Shitting on Airline Beverage Carts, Lindsay's Boobs... and the Tao of Pauly?

Just another random lonely Wednesday night for some web surfers. Here's two hilarious recent referals from last night from searches that turned up the Tao of Pauly... shit + airline + beverage cart and Linsday Lohan's Boobs.

So if you search for those two items... one obscure, and the other pretty frequent... you'll stumble upon my site.

5 Phish Songs I Don't Care to Hear This Summer...

1. Pebbles and Marbles
2. Secret Smile
3. Scents and Subtle Sounds
4. Squirming Coil
5. Chalkdust Torture

I rather hear kick ass tunes like: Ghost or Slave to the Traffic Light, hell even a Foam over any of the above.

5 Random Simpsons Secondary Characters I Want to Get Stoned With...

1. Groundskeeper Willie
2. Carl, but not Lenny
3. Bumble Bee Man
4. Mayor Quimby
5. Otto the bus driver

Baby Steps for Ugarte

Congrats to Ugarte who kicked ass in his comedy debut last night. He made the next round of NYC Funniest Jew, which will be held on June 29th. I'll just be getting back from Phish tour... so I won't miss that gig!

Check him out tonight:

On Wednesday, June 2, I will be at Stand-Up NY to compete in the "Funniest Lawyer in NY" contest. The show starts at 9, but you need to arrive by 8:30 to be seated. Again, reservations are highly recommended. Call 212-595-0850. Did I mention that you have to say my name? It appears above.

Break a leg!

5 Random Famous People I Shook Hands With...

1. Jerry Garcia
2. Al Gore
3. Willem de Kooning
4. Rudy Guiliani
5. Ben Jones (a.k.a. Cooter from The Dukes of Hazzard)

Week 3 BG-Pauly Gamblathon

Week 1... Tony Randall died and I won $5.

Week 2... Shrek 2 failed to gross 151 Million over the four day holiday and I lost $5.

Week 3... it's a carnival sideshow! Here's what Boy Genius suggested for this week's prop bet:

We're all tied up... Pauly and I are knotted at one win apiece going into week three of our $5 weekly gambling challenge. He and Tony-fucking-Randall took week one, and I rode significantly under the still over-performing abilities of a friendly ogre to take week two.

Week three's question:

What do the numbers 69 and 180 have in common?

Give up?

They are, respectively, the average height (in inches) and weight (in pounds you un-American kilobastards) of the adult male in this country.

The bet is:

Take these poker bloggers and guess whether they fall over or under the combined figure of 249 (inches+pounds) when adding height and weight:

Intrepid Card Player
BadBlood on Poker
Love and Casino War
Cheap Thrills
Grubby
Chris Halverson
Monte Christo
Genius of the Poker
Chicago Phil
Poker Penguin

I haven't met any of these guys, and short of that picture of Chris Halverson online a couple of weeks ago (and he might be exactly 5'9" and 180 lbs), I haven't seen pictures or went trolling to figure out if they ever wrote about height and weight.

My guesses:
ICP - Under
BadBlood - Under
Love and Casino War - Over
Cheap Thrills - Under
Grubby - Over
Chris Halverson - Under
Monte Christo - Over
Genius - Under
Chicago Phil - Over
Penguin - Over

He who gets the most right wins (of course, we need to get results from these guys - if you're one of these bloggers, wait until Pauly posts his O/U guesses, and let us know!). Good luck!

Wow, that's one monster prop bet! I decided to go with the gut on this one. And here are my picks:

ICP - Under
BadBlood - Under
Love and Casino War - Under
Cheap Thrills - Under
Grubby - Over
Chris Halverson - Over
Monte Christo - Under
Genius - Under
Chicago Phil - Over
Penguin - Over

We have simialr picks. It comes down to Halverson, Monte Christo, and Jeremy from Love & Casino War! I will post the results as soon as they come available!!!For the record, I am 6 ft tall and between 172-178 pounds. So I think I'm under!! I tipped the scales at 205 in college one year.