As always a hearty thanks to Wil, who dug the intro to a recent post on my poker blog. He linked it up in his most recent post called Eveything we need to know. Of course, Briana is going apeshit over getting her name blogged on Wil's site. I blog about her all the time and she doesn't even blink an eye. But as soon as Wil blogged that excerpt, she called everyone on her speed dial and emailed the link to every poor soul in her email address book... even her parents... who hate me even more.
Moving on...
Four bloggers walk into a bar... sounds like a punchline to a bad joke, right? But it's what went down last night, except we walked into several bars. I had not gone drinking with bloggers in NYC since Otis came to town for the Poker Stars party when I drank fruity rum drinks in plastic coconuts with Isabelle Mercier. I got wicked sick that night and puked in the middle of the street. I have not drank that much since then.
Derek and I hung out with Spaceman last night after his Millionare interview. Joaquin suggested Brother Jimmy's which was funny because it's a Southern BBQ place. I think he wanted Spaceman to feel at home. Our waitress copped an attitude right away with us. I hate that. She didn't even give us a chance to piss her off! That's where we started our bar hopping run that would span several bars on the Upper West Side. We pretty much followed Joaquin around and I got to catch a glimpse of where he goes to troll for drunken NYC chicks. The guy loves women and he hit on a ton. We walked into one bar in particular and he started chatting up the cute bartender.
Pauly: So did you hit that?I'll let Joaquin write up his sexual conquests, but I had to share that conversation we had. We also stopped off at Yogi's near the Beacon Theatre. They play a ton of country & western music and Joaquin sang along with almost every tune. We drank PBR out of a can, and it might be one of the cheapest bars in the city. I used to drink there sometimes with Haley.
Joaquin: No.
Pauly: Not even a blow job?
Joaquin: She gave me a handjob.
Derek: Totally useless. Why do women do that? You're better off stroking yourself.
Anyway Joaquin tried to chat up a table of women from South Africa and then he zeroed in on he two drunkest chick in the bar. The blonde and her ugly friend. He gave the ugly one a certain blogger's email address. I won't say which one. But if some random chick emails you in the next day or so... please let me know. The blonde was playing darts. Drunk people should never be around sharp objects. She nearly took one guy's eye out with a throw.
Joaquin: Do you know who this is? (Pointing to me)That's right. I used the WSOP final table line to pick up a soused chick in a dive bar in NYC. It's not really a line... because it's true. At least I didn't waste that line on her friend.
Blonde: No? Maybe? He looks familiar.
Joaquin: He's a celebrity. Do you watch poker? (He pointed to the TV with had ESPN and the WSOP final table on)
Blonde: Sometimes.
Joaquin: That's Dr. Pauly.
Blonde: Awesome! (as she shook my hand) I thought I recognized you. Didn't you play in the WSOP, right?
Pauly: Yeah in two events... and I made the final table in one.
At some point AlCantHang called for a dial-a-shot. He won a feeroll at the Boathouse. I think the Spaceman got sick of having to step outside to smoke ciggies, especially since it's been friggin' cold as fuck in the city.
At Bourbon Street, Joaquin and I ordered drinks. After I told the female bartender what we wanted, Joaquin added, "And your phone number." You gotta love seeing The Rooster in action.
Spaceman had a rough night and spent some time in the bathroom. I walked in to check up on him and he was clutching the porcelain god. When he got out he muttered, "BG pukes and passes out. Spaceman pukes and keeps partying."
Yeah not only did Spaceman reference the infamous Brad-o-Ween incident involving BG (which we'll dub "Nap-gate") but Spaceman also referenced himself in the third person.
It's not a real trip to the big city unless you blow chunks in a random bathroom, while the Rooster milled around outside trying to pick up chicks waiting in line for the ladies room.
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