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Download PokerStars Thursday, September 30, 2004
Happy 40th Trey! 
Trey and his Mom do the Sexy Bump! My 5 Favorite Trey Moments... 1. Seeing Trey get pegged in the head with a glowstick at the end of the third set for the Halloween Las Vegas show in 1998. 2. Watching Trey drool during Ghost in Osaka, Japan. 3. "How much for the grenande?" ...the scene from Bittersweet Motel when he haggles over a gun purchase with an arms dealer in a store in Spain. 4. During one of the Miami shows after they jammed out a kick ass Foam he turned around to Fish and said, "Wow! That was fun!!" I had second row seats side of the stage with Zobo that night and I could see him chatting with Page and Fish and Mike in between songs. 5. At the last Great Woods show, Trey polled the audience and asked if they thought Fish vaccuum songs made or killed the show. | Permalink | Fantasy Pauly It's that time of the week for updates of my fantasy pools. I am winning the Grid Iron pool and I'm making a run in the College Football Pool. My pick'em picks in the NFL pool aren't panning out. I'm getting taunting emails from other group members making fun of me because I'm losing to the only female entry in the pool. I'm not worried. I always make my run in October! Pigskin Pick'em - Week 3 Update Team of the Week: Snot Bubbles (11-3) Week 3 Results: 1 Snot Bubbles 11 2 Smokin Ricky 10 2 Uwannabet? . 10 2 Well T'anks For Nuttin' 10 2 All In 10 6 The Brooklyn Embeds 9 6 Drunk Norsemen 9 6 Chico's Bail Bonds 9 9 Austin Drunks 8 9 manny and ortiz 8 9 Coach's Picks 8 9 Twinkle & Turquoise 8 9 McNamara Entry 8 14 MoshPit badblood44 7 14 Lovelace Leapsloth 7 14 Shakedown Street 7 14 Ugarte's Last Stand 7 14 Oyster Bay Moore 7 14 BiG PERM BiG WORM 7 20 AlCantPickEm 6 20 Punch You in the Eye 6 22 Running Back Ribs 5 22 All My Sweet Bitches 5 22 WhereMy NillasAt? 5 22 Cumberland Blues5 26 Bobby BigBalls 4 Overall Standings: 1 Well T'anks For Nuttin' (Jerry!) 30 2 All In (Landow) 29 3 Snot Bubbles (Sean from Anistropy) 26 4 Smokin Ricky (Senor) 25 4 Chico's Bail Bonds (Derek) 25 4 Austin Drunks (Matt S.) 25 4 Uwannabet? (Uwannabet?) 25 4 The Brooklyn Embeds (Gil) 25 4 manny and ortiz (B Singer) 25 4 McNamara Entry (Spider) 25 11 MoshPit badblood44 (Bad Blood) 24 12 Coach's Picks (Coach) 23 13 Drunk Norsemen (Halverson) 22 13 All My Sweet Bitches (Ty) 22 13 Lovelace Leapsloth (S. Lovelace) 22 13 Punch You in the Eye (Pauly 2) 22 13 Twinkle & Turquoise (Jenna & Haley) 22 18 Shakedown Street (Pauly 1) 21 18 BiG PERM BiG WORM (Armen) 21 18 Oyster Bay Moore (J. Moore) 21 18 Bobby BigBalls (C. Hardin) 21 22 Ugarte's Last Stand (Charles Star, comedian, esq.) 20 23 AlCantPickEm (Al Cant Hang) 19 23 Cumberland Blues (K. Hungus) 19 25 Running Back Ribs (Schanzer) 17 26 WhereMy NillasAt? (BG) 16 The Skinny: Sean and Snot Bubbles took team of the week after and moved to third place over all. Jerry and Well T'anks for Nuthin! is still winning it all, with Landow and All In behind by ust one point. There's plenty of time to make a move. I haven't been too impressive, but I always make a run in October!! Watch out, some crazy games this week with plenty of injured players out there throwing a wrench into everyone's picks. Jerry is winning with an insane 62.5% winning percentage! The previous winners usually never get more than 55%. Grid Iron - Week 3 Update Team of the Week: Uncle Jodd's Band Week 3 Results: 1 Uncle Jodd's Band 187 2 Mary-Kate's Nosebleed 168 3 The Brooklyn Embeds 158 4 Rib Boy's Latrells 149 5 Robber Barons 143 6 Your Enemies Friend 140 7 Porkchops & Applesauce 132 8 Trained Professional 118 Overall Standings: 1 Uncle Jodd's Band (Senor & Pauly) 435 2 Mary-Kate's Nosebleed (Pauly) 413 3 The Brooklyn Embeds (Gil) 412 4 Rib Boy's Latrells (Derek) 395 5 Trained Professional (BG) 391 6 Your Enemies Friend (Spider) 381 7 Porkchops & Applesauce (Joe Moore) 371 8 Robber Barons (Armen) 356 The Skinny: BG and Trained Professionals slipped out of the top spot after a huge surge from Uncle Jodd's Band. Lots of injuries this past week and with bye weeks upcoming, it's going to be another tough week. College Football Pool - Week 4 Update Team of the Week: TIE (The Venetian Blinds & WhatyaTalkin AboutWillis?) were 9-1 Week 4 Results: 1 WhatyaTalkin AboutWillis? 54 1 The Venetian Blinds 54 3 Porkchops & Apple Sauce 52 4 Austin Drunks 51 5 AlCantHang 50 6 Chico's Bail Bonds 49 7 Ugarte's Last Stand 47 8 Sheer Entry 43 9 Killer Gophers 37 10 Muff State Pie Boys 33 Overall Standings: 1 Austin Drunks (Matt S) 191 2 Chico's Bail Bonds (Derek) 188 3 AlCantHang 181 4 WhatyaTalkin AboutWillis? (Pauly) 177 4 The Venetian Blinds (Poker Nerd) 177 6 Ugarte's Last Stand (Ugarte) 159 7 Sheer Entry (Senor) 153 8 Killer Gophers (Halverson) 143 9 Buckeye! (Signor Ferrari) 124 10 Landow 119 11 Porkchops & Apple Sauce (Joe Moore) 107 12 Muff State Pie Boys (Spider) 104 The Skinny: Virigina Tech missed a field goal and cost me a perfect week! It seemed like Week 4 was one week when the favorites prevailed. Notre Dame is still undefeated. Austin Drunks is still in first place with Chico's Bail Bonds in a close second. The Venetian Blinds and WatchatalkinaboutWillis are tied for fourth. Still plenty of time left in the season to make a late charge!! | Permalink | The Good Life  Some days your the bum. Somedays your the street. Think about that one for a minute. | Permalink | 5 Lists of 5 It's that time of week again. Five random lists of five random things... Recent Google Referrals in the Last 24 Hours... 1. Jane Pauley manic depression 2. Pink rabbits love tequila 3. Lindsay Lohan licking her left breast 4. Shark tale cocaine bathtub 5. Pics of female celebrities hairy armpits Recent Writing Music... 1. Toots & the Maytals 2. Velvet Underground 3. Vida Blue 4. STS9 5. The Beatles Last 5 Flicks I Watched... 1. Shooting Fish 2. American Splendor 3. Sylvia 4. Interiors 5. Ash Wednesday Airports I've Gotten Drunk In... 1. Detroit Metropolitan Wayne County Airport 2. LAX 3. Keflavik (Iceland) 4. Hartsfield International (Atlanta) 5. Denver Stapleton Recent Poker Music... 1. Little Feat 2. JJ Cale 3. Billie Holiday 4. Jerry Gracia & David Grisman 5. Galactic | Permalink | Wednesday, September 29, 2004
Private Table Birthday 
Thanks to Maudie for the screen capture! I logged online to just check my email. I got home after walking several blocks in the pouring rain to be invited to a private table at Party Poker, full of poker bloggers in honor of Al Cant Hang's birthday. The Players:I was still dripping wet during the first few hands. Can't recall much aside from raising Al's big blind every orbit from the button! As always, a blast even though I lost a crushing $8, which is about the price of one drink in NYC. | Permalink | 5 American Cities I Visited the Most in the Last Decade... 1. Las Vegas 2. New Orleans 3. San Francisco 4. Los Angeles 5. Philadelphia Editor's Note: This list does not include cities I've lived in. 5 Cities That Just Missed the Cut... 1. Boston 2. Chicago 3. Portland 4. Dallas 5. San Diego | Permalink | Belated Boobage For Al Cant Hang... Lindsay Lohan's GQ spread pics. I glanced at that issue while standing in line at the grocery store, stuck behind an old lady. She took forever it seemed and I kept flipping through the pages as she complained and whined and held up the entire line. I felt like that scene in American Spledor when Harvey Pekar lost his shit and left the store. | Permalink | Tuesday, September 28, 2004
Back to Vegas I've been to Las Vegas so many times in the last two years that I've lost count! In 74 days, expect to see me back in Sin City... for an undeteremined amount of time. I hope it's snowing in NYC that weekend when I'm playing a round of golf in 75 degree sunny weather. Time to build up the bankroll and I hope that my oil stocks take off in the next few weeks so I can fund my December trip. | Permalink | Oil Hits $50!  Today's Oil prices Just as I predicted nine months ago... Crude Oil Futures would hit highs near the election. Instability in Nigeria has Wall Street and OPEC worried. Rebels are promising a war will begin on October 1st. They warned oil companies to shut production in the Niger Delta before they declare an all-out-war on Friday. That news drove oil prices up the last two days, hitting a high of over $50 this morning. Nigeria is the fifth largest supplier of our domestic oil consumption. Global oil production is pumping out at just about full capacity to feed the enormous demand of China's economic expansion and boom, which is reaching it's fastest output growth in 24 years. There are also serious security threats involving Suadi Arbaia, Iraq, and Russia which has magnified the price surge. Opec promised to increase their production to help combat lower prices, alas some experts don't think Opec can do anything to stop the price surge. | Permalink | Bash at the Boathouse  My brother woke me up with a phone call saying that he was going to take the train from NYC to Philly so he could attend Al Cant Hang's fifth annual Bash at the Boathouse. I told him we'd pick him up at the 30th Street train station downtown after we met Boy Genius at the airport at noon. I went downstairs and Al Cant Hang was already up doing his horse racing picks. He kindly hooked up the computer and DSL line in the living room for late night amusement just in case I couldn't sleep. Mrs. Hang got up and made breakfast... a homemade recipe for French Toast which kicked ass. Life was looking great when Al flipped on MTV and Katie Holmes: Diary was being aired. Could not have been any happier! Mrs. Hang was gracious enough to act as the airport & train pick up for out of town guest poker bloggers. Derek missed his first train by just a few minutes and his second was being delayed due to Amtrak mechanical problems. We picked up BG at the airport then drove down a few exits on I-95 towards Delaware to pick up cheaper cigarettes and get a great Philly Cheesesteak at one of Mrs. Hang's favorite places. I split a large cheesesteak with provolone and mushrooms. It was scrumcious. The onion rings melted in your mouth. Derek's train from NYC finally arrived and were on our way to the Boathouse a twenty minute drive from downtown. Big Mike picked up Al Cant Hang at noon and they had been drinking steadily with Lewey when we finally arrived. Al pre-ordered hot buffalo wings for Derek so as soon as he met Al, he had a double Jack and food awaiting him! Lewey bought the first several round of drinks. We all caught up watched a little college football (friggin Virginia Tech killed me!) and we quickly sat down for some poker. I will be updating that part (the specifics of the infamous Boathouse Game) on the Tao of Poker in the near future. For now, I'll just have some general comments about the game. So there's very little poker content in this entry for you non-pokerheads. Big Mike had dirty cards that he picked up in Greece the week before. It was cool in theory, but in reality, it was hard to see the actual card rankings, since they were shrunk to a small corner, while the majority of the card displayed a kinky sex acts involving gals with huge breasts and guys with cocks the size of small alligators. Everyone was downing drink after drink during the game. The party started at 6pm and I was ripped by 4pm... and I didn't down any shots at that point! Derek said I had been drinking a lot more than I originally blogged on my last edition of Pieces of Pauly. I low balled those numbers in a conscious effort to tone down the flippant remarks regarding my superfluous drug and alcohol usage. At this point, it's pretty much a given to all of you that I was inebriated at some point of every day, especially at an Al Cant Hang sponsored function. Plus add the fact that I have a somewhat infamous poker blog (read on six continents and forty-three countries daily!) that the word is out that I'm a degenerate gambler and wandering, bohemian, party animal. Do people really want to know that I knocked down at least 7,000 bong hits this year alone? And popped more pills that could easily put 1/3 of all of Romania to sleep for two weeks straight? Back to the party. During the pre-party poker game on the deck, Lewey got wasted. Very wasted. Landow said he had never seen Lewey that out of control before. Early on, he wasn't doing anything outrageous except that he lost the volume control on his voice and was speaking in that drunken volume where everyone within a two mile radius can hear what he's saying. At one point his exgirlfriend came over to say hello and he ended up telling the table and the entire Boathouse, "Yeah, I used to nail her!" Poor girl was standing ten feet away with her mother and there sat Lewey bleeding away his stack of chips, discussing his sex life at a table full of bloggers. Al Cant Hang had to say something to Lewey to calm him down. He muttered, "When I'm the voice of reason, you know something's wrong." That was just the beginning of the implosion of Lewey. He was down $210 at one point playing poker and who knows what his bar tab looked like... and the party had only officially started for an hour!! Big Mike and Al Cant Hang were knocking back Irish carbomb every fifteen minutes. It was impressive, kinda like watching Willie Mays play centerfield. You had a feeling you were watching greatness unfold before your very eyes. I won $110 mostly from Lewey and I was up $200 at one point. The first of five bands came on and we sat in the VIP section and chowed on some Boathouse burgers. They were good and were just warming up before they played a longer set later in the night. The second band was an 80s cover band with a cute lead singer with the largest real watermelons I've seen in some time. She was short and solid. BG made the comment that, "She was chunky enough to have some self esteem issues." She had an OK voice and afterwards we chatted her up at the outside bar. It was her first gig with the band and she was a little nervous. I think she was a Delaware girl but we didn't get too much time to chat. Carter finally arrived after a day long session of poker at the Borgata. I slowed down a bit waiting for my second wind. That's when Lewey started speaking in drunken tongues. I saw that Al Cant Hang was sitting down with him. He had a stressed out look on his face . Landow decided to drive Lewey back home. I joined him (just in case he needed help and because Landow was going to drop me off to pick up my car at the hotel). Derek tagged along and as we were taking Lewey out to the parking lot, he escaped! He bolted past me and took off down a steep hill adjacent to the boathouse. I saw him sprinting and then he disappeared from my line of sight. Al Cant Hang joined the chase (and bolted as fast as I ever seen Al Cant Hang move) after him. I quickly followed. The hill was more steep than I thought and I had to look down to make sure my footing was OK. That's when I saw Lewey bounce off of the bottom of the hill and onto the pavement, a good twenty yards from where the hill ended and a paved parking lot started. Al Cant Hang was bending over him and Lewey looked like he was knocked out cold. After a quick inspection, Dr. Al diagonsed that Lewey did not have any broken bones, but he had a gash his arm, which was scraped pretty bad. Al picked him up and we threw him into Landow's SUV and we took off. After Lewey was escorted to his front door from Landow, Derek noticed the blood stains on Landow's upholstery. My prediction almost came true... "someone was going to the hospital"... and I was glad it wasn't going to be me! We reurned to the Boathouse. I threw on the red jacket and was ready to party. It was almost 11pm when we got back when I found Al and Big Mike for a round of SoCo shots. I ended up doing three very quickly. Went back inside and caught the end of the Petey and the Bandcampers set. They played Patience and the Al Cant Hang Song. The Al Cant Hang Experiment was up next and they were dressed up like 80s rockers with bad hair and makeup. That when things got fuzzy and I at some point I drove BG back to the hotel, which was a two minute drive, where we hung out for a little late night partying before I crashed for three hours and got up to drive him to the airport! | Permalink | Happy Birthday, Al Cant Hang!  Another shot?? In honor of America's Favorite Wingman and North America's foremost SoCologist's birthday, I penned a poem for him. Ode to Al Cant HangHappy birthday, Senor Al No Puede Colgar! Hope it's a good one. | Permalink | Blogger Reviews There have been a few updates from my fellow bloggers about this weekend. Grubby and Helixx posted blurbs about our Borgata Blogger Convention in Atlantic City. Boy Genius had some interesting things to say about the Bash at the Boathouse. Here's a bit: After grabbing Derek from the depot, we went straight to the Boathouse, where Internet Celebrity (TM) Al Can't Hang was already in pre-bash preparations. And yes, by "pre-bash preparations," I mean "doing shots with Lewey, Big Mike, and others at 2PM. So with Pauly, Derek, Al, and myself all under one roof, how long do you think it took to get a poker game started? I think they measure frames of time like this one using the Heisenberg Principle, or Occham's Razor, or something. Needless to say, in less than 30 minutes, we had a game going.And this was my favorite part: I have never seen guys drink like Al and his boys. Every time I turned around, they were drinking another SoCo shot. And another. And another. Oy. They're trained professionals kids, DO NOT try this at home.And of course, Al Cant Hang posted a write up of Blogger Borgata game and the Saturday fiesta. Here's what he had to say: I did make one guy cry with a horrible beat. Really really. Right there at the table. I made a move at a pot where this kid flopped his K with a bad kicker. He called my all-in on the turn after a long time. He flipped his cards and said, "I have the King". I just cringed. I said, "I just have Ace high". Just as I said it and flipped, the dealt put a lovely Ace on the river.More to come. I will be writing up the highlights and lowlights from Saturday. Stay tuned. | Permalink | Recent Driving Music.... 1. Led Zeppelin 2. Bob Dylan 3. Charlie Hunter 4. Medeski, Martin, & Wood 5. Miles Davis | Permalink | Monday, September 27, 2004
Pieces of Pauly What did I eat this weekend? Some Friday's Borgata highlights: chocolate donut, General Tso's combo special from Noodles of the World. After poker playing snack included a bacon cheeseburger with fries (dipped in ranch dressing). On Saturday, I also had a cheesesteak with provolone and mushrooms (with a side of fries) with Boy Genius and Mrs. Hang in Deleware. I also ate a few buffalo chicken wings from the infamous Boathouse. I drank at least ten beers (Yueng Ling Lagers during the party and Heffewiezens during poker) and late night I downed three shots of SoCo with Al Cant Hang and Big Mike at the Boathouse Bash. On the way home, I ate some tasty cakes and drank on Orange Gatorade. | Permalink | Borgata Blogger Misadventures "You might wanna check in on your boyfriend, I just put a bad beat on him."- Al Cant HangEditor's Note: You can read the entire write up via the Tao of Poker. I included some of the highlights and some of the better written parts... 24 Sept. 2004... Atlantic City, NJ It took exactly two hours to drive from midtown Manhattan to the Borgata, with a piss stop along the way. Not bad time for a sunny Friday morning. I forgot that Atlantic City is actually a few minutes closer to NYC than Foxwoods. As soon as I parked, I called Al Cant Hang and the lovely Mrs. H. They were just five minutes behind me. We arranged to meet at the B Bar, centrally located in the middle of the casino. I had only been to the Borgata once before during their first opening week but never had the chance to play cards. By 11:43am, the ever generous Senor Al No Puede Colgar bought his second round of drinks... the usual for himself, a cranberry and Malibu for Mrs. H and a pint of Lager for yours truly. We toasted to Iggy and Sean and everyone else who couldn't make the journey. We were awaiting the arrival of Grubby who had passed out at 8:30 that morning after a late night session of poker. He finally wandered downstairs and recanted his previous night's performance. A few minutes later, Helixx popped in (he got carded!) and within seconds we had four degenerate gamblers drinking at noon in a bar in an Atlantic City casino yapping about all things poker. We could have probably sat there all day and night knocking back cocktails and comfortably discussing our deep passion for gambling and other related interests, but alas, we were in AC to play some poker. The three beers on an empty stomach made me a little tipsy and I needed food. I never like to play serious cards when I'm pounding beers. I'll drive after a few drinks, but I hate playing poker when I'm liquored up. Why is that? I know that my decision making processes are heavily impaired while I'm on the sauce. Just think about the five ugliest women you ever hooked up with... then you'll understand why I need to have a little more self control at the tables. Conjuring up those nasty mental images is enough to rapidly drive a man to the nearest AA meeting. After a kick ass General Tso's special from Noodles of the World (and thanks to Grubby who graciously picked up the tab... on his birthday I think!) we invaded the downstairs poker room. Within ten minutes we were seated. Helixx was called first for his $2-4 game and then they announced open seating for a new NL table. I bought in the $300 max and sat down ready to play. The blinds were $1 and $2. The Players:3:31pm EST... I played my second hand in an hour when I found cowboys in late position and fired out a $30 preflop raise. I had two callers... Al Cant Fold and Grubby. I put Grubby on AK or 10s figuring that he would have come back over the top with any other big hands. I put Al on big suited cards or something like AQ or AJ. The flop: 6xJs9s. I opened up with a $50 bet. Al Cant Limp folded. And Grubby thought for a second and moved all in. That's when I should have folded. I was used to being bullied around by my fellow poker bloggers and the guys at the Blue Parrot. I had $80 already in the pot and $160 left. I foolishly called and of course the Grubster had JJ. He took my $240 in what was a $500+ pot. I was busted in the first hour! I looked at the time. How was going to last until Midnight with just $200 left? I only brought $500 with me out of my thin (Eastern European model-thin) cash bankroll. I wanted to cap out my loses in case I was on a bad run. I didn't want to have to go to the ATM but I pretty much decided that would have to happen if I lost my rebuy. I walked back up to the cage and got $200 in red chips. I took my seat again. Like that old Chinese proverb said, "Fall eight times, get up nine." 4:41pm EST... -265. The suit was a calling station. With AA in the BB and three limpers in the pot, I raised to $50, well over 25% of my stack. The suit called and before the last card was dealt on the all rags flop, I pushed my chips all in. He took his time and for the first time all day, my heart jumped out of my stomach while my breathing intensified. I live for those moments. Some folks jump out of airplanes, others climb misty mountain tops, and some party themselves into frenetic highs. The rare instances in my life when I never felt more alive and in the moment... were at poker tables. At 4:41pm EST... that moment was no different. I'll be chasing that high for many days in the future for sure. My heart was thumping harder than Monica Lewinsky rushing down the street to Krispy Kreme first thing in the morning. Sweat was dripping off my face harder than Patrick Ewing at the free throw line. The suit was staring me down. I couldn't decide if I wanted him to call and chase or fold. He took more time before he peeked at his cards one last time, sighed, then folded. I wish he waited a few more seconds. The rush of adrenaline sobered me up and kept me going for the next day or so. 6:13pm EST... The hand of the day... Al Cant Hang raised in LP with A10. The kid in Seat 1 called with K6s. The flop: KJ2. The kid bet and Al raised. The kid called. The turn was another rag, but it gave a second club to the board. The kid bet and Al moved all in with nothing but an ace high!! The kid took his time. That's when I put him on a small King. He called with top pair but was worried if Al had him outkicked, or even had paired the board with his kicker. It seemed like a couple of minutes before the kid made up his mind. His girlfriend wasn't there at the time (she had gotten up to got for a smoke or bathroom or boredom break) and he kept staring at the board. He finally called and showed his K6s. He almost jumped out of his seat when Al Cant Limp showed A10s. The guy next to me whispered, "I folded an ace." Al had a flimsy two outs to win. In dramatic fashion an ace fell on the turn followed by the chorus of "Wow!" and "Holy shit!" Grubby's jaw dropped. The kid punched the empty seat his girlfriend had been occupying. He smacked it a second time and then a third. I heard the muffled shout of, "No!" over him trying not to cry at the table. He smacked the chair a fourth time. If his sweetheart had been sitting there, chances are she would have had two black eyes by that point. Al slowly stacked up his chips then left the table which was blanketed in an uncomfortable silence as the kid pulled his shirt up over his face to hide the tears. He was visibly shaken (for the following next forty minutes). The guy next to me made a comment (in jest) that the kid lost all the money he was saving up for his wedding. If true, that would have been fucked up. At the time, I was cracking up on the inside because Al Cant Hang made some kid cry after a vicious bad beat and possibly took all his wedding and honeymoon money! All I could think was two things: 1. Thank God that wasn't me.When Al went out for a cigarette, he saw the kid's girlfriend and said something like, "You might wanna check in on your boyfriend, I just put a bad beat on him." Tragically funny, kinda like when a clown dies. Like a vicious storm, Hurricane Al Cant Hang terrorized the poor kid. He was lucky to still have the shirt on his back. 6:50pm EST... The Hilton Sisters were flashing me. I raised preflop and Al cold called in the BB. The flop: 8JJ with two clubs. He bet $30 and I called. Did he have the Jack? Would Al Cant Limp smooth call when he flopped trips? When a 4 hit the turn he bet $100 or roughly the size of the pot. Was he on a flush draw? I took my time and went through all the possible hands. I figured he had a AJ or something like that. I folded. The dealer pushed him the pot and he flipped over A7s. I expected the ace, but not the 7! I pounded my fist on the table and in Hellmuthian fashion, I stormed away intoxicated by a haze of ire. Seething? Yep. Irked? You betcha. Did I lose my composure? You would have too. Those damn Hilton Sisters. I didn't want to loose my entire stack to three Jacks again. I should have moved all in against Al and folded against Grubby. I sat down completely embarrassed that I lost my cool in a casino. The dealer never said anything and we moved on to the next hand. Overall Grubby came out on top netting over $200 (most on the $500 pot he won against me!). Carter only lost $25 (on his last hand to me) and Helixx had a $50 loss at the $2-4 tables. Al Cant Hang and Mrs. H lost their buyins at the table but the big slot win made the trip a profitable adventure. Mrs. H had some meal comps so we grabbed a late night dinner at their diner. Cheeseburgers for me and Grubby! I think Al Cant Hang was eating pancakes. We chatted and rambled on. I got bogged down into an "industry chat" with Grubby and we shared not just poker, but writing as a collective interest. Carter encouraged me to get a full RSS feed so he can read my blogs at work (I think I fixed that... lemme know). I wish I had the chance to play with Helixx especially since we all had a blast a couple of Friday's ago at the micro limit, drunken, blogger convention on Party Poker. We said our good byes and I drove with Al Cant Hang back to chez Hang. We blasted Led Zeppelin the entire drive home and I eventually had to slow down near Valley Forge Park when I saw all the friggin' deer grazing all over. It was freaky because I could barely see all the deer through the faint moonlight and the low fog. I had this fear that Bambi would sprint out in the middle of the road and I'd slam on the brakes and Al Cant Hang would go flying through the dashboard (he'd be OK of course... a half a bottle of SoCo makes men bulletproof) and we'd be spending the rest of the night explaining to Mrs. Hang why we needed a crowbar and a bucket... to remove the bloody hoof from the front end of my rental car. Day 1: -325 To read it all visit: Tao of Poker. | Permalink | Birthday Message from Japan Emi recently blogged me birthday greetings. Here's what she wrote in English: Thanks Dr.Pauly, We had great time with you when we enjoying the show together! and thanks pauly, always you rescue us from our horrible seats! and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!Thanks Emi! I hope to see in Japan next year! My Japanese is not too good. I did not understand the rest of her entry. Maybe someone can help me translate it better? Here's what I understand: My friend of Pauly lives in New York. His occupation is a good writer and artist or does such a thing it seems. As for him loving the Phish, he chased them 100 times or more. He is rather funny with Tao of Pauly. Of course because it's written in English, it's too long and hard to translate and you become tired, however sometimes when you read there is also a time of laughing. His humor is my favorite and best part of his writing.As I said my Japanese is horrible and this is loosely translated!! But you get the point. Thanks Emi! | Permalink | Sunday, September 26, 2004
Boathouse Bash Preview This is just some of the things I'll be addressing in a future post. 1. After picking up Boy Genius at the airport and Derek at the train station with Mrs. Can't Hang, we were drinking at the Boathouse by 3pm. 2. We played poker on the outside deck for 5+ hours. 2. I won $110 for a $40 buy in NL game. I was almost up $200 at one point. 4. I won all the money back that I lost from Lewey in June. I rivered Lewey on a really bad beat. 5. Lewey had to do 4 rebuys. 6. Big Mike had these cool "dirty" cards from Greece with all sorts of orgy scenes and guys with cranks the size of 7-iron. 7. I bluffed Al Can't Hang out of a huge pot. He actually folded trip Kings!! I had nothing. 8. Boy Genius was shortstacked most of the early part but hung on surviving all of his all-ins. 9. Landow won a hand with AA! They weren't cracked. 10. Derek flopped a straight with 25o, went all in and doubled up against me when I flopped two pair. Some non-poker things... 1. Carter arrived a little late and very tired after a day long sessions in AC! 2. I heard one of the bands play the infamous "Al Can't Hang" song. 3. One of the bands were called: The Al Cant Hang Experiment 4. One of our fellow poker bloggers... puked. I'll reveal his identity later! 5. Two words: SoCo Shots. 6. I went with Landow to drive an extremely inebriated Lewey home. 7. BG had me cracking up all night with his observations of the crowd. 8. There was a female singer in one of the bands (an 80s cover band). She had huge watemelons. BG described her as "chunky enough that she probably has self-esteem issues." 9. We chatted up the "watermelon" girl at the bar. She kinda blew us off. 10. Another random blogger passed out for a few minutes. I'll have photo evidence very soon. More to come. | Permalink | Saturday, September 25, 2004
Today's Horses I just made my picks: Let's Smoke 'Em Polish Crown Vermont Summer Inda Sun Tanwi Spring Jennaslilprincess Cocktailsandreams Irish Colonial Golden Commander Foreverness Plenty Western Ransom Dedication Hour of Justice Ocean Drive | Permalink | Borgata Blues Preview 1. I started drinking with the Hangs at 11:15am, Atlantic City time. 2. Met fellow poker bloggers Helix, Cuban Links, and the infamous Poker Grub. 3. I dropped $325 in 6 hours playing NL. 4. Played at the same table with Al Cant Hang, Mrs. Hang, Grubby, and Cuban Links. 5. Grubby won a $250 pot from me and busted me. His Jacks cracked my pocket cowboys. 6. I lost my entire $300 buyin within the first hour. 7. Carter from Cuban links sucked out a runner runner flush to beat me out of a $100 pot. 8. Al Cant Hang made some kid cry after he won a $300+ pot when he bad beated the poor kid on the river when Al Cant Hang caught a near impossible two outer. 9. Al Cant Hang bluffed me out of a $220+ pot. I folded on the turn. I had the Hilton Sisters and all he had was... ace high, which he proudly showed me. Why didn't I call? 10. After the AlCantHang Bluff, I lost my temper and smacked the table loudly and had to walk away from the table to collect myself. More to come. | Permalink | Friday, September 24, 2004
On the Road... I'm off for the weekend. Today it's Atlantic City and a poker bloggers convention (not really an organized convention, but there will be at least six or so of us there playing poker) at the Borgata. On Saturday, it's more cards and the Bash at the Boat House, thrown by our host Senor Al No Puede Colgar, otherwise known in some circles as Al Can't Hang. Here's the directions he sent me to his house: 1. Take the New Jersey Turnpike SouthSome folks have stone fountians, some have pink flamingos, some have gnomes or lawn jockeys... I'm looking for the fat hippy!! More to come. | Permalink | Last 5 Books I Saw People Reading on the Subway... 1. A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving 2. Asking for Trouble by Elizabeth Young 3. The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck 4. Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami 5. Men Are Like Fish: What Every Woman Needs to Know About Catching a Man by Steve Nakamoto | Permalink | Truckin' - September 2004 (Vol. 3, Issue 9) September's issue of Truckin' is short and sweet. I'm excited to add another new writer to the roster. Ignatious J. Reilly shares a story about his recent trip to Aruba during a hurricane. Diane Roy is back with a touching piece of fiction. And of course I have two stories; an Amsterdam tale, and another Coventry, Vermont story. Sit back, enjoy, and please spread the good word about this site. Be sweet, McG. 1. Charlie's Albatros by Tenzin McGrupp She barely touched her tea, instead she put a hefty dent into the pack of Gitanes she bought during our desperate search for hash and French smokes in the early afternoon... More 2. Mausoleum by Diane Roy The answering machine was the only thing alive, waiting like an exasperated lover, waiting to be released from the duty of reliving that day, over and over and over... More 3. Ivan and Aruba by Ignatious J. Reilly Hurricane Ivan was on it's way and everything was closed up or shut down. Arubans were twitchy and dumbfounded, and that alone made me nervous. A hurricane, much less a category 4 storm, had not hit this lovely island in nearly 200 years... More 4. A Vermont Wake Up Call by Tenzin McGrupp Sure it might have been the first strange thing I saw that day, but I was guaranteed that by Midnight, the naked pregnant chick taking a shit behind my tent would be the 136th weird-ass-happening that I'd experience... More | Permalink | Thursday, September 23, 2004
Happy Belated Birthday... Lori & Armando! I missed it, but a late blog is better than no blog! Happy birthday guys... to Lori, one of my favorite Kentucky readers who I finally got to meet at Phish at Deer Creek. And to Armando, who I've known for almost fourteen years! Happy b-day guys. Hope you had a great day. | Permalink | John Romeo = Asshole There's this clown in my fantasy football league with Senor. He complains about everything. Since day 1, I've had my email inbox bombarded with his annoying emails complaining about everything. I got fed up and posted the following to our league's message board: Look, I kindly asked Mr. Romeo yesterday to nicely remove my name from this REPLY TO ALL list. And today I found 4 emails from him. Now, I'm not in a good mood. All this nonsense will end today.Man, this guy sucks. I feel bad for our commissioner!! | Permalink | Fantasy Pauly Updates I have some updates for all my pools. I'm not doing too hot. I managed 9-1 week in college football, only to be outshined by my brother who had a perfect 10-0 week. My fanatsy football team is sputtering along, and my NFL pool picks aren't panning out. Pauly's Pub Pigskin Pick'em - Week 2 Update Team of the Week: TIE (All My Sweet Bitches; All In; Snot Bubbles; Well T'anks For Nuttin') 9 wins Week 2 Results: 1 All My Sweet Bitches 9 1 All In 9 1 Snot Bubbles 9 1 Well T'anks For Nuttin' 9 5 manny and ortiz 8 5 Smokin Ricky 8 5 Running Back Ribs 8 5 BiG PERM BiG WORM 8 9 Oyster Bay Moore 7 9 Chico's Bail Bonds 7 9 Cumberland Blues 7 9 Twinkle & Turquoise 7 9 Ugarte's Last Stand 7 9 The Brooklyn Embeds 7 9 Austin Drunks 7 9 Uwannabet? . 7 9 Drunk Norsemen 7 9 Bobby BigBalls 7 9 Punch You in the Eye 7 9 McNamara Entry1 7 9 Lovelace Leapsloth 7 9 WhereMy NillasAt? 7 9 Shakedown Street 7 9 Coach's Picks 7 25 MoshPit badblood44 6 25 PayMeNow 6 Overall Standings: 1 Well T'anks For Nuttin' (Jerry) 20 2 All In (Landow) 19 3 Bobby BigBalls (C. Hardin) 17 3 manny and ortiz (. BSinger) 17 3 McNamara Entry1 (Spider) 17 3 All My Sweet Bitches (Ty) 17 3 Austin Drunks (Matt S.)17 3 MoshPit badblood44 (Bad Blood) 17 9 The Brooklyn Embeds (Gil) 16 9 Chico's Bail Bonds (Derek) 16 9 Punch You in the Eye (Pauly 2) 16 12 Snot Bubbles (Sean - Anistropy) 15 12 Lovelace Leapsloth (S. Lovelace) 15 12 Smokin Ricky (Senor) 15 12 Coach's Picks (Coach) 15 12 Uwannabet? (U Wanna Bet) 15 17 Shakedown Street (Pauly 1) 14 17 BiG PERM BiG WORM (Armen)14 17 Oyster Bay Moore (Moore) 14 17 Cumberland Blues (K. Hungus) 14 17 Twinkle & Turquoise (Jenna & Haley) 14 22 Ugarte's Last Stand (Charles Star, comedian, esq.) 13 22 PayMeNow (AlCantHang) 13 22 Drunk Norsemen (C. Halverson) 13 25 Running Back Ribs (Schanzer) 12 26 WhereMy NillasAt? (Boy Genius) 11 The Skinny: Jerry and Well T'anks for Nuthin' are leading the field. Landow and All In sits in second, just one behind our leader. Their 9 win week kept them up top. All My Sweet Bitches and Snot Bubbles had solid weeks and moved up in the standings. A lot of wild upsets thiin Week 2. It's a long season, so there's plenty of time to make a comeback!! Don't forget to do you picks!!! If you don't do them, the computer automatically takes all the HOME teams for you... that way you still have some points if you forget to do your picks. Andy ideas for a "Last Place" bonus prize?!? Grid Iron Week 2 Update Team of the Week: Uncle Jodd's Band Week 2 Results: 1 Uncle Jodd's Band 134 2 Trained Professional 128 3 Mary-Kate's Nosebleed 120 4 Rib Boy's Latrells 119 5 Porkchops & Applesauce 118 6 Robber Barons 117 7 The Brooklyn Embeds 110 7 Your Enemies Friend 110 Overall Standings 1 Trained Professiona (Boy Genius) 273 2 The Brooklyn Embeds (Gil) 254 3 Uncle Jodd's Band (Senor & Pauly) 248 4 Rib Boy's Latrells(Derek) 246 5 Mary-Kate's Nosebleed (Pauly) 245 6 Your Enemies Friend (Spider) 241 7 Porkchops & Applesauce (Joe Moore) 239 8 Robber Barons (Armen) 213 The Skinny: Senor and I had a monster week (despite Priest Holmes getting injured and taken out of the game) and jumped up in the standings. Boy Genius and his Trained Professional team are still on top. With a slew of injuries and a bye weeks upcoming, it's going to be a long season. College Football - Week 3 Team of the Week: Chico's Bail Bonds (10-0) and a perfect 55 point week Week 3 Results 1 Chico's Bail Bonds 55 2 WhatyaTalkin AboutWillis? 53 2 Austin Drunks 53 3 AlCantHang 50 4 Landow 45 5 Buckeye! 43 6 The Venetian Blinds 41 7 Sheer Entry 40 8 Ugarte's Last Stand 39 9 Muff State Pie Boys 34 10 Killer Gophers 32 Overall Standings 1 Austin Drunks 140 2 Chico's Bail Bonds 139 3 AlCantHang 131 4 Buckeye! 124 5 WhatyaTalkin AboutWillis? 123 5 The Venetian Blinds 123 7 Landow 119 8 Ugarte's Last Stand 112 9 Sheer Entry 110 10 Killer Gophers 106 11 Muff State Pie Boys 71 12 Porkchops & Apple Sauce 55 The Skinny Week 3: I thought I had a great week, but it looks like Derek and Chico's Bail Bonds had a perfect week going 10-0 and is just one point off the lead, held onto by Austin Drunks (for a third straight week). Anyway, Derek and I both called the Auburn win. Tennesse won on a 50 yeard field goal, West Virginia needed OT, and Notre Dame keeps on rolling. | Permalink | 5 Random Things I Like Eating at Waffle House... 1. Pecan Waffles 2. Double cheeseburger plate (with bacon) 3. Hash browns... scattered, smothered, covered, and topped 4. Sausage and Cheese sandwich (basically a grilled cheese with a patty in it) 5. Bert's Chili | Permalink | Phish Out of Water Interview with Chris Kuroda I just read a great article, pointed out to me from Alea. Phish Out of Water is an interview with Chris Kuroda, the lighting tech for Phish. I always said that he was the "fifth" member of Phish... and his lighting direction is some of the best in the business. Here's a bit: Kuroda started working with the band after an offer from Trey Anastasio, vocalist and guitarist, to carry gear at local gigs around Burlington, Vermont, where the band and crew got started and still reside.Check it out. Thanks, Alea. | Permalink | Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Dead Money = Senor Al No Puede Colgar Al Can't Hang changed the name of his blog today... in honor of my b-day and after something I penned in a write up of the poker game late Monday night. Check it out. | Permalink |  Fuagzzi! In related news, CBS and 60 Minutes report that have uncovered documents concerning the legitimacy of the Spears-Federline union. | Permalink | Pieces of Pauly What did I eat in the last couple of days? Tuna salad sandwich on Italian bread, French Toast at the diner, chicken parmigana sandwich with cheese fries, mozzarella sticks, four slices of pizza, a half a loaf of garlic bread, two Everything bagels, buffalo chicken wings, a red rice and bean burrito, a spicy sliced chicken breast sandwich with American cheese and bacon, and seven slices of pound cake. I have grown addicted to Arizona Raspberry iced tea, although I've been drinking a lot of Orange Gatorade. | Permalink | Thanks! I would like to thank everyone for all your birthday wishes, comments, cards, e-cards, phone calls, and e-mails! Some of you even blogged birthday greetings. Thanks again. I never saw Phish on my birthday, but I once saw The Grateful Dead play Madison Sqaure Garden in NYC on my b-day as a teenager. Talk about a raging show! | Permalink | Poker Musings I had two lengthy write ups of poker games in the last few days. I played cards until 6am on Monday and last Friday I got to play with a bunch of different poker bloggers online at Party Poker. Visit Tao of Poker to read the complete entries. Late Night Weirdness at the Blue Parrot "Swish, I'm right fucking here!" - Ugarte scolding a player for continuously acting out of turnI had a great birthday yesterday. I wrote for several hours, played a few hands on Party Poker, ate dinner with my brother, then ventured off for a late night game at the Blue Parrot. Signor Ferrari had not hosted a game in several weeks. He pushed back the starting time a couple of hours and suggested that everyone bring a lax attitude this week, along with alcohol. Lots of it. Most of the regulars were back... Coach, Ugarte, and even Swish made the game. He was in town covering the Giants-Skins game and stuck around an extra day to play. Weirdness is the norm when the games get into the late hours. You can imagine what it was like when we left his apartment at 6am. At one point I was down almost $200 and left at 3am. I'm glad I stayed because I stormed back, saved face, and walked away only down $30. It was a full table at the Blue Parrot, with the MNF game on in the background. The players:Man, I have lost so much money on Anaconda at the Blue Parrot that I could probably buy an entire bar in Southern Mexico somewhere, a place that Al Can't Hang and Mrs. Hang could vacation, and where the locals would shout out, "Senor No Puede Colgar!" everytime our favorite Socologist entered the premises. I cannot fold hands in Anaconda. I know better too. I feel like one of those battered wives, with two black eyes and a broken collar bone, who constantly runs face first into the fist of her pugilistic husband, unable to break free from the sadistic nature of life that we all crave, yet lack the self-esteem to walk away. I finished the night only down $31!! It was one of those sessions where I gutted through all the misery and waited until I had the chance to get better hands and take advantage of a short handed table. I was pumped about only losing $30 because it could have been a lot worse. My cash bankroll is more thinner than the anorexic Olsen twin and a huge loss at the Blue Parrot would have made this upcoming trip to AC uncomfortable with a limited bankroll. It was just a few moments before sunrise when I left the Blue Parrot. Ferrari had to crash for a few hours before he went into work. I grabbed breakfast with Diane where we chatted about the night's game. She made a few mistakes but also made some great calls. She reads people well sometimes and that's her best asset. As I walked past Penn Station to get to the subway, I was nearly run over by a horde of bitter, early morning commuters heading to work. I smiled. I pulled an all night poker session on my birthday of all days, gutting out only a $30 loss after almost losing my buy-in and rebuy. I rode the subway home in silence, my eyes heavy, and my body wedged in between two NY Times reading, Starbucks drinking yuppies. They were just starting their day, while I was ending mine. Well, not really. I got home and wrote for several hours, including this rambling review of another wild late night of poker at the Blue Parrot. My next big report will be about my tales in Atlantic City on Friday with Senor No Puede Colgar, El Comida del poker, and friends. Stay tuned. Friday Night Blogger Convention Last friday night, I went slumming at the 50 cent tables with some of our favorite poker bloggers on Party Poker. It's been a while since I let loose and had a good time. I wonder what the four or five other players thought about the wretched insanity we all brought to the tables? I'm sure they had no idea that we knew each other. It was like that scene from Rounders... except they were playing with some seriously demented, distrubed, drunk, and disorderly people. The Players:Over an hour, I dropped $19 most of it to a hand with AlCantFold. Party Poker's wild and loose tables at micro limits especially suck when you flop a set and still have five mentally unbalanced players rampantly jamming the pot with two gappers. I flopped four sets and only once did they hold up. Alas, I wasn't really there to win money. Poker used to be a social event for me. I love a good party. In the last year or so, I adopted a more serious approach to poker. And at times, that new mentality took a lot of the fun out of the game. Sure I have plenty of poker passion, but the fun had slowly slipped away in my most recent sessions. Last night was unlike so many other nights. I actually had a blast... losing. I guess technically everyone was on tilt, playing garbage starting hands and trying to outbluff each other. Maybe it was the liquor or the pain killers or the excitement, but that table was one of the best I ever sat down at. Even the rock-solid Ugarte loosened up a bit. I swear I saw him play A7o in early position! When HDouble sat down, he busted out the $1000 stack. Iggy wanted to show everyone he had a bigger one, so he whipped out his $1000 stack. I wished I could have stayed longer, but I had a few things I had to write before I crashed and got up early this morning to write some more. As always it was a pleasure to sit at a table with everyone and enjoy such fine table commentary. Visit tha Tao of Poker to read more. | Permalink | Monday, September 20, 2004
The Connection "Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend."- Albert CamusAbout a year ago I almost hit rock bottom. I live to write and one September day in 2003, I woke up completely uninspired. That was not a nimble mischance. My once vast pool of inspiration had dried up. You could imagine the treacherous confusion that set in as I wandered around unhinged, unbalanced, and under-excited-about-life, surfing the tumultuous waves of postmodern society for several weeks while my mindset was tepid, at best. I was anonymously slumped at the end of a bar, muddied in a mid-afternoon buzz, when out of nowhere, I got up from my stool and walked out into the crowded street. I decided at that point to stop contemplating the big questions and start living. I'd push myself to write, to live, to travel, to explore, and most importantly... to make mistakes. Lots of them. I found something that day. Something I had been missing for several years. I discovered the intangible fearless attitude that I used to give me a glittering swagger when I walked so many years before. Within eight weeks, I penned two new novels, one of which I can proudly say, was my best piece of writing I every created. Coincidence? As soon as I shrugged off the possibility of failure, I found the energy and inspiration to start more projects. Some of them have panned ut, others fizzled out. But if I didn't take the first steps, I never would have figured out what parts of my vision could become reality. A year later, I find myself overwhelmed with projects. Instead of pulling myself out of a deep depressive funk where I felt I had nothing pushing me... I find myself, today, slipping into a deep depressive funk because I realize that life is so short and because of that... I won't be able to have the time to do every project that has crossed my mind. Sadness smothers me when I think about all those poems, short stories, screenplays, stage plays, and novels that I'll never have the time to write. Or how about those magazines, paintings, photographs, films, and sculptures I'd like to create? I had so much time... and I wasted it all, mostly, caught up in a haze of conformity. If I just slipped away from the restraints of conventional thinking years earlier, who knows what I could have accomplished by now. Alas, I am where I am and how I got here has very little importance anymore. It's how I live my future days that counts the most. I'll make myself the same promise; to live, to write, to explore, to travel, and to make mistakes. This upcoming year I shall still be a student of life. I'm a decade away from being a master of both literature and poker. If I study each subject with tenacious focus, I'll reap the benefits of my dilligent efforts in the next decade. For now, my energies will be focused on strengthening my liabilties, while capitalizing on my assets, and plodding forth on a path of creativity and personal enlightenment. Top 5 Highlights of The Last Year.. 1. Meeting Jodd 2. Going to Las Vegas twice with my brother 3. Reconnecting with Jerry in Miami 4. Seeing 24 out of the last 26 Phish shows 5. When Wil Wheaton read, then linked up the Tao of Poker to his blog By no means is this list in any specific order. They're all equally amazing moments I've had. I wish I could list them all. But these stand out as some of the points in my life when I felt truly lucky to be alive. Thanks My readers from all over the world, and all my fellow bloggers, and the numerous creative people in my life... all inspire me. Words like, "Thanks" can never do enough justice. One year later, I realize how blind I used to be, because all the inspiration I'll ever need had been surrounding me all along.  Mmmmm, German girls... By the way, nothing turns me on more than big-breasted German girls with an octuplet of beers. But then again, I'd be just as happy if Katie Holmes showed up with a five-pack pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon. Dream Poetry I had a dream last night. It was simply spectacular. I frantically scribbled down my thoughts. Here's what I wrote: In a mere gracious utterance, wholesome flowers wilt in the shadow of my wretchedness, for I am their executioner sending them to their inncoent deaths, tearing their souls in half to expose their barren existance. Memories of sunshine filled days can only be conjured up on idle afternoons as my rebellious prosperity privately sluaghtered my friends, signifying the end of a spree of heinous and grievous crimes. I can no longer comfortably sit on the grassy carpet owned by the pink-clad, malcontent heiress, constantly summering at the sea-walled estate on one of the royal islands, the largest one in the chain of Paradise, which is always overcast with envious clouds.I have no clue what I'm talking about either, so don't worry. | Permalink | Sunday, September 19, 2004
Eddie Adams Died  Siagon (1968) photo by Eddie Adams The photographer of one of the most famous photos died recently. Eddie Adams captured the shocking image of a bullet entering the head of a Vietcong prisoner in 1968. | Permalink | NFL Week 2 Best Bets Picks of the Week Chicago Bob (1-0): Jacksonsville +2 1/2 at home aginst Denver Zobo (1-0): St. Louis +3 against Atlanta Dr. Pauly (1-0): Green Bay -9 vs. Chicago Jodd (1-0): The Jets -3 at San Diego Poker Blogger of the Week... Snail Trax (1-0): Under in Denver/Jacksonville Rib Boy (0-1): Indy -1 over Tenn Parlay of the Week (0-1): The Packers, Detroit Rock City -3 to upend Houston, and the Jets -3. Upset of the Week (0-1): The Cards taking down Tom "GOP" Brady and New England! Rib Boy's Beating of the Week (0-1): Packers and the Cheeseheads to whoop da Bears The Skinny Week 1: It's still early, but it helps to get off to a good start. The Seachickens covered which made me pretty happy. The Blogger of the Week pick from Al Can't Hang pick panned out. Jodd and his Jets are 1-0, as are Zobo and Chicago Bob. Rib Boy picks didn't look too good. I missed my upset, but the lowly Texans made it somewhat close. Week 2: Chicago Bob loves home dogs. Jodd loves the Jets. I love Brett Favre against da Bears. Zobo is betting against his home time team. Should be an interesting week, as Snail Trax tries to keep the poker bloggers undefeated. | Permalink | Dingos and 34th Place Do dingos really eat babies? I wanted to find out. Alas, it was not meant to be. I am not going to Australia... yet. I finished in 34th place last night out of 73 other players in the $600 Aussie Million Satellite on Party Poker, with a prize pool of over $43,000. Top 3 places won seats/prize packages to the Australian Poker Championships, with some cash going through places 4-6. I pretty much folded everything last night (eveen folded AK twice!), and when I was shortstacked I moved all in with the Hilton Sisters and lost to AKs. Thanks to everyone, bloggers and readers alike, who stopped by to root me on. You guys rock. I wish I could have made it a little more interesting for you. Next time for sure. If I could win a seat in the satellite for just an $11 investment, I'm sure I can get back for a second chance. Due to time constraints, I will be unable to write a complete report this morning. Stay tuned, because tomorrow I'll post a recap of my week to the Tao of Poker, including a bunch of random tournaments I played online at Party Poker, including last night's satellite. Thanks again! Texas Bloggers The Joker from Bathtub Gin called me up last night from the Austin City Limits Music Festival. Trey Anastasio Band was playing and he called during First Tube. His band also played Stash as well. Anyway, the Joker posted some great political commentary about the upcoming election. Lone Star Molly blogged a funny story about her shoes that's worth checking out. Trey Anastaio Band Setlist, 9.18.04, Austin, TXSaturday Gambling Only two of my horses won yesterday; Captain Corelli and Knight of Darkness. Two of my other horses came in second. I kicked ass in my college football pool. I thought I was going to win the week after going 9-1 and calling the Auburn upset over LSU. Alas, my brother had a perfect week, going 10-0.The Yankees saved face and tied the series with the Red Sox after a Saturday thumping. The Americans are getting their asses handed to them in the Ryder Cup. The Europeans are outplaying the Yanks in every aspect of the game. On the poker front, I had a great day on Party Poker despite coming in 34th place, almost wiping out my losses over the previous three days. Yesterday's Writing Music Included... 1. Beastie Boys 2. Art Blakely 3. Widespread Panic 4. Jerry Garcia and David Grisman 5. Cream | Permalink | Saturday, September 18, 2004
Pot Freak Busted! 
I got the friggin' munchies, bro!!! Breaking news... a former child star tragically falls victim to the dark side of marijuana abuse! Ex-Child Star Macaulay Culkin Arrested on Drug Charges in Oklahoma During Traffic Stop is another sad story about a child star's decent into refer madness. Here's my favorite part: Photographers captured the scruffy-faced former prodigy strolling from jail dressed in a "New Yawk" shirt, a jacket and a baseball cap with "Pre-flop" written on it, an apparent poker reference. The young star is slated to play a celebrity poker tournament next month.So the Home Alone kid likes to smoke doobies, pop pain killers, and play poker. He can crash my party anytime. Does he have a poker blog too? | Permalink | Pauly and the Ponies I've been called a degenerate gambler from my peers. And those guys and gals are a hardcore group of serious gambling addicts. It's the fall, which means plenty of meaningless college football and professional football games to wager on. But I'm also involved in a horseracing pool with Al Cant Hang and Boy Genius. I'm in last place, but I think I got my groove back. Last week, I picked 3 winners in 6 races. Not great. That's roughy 20% of my horses won. I really dig the creativity behind horse names. I've written dozens of poems inspired solely on some of the more unusual names out there. So, which fifteen horses do I have this week? Belmont, Race 6: Derby Fever, Forest Rhythm, Devil's CommandI realized I'm betting on two horse with the word "bay" in it. | Permalink | 5 Lists of 5... I haven't done a few lists in a while, so let's do five of my favorite random topics... film, literature, donuts, and music.  No, I'll never ever pick this up. Last 5 Books I Saw People Reading on the Subway... 1. Jazz by Toni Morrison 2. Glass Menagerie by Tennesse Williams 3. The Holy Bible 4. The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini 5. Confessions of an Heiress by Paris Hilton My 5 Favorite Krispy Kreme Donuts... 1. Chocolate Glazed 2. Choolate Glazed Kruller 3. New York Cheesecake 4. Glazed Chocolate Ckae 5. Key Lime Pie Yesterday's Writing Music Included... 1. Radiohead 2. Velvet Underground 3. Miles Davis 4. Widespread Panic 5. Djano Reinhardt My 5 favorite Gene Hackman Films... 1. Hooisers 2. The French Connection 3. Poseidon Adevnture 4. The Royal Tenenbaums 5. Unforgiven Recent Poker Playing Music Included... 1. Charlie Hunter 2. Trey Anastasio Band 3. The Grateful Dead 4. Toots & the Maytals 5. John Coltrane | Permalink | Wild Weekend "A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic."- George Bernard ShawTonight I play in the Aussie Million satellite on Party Poker. That should be one of the biggest events I ever played in online. I'm itching to go to Australia, which will happen if I come in first place. I was supposed to play on Wednesday, but due to techical problems, the tournament was cancelled. I bet heavily on the Bloody Yanks in this weekend's Ryder Cup golf matches. Yesterday, I was watched Dan Harrington's cousin play against Tiger Woods and Phil Mickleson (in between flipping back and forth between CNBC and Dawson's Creek). Of course it's always an event when the Yankees go heads up with the Red Sox. This weekend's series will have an October-post-season flavor to the the greatest rivalry in baseball. There's a lot of tough college games this weekend. Auburn-LSU could be a thriller. Week 2 of the NFL has a few trap games... like that Atlanta-Rams game. The local bookies (Vinny and the infamous Cologne Brothers) are putting the Hotlanta at a 3 point favorite. My brother smelled a trap right away. I'm tempted but I won't go there. Instead let's double up on my Jets! They never play well on the road in California, but after last week's glimpse of a rejuvenated Curtis Martin, I can't help but think he's going to run all over them and show LDT that he's still the dude. I'm 1-0 in my fantasy football league ($2200 to the winner) and Uncle Jodd's Band is 4th in points overall. Last year we only won two games so we're excited about our victory in week one. Next weekend has the potential to be one of those epic adventures where at least someone goes to a hospital or jail... or both. Al Can't Hang has his yearly monster party. He's be telling me about it since May. I had my calendar marked since then. OK, that's not entirely truthful. I don't own a wall calendar. But, I've been carrying around a piece of paper in my pocket that says, "Al Can't Hang Party 9.25 Philly." So far, we have confirmations from several poker bloggers: Iggy, Boy Genius, and Carter from Cubanlinks.org. I heard that Sean might be dropping by... as well as the Grubmiester. Before BG and Iggy committed, I already made plans to hit the Borgata in Atlantic City with Al and Mrs. Hang. Now, Iggy can bankroll me into the $30-60 game. Just kidding. We'll be combining bankrolls and staking Mrs. Cant Hang. My brother can't make it for the festivities. He's got a friend in from outta town and he has to show him the city. He's bummed out. The only poker bloggers he got to meet were Felicia and Glenn. How many poker bloggers have I met? Well, I met Felicia and Glenn in Vegas in April. I met Ugarte (and through him Signor Ferrari and Rick Blaine from Rick's Cafe and Asphnxma from Riding the F Train.) I met Daddy from Snail Trax at one of the Phish shows in Indiana. On my way back from Phish tour, I stopped by Boy Genius' home game and met Lord Geznikor and one of the brother's of BG. Hopefully I'll meet Monte Christo soon. I had a chance to meet up with Poker Chronicles and Double As on Thursday, but never had the time to go down to Atlantic City. Speaking of which, I'm still waiting to hear how Riding the F Train fared yesterday. He played in the $1500 NL event at the Borgata. Motherless Child I recently commented on Maudie's site that I think she might be my illegitimate mother. Here's how she responded: Pauly I can't think of a better illegitimate child to have than you... I'm sure my girls would allow an addition to the menagerie as long as you follow Maudie's rules:Hmmm. Paris isn't exactly the kind of girl you bring home to meet Aunt Maudie. Now, that Katie Holmes... she's a whole different story. Hope for America  One of the protestors outside one of Paris' book signings. Paris Hilton has a new book out and a group of people known as H.O.P.E. were protesting everyone's favorite hotel heiress. Here's their mission statement: We at H.O.P.E. have a simple stated mission: to bring quality to the world of entertainment while working outside of the traditional network, record label, and studio structure. It is our "hope" that by voicing our feelings and concerns to the powers that be a better tomorrow, and not The Day After Tomorrow, is only around the corner for the good people of the United States of America, the world, and beyond.Yeah these folks are hardcore. They're slogan was: "Read a book. Don't write one!" Here's a little inside information... Paris Hilton never picked up a pen or typed a single keystroke in the construction of her book. Fucked Up Super Freak!! I almost pissed in my pants when I read this blurb called Tests Shows Rick James Died of a Heart Attack. Here's a bit: The coroner's office also listed focal pneumonia and "effects of multiple drugs" as other conditions contributing to the cause of death.Like I said. Super Freak was fucked up! Man, that's one helluva binge... gives me flashbacks of 1998. | Permalink | Friday, September 17, 2004
Last 5 Flicks I Watched... 1. Spinal Tap 2. The Grey Zone 3. The Missing 4. Henry V 5. Dinner Rush | Permalink | Top 10 Phish One of my readers, Rob, sent me this email: I've got a challenge for you: What are your Top 10 specific *live* Phish renditions? (For example, "Wolfman's Brother, Coventry Day Two, 2004") No song may be repeated more than once. Venue and date required.That's a great idea, Rob. Here's my answers. Sorry it took me so long. I wish I had more time to really get into this idea! I'll elaboarte more soon. This are the best versions I saw... live. 1. Wolfman's Brother, 6.13.00, Club Quatro, Nagoya, JapanStay tuned. I'll be working on the best live versions... ever. | Permalink | Strides "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."- Lao TzuMy mind has been cluttered with interpreting the plenty of shit that was shoveled onto my plate from others the past week or so. I woke up to a heavy day, my shoulders aching from the invisible load of mental baggage I had been slugging around. To remedy my frazzled mind, I wandered the streets of New York City in an attempt to figure those though questions out. I walked the noisome streets without any specific intended destination, sometimes sober, sometimes buzzed, allowing my mind to brainstorm solutions to the pressing problems. All the answers are inside of me. It just takes a while until my brain warms up and my courageous intelligence leaps forward and siezes control of the frantic breakdown in my ability to make proper decisions. I don't know how I started, but I was on 157th Street and Broadway in Harlem or as the gentrificators and hipsters fondly dub it... Hamilton Heights. I began walking south. One of the routine questions I found myself pondering on was this: Do I worry too much or too little about the direction of my life? Most of the time, I think I spend too much internal dialogue discussing the day to day worries. But on the tougher days, I can't help but wonder, "You're barely keeping it all together." We had an expression on Wall Street, "You're only one trade away from humility." Poker players would agree from experience that you can easily go bankrupt on one hand. To be or not to be? I was on 143rd Street near a bodega, when I muttered, "Hamlet, thank God, I'm not you, you Danish waffler." Should I stop being a pussy and keep plodding forward? Or should I slow down and realize how lucky I've been living the last decade and a half of my life with brazen recklessness? Have I reached my limits as the prodigal son? That's when I stopped in my tracks in the middle of a street, a thundering shock of clarity striking my gut. Paralyzed for a second, I narrowly escaped being hit by a speeding gypsy cab and came to my senses amid a barrage of Spanish curse words raining down my way. How foolish was I to even question my agenda? I live how I am, and that's how it shall be. The quick banishment of those demure thoughts instantly energized my stride. With the usurpation of an onset of sudden depression, I continued walking with more confidence. With my head on straight, the time had come to hunker down and take a quick mental and moral inventory of my profane life. I failed to use the advantages of my mind and lofty creativity, for years not allowing myself to have the faith that some of my projects could pan out, instead yielding to the stench of fearful bending failure that often leaves behind in it's wake of a dust cloud of failed dreams. For many years that fiery portal of random ideas has been closed and on many occasions I willingly clogged it up with crimson tempests such as work, relationships, drugs, and religion. For God. For pussy. For the Man. For the buzz. | Permalink | Thursday, September 16, 2004
Postponed Thanks to everyone who showed up to root me on in the Aussie Million Satellite last night on Party Poker. Twenty-seven players entered with one first place Aussie prize package going to the winner. Second place would have gotten $1800, third place $1080, and fourth place $720. Due to a problem with their server, the tournament never started at 11:15 pm, and I sat at my table for twenty minutes before I called up support. Everyone was seated but the tourney never began. I was on hold for ten minutes before support told me that the tournament would be canceled. That was thirty minutes after the scheduled start time. I was irked. A lot of people contacted me during the day asking me for my screen name so they could watch. I felt bad for them. My brother stayed up late to watch and had to get up early to go to work, as did plenty of the other players. Party Poker failed to properly communicate the problem status with any of the tournament players. I never would have found out what was up unless I called them. Here's the email they sent me: We apologize for the inconvenience caused to you.I don't know how some of you prepare for a big poker game or a tournament. For me, I try to have a mellow day leading up to game time. Since the tournament was scheduled for 11:15pm and I got up very early, I had a full day in which I did everything possible not to slip into an anxious groove. The half hour before the event started was when I began to psyche myself up. I was mentally prepared by the time I sat down. When the delayed happened, I had to wait without knowing the status of the tourney. That was taxing. I tried not to get too outta whack and lose my focus on the game, but I was agitated due to Party Poker's fuck up. I was treating last night like a fist fight. I was ready to viciously throw down and get my ass kicked. If I was going to lose, I was going to go down swinging. You didn't expect me to just fold away my chance at a shot at $1 Million Aussie bucks, did you? You can imagine the state of mind I was in when I was told, "You won't be brawling tonight." The tournament has been rescheduled for Saturday Sept. 18th at 11:15 pm EST. I have a free roll to play in that one and I'll be signing up. My only problem is that I think there will be more players in this event. I really liked my chances when I had a 1 in 27 chance at winning. A Saturday night satellite will probably draw more entrants than a Wednesday night one. I'll drop to a 1 in 50 shot now. All because Party Poker dropped the ball. Thanks again for everyone who stopped by. Your support is humbling. If you have nothing to do on Saturday, feel free to stop by and say hello. | Permalink | Wednesday, September 15, 2004
Wednesday's Politco Roundup: 48 Days Editor's Note: I published this entry to my poli-blog This Side of the Truth. Check it out. With 48 days to go in the election, my gut feeling tells me that Bush is going to be President for four more years. John Kerry's camp blew the election after they failed to properly handle the Swift Boat mess shortly before the RNC. He should have blown it off, moved forward, and focused everyone's attention on domestic issues. Instead he whined and moaned which turned off older voters who are sensitive to Vietnam-era related issues, and pushed a slew of angry veterans over to the Bush side. Bush beat Kerry to the punch and preyed on the fears of the voters. The message the RNC was clear, "Not everyone likes me. I don't give a shit about France. I make decisions and who's Al Qaeda more afraid of?" Democrats or Republicans, we're all the same. Some people on this planet hates us because we're Americans. Four years of a different ruling party won't change the world's view. This past week Dan Rather and CBS got their hands dirty in the latest Vietnam shit storm. Was someone trying to frame George Bush and foolishly used a computer to forge a 1970s era military memo? Or was someone trying to frame CBS? If anything this instance once again shows that two mainstream media giants, both the NY Times and 60 Minutes lack any credibility and professional integrity. Those organizations are full of pompous idiots who can't even accomplish simple tasks like fact checking. The NY Times and their anti-Bush administration agenda and 60 Minutes are on the same level the Weekly World News and Entertainment Tonight in my eye. And kudos to the blogging community who covered both the NYC-RNC protests and Dan Rather's Memogate better than all the major news organizations combined. With less than 50 days to go Kerry's numbers are slipping. He keeps denying the fact that Bush's numbers took a huge bounce in the week after the RNC. And everyone knows the more John Kerry talks about Vietnam, the more people are giving up on him and moving towards Bush. His team thinks Kerry will smoke Bush in the debates. Who's really going to watch two rich stiffs debate about who had a bigger dick in 1969? Does anyone know when they'll be on? Most of the swing voters will be working their second jobs, or surfing online for porn or watching Kill Bill Vol. 2 during these televised debates. We all heard Dick Cheney's assertions that a John Kerry Presidency will ensure a new attack. People were up in arms about that... but I happen to agree with our Veep. At least with Bush in office, you know some of the bad guys are constantly looking over their shoulder. But what I want to know is where the hell is John Edwards? He's been absent since the convention. Bubba Clinton went under the knife for heart surgery. That leaves only Hollyweird and Michael Moore left to stump for Kerry. On the other hand, the GOP is pulling out the big guns. Arnold. Rudy. McCain. They're flying all over America, pressing palms in swing states and talking up Bush to the picket fence crowds. I don't see ant of those Hollyweird hipsters rolling up the sleeves and mingling with the common folk at town hall meetings in small Ohio towns, nibbling on apple cobbler and chatting with the town's cheap-suit wearing Mayor. Seems like they're almost giving up on the Kerry bandwagon. They talk a good talk, but when it comes down to it... this Kerry campaign was like a bad Hollywood movie. The previews looked great however it lacked substance, had a poorly scripted plot, and was filled with redundant themes from shallow characters... but in real life, they won't have a happy cheesy ending tying up all the loose ends. Unless Michael Moore gets to direct the project. Moore-itis Moore-itis is running ramapant through Hollyweird, or as one conservative writer dubbed it... Moore Disease. After the huge fundraiser at MSG a few months ago featuring plenty of musicians, it made me wonder, "How sincere are the celebrity supporters of Kerry?" I'm sure a large percentage of their support (much like Kerry's core supporters) is rooted in sheer hatred for our President, so they are of the NOT BUSH crowd. But like so many other trends in Hollywood, how many celebs are jumpping on the anti-Bush bandwagon? Out of "group think" mentality? For free publicity? Or because it's the cool thing to do like Yoga a few years ago, Kabbalah last year, and celebrity poker this year? Behind closed doors, celebrities, the real ones (none of this B-celebrity bullshit), the uber-rich snobs whop refuse to fly coach or have the picture snapped by paparazzi... might bash Bush to their friends and in front of the bright lights... but they have more to lose financially if a Democrat is elected into office. Cheney has been pushing forth the elimantion of the death tax and many other legislation in tax policy that favors the wealthy (and big business... and these people happen to own or have their hands in major studios and other business deals). Will Kerry the Liberal tax the rich and give away to the poor? Bush will protect their big bank accounts and on Election Day that's the last thing that goes through their mind after their limo driver dropped them off to vote. Those hypocrites mouth off on the hot trend du jour... but in the end, you can't trust anyone who makes more than $5 Million for a single film role. Actors at heart... are liars. The give away prizes every year for the best liar... it's called the Oscars. At whole it's a good idea for celebrities to use their public popularity to encourage lazy Americans to get involved in politics... but there's a fine line in pushing forth their own selfish, political agendas, than encourage people to give back to their communities and immerse themselves in politics on three levels... international, national, and local. Boo Birds On a sad note, I heard that there were a few idiots in Texas who decided to show up at a candlelight vigil of a fallen solider. The anti-war protesters taunted his mother and booed and hissed her. That was uncalled for. You don't do that to the mother of a slain soldier. That young man died for their right to protest and assemble and watch cable TV, and that's how they thank his mother? Ralph Nader finally got onto the ballot in Florida. With more votes getting pulled away from the arrogant Dems, it looks like Bush can now lock up that swing state after hurricane season ravished Florida and their residents focus is more on their personal situations than national politics. Yep, old man Nader is still hanging tough. Here's some interesting things that his site says about the crap he's been getting for three years about costing Al Gore the election in 2000: Al Gore won the election in 2000. George W. Bush cost Al Gore the election.Stop picking on Ralph about 2000. Without a third party's role in our government, our future will be continued to be ruled by first class assholes. Nader is trying to teach the Democrats a lesson and they're too smug to listen and include all those Americans who truly want a change in the entire system. And that's why Bush is going to stay in office. With 48 days left, there's no way Kerry can get his shit together to win this upcoming election. | Permalink | Dukes of Hazzard Johnny Knoxville? Stiffler? Jessica Simpson? Who's going to be Uncle Jesse? The rumors that the Dukes of Hazzard tv show will be a major motion picture are true. Unreal. I thought Britney was supposed to play Daisy Duke? Hmmmmmm. | Permalink | 16 Hours Until Australia: Maybe a Dingo Ate Your Baby? At 11:15pm EST... I'll be logging into Party Poker to play in the $600 buy-in Aussie Million Satellite. The winner gets an all expenses paid trip (and entry fees into two different events) to the Australia Poker Championships in January of next year. The Crown Casino in Melbourne will be giving away $1,000,000 Aussie bucks. Am I nervous? Not really. I'm anxious more than anything. Didn't sleep well at all, and will spend most of today relaxing and writing. Yesterday, I played a warm-up event... a qualifier to a satellite for the European Open... and I came in 4th place out of 80. I played well and I'm on my game right now. If the field is small tonight (less than 40 players) then I really like my chances. If you want to watch me play, you can download the softyware from Party Poker. Make sure you mention my bonus code: TAO4 if you end up signing up for a real money account. (You do not have to deposit money right away to watch me play.) I usually get a few cyber railbirds watching me play and tonight will be no different. Hopefully, I'll have great news for you tomorrow. I have never been to Australia and I'd totally love the opportunity to travel to an exotic land, get drunk in their bars, puke in their streets, and take pictures of dingos, wombats, kangaroos, and koala bears. Yesterday's Poker Playing Music... 1. Medeski, Martin & Wood 2. Charlie Hunter 3. Galactic 4. John Coltrane 5. Crusader Rabbit | Permalink | 5 Random Things I Miss About Living in the South: 1. Waffle House at 3am 2. Sweet Tea 3. Cute girls with those twangy accents 4. Atlanta Braves baseball 5. Two words: Mmmmmm biscuits! | Permalink | Pauly's Pub Fantasy Pools Update For complete updates and standings, visit: Pauly's Pub. Thanks to everyone who signed up. Austin Drunks tops the College Pool, Bad Blood and Jerry are tied for the lead in the pro football pool, and BG and his Trained Professionals are winning the Grid Iron pool. How are my teams doing? Not so good. Last year's co-champ in the pro football pool, Shakedown Street, got off to a slow start and my second sheet Punch You in the Eye is barely in the top 10. I thought my team for Grid Iron was going to be the best on the league. Alas, Mary-Kate's Nosebleed sputtered to the middle of the pack and my college picks haven't been panning out. Pro Football Pool - Week 1 Results Team(s) of the Week: Mosh Pit Badblood 44 and Team Engel Week 1 & Overall Results 1 MoshPit badblood44 11 1 Engel Entry 11 3 McNamara Entry 10 3 All In 10 3 Bobby BigBalls 10 3 Austin Drunks 10 7 The Brooklyn Embeds 9 7 Chico's Bail Bonds 9 7 Punch You in the Eye 9 (My 2nd Team) 7 manny and ortiz 9 11 Lovelace Leapsloth 8 11 All My Sweet Bitches 8 11 Uwannabet? 8 11 Coach's Picks 8 15 Smokin Ricky Entry1 7 15 Oyster Bay Moore 7 15 PayMeNow 7 15 Cumberland Blues 7 15 Twinkle & Turquoise 7 15 Shakedown Street 7 (My first team) 21 BiG PERM BiG WORM 6 21 Ugarte's Last Stand 6 21 Snot Bubbles 6 21 Drunk Norsemen 6 25 WhereMy NillasAt? 4 25 Running Back Ribs 4 The Skinny: The heavily favored Rams failed to cover and the Browns upended teh Ravens for another wild start to the season. There were a handful of games that were decided by a point or less... those can make or break your season. Week 2's games look tougher than week 1. Best of luck and congrats to Jerry and Bad Blood... who got off to a nice start. Grid Iron - Week 1 Team of the Week: Trained Professionals Week 1 Results and Overall Standings: 1 Trained Professional 145 2 The Brooklyn Embeds 144 3 Your Enemies Friend 131 4 Rib Boy's Latrells 127 5 Mary-Kate's Nosebleed 125 6 Porkchops & Applesauce 121 7 Uncle Jodd's Band 114 8 Robber Barons 96 The Skinny: Boy Genius and his team got off to a hot start in a week where some players put up huge numbers (Culpepper, Holmes, TO). Week 2 - College Football Pool Team of the Week: Austin Drunks & Chico Bail Bonds Week 2 Results: 1 Chico's Bail Bonds 38 2 Austin Drunks 38 3 Ugarte's Last Stand 37 4 Killer Gophers 36 5 Buckeye! 35 5 AlCantHang 34 7 The Venetian Blinds 34 8 WhatyaTalkin AboutWillis? 33 8 Sheer Entry 33 10 Landow 31 11 Porkchops & Apple Sauce 19 12 Cumberland Blues N/A Overall Standings: 1 Austin Drunks 87 2 Chico's Bail Bonds 84 3 The Venetian Blinds 82 4 AlCantHang 81 4 Buckeye! 81 6 Killer Gophers 74 6 Landow 74 8 Ugarte's Last Stand 73 9 Sheer Entry 70 9 WhatyaTalkin AboutWillis? 70 11 Porkchops & Apple Sauce 55 12 Muff State Pie Boys 37 13 Cumberland Blues 0 The Skinny: Notre Dame threw Michigan for an early season upset. Iowa made their game closer then it should have been. Georgia Tech came from behind and upended Clemsen. Another wild week in college football. | Permalink | Tuesday, September 14, 2004
Birthday Greetings Today is Mrs. Can't Hang Day! The wife of everyone's favorite drinker and poker blogger is having a birthday. I hope it's a good one. Best wishes in the upcoming year. Here's what Al Can't Hang said on his blog today: 31 years ago today, the future Mrs. CantHang was born in Bumblefook, NY. I still can't believe this lovely young lady puts up with all my degenerate behavior. You would think she could at least teach my how to play poker.Ditto! | Permalink | My 5 Favorite Grateful Dead Albums... 1. American Beauty 2. Terrapin Station 3. Live 4. Workingman's Dead 5. Mars Hotel | Permalink | Words Like Clorox "What do I know of man's destiny? I could tell you more about radishes."- Samuel BeckettMondays. I wandered around the city, half buzzed, half stoned, and half awake, and I talked to homeless kids and doormen and street vendors. They were as bored as I was. They had no answers and neither did I. Sometimes, I wandered over to the book vendors in the Village. They populated the Southeast corner of Washington Square Park near NYU and catered to the majority of students who needed books for various classes. Sometimes I visited the booksellers near Astor Place, by the Noguchi cube. I became friends with the older woman that ran one of the tables near St. Mark's Place. Her husband, Carlo, died a few years earlier, and I used to buy green tea off of from him. She did not continue Carlo's profitable side business of green tea distribution, but she gave me books at half price. That was a deposit. If I returned the book in the same condition I bought it, she'd give me the money back, or I'd get to pick another book. I always picked books that I wanted to read but not buy, or books that I had been curious to read and never did, or something I read once before but wanted to thumb through a second or third time. Obviously, I did not borrow books that I wanted to keep, just those I knew I'd be bummed out after I spent $15 for a new copy of Identity by Milan Kundera, and then it did nothing but collect dust on my shelf, because it was something that I would not have recommended to my friends, and I would have been embarrassed to give away a book that I did not enjoy. Carlo's wife hooked me up and I always wondered if she was going to sell books on the same corner for the rest of her life. She did not know what else to do. I assumed that books were her life and made her happy. I was shocked to find out that she stopped reading many years earlier. "After a while, the words lose meaning," she flippantly said one blazing summer afternoon almost a decade ago, while I waited with her while Carlo went back to his apartment to fetch me my bag of green tea. I've written more in the last three days than I did in a long time. I just looked at the clock. In less than 48 hours, I'll find out if I won a trip to Australia. I told Mr. Dickhead I'd bring him with me if I won. Writing Music Tonight Included... 1. Talking Heads 2. Radiohead 3. Steely Dan 4. Traffic 5. Johnny Cash | Permalink | Monday, September 13, 2004
Ghostzapper "The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently."- NietzscheI found out some unfortunate news this past weekend. My father's mother, my 95 year old grandmother, passed away. Sad, right? Here's the fucked up part. My father, nor anyone from his side of the family, bothered to tell me or my brother. They held funeral services and a wake... without inviting me. And here's the other doozy. Two of my father's sisters died of cancer all around the same time as my grandmother, and again, no one said a single word to me about that. My relationships with virtually everyone in my family (both sides) are nonexistent (with the exception of my brother). Sure, when I was working on Wall Street, I was treated like an actual human being. The minute I took off the suit and started to honestly comment about the society we live in... I'm regarded as a nonentity. And you betcha the day I get to a level of recognizable fame or if I make the "TV table" at a major poker tournament... I'll get the call. I'll get hundreds of phone calls, from long lost family members and old friends. I really feel sorry for those fools. I've lost a lot of respect for a lot of people in my life. I guess my standards were too high. The failure to inform me about the funeral is another incident in a running series of tragic disappointments that I find myself having to deal with every few months. I wonder if my choice in careers and lifestyle directly attributed to the cold reasoning behind my exclusion from the family. But it's not the first time that's happened to me, and I haven't completely flipped out, because I know it won't be the last. I'm an easy target and I often catch the brunt of people's emotional baggage and their inability to control their own psychological inadequacies, self esteem issues, personal failures, and lack of originality. It's been happening in my family for three decades and every day I see more of my friends slip away as they fall as victim to their own bitterness and they coldly toss me aside like an old pair of pants that they'd never wear out in public. I know we live in an empty, Godless, meaningless universe, and you all know it too, so stop the fucking around, get off your high horses and realize that we're all headed to the same place... the void of nothingness. Chill out, relax, and stop the scorn. I've been too busy to get angry or sad. Why should I devote any energy towards people who don't give a rats ass about me? I keep moving forward. My life is more important that the mind numbing drama everyone else tries to suck me into. I have deadlines. I have piles of books stacked to the ceiling that I want to read. I have money I need to make if I want to travel more in 2005 than I did this year. I have hours of videos footage to view and edit. I have a few meaningful relationships (some old and some new) that I'd like to devote more time cultivating and strengthening. I have my poker game to improve upon. Which reminds me... that I have far more important personal things to worry about that routine family shit. I have a chance to turn $11 into an all expenses paid trip to Melbourne, Australia in January. I've already discussed the possibility of an extended holiday on that side of the hemisphere after the tournament... that is, if I can win on Wednesday on Party Poker and win the prize package. I've also been trying to win a trip a poker tournament in London next month. I'm trying to use poker as my means of seeing more of the world. It's expensive to travel, but it feels good that I can generate income out of nothing by riding the waves of good luck. So what's up with Ghostzapper? It's the name of one of the winning horses I picked this past Saturday at Belmont Racetrack. I picked winners in three out of six races. Not too shabby, eh? I used to bet big on the ponies, and I all but stopped betting on animals. Pro football players are a whole other story. Jodd is good luck. Senor and I named our fantasy football team (Uncle Jodd's Band) after his son... and we won our first game! It feels great to start the season 1-0 after a horrible performance in last year's pool. I could write more, but I already spent more time than I wanted to babbling about family stuff. I have short stories to write and an interesting life to lead. I got no time to waste sucking up to those swine. | Permalink | Sunday, September 12, 2004
NFL Week 1 Best Bets The experts have been spoken. Last year's guru... Rib Boy... took down the bragging rights as the Tao of Pauly's expert pro football handicapper, taking down Chicago Bob on the last week of the season. Time for everyone to put their money where thier mouth's are! Picks of the Week Rib Boy: Balt -3 over Cleveland Chicago Bob: Minny -5 over Dallas Zobo: Tenn -3 at Miami Dr. Pauly: The Seachickens - 2 1/2 at New Orleans Jodd: The Jets -4 1/2 over Cincy Poker Blogger of the Week... Al Can't Hang: Seattle - 2 1/2 over New Orleans The Skinny Week 1: Yeah, I'm going with the Seachickens early in the season in what will be an easy game. I also like The Jets and Baltimore. My Parlay of the Week: NYJ -4, Balt -3, and Sea. Zobo is already off to a hot start after Tenn knocked off Miami yesterday. Upset of the Week: Houston kocking off LT and the Chargers. Rib Boy's Beating of the Week: The Rams to whoop on the lowly Cards. | Permalink | One Step Away from the Australian Poker Championships "I must create a system, or be enslaved by another man's."- William BlakeVisit the Tao of Poker to read about how I won a tournament last night on Party Poker. It was a single table tournament and I beat out 9 other people to win a seat in the $600 Aussie Million Satellite on Wednesday night on Party Poker. If I win that tournament... then I win an all expenses paid trip to Melbourne and the infamous Crown Casino to play in the 2005 Australian Poker Championships. Here's a bit of what I wrote: I never been there before. I'm always looking for excuses to travel to exotic lands and get obliterated in dive bars while hitting on the local soused female population. But hey, let's not shoot my entire load before I even get the condom on...In case you were wondering, USD = US Dollars and AUD = Australian Dollars. If I win on Wednesday, I will get to play in two different events next January! Let's see if I can catch enough cards and bluff my way to Australia to try to win a Million Kangaroo bucks. | Permalink | Friday, September 10, 2004
Last 5 Books I Saw People Reading on the Subway... 1. The Holy Bible 2. The Other Woman by Eric Jerome Dickey 3. The DaVinci Code by Dan Brown 4. Divided in Death by J.D. Robb 5. Skinny Dip by Carl Haissen Pieces of Pauly What did I eat on Wednesday? I woke up and devoured an Everything bagel with extra butter. Lunch was Vodka Penne pasta with a side order of mozzarella sticks. I had the #6 at Wendy's before my fantasy football draft. The #6 is the spicy chicken sandwich, and yes I got the Biggie sized action, with a fat ass iced tea. My only problem with Wendy's is that they don't have sweet tea... it's sans sweet. | Permalink | Confessions of a NYC Escort! Alexa from A New York Escorts Confessions sent me an email recently. She digs the Tao of Poker and plays online at Party Poker. She started her own blog and was nice enough to link up this blog. Here's her tagline: I'm a twenty-something New York escort. I love Prada, Seven jeans, and Jimmy Choos. I'm also totally addicted to Starbucks' grande non-fat white mocha and working out.You should take a peek at her site and hopefully we'll get to catch a glimpse of the life as an escort. | Permalink | Biscuits? An ex-girlfriend of mine once said, "You can put your boots in the oven, but that don't make them biscuits." She was from central Texas and had all these pearls of Texas wisdom that had been passed along to her from previous generations. I usually had a hard time figuring out what she was talking about. I guess if I had been wandering around the streets of Austin, drunk and armed, I might have figured it all out. Alas, one afternoon, while sitting at a poker table in Las Vegas, I reached a moment of clarity. I finally picked up on what the fuck she was talking about... albeit five years too late. OK, so it took me a half a decade, but at least I can say I had been pondering various topics of Texas Philosophy for the better part of the 21st Century. And I'm not going to explain this one to you. Do your own homework. | Permalink | Bands I've Seen At Least 45 Times Live in Concert... 1. Phish 2. The Grateful Dead 3. Galactic 4. Widespread Panic 5. Allman Brothers Band | Permalink | Thursday, September 09, 2004
My 5 Favorite Beatles Albums... 1. Abbey Road 2. Revolver 3. The White Album 4. Sgt. Pepper's 5. Magic Mystery Tour | Permalink | Uncle Jodd's Band Last night, I sat through four long ass hours at my fantasy football league draft. The NYC area was hit hard with the last bits of Hurricane Frances and a shitload of rain was dumped on the city and surrounding areas. Half our league lives on Long Island and the draft was scheduled to be in NYC at 7pm. The LI guys never made it due to horrible flooding and had to draft players via online. That function was already set up for several teams (1/3 of our league) who live in Miami and the LI boys hopped abaord. And only the city guys made the draft... live in person. My partner and principle owner, Senor, lives in Providence, RI, so I had to be at the draft since he couldn't make it. The drafting process was slow, especially with 14 teams. I had the second pick. It was easy. Here's my team: Uncle Jodd's BandI made a risky move picking up Kevin Jones on Detroit. I like what I've seen this preseason. I felt much better this morning when Boy Genius gave me a thumbs up on the starting RB on his homestate team. These 14 team leagues are insane!! $360 per team with $2200 to the winner... it's a crap shoot. But I like Priest Holmes, one of my favorite players to watch in the NFL! In true tradition, I drafted one NY Jet... Anthony Becht in the 15th round!! I had the chance to pick Pennington, but opted for Bulger instead. I would go nuts if I had to watch my fantasy QB every weekend! I'm excited. When I told my brother who I drafted he seemed much more optimistic about our team's chances this season. We got the second best back in the NFL in Priest Holmes. Charlie Garner was our #1 back last season... and this year he's third string! Our WRs are more deadly than last year and I could start any of the three main guys (Horn, Kennison, Driver). I like our special teams... Carlina's D and Adam Vinetari... as much as I hate the NE Pats... he's a solid kicker and you get extra points for long fiedl goals. Last year my QBs were: Vinny Testaverde, Jake Plummer, and Donavon McNabb. At one point, Jake the Snake was hurt, McNabb was playing awful, and we started Vinny! Our team is riding on the shoulders of Marc Bulger. Let's hope he has another kick ass year. | Permalink | Wednesday, September 08, 2004
Potential Pissed Off Pussy Wow. The power of bloggery. I just reread a blog from Boy Genius. Here's what he wrote: I just had the impulse to rank all the girls I’ve ever dated on a scale of worst-to-first. And guess what? I’m censoring myself.I could never get away with a stunt like that. I'd get shot if I ever named names. However, I decided to rank the Top 10 in my short life and it was one fun list to make out. The top six were easy, it was the last four spaces that were tough. All the candidiates were well qualified, but I stand by my choices. I won't be giving real names, instead they women will be ranked as colors. Before I began I randomly drew crayons out of a hat. Each woman was given a different Crayola color. Only I know the color key!! I'll let you guess who's who. And here you go... My Top 10: 1. Teal Blue 2. Screamin Green 3. Burnt Sienna 4. Scarlet 5. Forest Green 6. Brick Red 7. Magenta 8. Midnight Blue 9. Laser Lemon 10. Bittersweet I'm going to get in a lot of trouble for this, but what the fuck right? Maybe I'll have a contest. Submit your answers. One with the most correct wins a box of Crayolas! | Permalink | 5 Things I'll Never Order at McDonald's... 1. McFish 2. Fiesta Salad 3. Fruit and Yogurt Parfait 4. Spanish Omelete Bagel 5. McGriddle | Permalink | Uncle Jodd's Band Today, I have my fantasy football draft. For a second year in a row, Senor and I joined forces and submited a team in the Lamont Jordan Fantasy Football League run by some of Gitty's friend's from Oceanside. Last year, we got our asses kicked after a lackluster draft. Our only highlight was getting the high score one week and winning the $50 bonus. When I was hanging out with Senor at The Dead show in Great Woods, we decided that we would name our team using a Dead related theme. After some thought, I came up with: Uncle Jodd's Band. There's a famous Grateful Dead song called Uncle John's Band, penned by lyricist Robert Hunter. I just tweaked it a bit, and included Jodd somehow. When I suggested our team name to Senor, he loved it right away. And there began our quest to win it all. Drawing insipration from Jodd and the fat man himself, Jerry Garcia, we're going to go all the way. The league ain't cheap. Some of these guys are complete football nerds. They've been plotting strategy since the season ended last year. We're up against some good general managers out there. Here's what's at stake: Entry Fee: $ 360.00Man, $2200 for the winning team? Are you kidding me? That's $1100 each for me and Senor! We have to give Jodd his cut too. Anyway, I'm hoping to improve upon my lackluster performance as the general manager of Chronically Blunted. We were doomed from the start and lackluster performances from both Charlie Garner and McNabb early in the year hurt us. This year... we have the second pick. Not too shabby. This year's pick will be simple. I'm taking either Priest Holmes or LaDamian Tomlison... whoever isn't picked #1. Feels somewhat comforting early on. Second round and third round will be the tough in a 14 team league. RBs go fast and I'm hoping there will be someone left. | Permalink | A Katie Holmes Question Boy Genius posed this question to me on his blog: Here’s a curiosity question I’ll aim at Pauly, simply due to his fascination with Katie Holmes, but feel free to tell me what you think as well...I have no idea how to answer that right now. Lemme think about it, BG, and I'll get back to you! Any suggestions frommy brilliant readers? | Permalink | Tuesday, September 07, 2004
Southern Fried Bubba Sunday began less than perfect. I didn't wake up in Las Vegas with a wad of cash in my pocket. Instead, I was awakened by a distressing phone call from my maternal unit. Within thirty-eight seconds I was pissed off, ready to embark upon a belligerent spree of insanity, on the verge of tearing the ears of an adorable puppy and stealing the Meals on Wheels Van en route to the local nursing home and crashing it into the nearest Starbucks, sending dozens of hipsters sprawling for cover, with El Salvador Estate Pacamara coffee beans raining upon them in a storm of smooth, delicate flavors and a caramelly aroma. In my frazzled state, I settled down for some relaxation therapy. That unfortunately made me late for brunch downtown. I ended up missing the subway by six seconds. The doors were open as I slid my Metrocard through the turnstile and a just few feet before I could reach the doors, they abruptly closed. I would have easily made the train if I hadn't gotten stuck on the stairs behind two fat women. They were taking forever and when I kinda cleared my throat to hint at them to move over so I can sneak by, they both slowed down. I've been playing a lot of poker and body language is everything. They gave off the vibe, "I'm fucking fat. I ain't moving my ass over for nobody. My thighs are chaffing for Christ's sake. So fuck you, Cracker!" Because some New Yorker couldn't lick her high fructose corn syrup habit and Supersized herself into obesity, I was stuck on the platform for ten minutes until the next subway came. Thank God it had air conditioning. Sitting in the cool subway car was great until the Jesus Freaks hopped aboard, wearing their best clothes, clutching their bibles, and those intoxicating smiles. Yeah, the same smiles I see on coke fiends after they snorted a rail of Colombia flakes the size of John Holmes' junk. The subways on Sundays mornings in NYC were filled with happy Christians and an entire group of people coming home from service surrounded me. I got up from my seat and walked into one of the un-airconditioned cars. It was much hotter, border line unbearable, but sitting in a religious-free car was worth sweating my balls off. Get Well Soon, Bubba Everyone's favorite ex-President had heart surgery and I betcha that Hillary was hoping he'd bite it under the knife. It seems that three decades of junk food and hummers from interns with chubby ankles was too much for Bubba's ticker. His weakness for glazed donuts, double bacon cheeseburgers, and chasing tail around DC and Little Rock has finally caught up to him. I also heard he called John Kerry from his bedside and told him in blunt terms, "Stop talkin' about Vietnam, you dumbass!" If only had Kerry's camp of elitist nimrods suggested the same thing two weeks earlier, he might have not dropped 10% in some polls. I wonder what Twinkle and Turquoise are up to these days? The First Twins raised hell in the city last week, and some A-listers metioned that they hadn't seen a set of twins and sisters party that hard since Mary-Kate actually snorted her entire weight in coke one gum numbing night. Estonia? I had a shot to win a seat in a poker tournament in Estonia via an online tournament on Party Poker. I admit, for the first time ever, I really didn't want to win first place. I've traveled a lot in the last year. After a long summer of being on the road and partying hard since last November, frankly, I'm exhausted. I was gunning for second place... $1600 instead of the trip. There were 41 players in the tournament and only the top 4 places paid prizes. First place got the all-expenses paid trip to Estonia. I played tentative the first hour and was knocked out in the fifth level and finished in an unimpressive 21st place. I played a shitload of poker tournaments in the last two weeks. I forked up over $500 in tournament entry fees and only cashed out $300+ in prize money. However, I also won a seat in the World Speed Poker Championships (Estonia) which was valued at over $200. So I guess you can say, I broke even. It hasn't been a profitable start to September, after having the second best month this year in August at the tables. Who's the Blind Kangaroo? A friend of mine finished one of my novels recently. I'm always nervous talking to friends about my work. We spoke for a bit discussing different things. When she asked me a few questions, I realized that I hadn't read it since late December of last year and I don't have perfect recall over every word and every scene. I picked it up the other day and I was still impressed. Sometimes when bogged down into working on a project, I lose sight of the quality of the content. After some time and distance away, it's easier to have a better perspective on my work. Looking back, I am amazed at the decisions I took when just tweaking one or two bits could change the entire voice of the novel. I wasn't afraid to make decisions and that's why I finished it so quickly. The hard part is going back and deciding what works and what doesn't work. If I could only understand my life as much as I had a grasp of writing, then I'd have a lot more fun and worry a lot less about the decisions I made. Recent Writing Music... 1. Widespread Panic 2. Stanton Moore 3. Thelonius Monk 4. Old and In the Way 5. Billie Holiday | Permalink | Monday, September 06, 2004
Last 5 Films I Watched... 1. Fog of War 2. IT 3. Bourne Supremacy 4. Annie Hall 5. Abandoned | Permalink | Sunday, September 05, 2004
Week 1 Update Pauly's Pub College Football Pool Overall Results:Congrats to Austin Drunks. They are the Team of the Week! The Skinny: One of the upsets of the week was Michigan State losing to Rutgers. And I dunno about you guys, but I had 10 points on LSU... who came from behind to win it after the Oregon State kicker missed 3 extra points, including the deciding one in OT! That was close, as was the Colorado-Colorado State game. | Permalink | Recent Google Referrals in the Last 24 Hours... 1. Katie Holmes Punk'd 2. How to shave a pussy video 3. Homemade Xanax 4. Junior's Cheesecake Penn Station 5. Mushroom picking Georgia If you're confused by all of this... let me explain. I track the visitors who stop by my site. Usually, I'll get the majority of my new visitors from a Google or Yahoo search. Although some of them are my friends who forgot this web address and typed in: Tao of Pauly, most of the time I get hits from general searches: Phish blog, NYC poker, or screenwriter. In the last day or so, random people from all over the world typed the above words into Google's search and my site popped up. I'll compile My favorite Google Referrals Alltime... very soon. OK, so some random bloggers write Spam Poetry or Spam Hiakus like The Daily Dave has done. I'd like to experiment with some random ramblings, inspired by my recent Google referrals. Here it goes. I spent my summers mushroom picking in Geogria, and my winters working the counter at Junior's Cheesecake in Penn Station. My roommates were a pair of degenerate pill poopers. One afternoon, they were faded after snorting several samples of their homemade Xanax and mistakenly erased my favorite episode of Katie Holmes on Punk'd and taped a strange "How to shave a pussy" video from Brazil instead. I could go on and on. More Referral Ramblings to come. | Permalink | Saturday, September 04, 2004
Last Night's Writing Music Included... 1. A Tribe Called Quest 2. The Band 3. Jerry Garcia with Dave Grisman 4. Miles Davis 5. Lou Reed | Permalink | Pauly's Pub College Football Pool Kick off for the third annual Pauly's Pub College Football pool starts at noon! This year we have 13 teams trying to win bragging rights on picking college games. Last year's winner was Spider's team Muff State Pieboys. Best of luck. The Players:Best of luck guys! | Permalink | Friday, September 03, 2004
Hilarious I found this hysterical short film on Diane's site: Alter Me. I think I might have gone to prep school with some of those guys. | Permalink | Lists of 5 It's been a while... so let's have five random lists of five things. Writing Music in the Last 24 Hours... 1. Charlie Parker 2. John Scofield 3. Velvet Underground 4. Garage a Trois 5. Billie Holiday Poker Music in the Last 24 Hours... 1. Phil Lesh and Phriends 2. Galactic 3. Thelonius Monk 4. Traffic 5. Medeski, Martin & Wood with Marc Ribot 5 Random Blondes I'd Shower With... 1. Jenna Bush 2. Elisha Cuthbert 3. Naomi Watts 4. Charlize Theron 5. Summer from The OC with a blonde wig on 5 Random Places I Dropped LSD... 1. Graceland 2. Disney World 3. Boise, Idaho 4. Van Gogh Museum, Amsterdam 5. Las Vegas, NV... at a Halloween Phish concert 5 Random Minor Simpsons' Characters I'd Go Beer Bowling With... 1. Mayor Quimby 2. Dr. Nick 3. Lunchlady Doris 4. Sheri (bit not Teri) 5. The Bumblebee Man | Permalink | Thursday, September 02, 2004
Speed Poker in Estonia I've never been to Estonia before. I've never played speed poker before either, so I cancelled my trip to the Hamptons for the weekend to play in the World Speed Poker Championships Satellite on Party Poker, this Saturday at 6:15 pm EST. I won a $9 + $1 qualifier this morning. I outlasted thirty other players and won a seat to the upcoming $200 + $15 satellite. The winner of that will get an all-expense-paid package for the World Speed Poker Championships to be held in Tallinn, Estonia in mid September. For every 25 entries in Saturday's satellite, Party Poker will be giving away a seat. The last few of these satellites had about 40-50 players. Party Poker gave away one seat and paid out cash to places two through four. When I told my brother that I won a seat in the satellite, he said, "You'll enjoy Estonia. It's beautiful this time of year."  Welcome to Estonia! This is the third time I won a Qualifier to a satellite. Last April I won two qualifers for the WPT Championships at the Bellagio... and grinded my way to 12th in one of the satellites, missing my shot at a WPT seat by nine places. You'll know where I'll be on Saturday at 6:15. I'm gunning for a trip to a country I would never have dreamed about visiting. These satellites are always a crap shoot. But, I am looking forward to the opportunity for solid competition against some decent players. Here's the tournament's website: World Speed Poker Championships. It explains what the hell speed poker is all about. Here's a bit: In a nutshell - it's a poker tournament where the clock never ever stops running. The dealer deals and starts the 15 second player clock when the action is on you No time to think about all the possibilities or your hand is declared dead when the 15 second bell rings!!!For the satellite on Party Poker, it's just like a regular NL tourney... no shot clock, or a scantly clad Estonia beauty taping me on the shoulder shouting, "Faster, Dr. Pauly! Faster!" I wonder if this is all a set up by the Estonian mafia? When we get there, they are going to drug us, then rob us of our kidneys and other vital organs for sale on the Russian black market. Log into Party Poker Saturday early evening if you want to sweat me. Look under the Special Tournament tabs: Speed Poker Championships Satellite $200 + $15. See you there. | Permalink | Wednesday, September 01, 2004
Wednesday's Politico Roundup: Republicans Take Manhattan Editor's Note: I published this entry to my poli-blog This Side of the Truth. Check it out for election coverage and on other things randomly related to politics. The most liberal city in the world was prepared to have thousands of ultra conservatives and moderates flood the streets. Security began months before the Republican National Convention kicked off when the surrounding area of Madison Square Garden became fenced in with a swarm of security details in place; antiterrorism units with all types of chemical detection devices, bomb sniffing dogs, video surveillance, and sub machine guns. As the Convention drew closer, the streets were sealed off, backing up traffic, and forcing commuters to alter their work schedules. Most New Yorkers, already fatigued after 9.11, post 9.11 lockdowns, and last summer's blackout were not in the mood for another headache. New Yorkers scheduled vacations for the last week of the summer while others chose to stay take off from work or work at home to avoid Midtown altogether. The Protests There a site called NYC Indy Media and they have excellent coverage of the other side of the convention that the alphabet news networks are not showing you. In particular, Photo summary of A29 is a visual doumentation of the Sunday march in the city which drew more than a half a million people from all walks of life. Here's a bit: 500,000 people marched in solidarity with the rest of the world, denouncing policies of the U.S. government from every possible angle. After a 6-hour long march, protesters did not just pack up their signs and go home. Various autonomous contingents sprawled out across the city, doing everything from a "kick the heads of state" soccer game in Central Park, to jail solidarity demonstrations for those arrested, to a relentless verbal assault campaign on Republican delegates trying to hide out in Broadway theaters. "Republican scum! Your time has come!" was a chant that could be heard up and down the avenues this afternoon.  A bird's eye view of the protest. The only people wandering the streets were either out of town delegates... aka Happy Republicans or bitter, angry protesters, which gathered along the fringes of the most secure place on the planet. While the majority of the antiwar and anti-Bush Junta folks protested peacefully, a few rotten apples were arrested for various infractions of the civil disobedience type, including heckling and taunting delegates and staging die-ins around Herald Square and on Broadway. I'm all for protesting and speaking out against the Man and the suits in charge. But why do a few anarchical idiots decide to blatantly flaunt basic rules of public safety and cause melee with the police? For what reason?  Die-in protest near Herald Square. Those nimrods represent a small minority of protesters, and unfortunately for the serious-minded and politically active Americans exercising their freedom... the anarchists are the ones who get most of the media attention and indirectly are responsible for attributing a bad image of protesters. Some folks are just looking for trouble and their screams of anarchy and destruction often drown out the sane, intellectual voices calling for a radical political change in our country. The result is that the media and law enforcement unfortunately often group anarchists and protesters into the same lot of societal degenerates.  Protestors from Operation Sybil unfurled one of many anti-Bush ads. The Convention Despite the heavy blanket of security and a sea of angry protesters sprawling through the city streets, the RNC took off without any problems. And in just the first two days they came out swinging for the fences. The first day was highlighted by speeches from both Senator John McCain and Rudy Giuliani. McCain's speech was slightly subdued but he spoke volumes. He outed Michael Moore and trashed his credibility as a film maker. He was respectful of his friend, John Kerry, and did not bash him like plenty of the other lesser known speakers. However, McCain made it clear that our President was someone who has been tested in war time and has not flinched at making tough decisions. Of course the GOP didn't pull out any stops. They paraded a slew of 9.11 widows who briefly recanted how their lives have changed since the last election and how they felt the Bush administration will be the best choice to insure a safer America. It was moving and touching and I don't think too many swing voters with eyes filled with tears were not compelled with their speeches. With Kerry shooting himself in the foot by having his campaign's energy focused on Vietnam the last few weeks, those sad stories from 9.11 widows certainly gained the attention of NYC and Pennsylvania swing voters. Monday night was highlighted by former NYC mayor, Rudy Giuliani, in one of the best speech performances I had seen from a politician deliver in over a decade. In a forty minute speech, he weaved his support for George Bush with his disdain for John Kerry, in addition to reminding everyone that he too, barely survived 9.11. He brought the crowd to it's cheering feet when he described his emotions and feelings minutes after witnessing someone jumping from one of the burning towers, and he grabbed the police commissioner's arm and uttered, "Thank God George Bush is our President." The GOP was trying to making two things very clear. Firstly, that George Bush made tough decisions and is looking our for the safety of Americans by an aggressive proactive approach to modern warfare, while secondly John Kerry was waffling back and forth in debates and votes. And the point being hammered into everyone's living rooms by Rudy was pretty clear: "John Kerry's record of inconsistent positions on combating terrorism gives us no confidence he'll pursue such a determined course."  George P. Bush, future American President. Tuesday was the big night. Both Arnold and Laura Bush were scheduled to speak. Before the heavyweights came out, George P. Bush, the son of Florida Gov. Jeb spoke briefly. His mother is Mexican-American, and he's the guy who's going to deliver the crucial Hispanic and Latino vote, who in the last two elections had been moving over towards the Republican Party, mostly on religious issues like abortion. He is supposed to appear in several Spanish speaking TV ads, stumping for his uncle. And yes, George P. could possibly be our nation's first interracial President two decades from now. Arnold was there to get the couch potato vote and to drum up support with carious immigrant communities. He harped on his childhood and how he witnessed the horrors of living under Soviet occupation.  If I was born here, I'd already be your President! Arnold in many ways epitomized the American Dream for many people living abroad. He didn't speak English, but came to America, worked hard and became rich. His appeal to immigrant voters in California should translate into some more votes nationally when he hits the road and campaigns for Bush in the upcoming weeks. Of course, Arnold threw out his cheesy catch phrases from his movies. George Bush will terminate terrorism. America is back. And he loved every second of the spotlight. He was a huge pick up for the GOP... a high profile Hollyweird type who's not bashing Bush, and speaking openly to new citizens in America how the Republican party is for them. He was the highlight of day two for sure. Twinkle and Turquoise The Bush twins, dubbed Twinkle and Turquoise by the Secret Service, have been campaigning for their father in this election. Ever since one of the Olsen Twins went into rehab, and after Nicky Hilton's recent marriage... the Bush Twins are the hottest party sisters on the circuit. Party Girls is a comprehensive atricle about the First Twins in NYC, where they have been seen at luncheons with their grandmother Barbara Bush or at late night clubs downtown schmoozing and boozing with the younger delegates. They followed up an impressive speech from Arnold with a few minutes of really bad jokes, even poking fun at the Kerry daughter's hamster joke. They were cute and Jenna stole the scene. The blonde really wants to be an actress, and the speechwriters gave her all the one liners. Barbara, the straight one, was more laid back and sincere. She painted the behind the scenes family aspect of the Bush Junta. I guess Jenna's just like her old man; the guy three sheets to the wind with his pants around his ankles and the lamp shade on his head, and Barbara takes after her Mom; the quiet, reserved, well read librarian. They introduced their father via satellite from a softball game somewhere in middle America. And that's when he introduced the First Lady, Laura Bush.  Bush Twins with their Momma. Laura was there show a softer side of her husband, the President. She spoke openly about how he grappled with the decision to go to war. She also said, "I want to talk about the issue that I believe is most important for my own daughters, for all our families, and for our future: George's work to protect our country and defeat terror so that all children can grow up in a more peaceful world." She was sincere and spoke with a semblance of Texas sensibilty and that for some reason is why I like her better than Mrs. Ketchup. Tonight, Georgia Senator Zell Miller, Dick Cheney and his wife are the notable speakers. | Permalink | HOME
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