My bladder was about
To burst all over my pants,
And trickle three day old urine
Onto her father's rare bearskin
Rug, that he bought off of
E-bay for $4,500, not including
Taxes and shipping costs.
I bravely stood, and crossed my
Withered legs, as I winced in mortal pain.
My obscene thoughts drifted back
And forth across the highway median
Dodging erratic college kids
Quickly driving to Spring Break
On South Padre Island, where
The mellow days are long, and the
Sassy nights are longer...
So I'm told,
By a bitter junkie named Fried Peanuts,
The blind ex-veteran, harmonica player,
Who lived next door to my babysitter.