Ramblings from a writer, traveler, and insomniac

 
Week 3 Update: Pigskin Pick'em

Team(s) of the Week: (Tie) I Like Pie and Sycophantic Sheep with 12 wins each

The Skinny: Looks like we have a three way tie for first between Armen's Speed & Weed, the Poker Geek's World of Dorkcraft, and BG's Sycophantic Sheep. Killer Beas and Austin Drunks are not far behind. In the battle of the basement, Acrobatic Ass Assassins and JustaDrunkCanuck are tied for last place. It's still Week 3 and anything can happen. Hang in there. Oh, and don't forget to do your picks!!

Top 5 Overall:
1 Speed & Weed (Armen) 29
1 World of Dorkcraft (PokerGeek) 29
1 Sycophantic Sheep (BoyGenius) 29
4 Killer Beas (JK) 28
4 Austin Drunk (Matt S.) 28

Visit Pauly's Pub to see complete standings and results. My team The Redneck Riviera is currently tied for 10th.
posted by Pauly at 9/30/2005 11:59:00 AM | Permalink |

 
I Like TiVo

Derek has TiVo and it's a nifty new gadget. He's been recording all of the World Series of Poker episodes and I finally caught up on watching all of them. I missed a bunch when I was on the road for work. You can see me in the background of a few episodes and I was all over the most recent Johnny Chan one.

I also finally caught up on The O.C. from the past two weeks. I watched them back to back so talk about a two hour distraction. It was worth it. Summer is getting smaller and smaller. That girl needs to eat. I think she's on the Mischa Barton meal plan.

I also got to see the first few episodes of the current season of Entourage. When theis season began I was in Las Vegas. I got HBO at the Redneck Rivieria but I never knew what time Entourage was on. I caught the Pauly Shore/Ralph Macchio/Playboy Mansion episode, but never saw the rest. I finally watched the first few yesterday and damn, talk about a funny fuckin' show. Turtle is the complete id. He's all about getting high, eating, and getting laid while trying to do the least amount of work as possible. Without a doubt Johnny Drama is my favorite character. L.A. is filled with thousands of Johnny Dramas.

Speaking of which...

I've been working a few hours a day on a new project. For now it's in the conceptual stage, but I'm hoping it moves into the next phase. That's all I have to say about that.

This week I rushed the latest issue of Truckin' and I've been trying to find a few hours every day to work on my Las Vegas book. Finding huge chunks of time is hard these days.

Been working on several freelance articles this week. I cranked out three and will start working on a fourth on Friday.

No complaints come from me when I'm writing. The only thing I have to bitch about has been Blogger... which has been fucked up all week.
posted by Pauly at 9/29/2005 09:17:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Truckin' - September 2005, Vol. 4, Issue 9

I recently published a new issue of my literary-blogzine. We were a little late this month but that's par for the course for Truckin'! This issue might have one of the funniest stories to date from Daddy. Anon Hammurabi returns with Part 2 of his trip to the Sudan. The Human Head makes his debut and Joe Speaker returns with a story about... being young and vulnerable. And there's another installment of Subway Stories for you. Take a peek!

1. September Subway Story by Tenzin McGrupp
The homeless man wore a NY Mets t-shirt and black dress shoes three sizes too big. He wasn't wearing any socks. He stood in the middle of the subway and pleaded with everyone... More

2. With the Lights Out by Joe Speaker
The last thing you want is to be thought "different," so you check your childhood impulses and guard your secrets... More

3. Crushing Omaha by Daddy
I knew my wife would be sporting her new Victoria's Secret lingerie, and I had a secret of my own. A little blue secret. She didn't know it yet, but she had a date with the Vanilla Gorilla... More

4. A Million Miles in 20 Steps by The Human Head
The very thing that affords him a decent lifestyle is a sea of nothingness in which he must swim, and as he looks towards the entrance he is filled with a sense of hopelessness that is difficult to describe... More

5. Khartoum-Nyala (Sudan, Part 2): Domestic flights in Sudan by Anon Hammurabi
The Sudanese desert also has a very distinct colour of red, which looks really great from an airplane. But a killer shark also looks beautiful from safe distance... More

6. Red Light City by Tenzin McGrupp
The better looking ones are on the side streets and you have to navigate the narrow alleys while following the aroma of cheap sex in the air to find the doorways with the girls... More

Do you want to write for Truckin'? Feel free to shoot me an e-mail if you are interested. Make sure you read the guidelines for submissions.

posted by Pauly at 9/29/2005 07:53:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Wednesday Link Dumps: Trey, Tons of Pot, Cyclist Penis, Vinny, and UFOs

I still have a bunch of stuff left over that I never blogged yesterday. By the way, this week is a huge sports week. The Yankees and the Red Sox have to play a weekend series and that will determine who goes to the playoffs. Should be epic. Let's hope the Yanks don't blow it. Glad that I'll be home to watch the games!

The NY Jets are hurting after they lost Chad "Paper Thin" Pennington and Jay "Oceanside, LI" Fielder on Sunday to serious season-ending injuries. Talk about bad fuckin' luck. It's all up to the aging Vinny Testaverde to lead gang Green to the playoffs. By the way, did you know that Testaverde in Latin means "color blind"?

Rolling Stone has a nice blurb about Trey Anastasio and his upcoming tour to promote his album Shine. I heard most of the cuts already and I'm not totally into his new stuff just yet. He's supposed to open for the Rolling Stones on two dates. I scored tickets for two shows on his fall tour in NYC and in Connecticut. I don't like Roseland Ballroom, but heck it's Trey so I'll go. I'm trying to score a ticket to the LA show at the Wiltern.

In marijuana news... California man is busted from growing a ton of pot. But it's for medicinal usage, dude?

This one if for Bobby Bracelet! Have you ever suffered from cyclist penis?

For all you geeks out there, here's a list of 20 things tech companies don't want you to know.

So much for gonzo porn. A Hawaii man was busted for video taping his roommate's sex sessions. Man, I didn't know that video voyeurism was a felony!

File this one under... Only in Canada, eh? Former prime minister beleives in UFOs. Here's a bit:

The 82-year-old Hellyer says he believes not only that UFOs are extraterrestrial visitors, but that some governments - the United States at least - know all about it and are covering up. He says he believes American scientists have re-engineered alien wreckage from a supposed UFO crash at Roswell, N.M. in 1947 to produce modern technical marvels.

posted by Pauly at 9/28/2005 09:55:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Purple Humpback Whales, Johnny Fuckin' Chan, and Other Useless Crap to Distract the Masses

I'm swamped with catch up work. Or call it bitch work for you non-PC folks. That's OK. It keeps my mind off of other things and definitely keeps me humble. I'm happy to be home again. Being back in NYC is a good thing since I'll be on the road a lot over the next several months so I'm enjoying the little things about this city that make it great. I've been eating bagels almost every morning. In Europe, Briana got me addicted to croissants. There are not as filling as a bagel and I usually have to eat two to get the same morning bread fix. In Las Vegas, they had no equivalent to bagels and croissants. The closest thing within walking distance to the Redneck Riviera was a McD's and a Wendy's. Since I was crashing at 6 or 7am every night that by the time I woke up, it was the lunch rush hour. Yikes. I just realized that I spent most of my time in Las Vegas eating fast food for breakfast. No wonder I put on 15 pounds. It was my poor eating habits and all the beer I was drinking at the Hooker Bar with Otis during dinner breaks.

Speaking of Las Vegas, I watched the most recent two episodes of the WSOP on ESPN last night with my brother. And fuck, I saw my ugly mug plastered all over the Johnny Fuckin' Chan episode. Originally ESPN was scheduled to tape the $2,500 NL event. That night there were two final tables, the $2500 NL and the $2500 PLH event. There were a lot of unknown online players and newbies at the $2500 NL TV table and the PLH table featured Johnny Chan, Humberto Brenes, and Phil Laak. It seemed they had more railbirds and media sweating them on the outer tables than the other event on the main stage. Even ESPN's second unit was all over Chan's table. I recall that Dan from Pokerati got yelled at for standing on a chair by one of the ESPN producers.

Last night I got a few comments from readers about seeing me in the background. I got several emails and a few voicemails. My friend Julie even sent me a text message, "I just saw you on ESPN!"

Man, I was just a few feet from the table when Johnny Chan cracked pocket Aces with the Hilton Sisters (see photo below). The suits at ESPN took note of the significance of Johnny Chan's run. As the players were being eliminated at the PLH table and Chan got closer and closer to winning his 10th bracelet, they gave the PLH table more coverage. When it got down to two, an executive decision was made to postpone the heads up match between Chan and Laak and shoot it on the final TV table after the $2500 NL event was complete. They waited for almost two hours before Chan and Laak played heads up. During the break, I wandered out into the casino to find some ginger ale to drink. I spotted Phil Laak sprinting at top speed. He was running right at me in the long corridors that connect the Convention Area to the rest of the casino.

"Slow down Phil, you got plenty of time!" I yelled.

He kept running.

There were plenty of media folks who got face time during that epic episode. As soon as someone wins a bracelet, you can see Flipchip in the background snapping a photo. I also saw Sharla from Poker Pages, Jay Greenspan, and Heather from Poker Wire. BJ was in the background in media row and I know Otis was back there too. During the Chan-Laak heads up match, I was seated in the front row with Earl from Poker News, Rick The Voice, and Doyle Brunson.

How the fuck did that happen?

I'm still in shock almost three months later. Watching Johnny Chan win his 10th bracelet was my favorite moment during the six hellacious weeks I covered the 2005 WSOP. It might have been one of the coolest things I got to see in my life.


Chan & Laak on the outer tables: a view from my seat


Johnny Chan -- the first 10 time WSOP bracelet winner

That's it for now. If you haven't seen that epsiode, set your TiVos and VCRs and check your local listings for when ESPN will rerun that episode.

****** ******

More Boathouse Bash stories are trickling in. Be sure to read: Derek, AlCantHang, StB, Bobby Bracelet, Spaceman, F Train, Joaquin, Helix, Carter, and Bad Blood. And yeah, and Eva too!

Update: Ah... I forgot that Steph had a blog! Check out her take on the events over at Clareified. She might have one of the best recaps that I've read. She also had this hilarious post on her site about playing with bloggers for the first time:

TOP FIVE SIGNS YOU'RE IN OVER YOUR HEAD...

5. Everyone else at the table is re-raising pre-flop with 27o.

4. Half the people at the table get paid to write about poker.

3. One player starts live-blogging the action out loud during the game.

2. Small Blind, thinking everyone has folded to his raise, turns his cards face up. You protest that you're still in the hand, he apologizes and agrees to play the hand with his cards face up. He proceeds to beat you anyway.

1. The guy sitting next to you has Phil Gordon's cell phone number.

Yeah, I got Gordo's digits. I'm gonna sell April his phone number... one number at a time. By the way, don't forget to check out Clareified.
posted by Pauly at 9/28/2005 09:08:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Serious Link Dump

I have a ton of random blogworthy news stories that people have sent me or have been sitting in my bloglines folder. Here they are...

Thieves Snort Dogs Ashes Thinking it's Coke... oh brother. Jacked up, broke, and retarded. Here's a bit:

The burglars thought they had hit the jackpot when the saw the pale-coloured powder marked "Charlie" — slang for cocaine — in a pot on pet-lover Dee’s mantelpiece. But they were unaware the pot was an urn and the "drugs" really the remains of her beloved Newfoundland Charlie, who died in 1997.

When Jenna isn't cruising Craig's List looking for sexual partners, she sends me funny ass blurbs like this one... My Crazy Pothead Neighbor.

Trey is going on tour! Here are his fall tourdates. I'm down for the NYC show and possibly the LA one.

Speaking of Trey, there was a kick ass benefit concert in Berkeley that featured Trey and Bobby and other members of the Grateful Dead in a tribute to the music of Jerry Garcia. I wish I could have gone and checked that out.

There was a member of the Bush Junta busted for drunken driving. This time it was Jeb's youngest son's turn. He's the bad seed in the Bush clan, which means he'll be president in 2024.

And this bit about High Altitude Hijinks made me laugh. But where the fuck is the beverage cart deffication?

This gives me hope.... A Journalist and Blogger Tries Teaching. Someday I'll get to teach a class on bongmaking and blogging.

Showering Together is written by the greatest American living writer, Neal Pollack. And it has nothing to do sex rather on how to survive baby showers!

This sounds interesting... Dutch Talk-Show Host to Take Heroin On the Air. Just what we need. More smack-shooting monolouges. I wonder if Conan will smoke crack and Letterman will toke up this week?

Speaking of bongs... how about the new vodka that comes in a bong?

The O.C. is coming out with a video game and it makes me wonder if it will feature a shrinking Summer and a poorly dressed Marissa?

I dug this piece froma guy who wrote a guide to getting laid on campus.
posted by Pauly at 9/27/2005 09:43:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Catch Up

I'm still feeling the effects of the Bash at the Boathouse, a long week of covering the WPT at the Borgata, and a week long bender in Europe. My goal is to try to get some rest this week which is tough to do with a hectic schedule. Monday morning was catch up day for me. I figured out that it takes me two whole days per week that I'm out on the road to catch up with all the work that lags behind. I was away for two weeks, so that means I should be caught up by Friday. That won't happen of course because something always comes up. Plus I just picked up a new project to undertake and that's going to need some of my attention over the next upcoming weeks. It has the potential to be pretty cool. Stay tuned for that annoucement.

I spent most of yesterday afternoon writing two freelance articles. If you would like to read some recaps of recent tournamentsthat I covered, check out:

EPT Barcelona Open - Final Table Recap (Poker Player Newspaper)
WPT Borgata Open - Final Table Recap (Poker Player Newspaper)

I also spent some of yesterday feeling like a New Yorker again. I rode the subway and ate three slices of pizza. I finally sat down and watched a bunch of stuff that Derek had TiVo'd for me. I saw the last two episodes of The O.C. and I'm convinced that Summer loses 4 pounds every episode, or one pound for every fifteen minutes of programming. I also saw all the epidoes of the WSOP that I missed including TJ Cloutier winning a bracelet. Talk about a special moment.
posted by Pauly at 9/27/2005 07:32:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Bash at the Boathouse 2005

"Put that coffee down! Coffee is for closers." - Blake, Glengarry Glen Ross

Call it an omen. Or foreshadowing. Or a gut feeling. After a handful of us polished off three bottles of the Nectar of the Gods on Friday night, I sensed it was going to be a long weekend bender of wickedness and depravity. Perhaps it was hearing Derek violently puke in the parking lot outside the diner at 1am late Friday night that reminded me of the seriousness of partying with professional alcoholics. Kids don't try this at home. AlCantHang and BigMike are machines that run efficiently on heavy quantities of Southern Comfort. To try to keep up with them is liquid suicide. However, once a year people come from all over the world to make a valiant effort to hang with AlCantHang. Shit, no one even comes close to hanging with EvaCanHang. Everyone always fails miserably and in the wee hours after the Bash at the Boathouse is over, you could see the carnage spilled out all over the vicinity of the Boathouse. Bodies are randomly passed out in cars, in ditches, and on bathroom floors.

One of the side affects of attending the Bash is amnesia. After the 13th shot and your brain pickled in SoCo, you begin to lose time. Huge blotches of your memory are a blank and that's when you slip into the depths of utter helplessness and stupidity. Just ask Otis.


Poker?

Before we headed to the Boathouse, Derek, StB, Bobby Bracelet, and myself played a quick SNG in my suite. We used Good & Plenty as chips. I busted out first followed by Bobby Bracelet. Derek went heads up with StB, and StB ended up winning the Good & Plenty Championships. Congrats!

The afternoon at the Boathouse began with poker. There were two tables going on the deck. One table was spreading 2-4 Horse (Featuring Otis, Bad Blood, Joaquin, Mike, Helix, and Bobby Bracelet) while I started up a NL table. I ended up dropping $80 or two buy ins.

My table:
Seat 1: Spaceman
Seat 2: F Train
Seat 3: Pauly
Seat 4: Carter
Seat 5: Stephanie
Seat 6: StB (and later... Mike)
Seat 7: Landow
Seat 8: Derek
Seat 9: Mrs. Spaceman

3:50pm... Derek defend his blind to my preflop raise and flopped wo pair with 3-6. Ughhh.

3:54pm... Derek and Mrs. Spaceman were involved in a ahuge hand. Derek raise, Mrs. Spaceman re-raised. Derek moved all in and she called. He had A-K and she flipped over the Hilton Sisters! The flop was Q-J-8. She flopped a set but Derek flopped a gutshot Broadway straight draw. The turn was a 10, and Derek hit his gutshot. The river paired the board, to give Mrs. Spaceman a full house. Wow! What a hand.

4:00pm... Bar officially opens and I start to lose most of my stack right around the same time. Coincidence?

4:05pm... Deek rebuys.

4:20pm... Spaceman rebuys.

4:27pm.. StB drops the Hammer.

4:34pm... StB rebuys when his 10-10 loses to Landow's set of 3s.

4:37pm.. Landow drops the Hammer.

4:445pm... I rebuy.

5:07pm... I went on a drink run upstairs. You gotta love Pennsyl-tucky. What would have cost me over $100, only ran around 1/3 the price. For the rest of th enight, I'd be drinking on AlCantHang's tab. I would love to see that bill.

5:26pm... I won the only hand of the night when my Q-Q held up against Landow's 505.

6:20pm... I busted out against F Train when my Hammer is no good against his 4-7o. I flopped a open ended staright draw and he flopped the straight!

6:21pm... I stopped recording poker and started drinking heavily. Stephanie end up the big winner along with Carter and Mrs. Spaceman. I think F Train and Landow both finished up.


Pennsyl-tucky

Derek went to school in central Pennsylvania and calls pretty much everything outside of Philly and Pittsburgh... Pennsyl-tucky. There are a lot of rednecks scattered all over the state and the crowd at the Boathouse was a nice mixture of people from all walks of life. I'm not complaining about the skanky girls in attendance. I think skanky chicks always add flavor and zest to any social gathering. After five weeks of traveling through Las Vegas, Colorado, South Carolina, New York City, Amsterdam, Barcelona, and Atlantic City, I found myself in the middle of Pennsyl-tucky swapping cheap Mardi Gras beads for a glimpse of a random woman's breasts. I hadn't seen that much skin since Grubby and I went strip club hopping in Las Vegas. I heard that Derek even got to see someone's beaver.


The Lewey Award

This year I have to present a special award... the Lewey Award for Public Intoxication. It was a close race, but F Train edged Otis out.

If you don' know, F Train is 90 pounds soaking wet. And he was pounding drinks all afternoon. By the time the night rolled around, he was hammered. He even walked up to Derek and punched him in the ribs. It was more comical than anything else, but Derek didn't think it was funny and calmly walked away. Congrats to F Train on winning such a prestigious award. If you don't know, Lewey had a huge spill after he sprinted down a steep hill and suffered some serious road rash when he slipped and tumbled onto the concrete.


Quotes

Here are some random things I overheard over the night:

"Don't you guys stop drinking for five fuckin' minutes?" - The bartender

"What's the spank bank?" - Mrs. Spaceman.

"Whiskey dick? I'm all about the whiskey dick!" - F Train

Random Girl (shunning Joaquin's advances): "My boyfriend is on the band."
Joaquin: "The band sucks. He'd never make it in New York City."

Bobby Bracelet aka the Ladies Man

Bobby gave his best to get his micro penis some action. We admire him for that. I was highly entertained watching Bobby Bracelet work his magic and spread his mojo around the Boathouse. He had been working a particular chick for two days and he finally got her to go home with him less than one hour before last call. And you call yourself a Varsity letterman, Bobby? I seriously expected better results from the 860th best poker player in America. He couldn't close the deal. As Joaquin phrased it best, "He's just like Chad Pennington. Three and out." There were a few props bets going on whether or not Bobby Bracelet could close the deal. At least Bobby got to have his junk felt up on Friday night and he got to suck face in the corner of the Boathouse with a local girl.


Otis Falls Down?

Mrs. Spaceman looked like she was having good time. And Otis stumbled around the Boathouse late night. A few of us were on Otis Watch, just to make sure he didn't fall down. He came close several times, but always managed to keep his balance. I nearly lost my shit when an incoherent Otis sat down at a table filled with people he didn't know and started talking, which was more like a form of babbling. He eventually trailed off into making hand gestures before he stood up and staggered away. At one point, Otis went from behind moderately drunk to propelling himself up to the chiplead for "drunkest guest." That's when the question on everyone's mind was not if Otis would fall down, but rather, will Otis puke?


I wish I had more time to write up a longer post. I might add more later inlcuding some pics and possibly some video clips. For now, thanks to Al, Evanne, and Big Mike for throwing another successful event. Carter didn't pass out this year. The food was great. The booze was free. BigMike raised good money for a great cause. I got to hang out and chat with Mike, who's a big fan of my blogs. And the bands were pretty good... both Petey and the Bandcampers and the AlCantHang Experience. I think one of the other bands was the same from last year, the one with the semi-chunky female lead singer with huge jugs that BG and I tried to hit on at the bar and she blew us off.

The only bad thing about the Boathouse this year was... no running of the Lewey. Maybe next year.

****** ******

Carter posted some pics of the Boathouse Bash... here.
posted by Pauly at 9/26/2005 02:02:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Pre-Boathouse

I'm about a few hours before game time. Al Cant Hang is hosting is annual Bash at the Boathouse. You can read all about last year's bash... here. Be sure to scroll down and read all the other posts about that crazy weekend last year which included a trip to the Borgata.

Anyway, here's a run down of the events in the last 24 hours:

1. Derek, Mrs. Spaceman, and I watched Jason Spaceman bust out in the $300 + $40 US Poker Championships at the Taj in Atlantic City. I had a piece of Spaceman!
2. Derek & I got caught in Philly traffic. Not pretty.
3. We arrived at the Boathouse at 4:20pm for pre-party.
4. Watched StB drink 17 different kinds of beer.
5. I drank 2 Lagers, 1 Red Stripe, and several SoCos. I told myself I was "taking it easy."
6. EvaCanHang flashed us. Yes, I saw boobies.
7. Bobby Bracelet gets erections. It was "thrice confirmed" by a lovely young lady who willingly rubbed up against the junk of the 860th greatest poker player in the world.
8. BigMike tipped $130 on a $270 tab.
9. Bobby Bracelet made fun of the generic ketchup aka Red Gold at the diner.
10. Derek pulled off another successful "puke and rally" in the parking lot at the diner.
11. I almost hit a deer.
12. Bobby Bracelet and StB sang Footloose on the way home from the diner.
13. Two words: chipped beef.
14. I lost a prop bet with Al andBigMike. They bet me $100 I couldn't eat 6 crackers within 60 seconds. I could barely get three down.
15. AlCantHang danced by himself in a protest for the crappy music the DJ at the Bathouse was playing.

Later today we'll find out an answer to the eternal question... Will Otis fall down? Scholars, scientists, religious leaders, and oddsmakers have been baffled for decades trying to come up with proper scenarios.
posted by Pauly at 9/24/2005 11:02:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Borgata Pauly

I'm currently at the Borgata Casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey covering the World Poker Tour. Last night I worked for 18 straight hours on the casino floor. I didn't get to sleep until 7am. I'm back again for the taping of the final table.

Here are some pictures that I took over the last few days:


New WPT Hostess Courtney Friel (click to enlarge)


Erick Lingren (for Heather & the April Sisters)


The remaining players on Day 2


Evelyn Ng


John D'Agastino


The Poker Room at the Borgata


Barry Greenstein and Mike Matusow


Clonie Gowen stares down the opposition


Steve Dannemann aka WSOP runner up


Erick Lindgren in deep thought


Three Queens: Kathy Liebert, Evy Ng, and Clonie Gowen
(click on photo to enlarge)


Evy Ng = 11th place
posted by Pauly at 9/22/2005 04:20:00 PM | Permalink |

 
More Barcelona Pics: Final Table


Announcing the final table in Barcelona


Me & Thomas


posted by Pauly at 9/20/2005 08:01:00 PM | Permalink |

 
On the Road Again

I got into NYC late last night, slept for a few hours, and now I have to go pick up a rental car and drive to Atlantic City to cover a World Poker Tour Event for the next few days! I'm super tired and would love to sleep for several more hours. Oh well. At least I'll get to see a lot of fellow media folks that I met in Las Vegas. They are curently in AC as we speak and started covering Day 1 of the Borgata Open which started on Monday. I'm showing up a day late.

I miss Europe already! And can't wait to go back.
posted by Pauly at 9/20/2005 06:43:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Some Random Pics from Spain


Church near the beach in Sitges, Spain


Sign for a big wine festival


Cannon points out to sea


More church action


Vee-Dub on Mad's patio


My Street in Sitges written in Spanish and Catilan


Behind the scenes at the TV table in the Casino de Barcelona


Gus Hansen napping during a TV break
posted by Pauly at 9/19/2005 10:44:00 AM | Permalink |

 
The Barcelona Open

Well, I'm done with covering the Barcelona Open at the Casino de Barcelona. Frenchman Jan Boubli won the event (and $416,000 Euros) and I got to announce the final table for the audience again. I messed up several times because I was more nervous. On Saturday there were not too many people in the crowd and the early stages of a poker tournament are not as important as the final table. But there I was under the hot lights for two hours. All my fellow media reps were more than helpful in making sure I was comforatble. Plus the nice gals who were the production assistants did their best to make things flow smoothly. That British production team was prfessional and a lot cooler than ESPN, who covered the World Series of Poker in Las Vegas.

If you want to read about what happened in more details, visit my poker blog to read the recap.

Oh, yesterday, I ate lunch at the mall next to the Princess Hotel. Man, it was jam packed with hot women on a Saturday afternoon. Talk about leaps and bounds from the skinny toothless crack whores who roamed the hallways at the Redneck Riviera.

So my short-lived European TV career has come to an end. David Hasselhoff can breathe a sigh of relief. Although, I hear I'm huge in Belgium. I love that "line" from the 1990s flick Singles when Matt Dillon played the stoner lead singer of Citizen Dick, which also included actual members from Pearl Jam, and he told a music reporter that his band was big in Europe.

I spoke to John Duthie, creator of the EPT and he said some positive things about my annoucing stint yesterday. "It's good to hear an American voice do poker. It's proper." His feelings were echoed by one of the guys in the "truck." He explained, "When you hear a documentary, you expect to hear a British voice. With poker, it's natural to hear an American voice. It sounds right." Maybe I can parlay this into a gig! Ah, probably not. They were all being nice. I'm glad I didn't fuck up as a pinch hitter.

Here are some random pics:


The final 5 tables


Media Row


Moving all in


The Prize Money!


Seat 1: Gus Hansen (Denmark) 3 time WPT Champion


Seat 2: Patrick Mortensson (Sweden)


Seat 3: Jan Boulbi (France)


Seat 4: Romain Feriolo (Spain)


Seat 5: Christer Johansson (Sweden)


Seat 6: Patrik Antonius (Finland)


Seat 7: Anton "Doogie Howser" Bergstroem (Sweden)


Seat 8: Dario Alioto (Italy)


Jan celebrates his victory


Jan Boubli the 2005 Barcelona Open Champion


Jan's check


I was filling in for Thomas Kresmer
That's it for now. On Tuesday, I'll be in Atlantic City, NJ for a few days where I'll be covering the World Poker Tour and the Borgata Open.
posted by Pauly at 9/18/2005 12:05:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Saturday in Spain

It's raining in Spain. I didn't think that happened. Anyway, I woke up before Noon. I was up until past 6am writing a few articles. The first day of the Barcelona Open concluded at 4:30am local time. Today will be the final day.

Yesterday was pretty crazy. For lunch, I crashed the Poker Stars luncheon for their players who qualified online. On a big screen in the center of the room, they showed clips from last year's EPT Barcelona event, which was cool because I never saw any of the episodes since they are not aired on American TV. Brandon told me that most of the episodes from Season 1 are available for download at bit torrent. I also got to eat another meal with Brandon and two of his friends from Seattle. It's hard not to root for such a nice guy.

Conrad from Poker Stars spoke for a little bit and he even introduced me as a reputable member of the American media. He's obviously never read any of my clips!! Ha! I've been eating fish at every meal since I arrived in Spain and lunch was no different. I also got to catch a glimpse of the stunning Caroline Flack, who is the hostess for the EPT. She's the Shana Hiatt of the EPT and was conducting random player interviews during the luncheon. Talk about a hottie!

I headed over to the casino to set up my stuff. Luckily, they added wifi access for members of the media and I was in press row again with members from Poker Stars, the Brits over at Gutshot, and the Irish guys from Antes Up.

Then, out of nowhere, I was asked to annouce the "feature TV table" for the audience at the Casino de Barcelona. There are twenty five plus table sint he poker room, but the TV production company set up a TV set where they tape the table. I would stand up at the TV table with a microphone and annouce "Gus Hansen raised to 1200" and stuff like that. I was more like an emcee.

It was surreal!

Poker Stars is sponsoring the European Poker Tour (EPT). Otis works for Poker Stars and he introduced me to a ton of big wigs during the WSOP in Vegas. He didn't make it out for this trip but I hung out witha ton of Poker Stars folks that I met through him.

Anyway, although im freelance here, I'd been tagging along with Team Poker Stars. They took me out to dinner a bunch of times and I haven't paid for too many drinks either. They have been very very generous and I told them that if they needed any help during the EPT, to simply ask.

Well Tamar, who is a big wig at Poker Stars, came up to me yesterday while I was setting up in media row. She was flustered and asked if I would like to annouce the feature TV table. Now since it was Day 1, the production comnpany decided to include some action just like at the WSOP. Usually they only tape the final table. This was not a final table so it wasnt as crucial that the regular guy do it... the Tournament Director Thomas Kresmer. He was busy trying to actually run the tourney and get alternates in since the event was over sold. They olny had space for 250 and had 90 players on the wait list! 325 ended up playing.

So, I alternated with another guy from Poker Stars. Like every other hour we'd take turns announcing the TV table for the crowd. I was super nervous at first because Gus Hansen was at the table! From Denamrk, Hansen is one of the best players in Europe. He cracked A-A with Q-8s when he got quad queens.

Anyway.... I doubt that I'd actually make the actual airing. I'm sure my ugly mug will get lost on the cutting room floor. The EPT shows are 90 minutes long and they also have a 60 minute version for EuroSport (England's version of ESPN). I know that the WSOP emcees barely get any TV time on ESPN. But, since I watched those guys do it so closely, I tried to do my best imitation of the guys that I met in Las Vegas who did that job like Johnny Grooms.

So the TV production crew gave me a quick rundown on what to do. I got to sit in the TV truck for that meeting. On the set, they had cute British chicks as the production assiatnts and they would guide me along.

Here's the funny thing, the dealers and players thought I was part of the actual tournament staff so they ask me for rulings! I thought that was hilarious. It was cool to watch Gus Hansen play up close.

Anyway, Day 2 begins very soon and I might do some announcing again for an hour or so. Once the final table is set the normal guy will resume his duties.

Seriosuly... what a long strange trip it's been!

I was super nervous and finally got the hang of it! Plus the folks at Poker Stars and the British prouction team were pleased with my efforts to step in at the last minute. Bonus Points! Perhaps I can parlay this into an actually annocuing job on the Poker Channel which is huge in England right now. Too bad the EPT isn't aired in America. Bastards! But I heard you can download epsiodes off the net.
posted by Pauly at 9/17/2005 08:50:00 AM | Permalink |

 
More Barcelona Stories

On Thursday night I headed over to the Casino de Barcelona to survey the scene. They didn't have wifi set up and that could have been a problem. European casinos are much smaller than in Las Vegas. I pretty much drank at the bar a few steps away from the poker room and ran into a few Irish poker players/bloggers that I met in Las Vegas during the World Series of Poker. Mike "Lucky Blind" Lacey and Tom Murphy run Antes Up and we drank a lot together in Vegas. It was good to see some familiar faces.

I had diner with Mad and her coworkers at Poker Stars. Also attending was Brandon Schaefer. He's from Seattle and he won a EPT event in France last year and came in 2nd at the Grand Finale in Monte Carlo. He's a really nice guy and when I introduced myself he said, "I love your poker blog! It's the best one around."

Wow. Great to hear that professional players read my stuff.

Anyway, we all ate at a nice place near the Olympic Village. There's a part of Barcelona that was developed for the 1992 Olympics and it's amazing. I ate black rice with seafood. Since I arrived in Spain, I've been eating nothing but fish and drinking nonstop. Dinner lasted for a fe whours and we drank a ton of wine. Mostly everyone here from Poker Stars is British. So I've been hanging out with Brits.

Oh by the way, my Spanish is so horrible that when I try to sepak it, most locals asnwer me back in English.

Here are a few pictures:


My dinner


Some cool buildings near my hotel


Street art


Welcome!
posted by Pauly at 9/16/2005 08:35:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Welcome to Spain

Hola folks. I arrived in Barcelona yesterday via KLM around 7pm local time and was greeted by Mad. She's British and was Otis' assistant at the WSOP and we got along great in Las Vegas. She lives in Sitges, a tiny coastal town about 30 minutes South of Barcelona. She agreed to let me crash at her flat on my first and last nights in Spain if I let her read two of my novels Jack Tripper Stole My Dog and Sweet Nothing. I brought two manuscripts with me and Mad was delighted to have them both. For now, I'm crashing in Sitges and that town is amazing. A lot of people who live in Barcelona have holiday and summer homes in the resort town of Sitges.

On the way from the airport to Sitges, Mad pointed out all the hookers who lined up on the highway! She noted that was excellent fodder for my blog. Some of the prostitutes actually have a lounge chair and a few have umbrellas to protect them from the sun. It's well know that the hookers are populating that stretch of highway. A quick glance insured me that the Spanish hookers are way better looking than the Amsterdam hookers.

I got wicked wasted again last night and I'm hungover for the third consecutive day. I drank red wine, Mojitas, and beer. Mixing wine, liquor, and beer will do horrible and dreadful things to your head and stomach. I also have another story which I cannot blog here. Shit, I got at least a dozen stories so far that I can and will never blog about. You'll have to wait to read the novel.

Mad introduced me to her friends. Most of them were Brits living here, some were Americans. Everyone was laid back and extremely welcoming. I also met a slew of hot Spanish girls thanks to Mad. She introduced me as a famous American writer. They give you a double kiss when they meet you, even if it's the first time. A few of them laughed as I tried to extend my right hand to shake hands. I looked like a total dork.

We played pool and drank Mojitas at a nice place called Magma. By the way, Spanish rules at pool are much different from what I'm used to. Slop counts and you have to sink the 8 ball in the opposite corner of the last ball you knocked in. I know, it's weird. I thought maybe they were trying to hustle me. They just had odd rules. By the way, Mad is a pool shark. She's got skills at the table.

Mad was giving me shit because I was gawking at one woman in particular. She was blonde and she happened to be an American ex-pat. Alas, I told Mad that I was gawking at all the women in that bar, not just her. Sitges is known to have a high gay population. When we walked down one street in particular, Tamar joked that all the guys were ignoring her and Mad and were all checking me out instead. Even though my package is designated for the ladies only, it's always flattering to have anyone check out my crotch.

We ate dinner at a nice place. I had sea bass and drank wine. We hit up two different bars in Sitges. So far, my Spain experience has been amazing. We stumbled home after 2am and had to get up early to go catch a train to Barcelona.

The train cost a little more than 2 Euros. It sped along the coast and I caught magnificent views of the Mediterranean Sea. The sun sparkled off the water and although I was hungover pretty good, I had one of those moments you get sometimes when you are a long way from home. I couldn't believe what I was getting to see and do. Not so fond memories of all those weeks, months, and years of struggling as a writer came to the front of my mind. Gazing out to sea I reminded myself to enjoy every waking second I'm here.

We caught a cab from the train station to the Princess Hotel. I got to see a little bit of the city and from what I saw it's magnificent. From my room in the hotel, I can see the water a few blocks away. The pool is two floors down but no topless sun bathers so far.

The $4,000 Euro buy-in Barcelona Open begins tomorrow at the Casino de Barcelona. So tonight, I have nothing to do. I expect to catch up on some reading and writing. Man, I have so much to write down. I'll wander around the city and get lost which I like doing. That's how you discover stuff most normal tourists don't get to see.

I have run into two somewhat serious problems here in Europe. The first one is the hardest. My ATM card won't work! I usually take cash with me but for some reason, I only took a few hundred Euros and luckily I have some of my bankroll with me which I converted that to Euros. The exchange rate killed me and I'm now on a tight budget the rest of the trip. That's probably a good thing. Me running rampant through Barcelona with a wad of Euros is -EV.

The second problem is that I fucked up and didn't bring the correct USB cable that connects to the camera Flipchip gave me. I have several hundred pics that I cannot upload! That particular plug is about half the size of the one my digital camera uses. So for now, I only have a handful of pics that I took with my small camera. All the good pics are in limbo. I'm going to try to find a small plug today. Otherwise, I really fucked up badly. I'm kinda miffed at myself. I made a checklist and I thought I took the correct plug.

That's it for now. Have to go write and look for a USB plug. More to come.

Here are some random pics from Amsterdam:


Random sign


Fat kids are funny in any language.

Fries with Dutch mayo


Vee-Dub along the canal near Holland Casino


I think it says, "No pissing!"


No comment
posted by Pauly at 9/15/2005 08:14:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Amsterdam Part II

I left the windows open before I crashed. When we awoke, the room was filled with cool Amsterdam morning air. It was a cloudy day and you smell the rain coming. The previous two days have been sunny and pleasant. Today it's dark and chilly. The weather fits my mood on the day I'm about to leave.

I didn't think I was going to make it on Monday night. After one hour of sleep on my flight, I was exhausted. I almost passed out three times over the course of Monday evening. All three times we were back in the room, but at the last second, I'd rally and find that extra burst of energy to go back out. It's the energy. Amsterdam has plenty of it and it's the type of city that gets me fired up afterwards to go write.

When you cross the street, you have to look both ways and pay attention or you're gonna suffer a collision with one pissed off person who's gonna curse your ass out in Dutch. I almost got hit a bunch of times by a cyclist. I figured that once every hour I almost walk right in the path of a bike lane. Beware the bikers. They have right of way over cars. I'm a New Yorker and we jaywalk everywhere. I almost saw some Dutch suit bite it yesterday when he nearly walked into a tram and some random guy saved him.

Museums in Amsterdam are kick ass. I've been to both the Rijks and the Van Gogh before and it's always fascinating to return to see amazing art. A walk through the galleries is always inspiring. We ran through both fairly quickly. I took a crap load of pictures of church steeples and hot Dutch girls on bicycles. I know Daddy wanks off to both.

In Japan, you'd see these tiny Japanese school girls in their tiny outfits get onto the most crowded subways. They looked adorable. In Holland, the private high schoolgirls trip me out. They all wear funky outfits. One group wears a black jacket, white shirt, black tie, black knickers, and pink knee high socks. I did a double take when I saw a group of ten peddle right by me. When we walked around the other day, I spotted another group of high school girls. That outfit was just a white shirt, blue skirt, and blue and white striped knee high socks. The third group were signing in a circle in Vondel Park. They had regular clothes on, but for some reason they all wore an over garment that resembled a chekered red and white picnic table table cloth. I wanted to take a picture, but I didn't know if immigration would be fond to find hundreds of shots of underaged Dutch girls on bicycles. I know Daddy likes to rub it out to those images.

Briana found a small pastry shop that sells kick ass croissants. They cost $0.80 Euros and I can eat three they are so tasty that they dissolve as soon as you bite into them. She went shopping yesterday. Amsterdam gets a bad rap for the hash bars and the hookers, but there's some pretty good shopping here. I'm oblivious. Usually, I'll go write or check email and Briana would go shopping. We wandered through the tulip bulb market along side one of the canals. Centuries ago, people used tulip bulbs as actual currency.

Spent more time in various cafes and hash bars and wandered back over to Vondel Park. We made more of an effort to talk to random people. We didn't want to say we were Americans, so we pretended that we were Canadians. I'd add, "eh?" to the end of my sentences and Briana said, "aboot" a lot. Ah, Europeans don't hate Americans as much as we think. They like us, they just hate our leaders. And the French hate everyone especially Lance Armstrong.

I ate fries with Dutch mayo. That stuff is better than ketchup. Miracle whip it is not.

Late night, I saw two Amsterdam bicycle cops pedal over to one guy walking down the street. When they yelled, "Hey, stop!" he should have darted through one of the alleys. He just stood there and tried to throw away a needle. One of the cops was a female and I realized that when some Europeans talk to one another, they use English as their common language. The junkie was Russian, as I noticed by his passport. The male cop detained him while the female cop made fun of the guy. "Do you think we are stupid? You did not even try to hide the needle."

The cops were laughing after their bust. Now you have to fuck up pretty hard core to get arrested in Amsterdam.

We tired to stay up very late and hit up various cafes, bars, and coffee shops. We played pool with a couple of Americans and I won about $50 Euros in different side bets. I was in much better shape on Tuesday and last until 6am while Briana passed out around 4am. I spent my last waking hours talking to drug dealers and drunk vagrants near Dam Square and the rest of the time writing. Most of the cafes and hash bars close at 1am.

Check out time is right about now and Briana has a train to Paris to catch and I have a few hours to kill before my train departs for Shipol Airport. I fly to Barcelona in a few hours. I was going to take the train to Barcelona, but the flight was cheaper.

It's time to go and it feels like I just got here. Man, I don't want to go either. I have that ill feeling I get in my stomach when I leave a place I really really like.

"Who says we can't move to Amsterdam?" was something Briana said as I sipped on my beer last night. It made sense to me.

I'd like to wander around the city some more and take photos, but it's raining. This break away from everything has been spectacular. No cellphones and no poker. But the poker hiatus is about to change...
posted by Pauly at 9/14/2005 04:20:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Amsterdam Day 1

I first visited Amsterdam almost a decade ago with Senor. One of the first things I scribbled into my notebook was, "Amsterdam is like another planet."

I rank Amsterdam up there with other carefree cities like Las Vegas, Old New Orleans, San Francisco and even New York City to some extent. In these places, there's a high tolerance factor for freaks and the freaks know this. They come out of the woodwork from all over the world it seems, waving their flags high and proud. I guess that's why there are so many hookers and hash bars and weirdos roaming the streets of Amsterdam. Indeed, the Dutch and specifically Amsterdam is one of the most tolerant cities you can ever visit. Amsterdam is diverse with people from all over the world, not just Europe. Thank God that summer is over and the hordes of backpackers have trickled off.

My flight from JFK to Amsterdam was nothing special except that the flight attendants on KLM wear these turquoise uniforms. They are super polite. I sat next to two Dutch sisters. One was incredibly smoking while the other was not. KLM has TVs embedded into the seats, so you can watch from a huge selection of new and old movies. I watched Hitchhicker's Guide to the Galaxy and Ocean's 11. I started watching The Godfather, but fell asleep. I wish I slept more, but I only passed out the last hour of my six and a half hour flight.

I arrived early just after Noon and hopped on a train to Central Station for $4 Euros. Briana booked a room at the Victoria Hotel. Talk about the complete opposite of the Flying Pig hostel. The swanky Victoria is the nicest hotel in Amsterdam and is located a few steps outside of Central Station. You can't miss it. Briana was standing out front waiting for me and my eyes nearly melted because I had not seen her in so long. She arrived the night before via Paris. She looked stunning. The two biggest changes... her hair is much shorter and she chain smokes like a champ.

We hadn't seen each other in a few months and aside from a few phonecalls (and one lengthy letter from Briana), we gave each other space and distance and freedom to do what we both had to do this summer. Over the next 24 hours we'd take turns visiting different cafes and hash bars. We'd alternate telling stories about this summer. I told Briana all about the Redneck Riviera, working with the Poker Prof, Flipchip's Vietnam stories, drinking during dinners at the Hooker Bar at the Rio with Otis and Amy Calistri, and playing poker in Las Vegas with Grubby. Briana's summer was relatively boring compared to mine. She smoked and read constantly and managed to finish a decent sized manuscript. Our favorite malcontent elevator button heiress penned a novel. She said that I inspired her. I read a few pages on the shitter this morning. It's interesting, kind of like The Bell Jar meets The Devil Wears Prada. The girl has potential.

She's been living in France since May and told me that the French found someone they hate more than George Bush.... and that's Lance Armstrong.

Yesterday we rented bikes and rode all over the city. Amsterdam is bicycle crazy. Nothing is hotter than seeing a smoking hot chick riding a bicycle. And they are everywhere. Everyone rides bikes. Businessmen, kids, old ladies, and hot chicks. Late at night, people still ride bicycles with cool head lights. Occasionally, you'll see one very drunk guy peddling home after too many beers at the pub. Late night, every few minutes or so, someone drunk cycles by screaming.

We spent some time in Vondel Park. I was content to be able to sit and enjoy life in a park. It's one of those moments when you feel the luck rushing through your veins. I listened to one of the best pieces of live music ever... the Greatful Dead's 5.8.77. (The few of you Deadheads know how sensational that show is!) Yeah I fired up 5.8.77 and watched Briana take a nap on the grass in the warm Netherlands afternoon sun.

Here's an actual conversation that happened around 3 o'clock yesterday:

Briana: Take me to go see the hookers.
Pauly: It's in the middle of the day. Only old hookers work the day shift.
Briana: Then let's go see the old hookers. I'm sure they have great stories to tell.

No one weaves a better tale than an old hooker. To hell with Hemingway. If he chugged 50,000 cocks in his day, I'm sure his writing would have a slight edge to it. If anything, it could become a new book idea... Existentialist Conversations with Hookers.

Briana walked away from the Red Light district a little depressed. Like many people she had a romanticized image of the world's oldest profession. She felt sorry for the old whores. In the highest trafficked area, you will see old and ugly hookers. They have been turning tricks since the Carter administration. The better looking ones are on the side streets and you have to navigate the narrow alleys and follwing the aroma of cheap sex in the air to find the doorways with the girls. And for $50 Euros, they can be yours for 15 minutes. It's weird to see a group of Japanese old ladies walk through soaking in the scene. You see scummy looking guys walking around the same block several times, circling for an available hooker.

The girls stand inside these rooms with glass doors. Most of them are wearing their underwear or other lingerie. Some of them try to get your attention and they knock on the window. Other's will wink at you or blow kisses. Some will actually touch themselves. On the day shift, I spotted several girls yapping on their cellphones. One was reading the paper. Another was watching TV. No matter what, do not take pictures of them.

Briana and I estimated that a prostitute there averages 2,500 Johns a year. That's $125K Euros a year after taxes and fees to rent the space. But even if they are clearing $60K a year, that's almost twice as much as teachers in NYC make. What does this say about us? Seriously, 2,500 tricks a year? That's gotta start to hurt after a while?

We spent the late night sitting in a few cafes drinking beers near Dam Square. I found one bar that I've been to in the past with Senor. They had drafts for $1.90. We'd sit around and play "Guess what country I'm from?" For $20 a pop, we'd pick out a person or group and try to guess their country of origin. Americans are the easiest to spot. I got killed. I dropped about $200 Euros in that -EV game for me. Briana's been living in Europe for almost four months so she has home field advantage. I'm already down bigtime gambling in Europe and I haven't even set foot into a casino.

Anyway, I don't have too much time. We're fixing to see a few museums today and take photos. I leave for Barcelona tomorrow.

*****

By the way, congrats on my brother Derek, who finished in 4th place in the Poker Stars Hurricane Katrina charity tourney!
posted by Pauly at 9/13/2005 04:20:00 AM | Permalink |

 
The Day Before

I've been writing, partying, and traveling all of my life to prepare for the next two weeks. I'm leaving for Europe in a few hours. I'll be in Amsterdam until Wednesday morning and then I fly to Barcelona to cover the first event (the Barcelona Open) on this year's European Poker Tour. I have never been to Barcelona before and that adds to the excitement of this trip. Plus I get to see a lot of European media and press (and players) whom I worked with during my stint in Las Vegas covering the EPT like the Irish guys from Antes Up... Mike Lucky Blind Lacey and Tom Murphy and the crew from Blonde Poker. Not too mention the folks I met through Otis at Poker Stars, especially his lovely asistant Mad, who lives just outside of Barcelona. She offered to let me crash at her flat before the event begins and I move into the swanky Princess Hotel.

Amsterdam is a city where I've wrecked havoc in the past. I always like going back. My time there will be dedicated to rest and relaxation, oh and I get to see Briana for the first time in four months. I even got a haircut. I'm assuming we're going to be spending a significant amount of time swapping stories about our summer while sitting in cafes, taking long walks through Vondel Park, while trying to score a bottle of Absinthe.

After Barcelona is over I have to fly back to NYC. That day will be one pain in the ass. I fly Barcelona to Amsterdam via Paris. And then Amsterdam to NYC. I wish I found a cheaper direct flight from BCN to JFK, but no such luck. When I arrive home in NYC, it will be after Midnight. I'll have a few hours to collect myself, write, shower, get a fresh batch of underwear and the remainder of my bankroll before I pick up a rental car and drive to Atlantic City to cover the WPT Borgata Open. Talk about a hectic traveling schedule. Ah, but that's why I get paid the big bucks. But of course my entire two week trip ends with the Bash at the Boatyard courtesy of Al Cant Hang. I can't think of a better week to end a two week trip than to celebrate it with Al and his crew.

I'm still shocked that a degenrate psychopath like myself is getting to cover poker tournaments. As always, thanks to the Poker Prof for the giving me this amazing opportunity to write and travel. Keep that bail money handy.

Depending on internet access, I will be updating my blogs as often as I can. In addition, Flipchip hooked me up with a new camera. So unless I fuck up things completely or it gets stolen by a hooker in Amsterdam, I should have some quality photos to post here and on Las Vegas and Poker Blog.

Before I head to the airport, I wacthed Jets play their opening game. I have a feeling it's gonna be a long season for Gang Green after their awful first half. It's all about how well Curtis Martin rushes this year. And if Chad Pennington can hold onto the friggin' football. Damn, I miss football. Wait, I meant to say... I miss gambling on football.

I haven't packed yet. I did a rare pre-pack the other night and realized I was taking too much shit. So I condensed everything to my laptop case and one carry-on bag. I will pack after the Jets game. I got my passport, $400 in Euros, some of my poker bankroll in Benjamins, a camera, seven pairs of underwear, my laptop, and a map of Barcelona. I'm ready for my European excursion.


Vegoose Update

The Joker and I scored tickets for several late night shows during Vegoose including Trey Anastasio Band, STS9, Widespread Panic, and Dave Matthews with Tim Reynolds. We're hoping to pick up hippie/hispter chicks at the Dave & Tim show.


Final Thoughts

I've been running awful in September. My bankroll took a hit. I know 1/3 of the losses has been playing in Katrina Relief tournaments, so that money went to a good cause. However, I had a bad run at the $5/10 tables on Party Poker and that's why I'm down this month. I always like to be running good before I go away on a trip. I will try to play in Barcelona or in Atlantic City. Talk about two contrasting gambling scenes... from the uber-rich to the uber-desperate.

Last night I hung out with some old friends. I've known Senor and Gitty for fifteen years, since college and I've known Girtz for almost a deacde. We had a few drinks in the Village and caught up with each other's busy lives. In the mid 1990s we used to hang out all the time together and now that we're all in our 30s, we all are on different paths in life. We sat at table in the back of Dublin (near the Whire Horse Tavern) and Girtz wanted to play cards. He ran outside to the bodega a few doors down and found a deck. We played $1/2 hold'em in the back of the bar for a few hours. A table of trendoids next to us played Connect Four. I lost a little bit and Senor cleaned up. I hate a late night slice of pizza and that soaked up all the SoCo I consumed furing the course of the night.

I taped an episode of the Lord Admiral Card Club with Sean on Friday night. Stop by his site and download this week's episode. It should be up by Sunday night.

That's it for now. The next time I post, it will be in Europe.
posted by Pauly at 9/11/2005 06:41:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Sunday Morning News Link Dump

Thanks to everyone who fowarded me Hunter S. Thompson's suicide note:

No More Games. No More Bombs. No More Walking. No More Fun. No More Swimming. 67. That is 17 years past 50. 17 more than I needed or wanted. Boring. I am always bitchy. No Fun - for anybody. 67. You are getting Greedy. Act your old age. Relax - This won't hurt.

Jenna sent me this hilarious bit called The Future of Tara Ried. Good God!

In music news, this month one of my favorite bands Galactic turns 10! Wow, very cool. I'm fixing to see them at Vegoose.

Woman arrested for having sex with an 8 year old is something that will be a Lifetime movie of the Week in a few months.

How about reading why Jack Kerouac was booted from the military? Where the fuck was Dean Moriarity?


In Hurricane Katrina News...

Kevin Smith is auctioning off walk on roles for Clerks 2 with proceeds going to the American Red Cross.

You must read A City in Ruins by Stephen Elliot.

Although this blurb is pretty old... Bar stays open during Hurricane and aftermath.

FEMA boss Michael Brown is removed from office. I wonder if anyone is going to take him out behind the shed?

Is this a pic of Iraq or New Orleans?

Here's a disturbing article on the New New Orleans will be richer and whiter.

Lastly, here's a something from the NY Times about Scams after the storm.
posted by Pauly at 9/11/2005 10:51:00 AM | Permalink |

 
In Memoriam

Jason Defazio
James Riches
Scott Hazelcorn
Matthew Burke
Charlie Heeran
Steven Schlag
Nigel Thompson


posted by Pauly at 9/11/2005 08:38:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Congrats Bro!

Big congrats to my brother Derek, who took second place in a MTT super satellite on Full Tilt last night. He won a seat into the WPT Borgata satellite, which will be running today at 3pm ET. Stop by Full Tilt today and sweat him! I'm already scheduled to cover that tournament, it would be cool if he wins a seat.
posted by Pauly at 9/10/2005 10:40:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Are You Ready for Some Football?

The rosters are set. The fifth annual Pauly's Pub Football Pool is underway. We have a record 32 teams (plus Mrs. McNabb) vying for the prestigious "Pauly's Pub Cup." Who's gonna win it this year?

big papi (Brad S.) *** 2004 Champion ***
Oyster Bay Moore (Joe Moore) *** 2003 Champion ***
Chico's Bail Bonds (Derek)
Speed & Weed (Armen)
Marlboro and Lungbutter (A. CantHang)
Coach's Picks (Coach)
Running Back Ribs (Schanzer)
I Like Pie (Drizz)
Well Tank's for Nuttin' (Jerry)
Austin Drunk (Matt S.)
Acrobatic Ass Assassins (Flopbot)
Chumpon Chum (Senor)
2 Knuckles Deep (Daddy)
Fat Man in a Trench Coat (BigMike)
What the deuce? (Landow)
jonbenet's panties (Iggy)
World of Dorkcraft (Poker Geek)
Spasmodic Reindeer (Poker Nerd)
Big Ole Good-ens (Mas)
El UnderGARmenTE (Ugarte)
Danger Bees (Joe Speaker)
BigBoobsMcGee (April)
Area Residents (GRob)
Buckeyes (Ferrari)
CornRowsNCrunkJuice (Spider)
Professional Poker Player (Chris Halverson)
Jetsetters (Gil)
Sycophantic Sheep (Boy Genius)
Reedy River Cards (Otis)
SweetlyRetarded (Bobby Bracelet)
JustaDrunkCanuck (Joanne)
Killer Beas (JK)
LetMeHearYourBattleCry (W. McNabb)
The Redneck Riviera (Pauly)

I want to thank everyone for participating. Best of luck this year. 2004 champion Brad S. is back to defend his title. His team Big Papi is technically the team to beat. If you have not paid me yet, then what the fuck are you waiting for?
posted by Pauly at 9/10/2005 10:39:00 AM | Permalink |

 
WCOOP Event #5

The World Championships of Online Poker have been going on all week on Poker Stars. Both Wil Wheaton and the Poker Nerd have been live blogging it. Otis has been regularly updating Poker Stars Blog with all the WCOOP action.

Thursday's event was a $200 NL rebuy tournament. I was offered a free roll thanks to Nolan Dalla who handed a few passes out to media types. A bunch of other bloggers played like CJ, G Rob, Iggy, Poker Nerd, and Wil. Some bought in and others also got the free roll. 2146 players entered WCOOP event #5. There were 1825 rebuys and 1235 add-ons in the prize pool. 225 places paid with over $218K going to the eventual winner. Some notable pros were playing such as Scott Fischman, Fossilman, Dustin "Neverwin" Wolf, Marcel Luske, and Noah "Exclusive" Boeken.

So how did I do? I got knocked out early. Hey, at least it wasn't my money, right?

I reraised a guy all-in with J-J. He called with AKs and flopped a friggin' flush. I needed a runner-runner straight flush to win and it didn't happen. I was eliminated in 1914th place. Not impressive at all. Wil was eliminated soon after me, when he made a move with QJ. He finished in 1848th place.

At that point I logged off and wrote. Here's how everyone else did:

Pauly 1914
Wil 1848
Poker Nerd 1561
G-Rob 940
CJ 799
Iggy 684
Marcel Luske 124
Exclusive 74
Fossilman 32

****** ******

Around Midnight, Daddy called me drunk from a bar in Indiana. He took me there in May and I played poker against a guy with no teeth. Anyway, he called to say how he enjoyed what a wrote about him. He's still a pussy ass pansy for walking away from his blog and needs to come to his senses.

I told him I knew how he felt about ending his blog. I've often contemplated pulling the plug on this poker blog and all of the other ones I write. Several times in the past few months I've had that internal discussion. In the end, I write about poker not because I love poker. I write about poker because I love to write. Poker happens to be one of my many interests. And when you stop by the Tao of Poker, you experience the full meaning of this site. Tao means "the way" or "the road." This blog is a means for me to share my experiences with poker in my daily life, or how poker follows me through my life's journey. There will come a time when that long strange trip ends.

All journeys end at some point.

But even if you quit a blog, unless you erase it, it will always exist. In many ways, this is how you achieve immortality. If the internet is around for the next century and the words you write are still stored for free on Blogger's server... then you will be heard in future generations.

And maybe one hundred years from now, someone will stumble upon this blog and discover that I know a guy who has fucked a donkey.
posted by Pauly at 9/09/2005 10:13:00 AM | Permalink |

 
The Rooster and Charity Wednesday

New York City is a pedestrian city. While walking around you most likely will encounter a "bump into." That's just local slang for, "Guess who I bumped into today?"

The more random the person, the more weirder or uncomfortable the situation. Like that one night stand you had with that woman from accoutning after too many happy hour Margaritas. Or some guy you went to high school with, whose name you forgot. Sometimes it's a welcomed bump into and you happen to randomly see someone you haven't seen or talked to in a while. The longer you lived in New York, the more likely you will see casually someone from your past. Sometimes you can bump into a celebrity. Or an old classmate. Or a former co-worker. Or an old teacher. Or some old guy that smelled like radishes that used to live in your apartment building. Thes bump ins can happen any time or any place. In the bathroom of a Knicks game. Crossing the street in the Village. On an uptown subway. Sitting on a bench in Central Park. In line at the Angelika movie theatre. At a hipster bar in SoHo. It's like having an acid flashback without the acid.

The more time you wander around outside, the better the chance you will bump into someone you know. In the mid 1990s, when we went out bar hopping looking for drunk Jewish chicks to dry hump, my buddy Senor and I used to make prop bets on which one of us will bump into someone we knew. I usually won since I lived in the city most of my life. One night we bumped into one of his friends Igor. Yes, Senor knew a guy named Igor who was drunk and eating falafel at 3am near Washington Square Park.

One of my most embarrassing bump into involved me and my buddy Gitty. This was back when he was in law school and I was just starting out as a writer, which meant I was perpetually unemployed living in Brooklyn with all the other tortured souls. We were getting drunk all afternoon at a bar when we decided to check out one of the local porn shops near Penn Station. On our way out of one of the XXX video stores, we bumped into a some girl we went to college with. Her name was Laura and she was working for a financial start up company. She was getting off of work and heading to the subway. And there we were... drunk as a skunk and holding a bag with freshly purchased porn. Gitty liked German bondage films. I preferred the Girl Next Door Cherry Poppers stuff. We all know Laura went home and emailed all her friends and sorority sisters from school, "Pauly and Gitty were buying porn and I busted them."

One of the most satisfying acts of revenge happened to be bumping into an old girlfriend (let's call her Sabine) with someone I just started dating (let's call her Betty), who incidentally was a hundred times cooler, better looking, and had a much higher tolerance for my vices such as gambling and the occasional foray into alco-narco substances. The current flame embodied everything the old flame detested. And the old flame dumped my ass hard and fast without any semblance of remorse. You should have seen the blood flush out of her face when I introduced the two.

"Pauly's told me so much about you," Betty said as she smiled and graciously shook the old flame's limp hand.

Women understand each other better than guys. That was code for, "Yeah, the good old doctor told me how you were an ultra-psycho cunt and were awful in bed. It's gonna take me at least one more year to get his head unscrewed from the damage both you and his mother inflicted upon him."

The old flame, Sabine, mustered up some courage and said, "Good luck."

That was code for, "Just wait until that asshole cheats on you, steals all your prescription pills, and sells your pubic hair on the internet for $35. Then who's gonna be smiling? You blonde bitch!"

So wait, where is this all going?

Today I decided to walk from Times Square to Grand Central Station. It takes about ten minutes and I sauntered past the crowd filled with office workers on their lunch hour and tourists. Along the way, I purchased some Euros from my bank and refused to accept the 50 Eruo bills he had counted out for me. Fifty dollar bills are bad luck and I'm not taking my chances with Euros. He grabbed me twenties and tens and I had a nice Eruo roll that could choke an ostrich.

So I'm reaching Grand Central Station, on my way to meet my lovely assistant Jessica for lunch, when all of a sudden I heard, "Hey Pauly!"

I looked over and there's the Rooster! Yeah, Joaquin himself was standing there. He was rushing to the West Side to meet a friend for lunch, while I was truckin' over to the East Side to do the same.

He wanted to know if I was going to play in one of the card rooms in Chinatown. Supposedly the owners think I'm sort of celebrity and offered me a free roll into one of their tournaments. I respectfully declined. I'm supposed to play in a freeroll for the WCOOP on Poker Stars Thursday afternoon and with the new season of The OC on at night, I was all booked up.

So after I said good-bye to Joaquin, I called my brother and said, "Guess who I just bumped into?"


Party Poker's Charity Tournament

Derek, Iggy, and Daddy (the blogger formerly known as SnailTrax) all played in the Party Pokercharity relief tournament for Hurricane Katrina. 494 players were in and 90% of the $30 buy in went to charity. I played pretty good. I got great cards and I made it to the final three tables. I was eliminated in 24th place out of 494. No money for me. But 90% of my buy in went to charity so it was all good.

Later today, I'll be playing in a WCOOP event on Poker Stars. I dunno if I'll have the time to live blog it. Check in tomorrow for a recap.
posted by Pauly at 9/08/2005 02:13:00 AM | Permalink |

 
He's Gone... Snail Trax Fades Away

The bad beat jackpot on Party Poker was hit during my Lamont Jordan Fantasy Football League draft. Bastards! I play in a pretty competitive fantasy league with 14 teams. $2200 goes to first place. The guys who play are mostly from Long Island. They all grew up with Jay Fielder and went to high school with him. Anyway, I had the second pick and went with Shaun Alexander. I feel lukewarm about my draft. I felt that I could have done a much better job. But picking players is like picking stocks. Somedays things go so awry, that you're better off betting on whether a monkey could fuck a football.

I've been in the writing zone. It usually takes me at least a day sometimes two to write a freelance article. On Monday, I wrote two back to back. I was on fire and today I cranked out more stuff. I kinda wish I didn't have to go travel because these writing rushes don't come along too frequently. It's like poker. You never know when they are going to come, but as soon as you think you're about to go on a rush, you have to do everything possible to maximize your potential during those rushes. Hence, right now. I'm gonna throw up a half assed post so I get get back to writing.

Since I got back home to NYC after living at the Redneck Riviera for almost three months, I've taken a hit in my online bankroll. I've been doing extremely well in live cash games and tournaments, but online has been a disaster. I cannot recall ever suffering from so many brutal beats. It's happening on different sites. Party Poker. Full Tilt. Noble Poker. Inside of five days, I lost a buy-in at a limit table three times. That's never happened to me before. It's one thing to lose a lot of hands when you are a clear favorite. I didn't receive an extraordinary amount of bad beats. It's just that the four or five most brutal beats were in some of the biggest pots. I didn't flip out or anything. I only went on moderate tilt once. The rest of the times, I lost my buy in, so I couldn't go on tilt. That's part of my stop-loss strategy. If I lose a buy-in, I leave. Pretty simple. In my hit and run days, I try to win half my buy in and then leave the table.

The bad beats are something that will always happen. So I sucked it up and kept playing. I won a little bit of that money back, but we'll see how much I can recover before I hit the road.

Moving on...

Daddy said he was going to pull the plug on his blog Snailtrax, or Snailshit as his old man refers to it. I had just one word for Daddy... Pussy!

It's a shame. He has one of the most unique voices I've come across. The blogging community lost a powerful personality. Whale pussy burritos. Deep fat fried bacon-wrapped butter sticks. Donkey fuckers. Molestation by old men over tree stumps. Damn, I'm gonna miss Daddy.

In homage to Daddy, you must read Three State Bender Part I: Donkey Fuckers and Hill Jack Boys. It's about hanging out with Daddy in Indiana this past May and my quest to learn more about the subtle art of donkey fucking. That might have been one of my favorite trip reports. Ever.

You know what, I pretty fuckin' sad today. I've only felt this atrocious feeling in my stomach a few times.... on 9.11, when Patrick Ewing got traded, when Jerry Garcia died, and when my ex-girlfriend died in a car accident.

Daddy not blogging is like watching Seinfeld without Kramer.

Daddy not blogging is like eating fat-free ice cream.

Daddy not blogging is like drinking O'Douls.

Daddy not blogging is like having sex with a dead cat that's not really dead.

I might have to start calling Daddy the Trey of Poker Bloggers. If you don't know a lot of Phish conspiracy theorists think that the lead singer and guitar player, Trey, sabotaged Phish and is the reason why my favorite band broke up. Now half of these people have been spun out on ecstasy since the Bush Junta took control, and the other half of those neo-hippies adored Phish in a fanatical and cultish way. When you take away something that's sounds so fuckin' good and is truly one of the few cool things out there... well people are going to be pissed and freak out. Now, I know why Phish broke up. It's hard to do something for twenty years and not being able to evolve as artists. Their lives were changing. Their needs were changing. Their art was stagnant. Something had to give.

Life is about cycles. And those cycles represent change. So if Daddy needs to change so be it. But I'm going to miss that donkey fucker. I don't know about you, but this is one of the saddest days in bloggerdom in a very long time.

He's gone, gone, nothin's gonna bring him back.
posted by Pauly at 9/07/2005 01:48:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Back to the Grind, Card Squad, and the Fat Guy

If you don't know, my brother is blogging over at Card Squad in addition to his own poker blog Poker in the Weeds. Derek got a job with them several weeks ago thanks to the lovely and talented Jen Leo. So far, he's been doing kick ass work. Joanne just started writing for Card Squad as well and is off to a great start too. And if having Derek and Joanne on the same poker blog isn't enough... they added Wil Wheaton to their roster. He's going to be posting the majority of his poker entries over at Card Squad instead of on WWdN. Wil will be live blogging from the WCOOP, which started the other night on Poker Stars. He's expected to play in 11 more events. I'm playing in one WCOOP event on Friday. Wil also mentioned me in a recent post. Thanks dude!

Anyway, take a peek at Card Squad. They got some pretty good writers over there. For more info about the WCOOP, stop by Poker Stars Blog.

By the way, the Fat Guy is doing something great that I have to bring attention to. He's helping set up temporary housing in Texas and needs your help! Stop by his site Buck's on the Brazos to find out how you can help Hurricane Katrina victims.

Over the weekend, I spent most of my time writing freelance articles, working on a few other projects, and answering email. I played a two online charity tournaments on Full Tilt that raised over $38K for Hurricane Relief and lost my shirt on Party Poker. Just when I finally get close to catching up on everything work related, I have to get ready for being on the road for two straight weeks ending with AlCantHang's infamous Bash at the Boathouse or "Boatyard" as Bobby Braceletlikes to refer to it. This upcoming week will be filled with trip preparations and more writing before I embark on some European misadventures. Living in Las Vegas was epic and a lot of fun, but I'd rather travel from city to city then be in one place for too long.

I have some good news. I've decided upon a selection for an upcoming book on travel stories edited by Jen Leo. She was cool enough to ask me to contribute to her book. I have two stories that I'm going to submit. One is about a bender in Amsterdam with my buddy Senor in 1996 involving a bathroom and two underaged French girls. The other, which I hope gets selected, is a short piece about my trip to Japan in 2000. I went there with Senor to follow Phish and we ran rampant through four Japanese cities in one week, partying it up and raising hell, along with meeting Japanese hippies that knew the words to every Beatles and Grateful Dead song.

I watched a little TV this weekend a caught an episode of Entourage. That show is freakin' hilarious. Favorite moment: when Johnny Drama stole the TV from his agent's office. Fuckin' priceless. When is Wil going to make a cameo? I watched the Yankees win 2 out of 3 against Joe Speaker's A's. I saw the Ring 2 and Naomi Watts is pretty hot, but the sequel was horrible. I really dig the first one but wasn't thrilled with the second one. She wasn't naked, not even one gratuitous nipple shot. Zilch.
posted by Pauly at 9/06/2005 12:37:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Productive Labor Day Weekend

The worst thing that happened to me this weekend was losing well over $300 playing online poker. The damage is probably a lot more, but those things happen. The best thing for me was playing in two charity poker tournaments online. The one on Friday night raised $14K and the one on Sunday night raised $24K... so a total of $38K will be going to Hurricane Katrina Relief. I'm going to try to play in two or three more of these tournaments.

I managed to write a decent amount over the last few days. The events in New Orleans inspired me to kick it up another gear. I'm working harder than before and enjoying small simple moments as much as I can. I've been trying to get the first part of my book proposal down and that took away some of my attention on completing the book itself. I'll need a good solid week with no distractions for that to happen. I'm hoping after I get home from Europe and Atlantic City, that I will be able to crank it out before I go back to Las Vegas in mid-October.

I wrote a few freelance articles and that's important because it pays the bills. I haven't made any money so far this month as a poker player so I'm relying heavily on my writing skills. Plus I just cut a $800 check for my over due cell phone bill. That hurts especially because I hate talking on the phone.

Here's several that got published recently:

1. Cyndy Violette player profile
2. Purity at the Poker Tables
3. The Stupidest Games I Ever Played
4. Before They Were Pros
5. A Look at Joe Hachem

I finally updated both my fotolog and my Phish blog. I've been seriously neglecting both. I went through the archives of my fotolog and I was impressive with the overall collection of photographs that I've posted and snapped over the past few years. My new goal is to set aside time each week to post on both. Most recently, I haven't had the time, but music and photography are passions of mine and I'm not going to let them slip away. I'll find the time.

I've been scrambling to figure out who to take in my Lamont Jordan Fantasy Football League draft, which is being held on Tuesday. Senor, Derek, and I are all sharing duties with one team this year. Uncle Jodd's band is back and we expect to win some cash this year. Last season we made the playoffs but lost in the first round. We have the second pick this year too and it's looking like we're gonna take Shawn Alexander. He's going to have to shoulder the load this year.

I've been busy working on my Pauly's Pub pools for college football, NFL Pick'em, and Grid Iron. That takes up more time than I'd like. It looks like we're going to have over 30 players in my NFL pool.

I finished reading a Marshall McLuhan book that I started before I moved to Las Vegas and never finished. I finally got around to reading blogs and news articles that I've been saving. My bloglines folder is finally clear. It seems that New Orleans as been blog fodder for the past week or so and it's always good to get different perspectives. The bottom line... it's one big shit sandwich and we're all gonna have to take a bite.

This week I have a ton of shit to do like laundry, pack, buy Euros, and get a haircut. Yesterday, I finally bought a power adapter for different European countries.

One week from today, I'll be in Amsterdam sitting in a cafe, watching people wander past me, dragging a spliff combined with Afghani hydro andPurple Haze, while joking around with Briana... cant wait.
posted by Pauly at 9/05/2005 01:13:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Happy 50th Waffle House!

My favorite eatery of all time turns 50 today!! Wow. I went to my first Waffle House in 1990 and the worst part about living in New York City... no Waffle House.


posted by Pauly at 9/04/2005 04:20:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Recent Writing Music...
1. John Butler Trio
2. Beck
3. The Flaming Lips
4. The Radiators
5. Phish
posted by Pauly at 9/04/2005 11:17:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Sunday News Roundup

Judge William Rehnquist died yesterday. And all the liberals are wicked scared.

New Orleans left to the dead and dying is a chilling read.

Anne Rice speaks about losing New Orleans in a NY Times piece. Here's a bit:

To my country I want to say this: During this crisis you failed us. You looked down on us; you dismissed our victims; you dismissed us. You want our Jazz Fest, you want our Mardi Gras, you want our cooking and our music. Then when you saw us in real trouble, when you saw a tiny minority preying on the weak among us, you called us "Sin City," and turned your backs.

Even Camille Paglia chimes in and states that "the media is the confederacy of the dunes."

Flushing Out the Ugly Truth is an interesting read from Salon.com. Here's the tagline: "The horror in New Orleans has exposed the nation's dirty secrets of race and poverty. Americans are ready to help. Will our leaders show the way?"

Congrats to my brother Derek for finishing in 33rd place out of 718 players on Friday night. Several poker pros and poker bloggers played in a Hurrican Katrina Charity Relief tournament. Derek put two beats on Celebrity Poker Showdown annoucner Phil Gordon when they sat at the same table. Gordon finished in 31st place. Derek outlasted every pro with the exception of Gordon and outlasted all of the poker bloggers including yours truly. Full Tilt Poker is hosting another tournament tonight at 9:15pm.

San Diego Stripper Stabs Man for Refusing Lap Dance.... is an erotic news blurb about one mother fucking crazy stripper. Reminds me to think twice about rejecting a stripper the next time I'm in a strip club!

More stripper hijinks! Two New Mexico teens get an award for dumbest strip club patrons after they failed to understand the definition of a single lap dance. They sat through 41 consecutive songs each and did not have the money to pay for all of them!
posted by Pauly at 9/04/2005 11:05:00 AM | Permalink |

 
New Orleans Memories and Katrina Relief Tournaments

Sometimes you feel so fuckin' helpless and ashamed. To combat those dreadful feelings that have been lingering around inside my head the last few days as I soak in every desperate bit of footage from New Orleans, I decided to donate 10% of my September bankroll earnings to some organizations that will best help one of the worst disasters in U.S. history. Since I'm not that good of a poker player and I'm already down this month, I'm also donating 90% of my September affiliate revenues to Hurricane Katrina relief as well. In the past, I have donated all of May affiliate revenues towards the blogger get together in Las Vegas. I bought everyone drinks and party favors all weekend long. That was worth every penny I spent, however the money I donate this time will go towards a just cause that will help boost my soiled karma out of the gutter.

There are at least 5 ways you can help out and give aid to Hurricane Katrina victims. Full Tilt is having one special tournament tonight and Poker Stars is having four in the upcoming weeks thanks to Wil. Here are the details:

Where: Full Tilt Poker
When: Friday Sept. 2nd at 9:15pm ET
How Much: $20 + $10

Note: Full Tilt will match your $10 entry fee and that will be donated to the Red Cross' Hurricane Relief Fund.

Where: Poker Stars
When: Monday Sept. 12 at 9:30 ET
How Much: $5

Where: Poker Stars
When: Wednesday Sept. 14 at 9:30 ET
How Much: $20

Where: Poker Stars
When: Thursday Sept. 15 at 9:30 ET
How Much: $50

Where: Poker Stars
When: Friday Sept. 16 at 9:30 ET
How Much: $100

Note: Poker Stars is only adding one cent per player to the prize pool and the remainder of the money collected will go to the American Red Cross. For more information visit Poker Stars blog.

So you have five chances to doing something good. I signed up for the Full Tilt event tonight and I signed up for the first two Poker Stars ones. I will not be able to play in either of the Poker Stars events since I'll be on holiday in Amsterdam. I will be posting and folding, soo feel free to raise my blinds if you are at my table. I'm hoping that I'll be able to play in the one of Sept. 15th or on Sept. 16th. I'll be in Spain by then and if I can get internet access, I'll play.

Moving on...

A lot of my favorite bloggers have been posting New Orleans memories. Unfortunately, my three best New Orleans stories are too incriminating for me to blog. You'll have to sit down and by me a beer to hear one of my many psychedelic Big Easy tales. Seriously, it's better I don't talk about some of the things that went down there. My attorney advised me to issue only this comment which is the same thing I said to the police interrogator: "She told me she was 19 years old."

However...

I spent a lot of time in New Orleans when I was in college. Too much time. Atlanta was Jan compared to New Orleans and Marcia. I attended Mardi Gras every year during college. I also went again in 2000 and it was as wild as ever. I've soaked up Jazz Fest four times too. Some of the best music and some of the biggest episodes of my own personal debauchery occurred on the streets of New Orleans. I'm devastated to think that there might never be another Mardi Gras or Jazzfest, at least not any time soon.

I saw one of my favorite bands, Galactic (a local New Orleans groove/funk band), play one of the best live shows I've ever seen in my life at Tipitina's in December of 2000. It definitely makes my top 10 list of greatest concerts that I've ever attended. Daddy can attest to how powerful a band like Galactic can be on any given night. I've seen them play all over the country and you know what? They bring New Orleans right to you, whether it was in New York City or Vail, Colorado, their shows are like a N'arlins party. Plus Tipitina's is a historical place for music. It's like Yankee Stadium or Lambeau Field.

I've seen almost every one of my favorite bands (with the exception of the Grateful Dead) in New Orleans. I've seen The Allman Brothers Band, Phish, Galactic, Widespread Panic, Garage-a-Trois, Oysterhead, Medeski Martin & Wood, String Cheese, Karl Denson, Charlie Hunter, Soulive, Rebirth, Ani DiFranco, Phil Lesh and Friends, the Funky Meters, the Radiators, and Santana. I even saw James Taylor put on a horrible show at Jazzfest one year.

Here's what some New Orleans musicians had to say about the hurricane, including a few words from the bass player from Galactic.

Flashback time.

The first time I was in New Orleans, I was an 18 year old frat boy. I showed up with $98, a Hawaiian shirt, and three condoms. I also wore my oldest pair of jeans that were ripped to shreds and an old pair of sneakers. Doolan, who was a Senior in my fraternity and veteran Mardi Gras attendee suggested that I bring clothes that I'm going to leave behind. He was right. I left three days later with just three dollars in loose change, no socks, with a ring of beads around my sore neck that a Haitian lady gave me for sucking on her left nipple while her boyfriend watched and took pictures, and sadly I only used up one of the condoms during an unimpressive two and a half minutes in a romp in an alley on Chartes Street with a really, really, really intoxicated girl from my college.

Man that was fourteen years ago. Right now there's a soccer Mom living in Georgia thinking, "I can't believe that fucker Dr. Pauly blogged about that! And it was more like thirty seconds, y'all. That was the worst sympathy fuck of my life."

At least I got off.

I have so many stories about New Orleans that I don't know where to begin. I guess I'll save those for another time. But for now all joking aside, there are a lot of people suffering in New Orleans and in the surrounding areas. Here's an opportunity for you to do some decent with your bankroll.

I encourage everyone to do something to helpout.

****** ******

Here's a link to the Wall Street Journal's live NOLA blog.
posted by Pauly at 9/02/2005 01:59:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Wicked Chops Blogfiles: Tao of Poker

Chops over at Wicked Chops Poker recently posted an interview with me called Blogfiles: Tao of Poker. It's a Q&A session and it turned out pretty good. Here are some sample questions:

WCP: You've traveled across the country playing in other people's home games. What are some of your best stories from the road?

WCP: Were you ever even a little tempted though to "make friends" with one of those hookers at the motel?

WCP: Finally, you pull up a seat at a live 6-person SNG. Who would you fill out the remaining seats with (can be living, dead, or fictitious)?

Wanna know my answers? Then check out... Blogfiles: Tao of Poker

Moving on...

I got several comments from readers and emails from Maudie and Gracie. They all saw me on Tuesday's episodes of the WSOP! In the Cyndy Violette/Erik Seidel event, I was spotted towards the end. I happened to see plenty of shots of Flipchip even one where you could see him in the background taking photos! I also spotted Amy Calistri and me talking at one point. Damn, that really made me miss the trenches at the Rio! I also got to catch glimpses of Heather from Poker Wire, BJ from Card Player, Jay Greenspan, and even John from Poker News... all in the background.

I guess I'll be buying the 2005 WSOP DVD as soon as it comes out!
posted by Pauly at 9/01/2005 10:13:00 AM | Permalink |