Monday, November 17, 2008

Cosmo and Sal

By Pauly
Hollyweird, CA

The ring of fire encircled the city of Angels. I can smell the thick smoke with the door shut and the windows closed. Sometimes when I step outside, it makes me choke when I catch a whiff of a bad batch mixed with smog. My eyes water because the smoke is everywhere. The folks at the coffeeshop said that parts of the freeway were closed in the OC. Fires raged all over LA County, the OC, Riverside and up in Santa Barbara. I have plenty of water but my pharmies and herb supply is running low.

I'm waiting for the looters to show up. I'm armed with a putter and a switchblade that Flipchip gave me for Christmas last year. Perhaps I should gas the car up ASAP, just in case I need to flee?

The fires made the sky radiate odd colors just before sunset. Shades of pink and orange hues speckled the sky. The always ominous Nakatomi Plaza located a few blocks away was absent from the skyline and lost somewhere behind a morass of smoke.

Ryan sent out a tweet... "Can barely see the Hollywood sign for the smoke. This is unusual, here, even on the smoggiest days."

So this is what the Armageddon will look like? And smell like? Something out of the Wasteland by T.S. Elliot. Then again, nothing was more horrific than the stench of death in lower Manhattan in the weeks after 9.11.

Otis told me he was learning Spanish via Rosetta Stone. The commercials are on all the time. I checked their website and that shit is pricey. It will be cheaper to hire a Mexican maid for $20/hour and have her teach me Spanish. I go to Mexico in two weeks. If I hire a maid to come by everyday the apartment will be spotless and I'll learn to count to 100 and learn the proper vernacular on how to score some good generic painkillers from the local pharmacias.

I watched a weird Australian comedy show on HBO. I got sucked in mainly because I was too lazy to grab the remote from off of the floor when it fell off the coffee table. They used the word "bogan" frequently in the show. That's the local Aussie slang for redneck.

One of my freelance writing clients is actually an Australian based company. I took three trips there in the last two years for various work assignments and several of my colleagues were Aussies. One afternoon on a slow day of work, we were engaged in a cultural exchange of idioms and slang. I wanted to know what they called white trash or rednecks. I showed them photos of traditional good old Southern rednecks. As soon as they glimpsed at the photos, they said, "Bogans!"

Bogans in Australia consume shitty beer, drive pick ups, listen to country music, and knock up their cousins just like their American counterparts. But they bogans also love AC/DC. Angus Young is their god.

You've been thundersruck.

Going into the Sunday night football game, I was 12-1-1 in my picks this week and gunning for the top spot in Pauly's Pub. A near perfect week with the exception of a rare tie and an upset that everyone in the pool missed. I had one of those difficult moments as I watched the Dallas/Washington game on Sunday night. Conflicted. I picked Washington to win and if they won, I'd be tied for first place in my pool. However, Tony Romo was the starting QB for Uncle Jodd's Band in the Lamont Jordan Fantasy Football League... and his first start since he broke his pinky after trying to shove it up Jessica Simpson's snatch. Senor and I lost two straight weeks and slipped to 5-5. We desperately need a win in order to have a shot at making it as a wild card team in the playoffs. First place pays something like $3,000 in our pool so every game, every play, and every yard counts.

The best possible outcome would be a shootout with Washington winning 42-35 and Tony Romo tossing 3 TDs with 350 yards. Alas, the results were bittersweet. Dallas won 14-10 and Romo threw for 200 yards, 1 TD, and 2 INTs. We're up by 27 points and our opponent has Marshawn Lynch left to play on Monday Night Football. Lynch has not scored more than 25 fantasy points in a game all season which means he'll score 28 and we'll lose. So Uncle Jodd has a shot at making the playoffs, but I had a minor setback in Pauly's Pub.

I watched Entourage and was surprised that it was the next to last show of the season. It seemed like it started only a few weeks ago. Can't believe we got to know Turtle's real name... sort of like Cosmo Kramer.

I watched a weird documentary on the BBC about legalization of marijuana in the UK. It was a snoozer and I barely watched five minutes of it before I switched over to Almost Famous instead.

Never make friends with the rockstars.

Reminds me of what I have to do for a living. I always did my best to remain at arms length away from poker pros. I have befriended a few over the years but our friendship susually evolved away from the poker scene. For the most part I need to maintain a healthy distance in order for me to objectively write about everything without bias.

I intended on taking the day off from writing. I actually didn't work on anything new. I managed to dust off an old project. I had several different themes and side stories running through a larger body of work. I wanted to see what it would look like if I removed one particular secondary story line and spliced it together from beginning to end (well, the end meaning where I stopped working on it). The secondary story line was was sprinkled throughout the manuscript and weaved itself in and out and around the main story.

I decided to shake things up and flip things. I made the backstory become the main story. Anyway, the newer version started out at 13,000 words. I cut 1,500 words and added 2,000. It needs a ton of work but I'm digging the new spin. Wonder if it will get inspired to work on it. Ah, if I only had four months in a row to write...

No comments:

Post a Comment