Thursday, February 03, 2011

Random Unconnected Thoughts, Vol. 1: Bacon As a Main Course

By Pauly
Los Angeles, CA

On Tuesday, I ate bacon for lunch as my main course It came with a side of eggs, biscuits, and home fries.

This is one of the only times of the year that I actually dig living in Southern California. I heart goes out to everyone freezing their ass off. Actually, I'm lying. No it doesn't. I pay a dear price to not freeze... by putting up with chemtrails, insane traffic, and surrounded by vapid shitstains.

"The American economy is based on Wall Street banks selling shit to each other and collecting a fee," said Max Kesier in his latest report, in which he also called Fed head Ben Bernanke a "crackhead."

I lost three bets on basketball games by a total of 2.5 points in the last two days. Either the bookies know exactly what they are doing, or I'm just having a bad week.

Aside from basketball, I have been avoiding TV. I watched Egyptian protests while streaming live feeds from Al Jazeera via my laptop. Aside from that, it's been tons of reading and watching documentary films on a variety of topics, but it seems in the last few weeks, I dabbled in films about artists (painters mostly) and art movements.

I'm not the only one on a recent doc film kick, Otis has been on one as well. In his latest post Dry Doc'd, I left a comment listing a few films that I saw recently.

I must have been super wasted the other night, because when I woke up I shockingly discovered that... 1) I bet a 4-team parlay, and 2) it included 2 hockey teams. I blame the Xanax. I took it to help me sleep, but either I was "sleep betting" or I made the bets in that fuzzy stage before I crawled into bed

In that same schwasted stupor, I bet on the Oscars. In the sports betting world, we call those "exotic" bets. In the Best Actress category, I guess that I didn't want to go with chalk and the favorite, Natalie Portman at -100. Annette Benning was getting +300 for her role in a film about lesbians. I figured, if anyone was gonna upset Nat, it was gonna be Annette. At least, that's the logic I assumed went through my fuzzy head when I made the bet. When I mentioned that to Nicky, she said, "No way that Natalie loses." Gulp. I should know better because the Oscars are rigged.

Nicky got a random card from her aunt and uncle (who live out of state) congratulating her on winning a poker tournament. They ended the car with a blunt, "Don't forget to take care of us." That took balls.

I've drank rum everyday for almost two weeks. If you count my mini-vacation in the Bahamas, where I acquired this new-found addiction, it's been something like 20 rum-infused days out of the last 27. I haven't drank that frequently in a couple of years, probably since the last time I had a lengthy work assignment in Australia.

I got an email from a friend who said, "I'm enjoying the Tao this week." I had to ask him which one (I knew it wasn't Tao of Bacon because I don't post very frequently). It could have been one of three Taos: Pauly, Poker, or Fear. He said: "Poker"

I got a text from a friend asking me if I was OK, because he read that I as "drinking gay (pink) drinks."

In the last 10 days, I skipped a proper dinner a couple of nights and only ate some sort of derivative of peanut butter along with fruit. In the same stretch, I never skipped breakfast at all.

I broke a streak of eating breakfast at the coffeeshop for 12 straight mornings....including two weekend mornings, something that I never do because it's always so crowded with hipsters. The streak was broken when I woke up past noon.

Sometimes, the hipster kitten upstairs drives me crazy, running back and forth and darting back and forth because you can hear the slightest movement with the hardwood floors. I haven't complained yet, because what are they really going to do? Kill the kitty? Cut off its legs? If anything, I just have some fire power if they ever complain about anything. So now, I blast my music a lot louder than usual in protest.

I left my copy of Griftopia at the coffeeshop on Wednesday. Incidentally, as much as I love that book, no one there was interested enough in the topics that they'd want to seal it.

My nose hurts. It must be allergies. I forgot that in SoCal, winter is over by the end of January and now we're in the Spring.


  1. Love documentaries - saw "The Mona Lisa Curse".

    If you're into docs on the arts, "Herb and Dorothy" is about two unlikely art collectors - a postal worker and a librarian who amassed the biggest collection of modern art - all in a tiny one-bedroom apartment in Manhattan.

    "The Yes Men Fix The World" is hysterical - corporate pranksters take corporations for a ride. Too funny.