Thursday, March 12, 2015

Binge Watching: Sopranos, Season 4

Denver, CO

I finally got through re-watching the fourth season of The Sopranos. There was a 16 month layoff between the third and fourth seasons. Season 3 went off the air in May 2001. This was also the first season to appear after the 9/11 attacks.

I posted half-baked thoughts after binge-watching previous seasons of The Sopranos: Season 1 - Season 2 - Season 3.

Here are some faded thoughts on Season 4 of The Sopranos...

S4, Episode 1: For All Debts Public and Private... Tony thought his ducks came back, but it was only squirrels who boosted the duck food. The duck feed bags were surrogate banks to stash bundles of cash... Tony met with his Capos and claimed that business wasn't going so hot despite the fact that wiseguy life is recession proof... Uncle Junior needed an influx of cash to cover his escalating attorney bills. Tony offered Junior 100K for an empty warehouse in downtown Newark, but it was worth millions. Slithery politician Zellman (Boon from Animal House) tipped off Tony about the revitalization of the Newark Esplanade... During Sunday dinner at Castle Soprano, Janice and Ralphie went upstairs to the bathroom to snort blow and have a booty call, even though Ralphie was dating Rosalie Aprile... Danielle, the FBI undercover agent, successfully integrated herself in Adriana's social circle. Tony gave her a "Hey, how you doing?" when Adriana brought her over to Castle Soprano... Junior promoted Bobby Bacala to Capo. Bobby told tony that Quasimodo predicted 9/11, but he got Nostradamus mixed up with the Hunchback of Notre Dame... Paulie got pinched for a gun charge in Youngstown, Ohio when he was visiting Dean Martin's birth place in Stuebenville, OH. Paulie was pissed that Tony kept his distance... Tony threw a suite party and Furio showed up with a bevy of Icelandic Air flight attendants. Chris was almost caught smoking a joint laced with charlie... Brooklyn crime boss Carmine Lupertazzi gave Tony shit for wearing short pants at his BBQ. "The Don doesn't wear shorts" (which was advice real-life mobster told David Chase)...  Chris was pissed that Tony demoted him to "driver", and obvious punishment for his handling of the Jackie Jr. situation. Chris self-medicated by shooting smack in his toes to hide the track marks... Tony won back Chris' loyalty after he told Chris that his father was killed by a crooked NJ cop. Since the cop was retiring, Tony gave Chris the cop's home address. Chris avenged his father's death and shot the cop while Magnum P.I. played on the TV in the background. Chris went through his wallet and found a $20 bill...Tony was extremely honest with Dr. Melfi, which surprised her. She told him to give up before he gets whacked or thrown into prison... At the end of the episode, Chris visited his mother's house and tacked a $20 bill on the refrigerator. It was the same bill he took off the cop who killed his father.

S4, Episode 2: No Show... Princess and the Queen feuded. Meadow got a new car but spent most of her summer lounging around the pool... Dr. Melfi suggested that Meadow was legitimately grieving and depressed because of Jackie's death... Carmela flipped out when Meadow wanted to take the year off from Columbia to travel in Europe... Meadow saw a $200/hour shrink, who looked like a hippie version of Carmela. They bonded because she said Europe was a good idea and understood her parents were head cases... Tony and Meadow had it out in an ugly confrontation about being a spoiled mafia princess. She ran out of the house and presumably went to Europe, but instead she returned to Columbia... Silvio mediated a sitdown between Ralphie and Paulie's nephew (Lil Paulie) while Paulie was in jail. Paulie wanted 10 carpenter jobs on the Esplanade, but Ralphie only wanted to give him 2. Silvio decided on 5, with no show jobs going to Chris and Paulie... Chris got promoted as acting Capo while Paulie was in the joint, which pissed off Patsy Parisi, who got passed over... Chris and the crew jacked new fiber optic cables from the Esplanade job site, but Tony got pissed because he was ruining a lucrative situation... Patsy boosted floor tiles (with Silvio's approval), but Chris flipped out that they disobeyed his order. Tony confronted Silvio, who chalked it up to a misunderstanding... Adriana told undercover Danielle a secret that no one else knew: she couldn't have kids due to a botched abortion... Chris was suspicious of Danielle, but thought she was a lesbian. He offered her blow (she declined) and tried to incite a threesome, which got shut down. Adriana got pissed off at Danielle and told her to fuck off.... After 4 months of undercover work blown, the Feds decided to bring in Adriana directly. Adriana then puked on the conference table.... Radiohead's Kid A played over the closing credits. Tony's Kid A = Meadow or Chris. Or both.

S4, Episode 3: Christopher... Silvio had serious beef with Columbus Day Parade protests due to Columbus' association with the genocide of Native Americans. Tensions rose between the crew and protestors in Newark. Paulie's nephew got a bottle smashed over his head and Patsy Parisi got arrested trying to take down a Columbus dummy being burned in effigy... Uncle Junior's RICO trial commenced... CATTY CARMELA: She was pissed that Father Phil brought in a speaker for a luncheon that trashed Italian Americans, especially after she and the other mob wives donated a shit-ton of cash to the church's coffers... Carmela developed the hots for Furio... Paulie told Johnny Sack that Ralphie made fun of his husky wife and he also mentioned the huge real estate score Tony made with his warehouse. Carmine from Brooklyn wanted a cut of Tony's profit... AJ started reading Howard Zinn's People's History of the US. "You finally read a book and it's bullshit!" replied Tony... Bobby Bacala's wife died in a car accident... Janice fucked Ralphie in the ass with a vibrator. Janice is a fetish freak, eh? First it was Richie's gun to her head, and now it was Ralphie and a vibrator up his chimney... Ralphie finally broke up with Rosalie Aprile and decided to move in with Janice. At the end of Act 3, those two got into a spat and she pushed him down the stairs because he didn't take off his shoes. Ralphie threw out his back and called her a "crazy cunt."

S4, Episode 4: The Weight... Johnny Sack beat down one of Ralphie's crew in Little Italy. Tony understood Johnny had beef with Ralphie poking fun of his wife's weight, but he had to protect his top-earning Capo... Tony suspected Silvio spilled the beans to Johnny Sack, but it was really Paulie Walnuts... Johnny asked Carmine to let him whack Ralphie to avenge his wife's honor. Carmine declined because the Esplanade was multi-million dollar deal. Carmine agreed to a 200K tax on Ralphie, but no hit... Johnny Sack and Ralphie agreed to two sitdowns, but Johnny Sack walked out of both... Carmine grew tired of Johnny Sack's stubbornness and subtly suggested that Tony take out Johnny Sack... Junior told Tony to use a ruthless hit man nicknamed Lou DiMaggio (preferred weapon of choice was a baseball bat) out of Rhode Island... Silvio and Chris drove to Rhode Island to meet DiMaggio and gave him 10K and Johnny' picture. Even though his crew was ancient, they planned on whacking him in Boston... Tony sent Ralphie down to Miami to chill out while Tony cleaned up his mess... Johnny Sack arranged a hit on Ralphie (without Carmine's consent) but had a change of heart and called off the hit at the last moment. Close shave. The assassin was in the elevator with Ralphie in his Miami hotel... Johnny Sack apologized to Tony about the Ralphie stitch, so Tony called off a hit on Johnny Sack... Johnnie and Ralphie had no clue they were both about to be clipped all over a dumb joke... Meadow's hippie heart revealed itself when she volunteered at the Bronx law center... Carmela found an excuse to check out Furio's new house and dragged along clueless AJ... At Furio's housewarming party, AJ locked Bobby Bacala Jr. inside the garage... Carmela and Meadow both danced with Furio, but Carmela was as wet as a Category 5 hurricane and Tony didn't even notice because he was too busy discussing business.

S4, Episode 5: Pie-O-My... Adriana was irked that Crazy Horse became a mobster hangout. Chris and Furio used her club like a CIA rendition black site to torture delinquent brokedicks. She finally figured out that the club was never really hers... The FBI sent in a new handler for Andriana. During a meeting, the FBI denied that both Big Pussy and Richie Aprile were in the witness protection program. Sorta sad/humorous like a little kid finding out there was no Santa Claus. Adriana finally broke down and ratted out Patsy Parisi for boosting some suits... Vito busted the chair in the Adriana's office. When she went to sit down, she bit it too... Adriana asked Chris to move to California for a fresh start. Chris said no and didn't like her negativity... During Junior's RICO trial, a sketch artist drew his portrait, but Junior hated it because he looked like a goofball on the nightly news. The next day, Junior flashed the artist a major league stink eye... Bobby Bacala muscled a union guy for Junior and convinced him to switch his vote in an upcoming election. For such a soft-spoken guy he was morbidly convincing, especially when he pointed at different parts to his head to illustrate where the union guy was gonna get shot... Ralphie's racehorse, Pie-O-My, was bought in his maid's name. Pie-O-My represented the tempestuous relationship between Ralphie and Tony. Tony became infatuated with the racehorse. After Pie-O-My won a few races, Ralphie kicked down some of the earnings to Tony, who started referring to the horse as his own. When Pie-O-My got sick, Ralphie blew it off and told the vet to contact Tony. Tony treated that horse better than his own family. Tony paid the outstanding vet tab and rushed to the stable to visit the sick racehorse during an intense storm... Carmela pestered Tony about their financial future. She had special fiduciary papers drawn up by her cousin Brian, but it was in Tony's best interest to not sign all of them. Carmela was irked at Tony for leaving her future dangling by a thread, then again, she didn't want to actually have to get off her ass and get a real job if/when Tony got whacked/imprisoned... ANGLE SHOOTING JANICE: Janice was determined to make Bobby Bacala all hers and tried to pass off Carmela's lasagna as her own to Bobby, still deep into mourning over his wife's sudden death. She got jealous and catty when Mikey P's widow visited Bobby. Karen Bacala's last batch of baked ziti sat untouched in Bobby's freezer, despite several attempts by Janice to get him to eat it and move on.

S4,  Episode 5: Everybody Hurts... Adriana and Chris were riding high on the H train. Random junkies hung out 24/7 puking in Chris' toilet... Tony told Chris his master plan to start phasing himself out of the picture by using Chris as his mouthpiece. Chris was surprised but thrilled. He got the nod over Silvio because Chris was blood family and the guy to guide the family in the 21st Century... AJ's stinken-rich classmates and his new girlfriend Devin were intrigued by the mafia lifestyle. They asked AJ to show them Tony's strip club but they ended up at Satirale's instead. "It's a front? Like Jenco Olive Oil?"... Tony visited the Mercedes dealership looking for Mercedes lady. The salesman told him that she died a month or two earlier. Tony got very angry with Dr. Melfi because she didn't save Mercedes lady. She couldn't discuss her due to patient confidentiality. Tony exploded and left... Guilt-ridden Tony started being extra nice to everyone... Artie's wife bitched that Tony's tab at Vesuvio's was 6K and rising... Horny Artie wanted to bang his new French hostess. Her brother needed $50,000 for a bridge loan on some liquor investment. Artie Bucco brokered a deal where he would get Frenchie the loan for a modest fee of $7,500. Artie hit up Ralphie for the money but Ralphie declined because wouldn't be able to hurt Artie if he stiffed him. Tony was upset that Artie didn't go to him first. Tony talked Artie into letting him loan him the cash at reduced juice... TONY'S DREAM: The ceiling cracked while he ate dinner at Mercedes lady house. Plaster fell into his drink. She unfurled a scarf then he woke up... AJ and his girlfriend took a car service into NYC to visit Meadow at the South Bronx Law Center. AJ asked to borrow Meadow's room so she could bang his girlfriend. She shot him down. On the way home, they looked out the window and saw devastating poverty. They went to Devin's house, which dwarfed his McMansion. Her parents lived on a massive compound with security towers. Devin's father (presumably a Wall Street bankster) owned several late-period Picassos and an original pressing of Rubber Soul... Artie got stiffed by the Frenchman. They got into a fight at his apartment. Frenchie ripped out his earring as he yelled "Fuck to your mother!"... Artie ate pills, got shitfaced, and ended up in the hospital. Tony was angry but consoling, especially since he just lost Mercedes lady to a suicide. Tony took over collection of the debt and Tony wiped out his tab at Vesuvio's as partial payment. Artie called him a hawk who could see 20 moves ahead of him. Tony was offended that even his own friend thought he was a ruthless motherfucker... Tony bought Billy Joel tickets, and he and Carmela had a triple date with Brian and Furio. Furio liked Brian's new suit, which Tony bought him as a gift. Brian toasted to Tony for being a "great guy"... The episode ended with Furio knocking on the Frenchman's door.

S4, Episode 6: Watching Too Much Television... Paulie got out of the clink and the crew threw him a welcome home party at the Bada Bing... Adriana learned, from a bad TV show, that husband/wives had confidential privilege... Tony and Ralphie showed up at the steam room to meet with Zellman and fellow political crook Maurice about a HUD scam (tipped off by Brian) in which they'd rip off the federal government... Zellman admitted to Tony that he picked up Tony's leftovers and was in love with his former Russian side piece Irinia. Tony initially blew it off, but later found Zellman at Irinia's house and whipped him with his belt... Furio developed his own feelings for Carmela while looking through a batch of photos. He feigned losing his sun glasses as an excuse to call Carmela... Tony took AJ on a ride through the old neighborhood in Newark, which had fallen into disarray. Tony's tried to give AJ a history lesson about how their Italian ancestors laid down roots in NJ and that his grandfather built one of the first Catholic churches in Newark. His tip: "Buy land AJ, because God ain't making any more of it"... Crackheads wondered if Tony/AJ were undercover cops and told them to leave if they didn't want any rock. "So that's a crack ho?" asked AJ... Adriana wanted to get married and finally told Chris she might not be able to have kids. He flipped out and called her "damaged goods.". Tony told Chris to get married because med technology could change her situation in the future, plus she stuck by his side when he got shot. Paulie advised Chris to "Stay single as long as you can. Marriage and our thing don't gel"... Chris made up with Adriana and suggested a Vegas wedding. Carmela talked her out of Vegas for a NoJer wedding... Tony kicked down a fat watch for Brian for the heads-up on HUD scam... Tony had zero qualms over the HUD scam since "taxpayers pay for airport security" so why shouldn't wiseguys get a cut of government waste... Maurice and Zellman lamented over losing their 60s radical ideals. "The revolution got sold," they agreed... During Adriana's shower thrown by the mob wives, one of them yelled at her using scissors to open a gift because it was bad luck.

S4, Episode 8: Mergers and Acquisitions... Furio full blown crazy in love with Carmela. His uncle told him he was foolish for fucking the Don's wife and he can only do it if he kill Tony... Carmela had sexy daydreams about Furio... Tony commissioned a painting of Pie-O-My for $6,5000... Tony banged Ralphie's new girl, who is half-Cuban and half-Italian... CATTY CARMELA: She found one of Cuban side piece's fake nails, so she taxed Tony and stole 40K (actually $39,600) from his secret stash and opened up trading accounts... Tony broke it off with spicy Cuban side piece because Ralphie was with her. She tried to explain that Ralphie never penetrated her, rather that she was doing freaky shit like dripping hot wax on his testicles... Tony paid Janice $3,000 to spill the beans on Ralphie's bedroom secrets. She revealed his proclivities for taking it up the chimney with dildos and vibrators... Paulie's mom did not get along with other old ladies at the home. They made fun of her for hitting on an 18 in blackjack. Paulie told Vinny Delpino and Lil Paulie to rough up the old woman's son and even chased him down at a HS where he worked... Tony told Dr. Melfi that he's old school (like in Goodfellas) when wiseguys took the wives out on Friday and the girlfriends out on Saturday... Tony and Carmela were non-confrontational about what they really wanted to discuss: Tony pissed about the missing money and Carmela pissed about the new spicy side dish... Pink Floyd heard or sung few times throughout the episode... Tony dropped a lot of cash: home threatre system in pool house, 3K to Janice, gaudy diamond ring (shaped like a horseshoe) to the Cuban, commissioned horse painting, plus Carmela swiping cash to invest on her own.

S4, Episode 9: Whoever Did This... Ralphie's son nearly killed in a bow and arrow accident.  Ralphie lost it, saw a priest and proposed to Rosalie Aprile. Tony started to feel sympathy for him until he burned down the stables and indirectly killed Pie-O-My the horse, which had to be put down after suffering from bad burns... Uncle Junior fell down the courthouse steps after getting hit in the head with a boom mic. He tried to feign Alzheimer's to get out of trial and purposely failed a test with a court shrink. But at end of Act 3, he wandered outside and genuinely looked confused... Ralphie figured out Paulie (via Lil Paulie) was the one who told Johnny Sack that he was making fun of his wife. To retaliate, he cranked called Paulie's mom in the nursing home and said Paulie got busted sucking off a boy scout and had a gerbil stuck in his ass... Tony suspected Ralphie of killing Pie-O-My by burning down the stables to collect 200K in insurance on the horse. They tussled while Ralphie was making scrambled eggs (what, no oranges?). Ralphie sprayed Raid in Tony's eye (mirroring bathroom fight scene in True Romance when Patty Arquette sprayed hairspray in Gandolfini's eyes). Tony overpowered Ralphie, who ended up dead. Tony called Chris to bring gloves and bleach and help cut up the body, but he was noticeably faded to the tits. Tony called him out on being back on the H. Chris half-admitted to dabbling in H (but only snorting it)... Chris grabbed Ralphie's head and his wig fell off, revealing he was bald. Chris put his severed hands, head, and wig in a bowling ball bag. They ditched the body in a quarry and buried the head using construction equipment (that Tony operated)... Chris told Tony that Ralphie was their top earner but more importantly, he was a made man and they could get in trouble. Tony said that those two were the only ones who knew... Tony woke up at the Bada Bing. He saw a pic Tracey (single-mom/stripper whom Ralphie killed in the parking lot) taped on the mirror in the dressing room. Did Tony really kill Ralphie to avenge Tracy, or did he overreact to the dead horse? Both?

S4, Episode 10: Strong Silent Type.... Chris cooked up H with Lil Rascals reruns on TV. He got so faaaaded high, he accidentally killed Adriana's purse dog by sitting on her. "Must've crawled underneath me for warmth" was his excuse... Carmela cut her hair very short. Tony said it made her look young... Furio returned from his father's funeral in Naples. Bummer to get greeted by Burger King logos and American flags. He brought presents for the kids but nothing for Carmela... Tony caught Furio crying in the car. Told him to get over his father's death, when he was really emo about Carmela... The commissioned painting of Pie-O-My arrived, but Tony wanted the painting burned. Paulie took it home and had an artist change Tony to a Napoleon-like figure... The crew discussed that Tony probably whacked Ralphie over a horse... Tony still sad over the horse and Melfi said that he was fucked up for not grieving like that over his mother or other humans. Melfi said the ducks symbolized the dread of something bad happening to his family. Tony said he felt like the "sad clown"... Adriana told her FBI contact that Chris was on the H. They put Chris on mailing list for Hazelden rehab. Chris saw the junkmail and smacked Adriana. Adriana went to Castle Soprano and Tony was pissed Chris knocked her around. Carmela suggested an intervention... Chris went to the hood to score H but got carjacked. They whooped him with a toy xylophone. A random junkie helped Chris home and asked for $30 but Adriana told him to fuck off... CATTY CARMELA: Upset that Furio did not bring her a gift from Naples. She told Rosalie Aprile about her infatuation but Rosalie advised she shouldn't have sex with Furio because Tony would kill him... Junior thought intervention wouldn't work, so Tony should clip Chris like putting down a sick dog that can't be cured... During the intervention, Chris screamed mean things to everyone. Paulie and Silvio beat down Chris when he mouthed off and revealed their secrets like the Russian in the pine barrens... Johnny Sack shook down Tony for Carmine's cut of the HUD scam. Tony told him to fuck off. Tony later leaked to his crew that Johnny had Ralphie clipped for the HUD scam and making fun of his wife... Tony hooked up with Svetlana after she claimed all Americans were spoiled emos... Patsy and Adriana drove Chris to a rehab facility. The doctors searched his bag and confiscated his chocolate bars. Tony stationed Patsy at a hotel up the road to make sure Chris stayed at rehab... Furio cooked his own meals, while Tony re-heated Carmela's pasta... Paulie watched the Yankees game, but the new Napoleon painting of Tony lurked over his shoulder.

S4, Episode 10: Calling All Cars... TONY DREAM: Carmela drove Tony's father's old Caddy, bald Ralphie rode shotgun, and caterpillar on Ralphie's bald head morphed into butterfly, while Tony sat in back seat with Mercedes lady then Svetlana... Dr. Melfi reminded Tony that Freud said "Dreams are wishes." Her interpretation of the Caddy dream was that Carmela was in control and that the people in car (2/3 are dead) were people Tony had unresolved issues with. Tony said his old man would never let Carmela drive his Caddy due to old school rule: men in the front, wives in the back... Bobby Bacala visited the cemetery and told his dead wife he'd be with her if not for the kids. He buried the cake because it was their anniversary... Carmine and Johnny Sack still wanted 40% cut of the HUD scam. They complained that Ralphie didn't make his drops that week. Tony sorta accused Johnny of whacking Ralphie then walked out. Tony called back and counter offered 5%... Carmine sent one of his goons to rough up Vic the (HUD) appraiser. Vito Johnnycakes found Vic and roughed him up for switching side to Carmine. Poor Vic. He caught the brunt of spat between Brooklyn and NoJersey... Bobby and his kids attended Sunday dinner at Soprano Castle. AJ's girlfriend stopped by and they hooked up in his room. Carmela made AJ play with Bobby Jr and Sophia. They opened the Ouija board. Sophia asked the spirits if it knew her mom Karen. AJ hosted a seance where they contacted by a sea captain caught in a storm. AJ squeezed a sponge over Bobby Jr.'s head and Bobby Jr. started crying. Bobby told the adults, "He locked me in the garage at the guy with the pony tail's house."... Silvio and Tony discussed clamming up around Paulie because he leaked intel to the Brooklyn crew... Janice confronted Bobby for being too clingy to his dead wife... Tony gave Svetlana the diamond horseshoe (he originally bought for the Cuban side piece as a goodbye parting gift)... Dr. Melfi asked Tony if Svetlana was her new side piece. Tony was upset that she dumped him because he was uber-high maintenance. Tony brought up Svetlana's assessment that Americas had too much time to worry about petty bullshit. In a rare moment of self-awareness, Tony uttered "I'm a fat, fucking crook from New Jersey"... Tony wanted to end therapy. He joked that for price of therapy he could have bought a Ferrari and woulda got hummers out of it. He apologized for being an asshole and kissed Dr. Melfi on the cheek... Tony flew to South Beach Miami to visit Beansie (the pizza shop owner that Richie Aprile put in a wheelchair) and to meet Carmine, Jr. who called Johnny Sack a pragmatist but a greedy motherfucker. Carmine Jr. and Tony got on the same page regarding HUD... Judge made a ruling that Junior's RICO trial would continue despite his head injuries... Janice pushed Karen's ziti on Bobby. He finally broke down and ate it in silence via candle light. Bobby realized he had to stop being super sullen because his kids already lost one parent and he was slouching... TONY DREAM: He spotted Ralphie walking on porch of a southern plantation house. Tony knocked on the front door. He spoke in bad Italian accent, "Ima here for the masona job. Me no speaka English." A figure appeared on steps... his mother? He stepped inside then he woke up in a South Beach hotel room at 9:07am with the Beach Boys' Surfin' USA playing.

S4, Episode 12: Eloise...  Carmine Jr. flew to NYC to play golf with his father and Johnny Sack. Carmine Jr. went to bat for Tony. Carmine Sr. appreciated Tony's hard ass ways and mentioned Tony was like a son to him, which pissed off Carmine Jr. who then sided against Tony... Tony, Silvio and Johnny Sack met at Carmine's new restaurant but without Carmine, who did not budge on 40% on future HUD deals. Tony walked out and ordered the new joint get trashed by Lil Paulie and Vinny Delpino, who drew a huge cock on Carmine's special painting. To retaliate, Carmine and Johnny Sack called the union to shutdown construction on the Esplanade project... Junior's crew bumped into the foreman on the jury and politely intimidated him and his family... Paulie's mom was in minor fender bender. He agreed to drive her friends into NYC to see the Producers. At the dinner, old lady Matrone mentioned she never used banks. The old ladies got doggie bags and took everything on the table, including the sugar packets... Meadow invited her parents to dinner to meet her uber-rich roommates (including a Spanish countess) and her boyfriend Finn (the future dentist). Tony didn't like the fact she had a male roommate that wasn't gay.  Discussion moved to AJ's report on Melville's Billy Budd. "I didn't know they had fags back then," said AJ. Meadow and her friends agreed that Billy Budd was very very gay, but Carmela embarrassed herself (and Meadow) when she denied the homo-themes and lambasted that too much gay stuff was taught in school and on TV. Tony had been in enough street fights to know when you're not punching your own weight, so he was not about to spar literature with Ivy League brainiacs. Tony stayed quiet aside from cracking a few jokes... Furio, Tony and Brian gambled it up at Indian casino in CT. Brian got shitfaced and hummed Ride of the Valkyries when the VIP host offered them a helicopter ride back to NJ. Tony and Furio took a leak next to a propeller. Furio considered killing Tony by pushing him into the blade. He grabbed him and told Tony he was standing too close... Furio was a no-show next morning because he flew back to Italy. Carmela drove by his house, but never went inside. She found out that Furio put his house up for sale. Rosalie Aprile suggested Tony might've beat down/whacked Furio, which is why he was absent. Carmela submerged into a full-blown breakdown and cried the rest of the episode... Silvio called Paulie out for his wavering loyalty with Tony. In the peaks and valleys of relationships, Paulie said they were stuck in a valley... CATTY CARMELA: Carmela met Meadow for their annual birthday lunch in the city under the Eloise painting at the Plaza. Carmela brought white gloves, Meadow wouldn't wear them. Carmela felt insecure and jealous about Meadow's Ivy League education, but called her a spoiled lil princess when Meadow threatened to transfer to Northwestern... Carmine blew off Paulie at a wedding. Paulie realized Carmine had no clue who he was so he had to make up with Tony... AJ was assigned Thomas Mann's Death in Venice, which seemed little too far advanced for a D-student. AJ told Meadow that Carmela wept over Furio's dad and their mom spent a lot of time helping Furio decorate... Paulie broke into old lady Matrone's house to rob it because she never used banks. She caught him and he smothered her. He took her life savings and gave it to Tony... Meadow stopped by Castle Soprano and Tony reminded her that Carmela loved her. Tony said they went to therapy together and Meadow was shocked that Tony admitted to seeing a shrink. Tony suggested that Carmela was unfulfilled. Meadow never tipped him off that Carmela had the hots for Furio and was heartbroken... In a meeting with Tony, Johnny Sack agreed that Carmine was wrong about Esplanade and indirectly suggested they whack Carmine. When Carmine left, all Tony could utter was "Holy shit!"... Tony was bummed out that his #1 draft pick Furio went back to Italy. Tony's crew was in disarray with Chris was still in rehab, and Paulie was wavering back and forth between NJ and Brooklyn. Tony unloaded on Carmela that he had problems too specifically Furio leaving, which was really the huge problem for Carmela.

S4, Episode 13: Whitecaps... Chris finally got out of rehab and looked great. FBI stalked him when he got out and contacted Adriana to inquire about Ralphie's disappearance. She said that Chris wanted to help get Ralphie in rehab... Chris completed 11 out of the 12 steps except the one when he had to apologize to people he fucked over. Tony suggested "let sleeping dogs lie"... Carmela was sick and went to the doctor, who ruled out Lupus. We knew she was stricken with Furio-itis and depressed and heartbroken. Tony drove her down to the shore to look at a beach house named Whitecaps, which lifted Carmela's spirits when they met Carmela's dad and a realtor. "Reminds you of the Kennedy compound?"... Without an unanimous verdict for Junior's RICO trial, the judge ordered them to go back in and come to agreement. Junior flashed evil stink eye to the foreman... Junior got a mistrial! His crew wanted to celebrate but he just wanted to take a nap... Carmela fined AJ $3 for dropping an F-bomb... Johnny Sack and Tony met in an Office Depot and Sack quoted the Beatles' Hey Jude: "make a sad song and make it better." Tony decided to pass on whacking Carmine but Johnny Sack offered Tony a great deal on future construction. They hugged it out and the hit was a GO... Chris referred to Johnny Sack a "snakey fuck for trying to whack the head of one of the five families" ... Chris suggested two black guys for the hit so it wouldn't get traced back to Tony or Johnny Sack. The hitmen agreed but gave Chris guff for a stereotypical "two black guys carjacking" motif. Chris paid them an advance and gave them Carmine's routine... Tony stopped by the beach house to talk to the owner, an attorney named Alan, who agreed to sell it to Tony... During a walk on the beach, Carmela flashed a momentary blast of happiness. Tony told his kids they'd inherit it some day... Russian Irinia drunk dialed Castle Soprano. AJ answered and gave phone to Carmela. Irina told Carmela "I used to fuck your husband.... Tony loves me... we have some sadness in common. He's sleeping with my cousin with the one leg." Carmela threatened to kill Irinia because she had guns... Layla blasted on the radio when Tony returned home and drove over his golf clubs, which Carmela threw in the driveway. Layla was used in the montage scene in Goodfellas when they found all the dead bodies after the Lufthansa heist. Carmela furious that he banged Svetlana because she actually liked her and discussed Moma Sopranos bowel movements. Tony called her out for stealing 40K after she listed his different side pieces (that she knew about). Carmela threw him out of the house and he moved into the beach house... Carmine and Tony finally had a sitdown in Queens. Carmine wanted 20% or to split the difference on 40%, but Tony countered with 15%. They agreed and hugged it out...Tony told Chris to call off the hit on Carmine. Chris paid the hitmen a 50% kill fee on the contract. They were about to drive away until they got whacked themselves by Vinny Delpino... Johnny Sack was wicked pissed off that Tony called off the hit. Tony said no hit was necessary since they hugged it out. Sack said some thing to Tony he shouldn't have said... Alan the attorney caught Tony squatting at the beach house. Tony told him about his marital issues and Alan suggested he see the top divorce lawyers in the area so Carmela couldn't hire them due to a potential conflict of interest. Tony wanted to balk on the home sale. Alan played hardball. His wife told him not to fuck with Tony because he was a mobster. Alan said he'd keep the 200K deposit. Tony installed home theatre speakers on his boat and blasted Dean Martin in front of Alan's beach house. Alan called them goomba trash. He tried to pretend it didn't bother him to his guests. He called the Coast Guard but Tony turned music down whenever they water cops showed up... Meadow asked Carmela if they were breaking up because of Furio. She said she had never been unfaithful. Meadow asked her how she could eat shit from Tony all those years... Tony's phone rang the entire episode. He missed the old days before cell phones... Tony returned home and wouldn't leave. He decided to shack up in the pool house. AJ helped him clean out pool house... Tony and Carmela had it out again. Every fight they had were short spurts. Almost like boxing matches. Three-minute rounds. What did she think was gonna happen when she married a wiseguy? Side pieces were part of the package and in exchange she got materialism up the wazzu. Carmela told him about having feelings from Furio. Tony punched the walls. She called him a hypocrite and walked out...  AJ asked Tony if he could move into pool house with him. Tony told him to support his mother. Meadow also felt responsible for failed marriage.

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Season 4 is dunzo. Here's other binge-recaps from The Sopranos Season 1 and Season 2 and Season 3.

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