Monday, March 09, 2015

Binge Watching: Sopranos, Season 3

Los Angeles, CA

I'm deep into a writing project and needed to take a break so I dove head-first into re-watching The Sopranos from scratch. I got some good ideas for my own manuscript but I've been craving Italian food nonstop and have the urge to open up my own bookie business.

I posted half-baked thoughts of The Sopranos from Season 1 and Season 2.

Here are some thoughts about the third season of The Sopranos...

S3, Episode 1: Mr. Ruggerio's Neighborhood... The FBI tried to pull off an Oceans 11 type operation by installing a wire inside the Soprano castle during a small window every Tuesday when everyone was out of the house. The family members were given clever code names: Bada Bing (Tony), Baby Bing (AJ), Princess Bing (Meadow), Mrs. Bing (Carmela), and the Sausage Factory (Bada Bing)... Spy Hunter theme song and The Police's I'll Be Watching You was the soundtrack for the Feds. While driving to work, Tony sang Steely Dan's Dirty Work. He really loved Donald Fagen/Walter Becker or he associated the song with being in the sanitation business... Paulie Walnuts was a closet germ freak afraid of his shoelaces getting soaked with urine in public restrooms... On Patsy Parisi's birthday, he mourned the death of his identical twin Spoons, who got whacked at the start of Season 2 (he had a big mouth, so Tony clipped him). Patsy never enacted revenge. Tony told Patsy put "the grief behind you"... Patsy later showed up in the backyard of the Soprano castle. He was shitfaced drunk and considering killing Tony with a gun but he whizzed in the pool instead... Carmela and Adriana took tennis lessons at the country club. The new female tennis pro (obvious switch-hitter) had the hots for Andriana, who showed up to play tennis in beach volleyball-like gear. The FBI had them under surveillance, and the feds were practically fapping in the van at the sight of the lesbo with her hands all over Adriana... The sticky-fingered Polish maid told her husband that she stole random kitchenware from Carmela... FBI intended to bug a desk lamp in the basement, but it got called off when the Feds thought the Sopranos were onto them (it was just a blown water heater)... Episode ended with FBI listening to everyday banter via the bugged lamp. Nothing incriminating... yet.

S3, Episode 2: Proshai, Livushka.... Carmela found Tony passed out on the kitchen floor covered in blood and uttering "Uncle Ben." Tony flipped out when Meadow dated a half-black, half-Jewish film nerd from West LA. Tony's racist ways induced a fainting spells when he saw a box of Uncle Ben's rice... Moma Soprano finally kicked the bucket. Janice was gonna blow off the funeral, but Tony agreed to pay for the plane ticket from Seattle and said that he's been telling everyone Richie Aprile disappeared into the witness protection program. Initially, the three Soprano children did not want to have a service but Tony finally agreed to pay for everything. Tony requested no hippie-dippie new age shit from Janice at the memorial service... AJ cranked Slipknot while fretting over a report on a Robert Frost's Stopping by Woods. He could not understand the poem, so Meadow gave him the cliff notes: it's about a man waiting for his death... At his first therapy session post-Moma Soprano death, Tony wondered if he was a good son if he wished his mother would die?... Squabbles (in the form of fire bombs) in the sanitation business made the front page of the local papers, which infuriated Tony. He scolded Ralphie Cifaretto (from Richie Aprile's crew) who was part of the dispute... Furio, Chris, and Adriana were pulling tubes and railing lines before the wake. "Every little bit helps you get through these events," said Adriana before she did a pinky nail bump... Silvio was pissed he had to go to the wake because he had Jets tickets. At the wake, Junior showed up to express his condolences and asked Tony to bump Ralphie up to Capo.... At the funeral, the FBI snapped photos... Janice kicked out Svetlana, the one-legged nurse, from the house, even though Tony said she could stay until she found a new place to live. Moma Soprano gave vinyl records to Svetlana, but Janice wanted them back... Tony hosted a post-burial gathering at the Soprano castle. Tony thought he saw Big Pussy in the reflection of a mirror. Janice made everyone stand in a circle (against Tony's wishes) to say something nice about Moma Soprano. Crickets. No one had anything nice to say. Chris was schwasted, stoned and gacked and rambled on about wondering if we are truly unique people because we really have no proof... Artie had a flashback to the time Moma Soprano told him that Tony burned down his restaurant. He was bitter that he's become the Sopranos' kitchen wench... CATTY CARMELA: Shitfaced Carmela was the only one who spoke the truth: Moma Soprano was an evil woman who didn't want a funeral because she knew no one would come. Carmela's mother tried to shush her, but her father interjected, echoing Carmela's sentiments. He hated Moma Soprano for ruining numerous Christmases. The wicked witch is dead.

S3, Episode 3: Fortunate Son... Chris becomes a made man!... Paulie Walnuts rewarded Chris by handing over his bookie business in exchange for 10 points a week, or 6K minimum... Chris was perturbed by a crow in the window while he was getting made. He thought it was a bad omen... Chris and his new henchman (Vinny Delpino from Doogie Howser in a puma jogging suit) showed up at a local pizza joint. Jackie Aprile, Jr. was bitter-jealous-emo when he noticed Chris became a made man. He harbored a lot of Uncle Richie's piss and vinegar in him... Jackie, Jr. blew off a family meal at the Sopranos Castle so Tony made Jackie Jr. meet him for lunch. Tony told him that Richie was a rat who went into hiding with Witness Protection. Tony told Jackie, Jr. that his father wanted him to be a doctor and not a wiseguy. Tony said he felt the same way about AJ... AJ was riding the pine for his football team, but finally got into a game and recovered a fumble. Tony was super proud and wanted to celebrate with food, but AJ just wanted to play video games. Tony associated love with food... Janice stole Svetlana's leg to retaliate for taking her mother's vintage vinyl. While she was moving out, Svetlana told Janice she knows she stole the leg and was going to get revenge eventually....Chris got his ass kicked the first weekend as a bookie and he only handed off 4K to Paulie, who busted his balls for shorting him. The guy working the phones at the bookie operation told Chris that Paulie would lay off certain games with Philly bookies. Alas, Chris got offended and wanted to do things his way, which ultimately cost him money that week... In order to kick up cash to Paulie, Chris robbed a Jewel benefit concert with Jackie Jr. as the wheelman. Chris and Vinny put on SCREAM masks and robbed the box office, but shot a security guard on the way out. Chris finally paid Paulie his tax, but revealed he got crushed with the bookmaking operation. "Welcome to the NFL season... rookie!" exclaimed Paulie... FLASHBACK: We learned how Satriale's gets pulled into the Sopranos orbit. Tony was 11 when he saw Johnny Boy Soprano and Uncle Junior cut off the pinky of Satriale the meat guy. Tony was supposed to stay outside, but he went inside and saw everything. Tony's father said he was pissed that Tony disobeyed a direct order, but he was impressed that Tony did not run away at the sight of blood/gore/violence. He told Tony the truth about his job and offered some advice: never gamble. They cut off Satriale's pinky because he was a degen gambler who owed them money... Later that night, Johnny gave Moma Soprano free meat from Satriale's inventory. She had this weird freaky turn on when it came to free meat. When she cooked it up, Tony's parents erotically licked each others fingers. Tony passed out at the sight of the dripping roast. It was his first panic attack according to Dr. Melfi. She considered it a revolutionary leap in treating Tony because his spells/anxiety attacks are often triggered by meat. Yet, Tony had his own abnormal association with food/love/sex... Tony wanted AJ to watch the football game with him, but he went with Carmela and visit Meadow in NYC. Tony wanted to tag along, but Carmela told him that she's still wicked pissed at him for disrespecting her mixed-race boyfriend. Meadow confronted Carmela about the incident in her dorm room. She felt that her mother was siding with her father's ancient ways.... While at Columbia, AJ felt completely alienated because he felt everyone was smarter than him. He told his parents he did not want to go to college... Episode ended with football coach naming AJ the team's defensive captain for being a team player and coming off the bench to make a huge play. AJ responded to the promotion by passing out. Like father, like son. Johnny Boy had spells, Tony inherited them too, and now AJ got them.

S3, Episode 4: Employee of the Month... Johnny Sack moved to NJ, which irked Tony because he thinks Sack was muscling onto his turf... Ralphie Cifaretto started dating Jackie Jr's mother. Ralphie took Jackie along with him to rough up a guy who was late on payments. Raphie gave Jackie a nice cut of the cash... Dr. Melfi was viciously raped in a parking lot by a man named Jesus Rossi, who got arrested but later released on a technicality. She was loathing how the system broke down and failed to protect her. He was employee of the month at a local deli. She ran out of the shop when she saw his picture on a plaque. Dr. Melfi had an overpowering dream with an ACME soda machine inside her office. Her arm got stuck inside the machine while her rapist approached her, but a mean rottweiler bit his arm and saved her. The rottweiler was obviously portrayed by Tony Soprano in her subconscious. She knew she could tell Tony to kill her rapist, but she chose not to break the law. She told him that she was in a bad car accident... Tony told Janice to return Svetlana's leg because Irina kept calling him at home. Janice wanted to trade Svetlana's leg for her mother's records so she could sell them on the internet.... Janice tried to uncover Moma Soprano's so-called hidden fortune that she's convinced is buried somewhere on the property. "You make more money working a real job!"screamed Tony... Janice was trying to learn the chords to Satisfaction on electric guitar when two Russian thugs busted into the house and roughed up Janice for stealing Svetlana's leg. Janice finally gave it back and called the thugs "callous," who in return called her callous for stealing a woman's prosthetic leg. Tony warned her not to fuck with the Russians.

S3, Episode 5: Another Toothpick... OG Paulie made a cameo! Burt Young played Bobby Bacala's old man, Bobby Sr., who had lung cancer... Vito's brother was beatdown by junkie Mustang Sally who took a putter to his skull. Capo Gigi ordered a hit on Mustang Sally and Bobby Sr. agreed to do the hit because he's Sally's uncle/Godfather and had better access. Bobby Jr. didn't want his old man to do the job but Bobby Sr. had a death wish... Bobby Sr. found Mustang Sally in Staten Island and killed him and another mook in a violent struggle. Bobby Sr. smoked Sally's cigarettes and was spitting up blood when he crashed his car on the way home with Sister Golden Hair playing on the radio... Uncle Junior was super-superstitious and convinced death appeared in threes. Carmela's uncle died of cancer and Bobby Sr. was diagnosed with cancer. Junior was convinced he was next. He demanded to know how Bobby Sr really died: cancer or car accident?... Junior revealed to Tony that he also had stomach cancer, which explained his erratic and extra surly behavior... Bobby B was insulted that Junior was going to blow off his father's funeral. But Junior finally revealed that he had cancer and was too ill to go... CATTY CARMELA: Carmela finally met Dr. Melfi and sat in on her first therapy session with Tony. It did not go well with Carmela on the defensive the entire session and said that the therapy didn't work because Tony was still having fainting spells and still cheating on her. The two got into an argument in the car on the way home and Tony was speeding and got pulled over by a cop (played by ROC)... Artie Bucco fell in love with Adriana, who was a hostess as Vesuvio's. Artie told Tony that he was obsessed with Adriana and Tony told him to stop fucking around. Artie drunkenly insulted Chris, which nearly got his ass beat before Tony stepped in... Tony suggested he and Artie start another business together. Artie's wife always hated wiseguys and loathed Carmela. She reminded Artie that Tony only wanted the business as a front to launder more of the mob's dirty money. Artie and his wife decided to split, so Artie got an earring and tried to bang Adriana but he whiffed... Meadow was still angry about Tony's racist ways. She needed a desk lamp and took the bugged lamp back to her dorm room at Columbia. The FBI decided to kill the bug.

S3, Episode 6: University... Meadow's homesick roommate from Oklahoma transformed into a super emo after realizing that NYC is not as romantic as it appeared in movies and TV. Ugly realities of the big city overwhelmed her, like the time she saw a homeless woman using a Daily News as underwear. She started pulling out her hair and Meadow was worried she would start cutting herself next... "Why is other people's pain a source of amusement?" wondered Meadow's roomie, which is a theme for pretty much every HBO show... Meadow officially popped her cherry because her father hated the film nerd for being half-black and half-Jewish. When Meadow stopped by the Soprano's castle, her mother noticed the FFG (Freshly Fucked Glow)... Meadow's boyfriend got pissy because her crazy roommate pestered him while he wrote a paper and he got a shitty grade. His overbearing Jewish entertainment lawyer father was furious at his poor grades and got a restraining order against Meadow's roomie. At the end of the third act, film nerd broke up with Meadow because she was too negative and cynical. She was crushed, but the truth hurt, right?... Ralphie was way too obsessed with Gladiator film. Schwasted Ralphie stirred up shit in the VIP room and knocked out the bouncer's eye with a chain. Gigi predicted he'd end up whacked if he kept up his cowboy ways... Tracey, a young stripper and single mom from the Bada Bing, kept missing work while partying with Ralphie. Ralphie knocked her up. She told Tony and wondered if Ralphie would support the baby and marry her. Tony suggested one kid was enough... Ralphie later accidentally murdered Tracey in the parking because she disrespected her in front of the crew. Tony retaliated and beat the crap out of Ralphie, even though he's a made man. Tony justified the beatdown because Ralphie disrespected one of his girls.

S3, Episode 7: Second Opinion... "He's got two speeds: moping and yelling," was Carmela's mother's assessment of Tony... Tony thought Junior should get a second opinion on his cancer treatment instead of sticking with a cut-happy surgeon that Junior liked solely because he had the same name as JFK. When the surgeon blew off Junior, Tony and Furio paid him a visit on the golf course to encourage him to practice better bedside manners... Paulie and Silvio made Chris strip nekkid to prove he wasn't wearing a wire. Paulie then went to Chris' house in the middle of the night to acquire boosted shoes for his side piece. Chris got upset because Paulie sniffed Adriana's panties. Chris complained about the ball busting to Tony, and Paulie got pissed that Chris was a pussy and couldn't take a little razzing. They hugged it out over a talking bass that sang YMCA... That same talking bass reminded Tony of his fever dreams and Big Pussy as the talking fish... Carmela got suckered into donating $50,000 to Columbia's new student center. Tony only wanted to donate $5,000 but Carmela insisted on 50K donation...CATTY CARMELA: She didn't like the sculpture in Dr. Melfi's office. It sorta looks like a naked version of one of Degas' ballerinas, but her bewilderment looked similar to Tony's reaction on his first visit to Melfi... Big Pussy's wife ran into Carmela at the market and she complained about her sick dog and mounting vet bills. Tony was irked that she never asked him for the money so he busted up her new Caddy... Dr. Melfi recommended a different therapist to Carmela. He was Jewish and refused to accept payment (aka blood money) for the session when he found out she was a mob wife. The new therapist was no nonsense, no bullshit. He told Carmela to stop fooling herself and leave Tony ASAP. Doc said if Tony wanted to repent for his sins, he should turn himself in and read Dostoevsky's Crime and Punishment.

S3, Episode 8: He Is Risen... Thanksgiving. The crew boosted a truck of turkeys and diverted them to the Rev, so he can hand them out to poor folks in Newark. See, the wiseguys have heart sometimes!... Meadow went to a raver and found Jackie Jr. slinging E to the kids in the Jewish frat... They had a schwilly hook up but Jackie could not close the deal because she passed out on him... Tony and Ralphie were still hating on each other over the night he killed Tracy the stripper. They woulda whacked him already if he wasn't such a profitable earner... Tony didn't want Ralphie to come to Turkey Day dinner so Carmela told Rosalie that dinner was canceled due to her ill father... At dinner, Tony threw nuts at Janice's new narcoleptic boyfriend who kept nodding out... Jackie Jr stopped by to take Meadow out to a movie and they sucked fave in his car instead... Ralphie talked to Johnny Sack about the Tony rift and Sack advised him to apologize. "Saying 'I'm sorry' might save your life." Ralphie finally apologized, but cited the cocaine as the cause of his disruptive behavior. Tony sorta blew him off. Ralphie was salty and bitter that his apology went nowhere... When Gigi died of a heart attack, Tony had no choice but to promote Ralphie to Capo because the other candidate pool was very thin... Tony quoted Sun Tzu at Dr. Melfi's... Tony had a fling with one of Melfi's patients, the Mercedes sales lady, when she accidentally booked them both for the same session... Drunk Meadow wanted to go to a concert, but Jackie wanted to play pool with his goomba pals instead. Shitfaced Meadow took Jackie Jr.'s car keys and totaled his car. She was okay and Jackie said he'd report the car as stolen.

S3, Episode 9: The Telltale Moozadell... Carmela's birthday and Tony got her a rock the size of Rhode Island. AJ got his mom a DVD of the Matrix and Meadow got her a spa treatment in SoHo... Furio and Vinny Delpino tried to collect from another degen in Long Branch who owned a club called Lollipop. The Vikings missed an extra point and the guy lost his shirt. When he cried about the bad beat, Furio threw a drink in his face. "Bet with your head! Not over it!" Chris took over as a silent partner and gifted the club to Adriana. She re-named it Crazy Horse... Furio caught an Israeli kid dealing E inside the club who was friend of Jackie Jr. The dealer asked Jackie to fix the situation, but Chris told Jackie to fuck off. Jackie didn't want to look like a mook, so he told his Israeli friend he could deal outside the club. When Furio found out, he gave the dealer a severe beatdown... Meadow was upgraded to Jackie Jr's girlfriend so she did his homework for him (a paper on Edgar Allen Poe). Carnela was worried Meadow was spending too much time in NJ when she should be hitting the books at her Ivy League institution and partaking in NYC culture instead of slumming with second-rate wiseguys in NJ... Tony caught Jackie Jr. playing blackjack at the illegal casino and realized he's just a mook... AJ and his shitbag-rich prep school friends (Lady GaGa played one of the HS girls) broke into the school and trashed the pool. The cops figured out who it was because AJ left behind a recognizable pizza box with a couple of slices. Based on his special order, the owner knew who ordered the pizza... AJ got grounded with a severe punishment: NO NINTENDO or INTERNET for a month... Tony took Mercedes lady on a date to the Bronx Zoo and they knocked boots inside the reptile room (which in real life was known as a notorious hook up area because it was so dark)... Dr. Melfi suspected Mercedes lady (who previously an attempted suicide over a jilted lover) was banging Tony and she grew super jealous. Melfi went on mega-tilt because her patients lied to her on a regular basis...

S3, Episode 10: ...To Save Us All from Satan's Power... Christmas time for the Soprano crew. Tony had a TO DO list and spent the episode adding/crossing off items, like picking up gifts, laundering money, and revenge beatdowns... Tony had flashbacks about Big Pussy. He thought about the first time Pussy started acting suspicious during Christmas 1995 (although Pussy started working with the Feds around 1998).  In a flashback to 1995, Tony had more hair and Richie Aprile was alive. Tony warned Pussy not to sling H... Silvio was haunted by rat dreams about Big Pussy, like how cheese went missing at the Bada Bing and he found Big Pussy crushed to death in a giant rat trap... The crew was bummed out that Big Pussy always played Santa Claus at Satriale's for the neighborhood kids. Tony refused to be Jolly St. Nick, so they made Bobby Bacala play the role. Bobby was awful and one of the kids told him to fuck off... Paulie had stories about the history of Santa Claus (the elves were originally evil trolls) and Chris thought the Grinch had a lucrative racket... Tony had a small panic attack like when his brain turned to ginger ale... Janice insisted on cooking a Christmas goose. Her house was messy because she suffered from lingering injuries when the Russians roughed her up for stealing Svetlana's leg. Tony felt guilty and asked Slava (his Russian mob bankster who washed Tony's money thru the Isle of Man) if he could track down the cabbie who did the dead. Furio and Tony paid the cabbie a visit and tossed him through a store window... Artie Bucco's wife showed cleavage and dressed up after she was officially separated... CATTY CARMELA: Still bitter that Tony once finger-banged Artie Bucco's wife in high school... Tony spotted Jackie Jr. getting a lap dance in a rival strip club. Tony whooped him in the bathroom and found the pea-shooter pistol Ralphie gave him. Jackie told Tony that he flunked out of Rutgers and wanted to design men's suits instead of being a doctor. Tony was disappointed in Jackie for being a lying dirt dick and told him that he hit rock bottom... Christmas morning, Jackie showed up and gave Meadow some jewelry, but Tony shined him on because he didn't want to ruin Christmas. Meadow gave Tony the singing fish for Christmas, which always gave him memories of his fever dream and Big Pussy.

S3, Episode 11: Pine Barrens... Hell hath no fury than two side pieces scorned. Tony's side piece, the Mercedes lady, was swimming in jealousy when his former Russian side piece, Irinia, drunk dialed him on his boat. Mercedes tossed Tony's Christmas gift overboard... Tony told Dr. Melfi that he was banging one of her patients... Ivy League 1, State School 0: Meadow was way too smart for Jackie Jr. During Scrabble, he played simple words like "POO", "THE" and "ASS", while she dropped "OBLIQUE", which he thought was Spanish. Yeah, not the sharpest cookie in the cookie jar, eh?... Meadow suspected Jackie was two-timing her, so she drove out to Jersey and found Jackie with another girl. Meadow flipped out, but she finally saw what Tony already knew -- that Jackie was full of shit dickbag... Silvio was down with the flu, so Paulie and Chris inherited one of his collections. Paulie incited a fight with a surly alkie Russian (Slava told Tony that he  was ex-special forces who killed 16 Chechens with his bare hands). They fucked him up pretty bad and decided to dump the body in the pine barrens, but they botched the job when the Russian escaped even though Paulie shot him in the head... Chris and Paulie got lost in the pine barrens and Paulie lost his shoe in the snow. They holed up in an abandoned van while staving off hypothermia. Chris and Paulie lost their minds and threatened to kill each other, until they realized the absurdity of their petty dramas... Tony called up Bobby Bacala to help find Chris and Paulie. Bobby B showed up to help with some serious hunting gear. Tony gave him guff, but later apologized because he did a great job as a caregiver to Uncle Junior... Tony and Bobby found Paulie and Chris the next morning. "All night in this hell hole!" exclaimed Paulie. Alas, Paulie's car was missing (along with Tony's collection money). Tony let Paulie made the final call (as Capo) to end the search for the Russian. Tony told him that if Slava and the Russian mob found out, it was all on Paulie... The Pine Barrens was a highly controversial episode because of the open-ended ambiguous fate of the Russian. David Chase said they wrote a storyline in the final season about the Russian surviving but with serious brain damage. Alas, that scene got cut. The Pine Barrens in real life is where the so-called Jersey Devil lived. The area was very metaphorical if not literal: juxtaposition of the inner mind as the vast frozen wastleland trying to hide past problems and indiscretions.

S3, Episode 12: Armor Fou... Episode began inside an art museum. Meadow found Carmela weeping in front of an Italian renaissance painting The Mystical Marriage of St. Catherine. Meadow thought her mom fell into a black hole of emo... Carmela wore red when she visited a priest who told her to stay with Tony and help him lead a better life... During lunch with other mob wives, Carmela revealed that her secret role model is Hillary Clinton because she stuck by Slick Willy during the Monica Lewinski affair... The title of episode is French for "crazy love", which De. Melfi used to describe Tony's affair with the Mercedes lady... Carmela's car was being serviced and Mercedes lady found out she was married to Tony, so she offered Carmela a ride home (without revealing she was Tony's side piece) and drove very fast.... Mercedes later called Carmela at home and told her about the new line of cars, which pissed off Tony. He tried to dump crazy Mercedes, but she called him at work and begged him to come over. She insulted the gaudy ring Tony gave Carmela, so he smacked her. She was suicidal and begged Tony to kill her, but Tony walked out... Tony told Dr. Melfi about the incident and Melfi referred to as "suicide by cop." Melfi said that crazy, drama queen Mercedes was a surrogate for his mother, who was also a crazy drama queen... Tony sent Patsy Parisi to deliver the Mercedes lady a message: stay the fuck away from Tony and his family, otherwise the last face she'd see was Patsy's and not Tony's. "It won't be cinematic," warned Patsy... Jackie Jr and his BFF Dino didn't want to pay their dues and sought out a fast track through the wiseguys ranks. Ralphie told Jackie Jr that Tony and Jackie Aprile Sr. used to be petty weed dealers until they got recognized for knocking over a high-stakes poker game run by Feech LaMotta. After that ballsy job, Jackie and Tony made names for themselves as rising stars. Ralphie was supposed to be a part of the robbery, but he had gotten the clap, which is why he's only middle management... Jackie assembled a crew of meth-snorting, ski-mask-wearing mooks to rob a local poker game (low-level game actually run by Ralphie). They had no idea that Chris and Furio were playing that night. One of the mooks got scared during the robbery and a fire fight ensued when Jackie panicked. Furio got shot in the thigh and Jackie killed the dealer. When Jackie  ran outside, there was no getaway car. The wheelman (The Israeli E dealer who got tossed from Crazy Horse by Furio) got scared and he left without everyone. Jackie carjacked a car and sped away. Chris caught Dino, who told him he was working for Raphie, but Chris whacked him anyway... Tony called a mob doctor to operate on Furio, who wondered if the guy was a real doctor because he was a prick doctor known for erectile dysfunction commercials... Chris was furious that Tony wouldn't let him clip Jackie Jr. because Tony was worried it would draw too much attraction. "Why did they always have to play by the rules when no one else did?" was Chris' logic because he was a made man. Tony replied with: "You don't have to love me, but you will respect me!"... Ralphie stopped by Satriale's to talk to Tony and asked Tony to give Jackie Jr a pass. Tony left it up to Ralphie since he was Capo and was also dating Jackie's mother... Ralphie made up some story to Jackie's mom about Jackie getting deep into blow, which is why he's on the lam in Florida.

S3, Episode 13: The Army of One... AJ and his buddy broke into school to steal a test. They got tricked into confessing and he got expelled from Verbum Dei. Tony decided to ship him off to military school. Carmela protested because she didn't want AJ to become a professional killer. Tony thought AJ would finally get proper discipline. On the day he reported to his new school, AJ passed out via panic attack... Jackie went on the lam in the hood in Boonton. He even called Tony and begged for forgiveness. Tony was irked that Ralphie was not making a timely decision about Jackie's fate. Ralphie sent Vito down to Boonton and Vito whacked Jackie, Jr when he stepped outside for some fresh air... Ralphie told Jackie's mom that he was killed by drug dealers... AJ called Meadow and told her that jacking got shot in the hood... Rosalie Aprile was upset at the low turnout at Jackie's wake, but it coincided with Super Bowl weekend, the busiest times of the year for all the wiseguys/bookies. Even some of the guys in attendance were on their phones... At the cemetery, Silvio and and Chris were pinched during the Feds annual Super Bowl sweep. Uncle Junior ran away when he saw the Feds hauling away Silvio... Meadow got into a spat with Jackie's sister, Kelly. She claimed that the mob life is what killed Jackie ("a fat fuck in see-through socks" clipped him), whereas Meadow sided with the family's "official story" and blamed the illegal drug trade... Paulie and Ralphie had a dispute over a lucrative job. They had a sitdown with Tony, who ordered Ralphie to give Paulie 12K (instead of 50K that he wanted to pay for his mother's retirement home)... Paulie was pissed and bitched to Johnny Sack, who suggested he start working for the Brooklyn family... The Feds decided to close in on Chris after he became a made man. They assigned a female agent, Debbie, to go undercover and get close to Adriana... At a special post-burial meal at Vesuvio's, Junior crooned a song from the old country ("Ungrateful Heart") while it was intercut with different characters crying and/or glancing at each other. Shitfaced on Cosmos, a disrespectful Meadow chucked bread at Junior and sang a line from Britney Spears' Ooops I Did It Again. Tony chased her outside and she told him that everything was a load of bullshit.

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Season 3 is dunzo. Here's other binge-recaps from The Sopranos Season 1 and Season 2.

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