Dear Paris Hilton,
Thank you for doing stupid shit and getting involved in wacky hijinks. Whenever you do, people... bored people... type your name in Google (with another keyword) and eventually they somehow stumble upon the Tao of Pauly. Sometimes they come back and just by being yourself, I get more hits every day. There are actual idiots out there who spend useless hours surfing the net for naked pictures of you, whacking off to Lindsay Lohan's breasts, or worse... reading my blog(s).
Buddha said that the "Enlightened soul is the clueless soul." For fuck's sake, even the bald fat guy would lose patience with you. Keep up the good work. The world needs more rambunctious, promiscuous, salacious heiresses. Your fellow obsessed, clueless Americans might actually put one in the White House.
Three cheers to you,
P.S. I think you're 100 times hotter than Nicky. But don't tell her I said that.
Merci, la chienne avide
The Last 5 Random Paris Hilton + Referrals from Google...
1. Paris Hilton + fat lip
2. Paris Hilton + shaved pussy
3. Paris Hilton + designer purses
4. Paris Hilton + flashing
5. Paris Hilton + licking feet