Tao of Pauly

82 Degrees in December

By Pauly
Hollyweird, CA

It was 82 degrees at one point on Tuesday. Lucky SoCal fuckers.

I wrote for about two hours in the morning then played online poker. I won a bit and logged off. Nicky eventually woke up and we drove to O'Groats for breakfast. We passed a slew of striking writers who were picketing in front of Fox. At O'Groats, we didn't have to wait for a table. I ordered my usual French toast, bacon, and home fries with iced tea. I write this phrase every time I go to O'Groats... because it's so true.... best French toast in Hollyweird. Hands down.

I went to the bank to withdraw money for a week in Las Vegas. ATMs give you $50 bills and $20 bills and $50 bills are bad luck so I go on mega tilt when I get an odd $50 bill from an ATM. Even if I took out cash at the ATM, I'd have to go inside to the bank and ask them to change the $50s. So I skipped the ATM and filled out a withdraw slip and stood in line. That took twenty minutes. That's how long I stood in line. I wanted to die, because I was first in line the entire time!! There were only two windows open and both customers were special needs and required a ton of attention. My transaction took less then two minutes. That's why I was irked that I had to wait twenty for a simple transaction.

The bank played Christmas music when I walked in. As I waited in line, the song changed to Suspicious Minds by Elvis. Fitting, I thought.

We went to the Grove to do some shopping. Nicky wanted to buy me a cashmere sweater for Christmas. I objected and she persisted. We didn't get it, thank God.

I went home and took a nap. Slept for like twenty minutes. Then I did a load of laundry and played more online poker. I bought a couple of presents online. Showcase came home and mentioned that it was Chanukah. He lit his Jewish candles. He wanted Nicky to get a Christmas tree. We agreed to pick one up when we get back from Vegas. Last year, I got to tag along while they bought a tree for the apartment.

I made a couple of phone calls before dinner including a call to Otis to wish him a happy birthday. I said something to the effect that he needed to stop being a pussy and he should pull the tampon out of his ass or something heart-felt like that.

I wrote something on Tao of Poker called Pusherman, which touches on addictions in America. Check it out.