Tao of Pauly

Friday Morning Rant

The strike. The Baseball Strike. It’s everywhere: in the papers, on TV, on the TAO. There is no middle ground here, because whether or not there is a strike, the bottom line is that whatever happens in the next few days will be nothing more than a band-aid on a large grossly infected wound, a deep gash that has been bleeding for decades.

CONSPIRACY?

Just like the blitz of the sudden rash of kidnappings across America, our media and TV have been focusing on " this missing child" or focusing on the trial of "this psycho kidnapper". Yes, these are horrible crimes and is on the top lists of everyone’s (especially parent’s) worst nightmares. But in reality, kidnappings are down in previous years. There has been in spike in all general violent crimes and more people have been murdered in the Bronx (317 this year thru AUG) than been kidnapped (6 thru August). The bottom line is that there is a lot of freaky shit that has been going on and as usual, America is too distracted to be paying attention. After all, the average American’s attention span for domestic and global affairs is roughly the same as trying to get Tom Green to sit still for 3 minutes without doing anything or saying anything stupid. It’s impossible.

As America wakes up to another day of enduring freedom, and scratches it’s collective ass and wonders whether or not there will be a baseball strike, they completely miss what’s been going on in back rooms in Washington and in religious schools in Saudi Arabia. How our politicians are selling out individual’s rights and privacy issues, in new laws and legislation, in order to cover THEIR OWN ASSES just in case something else (similar to 9.11) goes down. Have you seen or heard from Hillary Clinton these days?? It seems the political pundits are more concerned with how they will look during the next attack (as Rumsfeld say, "We don’t know when, we don’t know where… but they are coming.") than actually doing something to prevent the next attack and most importantly to me: contain fundamental Isalm across the world, in America, in Saudi Arabia and elsewhere. These are the same people, Hillary et al, who tell you that we need to be "good citizens and get in line," but fail to tell you that the world population will DOUBLE in the next 40 years and that oh maybe Americans will be outnumbered by Muslims 8 to 1 or maybe 10 to 1 in the next few decades, which means more funerals, more wars, more headaches and suicide bombers for our kids and grandkids to deal with. Shit, to hell with baseball, it’s a wonderful distraction, I fucking LOVE the Yankees, but in order for me to sleep safely at night, I want to know that America is taking care of business where it should be dealt with. Oil, Saudis, water and education should be the TOP 4 topics each night on the news. But it isn’t. Why?

And if I hear one more redneck tell me it’s un-American to strike because of 9.11, I’ll personally go to Bumblefuck, Kentucky, kick down the unhinged door to his trailer park, bitch slap the soiled NASCAR hat right off his dense head, drag his tighty-whitey wearin’ ass out to his septic tank, and show him pictures of 15 of the 9.11 hijackers, while grabbing him buy his greasy mullet and shouting, "You are the fucking traitor, Billy Bob!! While you and your sister/wife are eating cheez-doodles, eating Big Macs, and drinking Budweiser tall-boys while cussin’ at ESPN, these men, all from Saudi Arabia and thousands more are plotting to kill more and more of us, our allies, and our model for democracy. So while you sit on your ignorant ass and hurl insults at Bud Selig, A-Rod, or George Steinbrenner, just remember that each minute you waste with petty distractions like the baseballl strike or whether or not the word GOD is in our pledge allegience, one more soldier of destruction sneaks into America, another suicide bomber straps up his bomb vest, more terrorists are training to use weapons of mass destruction, and another seven year old kid is brainwashed into thinking that America is full of dumb stupid ass rednecks who only care about tits, ass, TV, and baseball. Well, Billy Bob, who’s team are you on?"

I say, fuck it, go strike. No baseball. Use the time to show pictures of all the people who died on 9.11, hook up AL-Jezera TV and see all the anti-American garbage the Middle East is flooding the airwaves with, and maybe the people America will do something about this mess we’re waist deep in, instead of letting the greedy scumbags that we blindly throw into office make crucial decisions that will cost our children and children's children billions of dollars, and mounds of blood and flesh. Until the American people start to understand what we are up against today and in the future, we will always be the stupid, drunken rednecks that the world thinks we are.

OK, I'm done, now get the fuck out of my office. Some of us have real jobs to do.