Monday, October 31, 2005

STS9 Late Night Setlist

Courtesy of the Joker!

10.30.05 STS9, House of Blues, Las Vegas, NV

Set 1: New/improv, Murphy, Glogi, Ramone, Peoples, Grow, Untitled ("Instantly"), New/improv, Open E

Set 2: Orbital, What is Love?, Evasive > (long version), Kamuy, Move My Peeps, Arigato, Tokyo, Tap-In

Encore: Roy G Biv, Monkey Music > Moonsockets
Widespread Panic Vegoose Setlist

Widespread Panic played the main stage and closed out Vegoose. Trey Anastasio and Col. Bruce Hampton made special cameos. The boys started out smoking hot! Trey's jam was sickness personified. Chilly Water set closer was kick ass.

10.30.05 Widespread Panic, Vegoose, Las Vegas, NV

Set 1: Disco > Space Wrangler > Henry Parsons Died, Don't Wanna Lose You > Last Dance > Sleeping Man, I'm Not Alone > North, Ribs and Whiskey, Solid Rock > Give, Slippin Into Darkness* > Thin Air** > Jam** > Drums > Hatfield > Fixin' To Die***, Tall Boy > Chilly Water

Encore: Goin' Out West, None Of Us Are Free

Show Notes:
* featuring Steve Lopez & Trey Anastasio
** featuring Trey Anastasio
*** featuring Col. Bruce Hampton on vocals
More Vegoose Pics

The Flaming Lips rocked Day 2

Wayne from the Flaming Lips walked into the crowd in a giant plastic ball

Sunday, October 30, 2005

10.29.05 Phil Lesh and Phriends, Vegoose, Las Vegas, NV

Set 1: Playin' In The Band > Truckin' > The Eleven > Rueben & Cherise > Magnolia Mountain (Ryan Adams song), Unbroken Chain, Shakedown Street***, You've Got To Hide Your Love Away***, Sugaree***, Help On The Way*** > Slipknot*** > Casey Jones***

Notes: ***with Warren Haynes and gutiar and Sless on pedal steel


We had an awesome spot for Phil & Phriends only a few rows back from the front of the stage. Phil Lesh looked like he was having a blast. I caught Joan Osbourne nipping out when she was showed ont he big screen.

Shakedown Street was the highlight by far. I must say, The Eleven was pretty damn good as well. We wish we could have stayed for the entire set, but we had to head over to get a good spot for Beck.

10.29.05 Dave Matthews & Friends, Vegoose, Las Vegas, NV

Dave and Friends played at the main stage at Sam Boyd Stadium.

Set 1: Dodo, Stay or Leave, Trouble, So Damn Lucky, Oh, Up And Away, Save Me, Circles, Some Devil (solo acoustic), Jimi Thing*** > What Will Become of Me*** > Pantala Naga Pampa ***, Two Step ***, Tell Me Something Good, Gravedigger, Hey Bulldog, Rocky Mountain Way

Encore: Everyday (with Trey Anastasio), Bathtub Gin (with Trey Anastasio), Up On Cripple Creek, Thank You

Notes: *** Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds only

The Joker and I wandered in half-way after seeing an amazing performance from Beck. Dave Matthews and Friends was a nice way to end 10 plus hours of music on Saturday.

Saturday, October 29, 2005

Trey Anastasio Band 10.26.05 - Aladdin Theatre, Las Vegas, NV

Set 1: Air Said to Me, Sleep Again, Money Love and Change, Tuesday, Dark & Down, Drifting, 46 Days, Night Speaks to a Woman, Come as Melody

Trey Acoustic (Setbreak): Invisible, Ether Sunday (dedicated to his best friend), Pebbles and Marbles, Bug

Set 2: Shine, Goodbye Head > Mr. Completely, Low

Encore: First Tube

I don't have time for a full recap, but here's some random things.

Show started at 12:40am and ended after 3:30. I went with the Joker and we had seats in the next to last row of the Sec 200s. We were in the smoking section which rocked. Overall, the show was not as good as the one we caught at Red Rocks in August, but I was entertained.

Trey didn't start to get his shit together until Money, Love & Change. Other highlights in the first set included Drifting, 46 Days, and Night Speaks to a Woman, where Jen Hartswick's vocals brought down the house.

During the setbreak, the band took a break and Trey sat and played acoustic guitar. Pebbles and Marbles is a song that I prefer to hear arranged acoustically. Bug was special to hear and it's one of my favorite Phish songs.

Second set was rockin'. One guy in front of me was busting on Trey's band. "Phish would have smoked the hell out of this joint." He was right, but the band brought a better effort forth in the second set. Mr. Completely and Low here the highlights for sure. The lights and bubbles during First Tube were insane. It made it look like it was snowing.

The Joker joked around that the Trey posters we saw in the casino made it look like he was jerking off. For sure, Trey's recent efforts have resembled a huge on-stage masturbation session. He spooged all over the crowd and the licked up every single drop. A few kids even stored some away to sell on e-Bay. There have to be some spun out Phishy chicks would would love to have's Trey's artificially inseminated baby!

After the show, they unleashed the freaks into the casino and not even a horde of wookies, spun out phishkids, and hot hippie chicks could deter the attention away from degenerate gamblers who kept their heads down and focused on losing their money at the slot machines, while kids slung all sorts of drugs in the row of slots behind them.
Dave Matthews with Tim Reynolds, 10.28.05, Aladdin Theatre, Las Vegas, NV

Complied by The Joker

Seat 1: Intro > Bartender, What Will Become of Me, Save Me, Stand Up, Typcial Situation, Help Myself, Stay or Leave, ??, Wharehouse, Cry Freedom, Too Much, Two Step, Tim Reynold's Solo, Smooth Operator/Where Are You Going?, Jimi Thing, Old Dirt Hill, When the World Ends, Gravedigger, Crush, Dancing ???

Encore: Everyday, Satellite

The Joker and I got there early. Dave Matthews gets some primo pussy at his shows and there were tons of hot chicks. We drank steadily and I snuck into the bathroom to smoke some hash. I knew about less than 50% of the material, but I walked away impressed with Tim Reynolds.

Dave was telling awful Thunder from Down Under jokes the entire night. It was a good show and a great tune up for Vegoose. We knew the crowd would be a little cleaner and more mellow than the Trey crowd.

Friday, October 28, 2005

The Joker's Wild in Vegas

The Joker arrived in Las Vegas one day early so we could pre-party for Vegoose. Here's what we did so far:
  • Drank at Mandalay Bay's Isle Bar.
  • Played blackjack at Excalibur. I won $75.
  • Ate dinner and I stained my $50 dress shirt with buffalo chicken wing sauce.
  • Went to a strip club (Olympic Gardens) with Grubby & the Joker.
  • Got two lapdances from a Romanian chick who looked like Mena Suvari.
  • I farted in the face of a stripper when she went down on me.
  • Joker became smitten with a tall stripper who looked like Katie Holmes but she had bad teeth.
  • Poker Prof called me in the middle of a lap dance. The stripper got on the phone and told him that I'd call back.
  • I bought Grubby a lap dance from a woman who looked like a 1980s porn star. She kept grabbing his nipples and rubbing hs chest underneath his shirt.
  • Donked off $50 playing micro limit poker at the Excalibur in homage of the Joker's first ever stint at a poker table in Las Vegas.
  • Pointed out to the Joker the few hookers who were roaming around the casinos.
  • Lost several prop bets involving me trying to flick a McDonald's cup lid into a trash can.
  • 4:20am Krispy Kreme run.
  • I have spent almost $500 at strip clubs since last Wednesday.
  • I'm up over $200 gambling since I arrived in Las Vegas almost two weeks ago.
Later on Friday, we're heading to two concerts... Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds (at 8pm) and then Trey Anastasio Band (at Midnight). Both shows are at the Aladdin.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

Tao of Yahoo

I'm currently on the Las Vegas Strip and I was having dinner with my buddy, professional Keno player Neil Fontenot, and he was discussing the hardships of being a winning Keno player. It was an exciting conversation because there such an emphasis on Taoism these days. Neil pointed out that Keno is losing popularity because it is hard to pick all the numbers because the odds are against them. Neil embraces this fact because he is a nihilist and believes in nothing. He sometimes plays all the numbers.

My roommate Grubby, a professional minature golfer, called me in the middle of dinner and told me I needed to read Yahoo's home page because I was on the front page. And wow, there was the Tao of Poker mentioned on Yahoo because Oprah was discussing Taoism. Thanks to Oprah and Yahoo. But how the hell did I slip behind the Tao of Fuckin' Pooh as most popular Tao sites on the web?

Anyway, I would like to welcome all my new readers via Yahoo. If you want to read some good stuff, check out my archives (June & July) from this summer when I moved to Las Vegas and covered the 2005 WSOP. We also have a cool 2005 WSOP photo gallery.

You might want to read the Best of the Tao of Poker section. That's where I highlight my favorite posts.

Neil wants to get Grubby and myself to play low limit donkey poker at the Excalibur, where we will attempt to tilt the table. More stories to come, stay tuned.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Pieces of Pauly: A Sushi Run

What did I eat yesterday? For breakfast I drove over to Brooklyn Bagels for an Everything bagel with extra butter, an Asaigo cheese bagel and an iced tea.

For dinner, Grubby and I headed to Green Valley Ranch, which is a mere five minute ride from chez Grubby or the Hippie Hacienda which he just nicknamed. Grubby and I ate at Sushi & Sake for their $29 All-U-Can-East sushi. The have hot Japanese women working there who wear tight black dresses and black leather boots that go up to their knees. They give you a hot towel before your food comes and someone is alway stopping by to refill your drinks. They had strict rules though... whatever you order and don't eat... they charge you for a regular menu prices.

We decided to keep track of how much everything would have cost if we bought them during regular hours. Alas, we would have run up almost a $200 sushi tab in less than an hour. Yikes. The All-U-Can-Eat promotion was seriously -EV for Green Valley Ranch and extremely +EV for Grubby and myself. Grubby almost ordered deseret.

We ordered:
Edamame (2 servings): Steamed soy beans
Ebisu (5 servings): Tiger shrimp with cucumber and fresh seaweed
Ecstasy (2): Seared tuna with chef spicy sauce and shredded raddish
Deja-vu Roll (1): Tempura shrimp with avacado, and spicy tuna
Sun of the Beach (1): Salmon, cream cheese, and green onions wrapped with soy paper and atter fried iwith a spicy mango sauce
Spider Roll (1): Crispy soft-shell crab with cucumbers and masago.
Spicy Tuna Roll (1)

Nigiti Sushi (2 pieces each)
Unagi: Fresh water eel
Maguro (3): Tuna
Sake (2): Fresh Salmon

Plus some other stuff I forgot...
Here are some pictures:

The Ecstasy

Unagi, Sake, and Maguro


More Ecstasy


Sun of a Beach

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Tuesday's Gone

The Jets suck. Man, Vinny Testaverde desrves better than to be humiliated on National TV after those 3 fumbles in the first half of the Jets/Falcons MNF game. I watched in horror at the sports book in Green Valley Ranch, and had to leave in the 3rd quarter.

In less than a week in Las Vegas, I have lost about $140 playing poker. I only had one winning session, but never lost more than $100 at one time.

I had brunch on Monday morning at Le Cafe in Paris with my new blog crush Jaxia and her girlfriend SK. They bought me lunch... French Toast with bacon. It's always fun to spend time with people you have common interests in... I mean Jaxia loves playing poker and loves women. I happen to love both too. It some weird twist of Six Degrees of Pauly, I discovered that SK was childhood friends with Beano, one of my good friends from college. Small world, huh? Seriously, how random is that? I meet someone I played poker online with for the first time and her life partner lived across the street from a guy who was in my fraternity and I followed Phish around in Japan with.

I wrote all of Sunday night without sleeping and been writing for the last few hours. I expect to pull an all night session in order to try to catch up on all the work I have to do. I'm realizing that there's simply nnot enough time for me to squeeze life into my work schedule. Something needs to give. I need a break. Thank God Vegoose is coming in a few days!

Recent Writing Music...
1. Galactic
2. James Brown
3. Jimmy Cliff
4. Phish
5. The Radiators

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Saturday Night Twang in Vegas and Who's Going to the Bahamas?

Yesterday, I woke up early after a few hours of sleep and had to write a ton of stuff before my Party Poker affiliates freeroll late in the afternoon, where I finished in an unimpressive 212 out of 213. Ouch. My junk is still swollen from the bad beat.

Afterwards, Grubby and I headed to Sunset Station so he can pick up his weekly free gift. Grubby gets tons of free shit from the locals casinos. My favorite free item is a scale that he got, which I use everytime before I get into the shower. It's a reminder that I need to lose weight and exercise more.

The lovely Jaxia is in town and I got to meet another blogger for the first time. Since I know she reads both of my blogs almost everyday, I have to say really nice things about her! The easy part is that I don't have to fluff this entry up, because what I have to say is 100% true. Jaxia is what I call a "triple threat." She's smart, cool, and beautiful. Too bad she's taken, because I was smitten. I think it's the Texas accent. Cute girls with accents get me everytime, and twice on Saturdays.

Anyway, let me wipe the drool off my laptop and continue.

We met up for drinks at Mandalay Bay near the Sports Book. The last time I was there was on Monday with Grubby and Bobby Bracelet and the now infamous bathroom fucking scene unfolded. Last night, Grubby was playing $2/4 in the poker room with two of his female friends who live here that are just getting into poker. Jaxia was over at the Bellagio killing the $4/8 game and came down to meet me. She had no idea how far the Mandalay Bay was from the Bellagio, so she walked! That was impressive. Lucky for her it was not too hot outside.

I sat and had drinks with Jaxia after I got cold-decked on a video poker machine waiting for her arrival. We sat chatted for a few hours, mostly about non-poker things, which was refreshing. We jumped back and forth between a ton of random topics. Sometimes you meet a poker blogger for the first time and the conversation is 99% about poker. That's great sometimes, but these days, I'm getting so burnt out on poker that it was invigorating to discuss other common interests.

Jaxia has had an interesting life and I hope she'll submit a future story or two for Truckin'. She asked me about some specifics about the Redneck Riviera (I even pointed it out to her) and she told me a hilarious story involving a goat. Well, four actually. I'm hoping that she'll write up that wicked tale up... Jaxia and the Four Goats. I love a good goat story.

OK, what make people interesting to me are their odd quirks. I have plenty, too many to list in a blog entry. But Jaxia... the girl loves sugar. Grubby, his friends C & L, Jaxia, and myself went to the cafe at Mandalay Bay for some late night food. We counted how many sugar packets Jaxia used for her coffee. 12 for two cups. Sweet Jebus.

"Twelve fuckin' packets? Why don't you just do cocaine?" I suggested after I sipped her cup.

"Sugar is cheaper," she quickly answered.

I think I'm gonna start snorting sugar.
Sunday Morning Link Dump: Dog Fucking, Armed Clowns, Gwyneth Paltrow, and 6 Figure Strip Club Tabs

Sine I'm a big fan of strip clubs, it's natural that I blog about the exec who was sued for $241K tab at Scores in NYC. Now I don't feel too bad about dropping $300 this week at Sin.

Today's Kiera Knightly link of the day is a lukewarm review of Domino courtesy of Slate.

As a sports fan, a writer, and a semi-sports writer (I write for Fox Sports dammit!)... I laughed at this gem published in the NY Times ESPN Sports-Speak Is Increasingly Also Becoming Sports-Write.

File this one under: Man fucks dog, eh! Yeah, a Canadian man was arrested for sexually assulting the family dog.

This one was a horrifying read: Mother tosses her three kids into San Francisco Bay. I wonder if she'll slip in the Mother of the Year rankings?

Another Hollyweird acress is knocked up and not by me. Gwyenth Paltrow has a second bun in her oven. She named her first kid "Apple." Here are my suggestions for baby names:
1. Chair
2. Kiwi
3. Jameson
4. Legacy
5. Orange!
In a cheap shilling attempt, agreed to pay Allen Iverson's clothing fines this year after the NBA started a new dress code. Getting ready to fork over some $$$ guys, because The Answer has plenty of "bling!"

Wow, this reminds me of one of my acid flashbacks... Armed clowns rob donut store.

Bloggers pissed off at Google for the increasing splogs in their comments sections. What do you expect for free?

This next article reminded me what's great about NYC! No body can derail trains from schedule. Here's a bit:
One kid pulled a pair of black and red wires, probably computer cables, from his knapsack and left them dangling from the bag's side.

"Check this out," he told his friends.

The teen then placed the bag on the floor near the door to the next car. At Queens Plaza, the kid popped his head out of the car and told the conductor that there was a suspicious package on board the train.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are being temporarily delayed," the conductor announced moments later. "We are sorry for the inconvenience."

A man on the train, aware of the prank, jumped from his seat and snatched the kid's knapsack from the floor. He hurried to the door, pushed the kid out of the way, and hurled the bag across the platform. Textbooks, notebooks, pens and pencils, an iPod and strands of wire burst from the bag on impact.

"That's my bag," said the young man who planted the allegedly suspicious package, running after his belongings. "Are you crazy?"

"Not crazy, just tired!" the man answered before turning to the conductor in the booth.

"We found the owner of the unattended bag - false alarm," he informed the conductor, then jumped back on the train.
Congrats to the winner of Tao of Pauly's Crackhead of the Week.

Art Musuems were another casualty of Hurricane Katrina. The New Orleans Art Museum has to reduce it's staff. So sad.

Lastly, Joe Torre will be back for one more year of heartbreak as the Yankees manager. Let's hope he gets Bernie Williams back for one more year too!

Saturday, October 22, 2005

WPT Bellagio Final Table Random Pictures

You can read my "live blogging" update of last night's event at Tao of Poker.

Pauly with BJ at the announcer's table
(Courtesy of Foiled Coup)

Winner's shot

Bellagio chicks during the money presentation

I could see the water show from where I sat


They also give away a free chip set!

Friday, October 21, 2005

Friday in Vegas and Random Picture Dump

I spent most of yesterday tired as shit. I slept less than 3 hours on Wednesday night and was dragging ass all day. It sucked to have to drive to work today. I had to pick up a broadband card a few blocks from Grubby's apartment, which was fine, but I didn't want to fight light traffic en route to the Strip. Once I got to the Bellagio, I discovered that the poker tournament was moved from the Fontana Room to the actual poker room, which sucked because there was no real place for media to work.

I ate In & Out for a second time in three days. I ate chili and onion rings at the Bellagio snack bar for dinner, where I was holed up for a while with other media types. Day 3 of the tournament lasted almost 14 hours. Yikes. That's tough to handle on a full night's rest, let alone just 2.5 hours. I'm super exhausted, I can barely keep my eyes open.

The final table will be taped at the Bellagio at 7pm tonight.

Here's a random link to some pictures of Rachel Bilson, aka Summer from The OC. Yummy, yummy, yummy.

And before I go, how about some Jessica Alba pics?

Here's a random Las Vegas picture dump. You can click on the photos to enlarge them:

New York, New York

View from where I'm staying in Henderson

Bobby's Room: where the largest high stakes poker game in the world is held

The scoreboard

Bellagio Water Show

Paris Casino at dusk (left) and during the Bellagio's Water Show (right)

World Poker Tour hostess Courtney Friel during a photo shoot

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Happy Birthday Modeski!

One of my favorite people is celebrating a birthday today! I hope it's a good one Modeski!! One of my favorite memories wa swatching Modeski break dance in front of Wetlands at 4am after we closed out the club after a God Street Wine show.

I just got back from Sin, a strip club. I went with Grubby and Bad Blood. Oh man. I only spent time with two strippers but I must have dropped almost $300 on the two combined. One was a petite black gal from California and the other was a six foot blonde from Nevada.

Here are five hilarious things that Grubby said to strippers:
What CD do you have playing in your car/stereo?
How many cocks can you fit in your ass?
Will you give me a lap dance to a Tiffany song?
Do you workout at the Las Vegas Athletic Club?
How much were your implants?
Stay tuned for a new installment of Existetialist Conversations with Strippers.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Rainy Vegas

Yes, it finally stopped raining here in Las Vegas. Sweet Jesus! It had been raining since I got off my plane.

I spent all day yesterday working at the Bellagio covering a World Poker Tour event. I got to see a lot of old friends from the media that I spent a lot of time with this past summer covering the World Series of Poker. It's always great to catch up. Foiled Coup introduced me to a hot blonde cocktail server who was from Brooklyn. She also used to live in Park Slope, a few blocks from where I used to live. The poker tournament is held in the Fontana Room, which overlooks the Strip and Las Vegas Blvd. You can also see the spectacular water show every 30 minutes.

I ate at Noodles at the Bellagio yesterday for lunch with Poker Prof and Flipchip. The Seasame Chicken was yummy. For dinner I ate at In & Out Burger. Damn, I missed that place.

After work, I played poker at the Bellagio and I only won $30. I sat down for two hours at a $8/$16 table that included one guy in a wheelchair who could not see the flop because he had horrible eye sight. The dealer had to read out the cards to him every time. Aother guy was so drunk that he spilled drinks on the felt not once, not twice, but thrice! Then there was the hot chick who was nipping out the entire time. That's enough to get anyone on tilt. I sat next to the "cool guy toughster" who sported a barb wire tattoo and wore shades at the table. He looked like a total idiot but was actually a nice guy.

Tonight, Bad Blood comes to town and I'm gonna skip work early to go to strip clubs. Should be an epic time.

Grubby lives about 20 minutes door-to-door from the Bellagio, which is nice. I'm digging my rental car but I don't like driving in traffic. I've been listening to some kick ass discs that Daddy sent me.

Grubby has a scale in his bathroom. Of course, he's the Poker Grub so it's not weird that he'd have that! He got it free from one of the Station Casinos here in Las Vegas. I weighed myself before I got into the shower today and I was about 182. I peaked out at 195 at the end of last summer, so I've dropped about 10+ pounds since I left Vegas. I'd like to get down to 170-175 by the end of the year. I dunno if that will be possible! I'm gonna have to stop drinking beer and eating donuts again.

Off to work now. I'm gonna take more pictures today.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Bathroom Fucking

At 2:17am, while I was taking a shit at Mandalay Bay in the bathroom near the sports book, a couple walked into the stall next to me and started fucking. The bathroom floor was black marble and offered a perfect reflection. So I watched. She wore sandals and her toe nails were painted pink. She moaned and groaned and a few guys at the urinals made jokes. The boyfriend insisted that his girlfriend was just throwing up, especially when a security guard knocked on the stall door a few minutes later.

Just another late Monday night in Las Vegas.

My flight was delayed. It was raining pretty hard upon my arrival. My rental car has California plates and the drive to Grubby's apartment took less than 15 minutes. We grabbed dinner at Green Valley Ranch at a place called Balboa's. It's a 24 hour pizza joint. I got the chips with chili con queso and a pizza with spicy sausage. Our waitress was kinda cute. Here's an actual conversation that went down.
Pauly: Dude, what do you think about our waitress?
Grubby: I don't think she's good looking.
Pauly: I'd still fuck her.
Grubby: Well of course, so would I.
Later on Grubby said our waitress was married. He saw her ring. If I knew that, I wouldn't have given her such a good tip. I wanted to go play poker, so we met up with Bobby Bracelet at Mandalay Bay. We drank at the bar near the sports book and hung out for several hours.

That's it for now. I have to get up in a few hours to head over to the Bellagio for the start of the WPT event.

***** Update *****

6:01pm... I've been getting swarmed with responses over the bathroom incident. One dude walked up to me at the Bellagio and asked me a slew of questions about what went down last night. Here is one email in particular that sums up what a lot of you have been wondering!
Dear Sir:

With regards to your posting on 10/18/05 ("Bathroom Fucking"), I would like some additional details about this event. In speaking about this event with other readers of your blog, I/we have a few queries that I/we was/were hoping you could kindly answer:

1) How much time transpired when you were moving your bowels?
2) Did the party in the stall next to you ("The Couple") climax?
3) Do you know if they were "Clenching" (was he sitting on the toilet with an erect penis while she rode him either facing the wall or facing the stall door)? My friends and I assume that they were having reverse intercourse (commonly referred to as "doggystyle") but we would like a confirmation about this.
4) What sort of jokes were the gentlemen at the urinals making?
5) You mention that the floors gave a sort of reflection. Were you able to see breasts or other intimate body parts?

The answering of these questions would put our collective minds at rest. Please keep up the good work and I look forward to hearing back from you in a timely fashion.

-Warmest Regards,

Here's my weak attempt to answer all your questions, Brendan.

1. I was in the bathroom for about 7-10 minutes.

2. I'm prety sure no one came. Not even me. Although I think I popped a half-a-wood during all of this.

3. They were both facing the wall with the toilet. I guess you can say they were standing up and doing it doggie style.

4. One guy joked, "I'm sure she has an empty hole!" Another guy said, "Shotgun anus!" And yet another said, "I hope that's not two guys."

5. I got to see some ass, both the guy and the girl. She wore a jean skirt. She left first and the guy left a few moments afterwards. I managed to leave in between the both of them, so I saw her satnding outside the bathroom. She was shitfaced and kinda looked like Princess Fergie.

I hope that clarifies the situation for all of you.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Back to Las Vegas
"It's a world. And I'm just living in it." - Harvey Pekar
I got a couple of late birthday presents this past week. Molly sent me a nice care package from Texas. She included some authentic (and yummy) Mexican Sweatbread and some other trinkets like a dead scorpion and some sort of lizard bowl. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that she also sent me Raymi's book Dear Raymi. I already read it twice and jerked off seven times. By the way, there were no naked pictures in it.

Daddy sent me a shitload of discs including two shows from Phish's Island Run in 1998.... 4.3.98 and 4.5.98. It was perfect timing since I'll have a rental car over the next two weeks and will need some good tunes to get me through Las Vegas traffic. He also threw in some Keller Williams too from last year's All Good festival and a ass-kicking Lotus show, which I had been waiting to hear.

Yeah, in a few hours I'm going to the airport. I'm flying JetBlue out of JFK and heading to Las Vegas for the next 16 days. It's a mixed trip with both business and pleasure on the agenda. For the first 11 days I'll be working covering a World Poker Tour tournament at the Bellagio his week. Then I have to do some leg work for a new project which will take me all over Las Vegas for a few days. That should be fun, exploring the other parts of the city that I've never seen. I hope to pick up more writing material. Oh, and I'm not staying at the Redneck Riviera. I'm crashing with Grubby at his place in Henderson/Green Valley.

Then for the last five or six days I'll be partying it up and enjoying some kick ass music when Vegoose comes to Las Vegas! The Joker is coming in from Colorado for several days and it should be a blast since I missed out on a lot of shows this summer. I can't wait to see some of my favorite bands at the festival during the day and at late night shows on the Strip including Widespread Panic, Galactic, Phil Lesh, Trey Anastasio Band, Umphrey's McGees, The Meters, The Flaming Lips, Primus, G'ovt Mule, North Mississippi All-Stars, and Col. Bruce Hampton.

This past Saturday, I had a wonderful time at Gil and Elite's wedding. I even wore a suit and tie! The service was short and special. Everyone looked swanky and the bride Elite looked wonderful as always. Spider asked me to do a little filming, so I sprang into action as a backup camera guy. The wedding got to be held outdoors on a rooftop, which was key since it had been raining for almost ten straight days in the city. The reception was in a loft and I drank a ton and the food was excellent. I especially liked the roasted duck with cherries and the dates with melted goat cheese. The wedding cake include traditional cake along with chocolate cup cakes, which was the highlight of the entire wedding! Girtz was jonesin' to play some cards and poor Senor was tired. I got to answer a lot a questions about my recent travels to Amsterdam and Spain and what it's like to live in Las Vegas.

That's it for now. See you in Las Vegas!

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Sunday Morning Link Dump: Kill Katie's Career, Crackheads, Death Tattoos, and the World Series of Beer Pong

Tom Cruise ruined Katie Holmes career! It's not like she's done anything outside of Dawson's Creek.

I've gtten addicited to watching the Food Network recently. My favorite show is "30 Minute Meals" hosted by Rachel Ray.

If you like haunting photos (some about NYC) then take a peek at Boogie: Painful to Watch. The pictures of crackheads was worth it.

Speaking of crackheads, make sure you read Mary-Kate NYU dropout.

NYC dude gets "Last Rites" tattoo then proceeds to die! Freaky? Should we call in Agent Mulder to investigate?

I hope I get to cover the World Series of Beer Pong. There are rumors that AlCantHang is coming out of retirement to play.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Congrats Gil & Elite

Both Gil and Elite are getting married in NYC today. Should be a fun night especially since it finally stopped raining just in time for their nuptials! Best of luck guys.
Happy Birthday, Derek!

Today is my brother's birthday! Stop by Derek's blog and send him birthday wishes.

Yesterday, Derek started his celebration early by making the final table of the first ever Wil inaugural tourney on Poker Stars. Thanks to Wil for setting it up. Congrats to Joanne for winning it. And congrats to Maudie, April, and Columbo for making the final table. Poor Jaxia bubbled out.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Friday Link Dump: Meet the New Boss, Salami Penis, Lifeguard Nomar, Piss Drinkers, Coke Busts, and Kiera Knightly

Say hello to your new German Chancellor Angela Merkel. Maybe she can finally explain to me why her people are enamoured by David Hasselhoff?

Madonna trashes TV in a recent interview. She won'tlet her kids watch the boob tube. Yawn. I guess she doesn't want her kids to watch her awful movies like Who's That Girl?

This one is for Bobby Bracelet and his micro penis! Apparently, Russian oligarchs ready to pay millions for huge penises.

Nomah!!!! Holy shit. Nomar Garciaparra will soon join Baywatch after his heroics. He saved two women from drowning in Boston Haaaaaa-bahhhh.

Space Tourist Gregory Olsen is back home after a trip to the International Space Station. Lucky fucker.

In drug news...

US-Canadian-Spanish authorities bust huge cocaine smuggling ring. Damn Mounties just drove up blow prices!

Speaking of blow... Federalies found 13 bags of cocaine in Boy George's apartment. For fuck's sake George, that's a lot of friggin' coke!

File this one under: Only in Wisconsin! Man arrested after daughter eat's father's pot brownies! No rumors on whether or not she dropped out of school right away and decided to follow Phish!

Sons and Muggers is a review of a Elizabethtown and Domino from Slate. Kiera Knightly = yummy.

The blogger who loathed me is a funny and touching read from Salon about a writer who was constantly trashed by a blogger... and now he seeks his revenge!

Saage Love is one of my favorite parts about reading the Village Voice. In this week's column, a reader asks if he could fail a drug test by drinking contaminated urine?

Gothamist had a great post about the 1970s being the best decade for NYC movies. I happen to agree. Taxi Driver slays them all of course. Don't mess with Travis Bickle! Here are some of my favorites that made the list:
The French Connection (1971)
Shaft (1971)
The Godfather (1972)
Mean Streets (1973)
Serpico (1973)
Soylent Green (1973)
The Godfather: Part II (1974)
Death Wish (1974)
The Taking of Pelham One Two Three (1974)
Three Days of the Condor (1975)
Dog Day Afternoon (1975)
King Kong (1976)
Network (1976)
Taxi Driver (1976)
Annie Hall (1977)
Saturday Night Fever (1977)
Manhattan (1979)
The Warriors (1979)
My parting shot today is this hilarious headline... Jessica Alba Bakes with Convicted Felon.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

Last 5 Books I Saw People Reading on the Subway...

1. King Of The Night: The Life Of Johnny Carson by Laurence Leamer
2. The Holy Bible
3. Snow in August by Pete Hamill
4. Does She or Doesn't She? by Alisa Kwitne
5. Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul by John Eldredge and Stasi Eldredge
Where My Burrito? Wil Wheaton's Private Poker Stars Tournament

Guess what? Wil Wheaton is hosting a private tournament on Poker Stars on Friday!!! Here's the skinny:
What: WWdN Where's My Burrito? Invitational
Where: PokerStars
When: Friday, October 14th @ 4:00 PM EST
Password: monkey
Tournament number: 13722477 (Look under Private Tournament Tab)
Buy-in: $10+1
According to Wil, this is open to WWdN readers, Card Squad readers, and anyone else who know's the password is monkey. So if you wanna play against Wil Wheaton and some of your favorite bloggers then sign up today. It's only $10! If you don't have a Poker Stars account, simply download their software here.

Should be fun. I'm already signed up! See you at the tables.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Barhopping with Otis

(Editor's Note: Part One of this post is over at my poker blog. It has some pictures too. It's called: Poker Stars NYC VIP Party. You might want to start there first.)

Otis has an excellent post on his regular blog called Tuesdays with Pauly. Here's a bit:
"Pauly takes notes. His life is a yet-unproduced or written off-Broadway play about drug-addled strippers and strung-out stockbrokers. At first glance someone might think his notepad is some affectation to make him look serious about his craft. It's not that. It's that too much happens in his presence to remember it fully. What's more, life around Pauly is awash in carefully controlled but occasionally wild abandon intoxication. Failure to properly document the activities risks losing them completely.

Pauly takes notes. He takes pictures. He takes video. And I've appeared in a few too many recently."
I decided to head down to the East Village for some pizza and barhopping. I took Otis on his first subway ride and we took a short walk past Astor Place. I grabbed two slices (one plain and one with shrooms) something I should have done before I started drinking at the party. Drinking on an empty stomach is -EV.

First stop was McSorley's. It's one of the oldest bars in the city. I told Otis that they filmed a scene from Rounders in front of McSorely's and inside the bar. We got mugs of their famous beer which they brew in the city. $2 for a mug is a steal in the city.

Next up was a dive called Blue and Gold. I love that place. Elliot Smith used to hang out there before he killed himself. I used to play pool there with my buddies Senor, Gil, and Spider back in the day. I started drinking SoCo. At that point, I had two kinds of beers, vodka, and rum. Talk about a lethal combination that I would end up paying for later on in the night and all day today.

Big Bar is just a few steps away from Blue and Gold so it was a perfect stop for another drink. The third bar we drank at was super small with just a few seats at the bar. That's when things started to get fuzzy. Dial-a-shots went down and then I started to lose time in what alcoholic would call a moment of un-clarity.

We headed over to Telephone Bar. Here's how Otis described the events:
"The front of this bar looks like a telephone booth. Inside, it is much bigger. Pauly made me choose if I wanted to go in this bar or the one beside it. When I picked "Telephone," Pauly looked at me and said, "Fuck it, we'll go to both." And so we did."
They played a lot of Bob Dylan at Telephone which pleased Otis. The bar next door was an Irish Pub and we stumbled in there. I dragged Otis to Detour, which was bar #6. It's a small jazz joint that some friends of mine used to play at. I was there the first night it opened almost ten years ago. Those were some wild times and I once got laid in their bathroom with a woman I worked at the Metropolitan Museum of Art with. I forgot her last name, but at least I got to show her my "Oh! Face." It was the best twenty-seconds of 1995.

I barely recall going to the seventh and eighth bars... Kings Head Tavern and Shades of Green. But according to the notes that I gave Otis, that's where we went. At Shades of Green I excused myself and walked outside. In the middle of 15th Street I puked. I had not blown chunks since I christened Daddy's Sled in Indiana in May. I survived almost three months of living in Las Vegas, Boulder with the Joker, Drunk-o-lympics at Brad-o-Ween, a two day bender in Amsterdam with Briana, a wine-drenched week in Spain, the Bash at the Boathouse, and one of the craziest bachelor parties I've ever attended... without puking once. I guess I was due.

I went back inside and finished my drink before we hopped in a cab back uptown to Times Square. I said good-bye to Otis and I bought a water and a slice of poundcake at the nearest bodega. I took the subway home and passed out. The train went to the last stop (I get off at either one or two before) and I was woken up by a cop rattling his night stick on one of the poles. I stumbled home with a tote bag filled with Poker Stars goods like a straw hat and a deck of cards.

I spent all of Wednesday recovering from a nasty hangover and hugging the porcelin God of a toilet with dry heaves once an hour. I have not had a night like that in a few years. Large chunks of time are a blur. Today I'm trying to piece the night back together and I'm considering giving up the hooch altogether.

Wil called me tonight and said he was sorry he missed my call yesterday. And that's when I realized, "Oh shit, I called Wil!" He got a kick out of the message we left him. "Wil where are you, you fuckin' pussy?" Or something to that effect. Luckily Wil's a good sport and thought it was hilarious.

Just another Tuesday night bender in the city.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Tuesday Morning Link Dump: Yankees Suck, Wil Wheaton = Top 100 Blogger, Blowjobs for Laundry, and Gore in 2008

Well first of all, the Yankees officially suck. They lost last night's game which could mark the end of an era for the Yankees. Moose blew. Bubba sucked on that fly ball. And Randy Johnson decided to pitch a few days too late. It's gonna be a long winter. Here are some articles:
Yankees Crash in Anaheim (NY Times)
Yankees Are Facing Yet Another Winter of Discontent (NY Times)
For Fith Year in a Row, Yanks Have Hit the Wall (NY Times)
Rookie Steps Up, Delivers Angels to the ALCS (ESPN)
Yankees Hopes Set in West (NY Daily News)
Bronx Bunglers Collide in OF (NY Daily News)
In more NYC news... NYC Lowers Subway Alert, Faces Questions About Alert's Validity is from Gothamist. Was the alert really necessary and was it just PR move to get the mayor involved in a big press conference before the election?

There's a new Van Gogh exhibition at the Metropolitan Museum of Art featuring a ton of his drawings and sketches.

By the way, thanks to Jenna who pointed out this Craigslist gem... Do my laundry, get a blowjob! I dunno about this. If a chick is too lazy to do her own laundry, you know the BJ is going to be below average.

The Superficial had something else to say about Katie Holmes being knocked up by Tom. This gem made me chucke:
people have begun to speculate over whether or not the couple will follow Scientology's "silent birth" guidelines, which dictate that Holmes cannot talk or make any noise during labor, and cannot speak with the baby for the first seven days of its life.
In politics, the word on the street is that Al Gore is gonna run for President in 2008. Yawn.

Sorry Haley, but New Mexico is once again the dumbest state for the third year in a row. Nevada is 49th. Hmmmmm. People in Mississippi are rejoicing.

Good news if you are a pot smoker and want a job with the FBI. There are rumors that they are going to relax their marijuana policy.

By the way, congrats to Wil Wheaton for making CNET's Top 100 Blogs!

I love this story. Math teacher turns to hooking because teacher's salaries are too low. Only in Montreal! She charges $250 per hour. Nice. Here's a bit:
Working part time as an escort, the teacher said she was treated like a "real princess."

She dined in the finest restaurants along Saint-Laurent Blvd. and Vieux-Port, drank at Casino de Montreal and received an avalanche of gifts. Dawn was living the life she'd always dreamed of.

In addition to sleeping at the Ritz-Carleton, at the posh St. James Hotel in the Vieux-Port and at the Plaza, the teacher once went on a trip to Las Vegas with a client. The pair stayed at the MGM Grand and went to the most popular shows in town, including Celine Dion and the Cirque du Soleil.

"It was great -- I made heads turn," said the former teacher, who was paid $2,000 for the weekend.
If you enjoy eating contests like I do, then this is a gem... Cookie Jarvis wins grilled cheese eating contest. He downed 19.

If you want to file for bankruptcy, you better hurry up before new laws begin which makes it harder to file for Chapter 7.

With the news of the big earthquake near the India-Pakistan border, the trecherous mudslides in Guatemala are being overlooked.

Has Google Peaked? is an interesting read from Slate. Google's stock is now at $300 per share. I wonder of they can still corner the search market?

Reality TV is in a decline. No shit. But it's newsworthy according to the NY Times.

Post Teenage Wasteland is another excellent read from the NY Times Sunday Magazine. It's written by Ann Hulbert and she discusses trouble folks in their early 20s. I survived mine thanks to vicodin, vodka, and cocaine.

Wow. I can't believe that my parting shot is an actually link up to Wonkette! Alas, go check out Smurfcast in Europe. It's an adult episode of the Smurfs that have them searching for dead bodies during a war. Gripping and odd.
Pieces of Pauly

What did I eat yesterday? I was under the weather and only had an English Muffin with light butter and orange juice. For dinner I ordered Chinese food and had the Chicken in Garlic sauce with white rice and some orange Gatorade.

Monday, October 10, 2005

I Used to be Sneezy, Now I'm Doc

The weekend came and went without a ray of sunlight in the big city. It rained most of Friday and all of Saturday before taperng off to a grey, gloomy, and chilly Sunday. I was bogged down writing as much as I can before I return to Las Vegas in one week for a two week trip that will include a week of work at the Bellagio and a week of playing poker and attending some kick ass concerts for Vegoose. I sacrificed sleep to write and worked on several freelance articles (two player profiles and a revew of a popular online poker site), my current blog project (content proposal), and my untitled Las Vegas book. I also edited a couple of Truckin' stories for the upcoming issue. I wrote a small update about Vegoose along with something about UNLV football.

I woke up super early today to write a post for my poker blog called The Tao of Risk. I was pumped when I was able to drop in "Opportunistic Flexibility in Adapting Strategies and Tactics to Situations."

I must say that I am pleased with my writing output and the qaulity of my writing over the past two or so weeks. Obviosuly, I wish I had more time to write more, but the words seem to be flowing freely and I'm usually my own harshest critic. Right now I'm in the middle of a nice binge and I want to close out the week with some of my best stuff to date.

This weekend marked an ugly day for my fantasy leagues. Uncle Jodd's Band suffered it's second consecutive losing week in the Lamont Jordan Fantasy Football League. Sure the week is not techincally over, but it appears that we'll slip to 3-2 after a stellar 3-0 start. Ouch. My team Split Open & Melt managed to win team of the week in the Pauly's Pub College Football Pool. So that was cool.

I played a little poker this weekend and dropped $120 one night. I also played in a tournament that got cancelled mid-way when Party Poker had server troubles. I got my money back and a few bucks on top of that. I was hoping to improve upon a decent finish in a similar tournament I played in on Thursday when I finished in 71st out of 1615 and made the money. If I can get all my writing done early today, I'd like to sneak on and play some more.

On Sunday, the NY Jets surprised a lot of folks with a 14-12 victory over Tampa Bay and the best defense in the NFL. Vinny Testerverde is like 50 years old and he managed to get the job done as the Jets picked up a big win. Curtis Martin scored two TDs depsite only have 59 yards rushing.

On Sunday night, the Yankees even the series with the LA Angels at 2-2 with a huge 3-2 come from behind win at Yankee Stadium. The game on Saturday was rained out and after last night's game both teams flew across the country to get ready for tonight's decisive Game 5. During the first five innings, we were treated to an old fashioned pitchers duel. Shawn Chacon and John Lackey kept both teams in check until the Angels hit back-to-back RBI doubles against Chacon in the top of the 6th.

The Yankees rallied back for a run in the bottom of the inning on an RBI single from Gary Sheffield, but waited until the bottom of the seventh that the Yankees tied the game and eventually took the lead on a bang-bang play at home plate when Jorge Posada sneaked underneath the tag from Benji Molina. Mo Rivera came out and picthed the 8th and 9th innings to seal the victory and force a Game 5 in California. It all comes down to Mike Mussina against Bartolo Colon tonight.

The game also marked the possibilty of Yankees fans seeing Benrie Williams in pinstripes for the last time.

Recent Writing Music...
1. The Flaming Lips
2. Radiohead
3. Phish
4. Miles Davis
5. Thelonius Monk with John Coltrane
Pieces of Pauly

What did I eat yeaterday? Breakfast was an Everything bagel with extra butter. Dinner was a bacon cheese burger with mushrooms and waffle fries from the diner. I managed to drink a lot of Orange Gatorade too.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Recent Writing Music...
1. Wayne Shorter
2. Trey Anastasio Band
3. Vida Blue
4. Miles Davis
5. Galactic
Sunday Morning News Dump: Howard Stern, Goat Fucking, Transvestites, Boy George Cocaine Snafu and Moonshine Busts

I found 16 blogworthy stories out of a gajillion. Here's the best of the best.

Thousands are dead after a huge 7.6 earthquake hits the India-Pakistan border. Many more are feared to be dead.

Scrambling to Fill a Vacancy After Howard Stern is from the NY Times Arts section. Heh. They are trying to figure out who will step in since Stern bolted for Sirius Satellite Radio.

Karma-cocaine. Boy George Busted for Cocaine and Kate Moss was not involved. Here is Gothamist's take called Boy George: Cocaine Chamelon.

A bunch of suits that don't live in NYC said that Sunday (today) was the day terrorist planned to attack the NYC subway system before that plan was thwarted.

On of my favorite writers Neal Pollack riffs about the baseball playoffs in a piece called Days of Braves and Padres.

Girls Gone Wild is an interesting read about how Ariel Levy asks why so many young women today have embraced a raunchy, porn-drenched sexuality. Can I get their numbers?

In moonshine and bootlegging news... The Stills of Old Virginny had me cracking up when two dudes in overalls were busted.

Togo schoolgirls get heads shaved after their teacher got pissed off that the girls spent too much time playing with their hair. I wonder what would have happened if she caught me jerking off? Would she make me shave my pubes are would she just cut my entire cock off?

This made me laugh... Golf Club In Caddy Harass Suit: Man dubbed "ball-less wonder" after losing matches to female. That's funny on so many levels, right Noonan?

NYC has a Hurricane Evacuation Plan. Nice to know.

In more Hurricane News, a Hurricane Katrina victim won $1.6 million jackpot on a slot machine in Louisiana.

How the City Sank is an interesting read from the NY Arts section about the aging city of New Orleans and what old American city will be the next to fall.

This is one smart dude, eh? Canadian Genius figures out how to fly free for the rest of his life. Why can't I come up with ideas like that?

In animal fucking news... a teen was caught with his pants down fucking his neighbor's goat. It wasn't Daddy.

I love a good transvestite story. Man Allegedly Pays Transvestite Prostitute With Stolen Check and a ruckus ensues. Hell hath no fury like a tranny scored with a rubber check.

Lastly, Tony Pierce has a great post about the head honcho at Blogger stepping down.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Phish and New Orleans Hurricane Relief released two Phish shows from New Orleans with proceeds going towards Hurricane Katrina Relief. The new download has the entire April 26, 1996 performance at the Fairgrounds at the New Orleans Jazz and Heritage Festival. I wasn't there, but Senor was and said it was kick ass. If you don't know Phish was not asked to return to Jazz Fest because Phisheads took over parts of the city and turned the side streets into a lot scene when thousands of fans showed up without tickets.

The second show mentioned is a filler that contaons the entire second set from November 7, 1991 at Tipitina's with special guests from Col. Bruce Hampton and the Aquarium Rescue Unit.

Here's the track listing:
Set One:
Ya Mar 7:56
AC/DC Bag 7:08
Sparkle 3:50
Stash 10:35
Cars Trucks Buses 5:11
You Enjoy Myself 16:49
Wolfman's Brother 3:52
Scent of a Mule 11:17
2001 5:02
Harry Hood 12:34
Sample in a Jar 4:54
A Day in the Life 4:24
David Bowie 14:59

Hello My Baby 2:06
Cavern 5:12

FILLER: 11/7/91 Set II Tipitina's

Brother 5:34
Bouncing Around the Room 3:40
My Sweet One 2:18
Reba 11:08
Tube 3:18
Horn 3:41
David Bowie 14:03
Take The A-Train 4:12
Love You 7:50
Possum 9:14

Fee 5:06
Rocky Top 4:11

Lawn Boy 2:50
Fire 4:46
I snagged my copy already and it's some good ass Phish. 1996 is an under rated year for the boys. Here's proff that they shredded it up.
Subway Threat

Mixed messages. That's all I'm getting out of this... City Cites NYC Subway Terror Threat.

The NY Daily News reported that there was a terrorist plot to attack our subways with baby carriages and briefcases that contained bombs in the most specific threat ever made against the city. That caused everyone to go a little wacky yesterday in the biggest show of police force in some time.

Of course the NYC subways are a target. That was one thing I wanted to see more secure in the city since 9.11 and it wasn't until the London Bombings that the powers to be finally decided to take more brash measures. But turning subway stations in airport check-in lines seems like a weak attempt to keep up an illusion of safety. There's a vast difference between traveling in Europe than in America and it has a lot to do with shorter check-in lines at security check points. Does that mean America is safer than Europe?

Will the new show of force deter a potential future subway bomber? Not one bit. But I aprreciate the effort. Now I'll have to do a better job hiding my stash from the federalies. If anything, this threat really hurts the average pot smoker.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Last 5 Random Google Referrals...
1. Lindsey Lohan Car Crash
2. Katie Holmes pregnant
3. Phil Hellmuth Union Square illegal NYC card room
4. Pics of crack whores
5. Do professional exotic dancers get erections while performing their jobs?
Bun in the Oven

The skies are dark and grey in my world. I just found out that another Hollyweird starlet was knocked up... and not by me. Check out what my second favorite NYC socialite, Mui, had to say about the latest dish about Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise. Even Al Cant Hang is pretty bummed out. He was the first person to clue me in.

I can best sum up my thoughts in this tearful letter I penned....
Dear Katie,

You blew it. You could have gotten knocked up by me and I would not have made you convert to my cult, er religion. Where I might lag behind Tom in boyish good looks, I make up for in height and girth.

First you ditch Dawson. Now this. We all thought this Tom & Katie thing was a nice publicity stunt, something concocted by your PR reps. We all went along for the ride like it was some really bad April Fools joke. But now, this joke has reached absurd levels.

My heart weeps for thee,
First the Yankees lose Game 2 and now this. Ouch. It's been a rough last 12 hours in my world. Time to seal the windows, turn on the gas, and read Sylvia Plath.

Blogosphere is going Katie & Tom wacky today. Here are the highlights:
The Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes Baby Aftermath (A Socialite's Life)
Tom Cruise Gets Katie Holmes Pregnant (The Superficial)
Katie Holmes' Virgin Birth (Defamer)
TomKat Stab Baby Shocker! (Gawker)
Celebrity Betting: Naming the Fetus (OddJack)
Tom & Katie Expecting a Baby (People)
Random NYC Things

I witnessed two cabs collide during a rain storm near the Empire State Building last week and forgot to write about it. Both were carrying pasengers who weren't hurt but pretty pissed off.

I saw one of the hottest chicks in a long time on the subway. She was on the shuttle from Times Square headed to Grand Central Station and she was eating Cheese Doodles.

I was in a gypsy cab with Senor and he refused to give him change of a $50 bill. The ride was $20 and the guy thought we were trying to scam him. He eventually gave Senor the correct change. If you don't know $50 bills are bad luck for gamblers.

My favorite bagel store is closed for the Jewish holidays. I was jonesin' for a bagel the last two days.

I saw people handing out free issues of Metro near a subway station. I also spotted people handing out local issues in Amsterdam near Dam Square and again in Barcelona when we got off the train from Sitges to Barcelona.

On Saturday, we ate at Le Souk in the East Village to start off il's bachelor party. It's Middle Eastern food and I was digging the lamb sausage. They have beds where you can smoke hookahs and order food and drinks there. Senor thought the bartender downstairs was pretty hot.

Yesterday, I was stuck sitting in my mom's apartment while I waited for the plumbers to arrive. They said they'd be there at 8:30am which meant 11:30am in reality. There was a leak in one of the pipes in the apartment upstairs and my Mom's bathroom wall was leaking all weekend. They had to rip open the ceiling and remove the pipe that was about 50 years old. It had a hole in it the size of a quarter and another smaller hole the length of a matchstick. I sat in the living room and got my ass kicked on Party Poker while they tore up the bathroom.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Productive Tuesday

Yesterday was one of those rare days when I was in the zone as a writer. I made a TO DO list and cranked out the majority of items on said list. OK, I avoided the "phone calls" which I had to make, but as far as writing goes, I crushed all those assignments. I wrote two freelance articles and one of them is actually pretty good. I also wrote for two hours in a "free write" and then I added another two hours of work towards the new Las Vegas book. I spent some time working on the new issue of Truckin' and even added posts to my Phish blog and Pauly's Pub.

All my email backs up when I travel and I finally caught up a little. I dedicated an hour on Monday and an hour on Tuesday to aswering everything. I'm still a tad behind, but at least what's left is manageable.

I also squared away rental cars and travel plans for the remainder of the year. That's always a hassle.

So far it's juts a little past 9am. I've already gotten two hours of writing in and updated two of my blogs. It's been a decent start to Wednesday and I'm hoping to knock off everything on my To Do list for today.

Recent Writing Music...
1. The Rolling Stones
2. The Grateful Dead
3. Ben Harper
4. Eric Dolphy
5. Beck
Wednesday Link Dump: UFOs, Katie Boobs, Goodbye to McHales and Seattle Lapdances

In NYC news...

A historic bar is closing because the owner sold his building for $30 million. Say good-bye to McHales. It's been featured in plenty of movies including one of my favorite Ed Burns' flicks... She's the One.

By the way, Big Brother is always watching... traffic in NYC. The folks over at Gothamist are addicted to DOT web cams.

In Tom & Katie news...

Yeah, Tom Crusie and Kaie Holmes are still at it. maybe it's true love after all? O rmaybe Katie has a new flick coming out? By the way... First Daughter totally sucked. But Katie Boobs was in a bikini for one scene.

In gambling news...

This could be good news for degenerate gamblers in Mississippi... Onshore Casinos Approved in Mississippi. In the past, casinos had to be "river boats" and out on the water. Hurrican katrina proved what that's a horrible idea.

In actual news...

The hunt for the most recent Bali bombers is still under way and officals fear that more attacks on soft targets are planned.

By the way... who the fuck is Harriet Miers?

In news of the weird...

I think there was a Senor sighting in Pennsylvania this weekend... a crazy man exposed himself to fast food patrons then sat down and ate someone's food.

Some people live their lives in a closet. Some Russians live in fridges. This guy has lived in one for 15 years.

The numbers are low and the Germans are pissed. The volume of beer consumed at this year's Oktoberfest is way down from previous years. they should have invited StB to get their numbers up.

Here's one reason why I'll never move back to Seattle.... they are considering banning lap dances in strip clubs.

There was an UFO sighting in the Midwest. The Man insists it's a meteor. Agent Mulder and the Cigarette Smoking Man think otherwise.
October Glory

Last night marked the first of what I hope will be many long nights in October. My home town team, the Yankees took the first step towards regaining pinstripe glory with a 4-2 victory over the California Anaheim Los Angeles Angels.

The Moose was loose!

Mike Mussina looked excellent in his six innings. He was getting a lot of first pitch strikes to batters and he's tough to beat when he's ahead in the count. Moose's stellar pitching performance was much needed from the Yankees. Add Robinson Cano's huge bases clearing double during a two out rally in the first inning and that ended up being all the Yankees needed to take a quick 1-0 lead in a short series against the Angels.

Sure Mo Rivera almost blew the save and made it interesting over the last inning, but he closed the door and the Yanks won a crucial Game 1. I liked the fact that the Yankees started Bubba Crosby in CF instead of Bernie Williams and had Bernie as the DH.

Of course, the Red Sox lost to the White Sox earlier in the day which is always elating and the Cards also took a 1-0 series lead. Tonight, the Yankees and Wang need to pick up one more win before they return home to the Bronx on Friday and have Randy Johnson pitch.

In today's action David Wells tries to even the score for the Red Sox in Chicago against Buehrle. And the Astros and the Braves play Game 1. I'd like to see a St. Louis Cardinals and NY Yankees World Series. What can I say, I'm an old school kinda guy.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Last 5 Books I Saw People Reading on the Subway...
1. The City of Falling Angels by John Berendt
2. The Holy Bible
3. Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman
4. Who Moved My Cheese? by Spencer Johnson
5. Blue Smoke by Nora Roberts
Radio Free Pauly and WSOP on ESPN Tonight

I was in horrible shape and still drunk when I taped my interview with Sean & Headhunter Mark on Sunday morning for the Lord Admiral Card Club Radio Show and Podcast. If you don't know by now, it's the best podcast dedicated to poker in the universe and I was wicked hungover after an all-night bachelor party here in the big city.

I'm no Joey Jeremiah, but over the last several months, I've become a huge cult figure in Canada thanks to Cinci Sean & Brent Stacks. As always, I'm happy to be a part of their amazing show. Sean and Brent are working hard every week in Toronto to get their podcast done (for free) so stop by and show your support.

I had a tough time hearing Sean during the taping, so comedy ensued. We discussed a bunch of things in a short ten minute interview about my trip to Barcelona, my current book project, and Truckin'. My interview begins at 16:00 of the podcast.

You can download the MP3 of this week's show... Episode of 46: Here. (Right Click and Save As)
You can download the MP3 of last week's show... Episode of 45: Here. (Right Click and Save As)

If you want to catch up and listen to previous episodes, please visit their archives over at Brainscat. Stop by Card Club at Lord Admiral Radio and check them out. Thanks again to Sean and Stacks and Mark for having me on.

Moving on...

Tonight marks the last night that ESPN will be airing non-Main Event stuff. Here's what they will be airing:
Event #28: $5K Limit Event (Tao of Poker Live Blogging)
Recap Event #28 (Las Vegas and Poker Blog)

Event #31: 5K Short-handed NL (Tao of Poker Live Blogging)
Recap Event #31 (Las Vegas and Poker Blog)
The Short-handed Event #31 features Doyle Brunson, Minh Ly, Layne Flack, Scotty Nguyen, and Jason Lester! You know who wins that one right? And Event #28 features... a former professional athlete, an actor, a mother of four, the son of a famous poker player, a law student, a small business owner, a magazine publisher, and a seasoned tournament veteran who's seeking his first bracelet. Seriously, it's another great final table including Annie Duke, Joe Sebok, John Phan, and Greg "FBT" Mueller. Oh and that dude from Welcome Back, Kotter is also in it.

Be sure to visit Flip Chip's 2005 WSOP Photo Gallery. Also take a peek at the Poker Prof's extensive 2005 WSOP tournament results page.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Back to the Tao

Life in unpredictable. That's just the way it is. I stood up on a TV set in Barcelona, Spain and had mini panic attack that lasted about five seconds. I never announced a poker tournament before and there I was, sweating my ass off under the hot lights. A professional British TV was shooting the European Poker Tour and the final table was being played in front of an audience of a couple hundred people. A very attractive blonde production assistant with a headphone and clipboard gave me a steady stream of instructions and she reassured me at the same time. I had one of those "how the fuck did I get here?" moments and nearly lost my shit. That's when I somehow grabbed control of my anxiety and said, "You're here. Have fun. Enjoy the moment." And after a deep breath, I got my shit together and finished my announcing duties.

Life is unpredictable. It's ironic that I was paid a lot of money to be a bond trader and a stockbroker at two points in my life. Clients trusted that I had some extra knowledge about the future and willingly gave over their life savings for me to invest with like I was some sort of fortunate teller in a Brooks Brothers suit. I also tended to gamble heavily over the last decade and a half, mostly on sports betting where I would attempt to predict the immediate future. Sometimes I won. Most of the times I lost, but in the end I found myself slightly ahead. Since most gamblers are long term losers, I'll take a mediocre career record any day.

When I started blogging, I had no idea what I was doing nor the impact that some of my words would eventually have. It just happened. Almost four years ago, I got in contact with an old classmate. He was a writer living in Florida. Dave "Skippy" Simanoff told me that I should start a blog. When he explained to me what blogs were, I was curious. His blog was the only one I read for a while and I eventually found other ones. I figured that my interest in my "blog project" would fizzle out but began one anyway. My friends would get a nice laugh out of it and eventually me interest would disappear and my energies would be put into other projects.

I had vision of a mega site that would be a place to host a gallery of my paintings, short stories, poems, and personal photographs that I took. My original place on the web was a free homepage on "Hotbot". It got bought out by some higher entity and I lost my free hosting. That place used to be home to my Japan Phish Tour trip reports and photos. And I constructed the entire fucker on dial up. It used to take five minutes before every page loaded, but at the time, I was something I was kinda proud of after I put my best HTML skills to work. Compared to what I'm doing today, that site was so basic and backward. But I never thought I would be updating something regularly and that would end up as a launching point or my career.

So Skippy told me to start blogging and I did. My brother and my friends liked it and some of them came back everyday. So I kept updating everyday. It was easy since I worked six or seven days a week and I was constantly in front of a computer. It was my way of taking a coffee break at work. I'd open up Blogger and flush out my thoughts at the time. I found that I spent less time discussing personals tuff and more time posting links to articles or joke or other wacky stuff that gets passed around in mass emails. Instead of clogging my friends inbox with 18 emails a day, I used the blog as a place for them to find that stuff.

I also decided to start Truckin'. I always wanted a website where my friends could post and share their own favorite personal travel stories. And with the advantages of that logger offered, I started a second blog. Truckin' was born and I honestly feel that it has the most potential to grow into something big. Right now, it's readership grows steadily with each issue, but it still has not gotten the amount of traffic that the Tao of Pauly or the Tao of Poker get on a regular basis.

Art evolves. People change. My life took on a few different turns. I lost my job on Wall Street and found myself writing more than ever but still unemployed. I hit rock bottom at one point and I turned to poker and lived off of my winnings. That probably wasn't the best thing for me to do at the time, but I somehow got out ahead. With poker being a part of my everyday life, it was inevitable that I'd write about it more. The mutiny began and devoted readers to this blog pleaded with me to start a new blog. Thus, the Tao of Poker was born. No one expected that it would grow into one of the more popular poker blogs and would get me a job where I travel all over the world and write. Life is unpredictable.

Of course with poker came a flourishing freelance writing career. Poker is in the middle of a huge boom. There's plenty of money to made with poker and businesses related to poker. That's where I came in. I understand fully that I am being used by people to make money for themselves. But I'm cool with that. Without poker, I would not have been able to start pulling myself out of a deep hole I got myself into. I paid down my second credit card a few weeks ago and I officially celebrated the fact I no longer carried any debt to those shylocks. I since then threw a few purchases on there like Trey tickets and Vegoose tickets but it's minimal compared to the five figure debt I used to have. I also paid off the Government and paid all my previous back taxes. I still owe money on a few school loans, but that's it for now. Hopefully that's my next financial undertaking... to pay that off completely.

With so much of my work dispersed over the web, it gave other future employers to see my writings and offer me work. I just recently updated my resume for the first time in over a year. Why? I was fortunate not to have to send out resumes to find work. People had been contacting me and mostly every job I was offered in the past year happened without a resume or a face-to-face interview. My writing and my blog was enough to persuade them to hire me. Today, I'm at a point where I'm consistently turning down work assignments. I'm simply too busy with projects. The good part to that is I was able to get other friends and my brother some freelance work. I know there's going to be a time when I'd kill to have the work. But for now, I'm the most busy I've ever been. Add to the mix a rigorous traveling schedule, and it's been a tough last few weeks for me. And it's gonna get worse.

So here I am on a Monday afternoon and I cranked out an article already today. I have a huge "To Do" list and I'm slowly making my way through it. One of the things I highlighted was "Back to the Tao" which meant I was going to spend one hour writing up this post. At this point, I got 10 more minutes left, so I better finish things up.

So how about a quick update on what's been going on...


I'm swamped with work. As soon as I get something done, I have another mini-project to work on. I just published the last issue of Truckin' and I got a bunch of stories to edit for the next issue.

Jen Leo also asked me to contribute a short story for a book of travel stories that will be published next year sometime. I chose Nagoya and re-worked some of it. Just a few minor changes. I'm hoping it will make the final cut. If it does, Senor and I will become immortalized in a book and our Japan hijinks will be documented. Maybe I can turn that short story into a book idea?

I joined a creative team called Massive Impact Productions after I met a great guy named Michael Friedman who writes for Poker News. He invited me to be an integral part of his team and we have a pretty cool project in development. If it works out, I'll have a tremendous opportunity to do some more writing. Its going to be a lot of work but I'm looking forward to something new and different.

I've been writing freelance pieces for a few places. I still do my regularly online columns over at Professional Poker and Poker Magazine. I've been picked up by two print publications... the UK Racing Post and Poker Pro magazine. I'll be writing a poker tournament column for Poker Pro and I'm doing "Postcards from the USA" for the UK Racing Post.

I'm still writing for Poker Player Newspaper and over at The Poker Prof is working on a new project that I can't wait for him to unveil, which should happen shortly. In the meantime, I'm still a contributor over at Las Vegas and Poker blog.

I completed up a book proposal before I left for Europe and I sent it to my contact Dan who's giving it to a few suits at Sports Publishing LLC. They published Tales from the Tiltboys which features Phil Gordon. I'm also going to be sending a few more out before I head off to Las Vegas in two weeks. I'm currently trying to take an hour or two every day to work on my new book. It's been difficult to find chunks of free time to write with my work and travel schedule.

Oh, yeah. I'm going back to Las Vegas to cover a WPT tournament at the Bellagio and take in the Vegoose music festival with the Joker. I can't wait for both.


In the past six weeks I have been in Las Vegas, Colorado (Denver & Boulder), South Carolina, New York City, Atlantic City, Malvern, PA, Amsterdam, Barcelona and Sitges, Spain. My schedule is packed through next Spring. For the rest of the year here's where I'll be:
Now - Oct. 16: NYC
Oct 17-Nov 2: Las Vegas
Nov 3-Nov 12: NYC
Nov 12-Nov 21: Foxwoods CT and Providence, Rhode Island
Nov 22-Nov 29: NYC
Nov 30-Dec 1: Las Vegas
Dec 2-Dec 4: Los Angeles
Dec 5-Dec2 3: Las Vegas
Dec 23-Dec 31: NYC
I have to wait until next year to go back to Europe. Denmark, France, and Monte Carlo are stops on the EPT and I'd like to go to two of them.


I can't wait for Vegoose at the end of the month. I even wrote a short bit about Vegoose over at Some of the late night shows seem like they're gonna be epic. The Joker and I have tickets to Trey Band, Widespread Panic (on Halloween), and Sound Tribe Sector 9. We're trying to get Galactic tickets as we speak. Should be a nice little bender of music and debauchery ending on Halloween.

I've been listening to Comes A Time: A Tribute to Jerry Garcia featuring members of the Grateful Dead with Warren Haynes and Trey Anastasio on guitar! Pretty cool stuff and I've been writing to it all afternoon. Warren Haynes did a kick ass version of Stella Blue.

I scored tickets to Trey Anastasio Band for a show at Roseland Ballroom and one in Wallingford, CT. I also got Galactic tickets for their stopover in NYC.

Books, Movies and TV

My reading has slowed down substantially. I've been reading Ace on the River by Barry Greenstien. I'd read the completion of Tales from the Tiltboys when I was in Europe. I need to add some non-poker literature to the mix.

I caught a few flicks on flights to and from Europe including Mr. and Mrs. Smith and The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Both were better than expected. It seems that I see more movies in theatres when I'm in Las Vegas. Grubby always gets free previews so I'll probably catch one while I'm out there.

Since Derek got TiVO, I caught up on watching The O.C. and all of this season of Entourage. Damn, that show rocks. TiVo is great to have since I'm hitting the road again in a few weeks. We also taped old episodes of the WSOP finals from the mid-1990s where the production value is very low and Gabe Kaplan announces.

Fantasy Football and the Yankees

Uncle Jodd's Band, my fantasy team with Derek and Senor was in first place after a 3-0 start. We slipped to 3-1 after an awful week. Plus Michael Vick got hurt again. Dammit.

The Jets are toast. Vinny is still color blind and the Jets are doomed.

The Yankees need to keep up their excellent play. They ended the season as hot as they have ever been with the worst pitching luck I have seen in years. It's going to be an exciting next few days and I'm not going to be getting any work done during the series with LA.

The Rangers are back and I'll give them a shot. I'm sure it's a matter of time before they disappoint me. On the other hand, let's hope Larry Brown can do something with the Knicks who have been toast every since Jeff Van Gundy left.

Damn, I'm out of time. Let's hope I can keep up my goal of devoting more time to the Tao of Pauly.