Saturday, June 28, 2008

Losing the Ant War

By Paul
Las Vegas, NV

Last week I noticed an ant on my desk in Scheckytown. At first I blamed the drugs. Sometimes I see things that are not there or I feel things crawling on my skin that are not there.

Paranoid junkie am I.

That went on for a few days. More so late nights. I'd be at the wood desk from 3am to 6am on any given night. That's when I started seeing multiple ants. One would scurry across the desk. Then another.

One night I must have been super wasted because I stopped everything I was doing, grabbed my mini-flashlight and investigated.

How did the ants get on the desk? They each crawled up the legs.

But where did they come from? I noticed a trail of ants along the floorboard. Most of them were coming in one direction. I followed them all the way to the front door. There must be a nest underneath the floorboard in the door way.

I did a very un-Buddhist thing and squished a few dozen or so. I left the dead ant bodies in front of the opening in the floor as a reminder to other ants who dare leave their abode and venture into my territory.

When I'd get up in the late mornings to go to work, the ants were never around. They only came out at night.

A week passed and the ants continued to return. The next day I went to the store and bought ant traps. Ants are supposed to go in, eat the bait, take it back to the nest and everyone will die.

Well, I put out four. Two by the legs of the desk (in order to catch them on their ascent) and one near the front door.

I observed the ants behavior. None of them went inside. They crawled over them or simply went around them. Hmmmm..... not too effective. But that's what I get for $3.98.

Three days later, I noticed that the ants wobbled a bit and that the overall size in ants were a bit smaller. Did it work and all the big ones were killed off? Did the bait get the ants drunk?

I must say that the traps did not work. It's time to engage in chemical warfare.

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