Tao of Pauly

Terminal Woes

My aircard was on the fritz. The wifi at the airport was shaky, at best. Getting any catch up work done was impossible. Usually, while sitting around in airports, I crank out an hour of cleaning up my email inbox and responding to emails that were sent to me up to a month ago. It's an awful habit and one of the biggest liabilities that I am not proud about.

The hardest thing was finding a spot to sit while I waited to get on the plane. My initial seat was next to a sweet old lady. However, two 40-something women sat down across from me and would not shut the fuck up. Their conversation was futile and I wanted to say something like, "Can you guys talk a little lower? I don't care about your sister's latest pyscho-drama."

That's why I wish some people had mute buttons.

I moved instead of confronting them. I hoped that the wifi would be stronger at a different gate. That didn't work. A fat guy who has a son at LSU yapped non-stop to the folks in his section. He was sharing his pearls of wisdom about parenting. I wish he had a mute button too.

I moved a third time and everything was great until the old guy busted out fingernail clippers. I dunno how he snuck those past airport security (unless he bought them at the airport gift shop), but he took off his sandals and started clipping away. Disgusting.

I really just wanted to get back to NYC with a reliable wifi connection and away from the annoying people. I generally have a high tolerance and I try to be a patient person, but those folks were driving me nuts.

The flight from Ft. Lauderdale to NYC was uneventful. There was a baby three rows in front of me and aside from a ten minute stretch over the Carolinas, he was well-behaved.

My flight was five minutes early which was a shocker for a flight landing at LaGuardia. By the time I deplaned, I was feeling like crap. I started to catch a bug as early as Sunday morning. I was blah on Monday and sick on Tuesday.

I went home, sorted through my mail, then called up Verzion to figure out what happened to my air card. The lady on the other end of the phone was American. A Texan, I think by the sound of her drawl. I'm completely geeked out whenever I call a toll free customer service number and actually get someone from North America and not an outsourced rep.

I spoke to Nicky and she was sick too. I ended up writing for a bit before crashing early. I had a slight fever and a scratchy throat and feared another batch of tonsillitis coming on. The last thing I need right now is Strep Throat.

I woke up around 6am and wrote for two hours while listening to a few Dead bootlegs. I headed out to the Greek diner for a bacon, egg, and cheese on a roll.

I went to my mother's apartment while I did laundry. There are five apartment units in her wing and there are two apartments where the elevators open up. I saw three guys packing up furniture. It appears that the old man who lived there passed away when I was in LA.

Ever since I can remember, those seven apartments on my mother's wing have had the same people living in them for almost thirty years. That particular apartment had a really short Jewish woman and her husband who was at least 6'9'. That guy was huge and he'd tower over us as little kids.

I wonder who is going to move into that apartment?

There are two apartments where the husband and wife eventually died and the oldest son took over the apartment. Derek and I used to joke that one of them was a serial killer or a possible pedophile.

The other two apartments still have older Jewish couples living there, while the guy next door lives by himself after his wife passed away. He never allowed her to smoke in the apartment, so she would have to smoke in the stairwell.

Today is a busy day. I'm currently waiting on laundry and have to go to the bank and the dry cleaners. I also have to do all my March Madness picks along with sitting down to do my taxes. If I finish all that before dinner, then I'll have to crank out an article or two. And yes, I'm still sick and running on vapors.