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Download PokerStars Sunday, October 31, 2004
Lamont Jordan Fantasy Football Update 
My fantasy footbal team team with Senor is looking good... we started the morning in fourth place (top six teams make the playoffs) and Uncle Jodd's Band is second in the league in total points! We've been hot the last two weeks, thanks to Priest Holmes. Today we took on Gitty's team Long Island Express and thumped them behind Priest Holmes's 3 TDs and our backup QB Drew Brees 5 TDs. We have a shot at Team of the Week... the top point getter for the week nets a $100 bonus. If all goes well, it looks like we'll jump up to second place. | Permalink | Last 5 Books I Saw People Reading on the Subway... 1. Giovanni's Room by James Baldwin 2. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by JK Rowling 3. All Through the Night by Mary Higgins Clark 4. The Holy Bible 5. Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov | Permalink | Al Cant Hang Lives Al Cant Hang called me from St. Martin to get the Eagles score. They polished off four bottles of So-Co in record time. He's alive and well. This concludes today's Al Cant Hang update... approved of course by Al Cant Hang. 
In case Al Cant Hang doesn't come back, he blogged his Will... In the event of a terrible accident...I feel sorry for the Amish kid. | Permalink | Las Vegas Poker Bloggers Tourney: Dec. 11 
Vegas anyone? Thanks to the Poker Prof and Dick from Buy It in Vegas for their help in helping me organize another leg on the WPBT and the first live poker bloggers tournament to be held in a Las Vegas casino! The buy in is $50 (with $5 per player going to the dealer toke). What: WPBT Holiday ClassicIn less than six weeks, I'm making my seasonal December trip to Vegas with Derek to play poker and gamble on the NFL. We came up with an idea of trying to find a casino to let us have a private table or even a private tournament. The Poker Prof suggested I contact Dick since he's the poker room manager at Sam's Town and a fellow blogger from Buy It in Vegas. Dick wrote me back and said we're good to go for a Saturday afternoon tournament on December 11th at 1pm. However, we have to limit the tourney to three tables... or 30 person max. That's why with a few exceptions, this is only open to bloggers. Please contact me as soon as possible if you'd like to play. Registration is on a first come, first served basis... and there aren't too many spaces left. Dick said he could throw in some "door prizes" to the pool. The Poker Prof informed me that Charlie Shoten was interested in playing with us as one of the celebrity guests and hanging out before or afterwards to offer up a Q & A session. Felicia recently had a great write up about Charlie Shoten. Anyway... if you're a blogger and wanna play, shoot me an email. I have about 15 spots available. I'm sure we'll be having some other prizes (bottles of SoCo) and bounties (Hilton Sisters). 
40 Days until Vegas. Can't wait. Visit the Poker Grub for more info on the next online poker bloggers tournament The Grublog Poker Classic II. | Permalink | Fantasy Pauly For all your Pauly's Pub fantasy pool updates, visit: Pauly's Pub. Thanks and best of luck this weekend. Congrats to Al Cant Hang for winning his horse racing fanatsy pool. I came in 2nd place. D'oh! | Permalink | Best Show Ever? 
10.31.98 Halloween, Las Vegas, NV... Six years ago I saw one of the Top 5 Phish shows of all time and one of the best concerts I ever had the chance to attend. Senor scored tickets through Phish's accountant... and three sets of total sickness ensued in Vegas! I flew down from Seattle (where I was living at the time) with my buddies Ty and Wood. Senor flew in from NYC and his brother hopped a flight from New Orleans. We gathered in vegas and partied it up hard for a full weekend of gambling, Phish, and other tales of insobriety. Yep, six years ago I was completely out of my tits wasted. Senor too. We were messy puddles. After the show I almost got into a fist fight with our cab driver, a foul mouthed idiot who looked like Gopher from The Love Boat. Axilla opener! They busted out Sneaking Sally. Second set the boys covered the entire Velvet Underground album Loaded... including the first performance of Rock and Roll, which stayed in the rotation until the hiatus and post-hiatus. Rumors were floating all around that Phish was going to cover Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon... which they ended up doing two nights later in Utah. Senor has mentioned to me on several instances how that second set in Vegas was the best set of Phish he got to see... and he's been to many shows spanning the early 90s through Japan. I would say the entire show is the best show I caught in Vegas out of six (98,00, and 04). The third set was one of the trippiest I ever saw. Three songs... over one hour... Wolfman's Brother > Piper > Ghost. Man oh man. At the end of the show (after the Sleeping Monkey > Tweezer Reprise encore), before they walked off stage, Trey got nailed in the head with a glowstick. Vegas. Gotta love that place. Man, just 40 days until I arrive in Las Vegas with my brother and the gang from Philly, Mich-igan, Hollywierd, and South Carolina. I'm getting pumped. December couldn't come fast enough. Party Time Last night, Briana had a party and I never saw so many rip roaring drunk people in a very long time. Tonight... Medski, Martin & Wood. It seems like an NYC Halloween tradition for me, going to see MMW. I'm in for a spooky night. | Permalink | Mentor Material I got an email recently. A fan of my poker blog wrote me for some advice ad more specifically asked me to be his mentor. I was flattered of course, but how to let the college kid down easy. I've seen him play online at Party Poker and he used to follow me around from table to table watching me play. Here's his email: Hi Doc,I actually took the time to write out a thoughtful and honest response. Here you go. Hey Thinking About Going Pro, Sorry for the delay. I wasn't blowing you off, I just wanted to have time to give you a proper response. Unfortunately, I have to decline your offer. I am flattered... but I'm nowhere near the level of poker mastery where I could be giving someone sound advice on their game. It's one thing to teach my girlfriend's friends how to play poker... it's an entirely different thing altogether to be a mentor and coach. I would also like to add that I'm not a very positive role model... even my closest friends will tell you that I can be a psychotic selfish asshole from time to time. I would be a bad influence on you. Now, don't get upset... but I am going to be honest with you... stay in school. Poker will always be around but you are missing out on one of the most valuable experiences in your life... your late teens and early twenties. I just turned 32 and although my life is kick ass, those memories of ages 18-22 burn holes in my mind. I am thinking about a young hoops player that has the potential to go pro. He is tempted by fame, power, money... all those things that make the American dream sweet. However what they don't mention to him is that the world is a tough place... life gets harder the older you get. I always thought it would be easier but here I am in my 30s and it's harder than ever. Add that to the fact that poker is a tough business, tough culture, and an insane aspect of our society. You can go broke in one hand. All the best pros have gone broke. Hellmuth, Scotty Nguyen. Even TJ Clouiter has the reputation of being the best broke poker player in the world. It takes hard ass work and plenty of luck to kick out a humble living like the Erik Siedels of the world. Some poker bloggers I know should go pro. They don't because they have the foresight to understand that you cannot possible support yourself and a family on gambling money alone. Sure you and I are in the same boat... I'm not married, no kids, no responsibilities. But if I want to gamble I can because I have money coming in that I know I can rely on if I lose at poker. I've been playing seriously for a year... keeping notes on how I'd do as a full time player. And I'm not doing well. I cannot live off of poker alone. Instead I shifted my mentality.... writing and part time work pays the bills. Poker gets me the extra things in life... like nice dinners with the ladies, or Yankees playofff tickets for my brother's B-day, or a trip to New Mexico. I've been spending my bankroll to get the other things in life that my humble existence as a writer has never paid me off. Sure I'd like to ascend to the next step. But that's pure insanity. Poker will become like any full time job... if you ever had one you'd realize that at some point all jobs are the same... they all suck. You are better off getting a job on Wall Street than going to Vegas to play poker. You'd make more money right away and have a health plan and a great resume builder. It might not be as glamorous, but your parents would be proud of that career choice of yours. When you make a ton of money (like I did) you can walk away knowing that you'll have food and a roof over your head for a few years. My advice to you again, is to get a college degree. Stay in school. Have fun. Do stupid shit. Make friends. This is the part of your life when you need to make mistakes. Have poker be a major part of your life, but I think your academic and personal life should be your main priority right now. Once you are out of school... then you can do whatever you want. Because if you go broke as a pro... then you have a college degree to fall back on... and you won't be slugging beers at a bar, or making latte as Starbucks, or worse dealing low limit poker 40 hours a week to dipshit tourists. All of a sudden you'll get that bad taste in your mouth and it might sour your outlook on poker. I also draw from personal experience. What I wanted to do when I was 19... was far off from what I wanted to do at age 25 and age 30. You see what I'm getting at? People change. Life throws curveballs at you everyday. I can tell you this... all my friends at age 19 never envisioned what their lives would be when they are 30. And we all agree that the most influential times of our lives were those college days. Don't walk away from that. Most people would love to be in school. What's the rush especially since you are not 21 yet? Take this time to get better. Reread the books. I do that all the time. When I first quit my job on Wall Street to be a writer I knew deep down that I wouldn't be a great writer until I was 40. I am still 8 years away from that point but today I know I'm on that path. Why? My discipline to write everyday and have that as my main focus. But with the oversight to understand that life experience will make me a stronger person and artist. When I started playing poker I made a similar assertion. I won't be a good player until I'm 40. Sure I crush home games and win a little when I go to Vegas. So what. Any idiot can get laid in a bar if they have enough drunk girls. But I know that if I play a little everyday and hone my skills... that in 8 years I'll be the best writer and poker player I know. Your game needs to mature like a fine wine. Let it. The biggest mistake you can do is chase down a silly dream... today. Wait a few years. Get a degree. Have a kick ass college experience. Be a big fish in a small pond first. Crack your college games. Then, get a job even out of college and work hard to build up your bankroll by storing away your paychecks. That's how Fossil Man did that. Even Moneymaker to an extent. They had 9-5 jobs... a place where they could support their family and use a little of their income to build their bankroll, etc. Don't feel the urge to be like those idiots like Dutch Boyd and Fishman. Don't forget as much a Dutch Boyd is an idiot... he got a college degree at a young age and law degree and worked in the real world before his foray into poker. He had some personal wealth to fall back on. Same with Barry Greenstein and Paul Philips. There's no pressure on them because they are super rich. Poker is a game for them. And that's why they play great. Poker is as mental as much as skill. I don't think you have the head to play just yet. I could have blown you off or simply said words of encouragement. I'm sure you probably wanted to hear that. But I'm not one to bullshit. I shoot from the hip. I call things like I see them. You have raw talent... but that is simply not enough. I also know that life is precious and there is more to this world that gambling and poker. Hey, I'm lucky. Writing comes first. Poker is second or third. But that's what makes the bad days at the tables a lot easier to gut out. Because I know I have other aspects of my life to thrive in. When you lose, and lose big... that tends to seep into your everyday life. And then you and the people in your lives get affected. Losing is a disease. Once you are infected it's a bitch to snap out of that funk. Carve out a life for yourself and add poker to that mix... but don't make poker your primary objective at such an early age. You need a backup career if all else fails. Set a realistic goal such as: I want to move to Vegas when I'm 25. Until then you have several years to get better and build up that bankroll. In the meantime, go outside, read a poker (other than poker), make new friends. Travel the world. Fall in love. But don't waste your precious twenties at the poker table with the score of losers and degenerate gamblers. You can waste your 30s and 40s doing that! At the same time, I'm not one to tell you to gove up on your dreams. If poker is what you really want to do and if it's really in your heart... then follow your dreams... but don't rush them. If you wait a few years, you'll be better prepared to be in a position where your dreams have a better chance to come true. Hope this email helps. Thanks for reading, McG I have not heard back from him since then. | Permalink | Saturday, October 30, 2004
Poll Results: Kerry's a Winner; Bush's a Poker Buddy "It's not the people who vote that count. It's the people who count the votes." - Joseph Stalin 
Thanks to everyone who participated in the polls. In a closer race than I expected, Kerry edges out Bush. Here's the raw data. Total Votes (182)With voting held on three of my blogs, there were over 182 American voters. I had to throw out the responses from folks who insisted they were not going to vote. On the Tao of Pauly, Kerry beat Bush 23 to 11, or by a 2 to 1 margin. However on the Tao of Poker, Bush only lost to Kerry by a smaller margin; 86 to 66. Those numbers sounded more accurate. With a bigger sample to poll from, the Tao of Poker appeals to a larger demographic... with more voters scattered throughout the country, but with a significant number of more readers from the South and Midwest. Whereas the Tao of Pauly's readers are an eclectic bunch of open minded people from all walks of life centralized in the East Coast, California, and college towns (excluding Canada and Europe). The gender breakdown is more even on the Tao of Pauly with slightly more females readers than guys. I don't have the exact numbers but due to the heavy content of gambling and poker on the Tao of Poker, I'm sure that only small percentage of readership are women. The numbers from my polls pretty much matched up with national averages. Men are more likely to vote for Bush along with people in a higher income bracket. Married voters with kids tend to vote more conservative than single voters in their 20s. Scary Trends I was disturbed by the number of people who admitted they were not voting or voting for third party candidates... almost 18% of the total votes cast. An alarming number of these people live on the West Coast and in New York. And then throw in all those folks who read the sites and the poll... but chose not even to participate. Are those the same folks who fall into the 50% of Americans who do not vote? In the extremely important swing states, Kerry took Pennsylvania and won Florida by one vote. They tied Ohio and Wisconsin. Bush took Michigan and Missouri, while he posted big numbers in the South. Florida and Ohio are the two biggest states in my eyes. Whoever wins those electoral votes will be President. And I'm not the only one who think so. More money is being spent on television ads in those two states than all the other states combined. Although California and New York were won by Kerry easily, it was also the two states where Nader got his most support. In addition, that was where the highest number of people suggested they were not going to vote at all. Do New Yorkers have a higher bullshit detector than most folks and don't trust either guy? Overseas My blogs are read all over the world and I got some valuable feedback. A friend from England was the sole Bush supporter... which falls in line with Great Britain as one of our few solid allies behind the Bush Junta. My Canadian and Northern European readers expressed a sincere interest in Kerry. A response from a friend in Japan really made me think. Here's what a 20-something Japanese woman had to say: If I am an American, I will vote for Kerry because I hate Bush. But I also don't believe Kerry. I like America and I like American people but they (politicians) make your country bad. I think it is very important decision. I cannot decide it because I'm Japanese. The future is in your hands. So I just hope the world will be good.A simple message from the other side of the world told me that there are a lot of people paying attention to next Tuesday and understand the significance of everyone's vote or non-vote. And it's sad that more non-Americans have a better grasp on American politics than the guy sitting next to you on the subway or the dude behind the bar of your favorite drinking establishment. I don't care who you vote for... just go out and do it. Poll II The second poll (Who would you rather invite to your home poker game? Bush or Kerry?) was my favorite. I only held voting on the Tao of Poker. Make sure you read the comments thread. There are some hilarious answers from my fellow poker bloggers. The results are a shocker. Bush won by a landslide. Everyone would rather have Dubya sitting in your kitchen drinking beers, playing cards, and telling knock knock jokes. I guess that's part of the reason why some many undecided voters end up voting for Bush. he has a likeable quality, that despite his politics, you can sit down and have a conversatin with the guy. He's flawed and that makes him more real... more like one of the guys... than Kerry, who often appears stiff and overtalks like a two-bit preacher with that cheesy used car salesman's smile. My readers have spoke. Send Kerry to the White House and let Bush play in your home games. Who do I think is going to win? I'm calling for another overtime! Just like 2000 and Bush will lose the popular vote, but still win narrow victories in big states like Florida and Ohio to put him over the top. I put my money on Bush the second I woke up on 9.12.01 and I'm still waiting to cash that ticket. Who am I voting for? Not Kerry. If you asked him to flip a coin and pick heads or tails, you know he'd say both, then take your quarter. There's no way I'd vote for Bush. I'm going with Nader, a safe vote in pro-Kerry NY, unless that Marijuana Reform Party candidate sways my vote with a last minute session. Thanks again for your participation. | Permalink | Week 8 Best Bets Picks of the Week Zobo (6-2): Detroit +3 over the Cowgirls Rib Boy (6-1): San Francisco +2 1/2 over da Bears Chicago Bob (4-2): KC +1 1/2 over Indy Snail Trax (4-2): KC +1 1/2 over Indy Jodd (3-3): The Jets -7 over the Fish Dr. Pauly (3-4): Detroit +3 over the Cowgirls Parlay of the Week (2-4): Pats -3, Jags +1, Detorit +3 Upset of the Week (1-5): Balt over the Eagles Rib Boy's Beating of the Week (4-2): Seachickens over the Panthers Week 7: Jodd loves the Jets and he's sticking with them the entire season especially against the Fish. This week, I'm sticking with the Big D, the Pats, and the Jags as a homedog. Rib Boy likes the Seachickens to whoop this week after faltering last week. And he's picking the better team in an ugly game... the Niners. Daddy from Snail Trax and Chicago Bob love KC and the home dog. Zobo hopes to end his skid and picking the Big D over the Cowgirls. Week 6 Update: Zobo and Rib Boy are at the top of the pack... while I'm slipping fast. Last week featured some killer matchups. But this week's games aren't ase exciting. I expect the KC-Indy game to be a shootout. Philly and the Pats are the only undefeated teams left. | Permalink | Happy Birthday Rick's Cafe One of my favorite blogs... Rick's Cafe... turned 1 yesterday! Good job guys. If you don't know, one of the contributor's Ugarte found my poker blog and invited me to play in Signor Ferrari's home game at the Blue Parrot. Well the rest was history and I met the likes of Rick, Sam, and Coach... and I found myself a regular at the Blue Parrot. And in another bizarre insatnce of Six Degrees of Pauly.... Ugarte went to law school with one of my classmates from high school. Keep on blogging guys. | Permalink | Breeders Cup Saturday and Other Tales of Bacon Consumption I love bacon. Who doesn't? I've had bacon with several of my meals in the last ten days. One of my favorite diner breakfast plates is French toast with a side of bacon. I love bacon garnishing my cheese burgers. I'm a big fan of grilled chicken breast sandwiches with bacon. And I also dig bacon sandwiches... usually on a Kaiser roll with a slice of melted cheese. For breakfast today, I ate a scrumcious bacon sandwich with a slice of American cheese and green tea to drink. The Ponies! 
OK, now let's talk about one of the most exciting days of the year in horse racing. Today is the 21st annual Breeders Cup which for the first time ever is being held in Texas, at Lone Star racetrack in Grand Prairie, Texas (the midway point between Dallas and Fort Worth). The last few months I started tracking some of my favorite horses and I ready for a huge payday especially after I took the advice of Boy Genius and his write ups on The Final Strides. So here are my picks for this afternoon's races at the Breeders Cup: Mile: Artie Schiller, Nothing to Lose, and Special Ring Sprint: Champali, Midas Eyes, Speightstown F&M Turf: Aubonne, Ouija Board Juvenile: Proud Accolade, Sun King Turf: Kitten's Joy, Magistretti Classic: Ghostzapper, Funny Cide, Pleasantly Perfect And for two other races... Distaff: Ashado, Society Selection, Storm Flag Flying Juvenile Fillies: Sense of Style, Mona Lisa, Sweet Catomine Of course everyone's attention is on the Classic. The $4 Million purse is the richest Breeders Cup final race in history... with Horse of the Year honors still up for grabs. I'm a big fan of Ghostzapper. That's where the bulk on my money is today. Live Updates... 1:35pm EST... Ashado(2-1 favorite) won the Distaff by 2 lengths. Storm Flag ridden by Jerry Bailey was 2nd. 1/1 so far today, although that was an easy pick. I hit my fist exacta of the day 1-7 for $34. 2:04pm EST... Sweet Catomine starting from the extreme outside, won by almost four lengths... and I hit my second winner of the afternoon. Jerry Bailey couldn't win with Balleto when he got caught in a jam on the final stretch. I hit my second exacta which paid $29. Mona Lisa came in next to last! 2:41pm EST... Artie Schiller started out slow and I missed a winner. And Singletary, named after former Bears linebacker, held on to win the Mile over the long shot Antious Pius. 3:17pm EST... BG called it right! Speightstown won the Sprint by two lengths and set a new course record in 1:08. I picked another winner and moved to 3/4 for the afternoon. 3:53pm EST... F & M Turf race and Moscow Buring got off to a quick start and led from start through the last two furlongs, until Ouija Board, the favorite came on strong and won by two lengths. I picked another winner! 4:27pm EST... Wilko upset the field on his first start on dirt. Ouch. 4/6 for the day. 5:05pm EST... Damn. Kittens Joy finished second to Better Talk Now, but there was a lot of sketchy action going on in the back stretch. Alas, after the inquiry, the results were offical. Kitten Joy was upset. 5:40pm EST... Briana's great aunt MaryLou owns Birdstone. Small world, eh? Ghostzapper won in 1:59 in the field of 12. Very nice. Call that one too. I finished 5 out of 8 for the day and nailed two exactas. | Permalink | Last 5 Flicks I Watched... 1. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind 2. White Chicks 3. The Cooler 4. Eight Men Out 5. IT | Permalink | The Wizards! My favorite Washington Post sportswriter, Mike Wise, penned a recent article: The Wizards Do Have Some Upside. Wise posed a few questions about the Wizards including a very young Gilbbert Arenas: Is Arenas the next Isiah Thomas or is he going to be one of those tremendously talented players who never got it done, like Rod Strickland?It's another great read. Check it out. | Permalink | Friday, October 29, 2004
Groovy Weekends and Well Deserved Vacations... My brother went to Maine for four days to hang out in Portland and visit the new location of Binga's Wingas that a friend of his opened. Here's an article called Portland Fry Station which talks all about it. Al Cant Hang and the lovely Mrs. Hang are off with his crew to party it down in St. Martin. He sent me an IM the other day... "1 spot open". And I was tempted! Have fun guys. Of course, today is the last day of work for Iggy. If you don't know, the Godfather of all poker bloggers and is walking away from his corporate job to play poker full time. Iggy's going pro! And he's going to make it too. Good cards, brother. Felicia and her husabnd Glenn are leaving Arizona for a week and they're off to Foxwoods Casino in Connecticut to play in various World Poker Finals events. I will be watching her play in a Stud tournament on Thursday and maybe I'll get to watch Glenn play in WPT: Foxwoods satellites. And this weekend is the Breeders Cup. Boy Genius recently suggested his best bet for tommorow's Sprint: The man has spoken. | Permalink | The End of an Era: Prom On Mars Alex from Prom on Mars sent me this email: Prom On Mars the weekly webcomic chronicling the space faring adventures of Liz and the Seniors of Liberty High presents a very special final strip this week at www.promonmars.com! For this emotional and gripping finale a holo-buffet of special features are being presented, including:So go over there now and check out the last strip of Prom On Mars. Support a fellow screen writer and creative mind. I admire your dedication to your site! Best of luck, Alex. | Permalink | Pauly's Pub Eliminator Pool Congrats to my brother, Derek, for winning this year's suicide pool. He wins $800! Way to go little brother! Both Denver and St. Louis lost this week, knocking out the last three... Coach, Austin Drunks, and Al Cant Hang. And yes, Derek's team was named Week 1 KO. Clever. Final Standings: Week 1 KO (Derek)... Still alive! Coach's Picks (Coach) Week 7 KO Austin Drunks (Matt Stephans) Week 7 KO AlCantHang (Al Cant Hang) Week 7 KO That's My Bush (Pauly) Week 2 KO Ugarte's Last Stand (Charles Star) Week 2 KO Snot Bubbles Anisotropy (Sean) Week 2 KO Moore Entry (Joseph Moore) Week 2 KO Sheer Entry (Senor) Week 1 KO | Permalink | Congrats Sox Fans I woke up in a great mood yesterday... and the day got better. Jessica bought me lunch at the diner near her office. I had a bacon cheeseburger with fries and an iced tea. Afterwards, I hung out with Briana all afternoon, watching White Chicks (friggin hilarious by the way!) while chucking water ballons off her terrace (20+ stories up) and crank calling Jenna at work. But first thing in the morning, I got word from the poker room manager at Sam's Town Casino in Las Vegas that he could host a private poker tournament for my friends and my brother when we all go out there in early December. I was fortunate that Dick from Sam's Town reads my poker blog and happens to have one of his own, Buy It In Vegas. Yep, I still dunno how I got a Las Vegas casino to host a private tourney for us! But the real reason I was in a good mood was because the Red Sox won the World Series. Everyone knows that by now. And it might freak some people out that as a die hard Yankees fan, why would I feel happy? Here's the deal... I have lots of friends, some old, some close, and others new... who are die hard Red Sox fans, who suffered a lifetime of misery. They all woke up on Thursday happier then some of them have ever been. I am not exaggerating that either. My good buddy Brad called after the last out, and in the 13 years I've known him, I never heard him happier and jubilant! If my friends are happy... then shit, that makes me feel good. So congrats to all you Red Sox fans out there, especially Senor, Brad, Jessica, Bad Blood, the Poker Geek, and SirFWalgman and anyone else I missed. Enoy your championship. Tis no longer the winter of discontent in New England. | Permalink | This Guy Worries Me More Than the Lack of Flu Vaccine Hell with the flu. There's an American voice on new terror tape. Either it's going to be getting ugly pretty soon or this is actually good news because they got the 3rd string as Thomas Friedman would say, making tapes. | Permalink | Recent Writing Music Included... 1. John Coltrane 2. Sidney Bechet 3. Charlie Hunter 4. Traffic 5. Jerry Garcia and David Grisman Check out this list of worst cover songs ever. | Permalink | Thursday, October 28, 2004
Sightunseen Congrats to Brian (aka Spider) for entering into the world of fotoblogging. So far so good. I hope you stick with it. Visit his site: Sightunseen. | Permalink | Last 5 Books I Saw People Reading on the Subway... 1. The Moons of Jupiter by Alice Munro 2. The Holy Bible 3. The Shadow of Saganami (The Saganami Island) by David Weber 4. Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs 5. A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction by Jon Stewart | Permalink | Double Dip Galactic I saw two Galactic performances this past weekend in NYC. I had not see the boys from the Crescent City in concert in almost a year. I was itching to see Galactic after I skipped out on three... er, two shows (Boston & New Haven to wtach the Yankees get spanked by the Sox) and after one show (Providence) was canceled. I was also bringing three newbies with me to experience a taste of New Orleans slam funk. This tour was the first time since the band started that they would be performing without their singer the Houseman. The songs would be all instrumentals and the band had to relearn and rearrange a lot of their older songs. I was wondering whether or not it was going to be better or worse. My initial thoughts... different. I miss some Houseman songs, but sometimes he killed the vibe of the shows with his slower love ballads. At any rate, I had an amazing time. 10.23.04 Irving Plaza, New York City, NYAs always, Jenna and Briana were running late and Bruce Cohen and I grabbed a few beers at Shades of Green before the show. Bruce is a drummer and we followed The Grateful Dead together back in 1994. In recent years I slowly got him hooked on Phish. He's a big fan of Jon Fishman and admires his style of drumming. The last few years Galactic was booked at Roseland Ballroom, one of my least favorite venues in NYC. The security is staffed by a bunch of Nazis, the sound sucks, and the place lacked the usual frantic energy that most Galactic shows undertake. Irving Plaza is much smaller and intimate. The sound quality is 1000% better. Plus, some of the best Galactic shows I ever saw were at Irving Plaza in the last 1990s. The boys started out slow and eventually picked up steam. I told Bruce to keep an eye on Stanton Moore. Most of you know how I feel about Stanton. He's the best living drummer in this solar system. I have to say solar system because I firmly believe that Stanton's an alien. No one can play drums like he can. Smooth, yet aggressive, he kicks my ass everytime I see him. He's the cosmic glue that keeps Galactic pushing forward. Crazyhorse Mongoose is an older tune that I've been fond of over the years. They managed to weave a lot of older material in with newer songs and plenty of stuff off their last album. For the fourth song the boys invited Mavis Staples on stage. If you don't know who she is.... ouch. I feel sorry for you. She's a gospel legend. And her voice is as unique as there is. Set against the hard New Orleans groove of Galactic, she quickly took control and belted out covers of respect Yourself and a sizzling I'll Take You There. That was a special treat, and she was the first of several special guests throughout the two show run. Mavis' presence got the packed crowd going, and the remainder of the first set was high energy. The Joker told me a story how the guitar player Jeff Raines, had a tough time with playing at Irving Plaza. Supposedly, he would get freaked out by the crowd... since it was so close to the stage. He's definitely picked up the slack the last few years and rattled off a couple of nice solos over Stanton's backbeat. Go Go is a tune they don't play too often (or at least I always seem to miss it!) and Rich Vogel on keyboards was the MVP of that jam.  Mavis Staples with Galactic At setbreak, the girls were still nowhere to be found. I grabbed a few drinks at the upstairs bar with Bruce and we moved up to as close to the stage as possible ... about the equivalent of fifth or sixth row. He wanted a better spot to watch Stanton Moore play. He was into the crowd and was digging the entire Galactic flow. Second set was the best of the run. Ben Ellman (sax) and Robert Mercurio (bass) were bringing their best effort to keep the energy upbeat. Funkybird > Tiger Roll was tight and reminded me why I enjoyed Galactic so much ... to following them as far as San Francisco with Senor and through Colorado with Heather back in 1999-2000. The boys invited a few guests... the very tall Brian Mitchell in guitar and Marco Benevento on keys... to jam out one of my all time favorite covers: Hamp's Hump. Benevento impressed me. I heard him once before and I just found out he's playing with Mike Gordon on NYE in NYC at a late show at BB Kings. Hmmmmm. That would be interesting. Bruce bailed early and I eventually found Briana and Jenna. They had been inside for the entire second set but couldn't find us. Anyway, You could feel the floor shake during Doublewide with Stanton leading the charge on that entire tune. Tippi Toes is one of my favorite Funky meters tunes and Jeff Raines was having fun on that song. Looked like he got over his stage fright at Irving Plaza. They closed the set with Baker's dozen before encoring two decent tunes. The girls were having such a good time that they wanted the boys to keep playing! they were excited to be coming back to doa little more dancing the next night. 10.24.04 Irving Plaza, New York City, NYThe second night was kinda blurry. I was definitely more wasted for night two than night one. Briana and Jenna were both looking forward to seeing a full show. Of course we were late and missed the first tune... waiting in line to check coats downstairs. We got up in the middle of Forbidden Horn... which I think is a newer tune. I didn't recognize it. Bongo Joe is off of Ruckus and Jenna recognized that song off of the CD I burned her. Then the boys brought out a few special guests for the rest of the set. Eric Krasno, guitarist from from Soulive came out and they smoked out a hot cover of Blue Pepper. Kraz came out for Snowball, and Mike Doughty played three songs... including Move On (one of his originals), People Are Bad, and Circles. I had been hearing good things about him and was pumped to see him live. Mike is the former front man from Soul Coughing. The boys closed the set with my favorite galactic tune... Blackeyed Pea. Insane. Jeff Raines and Stanton kicked ass. I was feeling pretty good for the start of the second set with Dump Truck, Mario Groove, and Spy Hunter. Great start huh? Then they invited some more folks to play. Eric Krasno came out for Message and I love his licks. And two other dudes performed as well (I missed that bit I was at the bar). The highlight was when Jen Durkin from Deep Banana Blackout (remember them?) and brought down the house with Woman to Woman. JJ Grey had lots of stage time and he impressed me as well. I figured they'd close the set with a floor shaking Shibuya. It's my favorite part of the show, when they turn on the house lights and you can see everyone jumping up and down like maniacs! "Yeah, that Stanton guy is an alien!" Jenna declared on our way out. Briana wanted to go see them at their next show. Yep, I got them hooked. Here's what Bruce had to say: Man, those guys freaking CRANK! I was gettin down with their flowism. I can't believe how many hot chicks are into that band either. Geezzzzzz! That place was like that Widespread Panic show all these young hotties running around and boogeying to the GALACTIC flowisms. It's defineately easier appreciating their stuff when you see them live. And that GEEK flo drummer man Stanton Moore....HOLY HARD HITTING! DRUM smashing! I was digging the stand up and play the back beats on the ride cymbal. True artisan flo. I guess you might be right. I mean Fishman rocks, but this guy Stanton is like a jazz monster. | Permalink | In the Final Strides: Breeder's Cup Preview America's favorite poker blogger and thoroughbred guru Boy Genius recently posted a monster report on the Breeders Cup. If you are into the ponies, make sure you visit Breeders Cup Picks and Preview. | Permalink | Pimping Friends: Stand Up and Smoke Out Ugarte has been performing various stand-up gigs in NYC under his stage name Charles Star (Ok, that's his real name... seriously). Make sure you visit his calendar of upcoming events and if you are not busy on Nov. 5 @ 9pm, then go see Charles at Stand Up NY. Sit in the front row, get wicked drunk and heckle him! Diane is performing next Monday, November 1st at the New School. Here's what she wrote me: I'm going to be doing a show at the New School. I'll be doing poetry/music (original/new compositions) It's my first show in a while and I'd love for you guys to come out if you can :) Also performing are Claudia Alick and Smokin D'bate which is a hip hop group based in the tradition of the Lincoln-Douglass Debates. And it's FREE! :)If you are not busy check it out. You get to see two Blue Parrot regulars performing this upcoming week! | Permalink | Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Thanks Gil! Gil recently sent me an amazing copy of a photo he took last June when Phish played a set on top of the Ed Sullivan Theatre marquee. It arrived in the mail last week, but I finally opened it up tonight. Thanks again! Here's what he sent me. 
On top of Phish a photo by Gil Shapir. Make sure you visit his flog... Embedded in Brooklyn. With Christmas and the holidays coming up, some of his photos would make a great gift and can be purchased at afforable rates. | Permalink | Pauly's Poli Poll Help me out folks. I am running a quick poll on all of my blogs about the upcoming election. Please leave your answers in the comments section... but just leave your pick and the state you live in. (E.G. Bush, Texas or Kerry, New Jersey or Nader, California). This is not an open forum for a political discussion. In fact, all other comments will be deleted from yours truly. If there's something you'd like to discuss, shoot me an email. Otherwise, let's keep this simple. Who are you going to vote for on Tuesday? Bush, Kerry, or Nader? Thanks. | Permalink | Buttered Bagels I like my bagels buttered and not toasted. Most NY'ers like their bagels toasted or with cream cheese. I'm a butter guy. And here's my problem with NY bagelry. Cream Cheese is obviously more expensive than butter... and that's why bagels with cream cheese are a few cents more. I can dig that. However, whenever I get a buttered bagel, I specifically have to ask for extra butter. Why? Because the bagel spreaders barely give you any butter. Some even just spread a tiny amount on one side and that's it. I've seen bagels spilling over with cream cheese yet I also have to inspect my bagels to see where the butter has gone! Since butter is cheaper than cream cheese you figured they wouldn't be so cheap with the butter. Thank God my favorite bagel stores do not charge more for extra butter. Otherwise I'd be wicked pissed. End Bagel Rant. | Permalink | Recent Google Referrals in the Last 24 Hours... 1. Birthday cards with cheetahs 2. size of John Holmes penis 3. Ashlee Simpson SNL lip sync (14 separate hits) 4. girls who cheat on their boyfriends and get pregnant 5. Trey Phish cokehead | Permalink | Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Today in Phistory 15 years ago today I saw my first Phish show at the Wetlands in NYC. Here's the setlist: 10-26-89 The Wetlands Preserve , New York City, NYMy first's Mike's Song... ever! | Permalink | Something Completely Different 
I had not played at the Blue Parrot since my birthday. There was an event last week, but I skipped last Monday's NL tournament to watch the friggin' Yankees drop Game 5 of the ALCS in extra innings. This week was supposed to be a little different. The buy in was dropped from the usual $100 to $50. The previous games at the Blue Parrot are hyper competitive and the seats are with skilled players from all walks of life. Signor Ferrari was encouraging binge drinking and loose play with an emphasis on a fun night of poker, which included explaining some strategy and different games with some of the other newbie players. Plus, it was Ladies Night at the Blue Parrot. And drunk Pauly saw lots of flops and walked away the big loser. From my first sip of Molson, I went into Gus Hansen mode. From every position I raised with any ace, two suited cards, any paint and any pair. I always defended my blinds to a raise... even with crap. I raised on the button with nothing and jammed the pots whenever I had position. I also got sucked out a few times on and lost a couple of hands in Stud on the river. I was shocked to see that I was down so much. I guess I was having a good time... losing. That's rare. The Players:Read all about last night's poker session on the Tao of Poker which included me dropping a shitload of money and Julie challenging me to a drinking contest. | Permalink | Ashlee Gate and Other Sordid Tales on SNL Wil Wheaton even sounded off on the latest SNL fiasco. Here's what Wil had to say: The real story, if you ask me, is more about SNL, and how it traded Andy Kaufman for Andy Dick. The real microscope shouldn't be focused on Ashlee Vanilee Simpson, but should be focused on SNL, which used to be a reliable source of biting commentary and satire, but is now just another predictable, corporate, unimaginative stop on the flavor of the month's publicity tour.Wow, Wil knew Ashlee's middle name. At any rate he has a huge point. Suits run SNL these days. The musical guests used to be cutting edge. Sure Phish performed back in last 2002... but they also had a new album out and were back from their hiatus. These days selecting the hosts and musical guests are as easy as this... 1. Who has a new movie out that weekend?And that's it. I must say that the political humor is still the driving force behind SNL and even that has gotten a little stale. At this point I just watch Weekend Update and dream about that delicious threesome between myself, Tina Fey, and the blonde chick. I hope this incident lights a fire under Lorne Michael's ass. The Superficial had this to say: It's bad enough that her banshee sister became hugely popular for having the IQ of a grape, but Ashlee doesn't even have that. She can't sing, she's not entertainingly dumb (she's just plain dumb), and she doesn't have enormous boobs. So basically, Ashlee Simpson is a complete failure and the way she handled her lip synching fiasco just proves that she truly is the lamest individual on the face of the planet. The sad thing is that her career is still probably going to continue and be successful even after something like this. America makes me sad.What really makes me sad is that more people are talking about that talentless hack than discussing the upcoming election. Me included. And that makes me wonder... are the elections just as rigged as a lip synced performance? | Permalink | Some Phish Content Alea sent me a couple of Phishy things. Phish, LSD, and Mushrooms is a funny and interesting thread from PT. Check it out. I also got a chuckle from some of the pages out of Phish's Security Manual via The Smoking Gun. Be sure to read Tom Marshall and the Secret Life of Words is an article written by Jack Chester. an appears in Relix. Here's a bit: I’m not great with goodbyes. When I got there, I quickly realized that this wasn’t your regular Phish festival. I felt the end of Phish weighing on everyone... and it wasn’t just the mud. There was some overall oppression that I had personally weighing on me—don’t get me wrong, I saw PLENTY of people having a wonderful time. But I had flown in with the band and I couldn’t help but be saddened as the reality dawned on them somewhere between Camden and Coventry. The music suffered as well... Trey was emotionally overwrought. I had recently had a great time with him in Hampton and again in Camden. I felt those were really my last shows... and then more and more I began wondering what I was doing at Coventry. So I left in the morning after the first night of music. I was very glad to have gone—to have seen everyone walk in over insurmountable miles of muddy roads and hills to see Phish’s last stand. That was a triumph for Phish, and for me. I have been to every Phish festival, and there was no way I was going to miss the last one, and apparently thousands felt the same way. But when I drove out on Sunday, I felt relieved in many ways. I then went on a week’s vacation where I finally, peacefully was able to put Phish to bed despite the strong emotions that Coventry had conjured.Great read. Tom rules. | Permalink | Monday, October 25, 2004
Random Rhode Island Stories "Try to make a woman that you move, ooooooooooh20 Oct 2004... It was about a little more than a year ago when I started to make frequent road trips up to Foxwoods casino in Connecticut to play poker. I became familiar with the drive from the city via the Hutchinson River Parkway, a four lane winding highway, surrounded by trees and hills with a 40 mph speed limit, no trucksand no buses allowed, and no cops anywhere. It's a road where people regularly drive 80 mph through the splendidly colored foliage of Connecticut. In recent years the seasons usually jumped from summer to winter and straight into summer with a few rainy weeks in between. I missed the brisk autumn days where I would see shades of red, orange, and yellow colored eaves were a hundred different colors and no two leaves matched. Driving through New England in late October always reminded me of Nordic looking blondes in wool sweaters discussing Sartre and sipping hot chocolate, something resembling page 34 out of the LL Bean Christmas catalogue. Senor moved his wife and son from Providence to Naragansett, Rhode Island... famous for being the childhood home of one of our other fraternity brothers and probably more famous for being mentioned in several of Spalding Gray's novels. Spalding often fondly spoke of the Rhode Island beaches in his manuscripts and monologues. Even Phish penned Weekapaug Groove, a favorite song among many of it's adoring fans, after a weekend trip to party at a house in Weekapaug Beach when they were in college. I knew it was a good sign when I checked for directions to Senor's beach house and I realized that I was supposed to get off at the same exit as Foxwoods Casino! Instead of making a left at the light, I made a right and followed the road to the Rhode Island beaches. Forty minutes later, I arrived at the street that ran parallel to the coast where Senor's winter rental was located. As I drove up with the windows down, I inhaled the tantalizing ocean air. I could see the bluish-grey waves tumbling onto shore with the distant Judith Point lighthouse getting closer and closer. When I pulled in, I could see Ang waving at me with Little Senor in her arms. 
Point Judith Lighthouse I walked in the front door and I was greeted with "Here's Uncle Pauly!" by Senor and Ang. Little Senor was standing up in his red jumpsuit, with a Cookie Monster on the front. He reluctantly took a few steps towards me before smiling and showing me the beginning of his first two teeth. He likes to touch things and quickly put his little hands and fingers on my left check. He pressed hard before letting go and smacked me twice before he gurgled. The last time I saw Little Senor, he was crawling around everywhere, struggling to pick himself up. Now he was walking all over the living room and kitchen while Ang prepared dinner. I handed Little Senor another new Dr. Suess book for his collection. Next year I'll start him on some of the heavier Scandinavian existentialists. For now, it was just Suess. Senor drove me around Naragansett for an hour or so showing me all his favorite views and streets. He pointed out the old casino near Naragansett Pier. We stopped by a package store to buy beer and the placed was crowded with University of Rhode Island students loading up liquor for that night's big game. 
Ang was gracious enough to cook a few Thai specialties, like fried rice, spicy beef curry with sweat potatoes in peanut sauce and my favorite, garlic chicken. We quickly caught up on things and set a schedule for the next few days. I joked around with Ang and asked her who she'd vote for if she could vote. "Kerry," she assured me. Yep. We were not only behind enemy lines in Red Sox Nation, but I was also in John Kerry's stomping grounds. Rhode Island has always been one of the most liberal states as far back as it's colonial days. After dinner I watched Senor feed Little Senor mini-sized Mandarin oranges. The little kid loves oranges. Senor would shut the lid and he'd try to get more. It was Wednesday night and we had a difficult decision to make. I had picked this specific week to follow Galactic through several cities on it's northeast tour. When I made the plans, I overlooked the fact that the days coincided with the MLB playoffs. Earlier in the week I canceled playing in a poker tournament at the Blue Parrot to watch Game 5. I canceled a trip to Boston and the Galactic show to watch Game 6 of the ALCS. And I came up to see Senor because we intended to see Galactic at one of my favorite venues... Lupo's in Providence. Unfortunately, Game 7 was looming. Yankees vs. the Red Sox. The choice was easy. Despite the fact we had tickets, we passed on the concert and popped open a few beers and watched the game in his living room. It had been a very long time since Senor and I sat and watched a sporting event together... March of 2003 in Las Vegas, with my brother when we went to gamble on March Madness and watched the college basketball tournament in the Sports Book at the Mandalay Bay Casino. Wednesday was a historic night for every Red Sox fan. And Little Senor was too young to understand the cosmic significance of the night. His old man did, and watching the game as a die hard Yankees fan was difficult. Oh well. At least I got to see that game with the biggest Sox fan I know. Of course, I'll always remember where I was for Game 7 of the 2004 ALCS. When it was all over, there was no shit talking or gloating. We simply shook hands and succumbed to the utter mental exhaustion of the past week's marathon games. Senor went to bed and I went to drown my sorrows in a couple hours worth of writing. I'd occasionally pop outside for a smoke, even once walking down to the water to gaze up at the overcast sky. The smell was slightly intoxicating. I'd trade ocean air anyday for the stale stench of NYC subway urine. Little did we know that Galactic canceled the Providence show and Senor was issued a full refund for the tickets. Very cool. Here's the email that they sent: Tonight's show at Lupo's in Providence, Rhode Island has been cancelled due to tremendous interest in the ALCS baseball playoff match scheduled for tonight. Refunds will be given at the point of purchase. Tickets will also be honored at Galactic's show at Toad's Place in New Haven, CT. tomorrow night. We apologize for any inconvenience and appreciate your understanding.21 Oct 2004... I woke up early and couldn't fall back asleep. I was bunking downstairs in the basement which was Senor's office and doubled as the guest bedroom. It was fairly large and had sliding doors that looked out into the ocean. I could hear Little Senor motoring around upstairs before he left for his play date in Providence. When Senor woke up we headed off to Foxwoods. I stopped at Dunkin' Donuts for a few chocolate frosted and bought an ice tea for the drive. We arrived at Foxwoods faster than I expected and we were seated at a $4/8 hold'em table right away. I'll write up the specifics of my poker play later on. For now, I'll tell you that I sat at a table with one guy who looked like Ernest Hemingway and of course everyone at Foxwoods was a friggin' Red Sox fan. I lost just $15 after five five hours of play. We wandered over to the food court for some chicken fingers. I got a free lunch, one of the perks of playing endless hours of poker there in the past year. Nothing is better at Foxwoods than their chicken fingers. After lunch, I decided to play in a satellite for the World Poker Finals due to start in November. I signed up for a $150 Act II Satellite with a $1050 seat in an Act III tournament going to first place. I ended up coming in 4th place and missed prize money by one place. Down $165 for the day, I was ready to drive back to Naragansett. Ang told us about Little Senor's play date on our ride to dinner. We ate at Friendly's in a town nearby, which was crowded with plenty of other families. Little Senor is one of the most friendliest kids I have met. During our wait for an empty booth, he would walk up to other small children in line and press his hand onto their torsos. Our waitress was enamored by Little Senor. She kept saying, "He's so beautiful!" Yep. She was completely in love him, stopping everytime she passed by to ogle at him for a few minutes while she made a goofy face. Little Senor ordered chicken fingers and I decided to get a bacon and Swiss burger. My dessert was a chocolate shake. Yummy. Little Senor got a little testy after dinner and Senor let him out of his high chair to walk around. He ran off into an adjacent section. Senor gave me a look, "You wanna go get him?" I sprinted into action and found Little Senor standing at the foot of a table with two attractive URI students. They were waving "Hi" when I finally caught up to him. They laughed when I picked him up and carried him back into our section. "They're also in love with you too little man. Here's the deal. I want you to run back in there and go back to the same table." I put down Little Senor and he darted for the other section. On cue he walked right up to the table of coeds. The blonde smiled, "You are sooo cute!" "I'm sorry about that. My nephew just started walking a week or so ago. Now he won't stop." "It's OK," they both said in unison. "He's sooo adorable." Little Senor flashed him his patented smile and exposed his two little teeth. "Totally. He's more cuter than a basket full of puppies. By the way, I'm Pauly." "I'm Amanda and that's Katie," the cute one said. "And this handsome devil's named Little Senor." He gurgled some more as they fussed over him. Some chicks have baby fever. "Why do you call him Little Senor?" "It's a funny story. Lemme buy you girls a few drinks and I'll tell you all about it." ***** ***** ***** Galactic was scheduled to play a concert in New Haven. I skipped another one of their shows and chose to play poker online in a poker bloggers tournament. I downloaded the software and got ready to play against 133 fellow bloggers and readers featuring a celebrity guest, Wil Wheaton and a $800 first place prize. I came in a not so impressive 63rd place but I had fun playing with my brother, friends, some of my favorite bloggers and some fans of my blog(s). Before I crashed I took a smoke break outside along the breezy sea wall. In my mind, I replayed most of the hands during my stint at Foxwoods and online. I made a few mistakes and assured myself that I made plenty of correct plays. I eventually went back inside and wrote for a few hours before I passed out shortly before sunrise. 
When I got up the next morning, I quickly went back outside and inhaled as much morning air as possible before took some pictures and I jotted down my thoughts about the previous night's blogger tournament. | Permalink | A Monday Rant: Esquire's Hottest Woman Alive In case you missed it, here's the infamous, awful list compiled by nimrod suits and hipsters that actually fork over $8 for an issue of Esquire, that both Boy Genius and Al Cant Hang blogged their thoughts on. 1) Angelina JolieWhat is hot? What does Pauly find hot? It's the combination of good looks, personality, intelligence, and the fun quotient. Would these chicks wanna go beer bowling at 3am? Would any of them want to fly to Vegas and gamble for three straight days with my brother and Senor? Which one would smoke bong hits with me and watch Dazed and Confused or The Simpsons? And lastly, would any of them make me lasagna? 1. Angelina Jolie... I'm still bitter than Angelina beat out Katie Holmes in Sigge's 2003 Female of the Year contest. All bad vibes aside, I cannot rightly say that the former Mrs. Billy Bob Thorton is the hottest women in the world. Is she hot? Sure... just not number 1. She's dirty hot. And all the horny fucktards out there dig Angelina because they think she'll let them play hide the salami in her caboose. Boy Genius was quoted as saying, "There's no one I would rather spend a freaky weekend with than Jolie. Yes, she scares me a bit, but that's part of the allure." OK, if this list were for a weekend of freaky, I-won't-tell-anyone-if-you-don't-tell sex where vegetables and small furry animals are involved when I might wake up with testicles shaved and my penis cut off by a mango slicer, then for fuck's sake sure she'd be in my top 5... as long as I didn't have to talk to her afterwards. Angelina might do the beer bowling if she can get a babysitter for her adopted Cambodian baby but I know she won't get off her ass to cook for me. She barely cracks my Top 25. 2. Halle Berry... I have said once before that Halle Berry is the most overrated actress of our generation. She plainly sucks. In 10 years when her looks fade even more, we'll see just how talented she really is. Of course we'll have to sit through 3 more Catwoman flicks in the meantime. I concur with BG on his opinion, "But can we all agree that at this point Gabrielle Union has lapped her as the most beautiful Black actress in Hollywood?" Halle Berry would never cook a friggin hot dog for me let alone watch the Simpsons after scarfing down a few hits of Purple Haze. Al Cant Hang wrote, "I agree with BG on this one. Off with Halle Berry, on with Gabrielle." 3. Britney Spears... Yawn. BG said it best, "If it wasn't for doing dumbass crap to keep one's name in the media constantly, we'd have forgotten about her a long time ago." I'd have her on my list three years ago. Today? She's damaged goods. Let's stop looking at her man made cleavage and let's not forget about the trailer park psycho chick who married two guys in nine months. And whipping up a serving of tube steak does not count as "excellence in the kitchen". Look, I'm 32 years old. I want quality pussy. And Britney is nothing more than yesterday's Chinese food that sits in your fridge for two weeks before you take a whiff and throw it out because it just smells awful. 4. Jessica Simpson... I cannot sit in a room with a girl who has no idea why Dostoevsky has seriously impacted my life. I need some attention. And that chick is screaming adult ADD. Sure she's a blonde, but her father is a minister. That's a big no-no. Jesus freaks need not apply. Daughters of ministers rarely engage in threesomeones unless it's with two priests. And cooking a burrito in a microwave does not allow you to put skilled culinary expert on your resume. BG is not with me on this one. He mused, " I'd pay incredible amounts of money for a private lingerie show starring Jessica..." 5. Beyonce... She was a tough choice. Sexy and talented. Supple voice. But there's something I just don't like about her. Oh I know what it is. I hate people with one names. Cher. Jackee. Madonna. Beyonce. I had to ax her from my list. I had a feeling her record producers were buying her a spot on the list. BG loves her age, "Every time I see this girl, she gets better looking. While it seems like she's been in the spotlight forever, did you know she's only 23?" 6. Charlize Theron... A little wild. Very sexy. Blonde. And she loves Krispy Kreme. She makes my list! I must say that over the years she's warmed on me probably because she reminds me of an ex-flame. Delicious often comes to mind when describing her. I prefer to wake up next to a girl after a three day long Hunter S. Thompson-esque binge in Vegas and marvel in her natural beauty. She'd have nor problems doing an early morning wake and bake and firing up Dazed and Confused in the DVD player. OK, the negatives... her mother killed her father in front of her... so you know she's a little off in the head. I like crazy. Crazy girls are awesome in the sack. And I have a gut feeling she's the best cook out of the bunch. BG said it right, "I love the fact that she hasn't gotten implants. She's notoriously small-breasted, but unbelievably beautiful." Keep it real ladies. If you build tits, I will not come. 7. Jennifer Aniston... Implants? Nose jobs? She's got the best body that Friends residual checks can buy! OK, I might have had her on my list in 1996. But it's 2004, busting out on 2005 folks. If she wasn't married to Brad Pitt, she'd just be that chick from Friends with the hair. Her father was a semi-famous soap star in NYC, so you know that haughty taughty NYC princesses do not know how to cook. They can order in Thai food and sushi like pros, but that's the extent of their cooking prowess. Has she done anything outside of Friends? Aside from a terrible Texas accent in The Good Girl and a couple of really bad flicks in the late 1990s oh, and a poorly casted role in Ed Burns' She's the One. She's not even 41 on my list. Sorry Jen. BG verbalized my thoughts, "I think if I were to make a list of the 100 celebrities I'd like to sleep with, I'm pretty sure Aniston wouldn't make that list. I'm not sure why she's top seven anything. Seriously." So who would make my list? Feel free to submit your thoughts. And I'll post my list sometime later in the week. | Permalink | Last 5 Flicks I Watched... 1. Go Tigers! 2. The Formula 3. The Human Stain 4. Rounders 5. 10 Things I Hate About You | Permalink | Sunday, October 24, 2004
Esquire's Hottest Woman Alive 1) Angelina JolieBoy Genius and Al Cant Hang both sounded off on the list. Now it's my turn. What is hot? What does Pauly find hot? It's the combination of personality, intelligence, and the fun quotient. Would these chicks wanna go beer bowling at 3am? Would any of them want to fly to Vegas and gamble for three straight days with my brother, Senor, and Al Cant Hang? Which one would smoke bong hits with me and watch Dazed and Confused or The Simpsons? And lastly, would any of them make me lasagna? Let's start out by saying that only one of these women would make my list. Any guesses? Come back late tomorrow when I'll rip to shreds the awful list compiled by the nimrod suits and hipsters over at Esquire. In the meantime, read what the other guys said. Stay tuned. | Permalink | Ashlee Simpson Busted for Lip Sync Misplay I missed Saturday Night Live last night... I was at a real musical performance catching Galactic bring down the house at Irving Plaza. The annoying younger sister of Jessica Simpson fucked up her musical performance on SNL last night. Here's a bit: Saturday Night Live was not as "Live" as people expected last night. Musical Guest Ashlee Simpson poorly lip-synched her first song, and then a technical glitch or mistake led to the wrong vocal track being played for her second performance proving her fraud as she stood there confused while her recorded voice filled the airwaves . Simpson's band picked up the slack, attempting to save the show as Ashlee walked off the stage. Just a minute in (on a musical segment usually four or more minutes long) SNL pulled the plug, cutting quickly to a commercial.Did anyone else catch this fuck up? I love watching talentless idiots exposed for the frauds that they really are! Editor's Note: You can watch the video clip here. And here's a related article called In the Key of Fake. | Permalink | Saturday, October 23, 2004
NFL Week 7 Best Bets Zobo requested that I post the Picks of the Week way earlier than Sunday at Noon in order to serve a better service to bettors... so they have time to consider the experts options and get bets in on them. I was worried that some folks in my various football pool would change their picks once they know what mine are... but I'm willinging to give them that edge since I've been doing so poorly. So here you go, Zobo... a rare Saturday night edition. Picks of the Week Zobo (6-1): Eagles -7 over the Browns Rib Boy (5-1): San Diego +3 1/2 over Carolina Snail Trax (4-1): St. Louis -6 1/2 over the lowly fish Dr. Pauly (3-3): The Seachickens -7 over Arizona Jodd (3-2): The Jets +6 1/2 over his daddy's Pats Chicago Bob (3-2): Cincy +6 over Denver Parlay of the Week (2-4): Philly -7, Rams -6 1/2, and Seachicken -7 Upset of the Week (1-4): Tennesee over Minny Rib Boy's Beating of the Week (4-2): Seattle over Arizona Week 7: Jodd loves the Jets and he's sticking with them the entire season. I wish I had the same faith in them against the spread. Alas, I like the Seachickens and the Eagles and the Rams. Rib Boy likes the Seachickens to whoop on Arizona and he's picking a rare road dog, San Diego at Carolina this week. Daddy from Snail Trax is digging a Rams victory. Zobo likes the Eagles and told me that I should, "Bet the house!!" And Chicago Bob loves those home dogs. Week 6 Update: Bob loves his home dogs but picked the wrong one last week! Zobo is kicking ass. Going into Week 7 of the season, six teams already have five wins while three losing teams have five or more losses. The Patriots (5-0) and Eagles (5-0) are each leading their respective conferences as expected, but there are still some surprises among the very best and very worst teams during the first third of the season... like the Jets and the Giants and the Lions. | Permalink | Rhode Island Stories I'll be back on Monday with plenty to write about including some great stuff about my trip to Naragansett. | Permalink | Wise Briana and Other Horse Picks Yep it's true. There a horse running in the 11th race at Calder (in Florida) called Wise Briana. Logic would tell me to bet against it... but I have a feeling I'll be picking that horse due to immense pressure from everyone's favorite elevator button heiress. At any rate, she got a great workout last month running five furlongs in over 1:01. Maybe she can pull off a victory today? Today's picks: 8th race: Groove Jet and Rocknroll 9th race: Rompburger and Captain Lindsay 10th race: Cool Conductor, Eddington, and Icy Atlantic 11th race: Aclassysassylassy, Southern Serenity, Wise Briana 12th race: BB Best, Cin Cin, and CLosing Argument 13th race: Super Frolic and Twilight Road | Permalink | Fantasy Pauly Updates For complete updates on my Fantasy Pools... visit Pauly's Pub. Thanks! | Permalink | World Blogger Poker Tour 5: Poker Stars Fall Classic  Greetings from the smallest state in the union. I woke up early on Thursday and inhaled a couple of deep breaths of fresh early morning New England sea air as I casually took pictures. The Rhode Island coast is majestic and I quickly understood why my buddy Senor moved his family to Naragansett. After almost a year of life in the fast lane, it was soothing to get to take a break from being me for a couple of days and allow my mind to wander aimlessly to ponder the important things in life while staring out at the ocean for hours at a time. And the best part of getting away from the city... Foxwoods was just a little more than 35 minutes away... and Senor took Thursday morning off so we could go gamble! I'll post my Foxwoods trip report in the near future... which included a $15 loss at a $4/8 table and a paltry 4th place bubble finish in a $150 ACT II tournament (roughly it's a SNG with a chance at winning a seat in the World Poker Finals) and being the lone Yankees fan in a disgusting sea of Red Sox faithfuls. I started the day off at a casino... and I ended the day in front of the computer in Senor's basement office relentlessly cursing at those damn Hilton Sisters after placing 63rd in Iggy's latest poker blogger tournament. At 8:45pm, Senor kicked his wife off the computer to let me fire up Poker Stars and install AIM. His 11 month old son wished me luck as most 11 months could do... he rubbed my face with his hand covered in baby drool. I took it as a blessing from the poker gods. I tried to wipe off my face, opened up my notebook to a fresh page and was stunned to see that 133 players signed up for a prize pool of over $2200. Wow! Almost $800 going to the winner. It was going to be a huge pay day. I was pumped to play with my brother in our first poker blogger tournament together (he played in the Pacific fiasco which I skipped to go to Santa Fe) and I knew that Coach and some others like Signor Ferrari and Asphnxma from the Blue Parrot signed up. I also heard that Wil Wheaton was going to finally join us... which certainly excited all the degenerate gamblers in bloggerdom. I recall that last spring, Grubby contacted Ben Affleck's people to invite him to play... and they promptly blew us off. Don't expect me to go see that awful Christmas movie now... Affleck. Felicia got pro Roy Cooke to play with us a couple of times and that was fun. Alas, Wil's a good egg and he signed up looking to take down some of his favorite poker bloggers and even pimped the tourney on his popular blog. Yeah, at 8:59pm EST, I had one of those existentialist moments like, "How the hell did I get here?" I was sitting in the basement in a coastal town in Rhode Island playing online poker with 132 other degenerate gamblers, stuck in the middle of Red Sox nation licking my wounds after a horrible Yankees collapse, with baby drool on my face, and gleefully humming the words to the theme song from Diff'rent Strokes... "The world don't move to the beat of just one drumJust another random Thursday in my life. Right? The Players:I apologize in advance if I spelled any of the screen names wrong or didn't link up your blog. Shoot me an email or leave a comment and I'll do my best to correct it. And let me say that I'm sorry I also didn't get to talk to everyone. I wasn't trying to blow anyone off. With my AIM ringing off the hook and trying to watch my brother's table, taking notes, fielding calls from Briana who was checking up on my progress, oh and most importantly playing in the tourney... yep, I was definitely all over the place. It was cool to chat with some bloggers I never spoke to before and to be recognized by loyal readers of my blog(s). I've been saying that playing in these poker blogger tourneys are insane... kind like showing up to a cocktail party on speed... oh yeah and then there's gambling involved an dif you are lucky enough... having a bounty on your head. To read more about the latest blogger tournament... visit the Tao of Poker  | Permalink | Truckin' October 2004 (Vol. 3, Issue 10) This is my favorite time of the month, when I publish another issue of my literary blog-zine. October brings us two new writers as well as stories from two of my favorite writers, both past contributors. I penned three stories; a touching tale, a Vermont story, and I'm sharing an excerpt from my fourth novel Bar Hopping with Buddha. In her first appearance in Truckin', Kristie wrote up her thoughts about 9.11. BG returns with a personal story about being a hurricane survivor. Molly Burkhart joins the staff with a story called Cannonballs. And everyone's favorite Norwegian novelist, Sigge S. Amdal submitted an interesting piece called Facing the Facts. Sit back, enjoy, and please spread the good word about this site. Be sweet, McG. 1. Moments in a Box by Tenzin McGrupp "Someday, people will catch up to the way you think, and eventually figure out what you've been talking about all these years. And it'll be like we finally got the punchline to a joke," the girl with the seashell eyes used to say to me all the time in her sweet drawl... More 2. Hurricane by BG I've never lived in Florida, and would never want to. But I did survive Hurricane Jeanne. Barely, by the skin of my teeth, with the clothes on my back, with nothing left to show but what was left of my sanity and bank accounts on the tail end... More 3. My 9/11 by Kristie We have TVs on now and there are shots of people in New York, running through the streets in horror and in their business suits. Can't you just picture the looks on their faces? You remember, don't you? It looked like a movie... More 4. Vintage by Tenzin McGrupp Sometimes I did not get the money I wanted and I had to beg, borrow, or steal just to scrape together enough cash to buy a couple of drinks. For some reason, bartenders don't give out free drinks anymore to wayward philosophers or jaded artists down on their luck... More 5. Cannonballs by Molly Burkhart I hate cannonballs. Muskets, I can handle. Bayonets, I can counter. But those damn, shrapnel-filled cannonballs scare the holy hell out of me... More 6. Facing the Facts by Sigge S. Amdal After a couple of years... I figure it can't take much longer walking from Norway to Italy... we'd get there, and the group's members would recognize me as their guarantee of real, ultimate power in this glorious land that I had given them... More 7. Walking to Coventry by Tenzin McGrupp The Joker slung his gear on his back, ditched his rental car and walked into the campgrounds. He headed north and parked in a town called Newport, then hitched a ride halfway and hiked the rest of the way in... More | Permalink | Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Happy 1,000,000...Someone shoot me!1,000,000 words. I have infected the cyber world with one million words and 4,500+ posts worth on all my combined blogs. Don't believe me? Blogger never lies. When I told my brother he was surprised it didn't happen sooner. On that note... I'm taking a break for a few days. A well deserved break from blogging. I'm going out of town driving up to Naragansett, Rhode Island. I'll post Yankees write ups and Galactic reviews and any poker tournament write ups this weekend. I have to thank a special person... Skippy from The Daily Dave for encouraging me to start my first blog the Tao of Pauly. Any complaints about my million word infection? Shoot him. And thanks to Haley for encouraging me to keep on blogging when I wanted to quit. You can shoot her too. Thanks for reading. So what were the first words I ever blogged? Greetings and a warm hello to all! Finally, a long awaited site has arrived on the web where you can take a sincere peek into my sublime madness, a cosmic glimpse into the vile insanity, or a hesitant taste of my reluctant cyber rants and ramblings...That was May 25, 2002. What the hell did I create? | Permalink | Coventry Blog Updated I updated Coventry and added an excerpt from Lori from Kentucky! Thanks for sharing. It's looking good and I'm hoping to add some more pictures and stories soon. If you forgot, I started a new blog dedicated to posting a bunch of Coventry stories. Take a peek. | Permalink | Last 5 Books I Saw People Reading on the Subway... 1. The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd 2. The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger 3. On the Road by Jack Keroauc 4. The Holy Bible 5. Jazz by Toni Morrison | Permalink | Game 5: Red Sox 5, Yankees 4; 14 Innings Pedro was on in the first inning striking out Jeter and Sheffield. Matsui smashed a lingering fly ball to deep right center field and Damon fought the wind to haul it in. Mussina looked like he was throwing batting practice. He gave up three consecutive singles and a bases loaded walk. On his 30th pitch of the inning, Moose struck out Mueller with the bases juiced. He's lucky the score was only 2-0. Bernie Williams led off the second inning with a solo home run to right field to cut the lead in half. Red Sox 2, Yankees 1. Moose retired the side in the second and settled down. Trot Nixon robbed A Rod of an extra basehit with a diving catch near the foul line. After a Sheffield walk, Matsui doubled once again, but Pedro ended the rally when he struck out Bernie Williams. Moose worked out of a jam to end the fourth. Posada led off the fourth with a single. Pedro walked Sierra then struck out Tony Clark on four pitches and got Cairo to pop up. With two outs, Pedro had to face Jeter who already had two strike outs, and he grounded out to first. Jeter's series numbers stand out as way sub par as compared to the rest of his team mates. Moose retired the side in order and struck out Damon for the second time of the game. That was Damon's seventh of the series. Pedro walked A Rod to start the fifth. But Sheffield killed the rally with a double play. Pedro threw at Matsui with a knock down pitch and later lined out. Red Sox 2, Yankees 1. Moose gave up a lead off hit to Cabrera then got Manny to fly out, struck out Ortiz (for the second time) and got Cowboy Up to ground out to Jeter. With one out, Posada reached first on an infield single. Sierra singled into center, but Posada failed to advance to third. Tony Clark struck out on a 3-2 pitch. Pedro hit Cairo to load the bases for Jeter. On his 100th pitch of the game, Jeter ended his slump and lifted a 3 RBI double down the right field line and moved to third on a play at the plate. Cairo's creative slide into home allowed him to avoid Varitek's tag. Yankees took back the lead, 4-2. The rowdy Boston crowd was silenced once again by a big Yankees rally. Pedro plunked A Rod on the next pitch. I thought that was another unclassy move from Pedro. Its one thing to throw a brushback pitch to Matsui, but it's not cool to intentionally try to hurt A Rod, which Pedro obviously did. In a moment of weakness he went after A Rod. He walked Sheffield to load the bases for Matsui. You know Godzilla wanted his revenge against Pedro. He crushed a ball at Nixon, who made another great play to end the rally. The damage was done. The Yankees got to Pedro. Yankees 4, Red Sox 2. Moose took the mound for the sixth. He had been getting ahead of hitters all night long. Aside from the first inning, he pitched solid. Trot lined out to Bernie. Varitek grounded out to A Rod. For the seventh, Moose came back out and gave up a double to Belhorn. Torre pulled Moose after that hit and brought in Sturtze to get a few of the last nine outs and pitch to the top of the order. He got Johnny Damon to pop out, but lost Cabrera and walked him. Torre went with Flash Gordon to get the Yankees out of the seventh. Another classic at bat for Manny Ramirez and Flash Gordon induced a 5-4-3 double play to end the inning. Clutch! Yankees 4, Red Sox 2. The Yankees threatened to put up insurance runs in the eighth. Cairo doubled off the Green Monster. Jeter bunted him over to third. A Rod struck out on a high pitch out of the strike zone. Sheffield walked and Matsui came to the plate. Francona went to his closer Keith Foulke to attempt to get out Goji-san. He ended up flying out. Six outs to go. Flash Gordon hung a fastball over the plate and Ortiz cranked a home run on top of the Green Monster. He cut the lead to one. Millar walked and Dave Roberts came in to pinch run. He irritated Flash to the point where he forgot about Trot Nixon. He eventually ripped a single to center field. With no outs and only ahead by one run, Torre went to the Hammer of God. Although he got Varitek to fly out, it was deep enough to score Roberts. The Sox came from behind again. Mo got the next two guys out to end the ugly inning marred by another atrocious performance from Flash Gordon. Yankees 4, Red Sox 4. Top of the ninth, Boston closer Foulke had a tie game to work with. He got two quick outs before he walked Sierra. Tony Clark roped a shot down the line towards the Pesky pole and after a lucky bounce, the ball jumped into the stand for a ground rule double. An inch or two in either direction, and the ball stays in play and the run easily scores. A fortunate bounce for the Sox kept the game tied. With runners on second and third with two outs, the Yankees looked to their number nine hitter. He popped up to Mientkewicz, who replaced Cowboy Up. Bottom of the ninth and Mo Rivera had the top of the lethal Boston order on his plate. Johnny Damon continued his cluelessness at the plate against Rivera but somehow fought off a pitch and collected a busted bat infield hit on a deep ball to second base. Damon tried to steal second. Tried. Jorge Posada unleashed a bullet to Jeter and quickly tagged Damon in a close play. Cabrera grounded out to Jeter for the second out. It was up to Manny. On a 1-0 pitch both umps blew a check swing call when it was obvious that he swung. It didn't matter. He flied out on the next pitch. Yankees 4, Red Sox 4. Free baseball. For a second night in a row, the Sox came from behind to force extra innings. Both instances I gave the edge to the Yankees. They had all their starters still in the game, while Boston used three bench players to tie Game 5. Plus the Yankees have never lost back to back extra inning games in the postseason. Francona went to Game 3 starter Bronson Arroyo to face the top of the order. Jeter popped up to short. On a full count, A Rod struck out, the Sheffield did the same. At least I had some good news. Monday Night Football started and Marc Bulger tossed a 52 yard TD to Torry Holt on the opening drive of the game. I needed just 15 more points to win! Alas, the inept Felix "I'm only on the team because I'm a lefty" Heredia shuffled to the mound replacing Rivera. I almost expected to see Ortiz smash a game winning home run since I knew that Heredia's control was sketchy, at best. Somehow he got Ortiz 1-2 to check swing at a pitch in the dirt and the third base umpire rung him up. Whew. One down. The game reached its fourth hour for the third consecutive night. These games were brutal for the fans! Do you know how many awful commercials I had to sit through all those extra innings and pitching changes? Heredia battled Mientkewicz to a full count who kept fouling off pitches and all I could think was how the hell did this classic rivalry boil down to a matchup between two scrubs? Mientkewicz smoked a shot to right field over Sheffield's head and the ball bounced into the stands for a one out ground rule double. Sigh. Torre gave Heredia the quick hook and called on last night's goat Paul Quantrill to get them out of the jam. Man the Yankees weren't looking too good. At least instead of another mindless commercial I got to see a 20 yard completion from Bulger. Another point closer to a victory. Back to baseball. Another bench player Gabe Kapler had his chance at Quantrill, the once steady set up guy for Gordon and Rivera. Kapler grounded out to second. It was up to Varitek with Mientkewicz on third. On a 2-1 pitch, he popped up to Jeter. Bring on the 11th inning. I was shocked to see that Arroyo was pulled in favor of lefty Mike Meyers after a perfect 10th. Matsui rocked a home run off him late in Game 3. OK, Matsui struck out and Francona went to his bullpen again! Why? Both Bernie and Posada were switch hitters. Chef Embree to face Bernie who ripped a single to shallow right field. Posada chased a ball and struck out. Sierra had a chance to do something but swung at another pitch out of the strike zone to end the inning. Quantrill gave up consecutive hits before he got Johnny Damon to pop up to Posada on a failed bunt play. Quantrill who had a bum knee for most of the year looked hobbled and Torre went to his bullpen and Estaban Loaiza. The ghost of Jose Contreras loomed over Fenway Park. In late July the Yankees traded their overpaid Cuban super dud to the White Sox for Loaiza who also never pitched well (60 plus hits in 43 innings as a Yankee), nor looked comfortable in pinstripes. Who would have expected Loaiza to pitch out of the jam and get the ground ball double play! If teh yankees were going to win, they needed Loaiza to pitch his best. Wakefield came in to pitch the12th inning as it reached it's fifth hour! With one out, Cairo hit a ball to Manny Ramirez who booted the ball and let it scoot past him. Cairo ended up at second, but the Yankees couldn't get a hit off of Wakefield's knuckle ball. In the bottom of the 12th, Loaiza walked Ortiz. On a 2-1 pitch to Mientkewicz, Ortiz shocked everyone an a stolen base attempt. Posada threw a high ball to Jeter who tagged Ortiz as he barreled into second. Replays showed he was safe by a hair. Again, it was another bang-bang play, but a poor base running choice by Ortiz. He killed a possible rally and Mientkewicz struck out. In the 13th inning, my eyes were tired. I was sick of seeing Fenway Park. I was jonesin' to go gamble because Mohegan Sun casino has an ad plastered in right field! Wakefield struck out Sheffield but the ball raced past the catcher Varitek and Sheffield took first base. Should Mirabelli been catching Wakefield? I didn't care at that point. After a fielder's choice ground ball, Matsui took first. Posada was intentionally walked and it was up to Ruben Sierra to drive home the runners at first and second and two outs. Varitek gave up his third passed ball of the inning and the runners advanced. Wakefield ending up striking out Sierra to end another Yankees rally. More runner left on base in crunch time, 18 in total. That's why the Yankees were in extra innings again. The Red Sox also left 10 runners in scoring position. They could drive home runners. Ugh. Yankees 4, Red Sox 4. Bulger had 147 yards and a TD with a minute left in the second quarter. I was down by 11 points. If he matched his first half stats, I would win out right. Loaiza was still pitching and he got Kapler to line out right back to him. Varitek grounded out to Jeter for the second out. Loaiza was looking solid and retired the side when Bill Mueller flied out to short right field when Matsui and Jeter nearly collided and Godzilla called him off at the last second. That was a close one. Wakefield struck on Tony Clark to lead off the 14th inning. Then he retired both Cairo and Jeter. The 7th inning was almost over in the Houston-St. Louis game. The NFL game was at half time already. The Passion of Johnny Damon drew a one out walk on a boderline pitch. Cabrera looked like a fool when Loaiza blew a pitch by him. My brother commented that he had never seen Loaiza pitch that well, with that much velocity, movement, and zip on the ball. As Snail Trax would say, "pure sickness". He had his chance to shine after behind being designated as the last guy on the end of the bench. He only made the playoff roster because Giambi was still sick from BALCO withdrawl. With Manny at the plate he threw two identical pitches inside, one called for a ball and the other a strike. Either way his pitches were looking sharp. He walked Manny and it was up to Ortiz. He blew a fastball by Ortiz for strike one. Would Big Papi pop one out? Outside and high, ball one. Ortiz fouled off the next five out of six pitches, missing a home run by a few feet on a shot down the left field line that hooked foul. Whew. That was close. On a 2-2 count he blooped a single to center field. Ball game over after almost six hours and 14 innings. Red Sox 5, Yankees 4. Back to the Bronx after the bullpen blew two leads in consecutive nights. | Permalink | Monday, October 18, 2004
Tournament Week, Single Nicky, and Marc Bulger Random NYC poker oddity of the day... I forgot to tell you that a couple of weeks ago I had lunch with my friend Jenna. And afterwards we saw actress Chole Sevigny looking around in the poker books section at the Barnes & Noble near Union Square. Maybe she's brushing up for an upcoming episode of Celebrity Poker Letdown? I'm missing out on a $100 buy in NL tournament at the Blue Parrot tonight hosted by Signor Ferrari. I can't miss the Yankees game, man. I'm willing to sacrifice poker and a shot at a $500 pay day for a Yankees-Red Sox game. Priorities. My online poker playing and blogging time had been cut down this past week. And they'll slow down to a moderate trickle when I go out of town for the week... heading up to Boston, Connecticut, and to Rhode Island. I recently upped my mimimum personal writing time from two hours a day to four. That's a daily discipline I've tried my best to hold myself to for almost two years. I used to have a "write five pages a day" rule but I like the two hours... er, four hour workouts better. I also added two hours of reading time... novels mostly... to my daily routine. It feels good that I cut down on the internet time and TV time and reading endless articles about the upcoming election and dare I say reading my favorite poker blogs and Alexa's blog (my favorite blog from a NYC escort). Alas, I lost 1/6 of my day in order to prepare for a major writing project I'm undertaking next month. Poker Blogger Tournament: Thursday, October 21st at 9pm EST on Poker Stars... $20 buy in Anyway, I funded Derek's Poker Stars account today, so he's good to go. We've never played in a blogger tourney together. We played together in tournaments in Vegas and Foxwoods, but never in a blogger sanctioned event. Visit Iggy's site for more details. I think my friend Jay is going to play and I know that Coach, a Blue Parrot regular and some time contributor to the Tao of Poker, will be playing. I saw his name as one of the 38 players signed up. With 40% of the prize money going to the winner, it's going to be a decent pay out. I'm hoping to make the final table and improve upon my my best ever 3rd place money finish in WBT II when I had a monster chip lead and blew it all. Hilton Sisters Challenge 7 I will be hosting a Hilton Sisters Challenge during the duration of the tournament. Of course if you knock me out with them, I kick your ass. Your mission: You must crack AA with QQ on Poker Stars during the poker bloggers tournament this Thursday. Prizes: The winner gets a cool ty-dyed Phish shirt or a Pauly painting Past Winners: Hilton Sisters Challenge 1: Chris Halverson and Bad Blood Hilton Sisters Challenge 2: No one Hilton Sisters Challenge 3: My brother from Poker in the Weeds Hilton Sisters Challenge 4: Jordan from Hurty Gurty Hilton Sisters Challenge 5 & 6: No one 
My favorite Hilton Sister. And yes, I'm pumped. Nicky is single again. Closing Thoughts Marc Bulger is the man I need to hook me up tonight. I'm down 24 points in my fantasy football league. If Bulger nets 230 yards and 2 TD... then I'll win! The guy I'm playing against is done for the week. Here's the added incentive. My league pays out $100 to the team with the most points every week. My opponent is currently winning with the most points in Week 6... so in one huge game from Bulger... I could scoop the win and the bonus bucks! By the way, my fantasy league is a fourteen teamer with $360 per entry. $2200 goes to first place. Please send out good thoughts to Marc Bulger tonight against the Bucs. Congrats to HDouble for a year of stellar poker blogging. And three cheers to Mr. Decker on being one of the tallest poker bloggers. | Permalink | Pieces of Pauly What did I eat recently? I've been on an Italian binge. One meal included chicken parmigana and angel hair pasta. I also had a healthy serving of rigatoni in a vodka cream sauce with garlic bread on the side. And yes, I also chowed on some cheese tortellini with spicy marinara sauce. All were scrumcious. Should I tell you about the chocolate brownies I ate too? I'm officially addicted to Orange Gatorade. | Permalink | Game 4: Red Sox 6, Yankees 4 The Yankees were one game away from returning to the World Series. Their bats were hot. Their pitching... surprisingly holding up strong. It appeared as though after the first two innings, we might see the first actual pitching duel. Both Derek Lowe and El Duque seemed to have very little trouble with either lineup. Lowe was cruising in the third when he gave up a two out hit to Derek Jeter. On the very next pitch A Rod unloaded once again, knocking his second home run in two nights over the Green Monster onto Lansdowne Street. In one swing of the bat, the Yankees got out to another quick lead 2-0. The only comic relief in two games for the Red Sox came after a fan outside the stadium threw A Rod's ball back onto the playing field. Johnny Damon picked up the ball and fired out of the stadium. Seconds later, the ball came flying back onto the field. Yankees 2, Red Sox 0. El Duque looked sharp striking out five through four and retiring the side in the fourth. He struggled in the fifth when he let two runners on with one out and the slumping Johnny Damon at the plate. He almost got him to ground into a double play, but the speedy Damon beat the throw to first base. Cabrera's weak single to the right side to put the Red Sox on the scoreboard for the first time. El Duque loaded the bases with a walk and David Ortiz lined a two RBI basehit for the first Sox lead of the game and just the second in the entire series. Too bad for El Duque. He was pitching great all night. He struck out Varitek to end the inning, but the damage was done. Red Sox 3, Yankees 2. In the top of the sixth, Matsui continued his hitting tirade with an one out triple over the head of Johnny Damon in deep centerfield. That was his second extra base hit of the night. The Sox pitchers can't get Godzilla out. Manager Terry Francona gave Lowe the quick hook when he went to his bullpen and called upon Chef Timlin. The infield was playing in hoping to throw the runner out at home. Bernie Williams chopped a slow ground ball towards Cabrera who over ran the ball. Matsui scored to tied the game and Williams safely reached first. On a wild pitch, Williams took second. Posada walked. On another ball in the dirt, Willaims raced for third but was thrown out by Varitek in another close play at third. With two outs, Timlin gave up an infield single to Sierra and the Yankees continued another big rally. Mark Belhorn blew a rountine ground ball off the bat of Tony Clark who replaced the injured John Olreud. The runner scored and the Yankees took back the lead. The crowd's energy suddenly disappeared and a sarcastic chant of "Pokey! Pokey!" filled the stadium. The fans were calling for Pokey Reese instead of continuing the inept play of Belhorn. Timlin walked the Yankees number nine batter to load the bases. At that point, you had to question yet another pitching change. Francona should have left Lowe in the game instead an ineffective Timlin who coughed up the lead. Yankees 4, Red Sox 3. Joe Torre lifted EL Duque and called Tanyon Sturtze into the game. Strutze grew up in Worcester and was raised a Red Sox fan. His task was to put them down and hand the lead over to Gordon and Rivera. He did his job and pitched a scoreless sixth. With one out in the seventh, Francona brought his closer Keith Foulke in to pitch to a red hot Matsui. He induced a weak grounder to first, then struck out Bernie Williams to end the inning. The Sox had nine outs left with a less than optimistic crowd supporting them. Strurtze struck out Belhorn who was greeted by a chorus of boos. Eight outs to go. Johnny Damon continued his futility when he grounded out and dropped to a dismal 1 for 17 in the series. Seven outs to go. Cabrera roped a shot to shallow centerfield, but Bernie Williams made a sliding catch to help Sturtze retire the side in order. Bottom of the eighth and Torre wasn't going to fuck around. He brought in the superhuman Mo Rivera for the final six outs. Would the Sox be able to beat up on the Hammer of God? Manny Ramirez squeaked out a base hit on a fastball that Mo hung over the plate. Mo struck out Ortiz. Five outs to go. Vartiek was jammed and grounded out to Tony Clark. Four outs to go and it was Trot Nixon's turn. He also grounded out to first base to end the inning. It was after Midnight. The Sox would be down to their final three outs in the bottom of the ninth, down by a run, on the brink of elimination. The Hammer of God vs. Cowboy Up. The last time those two characters me... Mo Rivera mowed him down. Unfortunately, Mo walked him. In July, Bill Mueller won a game with a walk off home run against Mo Rivera in the infamous brawl game. He had a chance to do the same and keep the Sox hopes alive. The pinch runner Dave Roberts stole second on a close call and good throw from Posada. Mueller singled up the middle to tied the game. Mo blew his first save ever against the Red Sox. Ughh. I really wanted the sweep! Meinkewitz sacrificed the runner to second with a bunt. Johnny Damon hit a weak grounder to Tony Clark at first base and he bobbled the ball allowing the runners to be safe. First and third with one out... it was looking good. Mo struck out Cabrera on three pitches. Two outs and Manny up to bat. Mo walked him to load the bases. It was up to Ortiz. Mo jammed Ortiz and he hit a towering pop up to end the rally. Extra innings, or as they used to say in the South..."Free baseball!" No more Foulke. It was Chef Embree's turn to tame the Yankees bat with the game on the line. After two quick outs, Ruben Sierra gutted out a two out bloop single, but Tony Clark stranded him after a long fly out to Damon. Bottom of the tenth for the Sox. Flash Gordon took the mound for the Yanks. Varitek lined out. Trot grounded out. It was up to Pokey Reese, filling in for Belhorn at second, in his first at bat of the series. The freezing crowd started chanting, "Pokey! Pokey! Pokey!" Too bad Flash struck him out looking. Bring on the 11th inning! Cairo led off the inning with a single aginst Embree. Jeter bunted him over to second. A Rod was looking to drive in the run. Cabrera robbed A Rod of a base hit with diving snag. Two outs with Sheffield up to bat who was intentionally walked to get to Matsui. Mike Meyers walked Matsui on four straight pitches to load the bases and a collective grumbled filled the air at Fenway. Francona went to Chef Leskanic. I liked the Yankees chances with Bernie Williams up and the bases juiced. Alas, Bernie flied out to Damon and the Yankees rally was over. Yankees 4, Red Sox 4. The Sox stranded another runner and Flash Gordon got them through another inning. The game was reaching it's fourth hour and the 12th inning began. I was wondering when the Yankees were going to make their move against a depleted Boston bullpen. I was sleepy and I had a ton to write before I crashed. I wanted to get this game over with! Posada led off the inning with a base hit. Sierra smacked at shot at Leskanic who fired to first base. With Posada on second, Tony Clark flied out to left. The Yankees ninth hitter Miguel Cairo had a chance to give the Yankees the lead but struck out. Aginst Paul Quantrill, Manny led off the bottom of the 12th with a single to left. Then Ortiz smacked a homer into deep right field to end the game and force a game five. After five hours, the Sox finally did something right. Red Sox 6, Yankees 4. The Yankees blew it. Now I'll have to miss a poker tournament at the Blue Parrot on Monday night just to watch the game. | Permalink | Sunday, October 17, 2004
Recent Writing Music Included: 1. The Jerry Garcia Band 2. Greyboy Allstars 3. Sidney Bechet 4. Eric Dolphy 5. Charlie Hunter | Permalink | Game 3: Yankees 19, Red Sox 8 Nothing is more satisfying then watching your hated rival get embarrassed on national TV and exposing them for the overrated slackers they really are. The Yankees impressive offensive outburst obliterated the beleaguered Red Sox, tearing their pitching, their fan's hopes, and their goal of a World Series berth to utter shreds. 
Scoreboard! Last year, Game 4 of the ALC was rained out. This year, yesterday's Game 3 suffered a wash out. Down 2-0 in the series, Boston desperately needed an extra day off to regroup and buy time for their wounded ace Curt Shilling, who's health is still a big question mark. Boston's offense needed to wake up from a deep slumber. The potent line up was held to just one hit in the first six innings of both games. Historically, Kevin Brown never pitched well at Fenway ... and is still not 100% after a broken non-pitching hand and chronic back issues. Would the crisp Autumn New England night air keep him from loosening up properly? Boston sent righty Brandon Arroyo to battle the Yankees who were looking to score early. Sox fans were praying that he pitches a lot better than his hair looks. Just like the first two games, the Yankees got off to a fast start. Jeter led off the game with a walk. It appeared that Arroyo had "Meat Syndrome." He was too busy concerned with "announcing his presence with authority" than throwing strikes. He brazenly threw two inside pitches to Jeter in an attempt to brush him off the plate. All that did was allow himself to fall behind in the count and he walked Jeter. On a 3-2 pitch to A Rod and Jeter running on the play, Arroyo gave up a double down the left field line. On a poor relay throw from Many Ramirez, Jeter scored easily. The Boston crowd was eerily silent for the first pitch to Sheffield. After a deep sacrifice fly to center, A Rod moved up to third. Hideki Matsui had the best career numbers against Arroyo hitting over . 417. He was also destroying the Red Sox all season. That should have been an indication that something was going to happen. Arroyo hung a 1-2 fast ball and Matsui showed the entire Red Sox Nation why in his country, they fondly call him Godzilla. He smashed a long home run into a sea of red and blue in the right field seats and the Yankees took a 3-0 lead. Bernie Williams collected the Yankees third hit of the inning on a grounder through the right side of the infield. Arroyo ran into some luck when Jorge Posada bounced into an inning ending double play. It was just 8:25pm and the Red Sox were down 3-0.  Jeter beats the throw home to score the first run. Even a haircut couldn't help the slumping Johnny Damon. He grounded out to Jeter to lead off the bottom of the first. Brown whiffed Belhorn who aptly led the league in strike outs. Despite a great stop from A Rod, Manny Ramirez legged out an infield hit in a close play at first. On a 3-1 count, David Ortiz rocked a single to right field. Thank God that Manny Ramirez is a dumb shit. He foolishly tried to take third base against one of the best arms in baseball. Sheffield threw a strike to A Rod who tagged Manny for the third out in another bang-bang play. It should have been first and second for the Sox with the Yankees and Kevin Brown on the ropes. Instead, the inning was over and the Yankees held a 3-0 lead. Ruben Sierra led off the second with a double off the Green Monster. I love hearing the combination of the crack of the bat and the clank of rawhide and metal when the Yankees are up to bat. Alas, the Yanks stranded Sierra. After a lead off walk, Kevin Brown served up a home run low and inside fastball to Trot Nixon to keep the game close. Everyone knew that the Sox would eventually start hitting. Bill Mueller doubled to right field. Johnny Damon finally woke up and singled. On a wicked smash towards first, John Olerud deflected the ball past Miguel Cairo who over ran the ball. Mueller, running all the way from second base, scored to tie the game. The ever steady veteran Cairo foolishly threw the ball home, while Damon made a great move continuing to second base. Cairo allowed the runner to advance. On the next play, a rattled Kevin Brown threw a wild pitch and Damon moved over to third. Brown had slowly unraveled over the inning and walked Belhorn. A Derek Jeter rare error allowed`a blown force play at second when Cairo bobbled the throw. Damon scored for the first Boston lead of the series. That errant throw from Cairo a few batters earlier was crucial. The bases should have been loaded... instead the Red Sox took the lead and seized momentum. The Yankees got lucky and only gave up four runs. Who knows what would have happened if Manny Ramirez didn't make the final out in the first inning? The Sox could have tacked on a few more runs. Red Sox 4, Yankees 3. Arroyo gave the lead back up when he served up a chili dog to A Rod in the top of the third. He hung a breaking ball and A Rod knocked the fucker out onto Landsdowne Street with a towering shot over the Green Monster to tie the score at 4-4. The upbeat Boston crowd was silenced once again. Arroyo walked Sheffield. Matsui laced a double to right field, his second extra base hit of the game. With runners on second and third and no outs, the ineffective Arroyo got the hook. Former Yankee Ramiro Mendoza got the nod and quickly gave up an RBI bloop single to Bernie Williams. The Sox fans grumbled and cursed as the Yankees took the lead back. On a freakish play, Mendoza stepped off the rubber and threw a pitch home. It was an obvious balk and the runners advanced. Matsui scored his second run of the night and Bernie Williams moved over to second. Sox manager Terry Francona came out to argue to no avail. Another rollercoaster of emotions for the Boston fans, who sat in bewilderment over the third inning insanity. The dust cleared and the Yankees had the lead once again. Yankees 6, Red Sox 4. Kevin Brown was sent to the showers. Torre called on Javier Vasquez to get the job done. I thought it was a good choice. He was bumped as a possible Game 4 starter in favor of El Duque and now had the opportunity to pitch when the game was on the line. If he could give the Yankees four solid innings, they'd be looking strong. After a lead off single to Varitek, Vasquez struck out Nixon, then gave up a shot of the Monster to Cowboy Up. Mueller walked to load the bases. On a deepfly ball from Cabrera, Sheffield misplayed the ball. Two runners scored to tie. Mueller trucked home for the go ahead run. Bernie Williams picked up the ball. Cairo cut it off and threw a bullet home to Jorge Posada who tagged the runner to get the second out. The Yankees and Vasquez blew the lead. With the game tied, there were two outs and a runner on third. Man, it was just the third inning, both ineffective starters were gone, and the two teams combined for 15 hits and 12 runs! I had a bad feeling this game was going to go way past Midnight. Yankees 6, Red Sox 6. Mendoza carelessly hit the lead off hitter and a perturbed Francona went to his second reliever of the night, Curtis Leskanic. Trot Nixon robbed Jeter of a hit on a sweet snag, when he ropped a shot to shallow right field. After a walk to A Rod when he had him 1-2, Chef Leskanic fell behind in the count to Sheffield and served up a Green Monster home run. There was no doubt that it was gone because he hit it so hard. I have never seen anyone drive the ball with so much power and strength. Shef puts a whopping on the ball. With one swing of the bat, he silenced the crowd. The Yankees took a 9-6 lead. Matsui collected another extra basehit to continue the Yankee rout and his dominance over the Red Sox. Francona lifted an inadequate Leskanic and brought in scheduled Game 4 starter Tim Wakefield to pitch. Ruben Sierra smacked a knuckle ball to right centerfield. Two runs scored and Sierra ended up with a triple. The crowd's spirit had been broken again. Five runs and three hits later, the Yankees broke the game wide open. Yankees 11, Red Sox 6. Vasquez struck out Belhorn and then battled against Manny for thirteen pitches only to walk him. He got out of the inning when Olerud made a snazzy unassisted double play. The saddest thing was watching the Red Sox give up and letting down their rabid fans. There was no more fight left in them. In the top of the fifth inning, Wakefield walked Jeter and A Rod followed with another spirit crushing RBI double into the gap. Jeter scored. A Rod collected his third extra base hit of the night, and reached base all four plate appearances. Sheffield didn't let up the relentless pounding and smacked another hit into right field. A Rod scored his LCS record fifth run in the game. That was the 12th Yankees hit of the night. It was so quiet at Fenway, you could hear a nun fart. At 10:42pm EST, FOX announcer Joe Buck muttered, "This is a nightmare for Red Sox Nation." Yankees 13, Red Sox 6. The blogworthy news about the sixth inning was that Sox retired the Yankees 1-2-3! First time all game. Then ugly got brutal. If I were a Red Sox player, I'd be embarrassed to be blown out like that at home... in the playoffs nonetheless. Sheffield smacked another hit off the Green Monster. Hideki Matsui racked up another RBI double. Bernie Williams hit a record tying two RBI double. Posada followed with another RBI double to deep center. The Yankees set a ALCS record with 17 runs. The score resembled a football game. Yankees 17, Boston 6. In the top of the seventh inning, Varitek jacked a meaningless two run homerun to bring the score to 17-8. A few innings too late, eh? Most of the fans had already began to trickle out and missed the action. The most hilarious graphic FOX showed was that the Yankees 17 runs would have outscored 7 NFL teams last week! My brother commented that the Yanks had more points than the Jets. Matsui crushed his second home run of the night to bring the game to 19-8. Goji-san has been killing the Red Sox. That was his fifth hit and fifth RBI of the night. Yankees 19, Red Sox 8. The Yankees routed the Sox in one of the craziest games I had ever seen. The game length was 4:20! Very few teams in any professional sports have ever come from behind 3-0 to win a series. The Yankees are one win away from the World Series. | Permalink | Saturday, October 16, 2004
Back in the Game! The Tao of Pauly's favorite Hilton Sister is in the process of becoming single once again. Oh yeah! | Permalink | 25 out of 973 I played in my first multi table tournament on Poker Stars and gutted my way to a 25th place finish out of 973 players. I made the prize money! I usually play on Party Poker... which I fully endorse on all my websites. There will be a poker bloggers tournament on Poker Stars on Thursday night... which I will be playing in Rhode Island of all places! I recently downloaded the software and funded my account after I sent cash via a Western Union transfer to a random South America country. It felt good to win on a different site. I actually like Party Poker better... but the last two World Series of Poker Champions qualified and play regularly on Poker Stars... so I might play a tournament every once in a while on there. I had been trying to win my way back into an Aussie satellite in order to try to win an all expenses paid trip to Melbourne, Australia and a seat in the Australian Poker Championships in January. I won two sub-qualifiers this week (one this morning)... and the first place prize paid a free seat in the $70 qualifier. I places a disappointly fifth place in one and I have yet to play the second one. If I win the qualifier, I make it back into the satellite. If I win the satellite, I go to Australia and have a shot at winning over $1 Million Aussie bucks. It sounds confusing... but it's really simple. I have to win at every level to advance to the next level! $10 Sub Qualifier > $70 Qualifier > $600 Aussie Million Satellite > $10,000 Seat in the Australian Poker Championships | Permalink | Saturday Ponies Action swings from Keenland, Kentucky last week to Santa Anita, California today. Last week I had my best weekend of the year, picking winners in 5 out of 6 races... and even picking second place horses in three races! This week, I like... 5th: Ms Mintons Excess, Overkill, and RIng of Friendship 6th: Cheiron, Green Team, Areyoutalkintome 7th: Alphabet Kisses, Western Hemissphere 8th: Excess Summer, Yougottawann 9th: A to Z, Lennyfromalibu, Stage Player 10th: Lunar Flight, Sip One for Mom | Permalink | Last 5 Google Refferals That Made Me Laugh... 1. Catfight hair pulling 2. Bellagio hookers 3. Origin of Zobo drink 4. Slaughtered rabbits 5. Hacking Party Poker If you type any of the above words into Google, my site eventually pops up! | Permalink | Fantasy Pauly Updates Pauly's Pub Pigskin Pick'em Week 5 Update Team(s) of the Week: (Tie) MoshPit Badblood44 and Manny & Ortiz 10-4 Week 5 Results: 1 MoshPit badblood44 10 1 manny and ortiz 10 3 Lovelace Leapsloth 9 3 Austin Drunks 9 3 All My Sweet Bitches 9 6 Twinkle & Turquoise 8 7 Ugarte's Last Stand 7 7 The Brooklyn Embeds 7 7 Oyster Bay Moore 7 7 Shakedown Street 7 7 Running Back Ribs 7 7 Chico's Bail Bonds 7 7 Well T'anks For Nuttin' 7 7 WhereMy NillasAt? 7 7 All In 7 7 Snot Bubbles 7 7 Drunk Norsemen 7 18 Bobby BigBalls 6 18 Punch You in the Eye 6 18 BiG PERM BiG WORM 6 18 AlCantPickEm 6 18 Smokin Ricky 6 18 Coach's Picks 6 24 Uwannabet? . 5 24 Cumberland Blues 5 24 McNamara Entry 5 Overall Results: 1 Well T'anks For Nuttin (Jerry) 46 2 manny and ortiz (Brad Singer) 44 3 Chico's Bail Bonds (Derek) 42 4 All In (Landow) 41 5 Snot Bubbles (Sean Grealis) 40 5 All My Sweet Bitches (Ty) 40 5 The Brooklyn Embeds (G. Shapir) 40 5 Austin Drunks (M. Stephans) 40 5 MoshPit badblood44 (Bad Blood) 40 5 Coach's Picks (Feinberg) 40 11 Smokin Ricky (Senor) 39 11 Lovelace Leapsloth (S. Lovelace) 39 13 Twinkle & Turquoise (Jenna & Haley) 38 13 Ugarte's Last Stand(Charles Star, comedian, esq.) 38 13 Uwannabet? (UWannaBet) 38 13 Oyster Bay Moore ( J. Moore) 38 17 Drunk Norsemen (C. Halverson) 37 17 McNamara Entry (Spider) 37 19 Punch You in the Eye (Pauly 2) 36 20 AlCantPickEm 35 20 BiG PERM BiG WORM (Armen) 35 20 Shakedown Street (Pauly) 35 23 Bobby BigBalls (C. Hardin) 34 24 WhereMy NillasAt? (BG) 33 25 Running Back Ribs (J. Schanzer) 30 25 Cumberland Blues (K. Hungus) 30 The Skinny: What a crazy week. I got whooped again. But Manny & Ortiz and Bad Blood battled to tie for team of the week. Jerry's lead slipped a little but Well T'anks for Nuthin still leads the pool with Manny & Ortiz in second and Chico's Bail Bonds and All In close by. Don't forget to do your picks this week. Grid Iron Week 5 Update Team of the Week: Rib Boy's Latrells 138 Week 5 Results: 1 Rib Boy's Latrells 138 2 The Brooklyn Embeds 132 3 Porkchops & Applesauce 126 4 Robber Barons 124 5 Uncle Jodd's Band 115 6 Mary-Kate's Nosebleed 114 7 Your Enemies Friend 113 8 Trained Professionals 98 Season Results: 1 Rib Boy's Latrells (Derek) 662 2 Uncle Jodd's Band (Senor & Pauly) 658 3 The Brooklyn Embeds (Gil) 646 4 Mary-Kate's Nosebleed (Pauly) 638 5 Porkchops & Applesauce (J. Moore) 595 6 Trained Professional (Boy Genius) 593 7 Robber Barons (Armen) 579 8 Your Enemies Friend (Spider) 566 The Skinny: Rib Boy's Latrells is in the top spot after winning team of the week and knocking out Uncle Jodd's Band despite a monster week from Marc Bulger. The Brooklyn Embeds moved into third overall after a solid week. Pauly's Pub College Football Pool - Week 6 Update Team of the Week: Muff State Pie Boys! Week 6 Standings: 1 Muff State Pie Boys 45 2 Sheer Entry 40 3 AlCantHang 37 3 Chico's Bail Bonds 37 5 Austin Drunks 36 6 WhatyaTalkin AboutWillis? 35 8 Landow 32 8 Killer Gophers 21 Overall Standings: 1 Chico's Bail Bonds (Derek) 264 2 AlCantHang 261 3 Austin Drunks 260 4 WhatyaTalkin AboutWillis? (Pauly) 252 5 Sheer Entry (Senor) 227 6 The Venetian Blinds (Poker Nerd) 221 7 Ugarte's Last Stand (Charles Star, comedian esq.) 188 8 Landow 185 9 Muff State Pie Boys (Spider) 169 10 Killer Gophers (Halverson) 164 11 Porkchops & Apple Sauce (Joe Moore) 145 12 Buckeye! (Ferrari) 124 The skinny: Another tough week... during big game week! Spider and Muff State Pie Boys kicked ass. Derek and Chico's Bailbonds are leading it all with AlCantHang and Austin Drunks not far behind. Don't forget to do your picks. | Permalink | Friday, October 15, 2004
Happy Birthday Derek! Today is my brother's birthday. Go read his poker blog: Poker in the Weeds. Hopefully the Yankees can pull a win out for his bday! | Permalink | The Formula The Poker Geek directed a film called The Formula. Here's what his bio says it's all about... four Star Wars geeks attempting to make their own cinematic addition to the Star Wars universe. Made for 2,500 dollars, the film has been celebrated at multiple film festivals and conventions, and has been downloaded online (for free!) over 2 million times, thus making it more viewed than Gigli.Just visit the link to download the flick for yourself. Make sure you get the Director's Cut. And you all you lazy fucks with short attention spans out there, here's the trailer. Enjoy. | Permalink | Thursday, October 14, 2004
Last 5 Books I Saw People Reading on the Subway... 1. The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra 2. The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck 3. Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom 4. The Holy Bible 5. Flood Tide by Clive Cussler | Permalink | Game 2: Yankees 3, Red Sox 1 By the way, I like the Cardinals in 7 games over the Houston Astros. I paid $200 for two upper deck seats to Game 2 of the Yankees-Twins series. They were asking $500 for a pair of Game 2 ALCS tickets. I thought about it... I could've cashed out a chunk of my Party Poker account to cover the buy. At the last minute I decided against it. Bobby Murcer, former player and current NY Yankees announcer, threw out the first pitch. Before the game everyone got wind of the Curt Shilling Ankle Update. Honestly, I think it's just a distraction. Going into the game, the Yankees need to focus on one thing... getting to Pedro Martinez early. John Leiber loves pitching at home compiling an 11-3 record this season. He worked an efficient first inning. Pedro walked Jeter on four pitches. He stole second on the first pitch to A Rod, who reached first base when Pedro hit him on a pitch up and in. He was throwing hard but missing the strike zone. The rowdy Bronx fans started in with the now infamous "Who's your Daddy?" chant. Gary Sheffield singled to score Jeter. Pedro was too jacked up. Varitek took several trips to the mound to calm him down. At one point it looked like he stopped giving signs and let Pedro throw what he wanted. That seemed to work. Pedro worked out of a tough jam in an already hostile environment. I called my mother to remind her that the game was on channel 5. "I fuckin' hate that Pedro Martinez!" she said. John Leiber worked an efficient second inning. Pedro issued a one out walk to Miguel Cairo and I wondered why Torre didn't play Enrique Wilson who has insane career numbers against his friend. Pedro gave up a single to Kenny Lofton which got the crowd chanting "Who's your Daddy?" once again. With two outs Pedro seemed too concerned with Kenny Lofton on first base than worrying about pitching to A Rod. He did that cheesy fake to third-fake to first move than never works. It just draws more ire from the crowd. It didn't matter, Pedro mowed down A Rod for his third strikeout, stranding another runner in scoring position. I sported the Johnny Damon Look back in 1998. My hair was actually longer too. He's far behind the times. Lieber gave up a leadoff hit to Nomar's replacement, that Cabrera guy and retired the next three Sox. Pedro settled down and came back with an efficient third. Lieber matched him with three up and three down and the game time picked up some speed. All I could think about was how much I miss Summer from The OC. Pedro relinquished a lead off walk to Posada and the chants of "Who's your Daddy?" stirred around the crowd once again. Pedro hung tough and quieted the crowd. He closed out the fourth with his fourth strikeout of the night. I almost forgot the debate was on and flipped to one of the alphabet news channels. Bush was muttering and stuttering around health care. And Kerry bullshitted for his three minutes. Bored, I switched to a Spanish soap opera instead, where some scantly clad, big chested, dyed blonde was trying to seduce the cable guy. John Leiber was pitching well with a skecthy offensive output from his team. Was I worried? Yeah. He picked up another one-two-three inning and retired his ninth consecutive Red Sox hitter. By the time the fifth inning came around, FOX showed some of the celebrities. Ben Affleck couldn't make the game and his brother Casey acted as Matt Damon's sidekick for the night. Pedro was facing the top of the order looking the strongest he's pitched all night. He solved whatever control problems he had in the first inning. The Yanks needed to tag on a run or two. A Rod picked up an infield hit... and the "Who's your Daddy?" chants woke up the crowd. Sheffield was already 1 for 2 against Pedro. Who gives a shit about John Kerry and health care? Those idiots watching the debate in the rest of America was missing out on the greatest and most historic rivalry in all of professional sports. Sheffield battled in a lengthy at bat only to get struck out by Pedro. He got out of the inning and through the first five, it was apparent that we were witnessing old fashioned October pitching duel in the Bronx. Pedro struck out six Yankees and Leiber was throwing a one hitter in another classic game. Johnny Damon is a weird guy. Senor's a huge Red Sox fan and told me about a story in the Boston papers about Damon's off season work out. He supposedly sat on his front porch and every time a car passed by... he'd run after it. Go get 'em Jawwwwnie Dayyy-min! Anyway, he battled Leiber in a sixteen pitch at bat in the toughest match up for Leiber all night long. He eventually got Damon to hit a weak fly ball to shallow centerfield. He retired the side, twelve consecutive batters overall, and on cruising in one of his strongest performances of the season. Cut to: Pitching coach picking up the phone in the Boston dugout. Cut to: Chef Timlin warming up the BBQ in the Boston bullpen. Sharks smell blood miles away. With one out, Pedro walked Posada for a second time. Then on a 1-2 pitch, his 106th of the game, Pedro Mahhhhh-teen-essss hung a fastball inside to John Olerud. The Yankees first baseman crushed a home run to the short right field porch. Before the ball landed, the crowd started chanting the loudest version of "Who's your Daddy?" of the night. Pedro should've kept his mouth shut. Giving the NY fans fodder to feed on is like tossing a bag full of crack to a bunch of jonesin' pipeheads. Last time Pedro faced the Yankees in Game 7 of the 2003 ALCS, he served up two chili dogs to Yankees first baseman Jason Giambi. Yankees 3, Red Sox 0. Leiber shut down the Sox for the first six innings in a performance almost matching Mussina's perfect 6 1/3 innings. After giving up only the second hit of the night, he induced Cowboy Up to hit into a double play. Smooth. He looked smooth all night. Pedro was pulled after six innings. He scattered four hits and struck out seven. The Yankees put two runners on after hits from Sheffield and Matsui but Bernie stranded both to end the inning. After a lead off single in the top of the eighth, Torre lifted Leiber and the fans greeted the game two starter with a standing ovation as he walked to the dugout. He out pitched Pedro Martinez. Flash Gordon took to the mound and ran Varitek to a full count before he doubled to right field. The Sox were threating the Yankees for the first time all night with runners on second and third with no outs. Yanks sacrificed a run for an out with a ground ball to Jeter. One out, runner on second, Flash faced Bill Meuller who's never gotten a hit off of him in three career at bats. Luckily Meuller hit a weak grounder to second base. Two outs, runner on third. Torre made the move. He took Gordon out and gave the ball to Mo Rivera for the final four outs.  The Hammer of God Enter Sandman began playing and a thunderous applause greeted Rivera as he jogged out of the bullpen. Johnny Damon is a career .200 hitter against Mo and was way out in front of his first few pitches. He struck him out to end the inning. Three more outs to go for Mo. Yankees 3, Red Sox 1. Yanks loaded the bases against Sox closer Keith Foulke. Two outs and the bases were juiced for A Rod, looking for his fourth hit of the series. With a full count, A Rod flied out, failing to bust the game wide open. It was all up to Mo. Bellhorn squibbed a weak ground out to first base. One down, two to go. Mo got Manny behind 0-2 in the count before he laced a shot to Death Valley. The Sox were looking strong. Runner on second with one of the best players in the league at bat looking to take Mo deep to tie the game. Quickly, Mo was ahead 0-2. And then blew a cutter by Oritz. Two outs, one to go. Cowboy Up vs. The Hammer of God. First pitch... strike one. Second pitch... check swing. Ball one. Third pitch... bad swing. Strike two. Fourth pitch... broken bat, foul ball. Down one game with their best pitchers beaten, with two outs in the top of the ninth, the last chance for Boston to leave New York with any sort of dignity came to front. Mo brought the heater and sealed his 32nd career postseason save with a strikeout. Have a seat, Cowboy Down! It was a final. Yankees 3, Red Sox 1. Yanks lead the series 2-0. John Leiber was the X factor in game 2. He's been hot. He was 5-0 in September and picthed two solid post season starts. Wish I could write more, but I'm pressed for time. | Permalink | Happy Birthday Bruce! The Grateful Dead Guru is having a birthday today. Hope it's a good one! | Permalink | Wednesday, October 13, 2004
Game 1: Yankees 10, Red Sox 7 Everyone in New York was well aware that Mariano Rivera was in Panama burying his cousins after a freak accident at his house last Saturday. Some of you might not know but his nickname among his teammates is "Hammer of God". Even Mo Rivera openly admits that God spoke to him on the mound during a game against the Braves in 1999. That must have been an interesting conversation because Mo has racked up over 250 saves since that moment. I wondered if his teammates would pick up the slack and insure that Mo would not have to pitch in Game 1. Sure everyone had faith that he'd be ready to play... but no one wanted to thrust that responsibility on his shoulders. By the time the game started, he still had yet to arrive in New York City. He was caught in traffic on the George Washington Bridge even with a police escort. When he showed up at the bullpen at 9:53pm, the entire stadium greeted him with a rowdy cheer of "Mariano! Mariano!" One by one his teammates in the bullpen stopped to give him hugs and welcome him back. That was a good thing. The Yankees would need the Hammer of God to seal a game one victory. The media hype kills me. The ESPN pundits hate the Yankees. Boston and New York fans don't need a cheesy intro from FOX to get everyone fired up for the game. The ad wizards over at FOX were trying to incite all those non-Yankee fans out there in America to waste their time watching the greatest rivalry in all of sports, splicing poorly cut footage of George Lucas' Star Wars films in a parody of Good vs. Evil. The Yankees were depicted as the bad, evil Empire.... while the unkempt Red Sox portrayed as the good guys... the rebels with a cause. They tried to hype up the brawl from earlier this summer. Real baseball fans don't need Darth Vader to tell them that these games are important. Oh, well. The suits over at FOX were drooling over the matchup and I was happy that I didn't have to listen to Joe Morgan poorly announce another Yankees game. Yogi Berra threw out the first pitch. No other living baseball player has more World Series rings. Yankees starting Mike Mussina struck out the first batter Johnny Damon before retiring the side. The key to any Yankees victory this past season was to get out to a fast start. Sure they have more come from behind wins than any other team in baseball, but against the Sox you have to score first and often. It was evident from the first few pitches that Boston starter Curt Shilling was not looking sharp in his attempt to shut 55,000 Yankees fans up. With two outs the Yankees MVP Gary Sheffield smoked a double to left field. Hideki Matsui followed with an RBI double and Bernie Williams' single knocked home Matsui. Yankees 2, Red Sox 0 after Shilling gave up three consecutive two out hits. In the bottom of the third, Shilling had to face the top of the order. After giving up singles to Jeter and A Rod, he walked Sheffield, setting up a bases loaded situation for Goji-san... Hideki Matsui. I've noticed that Matsui tends to play well in big games... especially against the Mets and the Red Sox. Unfortunately, he has a better knowledge of baseball history than most American ball players. He understands the significance of Yankees-Red Sox games especially when he smoked a bases clearly double down the right field line. After a Jorge Posada sacrifice fly, the Yankees had a 6-0 lead while loud shouts and taunts of "Who's your Daddy?" rained down from the crowd. Good job, Pedro. Way to give the Hooligans in the Bronx more material to work with! I hate big leads early in baseball playoff games but Moose was on fire. I had not seen him pitch this well since he took a perfect game into the ninth inning at Fenway in September of 2001. By the middle of the fourth inning, Moose had five strikeouts, including Damon for a second time and striking out every batter Boston sent to the plate that inning. By the bottom of the sixth, everyone was aware that Moose was pitching a perfect game. All the pundits were hyping up Boston's starters... and the quiet and often aloof Mussina was overlooked. I was still worried. An six run lead on the Sox is nothing with their potent lineup. I was happy to see the Yankees add two insurance runs against Tim Wakefield. Kenny Lofton hit a solo homerun into the short right field porch off. Matsui racked up his fifth RBI of the night when he singled home Sheffield and tied six other players for most RBIs in the ALCS. Matsui came up big at the plate once again. Yankees 8, Red Sox 0. There's a fine line between perfection and misery in pitching. One second Moose seemed unhittable and the next moment he looked like he was pitching batting practice. He opened the top of the seventh inning with his third strike out of Johnny Damon, who's looking more like some dude I scored hash from at a Phish show than the centerfielder of the Red Sox. Three times? That's an impressive feat since Damon only struck out 74 times in 150 games this year. Then Moose lost his concentration when he gave up a deep double to Mark Belhorn. During the postgame, Ex-Yankee catcher and analyst Joe Giradi said that managers sometime take pitchers out of games right away after they lose a bid for a perfect game or no hitter... because the pitchers suffer from mental exhaustion trying to maintain a hyper level of perfection. The poker term is called tilt. Moose was on tilt right after that double. He got a second out, but then couldn't get anyone else out. Matsui misplayed a ball in left field and two runs scored. Torre called on a hot Tanyon Sturtze to come out of the pen and he quickly served up a chili dog to Jason Varitek who homered into the bleachers. Perfect Game gone. No hitter gone. Eight run lead gone. Yankees 8, Red Sox 5. How important were those extra runs from Lofton and Matsui? Flash Gordon came out to pitch the Yankees 8th. He had a freak accident in Minnesota when a champagne cork hit him in the eye and was suffering from blurry vision. Not what the Yankees bullpen needed especially after Mo Rivera's recent tragedy. Blurry Flash gave up an infield single and got the next two batters out (including an atrocious fourth strikeout from Johnny Damon... can you say Golden Somberro?) before Manny Ramirez singled. First and third, two out with Ortiz up. I think any other time Torre would have gone with Mo Rivera. He wanted to save him for just the ninth because he really did not know what mindset he's be pitching with. Was it a questionable move? Sure, but not as shaddy as some of the pitching changes Francona had been making. I would have brought out Mo to pitch to Manny. Alas, Flash Gordon served up a shot to deep center and Matsui over ran the ball to let two more runners score. The Red Sox fought back and pulled to within one run. That was enough for Torre. He took Gordon out and Enter Sandman starting playing over the loudspeakers. Even sitting at home I get goosebumps. Behold... the Hammer of God entered the game. He got Cowboy Up Millar to pop up and end the inning. Yankees 8, Red Sox 7. Jerry called me from Miami all worried. He needed reassurance. "We got the top of the order up with a lead and Mo pitching. We're looking good. Have faith!" I told him. Plus I knew Terry Francona was a subpar manager often making mistakes late in games. "Why did he bring in Timlin to pitch?" is something all of Boston talk radio is bemoaning this morning, even though those extra runs didn't matter. Timlin gave up two hits before Bernie Williams doubled in two more runs. Bernie is slowly racking up monster postseason stats. Before the game started he had 113 postseason hits in 109 games with 20 HRs. You can't argue with those numbers. Granted Mickey Mantle hit 18 HRs in 59 World Series games... but whenever you pass guys like Mantle, DiMaggio, and Ruth on an alltime list... you're doing something right. Yankees 10, Red Sox 8. The top of the ninth was a gut wrencher. With one out, Mo gave up consecutive hits. I took a deep breath when Bill Meuller hit a comebacker to Mo. He whirled around a fired to second base... just like he did in Game 7 of the 2001 World Series in Arizona... this time Jeter picked it out of the air and tossed it over to first base to complete the game ending double play. In a close one, the Yankees pulled out a victory. Mastui and Williams combined for 8 RBIs, Moose flirted with perfection, and the Hammer of God put the Yankees just three wins away from returning to the World Series. Check out my favorite basbeall blogger Aaron Gleeman's impartial take on of last night's game called The Almost Comeback. Here's a bit: This postseason has already featured a ton of "interesting" bullpen usage patterns and managerial decisions, and last night was no exception. I can't really fault Joe Torre for leaving Tom Gordon in for a batter too long in the eighth, because Gordon has been exceptional this year, but did anyone else think the way Terry Francona handled things in the late innings was very weird?The Boston Globe has great coverage including a piece called An Opening Night Shortfall. Here's a bit: Tracing the tracks of their tears back to the ballpark in the Bronx where all the horrible things happened last October, the Red Sox returned to the American League Championship Series last night, fell behind, 8-0, then rallied mightily before again succumbing to the Yankees, 10-7. Sox ace Curt Schilling, unbeatable most of the season, appeared to be suffering the effects of an ankle injury and was cuffed around for six hits and six runs in three innings, his shortest outing of the season. Meanwhile, Yankee starter Mike Mussina befuddled the vaunted Boston lineup for six-plus innings, retiring the first 19 batters he faced before giving up three runs on four hits in the seventh.And the NY Daily News has plenty of pro-Yankees articles like Yanks Win on a Wing, Prayer. Here's a bit: But things are never this simple in Yankees-Red Sox. Can't be. Boston turned an apparent blowout into more tense, more complex baseball, scoring seven times over the seventh and eighth innings. The Bosox put the tying run on third in the eighth, bringing in Rivera, who despite having his lead extended to three runs, faced the tying run in the ninth.It's good to read stories from both sides of the rivalry. And lastly, Larry Mahnken's article in The Hardball Times was solid: A Win Is a Win. Here's some of that: Coming into this series, the Red Sox have been favored by many because they won the season series, they had time to set their rotation, and their roster was judged as superior to New York's by many, many analysts. Boston may well be the better team, and they well may triumph in this series, but it's easy to oversimplify this series, and forget that for the most part these teams played each other very, very evenly. In a game where lesser teams defeat superior teams in a short series fairly regularly, predicting victory for one of these teams is an exercise in futility.I must admit that "Who's your Daddy?" is pretty catchy. I wondered how loud it will sound tonight when Pedro takes the mound for Game 2? You have to check out Hollyweird's favorite poker blogger... Chicks Dig Poker Geeks. The Poker Geek posted a picture just for me. Thanks, buddy. | Permalink | Tuesday, October 12, 2004
The Real Jury Duty Tales Day 1... Monday There's a reason why no one wants to do jury duty in NYC. I overhead one woman put it best, "I'd rather be at work than here and I hate my job!" The Bronx courthouse is on the other side of the borough. I had to either take a bus or a bus and a subway. Either way, it wasn't close. I sat on the Bx1 bus which let me out in front of the courthouse. Along the way, I had to sit on a crowded city bus for forty-three minutes which weaved its way in and out of different neighborhood representing people from all over the political and socioeconomic spectrum. The signs of poverty and plight don't sneak up on you. Rather, it's in your face. The Bronx is the poorest section of New York City. Minorities represent 90% of the population. More single mothers live in the South Bronx than nay other single concentrated area in America. Outside of Miami Dade County, no other area has more Hispanic people East of the Mississippi. With under funded schools, majority of its residents on welfare, and stuck in a bastion of no hope... crime runs rampant. No wonder no one wants to do jury duty. And not one person was going to vote for Bush in those parts. I figured they wouldn't even vote for Kerry either. To them... it's the same white, rich guy. A vote for them isn't going to change their lives. Lets face it, more South Bronx boys and girls who enlisted in the military got sent home in body bags from Iraq and Afghanistan than in all those posh suburban communities like Greenwich, Oyster Bay, and Chevy Chase combined. Poor kids fight rich men's wars. Its been happening since armed conflicts began eons ago. I grabbed a donut and Orange Gatorade and three newspapers before I wandered inside the well crafted white marble structure. With Yankee Stadium three blocks away, the only other majestic piece of architecture in the area was the courthouse. All jurors had to go through a long, tedious security line... just like at an airport with metal detectors and X-ray machines... with the sole exception that every security person was armed. I went upstairs to Room 212. Rectangular in shape, the narrow room was the length of a football field with rows of eight seats lining both sides, split by a long aisle of poles and TV screens hoisted fifteen feet in the air. Vending machines lined the back wall of the room. I found a seat alongside the far wall, near the windows. Nearly everyone was flipping through a newspaper, magazine or best seller. Sadness loomed over everyone heads. One girl in my row kept fidgeting. She would not stop moving around in her seat and moving her leg up and down. It was annoying just sitting there knowing she sat in my section. The main dude at the front counter barked a message over the loudspeaker. He told everyone who claimed they did not speak English to go to the back of the room and turn in their juror cards. A woman repeated his message in Spanish. He warned them that if they were lying... the courts will find out. They intended to grill their employers and family members. If they were caught lying about speaking English, they'd be fined $500 and worse... scheduled to do jury duty during Christmas week. They already nabbed 170 liars and were looking to add more. A swarm of non-English jurors ran to the back of the room. Some were willing to take that risk. They wanted to get the hell out of the jury room at all costs. After a few minutes, they aired a bad video on the TV screens. I almost expected to see Troy McClure from The Simpsons lore start talking. "Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You might remember me from such videos as 'Welcome to the DMV'. You've been selected for jury duty. Welcome!" The video was aimed towards fifth graders. I was insulted. I was bored. I should have started drinking at 8am. Then I realized that the majority of jurors aren't the sharpest tacks in the drawer. They needed the explanation. I looked around. Arrogance? Who knows. But I felt I was the smartest person in the room. Well, not that smart. I wasn't able to get myself out of this mess. I read all three NYC newspapers, starting off with the NY Times and working my way down the literary ladder to the Daily News and then the paltry NY Post. I opened up Wil Wheaton's latest book and started reading. Every few moments, the guy on the microphone would call a list of names. Looking for the Irish sounding name in a group of Hispanic names was easy. When they got to Martinez I'd perk up and pay attention. After the got to the Ns, I went back to my book. At 11:00am I was called with 39 other names. Dead man walking. I was relieved and irked. I didn't have to sit with the peanut gallery anymore but I was going to be inside a court room, something I was not looking forward too. Thank God I didn't start drinking at 8am. The six floor courtroom was very small. Only three rows of long church style pews were crammed in the back. A table of lawyers and defendants sat to the right. The judge and the court reporter were in the middle underneath the ominous seal of the State of New York. To the right was the DA and to his left were the jury seats. I glanced out the window and I was astonished to see Yankee Stadium's outfield! It was an amazing view. Stuck in the crowded seats, the bailiff called up fourteen names. We were told to sit in the seats. I was the seventh name called. I took a deep breath and sat in the jury box. I was one of two white males. The other guy was a cop. Half were men, the other half were women. The judge got up and gave an impassioned speech about the responsibility of being a juror on a murder case. He told us that the prosecution would not be seeking the death penalty, but it was still an important case. He told us that although the American justice system is flawed and not perfect... yet it still reigns as the best and most partial in all of the world. I felt as though he made eye contact with me more than any of the other jurors. Perhaps he was trying to address a future foreman. At that point he introduced the Prosecutor. The assistant DA who was a white guy in a cheap suit who made 35K a year. In the far corner, they're were two young Hispanic men... the accused. They each had a lawyer. One lawyer was a one of the sharp looking sharks other wise known as a criminal attorney with a finely tailored pinstripe suit and a shiny Rolex. The other lawyer wore an off the rack ugly brown suit. He looked like Danny DeVito. He looked like he just got up. The judged asked the jurors to tell a little bit about themselves. I was a little nervous because the court reporter was recording everything everyone said. Juror 1 was a Haitian woman with two kids from Soundview. She managed maids at a Manhattan hotel. Juror 2 was a Hispanic guy from Kingsbridge with three kids. He worked at Cablevision. Juror 3 was a black guy from Norwood. He was a physical therapist with twins. Juror 4 was a white cop from Co-op City. He had three kids. Juror 5 was a black woman, a cop with a kid. The judge joked that he had never seen two cops get picked for the same case... and sit next to each other! They didn't know each other. Juror 6 was a white woman, the wife of a cop and mother of three from Throgs Neck. I was Juror 7. "I live in Riverdale. Single, with no kids. I'm a novelist and screenwriter." The rest of the other jurors not picked shuffled to get a good look at me. Even both defendants took their time to give me a look over. Have you ever been clocked by two dudes accused of murder? I was as uncomfortable as a hooker in church. To make matters worse the judge made some smart remark. "Mr. McGrupp, you know that you will not be required to do your own research for the trial. I can't have jurors running around cracking the case like they do in those Hollywood movies." He paused to allow everyone to chuckle. "But if you do write this up, make sure they get someone handsome to play me." "Of course, you Honor." More laughs. Even the defendants smiled before resuming their stoic blank stares. For the next two hours three lawyers grilled all of us in the jury box. The Prosecution seemed to asked me the most questions. "Mr. McGrupp, if I told you that we were unable to produce a murder weapon would you still be able to weigh the facts of the case and give a guilty verdict?" Then the defendants' lawyers got up one by one. The shark was a grade A asshole. He spoke down to all the jurors like we were six year olds. He trashed the Prosecutor. If there were cameras there, I'm sure he'd ham it up even more. I didn't like him from the first second I saw him and the way he goaded me into making a comment he wanted to hear pissed me off some more. "Mr. McGrupp can you distinguish the difference betting being falsely accused and being mistakenly accused?" Of course. I can tell the difference between an asshole and a jerkoff. With sheer disdain, I always gave the lawyers lengthy answers, avoiding the simple cut and dry, "Yes" or "No" answers everyone else seemed to give. I was trying to show them that I was not a sheep and they'd have to bring their best bullshit to sneak a fastball by me. The Danny DeVito lawyer was a little nicer, but equally as scummy. Chances are those kids killed a guy and he was trying to blow off the severity of the case... treating it more like a purse snatching than a homicide. He grilled everyone and again, he seemed to ask me the most questions. "Mr. McGrupp have you ever been in a fistfight before?" The saddest thing was that this case happened in July 2001. It was backlogged for over three years. I dunno what was worse. Knowing that the system is slanted against poor people and minorities? Or knowing that as a poker player, I could pick up on the body language of the criminal attorneys and the defendants. I was sick to my stomach because I was getting the vibes that they were guilty even though they were dressed in suits and trying to act innocent. I did not want to be picked for the case. The judge sent us to the jury room for twenty minutes. I stared out the window at Yankee Stadium eagerly awaiting the playoffs to begin. I chatted with the cop. He said, "You and me are not getting picked. No way the defense wants the white cop and the smart guy on sitting on the jury." I hopped he was right. Twenty minutes later, we were called back inside and the Judge said that they already had several jurors selected and they were going to pick three from my group. Of course they picked the three people who said the least amount of stuff. All three were minorities and two of them were women. The judged excused us to lunch. It was almost ten minutes before 2pm and he said we had until 3pm to report to the jury room. I ran outside and missed the lunch rush. I got a seat the Courthouse Diner right behind a group of Fox Sports workers. They were covering the upcoming Yankees-Twins game and were on their lunch break. I ate a bacon cheeseburger and fries with an iced tea with lemon. Bill was $10 including tip. I had 45 minutes left on my break and wandered over to the Yankee Tavern, one block from the stadium. I sat down at the bar and a cute blonde in her 30s wearing a tank top and camouflage pants spoke to me in a slight Southern accent. I ordered a Stella Artois and began scribbling down notes in my pad. She chatted with the regulars... old guys in Yankee hats complaining about Kerry and Bush and all things related to Martha Stewart. I downed another pint after she convinced me with her sweat twang, "Another beer?" Bill was $10 including tip. I got back upstairs at 2:58pm. The room was half empty. I sat down and read the rest of Wil's book. At 3:30pm the guy on the microphone told us to go home and come back at 9:30am. I ran out of the courthouse, the second person out the front door as I whizzed by the court officers at the X-ray machines. First day done. I was getting paid $40 a day for jury service. I spent almost $30 on food, drinks, transportation and newspapers. At least I was up $10 for the day. Day 2... Tuesday I got to sleep in a little later, but ut I realized I was getting sicker and my health as not improving as I had hoped. It was freezing when I woke up... the coldest day since the Winter. I took the bus to the subway and rode the subway to the Yankee Stadium stop. I saved 10 minutes and spent that time outside eating donuts and reading the NY Times. I saw the fidgeting girl again, that time avoiding her row. I picked a seat near the window and read the rest of the tabloid newspapers. I did not get to finish Wil's book the day before and started the final pages. I looked up and a smoking hot Puerto Rican girl sat down next to me. She resembled Jessica Alba with once exception... Jessica was in Hollyweird somewhere, and the look alike was sitting right next to me. I wanted to slowly peel her clothes off with my teeth. "Did you get called yesterday?" She rolled her eyes. "I fuckin' got called for a murder case!" I love NYC women. The second word that rolled off of her pouty lips was a derivative of "fuck". Hot damn! "We got called for the same case. I didn't get picked. You did. Aren't you that screenwriter?" She remembered me! How could I have missed her? I guess I was so nervous that morning I failed to notice that she was part of my group. "You were funny. Those fuckin' lawyers were talking down to everyone. And you were snapping back at them. I guess you weren't picked, huh?" I shook my head. "Whatya reading?" I flashed her Wil's book. She paused for a second as I handed it to her. She looked at the back cover and thumbed through the pages for a few seconds. "Isn't that the kid from Stand By Me?" "Yep." "He's cute. I used to have a huge crush on him." Wil's got groupies in the Bronx. I chuckled then blurted out, "I always though River Phoenix was dreamy." She laughed right away, even touching my arm twice before she handed the book to back to me. We spoke for the next ninety minutes. About what I can't recall. I was staring at her tits the entire time, well most of the time. I poorly attempting to look her in the eye every now and then to let her know I wasn't a complete pervert. At 11:10am my jury duty crush got called. I would never see her again. She also stole my Wil Wheaton book. By 11:15 I started dozing off. The next hour was a battle. I would be asleep for a few minutes then wake up when I heard a list of names called. When he got through all the Ms... I'd close my eyes and doze back off. I found a cure for my insomnia... jury duty. The guy with the microphone excused us to lunch at 12:30am. We had ninety minutes. Again, I scurried out of the courthouse like a little kid bolting out of school at 3pm. I ran down the stairs, past the security officers and down the white marble steps onto 161st Street. With Yankee Stadium looming overhead, I wandered over to a fast food joint with no lines. I walked up to the counter and ordered a Spicy Tender chicken sandwich and an iced tea. With 75 minutes left in my break, I walked back over to the Yankee Tavern. Before I could take two steps in the bar, the blonde bartender shouted, "A pint of Stella?" She remembered me too. "Please. What's your name?" "Ally. Like Ally McBeal." "You're not from here. From the South, right? North Carolina?" Her eyes perked up as she poured me my draft beer. "How did you know?" "The subtle accent. Southern but not pronounced. Asheville perhaps?" That was a guess. She dressed like the bohemian type and looked like the actress Laura Liney's funked out younger sister. "Charlotte originally, but Asheville for two years." "Great. I miss the South. Used to live in Atlanta for four years in the early 1990s." "Really? Me too. Where?" "I went to Emory, so over near there. What bars did you work at?" "Did you know that er, um.... 24K place?" 24K was a strip club. I spent many a night there in my late teens. "Sure on Cheshire Bridge Road near the Waffle House. Been there. I always liked Cheetah better." "That's it!" Small world, eh? She used to bartend at the strip bar I used to hit with my fraternity brothers. A decade later we're at a bar in the Bronx. She's getting me drunk and I was watching the Dodgers and Cardinals baseball game. When I stumbled back into the jury room, all of the TVs had the baseball game on. I sat for two and half hours before without getting called. When the guy with the microphone excused us for the day, I ran back out and headed to the Yankee Tavern for one more drink before I rode the subway home. Yankees fans were beginning to fill up the bar. Game 1 was set to begin in a few hours. I spent $32 on day 2. I made at least $8. Last 5 Books I Saw People Reading at Jury Duty... 1. The Holy Bible 2. The Heart by Maya Angelou 3. Cry, Beloved Country by Alan Paton 4. Whispers by Dean Koontz 5. The President's Daughter by Mariah Stewart | Permalink | Monday, October 11, 2004
Tales of Jury Duty and Other Useless Things I'm finally healthy after a week and a half of gutting out an upper respiratory infection. I lost my voice for a few days. Everyone that I spoke to quickly told me I sounded awful. One adorable sex kitten (name withheld for legal reasons) offered to make me chicken soup. Ah, I love groupies. It's not everyday a beautiful woman offers to make you soup. OK, let's not destroy this fantasy here... I know she probably bought it from a deli or warmed up some Campbell's, which would have been better since she actually had to exert physical effort into opening up the can and pouring the contents into a pot. I take my health for granted. Don't we all? I should pay more attention. I don't. I used to not care. These days, I am aware of the rapid deterioration of my body and my physical abilities due to the strain of living every second of my life in the moment and all the intense partying I've put myself through especially in the last half of decade. I always seem to get sick when I stop and slow down my frenetic lifestyle. Can you say withdrawal? Keep on moving forward and you won't get sick, is what my body is now telling me. After 32 years on this planet, I only know how to do one thing... live fast. I write fast. I drive fast. I walk fast. I talk fast. I love fast girls. I eat fast. I think fast. Even my dreams whiz by me at ridiculous speeds. I had a subpar weekend on the gambling front. Sure I picked winners in five out of six horse races, but that's not going to pay my rent. My college football picks were mediocre at best, and I got whooped yesterday in pro football. As far as Senor and my fantasy football team, Uncle Jodd's Band, we're just 8 points away from a victory with one player left... Donald Driver on Green Bay... to play this evening. If he scores a TD we'll win our third game and improve to 3-2. I never thought we'd be this close with both our starting running backs out; Priest Holmes had a bye week and Kevin Jones is injured... and our third stringer Charlie Garner is out for the entire season! Marc Bulger hooked us up yesterday with that amazing come from behind win against the Seachickens. At least the Jets won and improved to 4-0. I can't wait to collect all those prop bets I made with idiots who were willing to bet me ridiculous sums of money that Kerry was going to win the election. After seeing both debates, I can tell you this...Bush has it locked up. Everytime Kerry opens his mouth I cringe, because the World gets to see what a waffler and bullshitter he really is. The saddest thing in America this weekend was not hearing about Rodney Dangerfield's death... instead it was the realization of this: that out of a nation of 260 Million people, John Kerry was the best person out there to run against Bush. Awful. Makes me wanna just shoot myself int he fuckin' head or worse, move to Paris. No wonder only 50% of Americans vote. Coke or Pepsi? Both suck and will rot your teeth. Oh well. The only bonus of a second Bush Junta term is this... I do a better W impression than John Kerry... not as good as Bubba Clinton, but I have fun with it. Kerry is too boring. Too dry. A crank call under Kerry's voice is nowhere nearly as funny as getting a call from W or Bubba. Bring back Bubba, I say! He was a blast. Plus, I never got laid more under any President than during those eight years of erotic delights. On the poker front, I'm well enough to play and sit on my ass for hours on end. Some folks might gloat about finishing 7th out of 70 and making the final table in a poker tournament. Not me. I was pissed I didn't win that one on Saturday morning. And last night... I'm still irked at my play at a shot to win a trip to Australia. I hate losing and falling short of my goals. I made only one poker goal for the remaining of 2003... and that was to win a seat in the Australian Poker Championships at the Crown Casino in Melbourne and winning the all expenses paid prize package on Party Poker. I played in two satellites (a $300 one and a $600 one) and failed. I'm on a quest to win my way into a third sometime soon. I'm excited doing some traveling and touring with Galactic next week... which will be a mellow tour for me.... heading up to Rhode Island, Connecticut, and Boston and spending some time out of the city and in the dense foliage of New England. I'll bring the video camera along to get a few shots. Of course we got the best rivalry in sports to entertain me the next few days. Yankees. Red Sox. October. It's like fuckin' heroin, man. Then I got severe blogger burn out a few weeks ago. Blogger.com was the last site I fuckin' wanted to see. Everyone warned me that I'm not Superman (who croaked yesterday). Indeed, I overextended myself.The quality of my Internet writing has seriously diminished the last few weeks. Sure the hijinks are as crazy as they've ever been, but coming from my gut... I'm not writing as well as I know I can. I've been lazy and sloppy and not putting any thought into my words... all in order to save myself some time. That has to end. I cannot allow myself to put crap out here in cyberland anymore. I work my ass off on my novels which are only read by a small handful of people. Yet, my blogs are read frequently, with readers sprinkled all over the world. Time to hunker down... which means I'm going to be slowing down on the blogging front until the next project is complete. Afterwards, I will be pushing myself to write at a higher level that which I know I am capable of doing. For now, I need to reserve my abundant energy and stay healthy for a new project I'm undertaking next month, just three weeks from today. I'm expecting to rage and let loose again in December, especially for the infamous Vegas trip... which is now 60 days away? Hopefully I'll have something special to celebrate in December after bogging down and devoting a serious amount of time to the first epic writing project since February... and November of last year. I need to be physically healthy as well as mentally prepared to block out the external world for a major project. I'm thinking about writing all the time. More than sports, poker, politics, and women combined. I thought more about the next issue of Truckin' yesterday than worrying about the big poker tournament I was going to play in. I've begun my training for sure. That's the first step. Next, I started reading books from my favorite authors and rereading some of my favorite novels. Jury Duty gave me the opportunity to read a few books that I've bee unable to finish this past summer... The Comedy Writer, Just a Geek, and Generation SLUT. Nothing is better than shutting off the TV. That shit kills more brain cells than a Sunday afternoon drinking binge from Al Cant Hang. My eyes are starting to hurt from reading. I'm devouring as many novels from the heavy hitters as I can... those dudes who have been inspiring me recently; Dostoevsky, Beckett, Nersesian, Murakami, and Shakespeare have all been speaking to me in my dreams the last few days. I even picked up The Blind Kangaroo last week. I haven't read it cover to cover once this year. And you even though some parts make me cringe... other parts blow me away. I hope you get to experience the feeling one day... the actually enjoyment of appreciating the originality and quality of your creative output. The secret to my inner happiness is being able to honestly say I'm making a contribution with my life. Part of the reason I've written so little the last year (compare to previous years) has been the fact that I really wasn't dying to say much... novel wise... after writing three in a short spurt (August to November of 2003) I was burnt out and eagerly awaiting a break. I wanted to have a as much fun as I could in 2004 and celebrate life after reaching a milestone in my writing career. I hit Vegas several times. I hit the road. I hit the bars. I hit on adorable Phishy chicks. I lived more life than I wrote about life. That was fine, until now. I guess what I'm saying is that I have a story to tell, and in three weeks, I'm going to start writing it. Oooops. Out of time. I was going to tell you about Jury Duty, but I have to go talk to a man about a horse. Tomorrow I'll wrote about my stint at the Bronx County courthouse and the hot girl who looked like Jessica Alba. Alas, I added two hours of reading time a day in addition to two hours of a free writing session. 1/6 of my day is devoted to improving myself as a writer. I gotta squeeze everything else into the rest of my day. Thank God I'm an insomniac. How the fuck would I get all this shit done? By the way, Happy Thanksgiving Day to all my Canadian friends and readers. I always wondered, do you eat turkey today? | Permalink | No Dingos, Kangaroos, or Shelias... 35th Place out of 84 I friggin blew it once again. I was running good the last few days. I bullied, bluffed, and outflopped my way to two final tables in a 70 and 160 player multis on Party Poker. I was finally healthy for the first time in almost 10 days. I had a gameplan. I had railbirds. A lot of them. Several bloggers and readers turned out to cheer me on. I bored them to death for seventy-five minutes folding crap hand after crap hand. I wanted to unleash LAG maniac Pauly. Couldn't do that when I was seeing 10-3 and 9-6 hand after hand. It got to a point where I was shortstacked after playing two hands 99 and AQ ( I stole pots with semi bluffs with KJo and KT) and winning just three small pots. I was near desperation... going to push with any ace, king, or suited cards when I was 36th out of 42 players. I had fallen so far behind in chips at a loose table with several monster stacks that I knew I had a shot to triple up with any marginal hand, cause I'd get three or four callers... but having to be all in at a table with big stacks would not put me in favorable position. I should have sat back and waited a little longer for a hand. Alas, poker is a game about decisions and I made a crucial one that cost me a trip to Australia. Level 4: K2 in the BB with T710. Avg stack at that point was over T2000. I limped in. The flop: Q46. Checks all around in a three way pot with a T7000 stack and a T3000 stack. Another Q falls. Two diamonds and two clubs on the board. Checks all around. The river: 6s. With T125 in the pot, I'm looking at two pairs with a King kicker. I didn't put either guy on an ace, nor a full boat. Missed flush draws? The button bet T50. I moved all in and the third player folded. He called with A3o. Ouch. My notes had him labeled as a guy who'd play any two suited cards, even calling substantial raises preflop with 97s, J7s, 87s, 82s, 46s... with that information I was itching to move all in against the guy. Bad move. I hate losing and getting knocked out of a tournament when I made a poor decision. I'd rather get bad beated out of a tourney... because that means I had the best hand when I got my money all in. Nothing you can do about bad beats. But poor decisions sit with you and fester. What's more frustrating? Getting no cards? Or getting no cards and making a bonehead move with no cards? Last time I played in the $600 satellite... I was gun shy. I folded AK twice. I would have killed for AJ in this tourney! Or any Ax suited! It was one of those nights. No playable cards in late position. Marginal cards would have been monsters for me... couldn't even catch a break. I wish I could have a better write up, but when you only play a few hands... there's nothing much to say otherwise. Except... thanks for everyone who stopped by! You guys and gals rock. Back to square one. | Permalink | Sunday, October 10, 2004
Aussie Million Satellite I'm playing at Party Poker tonight at 11:15pm EST in the $300 Aussie Million Satellite. The winner(s) will get a seat and an all expenses paid trip to Melbourne, Australia to the Crown Casino to play in the Australian Poker Championships next January where they will be giving away at least $1 Million in Aussie bucks! I invested just $11 this time to win a shot at a trip down under. I played too tenative last time (in the $600 Aussie Satellite B) and tonight I hope to be hyper aggressive. I made two final tables in multis the last couple of days (1/160 and 7/70) and I feel confident about my game. If you don't know my screen name, shoot me an email, and I'll tell you the name I play under. See ya. | Permalink | NFL Week 5 Best Bets Picks of the Week Chicago Bob (2-1): San Diego +3 1/2 Zobo (3-1): Bills +6 1/2 over the Jets Dr. Pauly (3-1): Seachickens -7 Jodd (3-0): The Jets -6 1/2 over the Bills Snail Trax (3-0): The Pats -13 1/2 over the Fish Rib Boy (3-1): Minny -3 1/2 over Houston Parlay of the Week (1-3): Jets -6 1/2, Seachickens -7, and Minny -3 1/2 Upset of the Week (1-2): Dallas over The Giants Rib Boy's Beating of the Week (2-2): The Colts over Raiders Week 5: Jodd loves the Jets. Rib Boy likes the Vikings against the Texans. Daddy from Snail Trax is digging a NE Pats romp. And we all know Chicago Bob loves HOME DOGS! I'm sticking with the Seachickens. Zobo thinks the Jets won't cover against the Bills. Week 4 Update: Bob missed his home dog but he likes San Diego this week. Last week's NFL card featured home dogs in 10 of 14 gameswith road favorites fighting to a slight advantage in those match-upswith a pointspread record of 5-4-1. That brings the record for homedogs to 9-11-1 for the season as the schedule goes back to normal this week with only two out of 14 games featuring home dogs and road favorites. | Permalink | Late Night Blogger Hijinks There was another blogger convention on Party Poker. I sat down with Studio Glyphic and Bad Blood at a NL ring table. Soon after, a few more bloggers joined and we had Halverson and Derek on the rail. Of course, a faithful reader... Hank987 stopped in! The Players:I dropped a few bucks early when A-10 lost to KQ. I also lost a big pot to Bad Blood's KK with the friggin Hilton Sisters. Can't lay those bitches down sometimes. After four hours of play, I rallied back to break even! By the time I left, Bad Blood quadrupled his buy in. Here's some witty chat: Dr. Pauly: damn, those hilton sisters blow Dr. Pauly: trying to crack your AA badblood: then i'd owe you a painting. asphnxma: you are so full of shit, I know you didn't have slick Dr. Pauly: OK, Mrs. Slick but she was soooted. Dr. Pauly: i could use a thai hooker and a blunt right now badblood: avoid the one's w/adam's apples badblood: next thing you know, they'll take my thoughts away Dr. Pauly: thats bush's job Dr. Pauly: id like to duct tape (Avril LaVigne) to a fire hydrant badblood: and then? asphnxma: no and then! Dr. Pauly: paris sucks, nicky swallows Dr. Pauly: wheres alcantfold? badblood: he watched a movie w/his wife of all things Dr. Pauly: at this table... got AA 3x, QQ 5x, hammer 7 times asphnxma: how freaking long have you been sitting here? aasphnxma: talk about addict badblood: top pair, ass for kicker hank987: again I suck Dr. Pauly: u don't suck, u just lack talent, hank... j/k Dr. Pauly: ok kids i think its time to go badblood: you can't go, all the plants will die Studio Glyphic: for the hooker? Dr. Pauly: for me to say g'nite and go write Dr. Pauly: didnt win enough for a NYC escort St_Glyphic: how about a new jersey one? Dr. Pauly: See you at the A.A. (meeting) tomorrow Otis Otis: I'll bring the coffee Dr. Pauly: and I'll bring the high shcool girls Dr. Pauly: Bad Blood... see u in hell Dr. Pauly: hell is being handcuffed to Courtney Love for 8 hours OK, I was a little loopy. But happy to win my money back! Regular players at our table must have thought we were crazy! | Permalink | Saturday, October 09, 2004
Grilled Cheese, Grubby, and Pieces of Pauly What did I eat today? For breakfast I had iced tea and two mini black and white cookies. Lunch was a meatball and ricotta cheese calzone, two slices of pizza, and a knish. My pre-Yankees game snack were chocolate chocolate chip cookies. And yeah sometimes those fuckers are better than a hit of smack! By the way, Molly would love this site. Yummy. The Poker Grub recants an interesting tale about his courtship of a fair young D.C. maiden who happens to look a lot like Natalie Portman. Great piece aout the up and down love lives of poker bloggers. Here's a bit: But whether the opera or (shudder) the ballet, I was happy to do anything with her.You know that saying, "Lucky in cards, lucky in love." Or something like that. Personally, I think Keira Knightley is fourteen times hotter than Nat Portman. Wow, as I'm writing this the Yankees-Twins playoff game is on in the background and Ruben Sierra jacked a three run HR to tie the game at 5-5! Insane, eh? The Metrodome is dead silent. You could hear a nun fart it was so quiet. Another Yankee comeback in our midst? | Permalink | Today's Horses! Lori W. went to Keeneland yesterday for Founders Day and I'm jealous!! I've gambled at Churchill Downs... but never at Keeneland. It's in Lexington, right Lori? I have horses running in three Keeneland races this afternoon in addition to Belmont and Santa Anita. Keeneland 4th Race: Chekhov, Sea Heather, and Real DandyLast week I picked winners in 4 out of 6 races, my best Saturday this season! | Permalink | Saturday Lists of 5 I haven't done these in a while.... so let's go! Last 5 Hilarious Google Referrals... 1. Jeff Weaver roommate marijuana 2. Bangkok girls shooting bananss from their vaginas 3. horny housewives sleeping with writers 4. Yankees black seats stats 5. Lindsay Lohan pussy juice 5 Bands I Saw in Concert in NYC in the 1980s... 1. Beastie Boys 2. Red Hot Chili Peppers 3. U2 4. The Who 5. INXS Last 5 Flicks I Watched... 1. Honey 2. Clerks 3. Coffee and Cigarettes 4. Back to School 5. This Is Not a Film Recent Writing Music... 1. Trey Anastasio Band 2. Tom Waits 3. Radiohead 4. Allman Brothers Band 5. Garage a Trois 5 Ballparks I've Seen Baseball Games At... 1. Wrigley Field (Chicago) 2. Coors Field (Denver) 3. The Kingdome (Seattle... no longer there) 4. Fulton County Stadium (Atlanta... no longer there) 5. Fenway Park (Boston) | Permalink | Friday, October 08, 2004
Fantasy Pauly Pauly's Pub Pigskin Pick'em - Week 4 Update Team of the Week: TIE Coach's Picks & Ugarte's Last Stand 11 wins each NOTE: The Scoresheet function on the espn fantasy website has been having glitches & bugs & problems. The scores are not accurate on that page (as it's been doing on the College pool as well). The main page has the correct standings. Week 4 Results: 1 Coach's Picks 11 1 Ugarte's Last Stand 11 3 Chico's Bail Bonds 10 3 Oyster Bay Moore 10 3 AlCantPickEm 10 3 WhereMy NillasAt? 10 7 Well T'anks For Nuttin' 9 7 manny and ortiz 9 7 All My Sweet Bitches 9 10 Twinkle & Turquoise 8 10 Drunk Norsemen 8 10 Lovelace Leapsloth 8 10 BiG PERM BiG WORM 8 10 Uwannabet? 8 10 Punch You in the Eye 8 10 The Brooklyn Embeds 8 10 Smokin Ricky 8 18 Snot Bubbles 7 18 McNamara Entry 7 18 Bobby BigBalls 7 18 Shakedown Street 7 22 Austin Drunks 6 22 MoshPit badblood44 6 22 Cumberland Blues 6 22 Running Back Ribs 6 26 All In 5 Overall Standings: 1 Well T'anks For Nuttin' (Jerry) 39 2 Chico's Bail Bonds (Derek) 35 3 Coach's Picks (Coach) 34 3 All In (Landow) 34 3 manny and ortiz (B. Singer) 34 6 Uwannabet? (UWannaBet) 33 6 Snot Bubbles (Sean G.) 33 6 The Brooklyn Embeds (Gil) 33 6 Smokin Ricky (Senor) 33 10 McNamara Entry (Spider) 32 11 Austin Drunks (M. Stephans) 31 11 Ugarte's Last Stand (Charles Star, comedian, esq.) 31 11 Oyster Bay Moore (Joe Moore) 31 11 All My Sweet Bitches (Ty) 31 15 Twinkle & Turquoise (Jenna & Haley) 30 15 Drunk Norsemen (C. Halverson) 30 15 Lovelace Leapsloth (S. Lovelace) 30 15 Punch You in the Eye (Pauly 2) 30 15 MoshPit badblood44 (Bad Blood) 30 20 AlCantPickEm (Al CantHang) 29 20 BiG PERM BiG WORM (Armen) 29 22 Shakedown Street (Pauly 1) 28 22 Bobby BigBalls (C. Hardin) 28 24 WhereMy NillasAt? (Boy Genius) 26 25 Cumberland Blues (Hungus) 25 26 Running Back Ribs (Schanzer) 23 The Skinny Week 4: The boys at the Blue Parrot had a stellar week. Both Coach and Ugarte shared team of the week honors when Coach's Picks and Ugarte's Last Stand knocked out a 11-3 record. Chico's Bail Bonds and everyone's favorite wall street bond trader's team Oyster Bay Moore were a close second with 10 wins. Poker bloggers Boy Genius and AlCantHang shrugged off slow starts to also go 10-4 in week 4. Overall: Jerry and Well T'anks for Nuthin are still leading the pack after the first month of play. He opened up a four win lead over Derek and Chico's Bail Bonds (last year's co-winner). Landow and All In's subpar week let him slip to a third place tie with Coach's hot team, Coach's Picks and Singer's team Manny & Ortiz to round out the top 5. In other news, I'm getting harassing emails from the only female entry in the league. Both my teams can't seem to out pace the chick's picks Twinkle & Turquoise. They insist thatthey are not color coordinating their picks based on team uniforms. I dunno what's wrong. My mathematical system is not working this year. I have the hottest team in my college football pool over the last three weeks. I'm winning my Grid Iron pool. I'm killing Daddy's Crush Your Bookie pool. I'm in second place in Al Cant Hangs pool... yet, I can't seem to pick consistent winners on ESPN! I'm in the hole... but I'm ready to make a run. I'm down by 11 and if I can make up 1 win a week, I'll catch Jerry and Derek by Christmas! Watch out.... Payment Information: I have not gotten payment from more than half the league! Get off your asses you lazy fucks! If you don't pay me by Halloween, I'll send Al Cant Hang to your house. He'll drink all your booze and eat all your food until you pay me. Best of luck this week. Don't forget to do your picks!!!  Pull my finger! Grid Iron Week 4 Results Team of the Week: Rib Boy's Latrells 129 Week 4 Results: 1 Rib Boy's Latrells 129 2 Mary-Kate's Nosebleed 111 3 Uncle Jodd's Band 108 4 Trained Professional 104 5 The Brooklyn Embeds 102 6 Robber Barons 99 7 Porkchops & Applesauce 98 8 Your Enemies Friend 72 Season Results: 1 Uncle Jodd's Band (Senor & Pauly) 543 2 Rib Boy's Latrells (Derek) 524 2 Mary-Kate's Nosebleed (Pauly) 524 4 The Brooklyn Embeds (Gil) 514 5 Trained Professional (Boy Genius) 495 6 Porkchops & Applesauce (JoeMoore) 469 7 Robber Barons (Armen) 455 8 Your Enemies Friend (Spider) 453 The Skinny: This was the first week where the scores were not so impressive. The entire league average was just 88 points. Derek and Rib Boy's Latrells won team of the week outpacing both my teams. He moved up from 4th to a second place tie with Mary-Kate's Nosebleed. My team with Senor, Uncle Jodd's Band is tops for a second straight week rounding out the top 3. College Football Pool - Week 5 Update Team of the Week: The Ventian Blinds 44 points (7-3) Week 5 Results: 1 The Venetian Blinds 44 2 AlCantHang 43 3 WhatyaTalkin AboutWillis? 40 4 Chico's Bail Bonds 39 5 Porkchops & Apple Sauce 38 6 Sheer Entry 34 7 Landow 34 8 Austin Drunks 33 9 Ugarte's Last Stand 29 10 Muff State Pie Boys 20 Overall Standings: 1 Chico's Bail Bonds (Derek) 227 2 AlCantHang 224 2 Austin Drunks (M. Stephans) 224 4 The Venetian Blinds (Poker Nerd) 221 5 WhatyaTalkin AboutWillis? (Pauly) 217 6 Ugarte's Last Stand (Charles Star, comedian, esq.) 188 7 Sheer Entry (SENOR) 187 8 Landow 153 9 Porkchops & Apple Sauce (Joe Moore) 145 10 Killer Gophers (Halverson) 137 11 Buckeye! (Ferrari) 124 11 Muff State Pie Boys (Spider) 124 The Skinny: Couple of upsets. Notre Dame lost their first game. Alabama and Fresno State lost. The Poker Nerd and The Venetian Blinds took team of the week honors edging out Al Cant Hang. Derek and Chico's Bail Bonds are in first place with Al Cant Hang and Austin Drunks rounding out the top 3. My team is the hottest over the previous three weeks! Watch out, I'm gunning for first place after a crappy start! Big games this week. | Permalink | First Place... One win away from Australia!! I'm exhausted! After almost four hours I won a 160 person multi table tourney on Party Poker. It was a $10 + 1 Aussie Million Qualifier Satellite A. The top four places won seats in the Sunday night Satellite. Thanks to Phil from Studio Glyphic who sweated me the last three plus hours!! He was good luck. I'm too tired to do a write up now, but I'll get to that tomorrow afternoon for sure. My pocket aces and the Hilton Sisters all held up! I will be playing on Party Poker this Sunday, Oct. 10th at 11:15pm EST at the $300 + 28 Aussie Million Satellite A. I won a seat a few weeks ago after I won a $70 single table qualifier. Tonight was tougher. I needed lots of luck and a few bad beats to slide into the final table. At that point, I knew I was going to get a seat. Thanks again to Studio Glyphic for sweating and cheering from the rail! | Permalink | Thursday, October 07, 2004
 Me at the Game last night! Thanks to The Film Geek for the picture. Hideki Matsui = Goji-san! | Permalink | More Game 2 Thoughts Read baseball blogger (and Tao of Poker reader) Aaron Gleeman's Baseball Blog for a great write up on last night's game. He made a great point: There will no doubt be a lot of people who find fault with Ron Gardenhire sending Nathan back out to pitch the 12th inning, but I'm not one of them. While the complaints may center on Gardenhire letting Nathan pitch to Alex Rodriguez, that's simply more second-guessing and after-the-fact opinion forming than even I'm comfortable with. As far as I'm concerned, the only real decision for Gardenhire came before the start of the inning.Aaron's a Twins fan so read his perspective. If you don't know, his basbeall blog was mentioned in Sports Illustrated. Thanks for the link up! I forgot to say that Flash Gordon picthed subpar and Torre rushed Mo Rivera out there in the 8th inning. Perhaps that was the reason he was a little off. He wasn't quite ready yet and needed a few more minutes to warm up. Tanyon Sturtze pitched great (except the HR to Hunter) in extra innings and he looks like the best arm not named Rivera in the Yanks bullpen. He's been impressive the last two weeks. They are going to need him the next few days. | Permalink | October Magic in the Bronx I live for moments like earlier this evening. Bottom of the 12th. Yankees down one run. The Twins came back in a game that looked more like a heavyweight fight than the baseball playoffs. They cracked the Yankees ace reliever only to succumb to yet another wave of October magic in the Bronx. I cashed out $200 of my Party Poker bankroll and bought my brother playoff tickets for his upcoming birthday. You only live once. Originally I bought bleacher tickets from a ticket broker but those tickets fell through at the last minute due to an error in at the broker's company. After I bitched for about thirty seconds, I was given better seats in the Upper Level. They were more expensive ($250 for 2... when they should have been $45 each) but I got them for $200 as replacement tickets. I was a little irked. I wanted bleacher seats. I wanted to hangout with the Bleacher Creatures. I wanted to be a part of the infamous "roll call" at the beginning of the game when all the fans sitting in the right field bleachers shout the name of every starter, one by one, until they turn around and acknowledge their presence. It's one of those cool unique things that make trips to Yankee Stadium much different from your average baseball game. I had envisioned shouting Derek Jeter's name and having him quickly waved back at us in between pitches. Derek and I pre-partied at the same bar in front of the stadium where I took Al Cant Hang and Mrs. Hang in June. After a few drinks in the crowded bar, we navigated through a bevy of uniformed police officers on patrol and fans streaming inside. I swear I must have seen a cop every ten feet surrounding Yankee Stadium. Derek bought a $4 pretzel from a street vendor and we made our way up to our seats. They were better than I expected. I was exactly half way between the pitcher's mound and homeplate on the third base side four rows back in the upper tier. The only blindspot was the left field corner. But from my seat, I could view home plate and the Yankees dugout easily. Before the game began, I ate fries and a footlong hotdog and Derek had an Italian Sausage on a roll. Throw in a $4.50 bottle of water and a large soda... and that made us $30 poorer. Beers were $7.50. Oils cans of Fosters were going for $9.75. Man, we dropped $250 and the first pitch hadn't even been thrown out! I was a little concerned about the high price I paid for the tickets. I'm not what you call a material person. I own not one piece of jewelry. I don't even own a watch. I don't have a car and I never fly first class. I rarely eat fine cuisine. My clothes are non-hipster friendly. All my money goes towards books, traveling, and maintaining a steady high. I had a tinge of buyer's remorse the last few days. I could have put $200 towards paying off my tax bills (those damn capital gains taxes are killing me) or using it to fund my upcoming trips to Rhode Island and Las Vegas. I was worried that I foolishly spent $200 on a shitty game where the Yankees get blown out and I could have watched it on TV instead. Alas, I love to live in the moment. And where else could finer moments happen than at Yankee Stadium? I always get goosebumps when I hear the National Anthem at Yankee Stadium as you stare at the American flag whipping around in the wind on it's pole in Monument Park surrounded by the memorials of the Yankee greatest players of all time. The fashionably late NYC crowd was still making it's way inside when Paul O'Neill threw out the first pitch. They missed the action. The Twins got off to a fast start, tagging John Leiber for a run in the first inning. The Yankees struck back right away at the bottom of the first when Derek Jeter crushed a home run to deep centerfield off of Brad Radke, knocking a shot into the "black seats". Only two other players have done that in the postseason (Reggie Jackson and Jay Buhner). Instantly, I knew that I was going to be a part of something special. The Twins came right back in the second with two more runs. The Yankees waited until the third inning to respond when Gary Sheffield rocked a home run to left field to tie the game. I have never seen any player hit the ball harder than Sheffield. Even my brother said, "He hits the ball harder in person." I've been impressed with his season long contribution as the MVP of the Yankees. When he slowly walked back out to the field at the end of the third inning, the fans in right field gave him a standing ovation. Chants of "MVP! MVP!" echoed throughout the now full stadium. Despite the six combined runs the game was moving at a quick pace. Lieber and Radke walked the least amount of players in the AL. They worked fast. And the Yankees were knocking Radke all over the place after they had been shut out the night before. The first five innings last just 1 hour and 15 minutes. At that pace the game was going to be over by 9:30! Alex Rodriguez hit a solo homerun in the fifth to give the Yankees their first lead of the night. They started out behind, like they had been doing all season long. The Yankees compiled 61 come from behind wins, tops in both leagues. They were a team that knew how to hang on and rally late in games. Then the game slowed down. ARod picked up his second RBI of the night when he singled in the seventh. The Yanks had a two run lead and things were falling right into place. Flash Gordon came out in the seventh to shut down the Twins. He faltered in the next inning. With one out, he struck out Jacque Jones who reached first base from a wild pitch. That's one of the rarest plays in baseball and I knew it was going to come back and haunt the Yankees. After giving up a single to the next batter, Joe Torre made a questionable move. With 5 outs to go, he brought in closer Mariano Rivera. Prior to the game he has only blown 2 out if his last 33 postseason save opportunities. It made me wonder that if perhaps the Yankees were ahead 1-0 in the series... then he would have let Flash Gordon work his way out of the jam. Instead he went right for Mo Rivera. I get goosebumps when he jogs out of the bullpen to his well-known background music... Metallica's Enter Sandman. It should have been a done deal. Mo's coming in. It's a done deal. That didn't happen and he gave up two runs which tied the game at 5. The entire stadium was shocked. The boisterous rowdy crowd had been silenced. The invincible Rivera was brought back to Earth. After a scoreless ninth inning, the game headed into extra innings. Free baseball. At least I was getting my money's worth. Late in the game, home plate umpire Mark Wegner blew several calls. He squeezed Yankee relievers and everytime he missed a borderline call, the crowd grumbled. At one point, he finally called a strike and the restless crowd sarcastically rose to give Wegner a standing ovation. It was not pretty. He called a very inconsistent game which was angering the Yankees and their fans. In the bottom of the 12th, I'd say that 1/4 of the crowd had left. Those who remained got to see another HR from Torii Hunter. He's been killing the Yanks. It didn't look good. The emotional highs and lows were fast and fierce. I went from pure joy and anticipation when Mo RIvera came in... to utter desperation with one out of the bottom of the 12th.  Arod's clutch hit in the 12th inning. Luckily the Twins manager bad a poor decision (almost along the lines of Grady Little and Pedro last year in the ALCS) and left his closer in for a third inning. Bad move which cost him the game. Even Wegner's generous strike zone was not good enough for Nathan's loss of control. He walked Miguel Cairo and Derek Jeter on eight straight pitches. With two runners on, ARod came up. He belted a shot to left field and missed a homerun. The ground-rule double was his fourth hit of the night and Derek Jeter should have scored on the play, but the umpires sent him back to third base. For about twenty seconds, the entire crowd thought the Yankees won the game. Not quite. What did happen was something crucial for ARod's future with the Yankees. He officially earned his pinstripes with that clutch hit in extra innings. That's why the Boss pays him an enormous salary. Big time players get big time hits in hairy situations. The Yankee magic rubbed off on ARod, which was exactly what he needed. He's been hitting .600 in the postseason this year and looks like he's not going to let up. Sheffield was walked intentionally to load the bases for Hideki Matsui. With one out, I liked our chances of winning the game right there. Matsui is the team's best contact hitter. I knew he was at least going to make a productive out. He lined a rocket to right field. Unfortunately, a speedy Jeter tagged up at third base and beat the throw home. The Yankee came from behind, again! As the crowd left the game, the PA speakers were blasting the usual version of New York, New York by old blue eyes himself. Nothings better than singing along to that song after a Yankees October victory.... four hours and twenty minutes after the game started. Someday I hope you can attend a live playoff game at Yankee Stadium. There is no other comparable experience in professional sports. The energy, enthusiasm, and excitement are overwhelming. | Permalink | Wednesday, October 06, 2004
Dear Loser I have a great sense of humor. And I'm a very tolerant person when it comes to incompetence. So what did I do to deserve an insulting comment? I loathe people who leave anonymous flames. I welcome plenty of different opinions, but I will not tolerate anonymous comments. If they just left their name I would have shrugged off the vainless attempt to discredit me. But since the anonymous poster decided to hide like a six year old... and because I'm irked that the Yankees lost and I'm drunk as hell after pounding beers at the Yankee Tavern seconds after jury duty... I decided to attack. Yesterday, some nimrod took their time to leave an anonymous flame in my comments: Dude- Shut the hell up already! No one cares this much about your life. You're so god damn pathetic. I know, great, you like Phish. And you saw them in Japan. Big fucking deal. I bet you got into Phish in like 1999 and are one of those newbie freaks who feels the need to prove his Phish knowledge at any opportunity.This blog is so ridiculous it's almost scary, and you my friend are the most self-obsessed egomaniac I have ever come across.And you all know how little I think of persons who do stuff like that. I'd have more respect if that person left their name, number, and email address. But they didn't and I shall flame away. I know this for sure. The anonymous poster's IP address is: 12.134.12.40 and was referred by http://www.prodly.blogspot.com/. Here's the information that sitemeter gave me: Time of Visit: Oct 05 2004 5:45:13 pmI know that the anonymous poster is not the author of that blog. So please don't harass him!! The facts are simple. The Tao of Pauly was referred from that blog site. I have discovered that the anonymous poster is a regular/daily reader of Prodly's blog (I was able to view his sitemeter). So Prodly, if this person is one of your friends please forward them this. It's not cool to have your friends or readers or followers anonymously trash me like they did. Not cool. You should teach your friends some manners and blog etiquette. How would you like it if one of my readers decided to insult you or your politics or your dogs? And in a pussy move did not leave their name in your comments? You'd be pretty pissed. If they are not associated with you... I apologize in advance for grouping you in with scumbags like that. I understand that you cannot control all of your readers. But at this time, you are the sole link to this asswipe and are indirectly responsible for sending that person my way. In the meantime, I would appreciate if you would remove my blog link from your site. I'd prefer that you do not funnel me harassing visitors. I left your link still up in a gesture of good faith. If you are a stand up guy like I think you are, I am sure you will quickly find out who this person is and give me their identity so we can clear this whole mess up. And it would be nice if you assure me that you're not involved in any of this flame war. Like I said, you seem pretty cool and I hate to get you involved in this mess... but unfortunately you're stuck right in the middle. Let's address this line by line, shall we? Loser wrote: Dude- Shut the hell up already! No one cares this much about your life. Dude? What am I friggin' Jeff Spicoli? This is my blog. I'll write whatever I want. I have never written for anyone else. I don't give a shit who reads my blogs and that is part of the reason why so many people choose to waste their time with me. I write from the heart, like right now, you ass muncher! My blogs are read on six continents. I have a diverse audience spanning 43 countries. Jealous? Me thinks so. In case you were wondering, plenty of other influential people think very highly of my blogs. My poker blog was featured in All In Magazine. It's also made the Top 10 Poker Blogs List. I've been linked up by one of the most famous bloggers in bloggerdom. I get more than 5000 hits a week and a lot of that traffic spills over here. So it's a known fact that people do care. And if you read the comments on this entry, you'll see just how much people do care about me. I'm lucky to have an amazing support group. Sounds like no one cares about your putrid life and you have to lash out at others just to feel some sort of satsifaction to boost your ground scrapping self-esteem. That's what happens to two bit punks with bad acne, hairy knuckles, testicles the size of peanuts, and too much free time on their hands flaming other people's blogs. Hey dipshit, send me your address and I'll mail you $1500 so you can find a blind hooker to fuck you. Sounds like someone needs to get laid. I'm sure my generous readers will donate money to get you some professional help with your obvious numerous pyschological disorders. Yep, looks like someone has a bad case of small dick syndrome. Loser wrote: You're so god damn pathetic. Pathetic? Good one. Pathetic would define your gutless attempt to anonymously flame my blog. Get a life. Get your own blog so I can post spineless messages about what a loser you are. Ah, that's what I'll devote today's energy for. Flaming anonymous dickwads such as yourself. And let's leave God out of this. He could care less about my blog. Loser wrote: I know, great, you like Phish. And you saw them in Japan. Big fucking deal. I know, great, that you have a small penis! And you need tweezers to masturbate. I love Phish (not as much as The Grateful Dead) and yes, Japan is a big fucking deal. The 2000 Phish tour to Japan changed my life. Obviously you never had an experience that overwhelms you to the point of never wanting to go back home... since you still live with your mommy. I became closer friends with the people I traveled with and created life long friendships with some of the coolest Japanese folks in the world despite the obvious communication obstacles. I instantly became a part of the Japhamily community... the collection of Phisheads (American & Japanese) who collectively experienced that 2000 tour. There's not a day that goes by where I don't think about Japan and how music truly brings people together. Idiots like you drive people apart. Sounds like you're jealous that you didn't get to go! Your loss. And you know what... Japan was a kick ass time. I've traveled most of my adult life and without a doubt, it was my greatest Pauly & Senor adventure ever. Someday I hope to write a novel about the greatest week of my life. I'll send you a copy, fucknuts. Loser wrote: I bet you got into Phish in like 1999 and are one of those newbie freaks who feels the need to prove his Phish knowledge at any opportunity. I'll bet my entire bankroll, you three day old pussyfart!! Obviously you failed to do your research. The author of the Tao of Pauly first saw Phish in 1989 and has been to 151 shows (possibly more) with almost 1/3 of them before 1998. I saw Phish 40 times in 1999. Amazing run that someday I hope to write up in a novel. Those guys have taken me all over this great country of ours and I could bury you with the thousands of stories I have to tell. Sounds like you're a gutless newbie freak who wanted to go to more shows, but mommy wouldn't let you go or you were a slave to conventional thinking and wouldn't get off your ass to have a good time if I put a gun to your thick head. And I don't need to prove my knowledge of Phish to anyone. My phriends know that I've seen more shows than anyone they know. When you have people coming up to you that you've never met before and ask, "Didn't I see you at Deer Creek? You're the guy with the red jacket!" it's an amazing feeling. I had one guy walk up to me in Osaka, Japan and he told me he recognized me from every Phish show in several different Japanese cities!! That's something awesome which you'll never experience. I'm a tour rat. I'm a tour celebrity. If you went to more than two shows you'd know that I'm as infamous in tour circles as Lawn Boy and the kid in the skirt with the Chiquita banana. And the best part? Phish is just a small bit of my life and my passions. There's plenty more to my life than one band. Loser wrote: This blog is so ridiculous it's almost scary Scary is the last person who actually had sexual intercourse with you. Scary is what your momma said after she squirted you outta her womb. Scary is the reality that our troops abroad have to face everyday. And lastly, scary is just one of the many adjectives you'll use after I track you down and call you up at 3am and taunt you with Monty Python-esque tomfoolery. Loser wrote: and you my friend are the most self-obsessed egomaniac I have ever come across. You are not my friend. Don't pretend to be, you gutless hipster. Who the hell are you by the way? You made an enemy here. And I can't wait to sic my minions on you. You wanna talk about scary? How would you like a couple of hundred degenerate gamblers calling you up in the middle of the night? Or worse, how about a bunch of freaked out hippies stalking your every move? I know a lot of people in low places that would love to harass you for nothing more than $3 and a jelly donut. And I'm not fucking around. Consider this a warning. Try it again and you will find someone following you home. I'd be looking over both shoulders if I were you. And as far as the ego-maniac thing goes... you obviously never met me and I could point out a half a dozen people in my life who make me look as meek as Ned Flanders. Obviously you never understood the intent of this blog... Tao is another word for "the way". This is called the way of Pauly. It goes without saying that stuff I post is my internal chatter. And right now all I can think about is how much of a loser you are and how close my computer geek friends are to finding out your true identity and your personal information... which I will quickly pass along to those 5,000 weekly visitors to my infamous poker blog. I've said what I said. And now I'll let my fans, friends, and stalkers continue to rip you a new asshole. I make no excuses for my behavior. I was goaded into this flame war and I will get the last laugh. I'm the luckiest person I know. I have the coolest brother and I have amazing friends. I get to surf through our society, unstuck in that 9-5 grind everyone else is trying to escape from. I travel all over the world and all over America gambling, partying, and even occasionally having sex with women way out of my league. Do you know why 5000 people read my poker blog every week? Do you know why I get to run rampant in Vegas? Do you know why I have such a good time? Personality. I got one and you wish you had one. Obviously you don't have a clue. I used to feel sorry for pathetic duds like yourself. No more. The biggest mistake made in your world... was the decision your mother made to give birth to a nebbish nonentiy like yourself. She should be proud to have given birth to a wet squib and unfortunate stooge who's greatest accomplishment is getting flamed on my blog! You should find the first tall building and jump off of it. Please don't breed and infect our gene pool with future generations of small penis, pencil neck, nimrods like yourself. Ooooh, I can't wait to read what Iggy is going to say about your pathetic comments! Hell hath no fury like a pissed off and drunk Iggy sticking up for his friends! Here's what Jessica recently posted in my defense: Hey, , I guess you weren't around the last time someone tried to flame Pauly in his own blog.Thanks Jess! And thanks to everyone for their support. | Permalink | Tuesday, October 05, 2004
Pieces of Pauly What did I eat Monday? For breakfast, I ate a chocolate frosted donut and an orange gatorade. I ate at the Courthouse Diner for lunch... a bacon and swiss cheeseburger deluse (with fries) and a iced tea with lemon. Before lunch ended and I had to go back in for jury duty, I grabbed two quick pints of Stella Artois at the Yankees Tavern. Dinner was cheese ravioli with marinara sauce. Last 5 Books I Saw People Reading at Jury Duty... 1. Blue Mars by Kim Stanley Robinson 2. The Holy Bible 3. The Other Woman by Eric Jerome Dickey 4. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J. K. Rowling 5. Rich Dad, Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids About Money - That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not! by Robert T. Kiyosaki & Sharon L. Lechter | Permalink | Monday, October 04, 2004
Stormy Monday "If some great catastrophe is not announced every morning, we feel a certain void." - Paul ValeryThe real ugly news is that I got nailed by The Man for jury duty. Not fun. I'll have to pop a couple of Percosetts every morning just to make things interesting. You can betcha I'll be drinking heavily at lunch. Anything to survive the brutal insanity of the New York City court system.  I'll have a few books with me. Marty Beckerman is my new favorite author. Man, I wish I wrote like that fucker when I was 21. And yeah, I got Wil's latest book to keep me entertained. I made it to another month. Another lonely season begins as I start my treacherous Monday. Same shit, different day? Sure, my writing gets recognition these days, even by some of the more influential pokerati types. People identity with my writing style. Others have been ripping it off. Sadly, I'm not making a living off it. No money is coming my way while I'm worried that my faltering inspiration will lead me into a series of tedious dead end jobs which are lining up to greet me with misery in the near future. I'm blessed with the good and fun things in life solely from the mistakes and misfortunes and nimble mischances of other degenerate gamblers. I can't sleep some nights because I know that every day when another person gets killed by a brutal war over black gold... then all my oil stocks go up and that money covers my traveling and other incurred Las Vegas expenses. I am the personification of Capitalistic Exploitation with my numerous pernicious investments. I should be shot. I should be jailed. Yet I roam the streets of your cities freely and without anything holding me back. If I made the wrong turn down a side street in Karachi, I'd have my severed head served up for worm food. Talk about luck of the draw. At least it's October, and the Yankees are in the playoffs. Again. I bought my brother tickets to Game 2 of the first round of the playoffs for his birthday on Wednesday night. Look in the bleachers for us. I funded my fifth online poker account the other day; Party Poker, Choice Poker, Planet Poker, Pacific Poker and now Poker Stars. I sent yet another Western Union wire transfer to a yet another South American country. Incidentally, I have two accounts with off shore sports books in Curacao and Aruba. I'm not Euro trash enough to have a Swiss Bank account, but I do have accounts in two very sunny "island nations." It's a matter of time before my banking transactions are flagged by the Federalies. Even my mother began quizzing me on the numerous Fed Ex envelopes from Gibraltar (Party Poker) that her doorman was saving for me. And I told her, "When they stop coming... that's when you have to worry." I've been sick the last few days. Eleven months of partying and traveling and sleep deprivation had finally taken it's toll. I was greeted by a dark cloud of fatigue earlier this week, coupled with a nasty head cold. It had gotten so bad that I couldn't play poker and not even write. I had no choice but to shut everything down for a few days in order to recuperate. My health is vastly improving, but now I'm not looking forward to the mountain of work I have ahead of me. I have fallen behind in updating my blogs and working on a few side projects. I wanted to write pages and pages about the debate or the hurricanes or the impending eruption at Mt. St. Helens or why I can't seem to fold AK. All that was put on hold. I haven't had time to play cards which directly affects my banking situation. Debts on my credit card are mounting with trips scheduled to Rhode Island and Vegas. And with Jury Duty this week, my online poker time is severely limited. I told someone recently that I'd rather have sex with Tina Fey than Britney Spears. A long silence followed my comment before a boisterous, "Bullshit!" OK, I'd rather talk to Tina Fey after sex than talk to Britney Spears. I like nerdy girls. Which reminds me of an old joke. Q. What did Britney Spears say after the first time she had sex?While I was sick, I tortured myself by watching Honey. Not even Jessica Alba shaking her booty in every scene was enough for me to stomach 98 minutes of wasted film stock. $17 Million to make that flick? And they shot it in Toronto instead of NYC, which would have doubled the film's budget. I only need $1 Million to shoot The Baby & Winky Movie. Any investors out there? I picked four winning horses on Saturday; Funny Cide, Light Jig, Twining Glow, and X Box. I was wicked pissed when Commencerate lost in the 7th race at Belmot. Serves me right for wagering on a friggin' French horse. It goes without saying that all of my blogs will be on hiatus until after I successfully served my civic duty. | Permalink | Today in Phishtory 
10.4.00 Chula Vista, CA Set I: Moma Dance, It's Ice, Bouncin', Funky Bitch, Reba, Dog Faced Boy, Antelope Set II: Rock & Roll > 2001, Sample in a Jar, Gotta Jibboo, Bug, Harry Hood, Cavern Encore: Loving Cup Awesome show. Was on tour with the Japhans... Yuh, Jun, and Ryugi! I love the venue at Chula Vista. San Diego was a lot of fun. Second set was a lot of fun. | Permalink | Sunday, October 03, 2004
NFL Week 4 Best Bets Last week I was out of town and I forgot to publish my picks of the week. Not to worry, our experts submitted picks and they'll get credit! Picks of the Week Chicago Bob (2-0): Jags +4 over the Colts Zobo (2-1): NY Giants +& over Green Bay Dr. Pauly (2-1): NE Pats -5 1/2 over the Bills Jodd (2-0): The Jets -6 over the Fish Poker Blogger of the Week... Snail Trax (2-0): KC +5 1/2 to upend the Ravens Rib Boy (2-1): Rams -3 1/2 over the Niners Parlay of the Week (0-3): Jets -6, Pats -5 1/2, and the Under in the Redskins/Browns Upset of the Week (0-2): KC +5 1/2 over Baltimore Rib Boy's Beating of the Week (1-2): The Seachickens whooped the Niners. This week the Eagles over da Bears. Week 4: Jodd loves the Jets. Rib Boy likes the Seachickens against da Bears and the Rams. Zobo likes the Giants at Lambeau Field. Daddy from Snail Trax is digging a KC upset. And we all know Chicago Bob loves HOME DOGS! | Permalink | Friday, October 01, 2004
Happy Birthday, Alea! The Tao of Pauly's favorite Wisconsin Phishead turns 20 today! Hope it's a great year. Here's her favorite Truckin' story for obvious reasons. | Permalink | HOME
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