Ramblings from a writer, traveler, and insomniac

 

January 2004 Truckin' (Vol. 3, Issue 1)

A new year, a new issue, and a new writer! Richard Bulkeley, a fellow poker blogger from New Zealand joins the staff this month with a nice air travel piece. Henry Wasserman returns with the second installment of his novel The Escape Artist. And our favorite Norwegian blogger, Sigge, recants the time he was mugged in Cuba. And I wrote three stories for this issue, one about Miami, one about traveling in 2003 and the last one is a short story that I hope you like. So sit back, relax, and enjoy! Thanks for your support, McG!

1. Miami Stories: Before We Begin... by Tenzin McGrupp

With everyone’s attention span as short as Britney Spear’s first marriage, I’ll have to bring the stories hard and fast and perhaps you’ll catch a whiff of the ocean, or feel the warm sun smiling on you, or hear some of the melodious sounds of funky Phish, and maybe you’ll start to understand why Miami was one of the greatest trips that I have ever taken... More

2. I Got Mugged… Twice! Another Cuba Story by Sigge S. Amdal

Drunk and pretty stupid, I agreed and followed them around the corner. That's when I felt a strong arm around my neck, and this younger guy, probably in his late teens, went through my pockets.... More

3. 25 by Tenzin McGrupp

I walked the streets of twenty-five cities in the last year. Some were dirty. Others were clean. Some were crowded. Others were silent. But the people were the same... More

4. The Escape Artist: Novel Excerpt #2 by Henry Wasserman

He felt a tinge of fear when he heard the surprise in her voice. He remembered the first time he’d gotten hurt, seeing the eyes of his high school trainer after he’d heard something in his knee pop. But John felt confident in his self diagnosis - he hadn’t been wrong in years... More

5. Mile High Fate by Richard Bulkeley

I have spent a wonderfully depressing length of my life in airplanes. It is wonderful, because I am usually going somewhere exciting. It is depressing because, well because it is air travel... More

6. Never Trust a Naked Guy Juggling Three Cantaloupes by Tenzin McGrupp

With her lanky fingers drenched in top shelf vodka, she unsympathetically popped both olives deep into her gaping mouth. She sensuously and slowly licked both fingers, and almost fell off her bar stool when she caught me staring at her... More

posted by Pauly at 1/31/2004 12:00:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Poker Gone WILD!

Check out this good read: Poker Gone Wild from the Sacramento Bee. Here's a bit:

Steve Lipscomb remembers the reactions of TV executives when he first pitched the idea of a globe-trotting, prime-time show devoted to poker. "They laughed me out of their offices," recalled the man who invented the World Poker Tour. Look who's laughing now.

Poker is television's hot new game, with network executives scrambling for a piece of the pot. On Sunday, NBC will put poker up against the Super Bowl's pre-game hoopla. ESPN continues to cash in on the World Series of Poker and instant celebrities such as champion Chris Moneymaker. Fox Sports plans a Saturday Night Poker League, hoping to make it the next 'Monday Night Football'..."

The last bit about a Saturday Night Poker is very interesting. Wow, the SPL would be as popular as MNF in America and Friday Night hockey night in Canada!
posted by Pauly at 1/31/2004 11:55:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Phish Rumors

I've been smelling more Phish rumors in the last few days. Check out: Phantasy Tour Rumors. Man, the Vegas shows in April are making me go crazy!! Phish + Vegas + Pauly = Sheer Madness! Rest assured, I will be in Las vegas sometime in April for poker and Phish.
posted by Pauly at 1/31/2004 11:21:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Drugs & Hooker Edition of News Roundup: Drunk Dogs, Fake Cops Getting Freebies, Bank Robbing Call Girls, and Boston Bookies Hurting

1. Prostitute just along for the ride as Boy Scout turned bank robber... is a hilarious read by Noelle Crombie. Now, file this story under: I wanna party with that guy! I love the opening line to the story. It has to be one of the best opening lines I ever read!!! Here it is:

"Stephen William Bell began his day with a crack pipe and a prostitute."

2. Phony Vice Cop Jailed... only in London! This guy was pretneding to be a cop, so he could shake down hookers for free blowjobs and cash! And here's a bit:

"A man arrested at the funeral of Diana, Princess of Wales for posing as a police officer was jailed for four-and-a-half years today for using the same trick to con prostitutes into bed..."

3. Boston bookies sacked by Pats is an article from the Boston Globe. Here's a bit:

"While Patriots fever has gripped the region, bookies still reeling from the 2001 Super Bowl win and this year's 14-game win streak are praying for a Pats loss Sunday to prevent financial ruin..."

4. Drunken dog sleeps it off in animal shelter; master charged with public intoxication is a story that you will only find in Tennesse! Oh my. Here's a sample:

"A pooch and his owner apparently had too much to drink Friday night and both ended up in the slammer. The dog, a cocker spaniel, was "wobbly and his eyes were bloodshot red," said Derrick Avery, supervisor of the Dyersburg-Dyer County Humane Society's animal shelter. It was a first for the folks at the animal shelter. Avery said the shelter hasn't ever been asked to pick up a drunken dog..."

posted by Pauly at 1/31/2004 11:01:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Immovable Objects 1, Pauly 0

Yes, it's true. I lost another fight. This time with a door. I woke up today very sore on my entire right side. I have scrapped knuckles, a gash in my foot, a fat lip, and my entire right shoulder is killing me! Alas, I learned my lesson and will not try to attack any doors anytime soon!
posted by Pauly at 1/31/2004 10:56:00 AM | Permalink |

 
KBB in NYC Tonight!

Yes! The Kwait Brother's Band will be performing tonight in NYC at the Lion's Den in the Village at 10pm!! They are the best band you can see for under $10!! I'll be there. Will you?
posted by Pauly at 1/31/2004 10:54:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Britney's Nipples Take Night Off

It's on the web, so it must be true. Britney Spears' Nipples Take the Night Off is a must read.

Here's a bit: "They were tired," the 22-year old actress and sometimes singer said. "Besides, everyone is always watching them, asking for photographs of them, and trying to lick them. The poor little things never get any rest."
posted by Pauly at 1/30/2004 05:05:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Clone Poll!

So far I'm slightly ahead of Elvis! Visit: Sigge's Weekly Poll: Who should we clone? and vote for your favorite blogger!
posted by Pauly at 1/30/2004 12:09:00 PM | Permalink |

 

Reader Mail

It's that time of the week, when I dig into my inbox and share some of my e-mails...

1. Re: Charna Time!

Charna sent me this: "Tonight I'm guest bartending somewhere new! It's called Second Nature. Please please please come, tell anyone/everyone in order for it to be more of a regular occurrence. (This will be my first time bartending there.) It's definitely a cool place, I was there a few weekends ago myself. There are a few parties going on as well that evening, so it will be a great crowd-plus I'm making the drinks, what more could you ask for after a Friday of work, and a week of snow... Here's the skinny....

Second Nature, Friday, January 30th, 6pm-9pm, 221 Second Ave (between 13th & 14th Sts.), 212.254.2222

Hope to see everyone there! - Charna"

Dear Charna, Sounds like a great night. I'll see you there. Looks like a perfect place for a pre-party! See ya, McG


2. Re: Tao of Poker Popularity...

Jerry wrote: "You are like...famous! How do you cash in on this? Maybe you should write a poker novel - from the "average" poker players view. A guy without a huge bankroll, making ends meet, but picking up on this poker vibe that seems to suit you... traveling to smaller venues to play poker (The Sook, Hollywood, etc.), waiting for 2 hours to get on a table, the run ins... I would read it!"

Dear Jerry, I would love to sign a book deal on my poker playing antics! Of course I'd blow my entire advance on a trip to Vegas! Hooooo!


3. Re: Cloning Pauly

Molly said: "I would totally clone you. Then I could get Pauly hugs and have you teach me how to play poker whenever I wanted!"

Dear Molly, Awwwwwwww! That was the cutest e-mail I got this year! I would clone myself and send a clone to Vegas, and another to Hollyweird, and another to Europe... you get the idea! Thanks for voting... See ya, McG


4. Re: Phishy Tour Rumors

Neil from Bathtub Gin wrote: "Any good tour rumors up there? A 3 night run in Vegas would be fun, but I really want them to hold off on a tour till this summer..."

What's up Neil! I hope that Phish does a mini Spring tour out West and a regular summer tour. I'm itching to go back to Vegas and I haven't seen a Texas Phish show since 1999! Talk soon, McG
posted by Pauly at 1/30/2004 01:29:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Last 5 Flicks I Saw...

1. Dead Man
2. The Quiet American
3. American Wedding
4. Kurt & Courtney
5. Wake Up and Smell the Coffee
posted by Pauly at 1/30/2004 01:23:00 AM | Permalink |

 
News Update: Kids on Coke, Yoda Stolen, MikeHuntSoft Sued, Cop Jerkoff Videos, and No More Bongs in Lincoln...

1. Preschoolers Tests Positive for Cocaine... file this one under... I wanna part with that girl!

Here's a bit: "A test showed the drug in the urine of the preschooler after her teacher became suspicious when she saw the girl and her Head Start classmates playing with small balloons, police said. The children behaved strangely when asked who brought the balloons to class..."

The last part made me laugh... "the children behaved strangely"... I mean, how did you expect them to act? They were jacked up on Charlie!

2. Lincoln Cracks Down on Head Shops... here's my favorite part: "Law enforcement and prosecutors make no apologies for their tough stance and said this is the right action. 'Let's be realistic about this... when have you ever seen anyone smoking tobacco in a hash pipe or a bong?'

3. MikeHuntSoft.com Domain Name Sued by Porn Company... it's funny because it's true! The software company owner, Mike Hunt, was quoted: "I’m not giving up my domain without a fight... I have enough troubles with my name as it is and I don’t think anybody is going to confuse what’s on my site with what’s on theirs.”

4. Steals Statue of Yoda Someone Does... are they kidding me? The list of suspects grows by the minute.

5. California Cop Wrongly Fired for Selling Masturbation Video on e-Bay... here's a tad: "A San Diego policeman who sold videos of himself masturbating after removing a police uniform was wrongly dismissed from the force, a U.S. appeals court has ruled..."
posted by Pauly at 1/30/2004 01:22:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Lotto Winnings = Kick Ass Headstone (with a Royal Flush!)

File this story under... I wanna party with this guy!! Check out: Man to use some Lotto winnings to buy racy headstone.

Here's a bit: "Phil Lee... said his headstone will read, "Been there, done that" and show... a champagne glass, a royal flush, a slot machine, a nude woman facing backwards and a stick of dynamite with a lit fuse."

What I want to know is... is the naked woman sitting on on the dynamite?
posted by Pauly at 1/30/2004 12:03:00 AM | Permalink |

 
"After five days in Vegas you feel like you've been here for five years." - Hunter S. Thompson
posted by Pauly at 1/29/2004 05:54:00 PM | Permalink |

 
World Poker Tour: Hollyweird Home Game

I blogged my reactions to last night's episode to the Tao of Poker.

The Players:
Alisha Tyler (The chick from Talk Soup)
Fred Savage (the kid from The Wonder Years)
Jack "Tenacious D" Black
Steve Harris (The Practice)
Drew Carey
Mimi "Mrs. Tom Cruise I" Rogers (yes, before there was a Nic, there was a Mimi)

Here's a bit of my write-up: "I settled in an watched the first two hands... and poor "Kevin Arnold" got smoked by Aisha. I had not seen him get his ass kicked like that since season two of The Wonder Years, when the local bully, Eddie Pinetti, sought out the innocent Kevin and his gangly, four-eyed sidekick Paul Pfeiffer in the locker room, beat them both down like Russian dissidents, and then stole all of their lunch money. Alas, flash forward to the game... and he tried to bluff at the first pot and failed miserably! Only to find more pain on the very next hand, when Aisha bluffed him and induced him to lay down a better hand..."
posted by Pauly at 1/29/2004 04:31:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Last 5 Books I Saw People Reading on the Subway...

1. The Holy Bible
2. Cien Anos de Soledad by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
3. Sunset Limited by James Lee Burke
4. Interpreter of Maladies by Jhumpa Lahiri
5. Jemima J : A Novel About Ugly Ducklings and Swans by Jane Green
posted by Pauly at 1/29/2004 10:04:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Oscar Nudity!

Want to get an Oscar nomination? Well... just get naked! That's a hint for you Haley... in your next audition show a little skin! And seek out naked roles and you'll most likely get Oscar Buzz! Visit: Oscar Nudity for more information.

Here's what they say: "These are the female performances in 2003 which met both of the following criteria... (1) It was nominated for an academy award for best actress or best supporting actress.... (2) It included nudity..."
posted by Pauly at 1/29/2004 09:59:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Bush Promising More Money to the Arts!?!

WOW! Maybe I'll vote for Bush afterall... if he seriously increases the funding to a severely under-funded NEA. Or is he just trying to get the hippie-art-freak vote? Check out: Bush Is Said to Seek More Money for Arts written by Robert Pear from The New York Times.

Here's a bit: " President Bush will seek a big increase in the budget of the National Endowment for the Arts, the largest single source of support for the arts in the United States, administration officials said on Wednesday. The proposal is part of a turnaround for the agency, which was once fighting for its life, attacked by some Republicans as a threat to the nation's moral standards. Laura Bush plans to announce the request on Thursday, in remarks intended to show the administration's commitment to the arts, aides said. Administration officials, including White House budget experts, said that Mr. Bush would propose an increase of $15 million to $20 million for the coming fiscal year, which begins Oct. 1. That would be the largest rise in two decades and far more than the most recent increases, about $500,000 for 2003 and $5 million for this year. The agency has a budget of $121 million this year, 31 percent lower than its peak of $176 million in 1992..."

posted by Pauly at 1/29/2004 09:58:00 AM | Permalink |

 
News Roundup: Hidden Drugs, Hookers, Police Beatings, Odd Naked Guys, and Garfunkel Busted...

1. Prostitution Ring-leader Jailed for Placing Ad... only in L.A.! Here's a bit: "The leader of a prostitution ring that ran a two-page advertisement in the phone book was sentenced to nine years in prison. Rimma Fetissova, 43, also was ordered Tuesday to pay a $250,000 fine on her convictions in November of money laundering, pimping and pandering..."

2. Standoff at Hospital: Cops and Woman with Coke in Her Crack... only in San Fran, right? Here's a bit: "San Francisco has had some touchy police standoffs -- but nothing quite like the 10-hour showdown that came to a head in the San Francisco General emergency room between cops, doctors and a female drug suspect who refused to surrender several rocks of crack cocaine she was concealing in her very private parts... as they moved in to arrest her, the woman reached into her pants and a batch of suspected cocaine disappeared... the officer reported seeing "a shiny piece of plastic slightly protruding'' from between the suspect's legs -- but before the evidence could be seized, the woman pushed it out of sight and refused to cooperate any further..."

3. Judge Orders Man to Keep Clothes On... Outside! Man, I can't make this stuff up... here's what this article read: "A man who neighbors said regularly worked outside without clothes on has been charged with a prohibited act. Patrick Meunier... was released and ordered to remain fully clothed while outside. At least four neighbors in Grenier's trailer park in Derby, including a young girl, said he worked and walked around without pants and underwear on last fall, last summer and in the summer of 2002... State police... said neighbors accused Meunier of masturbating outdoors in full sight of them..."

4. Two Vancouver Cops Fired Over Beatings... here's a bit, eh: "Two Vancouver police officers who were sentenced to house arrest for roughing up suspected drug dealers have been fired from the force. Four others have been suspended..."

5. Art Garfunkel in Marijuana Bust... Feeling groovy now? Here's a smaple: "Art Garfunkel, part of the folk music duo Simon and Garfunkel, was charged with having marijuana after police pulled over his limousine for speeding in upstate New York. Garfunkel, 62, of Manhattan, was caught with a small amount of marijuana in his jacket pocket and was charged with possession of marijuana..."
posted by Pauly at 1/29/2004 03:12:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Mr. Brady Goes to Washington... Hunter Sounds Off on GOP Boy!

Mr. Brady goes to Washington is written by Hunter S. Thompson where he tools on Patriots QB Tom Brady for being a political whore.

Here's a bit: "The worst thing that can happen to a gambler... picking up one of these educated rumors that the favored team's quarterback hasn't slept in four nights because of massive pressure(s) being put on him by political candidates in a cruel presidential year. That is the fate of young Tom Brady, who was happily on his way to his second Super Bowl in three years when he suddenly got ambushed and dangerously distracted by both John Kerry and (Pres.) George W. Bush, who lured Brady into the most treacherous side of politics. In the language of celebrity politics, they used him like they have used so many others -- as a pawn in their bloodthirsty game. That is what happened to me, and it caused me to hedge at least a few of my many complicated bets on the outcome of Sunday's gigantic game. When I first got wind of Tom Brady's lack of sleep and possible loss of focus when he takes the field, a wave of bad queasiness rolled over me..."

And who will the Good Doctor be picking this Sunday?

"...I started taking the Panthers plus-seven (7) last night and today. I still believe New England will win by at least three or four, simply by shutting down Stephen Davis and beating up Delhomme's receivers. The game will be a classic "defensive struggle," probably decided by field-goal kickers and pass-rushers."
posted by Pauly at 1/28/2004 10:02:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Stocks Dip... Fed Patience Causes Price Plunge!

Fed Holds Interest Rate at 1 Percent... and here's a bit: "The Federal Reserve left a key short-term interest rate at a 45-year low on Wednesday but dropped a promise it had been making since August to keep rates low "for a considerable period."

The wording change was enough to jolt financial markets, sending stock prices plunging, even though private economists said they believed the Fed still planned on keeping rates unchanged for most of this year. The Dow Jones industrial average, which had been in positive territory before the Fed's afternoon announcement, lost more than 100 points in late afternoon trading. Bond prices dropped as well, sending interest rates set by the market sharply higher..."
posted by Pauly at 1/28/2004 09:56:00 PM | Permalink |

 
The Dwindling L.A. Literacy Rate...

HDouble gave me a nice metioning on his blog: The Cards Speak.

Here's what he said: "I can barely keep up with Pauly, who posted his Foxwoods trip report. It took him 4.5 hours to get in a 2-4 game! I get mad if the wait is longer than 10 minutes in LA. Pauly knows a sucker when he sees one:

"Although I dropped $50 at Foxwoods, I made all my money back when I took some of Haley's friends for $200 betting on various Golden Globe categories (Bill Murray's win was clutch!)"

Pauly emailed me to let me know he may be in LA sometime in the future... I hope I don't have to watch his back when he starts a rumble in the $2-4 game after dropping the Hammer. I really miss the East Coast (but not Foxwoods), even if it's freezing over there... Yesterday I saw in the log files that 55% of my readers are coming in from the East Coast... confirming my suspicions about the literacy rate in LA..."

The line about the LA literacy rate made me fall down I was laughing so hard! And I love being "quoted" on other people's blogs! Keep up the great posts. HDouble is an exceptional poker player and he writes about poker theory on his site. I'll be posting the second excerpt to his novel in the next issue of Truckin'.
posted by Pauly at 1/28/2004 11:43:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Tao of Poker: Writeup!

Tao of Poker was recently mentioned in an article by Iggy from Guinness & Poker. Thanks to Iggy for the shout out. He's the Godfather of all poker bloggers!!

Here's a bit: "Tao of Poker: NYC blogger and resident Phish-head Pauly is a blogger extraordinaire and his poker blog is just one small extension of his impresive body of online output. Pauly enjoys traveling around the country, chasing Phish, and playing hold'em at the nearest casino, and he writes engrossing trip reports about both experiences."
posted by Pauly at 1/28/2004 11:33:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Wednesday's Politico Roundup: Kerry Wins New Hampshire!

Kerry: 39%
Dean: 26%
Clark: 13%
Edwards: 12%
Lieberman: 9%

Well the people of New Hampshire have spoken and depending on who you listened to (that is, which spin doctors that you have been listening to...) everyone has opinions on who was the real winner. It's obvious that John Kerry won with a sizeable lead. But the Howard Dean camp is saying that they scored a moral victory coming in second place after last Monday's howling incident (they were down more than 20 points in the polls). The John Edwards supporters are saying, "Just wait til we hit the South!" And of course General Clark's camp is hoping that the Michael Moore endorsement will carry more weight on a national scale. And I dunno what the Lieberman camp is spinning... poor guy looked like a deer caught in the headlights last night. He went from being the Number #2 on the ticket four years ago to a serious afterthought! Kinda like that belch that bubbles up an hour after your meal. He's still shocked over Al Gore's endorsement of Dean.

Alas, the race was narrowed to two: Kerry & Dean. And the rest of the bunch: Edwards & Clark are not looking too good as the primaries switch to a national stage. Next Tuesday, there will be seven states to cover (South Carolina, Arizona, New Mexico, Missouri, Oklahoma, Delaware and North Dakota). The pundits are calling this a: TV and tarmac campaign... where the guys fly into states and small towns, hop off the airplane, smile for the cameras and give a quick sound bite for the random supporters that showed up... then it's back on the plane and off to another small town with a nice pocket of support to talk to, hands to shake, and more babies to kiss.

But the race is not over. With Kerry the obvious front runner, he'll be fielding attacks from all sides in the next week. Will he be able to handle himself? Will Edwards' southern twang steal some votes? Or will Kerry blow a huge lead and let Howard Dean slip in there. The bottom line is this: Howard Dean's campaign has better organization and has more funds. They are not going anywhere! However, with Kerry's win in New Hampshire, he should be getting more money, which he desperately needs. I read somewhere that Dean only spent 15% of his TV money on ads in New Hampshire, while Kerry spent 50% of his TV budget!! Alas, Dean's grassroots campaign via the web is more organized and more geek-saavy than Kerry's. Whoever raises more money this upcoming week will be primed to win Super Tuesday later in February.

I am not suprised that Kerry won New Hampshire, a state where the population is 95% white, because it's one of the most conservative states in the union. The obvious choice would be to pick the most conservative candidate and Kerry fit that mold. Dean is too far left for some of those folks and Kerry seemed so moderate. But now we're on the national stage, Dean will be getting more of those fringe votes... the voters who went for Ralph Nader and the Green Party and those who are just anti-Bush. And Edwards and Kerry will battle it out for the middle of the road votes... those Reagan Democrats (historically Democrats that voted for Reagan in 1980 and voted for Bush in 1988) that are essential to winning any Presidental campaign. Who will those NASCAR dads pick? Who will the younger votes float towards? Who will small businessmen support? If I knew those answers, I'd be predicting a winner for next week! Stay tuned.

Required Reading...

1. Big Test in the South is written by Adam Nagourney and appears in the NY Times.

Here's a bit: "The campaign now turns into what is in effect a national primary next Tuesday, with contests in seven states stretching from South Carolina to New Mexico. Aides to Mr. Edwards, Mr. Clark and Mr. Lieberman said they believed that this was fertile territory for their relatively moderate appeal and vowed to offer Mr. Kerry a tough fight in the days ahead. Dr. Dean, taking a page from presidential candidates from Eugene McCarthy to Bill Clinton, tried to portray his second-place showing as a win, noting that it had come just eight days after his third-place finish in Iowa."

2. The End of the World is written by Fred Barnes from The Weekly Standard.

Here's a bit: "In truth, it winnowed the Democratic field to one, John Kerry, with a second candidate, Howard Dean, barely hanging on. But three others -- Wesley Clark, John Edwards, and Joe Lieberman -- insist they'll compete in at least the seven primaries on February 3. Somebody please tell them their candidacies are over. If history prevails (and it often does), Kerry will be the Democratic nominee. Every candidate, Republican or Democrat, who has won both the Iowa caucuses and New Hampshire primary has gone on to capture the nomination. Sure, Kerry is capable of screwing up so badly that he defies history, but it's not likely..."

3. Those With Endorsements May Lose by Winning is written by Jim Rutenberg from The New York Times.

Here's a bit: "It was but one weird moment in what political experts call one odd endorsement season. In states like Iowa and New Hampshire that decide on convention delegates early, the endorsements have gone well beyond the litany of newspapers, unions and politicians to include singers, filmmakers and movie stars. Whether the entertainers' support will prove more beneficial than traditional endorsements remains an open question..."

4. Clark Run Still Clouded is from The Village Voice and written by Sydney H. Schanberg, where she asks: "Why Didn't He Warn Us About War in Iraq?"

5. Dean's Camp Stiffs Iowa Deli with Tab... here's a bit: "deliveries are a little different, especially one back on the 16th of this month. That was a big order for this small business of four employees. 200 brown bag specials...with turkey, roast beef, ham and veggie sandwiches. The total...$963.01."

6. Liberal Is a Dirty Word for Geroge Carlin is an interview with one of my favorite comedians.

Here's a bit: "First of all, I'm not liberal. I'm just about (being) anti-United States. I don't like the way this country operates. I think we've ruined this place. And I think it's largely because of businessmen. And businessmen are not liberals. So if that makes me a liberal, then that's just an association. It's not a choice...."
posted by Pauly at 1/28/2004 10:51:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Moving the Mountain

Touching the Void is an article written by Brian Miller and appears in The Seattle Weekly. Touching the Void is a new film about... "an adaptation of Joe Simpson's award-winning 1988 account of a Peruvian climbing expedition that went very, very badly. Everyone who climbs has read it -- Void is considered a classic among mountaineering literature. The movie is a different matter. Simpson and his partner, Simon Yates, both appear in the film, speaking separately before the unblinking lens in the manner of an Errol Morris documentary. This footage is great: two different, prickly personalities frankly discussing a near-fatal calamity that changed both their lives..."
posted by Pauly at 1/28/2004 10:15:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Sigge's Poll: Cloning Pauly?

Sigge's Weekly Poll asks: Who should be cloned? If you look carefully, I am one of the eight choices (behind Letterman, Tupac, and Elvis!)... so vote today! Would you really clone me?
posted by Pauly at 1/28/2004 01:55:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Swedes Have More Animal Sex

Strange but true. Swedes have more and more animal sex was an article that I thought was a joke, but it appears to be legit. Here's what they say: "Animal sex is not illegal in Sweden, and every year between 200 and 300 pets are injured because of sexual assaults..."

posted by Pauly at 1/28/2004 01:36:00 AM | Permalink |

 
New Links Added

I added several new links to the left side of the Tao of Pauly. The most significant new additions were links to political blogs. I also started a new section called: Flogs where I linked up various photo logs.
posted by Pauly at 1/28/2004 01:31:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Classic Stoner Moves!

I got three funny marijuana related tales... gotta love those wacky potheads!

1. Dumb Tourist Calls Cops to Report Stolen Weed! I can't make this stuff up! Tourist Calls Police To Report That His Pricey Marijuana Was Stolen... only in Key West!

Here's a bit: "A New York tourist called police to report that several items were stolen from his hotel room, including some high quality Bahamian marijuana. Jim Devlin, 33, of East Meadow, N.Y., filed the report early Monday morning, according to Key West police. He was not charged because no marijuana was found... Devlin, who told police he's an investment banker, also claimed $50 and a watch were also stolen. He declined to tell police the amount or worth of the allegedly missing marijuana. 'I only want to report the watch, not the money or the weed, because I don't want to tell you how much weed there was...'"

2. Man proves to cops he's not drunk... pulls out stash! Only in Canada, eh? Newfoundland man pulls out marijuana during police traffic stop.

Here's a bit: "The 51-year-old driver insisted he had not been drinking due to medications he was taking. As apparent proof, the driver pulled out two pill cases from his jacket pocket. Unfortunately for him, one of the pill cases contained four grams of marijuana..."

3. Tokin' up in England! Light up or leave me alone... Looking for a place to light up legally in London is written by Amelia Hill.

Here's a bit: "Rolling up a joint in the toilet of St Paul's Cathedral isn't my usual Friday morning habit but it seemed as good a place as any to start testing the confusion over the Government's new cannabis laws..."

posted by Pauly at 1/28/2004 01:22:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Break Dancin' at the Vatican

Wilkins sent me this link: Breakin' 3 - Boogaloo at the Vatican.
posted by Pauly at 1/27/2004 11:21:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Oscar Nominations...

Looks like The Return of the King has a shot at several awards after getting 11 nominations. Check out the complete list of Oscar Nominations.

What are the odds? Intertop.com released their Oscar Odds and it looks like The Return of the King is a heavy favorite.
posted by Pauly at 1/27/2004 11:16:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Pauly Hired! I Got a Job!

Alvia over at iglobalmedia.com just hired me to help promote Party Poker and various other gaming sites that her company runs and operates. You might recall that I blogged parts of her email to last Friday's version of Reader Mail. We had a phone interview after several e-mail conversations. Alvia called me from India this morning to discuss our new business relationship! I'll be working on a strict commission basis and I will be getting an "affiliate account" on Party Poker! I won't specifically say how much money I'm getting per new player that I bring in... but let's just say that there is a definite possibility that I could make more money signing up players on Party Poker in one week than I could slingling beers at the local tavern for an entire month!! With the Tao of Poker gaining more popularity everyday and the increased web traffic... Alvia figured a joint venture with iglobalmedia.com and the Tao of Poker would be a lucrative match!

I don't mind aggressively promoting something that I use and believe in! Yes, Party Poker had almost 40,000 players online the other night. And I expect that number to keep on rising. More details to come!!

Sign up today! Visit this link: Party Poker Sign-up & Download and make sure you mention the signup bonus code: TAO4 to get a $25 bonus!!
posted by Pauly at 1/27/2004 09:56:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Snow and the Oscars!

More snow expected to fall in NYC... another 10 inches? Geez. Southern California is sounding so perfect these days. You don't have to worry about slipping on an icy sidewalk in L.A., right?

The important people in Hollyweird are supposed to announce the Oscar nominations in a few minutes. Haley is super excited. She shrugged off her nasty hangover from yesterday and got up early to watch the announcements. The poor girl spent most of Monday morning clutching the porcelain god after drinking her body weight in champagne at her Golden Globes party. She's slowly recovering and vows to drink less at her Oscar's party.
posted by Pauly at 1/27/2004 08:20:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Battleground New Hampshire

Today is a crucial day in the early stages of the primaries. The media has almost appointed Kerry as the winner... but I have a feeling that the race will be a lot closer. Kerry will most likely win, but it will be close. I expect Dean to close the gap and Edwards to trail slightly behind them all.
posted by Pauly at 1/27/2004 06:48:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Mr. Dickhead... More Popular Than Ever!

I just got an e-mail from Fotolog.net the people who host Mr. Dickhead. They tell me how many hits he's gotten since I started the site (in late October).

Here's what they said: Your Fotolog has been viewed 419 times.

Last week the count was 305. Mr. Dickhead got 114 hits last week!
posted by Pauly at 1/27/2004 12:23:00 AM | Permalink |

 
I'm Back... After 48 Hours of Mayhem: Poker and the Golden Globes

Went up to Foxwoods Saturday night with Derek and returned slightly disappointed after one of my worst experiences there since I started playing poker regularly at that casino. I'll blog more specifics to the Tao of Poker on Tuesday. What was wrong? Foxwoods was a headache. It was the most crowded (the poker room) that I've ever seen. There were no less than 250-300 people waiting for a low limit game!!! Then at 6am, a little over 700 people showed up for a 200 person No Limit tournament on Sunday morning... and although I got a psuedo-ticket for Seat 197 (Derek got 198)... we were shut out due to a floor managers error. He had to squeeze 20 more people onto 20 tournament tables after they complained to the tribal gaming commission about the serious fuck-up. I got bumped! Ahhh, I was wicked pissed that I did not get to play in the tournament! I'll be writing a complaint letter very soon. So anyway, it took 4.5 hours for my $2-4 game to be called!!! Yes, I had to wait until 4am for an open seat to play! Techincally... But I kinda bucked the system and found a loophole. I actually pulled a slick move and hopped on a $4-8 table when someone's name was called and they did not answer (because they obviously got tired of waiting and went home). I could not wait three more hours to jump on a table. Derek made a similar move earlier and got onto a $2-4 table after he lost patience waiting around for ninety minutes to play.

Some odd & random Foxwoods notes: I'm great at $4-8 ($30 hourly win rate) and I got my ass handed to me at the $2-4 tables. I was up $160 the first hour that I got to a $4-8 table. Then I lost a lot of close hands.... I almost got into another fight when some old black guy accussed me of cheating (colluding with another player who kept raising my reraises - the guy had nothing and I had a full house 7s over 10s) after I took down a huge $140 pot (on a $2-4 table)... luckily my brother was at the same table and he took control of the situation and yelled at the old guy telling him and everyone within earshot who I was, how I was his brother and I never met the guy whom the black guy accussed me of being cheating partners with.... Derek seriously prevented me from kicking that guy's ass in the parking lot and getting black booked at Foxwoods... visit the Tao of Poker for the full detailed story.

Of course after hanging out with Skippy on Saturday, and then playing poker all night, I drove back to the city Sunday afternoon and went to a party on Sunday night!

Yep, it was Haley's GOLDEN GLOBES party last night! Just when I forget Haley is from L.A., there's this yearly reminder... a night when everyone gets dressed up, drinks too much, and shouts insults at the TV! I showed up looking like a mess. I stumbled in her place only to find a guy from her acting class wearing a tuxedo, sipping champagne, and chomping on a small plate of Surinamese curry potatoes in her hallway! What a scene I wandered into... Haley had been drinking since 3pm and forty actors and actresses squeezed into her apartment, dressed up like they were attending the ceremony... with plenty of designer lables, name dropping, and lots of booze flowing. Alas, I had been awake for 36 hours when I showed up... seriously undressed and found myself in room filled with Hollyweird wannabes! No Armani or Dolce suits adroned my body. I had on ripped jeans, my green Mirage hat, and a soiled t-shirt flung over my ratty thermal underwear long-sleeve shirt. Unshaven for weeks, I smelled like an unusual mixture of the third floor of a nursing home and industrial antispetic (that all casinos use). I passed out a few times on the couch (for no more than a few minutes at a time). Although I dropped $50 at Foxwoods, I made all my money back when I took some of Haley's friends for $200 betting on various Golden Globe categories (Bill Murray's win was clutch!) I laughed when a group of girls almost got into a fight because one of Haley's Columbia friends jacked up on Dexitrim and champagne said, "Nicole Kidman looked like a hooker in her odd flapper dress." Seriously, it was silly but caused quite a stir. One woman took offense to her comment. Haley almost had to call the cops when the two started shoving each other! And I thought card rooms were dangerous? Get a group of neurotic actresses together and add plenty of alcohol, various narcotics, and diet pills, and you're ripe for a bare-knuckle, hair pulling, tit squeezing, fracas!

As you can tell, I'm slowly getting back into the swing of things after being out of my skull the last two days.... more updates coming for sure!
posted by Pauly at 1/26/2004 11:58:00 PM | Permalink |

 
My Top 5 Favorite Chocolate Candy Bars...

1. Chunky
2. Mounds
3. Krackel
4. Junior Mints
5. Snickers
posted by Pauly at 1/26/2004 11:57:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Skippy Time!

Skippy wrote some nice stuff on his site about hanging out with me in NYC.

He wrote: "Thanks for introducing Britt and me to the Cedar Tavern, and for showing us some of the sights around town, Pauly. When you finally get back to Florida, we'll return the favor with a tour of the Tampa Bay area, and some some arroz con pollo and cafe con leche at La Teresita!"

and...

"Pauly inspires me in many ways, and that's why it was so exciting to see him again after all these years... And thanks for showing me how to tie my scarf the New York way. I no longer need to worry about frostbite."

For more scarf tying stories check out the story I wrote last year when Molly came to visit called: Subway Story: Ides of March and her scarf incident on the subway!
posted by Pauly at 1/26/2004 11:49:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Dennis Miller's New Show

I just caught some of Dennis Miller's new gig on CNBC. He opened with a chimp! Gotta love the guy. He admitted that on his show he'll be: "A smart ass with the smart asses... and no Ed Asner!" His first guest? Gov. Arnold!!
posted by Pauly at 1/26/2004 11:43:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Another Run to Foxwoods!

Derek and I are driving up to Foxwoods later tonight. Our plan is to get there around 11pm and play low limit until 7am. At that point, registration for the Sunday morning NO LIMIT tournament takes place... and we'll be ready to play! Sunday's No Limit event cost $65 ($50 to the pool, $15 entry fee) with no rebuys. On Tuesdays, the entry fee for the No Limit event is $80 with unlimited rebuys in the first two levels, plus add-ons! I don't like the Tuesday torneys, that's why I haven't been playing them. Alas, Derek is ready for his first No Limit tournament (his previous two expereinces were limit events) and I'm all pumped up for myt first No Limit event of 2004.

If I want to consider the oustide chance of winning a seat at the 2004 World Series of Poker... then I have to at least make the final table at a Foxwoods weekly tournament. I decided that 50% of the money that I win in No Limit/Limit tourneys this year will go into a separate bankroll: my WSoP bankroll. Whatever I have rolled up in my sock drawer by the time the month of May saunters around... I'll take it to Vegas to parlay that into a seat via a satellite. So far... I have: $0.
posted by Pauly at 1/24/2004 04:07:00 PM | Permalink |

 
NYC Skippy!!

I spent the last three hours hanging out with Dave "Skippy" Simanoff and Britt! They flew into NYC late last night and are here for the weekend. I had Dave & Britt meet me at my local watering hole... the infamous Cedar Tavern just before noon. I had a couple of pints and caught up with Skippy while we ate lunch! If some of you do not know... we were freshman hall roommates at Emory University in Atlanta... back in 1990-91. Wow. That was such a long time ago. We were terrible roommates (something we can joke about today) but we had some great times involving plenty of hijinks with some of our fellow dorm mates. anyway, I took them to Strand bookstore and we walked through Washington Square Park and I left them on Christopher Street. It was great to see Skippy... the last time was in 1994 in Atlanta shortly before graduation. Little did we both know... we'd reunite almost ten years later in NYC... both as writers.

The funniest moment was when I had to teach Simanoff how to properly tie a scarf. He lived his adult life in the warmer climates of Gerogia and south Florida, so he's not use to this type of frigid weather. That reminded me of Molly's trip to NYC last February to see Phish. She also had a diffiuclt time tying her scarf! Man oh man... tourists!

Oh, you should read Skippy's latest article in the Tampa Tribune called: Commercial Real Estate Gains Ground. It's a great read.

posted by Pauly at 1/24/2004 03:57:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Hemlut Newton Dies in L.A. Car Crash

Photographer Helmut Newton Dies in Accident yesterday in LA after he left the infamous Chateau Marmont.

posted by Pauly at 1/24/2004 03:56:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Positively Fifth Street

I've been reading: Positively Fifth Street: Murderers, Cheetahs, and Binion's World Series of Poker written by James McManus. He is the author of four novels (Going to the Sun won the Carl Sandburg Award) and two books of poetry. This is one of the most interesting fiction books that I read in a long time. He covers the murder trial of Teddy Binion by his young, stripper wife and her lover for a magazine and the author wins a seat at the World Series of Poker (in 2000). A great read for sure.

Here's a touching paragraph from Page 24: "I admit I'm juiced and flush when I win and that penis feels like an acorn when I lose, plus my bankroll is paper-cut thin for a spell, but I'm hardly addicted. And I'm not gonna stop playing poker any sooner than I stop writing poems, a habit that much more expensive. The most I have ever earned for a poem is $100, and that poem took eight months to write. Usually I earn much, much less..."

I've often wondered if I was a pure poker addict. To date, writing is my number one priority. But alas, writing is my mistress... writing is the crack that I put in my crackpipe... you get the idea. So as long as I am not putting off writing to play poker... I'm doing OK!
posted by Pauly at 1/23/2004 04:32:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Last 5 Books I Saw People Reading on the Subway...

1. Emma by Jane Austen
2. Death Be Not Proud by John Gunther
3. Culture Jam by Kalle Lasn
4. Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller
5. Book Ends by Jane Green

posted by Pauly at 1/23/2004 10:53:00 AM | Permalink |

 

Reader Mail

Some more e-mails from loyal readers!

1. Re: Regis Alumni News

I got this email the other day from the Regis Alumni Office: "On the Athletics front, the Varsity Basketball squad has compiled a 10-4 record so far this season. The team has amassed a 6-0 division record. On Sunday, January 25th Regis will face Xavier in a triple header. The games will be held in the Regis gymnasium beginning at 12 noon with the freshman and culminating with the Varsity tip-off at 3 pm. All are encouraged to come and cheer the Raiders on to victory!

Several Regians have been featured in the media lately:

Patrick J. Fitzgerald '78, who is the U.S. attorney in Chicago, has been appointed Special Counsel to direct the investigation into whether Bush administration officials illegally disclosed the identity of an undercover C.I.A. officer.

Judge Gerard E. Lynch '68 was the subject of a NY Times article on January 13th concerning his struggle with imposing a heavy sentence required by law for a pornography case.

Tom Downey '91 had an article featured in the Op-Ed page of the NY times on January 9th. Titled Hazing and Heroism, it relates to the recent assault at a Staten Island firehouse. Tom is a filmmaker and author of the forthcoming book The Last Men Out: Life on the Edge at Rescue 2 Firehouse due to be released June 1, 2004. The book tells the inside story of one of America's most elite firehouses and the extraordinary brotherhood of men who face extreme danger every day."

Well, well, well... the graduates of my high school are kicking ass and taking names!! Tom Downey's article is a great read. I am eager to read his book and see his film!


2. Re: More Celebrity Poker: World Poker Tour Version

Derek sent me this: "I saw this WPT commercial for the new season. Guess what else they're adding to the new season? There's going to be the normal tour/season and then there's going to be a celebrity version too. This is the new thing - Poker Reality TV with semi-famous Hollywood people playing with fake money. They showed some of the contestants... I think it's on the Travel Channel on Sundays?? That chick from Talk Soup was playing. She had a huge stack. I thought I saw Mimi Rogers. There were some other clowns involved too. This might be getting out of hand now."

Dear Derek, I agree. Nothing is worse than seeing rich people play with free money. However, if poker's popularity is televised, you know that means more fish for real poker players to feast on! Bring on the fish!! see ya, McG


3. Re: Advertising Relationship!

Alvia sent me this email: "Hello Pauly, My name is Alvia, and I work with the marketing team of iGlobalMedia Group, one of the largest online gaming groups in the world. As a group, we manage and own several online Poker, Casino and Bingo rooms, our flag ship brands being www.PartyPoker.com ( the Largest Poker Room in the world), www.Starluckcasino.com, www.Planetluck.com & www.PartyBingo.com. I was going through your site, the Tao of Poker, and wanted to discuss a possible marketing relationship with you. I would be very interested in promoting our sites with you,could you please let me know of your thoughts on the same, please do respond to me with your number and a good time call you up. I can be reached on the numbers mentioned below in my signature. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Best Regards, Alvia P., Business Analyst, iGlobalMedia Group"

Dear Alvia, Thanks for checking out my site. I'll call you soon to discuss a sincere business relationship between the Tao of Poker (and the Tao of Pauly) and the groups you represent! Looking forward to doing business with you! See ya, McG
posted by Pauly at 1/23/2004 10:37:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Congrats to Jay!!

Jay (Senor's brother) won a tournament on Pokerstars.com! He sent me this email: "I played a $1 buy in No Limit hold 'em tournament on Poker Stars with 1391 entrants and won it all! Thus far the most excitement poker moment of my life. Granted it wasn't against the cream of the crop, but I felt pretty good about outlasting everybody. The winner took 1/4 of the $1390 pot so it was just about $350, but I'll take it!!! It got pretty intense at the end, the blinds got up to 40,000/80,000, so even with 800,000 chips (which is what I got to the final table with, there was a little over 2,000,000 combined in the whole tournament) every hand was pretty exciting!!"

Man, congrats Jay! I hope you can parlay your winnings into a couple of World Series of Poker satellites!! Good work!
posted by Pauly at 1/23/2004 10:33:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Spalding Gray... Still Missing

Where did my favorite author go? Splading Gray... Becomes an Official Missing Person.
posted by Pauly at 1/23/2004 10:07:00 AM | Permalink |

 
"You are your art. Take a look at what you've done... and that's who you really are." - Tenzin McGrupp in a recent newspaper interview

posted by Pauly at 1/22/2004 11:01:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Shock the Monkey!

Today is the official start of the Chinese lunar new year! This year is the: Year of the Monkey. Read an article about: The Year of the Monkey... where: "The Chinese year of the monkey is upon us, with astrologers warning of 'tumult' and 'trickery' ahead, as our web guide attests..."

To be more specific, 2004 is the year of the Wood/Green Monkey. Could it be my year?? Here's what they say: "January 22, 2004 ushers in the Year of the Wood/Green Monkey "Jia Shen". A Year of Movement, discussion and the exchange of ideas. A year highlighting: Politicians, diplomats, ambassadors, writers, spokesmen, storytellers, orators, salesmen, and confidence games. Welcome to the "Riverboat Gambler" year of the Chinese zodiac - the Irrepressible Monkey..."

And here's on more last write up on the Year of the Monkey. Try telling my Wall Street buddies this: "The lucky imp of a Monkey who rules this year will urge us to gamble, speculate and exploit risky but ingenious options. If you are quick on the draw, this year will yield huge dividends. It is definitely not a year for the faint-hearted or slow-witted. The Monkey gives no concessions and asks none in return. If there is a recession, the year of the Monkey will quickly put an end to it. Business will skyrocket under his optimistic and shrewd influence. The Monkey's resourcefulness will amaze and confound everyone...."

Alas, the Year of the Monkey could spell serious natural disasters. The last Monkey year was 1992. I cite the 1992 monster storm in south Florida... aka Hurricane Andrew which devestated eveything in it's path. Also, in 1980, Mount St. Helen's errupted in Washington state. If history is right, there will be some major natural disaster somewhere in America.

Well, that's all for now... Happy New Year!

posted by Pauly at 1/22/2004 10:07:00 AM | Permalink |

 
100 Phish Songs!

Check out this great poster by J. Morrison called: 100 Phish Songs. Can you name all of them?
posted by Pauly at 1/22/2004 10:05:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Last 5 Flicks I Saw...

1. 25th Hour
2. 21 Grams
3. Wild Man Blues
4. Kicking and Screaming
5. The Bad News Bears
posted by Pauly at 1/22/2004 10:03:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Da Brooklyn Nets?

Ratner Makes Bid to Buy Nets... Could Move from New Jersey to Brooklyn! His bid beat our NJ Senator Corzine and his buisness group.

Here's a bit: "The New Jersey Nets' owners have agreed to sell the team to a New York City real estate developer, a move that could bring Brooklyn its first major sports franchise since 1957..."
posted by Pauly at 1/22/2004 10:02:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Schanzer's Visit to the Palm Beach Kennel Club

I just posted a great write-up of Schanzer's Visit to Play Poker at the Palm Beach Kennel Club to the Tao of Poker. Take a peek! Last week, Schanzer called me from the airport in West Plam Beach and asked me about the Palm Beach Kennel Club, a greyhound dogtrack with a poker room. Little did I know he was going to take social security money away from old deaf guys!

Here's a bit: "While the dog track stuff leave much to be desired, the poker room was very nice. Leather bumpers, dim lighting, lots of TVs on the wall. Hold 'em had a serious line when I got there, so I played some 7 card (stud) for a while. I did fairly well, actually. I was up about $30 after a half hour. My biggest hand was a a full house - 9s over 3s. I felt bad, though. I kept raising this deaf guy at my table who had two pair. My hand kicked his ass, and it cleaned him out..."
posted by Pauly at 1/21/2004 11:05:00 AM | Permalink |

 
21 Grams

Haley and I saw 21 Grams yesterday. Directed by Alejandro Gonzalez Ibarritu... the mind behind Amores Perros... in his first feature English speaking film, he reunites with screenwriter Guillermo Arriaga for 21 Grams. I enjoyed several aspects of the film: the screenwriting and camera work appealed to me the most. Naomi Watts was amazing and as much as Sean Penn has his head up his ass with regard to international politics, he did a stellar job as a dying man.

Here's a quick plot summary: "Ibarritu interweaved the different strands of their story (the three lives) out of sequence, in a spiral around the story's lynchpin, the automobile accident. Presented chronologically, the story is fairly simple: Cristina Peck (Naomi Watts) is happily married until her husband, Michael, and two daughters are run over by an ex-convict turned born-again Christian, Jack Jordan (Benicio del Toro). He flees the scene. Michael's heart is transplanted into Paul Rivers (Sean Penn), who after discovering the identity of his unwitting benefactor, turns away from his wife Mary (Charlotte Gainsbourg) and becomes obsessed with Cristina. Meanwhile Jack finds himself unable to reconcile what has happened to his new-found faith..."

Here's what Haley had to say about the acting performances: "The three main actors (Sean Penn, Naomi Watts, Bencio Del Toro) should all be remembered at award time. Penn is utterly believable as a man minutes from death, even if his vocation as a math professor seems arbitrary... his tenderness towards Watts is very real. Watts is grief personified, struggling to life with Penn even as she pummels her rage against him. Kudos goes to Del Toro, the ex-con who finds redemption more grueling when the faith he denies forces him to do the right thing..."
posted by Pauly at 1/21/2004 10:35:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Phish NYE Run is an article written by Kenny Bohlin from Glide Magazine. Thnaks to Alea for the link!

Here's a bit: "Phish is on the musical rise. If they were in a rut before the hiatus they have certainly broken through now. Even the lighting, always so perfect and well done is coming into new levels of excitement, stretching out into uncharted territory. I’m not sure how this run will look five or ten years from now, but presently it is the summit, the highest level reached so far. I always say I’m stunned when Phish exceeds expectation, but I have grown so used to it I sort of expect it..."

Also check out a great review of Page's band Vida Blue & The Spam Allstars and their gig in Vermont last week.
posted by Pauly at 1/21/2004 10:26:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Wednesday's Politico Roundup: Iowa Down, New Hampshire Up Next

I love a good upset! (Except when my Yankees lose to the Marlins). Well, the people of Iowa spoke strongly Monday night... and poor Dick Gephardt quit his run for the White House with tears in his eyes... like the sniffly nerd who thought he had a legitimate shot to win his high school's presidency... and then he lost miserably to the unambitious jock and even had less votes than Laukkin, the feral exchange student from Finland, who was a write-in joke candidate. Just when everyone was ready for a Dean-Bush showdown... John Kerry came out of nowhere to knock out Dean... similar to Star Wars... when Han Solo and the Millenium Falcon swooped in from the heavens and shot up Darth Vader's TIE starfighter, which was locked onto Luke Skywalker's X-wing fighter, speeding through a trench, ready to be blown to tiny inter-galactic bits (when Luke was ready to blow up the ghastly Death Star... using the 'force' of course).

The Howl of Dr. Dean!

Will Dean recover in New Hampshire? Most likey. Will Kerry and Edwards new-found support continue? It's still too hard to tell. But this next upcoming week, I expect Dean to improve upon his speeches and drop the "howling". Even the NY Times is questioning Dean's unorthodox concession speech... in which the hysterical and nefarious Dean sounded like a gangly girl with a slight lisp and bad case of acne who got dumped by her boyfriend... for her looser, dumber, sluttier, bigger breasted older sister! Indeed, Dean was angry, bitter, and frightening! Make sure you read: A Concession Rattles the Rafters (and Some Dean Supporters). Here's my favorite part: "Howard Dean scared a lot of children last night..."

Listen and download Dean's rant: Here!! Thanks to Drudge for the mp3 link!

But as of right now... Dean Holds a Slight New Hampshire Lead Over Kerry.

Some related articles:

1. Still Crazy? is written by Hugh Hewitt from The Weekly Standard. Here's what he thinks: "The Democratic hopefuls can't keep their feet out of their mouths. Is anyone paying attention?"

2. Does Wesley Clark Have a Prayer? is written by Matthew Continetti from The Weekly Standard.

3. What happened to Ralph Nader? Check out: Nader and the Newmanites, written by Doug Ireland from The Nation.

4. Notes and Quotes from Campaign 2004

5. Are You Better Off? The Kitchen-Table State of the Union is written by Robert L. Borosage where he considers the state of the union as it looks from America's kitchen tables.

Profiles of Democratic Candidates:
1. John Kerry
2. Howard Dean
3. John Edwards
4. Wesley Clark
posted by Pauly at 1/21/2004 12:51:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Soldier's Letter to Michael Moore

Soldier's Letter to Michael Moore is an amazing read. Regardless of what you think of Mr. Moore, you should listen to what one of our own soldiers thinks about America and the war. It's brutally honest.

Here's a bit: "I have just returned home from "Operation Iraqi Freedom". I spent 5 months in Baghdad, and a total of 3 years in the U.S. Army. I was recently discharged with Honorable valor and returned to the States only to be horrified by what I've seen my country turn into.

I'm now 22 years old and have discovered America is such a complicated place to live, and moreover, Americans are almost oblivious to what's been happening to their country. America has become "1984." Homeland security is teaching us to spy on one another and forcing us to become anti-social. Americans are willingly sacrificing our freedoms in the name of security, the same Freedoms I was willing to put my life on the line for. The constitution is in jeopardy. As Gen. Tommy Franks said, (broken down of course) One more terrorist attack and the constitution will hold no meaning...

And it just seems like nobody cares that their dreams are being crushed by a society and a system. We're pressured to conform to a standard. Go to school for 12 years. Go to college, get a diploma, get married, use the degree to get a job you hate to work at for 40 years making somebody else rich, and then have your kids shuffle you into a retirement home where you wait for your turn to die. I know that's not the american dream..."
posted by Pauly at 1/21/2004 12:03:00 AM | Permalink |

 
I'm Really An Angel!

One year ago today, if you were to poll all of the Tao of Pauly readers and ask them the following:

1. Who will most likely be involved in an Oxycontin drug scandal and check into rehab in 2003?

2. Who will go on trial for securities fraud and obstruction of justice in 2003? And possibly face 30 years in jail and a $2 Million fine?

90% of you would have answered... Me! for both questionss! Alas, I got through 2003 without a stint in rehab and without getting nabbed by the federalies for shady stock trading practices. Who would have thought that Rush Limbaugh and Martha Stewart... icons and representatives for the right-wing conservatives and homemakers all over America... would be caught up in serious trouble with the law!?!?
posted by Pauly at 1/20/2004 11:22:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Derek's Thoughts on Foxwoods

I asked my brother to share with me (and the Tao of Poker readers) his thoughts on his first visit to Foxwoods earlier this month. You can read his entire write-up: Derek's Thoughts on Foxwoods.

Here's a bit: "Foxwoods poker players can be tougher to play but much more rewarding and exciting to beat. Nothing is better than robbing an old guy of his 401k money. They get so pissed when you beat them on hands. This one old guy kept slamming his cards and fists on the table every time I beat him head to head. Since the old guys play only good hands, they get really pissed and shocked when someone beats them. They think everyone young knows nothing about poker other than what they see on TV and that's is why I like sticking it to the old guys..."
posted by Pauly at 1/20/2004 08:01:00 AM | Permalink |

 
British Man OD's on Pot... sounds like anti-marijuana propaganda. Take a look for yourself.

Here's a token bit: "A man of 36 is believed to have become the first person in Britain to die directly from cannabis poisoning. Lee Maisey smoked six cannabis cigarettes a day for 11 years..."

First Mad Cow... now Mad Weed.
posted by Pauly at 1/20/2004 03:42:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Iowa Surprise!! Kerry Wins Iowa, Dean Stunned... Finishes in 3rd!

Wow! They people of Iowa have spoken! An angry Howard Dean limped back to Vermont via New Hampshire after a good old ass whipping. Dick Gephardt got sent home and it looks like his run for the White House is over.

John Kerry Scores Huge Win in Iowa... Edwards, shocked everyone, and came in second. I knew that Dean lost ground the last week or so, but I'm shocked he slipped to thrid! He blamed several negative media attacks from his fellow Democrats as the reason for his demise in Iowa. We'll see if his counterparts can withstand a simialr attack in the future. Oh, what the fuck happened to Madonna's Buddy? Wesley Clark?

Read the NY Times editorial: The Iowa Surprise.

Here's a bit: "John Kerry, who came in first last night, and John Edwards, who scored a surprising second, appeared to be the men voters thought looked most electable. That throws cold water, at least temporarily, on the long-held theory that primary voters favor candidates who are too far to the left or right to win in the fall. In this era of attack-dog politics, it's nice to have a moment of pragmatism. The fact that the two senators did so well in Iowa is, however, no proof that either would be the best Democratic nominee. Neither Mr. Kerry nor Mr. Edwards has yet gone through the kind of withering scrutiny that Dr. Dean endured in Iowa..."

Next up... New Hampshire!
posted by Pauly at 1/20/2004 03:34:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Hunter's Note!

Note to Self is an article written by Hunter S. Thompson. Whether you're on the football field or the political arena, the Good Doctor reminds us that winning is a full-time job.

Here's a bit: "Sunday was a bad day for quarterbacks, and a worse day for the poor fools who bet on them. I was one of these, and I am still in shock from the horrible beating I took on the Patriots-Colts game. It put me so out of whack that I only vaguely noticed that I won big with Carolina in the second game of the day. "This is a sorry day for pro football," I said to the sheriff as he raked in his huge winnings. Both games sucked in a very deep way. It looked like a Hells Angels riot at the infamous Altamont rock festival, or even the first wild days of our latest war against Muslims in Iraq, when our finely-trained U.S. combat troops were mopping up on the bloody road to Baghdad..."

And here's who Hunter is picking to win the Super Bowl: "I figure the Patriots will win by doing the same thing they've been doing for the last 15 games. They will cripple the QB whip on the Carolina receivers like a pack of vicious hyenas on a wounded lion. The score? Let's say 21-14. Why not? This is the gambling season."
posted by Pauly at 1/20/2004 03:07:00 AM | Permalink |

 
The Simpsons Top WGA Noms!!

The Simpsons & Law & Order... Get Top Writer's Guild Awards Noms

Here's a bit: "Fox's "The Simpsons" and NBC's "Law & Order" franchise scored three nominations apiece Monday among television and radio categories of the 56th annual WGA Awards, while "Malcolm in the Middle" had a strong showing in episodic comedy with two nominations..."


posted by Pauly at 1/20/2004 03:03:00 AM | Permalink |

 
MLK Quotes

The Daily Dave quoted a nice collection of Martin Luther King quotes in honor of his day yesterday. Check them all out.
posted by Pauly at 1/20/2004 02:58:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Last 5 Books I Saw People Reading on the Subway...

1. The Holy Bible
2. The Last Juror by John Grisham
3. Nausea by Jean-Paul Sartre
4. A Hero of Our Time by Mikhail Lermontov
5. White Death by Clive Cussler & Paul Kemprecos
posted by Pauly at 1/19/2004 11:57:00 AM | Permalink |

 
New Issue of Truckin'... Coming Soon!

I have been working on the Jan 2004 issue of my blogzine Truckin'. This month I hope to add another new writer to the staff! So far, I have stories from three other writers (two fellow poker bloggers who are also writers at heart!), in addition to some prose that I wrote this past week, which will be included. I am in the middle of working on my Miami & NYE Phish story... something that could definitely be expanded into a novel. My only problem is: what parts should I publish?!? What started out as a 750 word piece has morphed into a 5,300 word monster (that's 10% of a novel!) I need to stop and pick out the best stuff for the issue, which I hope to have up by the end of the week (before I head off to Foxwoods).

The good news is that Truckin' is alive as it's ever been! Just when I thought Truckin' was doomed to become another shelved project of mine (I have dozens of unfinished projects...), a new life was breathed back into my blogzine! Let's not forget, two main characters from one of my novels, Sweet Nothing, were spawned from Truckin' short stories.

Why did Truckin' survive a serious rough patch? I focused on the content of my work, instead of the recognition (or lack there of) that it had been getting. I know that there were a few months (in early 2003) when only two or three people read Truckin'... and virtually no one participated in selecting the Best Truckin' Short Story... but now, readership has jumped to impressive numbers thanks to NYC Bloggers, the increased web traffic on the Tao of Pauly, my aggressive promotion of Truckin' via weblog directories, and the insane amount of hits that the Tao of Poker generated.

A lot of pressure was taken off my shoulders when I found new writers to submit stories. For months, I penned four or five stories per issue, and that took a toll on my creative juices. Now, I can relax and focus on writing one or two main stories an issue.

Yes, some days, I'm still shocked that it's going strong! The new issue will be out soon. If you have not read last month's issue or missed some issues from 2003, feel free to browse the archives for some great reading material.
posted by Pauly at 1/19/2004 10:50:00 AM | Permalink |

 
"The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently." - Nietzsche
posted by Pauly at 1/19/2004 07:55:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Iowa and the Road to the White House in 2004: Gephardt the Populist

The Last Populist is written by Fred Barnes from The Weekly Standard who thinks that "Dick Gephardt is the genuine article but the people of Iowa don't seem to care anymore."

Here's a bit: "THERE IS NOTHING NEW about Dick Gephardt, but there is something unique. He sounds like William Jennings Bryan, the Great Commoner and the foremost populist in American political history. Not many genuine populists remain these days. But Gephardt is one. And his appeal to older, unionized, working-class voters differentiates him from the other Democratic presidential candidates seeking votes in Monday's precinct caucuses in Iowa.

Gephardt's pitch is simply this: Average Americans must not be crucified on a cross of unfair trade and tax cuts for the rich. Other Democrats may say the same thing, but not the same way and not with the same emotion and emphasis. John Kerry is a conventional Northeastern liberal and sounds like one. Howard Dean is an angrier version of the same thing, while John Edwards is a fuzzier version. Gephardt is different."

Unfortunately, I think that Gephardt doesn't have the charisma that his fellow Democrats have and unless he leaves the Midwest with some solid support, he's doomed to get whooped in New Hampshire. Although I must say, that as a writer/artist with no health insurance... his aggressive ideas to repeal all tax cuts to the middle class and the rich in order to fund a program of guaranteed health care for everyone, sounds the most appealing to me.

posted by Pauly at 1/19/2004 07:46:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Poker Penguin's Literary Blog!

The Poker Penguin is not just a poker player, he's a writer as well, from New Zealand. He submitted a short story for this month's issue of Truckin'. And he recently started a second blog called: Work in Progress. Check it out.

Here's a bit: "Writing is hard work. I don't mean the coming up with ideas, I get ideas to spare. I don't always mean the first draft, although sometimes I get bored or stuck and can't be bothered continuing. I don't even mean the physical act, although typing a draft into the laptop can give me sore shoulders. I mean the process that turns raw words into actual writing..."
posted by Pauly at 1/19/2004 07:01:00 AM | Permalink |

 
New Phish CD?

Check out: Phish To Return To Studio Next Month.
posted by Pauly at 1/18/2004 10:07:00 PM | Permalink |

 
29 Poker Blogs and Counting...

I just added nine new links (to the left side of the Tao of Pauly via the Poker Blogs Links) to brand new poker web logs and journals. It looks like everyday there is a brand new poker blog out there! So far, I have 29 poker blogs linked up (including mine...) and I must say that the Tao of Poker is one of the best blogs out there. Go see for yourself! It's my most popular blog, read all over the world by poker players (small time and big time). Mostly everyone plays online and I think I play in live games in casinos more than most of my fellow poker bloggers combined! That's not to say that they are not better players... some of those guys (and gals) are solid and I wouldn't be surprised if one of my fellow poker bloggers made wona seat this year and it to the final table at the World Series of Poker in 2004 or next year!

Poker fever is hitting the world! The highest rated shows on Bravo and the Travel Channel in the past year have been Poker related!! New poker blogs are popping up everyday... from Minnesota to Central Florida, from New Zealand to New York City, from L.A. to Louisiana, from Ohio to DC, from Las Vegas to London, from Kansas City to New Dehli, from Hong Kong to Hackensack, from Texas to Toronto... you can read about everyone's new addiciton and their pursuit of the one thing we are all seeking... the title of... World Series of Poker Champion!
posted by Pauly at 1/18/2004 11:42:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Tao of Pauly Linked Up in Some Odd Places!

I did some back-tracking to see where my blog has been linked up recently. Thanks for the link-ups! Here you go:

1. 101 - 365 (baby!)... a blog of truth and beauty by Chris Heilman. This is what he writes: "This weblog's objective is to explore the interplay between the ephemeral quality we call Beauty, and Truth. Dyadic opposition comes up here often: art / science, painting / photography, optics / oenology."

2. Prints the Chaff... Tom Mangan's blog for newspaper editors. This is how Tom explains his blog: "This site is mostly about my work, which at the moment is on the features copy desk at the San Jose Mercury News, or the Merc as we call it when we can't be troubled to type the rest of those characters. The Merc has nothing to do with the content here, except that having a job there discourages me from ranting about the folks who pay the rent."

3. Guitar Chad is a musician from Texas.

4. Big Soapy Tits. Yes, finally! The Tao of Pauly has become officially sponsored by Big Soapy Tits!

5. Philosophical Conversations run by Gary & Trevor recently linked me up under: Literary Blogs! Thanks guys.

And check out this very strange "Search". I was linked under: wal-mart's female trouble via Babeica.com.

As you can see and tell, I have been linked up by some unusual places! I'm sure there are more links out there, but I have not had the time to check them all out. Thank you to the fellow bloggers and webmasters for linking up my site!!
posted by Pauly at 1/18/2004 10:38:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Leave All Emotions at the Door: NFL's Final Four

That saying was on a sign that hung up on the trading desk of a fellow Wall Street broker. He needed to remind himself that, when dealing with ridiculously huge sums of money... you need to be calm, cool, and decisive. That mantra seeps into the gambling world. When betting... without a severe detachment from your feelings and emotions... you are doomed to become a loser.

Now it's Sunday morning and there are four teams left, all vying for a shot at the Super Bowl. I have to remind myself that saying when looking at today's NFL playoff matchups. I fuckin' hate the NE Patriots. I despise them. But on paper, all signs point to: bet on New England. My head tells me to bet on the PATS. My heart tells me to take Indy. And my gut says... stay away from pro football and stick to poker, where I have more control over the outcome!

Alas, when I took Indy this year, they covered for me, plenty of times. I dunno how many times I chatted with Chicago Bob this past season, minutes before Sunday kickoff, and marveled at the line in the Indy games. Week after week, the Colts managed to cover game after game. Do you see a trend here? Well, I do.

To hell with the weather, it's not as cold as it has been in the past few days. I don't give a shit about all this "dome" vs. "outside" crap... (although it does matter when coming down to field goal kickers!)

Should I worry about the coach? New England has the edge there. How about the defense? NE has the edge there too. How about the QBs? Peyton Manning has been unconcious the last two weekends. I have not seen a performance like that out of a QB in sometime. The last player I saw get that hot in the playoffs was in hockey & baseball... the Dominator in the late 1990s (Hasek got hot that one NHL playoffs for Buffalo) and Will Clark for the SF Giants against the Cubs in the late 1980s, when he hit everything pitched to him out onto Waveland Avenue.

This past season, although I came in third place in the spread pools, I picked more winners this season than the previous two (53.2% in 2003 vs. 51% in 2002). With parity running rampant through tthe NFL, like SARS spreading through a remote Chinese village, I thought that this year was the toughest in a decade to pick winners with the spreads. So why did I end up with a high percentage? Late in the year (after Turkey Day)... I seemed to finally pick up on betting trends and I kicked ass. I took Home Dogs in December, bet heavily on hot QBs, and stuck to the favorites during division matchups. And I jumped from the middle of the pack up to the front and had a chance to win it all! Should I apply those same tactics to the playoffs? I did last week and finished 3-1!

Today, I'll go with the better QBs... Peyton Manning and Donovan McNabb... and bet my farm and racehorse on both games!

Pauly's Picks:
Indy + 3 1/2 at New Enlgand
Philly -4 vs. Carolina

Rib Boy likes New England & Philly... because they are "the two best teams."
posted by Pauly at 1/18/2004 09:34:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Sunday Morning Reading

1. Watching Big Brother is an article written by Sabrina Tavernise and appears in the NY Times.

Here's a bit: "From an apartment in Flatbush that he shares with his partner, Susan Hull, and six cats, Mr. Brown has been refining his maps of 12 Manhattan neighborhoods. By his count, the number of surveillance cameras in Manhattan has tripled during the last five years, driven by an increase in private cameras. His method - more art than science - involves walking neighborhood streets and scrutinizing walls and doorways. In the five years since the New York Civil Liberties Union counted 2,397 cameras in the first formal survey in New York, Mr. Brown estimated that the number of cameras jumped to 7,200.

As the number of cameras increase, there are virtually no laws that govern their use, said Robert Gellman, a privacy consultant whose clients include government agencies and private companies. He said difficult legal questions are being raised...."

2. War of Ideas, Part 4 is written by Thomas Friedman and appears in the NY Times.

Here's a bit: "Let's not mince words. American policy today toward the Israeli-Palestinian conflict is insane. Can anyone look at what is happening - Palestinians, gripped by a collective madness, committing suicide, and Israelis, under a leadership completely adrift, building more settlements so fanatical Jews can live in the heart of Palestinian-populated areas - and not conclude the following: That these two nations are locked in an utterly self-destructive vicious cycle that threatens Israel's long-term viability, poisons America's image in the Middle East, undermines any hope for a Palestinian state and weakens pro-American Arab moderates. No, you can't draw any other conclusion. Yet the Bush team, backed up by certain conservative Jewish and Christian activist groups, believes that the correct policy is to do nothing. Well, that is my definition of insane..."

3. Iowa Showdown! Kerry Holds Slight Lead is written by John Whitesides.

Here's a bit: "Four Democrats are locked in a tight race to the finish in Iowa one day before Monday's presidential caucuses, with John Kerry clinging to a narrow lead, according to a... poll released Sunday. Kerry led Howard Dean 24.4 percent to 23.1 percent in the three-day tracking poll, with Richard Gephardt at 18.8 percent and John Edwards at 18.4 percent in the tightest Iowa caucus campaign in history...."

4. Famous by Association: What Nicole Richie and "The Simple Life" Teach Us About America and Celebrity is an excellent article written by Matt Labash and appears in The Weekly Standard.

Here's a bit: "WHENEVER I EXPRESS my penchant for reality television in the circle of snide, knowing, not-as-smart-as-they-think-they-are crosspatches that I'm cursed to call friends, I often do so defensively, as if I am advocating Satan-worshipping or kid-touching. No more. From it's earliest dawn -- when MTV's "Real World" debuted in 1992 -- I have been there for reality television, and it has been there for me. For those who watch television, it is a pointless exercise to pose as a television snob, for the simple reasons that even the most cerebral shows are generally accessible to the average seventh grader..."

5. Friends Too Sexy for Chinese TV is an AP article.

Here's a bit: "The hit American sitcom 'Friends' may prove too risque for Chinese television. All television in China is government-controlled, and China Central Television had planned to begin airing 'Friends' this year. Staff are trying to edit out the sex talk, but "we will face many problems in translation and abridgment," said Qin Mingxin of CCTV's entertainment unit in an article on the Web site of the Communist Party's People's Daily..."
posted by Pauly at 1/18/2004 09:02:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Last 5 Books I Saw People Reading on the Subway...

1. Othello by William Shakespeare
2. Sea Biscuit by Laura Hillenbrand
3. Net Force by Tom Clancy
4. Petal on the Wind by V.C. Andrews
5. The House of Seven Gables by Nathaniel Hawthorne
posted by Pauly at 1/17/2004 09:20:00 PM | Permalink |

 
College Hoops Roundup

Today there are three big games:

1. UCONN (1) at North Carolina (11): The top ranked Huskies travel to the infamous Dean Dome to take on Roy Williams and the Tar Heels. UNC lost a close game to Maryland earlier in the week and they'll look to May & McCants who are both averaging 17 points to lead the way. Felton, leading the Heels in assists, needs to step up and have a solid game and help contain UConn's superstar Ben Gordon (19 ppg). Sean May has to matchup with Okafor who leads UConn in points and rebounds (11.6 rpg). Should come down to the last five minutes.

2. Wake Forest (3) at Duke (2): Wake is coming off their only loss of the season to Texas and head into hostile Cameron Indoor Stadium. I fucking hate Duke, so I'm, pulling for Wake in this game! Super soph, Eric Williams, leading the Demon Deacons in points & rebounding, must have a perfect game (after a terrible 4 point output against Texas). They have to watch out for Duke's leading scoring Redick and their super freshman sensation Luong Deng who is having a solid season averaging 14 ppg and 6 rpg.

3. St. Joseph's (6) at Xavier: You gotta love St. Joe's! They boast one of my favorite backcourts in Jameer Nelson & Delonte West (combined scoring average: 37.7). They'll lead the way for the undefeated St. Joe's. But they have to be careful with Xavier. They are only 9-5 but historically they play tough at home. How many times over the last decade has top ranked teams walked into Xavier, only to be upset (think Cincy & Dayton)? That is why St. Joe's is only a 3 1/2 point favorite today. Watch out for swingman Romain Sato, who leads Xavier in points & rebounding.

And on Monday, Pitt (currently undefeated, and should remain so after they trounce Rutgers today) will take on UConn Monday night for a matchup between the two best teams in the Big East. That should be an exciting game. Oh and St. John's sucks. Bet heavily against them this week.
posted by Pauly at 1/17/2004 10:55:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Hit Me Paris... Another HDouble Adventure

HDouble once again made me laugh with his latest (non-poker) paragraph: Don't you wish you lived near Beverly Hills?

Here's what he wrote: "I probably came as close to hitting the jackpot as I ever will walking to lunch at work yesterday. As we were crossing the street, a black Mercedes SUV rolled up, and I was staring at Paris Hilton, who was 2 feet in front of me. I yelled to my co-worker "Push me in front of that car!", but the driver sped up, and blew threw the stop sign before I could wedge myself under the tire. Man that girl is ugly."
posted by Pauly at 1/17/2004 10:52:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Matt Damon & Ben Affleck Bellagio Poker Tales

Linda from Table Tango is a poker dealer from the Bellagio in Las Vegas and she keeps a journal of her work stories. Some are hysterical. She deals to high rollers and normal Joe's.

Here is what she wrote earlier this month about our favorite actors: "My first game of the New Year found me dealing $100-$200... Pot Limit Holdem to Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. The line-up:

Mike (from Canada and a new face to me) - 1s
David (Skalansky --infamous poker writer) - 2s
Mike W. - 3s
Amir Vahedi (high roller who made the final table at the 2003 WSoP) - 4s
Ben Affleck - 5s
Matt Damon - 6s
Lee S. - 7s
Renee - 8s
Chau - 9s.

I stepped behind the dealer, and gave Chau a mini finger tip, back scratch massage. Matt looked up at me with a big grin and I smiled and said, "Hi!"

He returned my greeting. He has an instant, infectious smile. His smile made me smile. I don't believe it has anything to do with his being a STAR. He's just charismatic. Three ladies were seated along the credenza by the table and while I believe at least one of them was with Matt, I have no idea which one. The whole area was crowded and never really cleared out. One obnoxious twit kept jumping over from his seat on Table 7 ($80-$160 Holdem) to bother Ben. He apparently was drinking but it's hard to tell in some situations. Once he jumped behind Ben and demanded, "How do you like that phone? Do you like that phone?"

Ben did a drier than Kansas in a dust storm reply, "Yeah, I like the phone."

I couldn't help but chuckle as Ben caught my eye and I asked, "Any excuse to talk to you, right?" He rolled his eyes as if he wished they'd all blow away in that dust storm. Someone managed to escape the Security Guard and Carmen and threw a piece of paper on the table asking for an autograph. He gave them one. These players are always well behaved anyway but with the addition of the Stars, the whole table attitude appeared to be one of light hearted fun. Matt was drinking champagne and never knew when the bet was to him. It was fun for me. He'd look up, I'd be watching him, he'd smile and ask if it was on him, I would smile and reply, "Yes."

Once when he looked at his cards, he laughed and then looked at me. I couldn't help but chuckle. He asked, "I've really got a poker face, don't I?"

I replied, "I love your poker face." The 1s won a big pot and threw me $20 (tip)... after I said 'thank you' and locked it up, he said, "I wanted change." He was kidding. I told him that anything that flew my way went into my pocket unless someone immediately said they wanted change. He was cool and knew what he was doing and how to play but I wonder about the last hand I dealt... more on that in a flash.

Matt finally went all-in with the A-J of Diamonds against A-K. The 1s held A-K. The Flop was a blank, the Turn an Ace, and Matt was out of action. He had a Green and a Red chip left in front of him ($30). The 1s asked, "What about those chips?"

Matt said, "Those are for Linda," as he threw them to me. I smiled at Matt and said, "I have to frame these."

He chuckled over that one.Matt wanted to know if he could just sit and watch the game or if he had to give up his seat. Everyone went into 'you can sit' - 'you don't have to go'. I just flipped a Yellow button in front of him so I wouldn't deal him in. A few minutes later, Ben gave him a $5,000 chip and he was back in action. The last hand I dealt found Ben and the 1s going to war. It was raised pre-flop and the Flop came A-little-little. The 1s bet the pot which was $3,800. Ben raised. The 1s turned over A-K off and pondered for a few minutes, then finally released the hand. This is the hand that made me wonder... After I got pushed, I walked around behind Matt, and touched his arm. He looked up. I said, "Thanks. That was fun."

He grabbed my hand for a few seconds and gave me the big smiley, agreeing with me. Damn I love poker! The rest of the night was lively and filled with noise. Everyone seemed to be in a 'watching the stars' type of good behavior."
posted by Pauly at 1/17/2004 10:36:00 AM | Permalink |

 

No Cell Phone!

Until furthur notice, I do not have cell phone service. I have an unpaid bill. I can get calls, but I am unable to make them at the present time. If you need to get in contact with me, please call me on my cellie, but do not leave a message... because I am unable to retrieve messages.

So if you need to leave me a message... please do so on my voicemail in my studio. If you do not have that number, e-mail me and I'll send it to you. Sorry for the mess. Verizon sucks ass.
posted by Pauly at 1/16/2004 11:15:00 AM | Permalink |

 

Reader Mail

It's that time of the week again. Actual e-mails from actual viewers!

1. Re: Armando, Brazil, and My Novel...

Armando sent me this yesterday: "Hello Pauly, Just checking in. By the way, read your novel (Sweet Nothing) finally over Christmas. Good stuff man!!! It's a much more mature novel and the story/character development was thick. Good work. Course... it didn't exactly fit with recommended reading during a holiday celebrating the birth of Jesus. New Year's Eve here ROCKED! We went to a friend's father's apartment on Copacabana beach. It was amazing to sit there drinking champagne served by uniformed waiters while over 2.5 million people in white thronged the beach. (Wearing white is a custom here on New Year's Eve) The building we were at is famous for it's New Year's Eve parties so we were given wristbands a week in advance to let us by the bouncers at the door. Fucking crazy! Definately would repeat that. Now I just have to start planning the Carnaval festivities. Thinking about you and hope you're hunky-dory, A"

Dear Armando, Great to hear from you and that you are having a wonderful kick ass time in Brazil. Take care, be safe and thanks for wanting to read my work!! My best to Jeremy. You rock, McG


2. Re: Official Noam Chomsky Website

Pablo the manager of www.chomsky.info wrote me: "Dear Pauly, A few weeks ago, www.chomsky.info, The Official Noam Chomsky Website, was launched. The Noam Chomsky Archive (http://www.zmag.org/chomsky/index.cfm) and Bad News: Noam Chomsky Archive (http://monkeyfist.com/ChomskyArchive), to which you have some of your pages linked, though still useful, are now superseded. We thought you may want to update those links. It is important that you actually make the update, since Google and other search engines currently use the number of incoming links to rank web pages. Currently, as we are new, we have a very low position on Google. But if people like you help us, we may soon have our site on top and give everyone the opportunity to access Noam's official website. Thanks in advance for your help. Regards, Pablo Stafforini"

Dear Pablo, Thanks for your email. I changed the links to Noam Chomsky's website. Keep up the great work. More people need to read Noam's perspective of the world. See ya, McG


3. Re: Sigge and American Idol!

Sigge wrote me: "Hi, and Happy new year! First of all, you presented me as 'a writer' in your e-zine, which can't be justified at all. I write non-stop that's true, but it's mostly just bullshit so I prefer the title 'word-wanker'. Now I have a question for you: How widespread is the "Idol" contest in the U.S? Have you even heard about it? The reason why I'm asking this is because our Norwegian Kurt Nilsen won the 'world idol' competition, and I can't figure out why anyone out there (outside the f*cked up borders of Norway) would like to vote on our beloved plumber!"

Dear Sigge, Hey word wanker! I don't watch that show so I dunno what's up. But be proud of your boy! The world has spokeen and he's their idol! Embrace him... hooooo! Word, McG


4. Re: Japahns Say 'Happy New Year'!

Kohei wrote: "Have a good year! Be careful of Beef."

Yuh wrote: " Happy New Year, Pauly! You must had a great time at New Years!!! Now I am doing very good. My plan that to attend college in the America was entered. I got student visa this month and I am leaving Japan next week. So, This year I will be able to see Phish again!! My body and soul want Phish live. Also, I want to see you again. And thank you for your painting, The painting is hang on my wall now. Sometimes it turns me on. I love it. See ya! Yuh"

Dear Kohei, I will avoid the great peril of the beef! Not to worry! See ya, McG

Dear Yuh, Great news that you will be studying in America. We'll go see Phish this spring... in Vegas!!! I'm excited that I will get to see you this year! have a safe trip, see ya, Pauly


5. Re: The Taos...

Schanzer sent me this: "I've been following your gambling career on the blog. And the Phish shows sounded tremendous. I really enjoy your website - (Jerry) Engel and I were both sayign how fun we have when we check in. (My) book is going well - almost done with my edits... but another two weeks and we're home free. AC in March??? That's what I'm thinking. we'll pick a day and do it!"

Dear Rib, Thanks for checking out all of my sites! I can;'t wait to see you in Atlantic City! Shoudl be a kick ass time. Best of luck on your book. I expected an autographed copy! Take care, Pauly

6. Re: Tao of Poker

The Poker Babe from NYC sent me this email: "Somehow I stumbled upon it and it's very entertaining. Anyway, wondering if you have a regular game in the city? You might want to check out the February Mens Journal...there's a 5 page fashion piece with today's top young poker players -- it's pretty entertaining. I just finished Positively Fifth Street -- it's pretty good! So while it may sound strange, if you make a trip to Foxwoods or the Borgata let me know as I may want to tag along. I'm really quite normal though my friends think my obsession with poker is crazy."

Dear Poker Babe, The next time I hit AC or Foxwoods, I'll give you a call! I'm gald you enjoyed my site. Happy birthday! See ya, McG
posted by Pauly at 1/16/2004 07:11:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Current Tempature in Central Park: 3 degrees

Amount of money it would cost to get me to stand naked (with ear muffs), outside on Broadway and 72nd Street for 10 minutes: $780,425.00

Artic Weather Blankets NYC

Here's a bit: "The snow has passed but the frigid cold remains, as shivering New Yorkers dig out and plows continue to clear the streets. A little over five inches of snow have fallen on the five boroughs since Wednesday night, but now skies are clear. The bitter cold will continue the rest of the week... dropping through the afternoon to near zero overnight. Winds up to 30 miles per hour will translate into snow drifts and dangerous wind chills between 20 and 30 degrees below zero..."
posted by Pauly at 1/15/2004 11:26:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Man It's Fucking Cold

My ears are colder than ice cubes. My bellybutton is frozen for fucks sake. The walk from the subway was pure hell. I imagined that the current skin scathing, harsh cold blast is what climbers on Mount Everest must endure every second up on the Mountain. I've come to the conclusion that they are crazy motherfuckers.

I heard Al Gore was at the Beacon Theatre tonight talking smack about global warning. Today was the coldest day in NYC in decades and poor Al "Stiffy" Gore got outstaged again. This time by Old Man Winter. This friggin' guy can't ctach a break. He's the dorky guy who takes the "object of his affection", the sultry, girl-next-door to the prom, but she ditches poor Al, gets drunk with the football team, then goes home with the cool guy and blows him in his pick-up truck on their way to the Dairy Queen. Stiffy Gore couldn't hit water even if he fell out of a boat. I don't think the guy could get laid in a whorehouse. That's why he really lost to Bush. Bill Clinton on the other hand, we all know that good old Bubba himself was one slick dude who's had his rocks knocked a few times by various ladies of the night. "Just like slipping your fingers in a bowling ball..." he'd gently whisper in his confident Arkansas drawl...
posted by Pauly at 1/15/2004 11:22:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Heady News Update...

Hot off Drudge! The wild and the wacky. A ruskie mutant girl with X-ray vision? Girl Has X-ray Vision is a must read.

Here's a bit: "Sixteen-year-old girl Natalya (Natasha) Demkina... possesses "dual vision". She is capable of discerning a person's internal organs without using X-ray or ultrasound. Natasha has already disproved several medical diagnoses and has not made any mistakes. A series of medical experiments... provide substantial and undeniable proofs of the girls' unique abilities. "Growing up, my daughter was just an ordinary child," states Natasha's mother... "Natasha started to talk when she was only 6 months old. At 1, she could already recite Pushkin and Nekrasov by heart. By 3, Natasha mastered the alphabet and learned to operate a snowmobile... Since early childhood, Natasha has been resistant to cold temperatures. She practically walked around naked till winter. She once walked barefoot in the snow. Overall, she was just a normal kid..."

The last line was the funniest! Hey lady, your kid is a fucking alien!

posted by Pauly at 1/15/2004 11:17:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Spalding Gray Still Missing...

Did Spalding Jump from the Staten Island Ferry? is an article that appeared in Newsday.

Here's a bit: "Gray's family is fearful that the troubled writer-actor, who has twice attempted suicide in the past two years, may have jumped off the Staten Island Ferry, according to a family friend... Gray's wife, Kathleen Russo, had received a report from investigators that a Staten Island Ferry employee told police that he had seen Gray, or someone resembling him, riding the ferry late Friday. The worker told police that the man got off the ferry in Manhattan... This leads the family to believe Spalding may have been making some sort of dry run..."
posted by Pauly at 1/15/2004 11:09:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Fish Fry: HDouble Style!

Just read a great blog from HDouble about his trip this wekeend to the "border" to shakedown elderly fish in Primm Valley, Nevada! Looks like he should have just stood outside and mugged the poor saps before they walked into the casino. Can you send me directions to this casino?

He wrote: "But I began to feel sorry for this clueless collection of imposter poker players. They acted like they knew the game, and must have had some experience, because they knew how to bet (they still hadn't learned how to fold yet, but that's ok). I don't think there's any way that any of them had read a poker book. And I felt my killer instinct fading away, feeling like I was playing against pop warner football players rather than people who have played the game for years and years. But as I was dealt rockets for the second time, the pity faded away...."

Hey HDouble, I found a title for your new novel... The Pity Faded Away: Confessions of a L.A. Grinder.

Alas, I have felt that not-so-good feeling once or twice (when I used to work on Wall Street and you'd get a push-over client that would just blindly hand you over his life savings and I'd shake my head thinking, "Geez, what a fool. Will this guy also let me fuck his wife and his daughters too?") but for the most part you have to pump yourself up for that killer instinct and continue sucking out old people's social security money. I have a feeling that I won't see any of my social security deposits so I might as well cash in on dead money. When I first played poker in a casino, no one had any sympathy for me!! Like Canada Bill Jones said, "It's immoral to let a sucker keep his money." Too bad those miscreants don't play at Foxwoods.

Anyway, HDouble's story reminded me about the time at the Excalibur in Vegas this past December, when my brother Derek took a drunk guy sitting next to him for all his chips (he had a rack and a half of $1 chips). I never saw Derek play better, and at the same time, I never say anyone just give away their bankroll like that. That guy fell asleep (or passed out) in the middle of a hand! Derek had to nudge him so he'd call one of his bets (the drunk guy lost of course).

But we're not done with HDouble! Here's one of my favorite parts to his last entry: "My stack was up to 750 at this point, and I was running out of energy. There were two chubby, drunk looking girls watching the game from the rail for around an hour. They were looking over my shoulder, and I leaned back, initiating what turned out to bed the funniest conversation of the night. My wife had gone to bed long ago, which may have been the reason they were sweating me (why couldn't they have been hot, drunk, and good poker players? Is that too much to ask?)"
posted by Pauly at 1/15/2004 11:06:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Pauly's Pub Fantasy Updates

Yes, several of my pools ended while I was away and now is a perfect time to let you know who won what! Congrats to Spider, Derek, Joe Moore, and myself... all winners of various pools over the holidays! Good work, gentlemen!!

Pigskin Pick'em (Non-Spreads): Tie... Chico's Bail Bonds (Derek) and Shakedown Street (Pauly)
Pigskin Pick'em (Spreads): Team Moore (Joe Moore)
Grid Iron Challenge (Fantasy Football): JTS Yamakas (Spider)
Grid Iron Bowl II: Spider and JTS Yamakas beat out Derek and Rib Boy's Latrells
Bowl Mania College Football Bowl Pool: Inside the Paris Hilton (Pauly)

Thanks for everyone who participated. I had a shot of winning four pools (I ended up winning one, tied for first with another, came in third place in two others!) You can visit: Pauly's Pub to read complete fantasy pool updates.

And yes, my team with Senor... Chronically Blunted finished in last place in the Lamont Jordan Fantasy Football League which was run by some of Gittler's friends from Oceanside.
posted by Pauly at 1/15/2004 11:02:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Phish NYE Pics

Check out pictures from: Sarah B... Also, if you are bored and enjoy more Phish pics, then you can take a peek at another flog I started called: Phish Pics
posted by Pauly at 1/15/2004 02:17:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Last 5 Flicks I Saw...

1. 28 Days Later
2. Gangs of New York
3. Anything Else
4. The Pianist
5. X-Men 2

posted by Pauly at 1/15/2004 12:09:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Wednesday's Politico Roundup: Who's for Who in 2004?

I will try to devote some time every Wednesday updating the latest carnival we call the primaries leading up to the "faux election" in November. I know that Bush is going to win, but it's gonna be fun watching the Democrats scramble to put forth a worthy candidate. If I were to vote for a Democrat... I'd pick: Howard Dean. But since I'm neither a Democrat, nor a Republican... I won't be voting for either jerkoff.

Here are some interesting reads:

1. Former President (and Emory U. professor) Jimmy Carter Offers His Support for Dean.

2. Former NY Knicks legend and former NJ Senator Bill Bradley Adds Dean's Support from Democrats, which means he won't run on an independent ticket this year. He'd be a great VP! But I think in order to get Southern votes (from Bush) the Dems will add a southerner to the ticket.

3. Former Georgia Governor and current US Senator, Democrat Zell Miller is set to back Bush pissing off Southern Democrats.

4. Washed up pop star Madonna will do anything these days to get press... she kissed Britney Spears, attempted to write children books, speaks with proper English pronunciation... and now she's backing up General Wesley Clark and his run for President.

5. World Wide Dean is an article written by Jonathan V. Last from The Weekly Standard.

6. The Doctor Is In is the Rolling Stone Interview with Howard Dean, written by Jann S. Wenner & Will Dana.

7. And don't forget to visit out Howard Dean's blog: Blog for America. I wonder if he has the Tao of Pauly linked up?

Well that's it for now. I would love to get an assignment like Dr. Hunter S. Thompson had in 1972, when he was paid by Rolling Stone magazine to follow around McGovern and Nixon all over America on the campaign trail, which he chronicled in his epic book Fear & Loathing: On the Campaign Trail 1972, all the while Hunter drank like a fish, dropped LSD like they were tic-tacs, dosed Washington Post stiffs, and ran up ridiculous hotel room service and bar bills... and missed every deadline that the editors at Rolling Stone gave him!!

Who will I endorse? I might vote for fellow poker blogger: Mean Gene who announced his candidacy for President on his blog. He wants to legalize poker in all of the 50 states! That gets my vote.

Here's what Mean Gene wrote: "Richard Nixon famously financed his first Congressional campaign with money he won playing poker. While in the Navy the future Tricky Dick saw his fellow officers playing poker and was astonished at how much money was changing hands. Gambling was verboten to a Quaker like himself, but already Nixon was showing the, ah, moral flexibilty that was to haunt him later in life. He learned to play, learned to play very well, and made a bundle. He put his poker winning to use, was elected, and the rest is history (or infamy, depending on how you look at it).

Why do I bring this up? Because, my fellow poker junkies, yesterday I announced that I am a candidate for the Presidency of the United States of America. I just turned 35, making me qualified for the job, and I think it's my duty as a citizen to run for the highest office in the land. And I think it's important that a poker player have the job. Think about it--who better to stare down the Kim Jong Ils and Osama bin Ladens of the world than a guy who has capped the betting after a check-raise on the river while holding nothing better than bottom pair--and WON?

And let's face facts, the leading candidates out there wouldn't exactly intimidate you at the table. George Bush would have a cheat-sheet that lists hand rankings, and you know he'd have Donald Rumsfeld and Karl Rove sweating him and clearing their throats and shaking their heads every time he reached for his chips. Howard Dean? Come on, the guy is one tough hand away from tilt. Say something like, "You know, I heard Vermont is just Canada without doughnuts", or, "If Ethan Allen and the Green Mountain Boys were around today, they'd be up before the UN War Crimes Tribunal". And then sit back and wait for the steaming Governor Dean to raise you with 2-6 offsuit.

So vote for me, and I promise to bring a smart, honest, grinding attitude to the White House. Halliburton wants a multi-billion dollar contract in Iraq? Let them ante and play the game like everyone else. Some tinhorn dictator or terrorist threatens? I won't fold the hand, I'm gonna be like Scotty Nguyen and go all-in, bay-bee! Come on, be honest--wouldn't you like to see us nuke someone again? Just a little bomb, a few kilotons?

So vote for Mean Gene, and my first act as Prez will be the legalization of poker rooms in all 50 states. That's how I plan to fund my re-election campaign--I get a taste of the rake, just a taste, enough to wet my beak. I'm sure I can get more cash that way than the GOP can raise shaking down businessmen and corporations.

Mean Gene in 2004! Come on, vote for me, or else you might be facing a Phil Hellmuth candidacy in 2008."

God bless poker and God bless America.
posted by Pauly at 1/14/2004 11:01:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Knicks GM Isiah Thomas Fires Head Coach...

Yep, my Knicks are making wholesale changes in the last few weeks. First they picked up Coney Island's native son Stephon Marbury. Now they fired their head coach and hired legend Lenny Wilkens (also a Brooklyn native). I hope they can make a run for the playoffs.

Read what ESPN.com has to say: Chaney, Malone, Kruger fired; Wilkens hired. Here's a bit: "Isiah Thomas pulled off a shocker on a bizarre day even by New York Knicks standards, firing Don Chaney and his two top assistants Wednesday and hiring Lenny Wilkens as head coach... the NBA leader in career coaching victories and losses."
posted by Pauly at 1/14/2004 06:41:00 PM | Permalink |

 
I Make People Laugh in London!

Thanks to London Froggy for blogging a few nice words about me on his site, regarding: Celebrity Poker Letdown. He got a huge kick out of my "wish list" for the next version of Celebrity Poker Letdown.

Here's what he had to say: "Yesterday was the final episode of the Celebrity Poker Showdown on Bravo, and the best thing about this is definitely the word "final". I believe there is a resounding agreement in the poker blogging community about how bad this show is, but for some hard to comprehend reason most of my fellow bloggers seem to have watched it from start to end. Top feedback award goes to Pauly at the Tao of Poker, who has even issued a wishlist for the next instalment (May Bravo not hear him, please!)"
posted by Pauly at 1/14/2004 12:49:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Phish MTV Article

Great read... thanks to Haley for the link: Phish Unwrap Their New Year's Surprise: Mini Cheerleaders.

Here's a bit: "Suddenly the stage was crowded with funk masters, and Clinton positioned himself front and center. Bookended by Phish's own reggae-based "Makisupa Policeman," the collective engaged in a lengthy medley wherein Clinton commanded, "Make my funk the Phish funk, I wants to get funked up." It was a highlight that would not only keep fans talking, but one that compelled many to attend P-Funk's late-night warehouse show, where bassist Mike Gordon returned the favor with a guest appearance....

The band returned only 12 minutes before the countdown was to commence, easing into "Jungle Boogie," a first-time cover. Crew members scrambled to move Fishman's drums as a light blue '68 Mini Cooper detailed with pink flames was lowered in their place. The door swung open and one by one by one, like circus clowns from a magic car, sprung the members of the Palmetto High School marching band and cheerleaders wearing freaky bunny masks. Here was the horn section Anastasio had pined for the night before, and much more.

Phish deferred to the marching band's drum section through the countdown, but as the balloons fell Anastasio wailed his traditional "Auld Lang Syne" guitar interpretation, leading the whole ensemble into an instrumental rendition of Black Sabbath's "Iron Man." Then, with the stage covered in giant balloons, the marching band marched through the audience toward the back of the arena while an invisible Anastasio started "Runaway Jim."..."


posted by Pauly at 1/14/2004 10:48:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Last 5 Books I Saw People Reading in Airports...

1. The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
2. The Life of Pi by Yann Martel
3. Sea Biscuit by Laura Hillenbrand
4. Song Book by Nick Hornby
5. Eva Luna by Isabel Allende
posted by Pauly at 1/14/2004 09:10:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Celebrity Poker LETDOWN

I watched the final episode of Celebrity Poker Showdown on Bravo with utter bewilderment. I laughed when Phil Gordon told us (the audience) about "tilting." I wondered who would win? I had my money on Paul Rudd. We share the same first name and some of my friends suggested that he could play the title role of Charlie in my screenplay Charlie's Goldfish. I really liked their graphics on best hands, which was both neat and informative. Ben Affleck came out to the Loser's Lounge and acted like a cool guy. He wanted to get all the celebrities together for a "real live game"... the man's addicted to cards, I tell you! Sometimes that makes me wonder about that guy... I mean I fuckin' love poker, but if J. Lo was my girlfriend, I'd be spending less time at the poker room in the Bellagio with Matt Damon (thanks to Linda from Table Tango for the great Matt & Ben tales!) and rubbing elbows with shmucks like me at Foxwoods and devote a shitload more time sitting around spreading suntan lotion over J. Lo's firm, yet supple buttocks. Sorry for the tangent, back to poker! From Phil Gordon's commentary I sensed he had the hots for Nicole Blondie Whatshername? I mean his huge erection nearly toppled the commentator's desk. With the insane ratings and poker's new found popularity... I'm sure they'll be another season/special of Celebrity Poker Letdown.

Here's my "wish list" of the next installment of Celebrity Poker Letdown:

Table 1: Ozzie Osbourne, Paris Hilton, Screech from Saved by the Bell, Michael Jackson, Martha Stewart
Table 2: Jenna Jameson, Kirk Cameron, Bea Arthur, Jimmy Carter, Dieon Sanders
Table 3: Gary Coleman, Hunter S. Thompson, Liza Minneli, Al Sharpton, Hugh Grant
Table 4: James Lipton from Inside the Actor's Studio, Penn (but not Teller), Britney Spears, Minnie Me, Dennis Rodman

Ok, I'm going to stop now. I don't want to give Bravo any wild ideas for free... and the thoughts of Michael Jackson squealing the words, "I'm all in!" kinda freaks me out.
posted by Pauly at 1/14/2004 12:57:00 AM | Permalink |

 
"Genius could be the ability to say a profound thing in a simple way. He should stay the hell out of writing classes and find out what's happening around the corner. And bad luck for the young poet would be a rich father, an early marriage, an early success or the ability to do anything well..." - Charles Bukowski
posted by Pauly at 1/13/2004 11:45:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Spalding Gray Still Missing...

I have a bad feeling that Spalding killed himself. He is one dark fellow. The writer/actor was born in Providence, Rhode Island and started his own theatre group in NYC. It's a sad fact, but true... one of my favorite writers had been fighting depression over the last two years. Check out what E! said in their article: Spalding Gray Missing.

Here's a bit: "In September of 2002, Gray attempted suicide by taking his sailboat out to sea and jumping overboard. However, he stopped himself and climbed back aboard the boat. A week later, he tried to jump off a bridge near his Hamptons' home in North Haven. At the time, his wife, Kathleen Russo, told the New York Post he was seeking treatment for depression. "He's done everything he possibly can to try to get better. But depression, combined with the head trauma, and the wrong cocktail of antidepressants, and Sept. 11, have been too much for him," she told the Post.That year, Gray had himself committed to a mental hospital in New York and underwent electroshock therapy. But those around him say he hasn't been able to shake his mental illness completely."


posted by Pauly at 1/13/2004 11:01:00 PM | Permalink |

 
2004 World Series Still On!!

World Series of Poker will happen but location remains undecided was written by Adam Goldman from the AP.

Here's a bit: "The popular World Series of Poker will take place this year but where the cards are dealt remains undecided, new owner Harrah's Entertainment said Tuesday.

"It is our intent to make sure the World Series of Poker continues,"Harrah's spokesman David Strow said."It's just so early in the process to speculate where the World Series of Poker will be held."

Harrah's secured the rights to the world's premier poker event when it signed an agreement Monday to buy the storied Binion's Horseshoe Hotel&Casino for about $50 million, according to a source familiar with the deal."
posted by Pauly at 1/13/2004 07:53:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Noam's Thoughts on Iraq and the Capture of Saddam

Selective Memory and a Dishonest Doctrine is an article written by Noam Chomsky and appeared in the Toronto Star.

Here's a bit: "Iraqis have some insight into this process of conquerors and conquered. The British created Iraq for their own interests. When they ran that part of the world, they discussed how to set up what they called Arab facades – weak, pliable governments, parliamentary if possible, so long as the British effectively ruled. Who would expect that the United States would ever permit an independent Iraqi government to exist? Especially now that Washington has reserved the right to set up permanent military bases there, in the heart of the world's greatest oil-producing region, and has imposed an economic regime that no sovereign country would accept, putting the country's fate in the hands of Western corporations."
posted by Pauly at 1/13/2004 07:51:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Hunter S. Thompson's Back!! Being a Betting Man...

Hunter returns (he broke his leg while in Hawaii on assignment last month) with a great article... Being a Betting Man: from the Pats, to Howard Dean to Charlie Hustle, the Good Doctor tells us where to put our money.

Here's a bit: "My attorney called form Boston last week and said he would bet almost Anything on the New England Patriots to win the Super Bowl. His voice sounded crazy and deeply excited. I could tell he had the gambling fever.

"Anything?" I asked him. "Okay. How about giving me the Colts plus 10 this Sunday? Let's take these games one at a time."

"Ten!" he yelled. "That's ridiculous! The spread is only three and a half. I would never give you 10 points. the Colts are the hottest team in the playoffs right now. They are playing PERFECT football. Don't insult me with your stupid sucker bets!"

I laughed and hung up the phone. I knew he was a helpless junkie for betting on the Patriots at almost any price. So I decided to work him a bit. I knew he would be calling back soon...

...The Colts have been good to me against Denver and Kansas City, so I am not about to dump them now. That would generate bad mojo and worse karma. So I will bet them again on Sunday, along with five or six points -- and nevermind what I said yesterday about the folly of betting your heart instead of your head. Somebody's hot streak is going to end Sunday. The winners will go on to the Super Bowl, and the losers will feel suicidal, as always. Hell, I might even lose, myself, but why worry? Not even a super-gambler can win all the time.

My own W-L figures are about 70 percent for the season. I can live with that anytime, so why not bet the underdogs on Sunday? It is not entirely smart, but I am doing it anyway, gambling that both Indy and Carolina will at least beat the spread.

I am also betting that Howard Dean will win both Iowa and New Hampshire, and that Pete Rose will NEVER be voted into baseball's Hall of Fame. That truthless swine should have been put to sleep a long time ago."
posted by Pauly at 1/13/2004 04:45:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Breaking News!!

Harrah's to Buy Binion's! Thanks to London Froggy who blogged the article! At least there will definitely be a 2004 WSoP!! I was worried when the IRS shut down Binion's the other day. I was gearing up for a shot at this year's World Series of Poker, where there were rumors of a $3 Million first prize and possibly over a thousand entries!
posted by Pauly at 1/13/2004 12:43:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Monday Night Limit Tournament at Foxwoods

I just blogged a detailed report to the Tao of Poker on how I did in the tournament!

Here's a bit: "On Monday nights Foxwoods has a Limit Hold'em Tournament that cost $65. The entry fee is $15 and $50 goes to the actual prize pool... with 211 in the tournament that meant $10,550 in the prize pool! $3,500 would go to the winner and the tourney paid out 27 places (20-27 got 1% or roughly $100).

Level 1: Blinds $25-25, Betting: $25-50... First hand I am the little blind with Q-Jo. I limp in and raised a bet in front of me when Qs-Js-3d flops. Pauly just flopped top two pair!! I raised and two callers. Nothing of interest falls on the turn. Old Guy #2 with the PATS hat bet $50 and I raised him to $100. He calls. On the river a spade hits and I don't like that at all. I was hoping he held A-Q or something like that. He checked and I bet $50. He just calls and turns over 8-4 spades! I was so pissed getting river'd like that. The very next hand, I'm on the button with A-Qo. I come in for a raise and five callers. I caught an ace on the flop (with two small hearts) and after the turn (Kd) its me and the old guy in the Pats hat. I caught another ace on the river, but that ace also was the third heart. Did I just get fucked again? He turned over 3-4 suited and my semi-monster A-Q did not hold up. The French guy next to met started a barrage of insults to the far end of the table.

"What kind of crap is that? Winning with shit on two flushes like that?"

He shook his head and said what I was thinking. Two hands into the tourney I was down $500. You start with $2000 in chips and I was down to $1500 and it was not even 7:10pm!!"
posted by Pauly at 1/13/2004 12:42:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Gil's Photolog...

Check out: Embedded in Brooklyn a photoblog by Gil Shapir!
posted by Pauly at 1/13/2004 12:22:00 PM | Permalink |

 
"Texas can be a strange place if you dont know the right people..." - Neil from Bathtub Gin.

posted by Pauly at 1/13/2004 12:12:00 PM | Permalink |

 
Monday Trip to Foxwoods

Visit the Tao of Poker to read up the full report on my trip to Foxwoods!

Here's a bit: "Derek and I rented a car and drove up to Foxwoods... and play all afternoon until the Monday Night Limit Hold'em Tournament ($65 buy-in). I asked Haley if she wanted to tag along, but she had an acting class, so she declined...

I had a nice sized bankroll (still in tact after trips to Las Vegas and Miami... the only hit was a $200 ugly loss on Dec. 23rd during an impromptu run to Foxwoods to meet Senor & Jay) and was ready to kick some ass. Some days I walked into card rooms with a positive, yet cocky attitude... and yesterday was no different...

Five hours into our session, I was up $120. I was up nearly $160 at one point, but I hovered around the $100-120 sector most of the afternoon. I had over $300 in chips at the table... I had the big stack and everyone new that sat down assumed I won all of that there. Eventually, I got "river'd" a few times and lost a huge pot on a full house to an old guy who showed up with his wife. They never played in a casino before. They openly admitted that they watched poker "on the TV." I'm always suspect of anyone who refers to television as "the TV."..."
posted by Pauly at 1/13/2004 08:01:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Spalding Gray... Missing!

Spalding Gray Reported Missing... yes one of my favorite writers is nowhere to be found! He is the author of Swimming to Cambodia.
posted by Pauly at 1/13/2004 07:31:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Pay to Live Like... Me!!! My Life as a Fantasy Camp...

Iggy from Guinness & Poker recenlty blogged the following to his site on 1.3.03:

"Tao of Poker is in Miami, beating the hell out of the recently legalized Florida low-limit hold em games. Phish fans should read his Phish reports and poker players should read his poker reports. Pauly's life is a fantasy camp. People should PAY to live as Pauly!!"

Thanks Iggy!!! I realized somewhere on the beach in South Florida watching the sun rise one early morning that I am one of the luckiest people in the world and I get to do things that everyone wishes they could! Alas, that pushes me to continue this amazing ride. I will be starting new seminars on February 1st... you pay me $2,500 and I'll tell you how to have a balls out time of your life. Thanks again, Iggy!
posted by Pauly at 1/12/2004 04:58:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Sigge's Facelift!

Sigge recently tweaked his weblog. Check out his new and improved site! Here's what he wrote: "As you can see, I've been doing some idle work during my off-time in X-mas, and I hope you like it. The new and improved blog has a nicer and more userfriendly look to it, it welcomes you as a visitor and helpfully shows you where to go to do what. Now, there are still some changes that must be done, so hold on to your hats..."
posted by Pauly at 1/12/2004 04:56:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Britney & Vegas...

"I've been to Vegas and I can tell you -- some quickie wedding at 5 in the morning is the least crazy thing you can do in Vegas. A crazy thing in Vegas is, 'uh, maybe we should buy another eight ball and then figure out what to do with the body.' That's Vegas. Everybody I know has a Vegas wife or husband. It's nothing. Ned Flanders got married in Vegas." - John Stewart, on Britney Spears' Vegas marriage

posted by Pauly at 1/10/2004 04:14:00 PM | Permalink |

 
NFL Playoffs Best Bets

Who do I like? Carolina +7 1/2, Tennesse +6, KC - 3, and Green Bay +6.

Rib Boy likes: Carolina and KC.

HDouble reported on his site that he'll be going with: the UNDER in the Carolina/St. Louis and Indy at +3. Here's what he said: "I'm waffling on my original prediction here, after Peyton's masterful play calling last week (he's one of the few QBs that calls his own plays) and the Indy special teams. The Chiefs win by capitalizing on their opponents mistakes, and I think Peyton interceptions or Edge fumbling could lose it for the Colts, but I don't see it happening."


posted by Pauly at 1/10/2004 04:03:00 PM | Permalink |

 
The Taos on Hiatus?!?

Jerry suggested: "You should put up on your Taos that you are on hiatus becasue I'm sure it would make them feel better than you were just too lazy to blog. I would have been pissed these days if I did not know your intentions of a break (well deserved mind you) and kept seeing no new posts - but hey, thats just me - a person who loves to read about others lives and live through that - I have been living through Leticia - the 17 year old masterbating fiend who is stil iin high school but thinks she may want to be a stripper - I got the link from Belle!"

Despite the rumors you heard...

1. I did not fly to Vegas to wed Britney Spears, although she's been hanging out in Miami! And the reason I have not been blogging has nothing to do with all those nasty rumors... getting Britney drunk on Mai Tais and dragging her down the aisle of the Little White Chapel on the Strip is not quite my style.

2. I did not lose my entire poker bankroll at the Dog Track and I do not owe a guy named Slow Jimmy $4K! My poker loses are somehwere near $35 for the entire Florida trip.

3. That odd rumor of a "secret wedding" in Jamaica with Haley is definitely not true.

As most of you already knew, I took an unscheduled hiatus... almost a week long break from the blogging world. All of my sites... the Tao of Poker included, have not been worked on in over a week.

So... why Pauly? There are several factors, but the main reason for the hiatus is that I had been blogging heavily for the last two years or so... without any major breaks. Even when I was on vacation, I was blogging. I needed a short hiatus to recharge, rest up, and spend a "technology free" week. Alas, part of my 2004 Resolutions were to become less dependent upon technology... and I embraced ceratin aspects of my new mantra while on holiday in Florida. But I'm back... sort of... I'll be blogging on and off this weekend. But rest assured, I'll be back in full swing by Tuesday!! Until then, feel free to check out my archives and several of my short stories in Truckin'. I know you have not read all of them!! See ya, McG
posted by Pauly at 1/09/2004 10:52:00 AM | Permalink |

 
Schanzer Reviews: Terror in the Name of God

Jon Schanzer wrote a book review of Terror in the Name of God written by Jessica Stern which appears in the Jerusalem Post.

Here's a bit: "There are a multitude of reasons why religious fundamentalists kill, and a plethora of groups to do the killing. Stern, however, wisely boils the grievances of religious militants down to five broad rubrics: alienation, humiliation, demographics, history, and territory. Using primary source interviews with terrorists (both in jail and on the loose), she explains these grievances through the personal stories of self-professed American Christian fundamentalists, Palestinian Hamasniks, Indonesian Islamists, Jewish redemptionists, and Kashmiri mujahadin... The book is fascinating because it allows the reader to eavesdrop on a plethora of interviews with extremists from the far corners of the earth. Even more interesting is that these radicals actually feel comfortable pouring their hearts out to a curious Harvard professor. One wonders what it must have been like for a Jewish-American woman from Harvard to meet with radical Islamists from Indonesia, Kashmir, and Gaza. This partially explains why Stern's study is a page-turner."
posted by Pauly at 1/09/2004 10:35:00 AM | Permalink |

 

Reader Mail

Back by popular demand... real comments from readers sent to me via e-mail!

1. Re: Phish in Miami!

Marie from San Francisco sent me this: "Got back home to Seattle last night, here for a few days before heading home to Mt. View and wrote this on some plane or another after staying up all night and seeing the sun rise over South Beach. I fell in love with Phish all over again this week. That's not to say I ever fell out of love, I didn't. I would routinely chastize anyone who spoke of the band 'breaking up' and would correct them with the word 'hiatus'. I even recall one "I told you so" message I got to leave on a doubter's voicemail when last years NYE/Hampton run was announced (only one neener neener neener call amoungst many 'yay they're coming back' messages traded back and forth among friends that day). So I never lost the faith, but these shows were like a re-affirmation of how good they can sound, and how great the music can make us feel.

I leave setlisting and musical intricacy reviews to others, but from the get go a set choke full of oldies in the first set first night, through a rocking 2001 with a great light show, the up and hopping songs like Antelope and Stash, to the slower love songs like Waste and Loving Cup, vacuum antics, George Clinton, Moma Dance, Dancing Bunnies and the cute little Miami Vice style mini car, the band was on and I was right there with them. It was all good. Interlaced with the music itself of course is the live music being on tour experience. Seeing friends from around the country who all come together when this band does is special. I know this has been said before but everyone that I met form the Japanese tour have turned out to be quality people. I guess because of the money/desire/planning that was required to it there (for those coming from the US at least) it turned out that all are good folks. Guess I shouldn't overanalyze it and just accept that it is true. ;)

I had a lot of fun connecting and re-connecting and spending some time with some of you people. I made it over to Jason's poster exhibit which was very neat, several artists had their work out for display and purchase. And a chance to spend a little time... staying up all night and to see the sunrise on NYE.

So much magic happens at and around Phish shows, the way that people connect and and get aquainted or already are without yet knowing it [yet]. I love that part of the show experience too. I was thinking this week that it can be seen as a metaphor for life in general, we're all connected to each other, and to the earth that we live on, whether we realize it or not. Choices that we make in how we treat other people, consumption patterns of resources to deciding that when bad stuff happens in life we can decide to react positively and face challenges with humor and a good attitude, all of those choices really do matter in the long run.

So thank you everyone, good karma pays off, keep spreading the love and thanks for smiling at strangers this week, don't know about you but I got those back a hundred fold. :)

"Nothing I see can be taken from me"... Cheers, Marie

Dear Marie, Thanks for sharing. I too fell back in love with Phish, especially musically. They are playing some of their best stuff in years!!! Great to see plenty of Japhamily in Miami! Have a great 2004! See ya, McG


2. Re: Phish in Miami

Sanabu from Japan wrote me: "Hi,Pauly. I'm Sanae (Sanabu) from Japan. Do you rememeber to me with Emi and Junko together? I could find your Web site (Tao of Pauly) by Yahoo! Search the Web!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I came back to Japan yesterday. It was really nice to meet you. Thank you very much for talk to us. Did you enjoy the last show in Miami? I spent GREAT time!!! My seat was 323 gate,but it was nice view. I have a jet lag. So I'm watching Phish DVD of 'Live in Vegas' at midnight......(Japan time is 4:00 in the morning). I hope to meet you again! See you. Baki Baki. Sanabu"

Dear Sanabu, Thanks for writing and yes I had an amazing time hanging out with everyone from Japan. I heard that Phish probbaly won't return to Japan this year (yes, there are strong rumors of a European Spring Tour.... hmmmmmmm) so you'll have to fly out to Spain to meet me again! See ya! McG


3. Re: December Truckin': Subway Story

HDouble recently sent me this e-mail: "Just wanted to say that (your subway story) had me chuckling at work... nice work my man!! Hey have you read Confederacy of Dunces? This passage sort of reminded me of that. I've been thinking of writing sort of a modern version of that, but this passage sort of captured that feel. I think my writing is a bit too serious for that type of book, but your style fits perfect. Check it out if you haven't read it, it's a quick read. Incidentally, I the main character's name... Ignatious!"

Yo HDouble! Thanks for the email. Glad you liked the story. I'll check out that book as soon as I can!! Thanks for sharing your novel excerpt!! See ya soon, McG

posted by Pauly at 1/09/2004 10:10:00 AM | Permalink |

 

Congrats to Ty & Christy!

Yes! My old friend from Seattle... Ty and his ladyfriend Christy finally tied the knot recently! They are the proud parents of two adorable twins... Quinn & Jude.

Here's parts of an e-mail that Ty sent me: "As it goes the picture of Christy and I kissing is at our wedding!! Yup that's right, I made her an honest woman. We threw together our wedding in a week while some of my family was in town for Thanksgiving, we all drove to Charleston SC, and Christy found an absolutly beautiful mansion for to us to get married in. We were married at 12:00 on 12-2-3, outside on the fifth floor coupela, with her parents, my dad, his wife, and our two sons! We were lucky enough to have a 70 degree day in December! Everything went very well, after our photo shoot, my bride and I hopped into a horse drawn carriage with a bottle of champagne, and toured the historic city of Charleston! Her parents took the kids for two nights back to Charlotte, and we got to play like a dults again! Anyways that is the story for now, I sure was sad to miss the reunion this year, I can't wait for some stories!!! Give me some dirt!!!! Always, THE LOCKHARTS"

posted by Pauly at 1/09/2004 10:05:00 AM | Permalink |

 

Happy New Year!!

Greetings from Miami, the "city of lights" and all things crazy. There was not a better place for Phish to play this year. They took over the entire city for four days and busted out some of the best music I heard in a very long time. I sincerely had the best time and the most fun since 9.11... and after a long year... a very long year... filled with highs and lows, ups and downs, creative highs and personal lows... I found myself in Miami at the end of the year to reflect on the brevity of life and the absurdity of mental attachments that for years held me back from becoming my true self. I made new friendships and re-established old connections.... for a nice mix of shared enthusiasm and dire passions. For sure, Miami was a serious party town and no one throws a party like Phish. Some of my best New Year's Eves have been at Phish shows and last night was no different.

12.31.03 American Airlines Arena, Miami, FL
Set 1 (1:20): Wilson Reprise > Mike's Song > Hydrogen > Weekpaug Groove, MoMA Dance, Guyute, YEM, First Tube > Tube

Set 2 (1:05): Stash, Seven Below, Lawn Boy, Chalkdust > Slave > Chakdust

Set 3 (1:30): Jungle Boogie (with Marching Band) > Auld Lang Syne > Iron Man, Runaway Jim > Miami Jam > Simple, Reba, I Didn't Know > Feel My Heat > HYHU, Antelope
Encore: Frankenstien
posted by Pauly at 1/01/2004 09:21:00 AM | Permalink |