Tao of Pauly

Slumber

I passed out just before 5am and slept for 7 hours straight. That's about twice as much I normally get. For folks who get the standard 8 hours of sleep a night, imagine sleeping for 16 hours. That's insane but the equivalent of what I got last night. After a week of partying in Hollyweird, my body was exhausted. Whenever I head out to LA, Change100 and I party like rockstars and never sleep.

I wanted to crash earlier than 5am, but my body was wired on Pacific Time. I caught up on reading email. I have a bad habit of reading email and then not answering until days later. But when I try to read, then answer I end up wasting too much time. Email is a blessing and a curse.

Five minutes after I boarded my JetBlue flight to JFK, I turned on my iPod while they waited to start the DirectTV service. I accidentally dropped my iPod and it froze. This happened only once before and I have to let the batteries drain out before I can use it again. It wasn't bothered too much. I knew that the Yankees and Red Sox game was going to be on ESPN within a few hours and I'd have the Food Network to keep me entertained during my five plus hour flight.

The best part of this trip was that the flights put me over the hump for a free flight on my JetBlue frequent flier program. I have one year to use it too. They give you a free flight when you reach 100 points. You get double points if you book online, which I always do. So a flight from NYC to LA or Las Vegas is worth 24 points for the roundtrip. Each leg is worth 6 points which is doubled if you book online. I've spent several thousands of dollars flying cross country on JetBlue, mostly on their JFK to Las Vegas run. I'm lucky that they also fly to LA, so I can collect points on flights from NYC to Long Beach. I used my free flight in December to attend my grandmother's funneral since I was on the west coast when she died.

Inside of six months, I racked up another free trip. In fact, I have 20 total points as of today towards a new reward. With an upcoming flight to Las Vegas and a round trip flight to LA from Vegas at the end of June, I should be half way to earning another free flight by the end of the summer. My plan was to use my free flight to fly into LA to cut down the cost of a trip to Thailand at the end of the year since flights are much cheaper to Asia from California.

The flight from Long Beach to JFK arrived at the gate at 9:55pm, only five minutes late. The pilot turned off the TVs and everyone grumbled. The entire flight was watching American Idol and a mutiny almost occurred when everyone started screaming and yelling to put the TV service back on. The pilot obliged and everyone got to see Taylor Hicks win. I was the only person on board who was watching the Yankees-Red Sox game. Yeah, I was the cool kid in a sea of losers.

I watched my first and only episode of American Idol on Monday because I thought it was the last episode. I was pissed when I found out it wasn't! I caught glimpses of the show a few months ago when I was ripping gaggers with Showcase on his couch as I watched one of the early episodes. I enjoy music, but I don't like that crap.

I do have a Taylor Hicks story. It's a good LA story too and I can say that I saw that freak way before he got famous. Nick's Coffee Shop is located around the corner from Change100's apartment in BHA (Beverly Hills Adjacent or as they aptly described it in that hilarious flick The Slums of Beverly Hills). Nick's is a greasy spoon diner and you can catch a random celebrity sighting. But those are celebs who are out to eat rather to be seen. When we walked into Nick's last month, Taylor was sitting at the lunch counter, eating his grits. When he walked out a fan stopped him and wished him luck.

"He's totally gay," commented Change100 as he walked past us.

I didn't say anything. I assumed that everyone in Hollyweird was either gay, a drug addict, or the son or daughter of someone famous. Sometimes you're all three.

Anyway... my cab driver was chatty. I usually don't initiate conversation but I contribute when called upon. He wondered if I wanted to listen to the radio. I asked him to put on the Yankees game, but it just ended. He turned on the classic rock station. They played Black Sabbath then Phil Collins.

When I arrived home, the juice in my iPod was gone. I charged it back up and it was fine an hour later. I read email, took a shower, then turned out all the lights and listened to music for two plus hours. In the last two weeks, I added a ton of music to my collection but I have not had a chance to listen to it all. I finally caught up before I passed out.

I went to the diner for breakfast. It was around 1pm but I was there for breakfast. It was lunch hour and the small Greek diner was crowded with old people and construction workers. There are three large projects going up within a three block radius of the diner. It sucks for parking but some of the local restaurants are relishing the extra business.

I sat down and ordered my food as I sorted through my mail. I was only gone for a week and I got a lot of crap plus two packages which included a digital camera that I bought for my mother and a Neal Pollock book that I bought for 1 cent. The shipping cost me $2.50. That's sad. Pollock is one of America's greatest writers and his books are selling for a friggin' penny in the Amazon.com used section. If he's worth a penny, I'm worth nothing.

I had about five or six credit card applications. Word is out that I'm paying my bills again and that I'm a moderate credit risk. I tossed those aside. I opened up a letter from the alumni department of my high school. They were thanking me for my generous donation which meant I was a member of a special club that entitled me to attend a fancy rubber chicken dinner and other perks. They reminded me that I should donate an additional 3K for a special fund they are running. Sweet Jesus! I already send them $125 a month and they want more.

I sifted through a few bank statements. My credit card and cell phone bills are both due. I had a couple of magazines including the alumni rag from my college. I skimmed the "Alumni News" section and some girl who hooked up with at least fifteen guys in my freshman hall just had a baby. I wondered how many cocks she's chugged along the way to husband #2?