Tuesday, March 07, 2006

L.A. Droppings

Here are fragments of sentences and stories that have not yet found it's way onto my blog. For example, I never wrote about a lost Friday night a couple of weekends ago. Change100 and I ate at some family Italian joint in Westwood called Anna's and I parked in front of Junior's which is the left coast version of Junior's in Brooklyn, famous for their cheesecakes. It smelled delicious. Anna's food was pretty good. I liked the sauce.

We met Joe Speaker and his Cousin Matt at a bar called 14 Below in Santa Monica. It was a dive bar that featured bands. It smelled like spilled beer and patchouli. We would miss Leo Nocentilli by a day and the week before Tea Green Leaf played there, and they are a very good band. Despite the trashiness of 14 Below, they booked solid bands from time to time. Most of the trendoids in the joint were there to see Supercreep at Midnight. We had to sit through two terrible bands before them and sat at the bar drinking heavily and watched Joe Speaker teeter from bouts of self-loathing and sheer excitement that he was out in a bar in LA and only steps away from sexually lascivious sixteen year olds.

Change100 went to college with the singer in the first band. She broke into a horrible cover of AC/DC's Shook You All Night Long. The second band was awful. Their lead singer wore a pink cowboy hat and was at least 45 years old. She looked like Roseanne Barr on trucker's speed and wore spandex pants. They were an 1980s cover band. They kept playing random songs from Journey. After each song ended, I'd scream, "Play more Journey!"

The Irish bartender was not amused with my cat calls.

"Please don't encourage them."

Even he had enough of their awful renditions of Journey songs. They played two U2 covers too. Joe Speaker was piss drunk and would shout out curses towards his soon-to-be ex-wife.

"She's a fucking liar!" he shrieked at one point drowning out the melodies of the Journey cover band.

The place had a decent amount of female talent. There's always a small percentage of jaw-dropping hotness in the women that populate LA. Joe Speaker was enamored by one woman sitting at the end of the bar. She looked like Jennifer Connelly and I had to walk up over to her to make sure it wasn't. The rest of the bar was packed with an interesting mix of music industry hipster types and pothead friends of the bands that were playing. One fucktard wore a plaid blazer, designer jeans, and a pair of $400 aviator sunglasses inside while he sipped on a vodka and Redbull. I wanted to punch him out on principle alone.

Change100 and I swapped turns all night long hitting up the bathroom for a toot or two as we fought through the crowd to get to the bathroom. I was too drunk to drive home, so Change100 took the wheel after we waited ten minutes for valet to bring us the car. I wanted to get donuts on our drive back to Beverly Hills. She never stopped. Boooooooooo!

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I wrote all afternoon yesterday on a rare rainy day in LA. Nicky and I took forever to decide on what to eat for lunch. We ended up at Swingers, a diner/coffee shop where I ordered chili cheese fries and a grilled chicken sandwich with cheese, bacon & avocado. Nicky ordered the jerk chicken omelet and a coffee. The waitresses that work at Swingers are kinda slutty and wear leather mini skirts and fishnet stockings.

Last week Nicky took me to Kings Road Cafe for brunch. Most of the places you'd eat lunch in LA are super crowded and not by people on their lunch hour. Instead, lunches are populated with LA slackers, trophy wives, out of work actors, and troubled writers. Those are the people who are actually free to sit out on the sidewalk and bullshit about nothing for two hours as they get served overpriced food and semi-decent coffee.

A woman sat down next to us at Kings Road and she looked like Diane Lane. In Hollyweird, you have to check twice because that person who looks like some famous more often than not is someone famous. That instance, it wasn't her. Diane Lane never would had carried around a fake Hermes handbag. After a closer examination of the stitching, Nicky determined it was a fake Hermes. The real deal goes for $8K. The Diane Lane look-a-like sipped on passion fruit iced tea and kept a close watch on her fake designer bag.

The meals I've been eating in LA have not been substantial. Even all that sushi last weekend wasn't filling. The most hearty meal was the big pasta dish that Change100 made for the Oscars. I've been craving a big meal. They are hard to come by out here. A bagel, a slice of good pizza. Anything.

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Last 5 Flicks I Watched:
1. The 40 Year Old Virgin
2. Capote
3. Bittersweet Motel
4. Crash
5. The Big Lebowski

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