Tao of Pauly

Pauly's Week of Prep for the Grublog Classic

Editor's Note: The Grublog Poker Classic is tonight at 9pm!

Haley asked, "What the fuck is that under your pillow?"

I answered, "The Bible!"

I have been sleeping with Doyle Brunson's Super System under my pillow the last few nights. I hope the words from the Master himself will seep into my brain during my sleeping hours.

I have been running 10 miles each night and doing power yoga for no less than four hours a day. When I meditate, all I can envision are flops, flops, and more flops.

I have been taking notes from other bloggers... I decided to take the best of what I have read and apply it to my tourney prep. If I want to beat my fellow bloggers, I have to get inside their heads. Haley explained it to me... from an actor's standpoint... sort of like how method actors (such as Marlon Brando and Robert De Niro) prepare for a difficult role.

So in order to beat them in the first poker bloggers online tournament, then... I must become them!

For example, out a page of Iggy's daily diet, I am drinking Guinness like it's water. I have consumed enough Guinness in the last week that I could drown an entire tiny Japanese fishing village. I also ran up a huge tab at the Cedar Tavern so now I have to win the next two blogger tourneys if I want to pay off my bar bill by St. Patrick's Day. Oh, the Guinness... I have put on 10 pounds, the women that live in my apartment building seem a lot more attractive these days, but I feel more confident about going all-in with 10-9 off suit.

Right off of Grubby's site, I am following his diet. I am devouring Wendy's in a frenzied manner, much like Bill Clinton's weakness for donuts and interns. Frosty's taste awesome at 11am in the morning, especially when you dip your fries into them.

Like HDouble, I started memorizing EV charts and totally scrutinized all of my hand histories. Now I am dreaming about percentages. For example, during my last dream... I was on a beautiful sandy beach sipping a pina coloda with one of those pink umbrellas, when a leggy model walked up to me slightly dripping from a quick dip in the ocean. She is wearing one of those dental floss thin bikinis. Before I started talking to her, I realized, I had just a 4% chance of seeing her naked. So I folded!!

And yes, I took the Fat Guy's advice... "Get your war face on!" Alas, I have been watching continuous showings of Apocalypse Now and A Clockwork Orange... to pump me up for Sunday. I stole some of Haley's lipstick and marked my face with various streaks of L'Paige Chocolate and pink frosted... a cheap substitue for war paint... but I thought I looked fabulous! The boys from Queer Eye would have been impressed with blending of both shades.

Watch out. I'm pumped... drunk... and fired up for some poker!