Friday, July 10, 2009

Prop Bets with Frenchmen

By Pauly
Las Vegas, NV

Real questions by degenerate gamblers. Real answers from an angry Frenchman. Here's the latest installment of What Does Benjo Think? It's a game that Otis and I play in the press box to keep things loose. We wager on what we think Benjo would answer a series of random questions...
Volume 1 & 2
1. Who is the worst U.S. President?
Otis: Nixon
Pauly: W Bush
Benjo said, "Nixon. Because I just watched Frost/Nixon."
Result: Otis wins (0-1)

2. Who is the biggest influence on rock & roll in America?
Otis: Beatles
Pauly: Bob Dylan
Benjo said, "It has to be a British band. Led Zeppelin. Because the Beatles is pop and Dylan is folk."
Result: Push (0-1-1)

3. Hottest chick in poker?
Otis: Alexia Portal
Pauly: Lacey Jones
Benjo snapped called with, "Lacey Jones"
Result: Pauly wins (1-1-1)

4. The home state of the next American girl he hooks up with?
Otis: Arkansas
Pauly: Texas
Benjo said, "California."
Result: Push (1-1-2)

5. How big is Tony G's bankroll?
Otis: $20 Million
Pauly: $17 Million
Benjo said, "$1.5 million."
Result: Push (1-1-3)

6. Between an enema, a vasectomy, and a punch in the nose... which one would you prefer to wake up to?
Otis: Enema
Pauly: Punch in the Nose
Benjo said, "Punch in the nose."
Result: Pauly wins (2-1-3)

7. Who is your favorite character on the Sopranos (not including Tony Soprano)?
Otis: Paulie Walnuts
Pauly: Silvio
Benjo looked up characters on the internet and then blurted out, "Johnny Sac."
Result: Push (2-1-4)

8. Who is the best looking male in poker?
Otis: Patrik Antonius
Pauly: Random Scandi
Benjo almost went for Patrik Antonius, before he refused to answer the question because we'd give him guff and unleash a round of 'gay' jokes. He picked Dan Harrington.
Result: Push (2-1-5)

9. How many shots of Southern Comfort does it take to get AlCanthang drunk?
Otis: 7
Pauly: 14
Benjo asked how big were the glasses of SoCo that Al drank. After we told him, he said, "27."
Result: Push (2-1-6)

10. Which sex tape of a poker couple would you like to see?
Otis: Benyamine/Schoenberg
Pauly: Harman/Traniello
Before I could complete the question, Benjo blurted out, "Benyamine. Anything he does? I'm interested in."
Result: Otis wins (2-2-6)

Volume 3
1. What is the combined weight of Doyle Brunson, David Benyamine, and Steve Diano?
Otis: 1200
Pauly: 1100
Benjo said, "That is tough. I say 1000."
Result: Push (0-0-1)

2. How many pros were rolled by a hooker last night?
Otis: 1
Pauly: 3
Benjo said, "Rolled by hookers? Three."
Result: Pauly wins (1-0-1)

3. In a fight between Melissa Castello and Dario Minieri, how long does it take Melissa to win?
Otis: 2 minutes
Pauly: 30 seconds
Benjo said, "Dario has little fists that hurt. He can punch fast. If he has a proper helmet, he can last three minutes."
Result: Push (1-0-2)

4. If Dario is allowed one non-lethal weapon to use in the ring against Melissa, what would it be?
Otis: Scarf
Pauly: Piano Leg (getting 2-1 on this selection)
Benjo said, "Scarf. He'll tie it around her neck and choke her."
Result: Otis wins (1-1-2)

5. What Michael Jackson song will Benjo sing on American Idol?
Otis: Billie Jean
Pauly: Beat It
Benjo said, "The Jackson 5 song I Want You Back. It was the greatest song of the 1960s."
Result: Push (1-1-3)

Volume 4
1. What is weight (in pounds) of a whale's vagina?
Otis: 120 lbs
Pauly: 500 lbs.
Benjo said, "Fish have proper sex organs? Whales have vaginas? Someone actually weighed one?"
Otis said, "Yes. Whales are mammals so they have vaginas."
Benjo said "I have to say 50 lbs."
Result: Push 0-0-1

2. If the WSOP gets a new sponsor in 2010, what industry will it be in?
Otis: Alcohol
Pauly: Feminine Hygiene
Benjo said, "Well, the WSOP have taken a step down from Mr. Peanut to beef jerky. I have to say that a new sponsor will be something like diapers for incontinent old people. At the Seniors event instead of free beef jerky, you get free diapers. Smaller lines at the bathrooms on the break."
Result: Push (0-0-2)

3. If you could date one female pro for one month... Isabelle Mercier, Kathy Liebert, Erica Schoenberg, and Vanessa Rousso... who would it be?
Otis: Erica
Pauly: Vanessa
Benjo said, "That is tough, but Erica. I'm interested in everything that David Benyamine does. Although my second choice is Isabelle."
One random European media rep passing through the press box piped in, "Oh Isabelle? I'd pick her. Everyone that I know who slept with her says she's crazy in bed."
Result: Otis wins (0-1-2)

4. How many tricks does an Amsterdam window hooker turn in an average day?
Otis: 13
Pauly: 11
Benjo said, "Let me see, if they work 8 hour shifts and each guy is twenty minutes, but maybe five minutes if he cums fast, so I'd say 25."
Result: Push (0-1-3)

5. In a 100 yard dash... which writer from Poker Stars Blog would win? Otis, Bartley, Howard, or Lina?
Otis: Lina
Pauly: Bartley
Benjo said, "Otis? Out of the question. No offense. He could beat me in a race though. Lina? She smokes, so no. Howard is slim and is a non-smoker. Bartley is a ginger. No way. So, I have to say Howard."
Result: Push (0-1-4)

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