Tao of Pauly

Breakaway

I went to the doctor this morning and he said that I had a remarkable recovery in the last 48 hours since he last saw me. The fucker wanted to cut me open too. Bastard. The steroids and antibiotics worked and I was spared a trip to Mexico to get my throat spliced up in a clinic in Juarez. I woke up on Sunday feeling chipper. I think it's because I haven't smoked weed in days.

I'm well enough to travel and I'm heading back to Hollyweird in search of a literary agent and to see some old friends as well as some new ones. When I'm in LA I'll do some freelance writing. I have 7 assignments due this month and will try to get as many done as possible. I'm also going to be taking some time away from the blogs, aside from working on Truckin'. I need some rest and time alone to think about what I'm doing here on the web. I'm always questioning the direction of my writing.

I fell into a depressive funk the other day. I'm sure you had those moments when you were sick as a dog staring up at the ceiling thinking that death was just a few seconds away. I was thinking about all the things I never got to do and that made me sad. My goal of taking off three or four months at the end of 2006 to write and travel is getting more and more important to me. I would love to take a full year off. And I'm gonna take the next two weeks to figure out how to make that concept a full blown reality.

I lead an unhealthy lifestyle. I eat crap. I party too much. I don't sleep enough. I fall for "bad girls." And I'm a workaholic. I'm shocked I made it to 33. I thought I'd slow down in my 30s... instead I picked up more steam. Just like when I got that jaywalking ticket last month in LA, I felt as though it was the least illegal thing I did during my entire trip and happily accepted my fate. If catching tonsilitis is the worst health issue I experience this year, I'll take it.

My problem is that there's only one way I know how to live life.... fast.

I'm going to be taking the next few days off to reflect about a lot of things. Some times you have dig deep and ask yourself those tough questions, the ones you are afraid to ask because of the answeres you might get in return. I've reached a fork in the road and before I keep going, I need to do some soul searching.

See you when I return. In the meantime if you get bored, go read old issues of Truckin'.