Saturday, December 04, 2004

Shits and Giggles

Russian exchange student feels right at home is a hilarious read. Here's my favorite bit:
To better fit in with her Cannelton High classmates, Kedrova has taken up many of their habits. She now smokes cigarettes and marijuana and also started sleeping around. A straight-A student in Russia, she now has a “D” average. She has also gained approximately 30 pounds since arriving in August and has gotten several tattoos. “As they say, when in Rome, do as the Romans do,” says the 16-year-old.
And who said Americans were fat, dumb, and lazy? And stoned to the gourd as well.

Colorado Rockies pitcher Denny Neagle was arrested early Friday for allegedly paying a woman $40 for a hummer is a story that made me chuckle. Here's the skinny:
Neagle was pulled over by police for speeding on a Denver street, at which time an officer noticed the pitcher's watery and bloodshot eyes and detected an odor of alcohol. The officer also noticed Neagle's pants were undone, and when queried about it, Neagle reportedly told the officer that he was "just getting comfortable." But a woman inside the car told police she had performed oral sex on Neagle for a fee of $40.
20 pounds of pot discovered is a sad story. Here's a bit:
Drug agents are investigating how a 20-pound bale of marijuana got mixed in with a truckload of watermelons that were delivered to the Good Shepherd Food Bank in Auburn.

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