New York City
|Illustration by Mattias Adolfsson|
Last year at this time, I didn't really have a gameplan. I penciled a loose sketch about what I wanted to do but tackled the year with a flexible attitude. I had fun, like always, but I ran into some rough patches because of the lack of a specific gameplan. As the year came to a close, I had a more detailed outline about the future, specifically 2014. I have a general idea what I'm doing and what I want to work on.
I have three or four new things ready to roll in the upcoming months. Those newer projects coincide with a consolidation of websites/blogs/tumblrs, etc. I guess there's far worse things in life than being over-ambitious, but I often bite off more than I can chew and then I get in a weird spot because I've overextended myself and have too much pride to either 1) ask for help, or 2) cut my losses and walk away. Until I can clone myself and put them to work on various projects, I had to be honest with time limitations and make some sacrifices. There's only so much I can do without blowing a gasket. The worst stress is the stress you unfairly create for yourself.
I enjoy creating things because I want to create them. Most of the time, I have no choice... I'm drawn to something. I guess that's the universe taking over, or me feeding the curiosity beast. Nothing can be more impure than being forced to do something for the sole (unpaid) entertainment of others. Whenever someone says "When are you going to write this..." that's a surefire indication that I shouldn't be doing that and you can bet your ass I won't do it. It's that eternal battle between keeping yourself happy and trying to keep others happy. It's a constant struggle -- doing things you enjoy versus doing things you're supposed to do. Conflict arises when you have less time to do the things you're itching to do, and stuck trying to keep others happy doing what they want you to do. It nearly killed me once in Vegas, and I'm not keen on letting that happen again. Took me nearly two years to bounce back from the accident, but even then I held myself back too many times to count because I felt obligated to do other things. Then a bitter resentment builds up because I'm making tremendous sacrifices to make other people happy... only to find out most of them will never be satisfied.
I've never been someone who did things that was expected of me, so why the hell did I get myself into a creative rut? All it did was rot my insides. I lost control of my own creative controls which were hijacked by different parties -- commercial interests and mob mentality. The sad part is that I let that happen. I wallowed in my own misery for a bit before I said 'Fuck it!' I launched a counter-coup and now I regained the controls. Again. I foolishly let the inmates run the asylum. Yeah, I'm back to driving the bus and running the loony bin.
I know where I want to go and not afraid to make that journey. Let's have some fun with it before I lose control because the herd always catches up eventually.
By the way... in the sports betting department, we got some kick-ass content over at Ocelot Sports. Our pal, Buffalo66, is creating daily handicapping videos to give a glimpse into his system and how he makes picks based on several different models. With the NFL playoffs coming up, he's going to share a ton of free advice. Don't miss out. Follow @OcelotSports on Twitter and visit the website (OcelotSports.com) for daily picks and handicapping videos.
Happy 2014. I hope it's a productive one for the both of us.