Man It's Fucking Cold
My ears are colder than ice cubes. My bellybutton is frozen for fucks sake. The walk from the subway was pure hell. I imagined that the current skin scathing, harsh cold blast is what climbers on Mount Everest must endure every second up on the Mountain. I've come to the conclusion that they are crazy motherfuckers.
I heard Al Gore was at the Beacon Theatre tonight talking smack about global warning. Today was the coldest day in NYC in decades and poor Al "Stiffy" Gore got outstaged again. This time by Old Man Winter. This friggin' guy can't ctach a break. He's the dorky guy who takes the "object of his affection", the sultry, girl-next-door to the prom, but she ditches poor Al, gets drunk with the football team, then goes home with the cool guy and blows him in his pick-up truck on their way to the Dairy Queen. Stiffy Gore couldn't hit water even if he fell out of a boat. I don't think the guy could get laid in a whorehouse. That's why he really lost to Bush. Bill Clinton on the other hand, we all know that good old Bubba himself was one slick dude who's had his rocks knocked a few times by various ladies of the night. "Just like slipping your fingers in a bowling ball..." he'd gently whisper in his confident Arkansas drawl...
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