Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Not So Glee

By Pauly
Los Angeles, CA

I got lost in Little Ethiopia.

I had no clue that I lived close to that section of Los Angeles, located a mere one or two neighborhoods away. I woke up early on the first day back after a holiday weekend and while Nicky slept, I took her car out for a spin and drove eastbound on Pico Blvd. to the grocery store in a decent part of town, but much less posh than the huge Ralph's near Chevoit Hills or the swanky Whole Foods in Beverly Hills.

I wandered into the grocery store where the working class stiffs shop for their foodstuffs. You were not going to see a D-list celebrity picking berries like you would at Whole Foods. I opted for that particular store because they sell certain beverage that is very tough for me to find in L.A., so I went there to pick up a couple of six packs of said beverage.

The store was almost empty at 8am, aside from a couple of guys in aprons re-stocking the shelves. I picked up a slice of chocolate cake because the savory treat would not stop calling my name. I only wanted an apple fritter for breakfast but the cake was hard to pass up. I bought both. Life is short.

The apple fritter was freshly topped glaze that glistened underneath the muted florescent lights. I almost jizzed myself when I bit into the fritter. I couldn't even wait to go home to enjoy the delicacy and gave in to every single temptation. I ate 1/3 of the fritter in the parking lot while I listened to a Phish mix that was in Nicky's CD player. I was so perplexed with the sugar rush that I took the wrong turn and ended up in Little Ethiopia.

* * * * *

My girlfriend goes nuts over the TV show Glee.

And I'm talking about the bombardment of the commercials. She sings along to those her best diva voice. Nicky watched the pilot (more than once) and while sitting in the living room and clutching her magical mystery bong, she belted out a few numbers along with the characters in the program.

It was a little scary, but that's the inner showgirl in her. I forgot about her Hollyweird roots. It bubbles to the surface from time to time. Show tunes. Good God, what have I gotten into.

All I know about Glee, is that it's a FOX show about high school musical theatre. I'm a closet homophobe so I don't even consider watching it. I admit, I found myself watching Bring It On this weekend, but that's because I'm a closest pedophile.

Or am I just normal? Who doesn't like high school girls? That's why there's the 18-year old rule to keep guys like me from roaming hallways of high schools.

Since both Generation X, Y, and Z were raised by addictive socializing agents (television and the intertubes), they're so conflicted how to act that they have to carry-two separate lives... one in the real world and the other virtual.

It's hard enough trying to be cool in real life with things like acne, but it's even more brutal if you can't establish a hip corner of the web. Otherwise, you're milktoast and stuck riding the short bus with the Guatemalan kids who don't speak English, the special-ed kids who have to wear helmets, and the albino kid with the oxygen mask (he was the former meth baby who defied the odds of survival) and you got stuck sitting next to him.

Sorry about the tangent. To sum up, Nicky likes Glee and I can't wait for football season.

Alas, football is a bittersweet entity on the Left Coast. I'm living in a city that does not have a football team. The City of Angels boasts two baseball teams (one they stole from Brooklyn and the other out in Orange County in the shadows of Disneyland), two basketball teams (well, 1.5 because the Clippers are atrociously the bottom feeders of the NBA. If the Lakers are Vincent Chase, then the Clippers are Johnny Drama), and one hockey team. Shit, L.A. even has a soccer team but no American football team. That's kinda pathetic but goes to show what sort of town L.A really is.... a lame one.

"So who do we watch on Sundays?" wondered Chicago Bob, a lifelong Bears fan who moved to L.A. this summer and on the cusp of sampling of West Coast football.

"USC games. Sadly."

Actually on Sundays, I'm stuck with San Diego games which means I'll be trying to draft players on the Chargers for my fantasy football teams so I can keep an eye on them. And then there's the odd Raiders/Niners game. I gotta hope that a couple of random Jets games sneak through.

On a good note, the games start at 10am. That's the best thing about living on the West Coast. You wake up and the games are on! Zero waiting time. And the afternoon game ends at 4:30ish pm so you still have a half of a Sunday left without feeling like you wasted your life away sweating your fantasy football team.

* * * * *

Did you know? According to Phish's guitar player, Trey, they collaborated with Ben & Jerry's on the ingredients of Phish Food ice cream and almost added raspberries to the popular flavor.

No comments:

Post a Comment