Saturday, July 31, 2004

Dead Setlist Great Woods Night 1

The Dead 7.30.04 Great Woods, MA

Set 1: Help On The Way> Slipknot> Franklin's Tower> Jam> Truckin'> Love Supreme Jam> Me & Bobby McGee, Strange World> The Wheel> Candyman, Just A Little Light, U.S. Blues, Headcount Rap

Set 2: Lady With A Fan> Terrapin Station> Jam> St Stephen> William Tell Bridge> The Eleven> Scarlet Begonias> Fire On The Mountain> Drumz> Space> Mountains Of The Moon, China Cat Sunflower> I Know You Rider, Donor Rap

Encore: Ripple

Friday, July 30, 2004

Hilton Sisters Challenge 3

Pocket Queens... heaven or hell?

I'm going away for the weekend, up to Providence and Boston. Incidentially the bus to Providence stops at Foxwoods. Oh my. I'll be following The Dead over the next week. I'll be back in the city Sunday night and will update my blog(s). So... let's do it. How about another Hilton Sisters Challenge, eh? You got 36 hours. Can you do it?

Visit the Tao of Poker for more details on how you can win a Pauly painting and other cool prizes.

By the way, why aren't you playing on Party Poker? Sign up today using my bonus code: TAO4.
Who's Your Daddy?

Daddy from Snail Trax said some funny things on his blog today. here you go:
I got into poker almost a full year ago, and upon that, got deeply into everything poker online. PokerPages, Caro, 2+2,, blogs, etc. It was in reading Pauly’s blog, and actually feeling the vibe that he was sharing..., his passion for seeing live music, his aggressive and oh-so-appropriate, off-the-wall, slapstick, in your face writing style much akin to our favorite Gonzo journalist, and his love for slow-playing the nuts and them rubbing them in your eye, that I decided to toss some words down myself.

Besides, it was free, and I was bored.

I had the chance to hook up with Pauly at the last Deer Creek Phish show, and, albeit a brief encounter, it was perfect for the time. We exchanged cell #s over email, and had talked a couple of times leading up to the show. We had agreed to meet below Sign #6, I think. Who knows. ?? At any rate, I was looking for a scraggly, 3 week bender totin', scarlet red dinner coat sportin', hippy-cityboy-rambler-with-a-reason-to-live-and-if-you-don't-feel-it-you-can-gobble-my-nutsack-Pimpslayer!! I found that Fucker, and we rejoiced the times over a nice fresh bowl of the Smurf, I think. Who knows. ?? It was setbreak, and I advised him to watch for an Antelope crossing.
Yeah, boy! Thanks for the kind words. See ya in Coventry!
5 Songs That I'd Like to Hear Phish Play in Virginia...

1. Bug
2. Fast Enough For You
3. Soul Shakedown Party
4. First Tube
5. Undermind
Pieces of Pauly

What did I eat yesterday? Breakfast was a mini black and white cookie and Rice Crispies. For lunch a sliced spicy chicken breast sandwich with white American cheese on Italian bread and ridged potato chips. Snack was a slice of marble loaf pound cake and two Drake's coffee cakes. And for dinner, I made cheese ravioli with a three cheese-marina sauce.

Thursday, July 29, 2004

Sweet Virginia!

Trey and Mike during You Enjoy Myself

Phish added one more show to their last tour... for a total of six!! The new show will take place on Monday, August 9th in Hampton, Virginia.... before the tour was scheduled to begin in Great Woods (Boston), MA on the 10th. Now the tour is going to be freaky... Virginia > Boston > Philly > Vermont. That's a lot of I-95 hours.
A Penguin's Journey

Dr. Pauly with the Poker Penguin (courtesy of the Poker Hermit)

First of all, belated birthday greetings to the Poker Penguin. If you don't know, he's leaving New Zealand and heading off to Canada. That means he is putting his poker blog on hiatus. However, he also has a regular blog, which he says he will be updating from time to time. That is called: Years of the Sheep, Days of the Tiger.

Yeah, The Poker Penguin is one of my favorite writers in bloggerdom. I invited him to write for my blogzine Truckin' and since he submitted his first piece... he hasn't missed a deadline. The last few issues have been anchored by his stories, and for that I am grateful. Collaboration between artists is something that does not always work... but in this case, he was a great addition to the roster of Truckin' authors.

I anticipate that his new experiences will only make him a better writer, and I look forward to publishing some of his zany adventures in Canada, and if he can get to America... a Vegas weekend with the Penguin and yours truly would make history.

Godspeed, Penguin.
5 Random Songs I Want to Hear The Dead Play This Weekend in Boston...

1. New Speedway Boogie
2. Casey Jones
3. Viola Lee Blues
4. St. Stephen
5. Box of Rain
Birthday Greetings...

Happy Birthday, Diane!

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Wednesday's Politico Roundup: Two Americas and Benessa

Editor's Note: I published the following entry to my poli-blog This Side of the Truth. Check it out.

In case you weren't paying attention, and by the lackluster TV ratings, most of America hasn't... the Democratic National Convention started on Monday. It was highlighted by an appearance by none other than Bill Clinton. I fuckin' love Bubba. For eight years he took hits from every side and came out "bulletproof." I was attentively listening to Bubba address the crowd while playing cards at my Monday night poker game. The DNC struggles to hold my attention. I feel like an eight year-old with ADD. After four minutes I get antsy and want to change the channel. Are the Democrats that boring? Yeah, when you actually have to say something aside from "Don't vote for the other guy!" and you don't have much of a platform aside from "We're not Bush!"... then there's not much to say.

I am bulletproof!

What's up with Hillary these days? I have this sneaky feeling she's going to vote for Bush, so that both John Kerry's and John Edwards' political careers come to a bitter end. She got only one thing on her mind... 2008. And she better start worrying. After an impressive stint at the podium from Barack Obama (Illinois), I'm starting to think he'll have a better shot of being on a ticket in 2008 than Hillary. He might even be our first Black President... well second if you count Bill Clinton. He can bring more newcomers and swing voters into the party a lot better than Hillary can. I expect the old broad to be pushed aside pretty soon. Her 15 minutes of fame is hitting the last few minutes.

Barack Obama... candidate for US Senate in Illinois

Without a doubt Obama was the highlight of Tuesday after America got their first real glimpse into the future star of the Democratic party. I dig the guy. He gave an excellent interview on Meet the Press this past Sunday. He's multiracial. He's well educated (Columbia, Harvard Law). He has grassroots experience. And he even has his own blog. Hillary ain't down with the hipster vote, just yet. But shit, if listening to an iPod while riding the L train to Williamsburg is going to get her votes, she'll fuckin' do it.

John Edwards spoke on Wednesday, and it was sad because he wasn't even the best speaker to date. He faired well and stuck to the script, but Rev. Al Sharpton was the MVP of the day after getting the crowd fired up for the first time all week. For fuck's sake it's sad when the most invigorating speaker at your convention is Al Sharpton.

I noticed that Ben Affleck has the hots for the other Kerry daughter, Vanessa. Jeez. Benessa. What's wrong with that possibility? Gwyneth > J. Lo > Vanessa Kerry? Are you kidding me? I think he wants to marry a rich chick that won't give a shit if he's dropping $250,000 playing poker at the Bellagio in Vegas. Rumors floating around the poker community suggest that J. Lo was not fond of the numerous hours he had logged at the poker tables in LA and in Vegas. Enter the daughter of a billionaire. So, what I want to know is Matt Damon going to starting banging Jenna Bush next?

The Good Doctor returned recently with a new article called Don't You Dare Cancel Football. If you didn't know, Hunter S. Thompson was the first writer who inspired me to become a writer. He blazed his way on the campaign trail with the boys in 1972, and I wish I could have gotten a chance to follow in his foot steps and cover an entire Presidential campaign. Here's a bit of his latest piece where he sounds off on gambling on politics:
So the time has come to get busy on what we call "the summer book" in the business of gambling on presidential elections. And right now the London/Vegas numbers are about 51-49 percent for Bush, if only because he is the filthy-rich incumbent and the son of a global oil-industry magnate.

That is big in the politics business; but this year, it will not be enough to make up for all the wretched, disastrous failures of the Bush administration. Betting on George Bush to win this coming election would be like betting the Denver Broncos to win the Super Bowl.

My own whim at the moment says that John Kerry will win big in November, and that the Colts will finally win the Super Bowl. Why not? This is the year of the monkey, and George Bush will be lucky to get out of Washington without being put on trial for treason.
I have to disagree with the Good Doctor here. Bush will win big... not Kerry. And he'll drop off the face of the Earth and end up ditching the Botox injections. He'll grow a hippie beard like Al Gore, start listening to Phish bootlegs and put people to sleep with his long-winded speeches.
Territorial Pissing: Another NYC Home Game
"Don't piss on my back and tell me it's raining." - Coach
Speaking of urine, I dated a girl once who had a pissing fetish. After sex she always wanted me to take a leak on her. Of course all this took place in the shower. I'm not a complete pervert. Who in their right mind pisses on their girlfriend in the middle of the living room?

Oooops, I think I cut and paste a story I was working on for the website: Pissing Tales.

Where was I? Poker. Yeah, poker. Signor Ferrari hosted another game on Monday night. It was a packed house at the Blue Parrot with some familiar faces and some new ones. The bankroll was looking thinner than a strung out model from Prague. I was hoping to build on the last few winning sessions at the Monday night games. Ferrari had on the (yawn) Democratic National Convention in the background. In between hands, I would throw out crude sexual references when both Hillary and Bill spoke. The highlights? None. I dropped $178 in a little over four hours... a losing rate of over $41/hour for you math wizards. In just four hands alone, I lost over $230. You could fly roundtrip from JFK to Vegas right now on Jet Blue for the same amount. I'm lucky I only lost $178. It was one of those nights when my full house lost to quads. I didn't play too bad, even with the usual two or three bonehead plays. I ended up with second best hand most of the night. And it sucked because I was playing tighter than ever. And the only few times I won pots were in Omaha hi/lo.
The Players:
Seat 1: Asphnxma from Riding the F Train
Seat 2: Adam (late arrival)
Seat 3: Joel
Seat 4: Signor Ferrari
Seat 5: Nicholas
Seat 6: Charlie (late arrival)
Seat 7: Ugarte (late, late arrival after his stand-up gig)
Seat 8: Coach
Seat 9: Dr. Pauly
Find out what happened... here.

I love drinking early in the mornings. It sets the tone for the rest of the day. In the transition between tipsy and drunk, I always happen to find my inner strength, the part of me that makes my back smooth... so everything people say can just slide right off. And of course the drunker I get, the outer forcefield is in full effect... where bad thoughts, physical pain, and hypocrites are unable to penetrate my well being.

Clouded by sobriety most of my waking day, it's in those moments when the sugar coating gets licked off, when I see the truth in the world I live in. Most people I know are full of shit, nothing more than scared poseurs and hipsters, with nothing original to offer the world as they shuffle off with hobgoblin of consistency. And the worst part is that they have no clue how stupid they look and act.

Days like today, I laugh at the weak ones. I sip my drink and ponder about the world when the sun shines on my snookered face. An old man that lives in my brother's apartment building killed himself yesterday. He sealed his apartment, turned on the gas, and put himself to sleep. Sad and tragic? Or admirable and heroic? Yeah, when I walked into the building yesterday, the mixture of recent death and leaking gas filled my nostrils. And I realized something about life. We're all a blink away from humility.

In the last decade, I spent a lot of time (and money) trying to forget the sad times, the bad times, the hurtful times, and the boring times. As much as you would like to erase them from your internal hard drive, they cannot disappear. They will not go away. As much as you would like to get rid of certain aspects of your past, you cannot. It lives inside you and will never disappear no matter how much you attempt to snuff it out, or get it drunk, or dub it anonymous... the more you ignore those horrible aspects of your inner self, the more damage you are doing to the word around you.

Life is incredibly short. I used to have long hair down to my ass and now I'm days away from Larry David's hair style. Get your shit together, quick. The people in your lives will never know how to thank you. If every person on the entire planet improves one bad thing about themselves... then this world would be a more relaxing place to live in.
Support a Small Business Owner!

Binga's Wingas... the best wings in Maine!

OK, Binga's Wingas is own an operated by one of my brother's good friends in Portland, Maine. They have two different locations. If you are in Maine on your summer vacation, stop by and get a Grilled Chicken Death wrap. Those rock. The wings kick ass too.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

5 Phish Songs I Want to Hear in Vermont...

1. Sleeping Monkey
2. Farmhouse
3. Ya Mar
4. Sneaking Snally
5. Carini

Monday, July 26, 2004

5 Phish songs that start with the letter M... that I want to hear in Coventry, Vermont...

1. Makisupa Policeman
2. MoMA Dance
3. My Friend, My Friend
4. Mound
5. Meat
The Yawn on the Horizon

Editor's note: I published the following entry to my poli-blog This Side of the Truth.

The Democratic National Convention (DNC) starts tomorrow. For me that's as exciting as watching two old people eat chili. For poli-nerds, this week is like the Super Bowl and Mardi Gras rolled into one. I applied for a press permit because the powers to be were issuing a limited number of passes to bloggers. Recognition in bloggerdom. Since I got snubbed, I should be in a pissy mood, but I'm not. I could care less. Too bad the Democrats and Republicans didn't hate themselves as much as the New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox. That's the best rivalry in all of sports. Tensions are high every time both teams take the field. But all the hype this week won't match the intensity of The Curse.

Yankees-Red Sox... the best rivalry in sports

Given a chance in between choosing ousting Bush or having the Sox win the pennant... even the most bleeding heart liberal fan in Red Sox Nation would glady suck up four more years of Bush, in exchange for one World Series. And Kerry is their native son. That should tell you something. People are more concerned about sports than politics in America.

Dennis Miller called the upcoming DNC "as exciting and predictable as watching an I Love Lucy rerun." He's got a point. There's going to be no surprises, just plenty of boring rehearsed speeches, a cool balloon drop, and plenty of Bush bashing.

Will John Kerry take the opportunity to define himself instead of attacking Bush? Frankly, I have no clue who he is. And that's what he wants. The less you know, the better. He hasn't said anything positive about himself aside from the fact that he's a three time Purple Heart winner. He might bash Bush, but who's really pulling the strings behind the curtain? That's what I want to find out, and regardless of what you think about Bush, you must realize that Kerry has friends in low places and in board rooms in corporations looking for a fatty handout just like Cheney's buddies did at Haliburton. From his voting record, it looks like he's been whoring himself out to the highest bidders for his entire career in the Senate.

And don't get me started about those experts who keep saying that Kerry can bring us back good favor with the French. Who gives a rat's ass about the same habitual appeasers who licked Michael's Moore feet clean after they gave them their most prestigious cinematic award for an anti-Bush (and in their minds, and anti-American) film? Yes, America needs a better PR job around the planet, but France is not on the top of the list of countries we need to improve relations with.

To hell with Moore's film, you must all read this book: The 9/11 Commission Report: Final Report of the National Commission on Terrorist Attacks Upon the United States. I read the entire book and spent the better part of one late night reading what every American should read. Put away the Harry Potter, the pink Chick Lit books, and the formulaic Dan Brown novels. And if you were expecting me to give you a review... then tough shit. Do your own home work. Get off your lazy ass and read what went wrong prior to 9.11 and what we have to do now to improve our homeland security. I'm not helping anyone by telling you what I know. You have to sift through the 516 pages and come to your own conclusions. Don't trust the media to give you the highlights. They've never shouldered any of the blame in what went down. They're a bunch of crooks and criminals as well.

On a lighter note, congrats to Lance Armstrong on winning a record sixth Tour de France earlier today in Paris. The collective hatred that the French have towards Lance Armstrong is indicative on how they view Americans as a whole. A non-Frenchman dominated their sport on their soil, and they do everything possible to discredit his feat by accusing him of using steroids and other performance enhancing drugs. Instead of saluting a man who accomplished an impossible feat, they act like childish, selfish, jealous idiots. They can't stand the fact that Americans are better at a lot of things in life than they are. France's trembling grip on the world is nothing more than a fading memory of a salacious one night stand with a transvestite hooker in the bathroom of a seedy bar in Montmarte in May of 1968. There's only one boorish, beer guzzling, French-taunting Texan who excels at extracurricular drug use... and he lives in the White House.

Friday, July 23, 2004

Blogger Holiday, Donkey Boy, and Other Ordinary Tales of Madness

I am on a weekend holiday. I won't be blogging on any of my sites until Sunday night. Check back then for the next new entry. I am out of town for a bit. After a few conversations with concerned friends, I am trying to avoid blogger burnout by taking a few days off every now and then. I'm a litte mentally drained after the launch of my poli-blog This Side of the Truth and a lot of work on the next issue of Truckin' (due out Monday)... and add to the mix writing for two daily blogs, as well as working on other literary projects, you got a writer who needs a breath of fresh air. Two days off will do wonders for my creative juices. I might sneak on to play a few hands of Party Poker, but I will avoid the computer the rest of the time.

Week 10: Pauly-BG Challenge

And the winner is... me! Boy Genius got 5 out of 12 possible points... he needed 7 to win. And that puts me ahead 6-4 after 2.5 months of prop bets. He almost guessed Lance Armstrong's correct time, off by just 41 seconds, but the WNBA games killed him, after picking just 2 out of 6 correct winners. I'll be awaiting next week's wager!

Poker champ... Ben Affleck

By the way, I forgot to mention that my buddy Ben Affleck won the California State Poker Championships and $350,000! Yes, everyone's favorite whipping boy outlasted a field of solid veterans and pros to gut out a nice victory and an automatic seat at the World Poker Tour Championships next April. Here's a bit of the article:
A new chapter in poker history was written tonight at Commerce Casino when, for the first time, a major open tournament was won by a film celebrity. Playing a very strong game, relaxed and obviously enjoying himself immensely, actor Ben Affleck took down the championship event of 2004 California State Poker Championship, $9,900+$100 no-limit hold’em, winning $356,400 and a $25,000 seat in next April’s Bellagio/WPT championship event.

His final opponent was journeyman pro Stan Goldstein. Finishing third was another show business figure, film/TV producer Chuck Pacheco, who finished 41st in this year’s WSOP championship. Between them, Affleck and Pacheco (and sweater Toby Maguire) attracted probably the largest entourage for any poker tournament.

In a brief speech, Affleck said he got lucky and complimented Goldstein as a great player. Afterwards, he said he was also pleased that he didn’t win by just sucking out and showed he wasn’t a “complete donkey.” He indeed had the best hands when he knocked out Pacheco (5-5 vs. Ac-Qc) and Goldstein (J-J vs. Ad-10d).
Congrats to Ben. I totally forgot to say something about his first tournament win. He had gotten a lot of shit after he lost to the gay guy from Sex in the City on last season's Celebrity Poker Letdown. I hope it doesn't go to this head.

Random Madness

I played for a little bit on Party Poker. I was eager to jump right into the waters after posting a decent win the night before. My session today was filled with ups and downs, but I managed to eek out a $30 win... so that's two positive days in a row.

My Phish tickets for Coventry arrived in the mail. Oh yeah!! Getting excited.

Thursday, July 22, 2004

Last 5 Random Google Referrals...

1. massage and cheap hand job Las Vegas
2. Amish sex bad
3. ways to sneak into Phish concert Coventry
4. lindsay lohan shaved pussy
5. cheap hookers san diego

I track the hits to my websites via Sitemeter. They tell me how people find their way to my site. And who's stopping by? Sexually depraved folks, that's who. What's the deal with the Tao of Pauly being a place to find out information regarding inexpensive sexual acts? I need to start talking more about high priced hookers.
The Taste of Victory
"The banality of everyday life becomes edible when you recklessly attempt to gamble on the outcome of otherwise meaningless events." - Me
Victory. It still tastes like chicken. It had been weeks since I actually had a triple digit winning day online! I scorned the cash out curse after slowly liquidating my Party Poker bankroll before my two week Phishin' trip in mid June. When I got back in July, there was only a little left to tinker around with. I was playing way below the necessary bankroll needed to absorb any nasty swings, horrible bad beats, and the everyday insanity in the poker world. With every losing session in July, I was a step closer to the dreaded rebuy on my credit card. That's what degenerate gamblers do... reload using Visa. Real poker players gut it out and scratch together a few solid wins and pull themselves out of the dark, desolate abyss known as the rebuy. Sure, my bankroll still isn't anywhere close to a place of comfort... but at least I gained momentum, and I'm charging up the mountain, instead of sliding down head first with a slew of mathematically impossible suck outs and poor plays following me like a trail of dust and debris.

I won a $20 SNG yesterday. It was big for me. Money is money. But after a series of questionable fishy calls from yours truly, I started to doubt my poker play. And when you work on a high wire, the worst thing for you to do... is look down. Logging out of Party Poker after a winning session... is like swallowing a handful of happy pills. You cannot help but feel excited, good, and warm and fuzzy inside. For the first time in weeks, my head hit the pillow knowing that I was finally a winning player... albeit for just a day... but that's enough to get your fledgling confidence back. I can't wait to play today.

Yeah, despite the rumors... I am not a rich man and I am not sitting on a hefty bankroll. Sure I made some money in the stock market, but who hasn't? Alas, I don't have the neurotic, chain-smoking daughter of a semi-famous actress to mooch off of anymore. I scratch by, living day to day, without steady employment... and that's by my choice. I ditched the glitzy world of designer suits, $9 shoe shines, and 8am sales meetings for a less stable, rambunctious bohemian lifestyle and I don't have any regrets. Sure, I lost most of my bankroll in Las Vegas this past April and slowly built it up after a solid May of utilizing my new philosophy of hit and run poker. $20 win here. $40 win there. That all added up. The first two weeks of June were insane... I was still on a rush and was kicking ass in the $20 SNGs. All the fish on Party Poker helped pay for my Phish trips, tickets, party favors, rental cars, motels, and everything else. Fitting, eh?

And that's where I'm at right now. I'm trying to raise money for a series of trips. I have a few concerts to see this summer. The Dead are around the East Coast... the final five Phish concerts... then Atlantic City in September and Vegas in December. Historically, I have always supplemented my income by gambling. Wall Street was gambling with other people's money. All those cool trips I've taken in the last decade... were all paid by the bad fortunes of others. I've always tried to parlay my gambling luck into travel money which eventually gave me more perspective, more experiences, and more material to draw on as a writer. Has gambling made me a better writer? That's hard to say. But there's a definite correlation and relationship between the two. And my poker blog is the illegitimate offspring of both of those passions... gambling and writing.

Some days I am really stuck in a bind. Part of me wants to consolidate my entire poker bankroll.... cash and online accounts... and buy that ticket to somewhere exotic and sit down to write my next two novels back to back. Right now... that's all a pipe dream. So it's back to the grind. Hit and run wins. The fish will pay for my Phish tickets this summer. When the weather gets really cold, when the football season ends, and when the snow gently falls... maybe then I'll think about that apartment in Paris or that houseboat in Amsterdam or that sandy beach somewhere where you get to sip on drinks with little green umbrellas.

Victoire. Il goute encore comme le poulet.

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Pieces of Pauly

What did I eat yesterday? For breakfast I had a bowl of Rice Crispies with skim milk and a banana. Lunch was a salami and cheese sandwich on Italian bread with spicy mustard and a Snapple iced tea. For dinner, I went to the diner with my brother. I ate a bacon cheeseburger deluxe. Late night snacks included a slice of marble loaf poundcake and an ice pop.
Wednesday's Politco Roundup: Vote for My Daddy, Sock Boy!

Editor's Note: I posted the following entry to my latest project, the new poli-blog, This Side of the Truth. Enjoy.

The Sandy Berger story has gotten plenty of buzz and spin in the last 24 hours. The advisor to John Kerry quickly quit yesterday after the story was leaked. And it's a juicy tale, packed with plenty of drama and action, more similar to a Hollyweird summer blockbuster. Our main character, the former national security advisor to Bubba Clinton, smuggled out classified documents in of all places... his pants and shoes. He stole copies of top secret reports about the botched millennium terror plans. Of course, all of this came to light and after a clueless mistake, poor Sandy Berger is unwillingly caught up in the the mud fight, smack in the middle of an election year.

Who leaked the story? Some are pointing fingers at Republicans. Others are saying the Democrats leaked it. Sure, it's far better to get any dirty laundry out now while potential voters are on vacation or those that are paying attention will probably soon forget about it a few weeks when the next hot story takes center stage.

Jenna Bush waves good-bye to reporters

Sandy Berger, a.k.a. Sock Boy, kept everyone's favorite First Daughter, Jenna Bush, off the front page. Seems that Daddy's Girl was having a fun time joking around with the press corps the other day while out campaigning for the GOP. Her joyous moment was captured by the vultures with digital cameras, only to have her folly posted all over the internet within seconds. I betcha Laura Bush gave her a talking to this morning. But the Bushes can't be too upset. At least one of their twins isn't in rehab right now, sitting in a semi-circle with burnt out rock stars and past-their-prime celebrities discussing their fucked up childhoods. Both Bush twins graduated from college this past Spring. The smart twin went to Yale. The blonde twin hung at UT in Austin, sat on her couch, drank cheap beer, ripped bong hits, and watched Aqua Teen Hunger Force... coincidentally that's the same thing her old man did last weekend at Camp David.

The candidates' daughters are out campaigning and stumping for their fathers. Alexandra Kerry recently called the press "mean". Awwwww. Welcome to the real world, Princess. Too bad we all can't be daughters of billionaires. If you don't like what they say about your old man, who by the way, is almost as charismatic as Al Gore on three hits of Valium... then ask your Mommy to buy you your very own TV station. That way, you can come up with your own news organization that will only broadcast "nice" news stories. And you can use the rest of the air time to show reruns of Sex in the City and Felicity.

I like Jenna. She's not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but she knows how to have a good time. She'd tell you to "Fuck off," if you didn't vote for her father. That's what I love about those Texas girls. Attitude. She's got spunk. Hanging out with Alexandra Kerry seems a tad more exciting than reading the nutritional label on the back of a soup can.

Yeah, it's all bullshit anyway. Jenna's not going to be giving key note speeches any time soon. You'd be lucky to bump into her at your local Hooters trying to get drunk thirty-something java programmers to buy her another pitcher of beer, after she had placed second in a wet T-shirt contest.

Please visit my new poli-blog This Side of the Truth for more posts on politics and the like.
Tonight Show, Last Night, and Other Random Thoughts

French chicks eating cereal is very sexy

I never watch Jay Leno. The only quality late night talk show is Conan. I'll watch him without any guests. With Leno and Letterman, they have to have a good reason for me to tune in... and last night... there were two good reasons for me to tune in. The Dead were the musical guest and performed Touch of Grey. Man, now I'm getting excited for a few Dead shows in the next upcoming weeks. Anyway, I did not know about the other guests... but the sole reason I watched Leno was to catch a glimpse of The Dead. I had no clue that my favorite French actress... Julie Delpy... was going to be interviewed. Man, I fuckin' would slice off parts of my ear, left pinky, and even three of my toes just to get the opportunity to suck on the tips of her finished cigarettes. When I think of sexy, sultry, salacious, and down right dirty chicks... my mind wanders to rainy Parisian afternoons where I am seduced by a mysterious, existentialist, chain-smoking actress brooding about the lack of originality in the world of cinema. So Ms. Delpy, if you don't believe in God, give me ten minutes and I'll make sure you'll be screaming his name by minute six.

Alright, so this morning after writing for two hours, I went to the corner bodega to buy the morning newspaper rags. There was a kid, barely fourteen, standing out front. He asked me to buy him cigarettes. I told him no way. Actually, I said that I would do it for $5. He said he could give me $1. And that's when I told him, "No way." If I was going to be part of the corruption of America's youth... I wanted my fair cut.

It's supposed to be 90 degrees later today. Weird things happen when it gets that hot in NYC. People go a little stir crazy under extreme temperatures. One of the worst things to experience in this world... is getting stuck on the subway in rush hour... with no air conditioning.

Yesterday, I finally finished writing the third short story for this month's issue of Truckin'. I hope to have it up by Monday morning for sure.

I celebrated the completion of the new issue by playing poker for three hours... and I struggled to break even. I seem to have a running problem when I play cards. I lose a very close hand right away and I'm down. The first half of the session, I'm playing with a smaller bankroll after the initial loss. It took me two and half hours to break even. It was a brutal day and I decided that breaking even was just as good as a winning day, so I stopped playing. Some days, some weeks... I'm barely keeping my head above water. And I thought I was a good player.

I have to go read a jillion newspapers and magazines now to catch up on international news and domestic politics. I plan on writing a new entry for my poli-blog later this afternoon (will be posted later tonight). And yes, I'm going to play poker too, while trying to attempt to stay cool.

Later tonight, I will be closely following three WNBA games. Yes, I got involved in betting on woman's basketball with Boy Genius for our weekly prop bet. He picked: DETROIT over Connecticut, PHOENIX over San Antonio, and WASHINGTON over LA. So that means you have to root for Connecticut, San Antonio, and then LA tonight.

The banality of everyday life becomes edible when you recklessly attempt to gamble on the outcome of otherwise meaningless events. You can quote me on that one.
Otis and the Mea Culpa

This post is worth mentioning. Otis and the Mea Culpa is an excellent entry about a man, one Otis B. Dart, explaining the last several months of the poker blog boom. Here's a bit:
I need to take a brief diversion from our regular poker passion to consider the value of our community of poker players and writers.

I've long believed green felt could've torn down the Berlin Wall. Few substances and even fewer fabrics have the ability to bring together such a wide variety of people, backgrounds, and mindsets. Maybe booze, but green felt is better to set your chips on.

If not for the inherent competition in the game, it could likely serve as the world's greatest relationship therapist.

I believed that even before CJ invited me to begin blogging here on Up For Poker. But once we started here I discovered something even greater. You don't even have to have the felt. You don't need chips. You just need a love of the game.

In the past year I've come to ethereally know some of the best players, writers, and thinkers out there in the poker world. In a few short months I felt myself actually thinking about these folks and talking about them to my wife. How one guy lost his job. How one guy was nursing his pet back to health. How one guy is on the road living a bohemian life.

That was pretty odd for me, to be honest. I typically care about a small circle of people and the rest be damned.
I think that I'm that Bohemian he's referring to. Anyway, Otis summed up pretty clearly in the rest of the entry why writing about poker is as important as it is to read about poker. And we all write and blog for free. It allc omes together in this statement:
We are people who realize that poker is not just a means to play, or not just a means to a profitable end, but a means to some sort of greater understanding of our own minds. If we can understand why we make decisions in a game, me might better understand how or why we make certain decisions in our life.
Way to go, Otis!
On Hunt for Man Who Had Sex with Dog...

Illinois man accused of having sex with dog is a funny read. Here's a bit:
Joyner faces felony charges of engaging in sexual conduct with an animal and criminal damage to property. He could face up to nine years in prison and $75,000 but is also eligible for probation...
Only in Illinois.

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Shoe-Stealing Revenge

One of my few pet peeves is people talking during music concerts... either to me or around me. There's nothing more annoying than useless chatter during a musical performance. Do people talk during movies or plays? No... that behavior is not tolerated. But because the music might be loud... that gives some people the idea that they should talk about their boring lives. Can't you wait until the setbreak or when the concert ends? There are 24 hours in a day... why do they chose the middle of a set to talk about so and so's new boyfriend or girlfriend? And why do they do it within earshot of me?

This story on Gawker made me laugh.... Shoe-Stealing Revenge Against Blatherers at Central Park Concert. Someone took the shoe of one chatty girl last night at a free concert in Central Park. That's awesome!!

A few years back at a String Cheese Incident concert at Summerstage in Central Park, I turned around and scolded a young woman yapping on her cellphone, "How long will you be talking on your phone? Because if it's going to be longer than a few more minutes, let me know... because I will move to a spot with a lot less annoying people around me."

She actually apologized and stopped talking.

At an Allman Brothers Band concert at the Beacon Theatre in the mid-1990s, I yelled at one guy because his very drunk girlfriend kept talking to me, in a loud, drunken stupor during the middle of a sizzling Southbound. I grabbed the guy's elbow and begged him to shut up his woman. They switched places, thank God, and the rest of my show was great.

There was a girl I went to school with that we nicknamed Buzz Kill. Anyway, Buzz Kill was not the type of girl you wanted to see a concert with... actually you rarely wanted to do any sort of partying with her. She would get too wasted, lose something like her car keys or purse (pre-cellphones), and destroy any good time or positive vibe that you were having during a concert or at a party. And don't even think about giving her drugs. Some people can't hold their mud... and she's the poster girl for that person. Nothing is worse than having to take care of someone who is too far gone and needs help... but is so fuckin' annoying that you really don't give a rats ass if she OD's in your arms or not.

She's probably married to a Senator in Alabama now with three kids. If you are reading this... you owe me several hours of my precious youth! You killed so many of my buzzes that you need to get me high everyday thru 2008 just to make a dent in reparations.
Last 5 Flicks I Watched...

1. Specimens of Beauty
2. Eurotrip
3. Sleepers
4. Anything Else
5. The Bourne Identity

Monday, July 19, 2004

Last 5 Books I Saw People Reading on the Subway...

1. Life of Pi by Yann Martel
2. Booty Nomad by Scott Nebus
3. The Lamp of the Wicked by Philip Rickman
4. Nickel and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich
5. The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
Dumped on 33rd Street

I had a weird day. I woke up tired after a restless sleep. I wanted to go have a diner burger with Jessica in Midtown but the diner by her office was packed... with at least a twenty minute wait. We walked uptown a few blocks to a Wendy's. I got the #6 with an iced tea.

I won $20 playing poker in about three hours. I wrote a little bit and scolded myself for slacking off on the third story I'm supposed to write for Truckin'. The coolest thing about being editor of the same magazine I write for is knowing that the piece will get done. Tomorrow, I'll write it. For now, I'm taking it easy and pacing myself.

I was wandering through a small pedestrian mini park (a bunch of cafe tables and benches surrounding a statue is a park in some parts of NYC) and I caught this young girl wearing an aqua tank top. Something was wrong. She was crying with her head down. Actually, she was sobbing. It looked like she'd been crying for some time. There was a guy sitting right next to her. He had his head buried near her neck. From my quick analysis, I guess that he met his girlfriend for lunch... then dumped her.... in a public place, to avoid any unwanted freak outs from a jilted, unstable ex. Stuck in the middle of tourists and office workers eating fast food and sipping bottled water, this young girl had her heart broken. I wonder what really happened. I was going to pause and watch them for a few seconds, but I kept walking. I had somewhere to be.

Got back home turned on IFC. Watched Dinner for Five with two of the dudes from Dazed and Confused were on with Vince Vaughn and Brian Cox (The Ring, Adaptation). Some of those stories are hialrious.
Lone Star Celebrity...

Molly recently blogged an interesting bit about a celebrity sighting in El Paso, TX. It's pretty funny and random.

I guess I take it for granted random sightings because I am fortunate to see celebs all the time in the big city and at my last trip to Vegas. While going to work, my brother saw Stanley Tucci on the subway. I saw Kato Kaelin, Ben Affleck, and Chris Moneymaker at Foxwoods Casino in the last year. I was waiting to do a drug deal once and bumped into Bill Murray in the Village. And of course, when I was a museum security guard I saw celebs every day.
Impending Terrorist Attack?

Yesterday, I wrote my latest politically flavored entry, which I posted to This Side of the Truth. Check it out. Here's the entire entry:

Will there or won't there? Director of Homeland Security, Tom Ridge, warned every American about the impending doom of the next terrorist attack in an uncomfortable press conference two weeks ago. Were his assertions legitimate? Or was he trying to cover the collective asses of the current administration and all the intelligence agencies? All the experts agree that Al-Qaeda will attack within the United States again. It's a matter of time. But when and where?

Will Al-Qaeda, or AQ 2.0 (as terrorism expert Jonathan Schanzer dubbed the second generation of Al-Qaeda affiliates willing to join the fight against America) attempt to disrupt the national elections in November? Madrid on 3.11 was a morbid example of their focus to use remote bombs on commuter trains in a timely attempt to bully the European allies before an election. The people of Spain voted out their pro-American leaders and ushered in new ones, those of whom were less likely to rush to the front of the line to assist America in any future altercations with the Arab world. The citizens of Spain elected to be blackmailed. The leaders of the Philippines were blackmailed by terrorists this week. Al-Qaeda knows that our leaders will not give into their demands. And they also know how to sway public opinion. They won by fear, force, and by 9.11... the hearts and minds necessary to continue to thrive in the Arab world, recruit new members, and raise more funds.

Al-Qaeda's mode of thinking is that, perhaps, more American casualties on our own soil will convince our voters to get rid of George Bush. That is way off base. Too bad they don't understand how politics really work in America. The average Joe American doesn't get our President elected. Big Business, with the help of millions of dollars in donations, are the entities who buy elections. They do it all the time. Recent numbers indicate that 50% of Kerry's fundraising and over 75% of Bush's fundraising were contributed by corporations and other privately owned businesses (and some actually gave money to both candidates). If the terrorists can get to the heart of the American business and cripple Wall Street and all the fortune 500 Companies, then they have a better chance of affecting the election, since there will be no money left around to buy votes.

Futhermore, if there is a terrorist attack before the election, the swing voters are more likely to back Bush, who appears to have a more fierce attitude than Kerry (otherwise known as The Texas Way) when dealing with terrorists.

My stance has always been this: There are people who will attack us no matter who our President and leaders are. The first attack on the World Trade Center happened on Bill Clinton's watch.

There's a lot of debate on a pre-election strike. If there is a new attack, I expect the terrorists to hit soft targets such as malls, subway lines, nuclear power facilities, and the like instead of higher profile, more secured targets like the NYSE exchange on Wall Street and the Democratic and Republican National Conventions in Boston and New York. To me there's no difference in getting kicked in both balls or just one. It still hurts.

Again, will something go down? We've got our eyes open, but can only watch so much. There's plenty of security risks all over our country, which eventually, will be or already has been exploited. I hope that those gaps in our homeland security are plugged sooner than later. Until those problems are corrected, I am afraid that there is always a very likely chance of something happening between now and the end of the year.

Prediction by Signor Ferrar

Also in a new post on This Side of the Truth, Signor Ferrari, a regular contributor to Rick's Cafe Americain, shared his opinion on world affairs, specifically the possibility of the next big strike by Al-Qaeda inside the United States, in a post titled Prediction. Here's what he had to say:
PREDICTION: There will NOT be a terrorist attack before the presidential elections.

One of two states currently exists. Either the terrorists are currently, and will be until election day, incapable of attempting a major terrorist attack, or they are (or will be) capable of attempting one. If we are in the first situation, then obviously, there will be no attack. If we are in the second situation, I nevertheless predict that we will not see an attack prior to election day. Why? Well, let me tell you...More
Check out the rest of his opinion and my new post.
Week 10: BG-Pauly Gamble-a-thon

We have reached the tenth week of the BG-Pauly Challenge. I hold the slight edge 5-4 overall. We have wagered on everything from VP nominees to celebrity deaths to box office numbers to guessing the height and weigth of fellow poker bloggers. Indeed, we'll bet on anything. This week, BG shifted the focus back to sports as we gambled on different prop bets involving the MLB all star game. I shall continue the sports route as we venture into gambling on women's basketball and cycling.

Week 10: Out of 12 possible points... you need to acquire 7 to win this bet. You will be picking winners (without spreads, straight up) of six WNBA games and trying to guess Lance Armstrong's lead/deficit in the Tour de France after the completion of Stage 17.

You get 1 point for each correct WNBA games. (Max 6 points)
Wed. July 21
Connecticut at Detroit
San Antonio at Phoenix
Washington at LA Sparks

Thu. July 22
Indy at Seattle
Minnesota at Connecticut
Phoenix at Sacramento
The Tour de France hits the Alps this week and that's where Lance Armstrong is at his best.

You get the following points guessing Lance Armstrong's lead/deficit (what you think he's up or behind (e.g. +3:45 = ahead in first place or -0:35 = behind thirty-five seconds):
6 points: exact score
5 points: within 1 to 15 seconds
4 points: within 16 to 30 seconds
3 points within 31 to 45 seconds
2 points: within 46 to 60 seconds
1 point: within 61 to 90 seconds
If Lance is ahead by 3:05 and you guess +2:30, you get 3 points. You can get points if you over shoot. Let's say you picked +3:30, then you get 4 points.

The Alps:
July 20, Stage 15: Valreas > Villard-de-lans
July 21, Stage 16: Bourg-d'oisans > L'Alpe-d'Hueuz
July 22, Stage 17: Bourg-d'oisans > Le Grand-Bornard

Best of luck. Send me your 6 WNBA picks and the Lance Armstrong's time after Stage 17 by Midnight, Monday.
Previous Weekly Prop Bets:
Week 1: Celebrity deaths (Pauly 1, BG 0)
Week 2: Shrek 2's Memorial Day weekend grosses (Pauly 1, BG 1)
Week 3: Height & weight of poker bloggers (Pauly 2, BG 1)
Week 4: Combinded Grateful Dead shows seen by Maudie & Iggy (Pauly 2, BG 2)
Week 5: What won't BG Eat? (Pauly 3, BG 2)
Week 6: Roadtrip: What cities did I see Phish or the Dead? (Pauly 3, BG 3)
Week 7: Who will last longer in the Sat. morning tournament? (Pauly 4, BG 3)
Week 8: Who will Kerry pick as his VP? (Pauly 4, BG 4)
Week 9: Baseball All Star Game prop bets (Pauly 5, BG 4)
This will give me a good excuse to watch the WNBA.

Sunday, July 18, 2004

Taking the Impants Out for a Walk

Tara Reid and Lindsey Lohan take their implants shopping is a funny link to a gallery of the girls showing off their newly enhanced breats.
Sunday Morning Party
I played in another multi-table poker tournament online at Party Poker. I wanted to improve on yesterday's crappy finish. This morning a few bloggers were playing including Al Can't Hang, My brother, and Maudie. 1273 players registered with over $6000 in prize money. First place paid $1273. Second place was $744. First 120 places make the prize money. My best finish to date: 47th!
Before the first break, Al Can't Hang was the first to bail out in 811th place. My brother ran out to a nice chip lead (among the bloggers). A few bad beats later, he was barely ahead of Maudie and myself. I played extremely conservative... folding playable hands in favor of letting all the maniacs knock themselves out early. Over half the field gets kncoked out in the first hour and I wanted to survive that onslaught. I played two hands... 77 and AK.
The hand before the first break I had KQ in the big blind. I flopped top pair and moved all-in. It was an agressive move, but since I was just recently moved to a new table, I wanted everyone to know that they shouldn't mess around with my stack. You better have a hand if you want to play with me. That pot helped put me over T1000. There was 679 players left after the first break, about half the field remained.
The Hilton Sisters hooked me up early. I put a short stack all-in and beat out A10s. I was looking good until AQo. I made a move... and raised to 5x the BB. I got one caller. The flop KK8. I made a move... a old fashioned bluff and moved all-in. The guy who called me preflop was the table chip leader and I put him on a middle pair or even AQ or AJ. He should have realized that with a monster raise preflop... that I had a high pocket pair or at least AK. He made a foolish move and called with 99! Why he called with that flop, I'll never know. I didn't catch any of my overcards and I was knocked out (again with AQ) in 583rd place.

Derek was out in 547th place. Maudie was bounced in 438th place and outlasted all of us today!
5 Random Songs I Want to Hear Phish Play in Great Woods...

1. Sleeping Monkey
2. Theme from the Bottom
3. Undermind
4. Seven Below
5. Makisupa Policeman

Saturday, July 17, 2004

The Way of Pauly

Someone recently asked me, "What is a typical day like?" That's hard for me to answer. But I'll tell you how today went.

5:58am... Got up to take a piss and never fell back asleep after a flimsy four plus hours of slumber. I was writing by 6:15 am.

8:30am... I completed my daily two hour writing session and started working on another project. Some of my writing music included The Grateful Dead, Peter Tosh, Charlie Hunter Quartet, Billie Holiday, and The Flaming Lips.

9:15am... I skimmed all the daily newspapers online in 20 minutes, while writing emails back to scammers/spammers in Nigeria. I'm trying to scam the sammers.

10:03am... I ate a quick breakfast (chicken breast sandwich on a roll and two mini black and white cookies) and fired up Party Poker.

10:30am... I registered for a multi table tournament. 1247 players including fellow bloggers Boy Genius and Al Can't Hang. First place paid $1247!!

11:07am... Al Can't Hang busted in 893rd place.

11:09am... Boy Genius eliminated in 885th place.

11:57am... I'm knocked out of the tournament when I went all-in with AQs. I lost to pocket aces... AA! I came in 690th place out of over 1200+.

12:07pm... I started playing on a regular NL table after a five minute smoke break.

5:30pm... After seven straight hours of playing online poker, I logged off, down $14 for the day, or a losing rate of $2 per hour. I'm exhausted and my eyes are a little strained. I've been in front of a computer for over 10 hours today.
And there you have it.
A New Poem: Emotionless Highway

I posted a poem titled Emotionless Highway to the joint venture poetry workshop Getting Glassier and Glassier. Take a peek and let me know what you think. I have contributed two poems so far since I was invited to participate.
Today in Phishtory... 7.17

I saw two Phish shows on this date...

7.17.98 The Gorge, George, WA: Quite possibly that show represented one of the best sets of Phish I had ever seen! Definitely makes my Top 10 Phish shows list. The boys opened up with Makisupa Policeman. Set II was epic... 2001 > Mike's Song > Weekapaug, Character Zero... and the encore was PYITE > Rocky Top. The Gorge is my favorite outdoor venue to see live music next to Deer Creek, IN and Red Rocks, CO. I met Angela, the most dorable Phishy chick from central Texas, at that show. Who would have guessed that 18 months later... we would be dating for almost a year and have seen over 40 shows together all over the country.

7.17.99 Oswego County Airport, Oswego, NY: A two day festival in the middle of a Phish summer tour! The first show was not as good as the second show, however, the Tube opener was special for me... who was jacked up on four hits of liquid sunshine. In the second set, Wolfman's > Sneaking Sally > Wolfman's > Timber Ho! was one of the better segues of that summer tour. Caught the show with Gil, Senor, and Spider... who was wearing the most hilarious T-shirt ever with the motto Don't put your dick in my friends.

Friday, July 16, 2004

Last 5 Books I Saw People Reading on the Subway...

1. The Sound of the Fury by William Faulkner
2. Che Guevara: A Revolutionary Life by Jon Lee Anderson
3. Fountainhead by Ayn Rand
4. This Side Of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald
5. Going Topless by Megan McAndrew
Fantasy Bloggery...

Tao of Pauly Share Prices as of 7.16.04

Boy Genius recenly told me about this site: Here's the skinny:
BlogShares is a simulated, fantasy stock market for weblogs where players invest fictional money to buy stocks and bonds in an artificial economy where attention is the commodity and weblogs are the companies. Weblogs, or blogs for short, are valued by their incoming links from other known blogs. In effect, links become the business deals in the simulation and players speculate on the fortunes of thousands of blogs by buying and selling shares. A whole host of options exist for advanced play including gifting shares, leveraged buy-outs, stock splits, additional share issues, market and player bonds...

The overall objective of BlogShares is to explore the emerging social network, to provide a fun environment for bloggers and to add value to the network. It is constantly evolving to accommodate the needs of players and non-players alike. We plan to offer new perspectives to bring attention to the far corners of the network, to offer the most playable simulation possible and to build a dynamic, intelligent community around the site.
So basically, I'm getting flashbacks from my days on Wall Street. There are people out there participating in a fantasy game involving the buying and selling of shares... instead of stocks in companies... they trade stocks in blogs. Preety geeky, but way cool.

The current value of The Tao of Pauly: $70.15 per share or over $2,700+ in real dollars.

The highest peak was on June 7th... when shares topped at at $138, jumping over $134 in just three days. talk about a high mover! I'll keep my eye on how my site is performing. In cae you were wondering, the Tao of Poker is worth over $694 a share!!
Live Phish Shows on

Don't miss out on some great music...

Yesterday I got an e-mail from Lori telling me that was broadcasting streaming audio of the Phish show in Deer Creek that I was just at!! I used to listen to all the time, but for some reason stopped about a year ago. I found out that on Thursdays and Fridays at 1pm EST... they play LIVE PHISH. Check in today from 1pm to 6pm (?) for some killer Phish flow! I wonder if they will be playing the Alpine Valley shows?

Anyway, I was having a not-so-good morning yesterday after dealing with some personal stuff. I was stuck in such a bitter mood that my entire day was thrown out of whack. I planned on playing in a poker tournament online in the morning, write in the afternoon, and play more poker in the early evening. Eveything was thrown outta whack. I know now, that when my head isn't on straight, that I need to avoid playing cards and stay away from writing until I am focused. Luckily, in mid afternoon I checked my email and got word from Lori about the webcast of the Phish show... I had no idea I'd hear two shows... both Deer Creek shows. I was pumped up. That Down with Disease > Rock and Roll was even sicker listening to it the second time... than seeing it live in person. Anyway, Phish and some amazing memories pulled me outta that wicked funk... and I was able to write a little bit and I was focused enough to play poker online for two hours (I broke even)... with Phish on in the background. I called up a few folks and emailed everyone else... telling them about the shows. A few friends fired up the webcast at work and were pretty excited I told them about the site.

Never underestimate the healing power of music. By the way... most of the time, plays mostly... Grateful Dead... 24 hours a day! And they air Phish shows at 10pm on Saturdays.
I'm Moving to Norway...

Hey Sigge, do you need a roommate? Know any cool Norwegian girls who like snarky American writers with questionable substance abuse problems? Anyway... I just read this article: Norway Best Place to Live on Earth. It seems that in a recent United Nations study, Norway was selected once again for the fourth straight year.

And with all those wild stories about more public sex, Oslo seems like the perfect place for me to relocate and write my fifth novel!

Thursday, July 15, 2004

Today in Phishtory... July 15

I saw three Phish shows on July 15th!

7.15.00 Columbus, OH: I caught the shows with Angela in a run that included 3 Deer Creek shows > 2 Columbus shows. The night before it rained so hard that they stopped the show after the first song. Anyway, the weather was much better and the boys busted out Roses Are Free in the first set. Second set opened with Down with Disease, While My Guitar Gently Weeps and Makisupa Policeman. I was pumped, of course, to hear one of my favorite songs.

7.15.99 Holmdel, NJ: Driving like 90 mph on the NJ turnpike when I was not caught in rush hour traffic with Senor riding shotgun and Modeski chugging beers in the backseat! The boys opened with PYITE > Ghost and we were a little late to the show. On the way home, we gave two kids from Texas a lift back to the City. Of course, the Pauly Mobile ran out of gas (in a toll booth of all places on the Garden State Parkway). Modeski and Senor tossed a glowstick back and forth as we waited for the AAA dude to arrive at 2am.

7.15.98 Portland, OR: I was living in Seattle at the time and hitched a ride with Sarah and her dog for the start of the summer Phish tour which included two shows at The Gorge. Wilson > Tweezer Rerpise was a sick fuckin encore!

Pieces of Pauly

What did I eat on June 24, 2004? I woke up in the campgrounds at Deer Creek, Indiana on Phish tour. I traded some goodies for a breakfast burrito (with two scrambled eggs, ham and cheese) made by an old Deadhead from Colorado. Oh, and I drank lemonade and vodka early that morning. For lunch, I ate a plate of homemade cajun fries from a vendor in Shakedown. Before the show I ate a grilled cheese and after the concert I wandered around the parking lot with Zobo and I ate a veggie burrito that I bought off a Phishy chick wearing a red bandana.
Three's Company?

One time long ago, in a galaxy far, far away... I lived in an apartment with two female roommates. I thought my life was going to be the life of Jack Tripper... and hijinks would ensue just like on Three's Company. For fuck's sake, it was nothing like that whatsoever. Life was more like The Divine Secrets of the Ya-ya Sisterhood meets The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

5 Things I Miss About Living in the South...

1. Widespread Panic
2. Mayo on cheeseburgers
3. Sweet tea
4. Did someone say... biscuits?
5. 4am trips to Waffle House
Summer Monday at the Blue Parrot
"Don't believe the florist when he tells you that the roses are free." - Ween
I only played once at the Blue Parrot since the summer began. Ferrari hosted a game two weeks ago but I was still on the road after my Phishy travels. I had to miss the last game. I was on tilt all weekend after a series of stupid, rookie, kick me in the balls kinda moves in $20 NL SNGs... I hadn't seen everyone in over a month so I was ready to play some cards.
The Players:
Seat 1: Diane
Seat 2: Charlie (late)
Seat 3: Eli (first time player, law student)
Seat 4: Signor Ferrari
Seat 5: Joel
Seat 6: Coach
Seat 7: Dr. Pauly
To read the rest of the home game write up, visit the Tao of Poker.
An Invitation to Getting Glassier and Glassier

NYC poet Diane Roy invited me to participate in her workshop/blog called Getting Glassier and Glassier. Here's the tagline:
When the bars close and you've sobered up, this is where you can post, fresh, raw and new stuff for comment and critique. Welcoming all shapes, colors sizes, pages, rhyme schemes whatever.
I'm one of three writers so far (including Diane and Rich). I expect to post at least one poem a week to Getting Glassier and Glassier. That's my goal, which would be good discipline for me... knowing that I will be working on the poetry aspect of my literary adventures. For my first entry, I posted last week's poem that everyone helped me write: In Between Fighting Souls. Check it out.
Week 9: Pauly-BG Gamble-a-thon... All Star Game

Well it's that time of week again. Boy Genius decided to make use of the MLB All Star Game for our weekly prop bet. Here's the propositions:
1) Runs+Hits+Errors, AL+NL +/- 29.5
2) Home Runs, AL+NL +/- 2.5
3) First Five Innings O/U 4.5 runs combined
4) Total Hits, AL+NL +/- 19.5
5) Total Strikeouts, AL+NL +/- 16.5
6) Team to score first
7) Team to score last
8) Team to hit more home runs
9) Team to have more base hits
10) League to hit first home run
The goal is for each of us to pick any five. Whoever has the most correct bets wins this round. And here are BG's picks:
1) AL+NL HR OVER 2.5
2) Total Strikeouts, AL+NL UNDER 16.5
3) Team to score first - NL
4) Team to have more hits - AL
5) Team to score last - NL
And of course... my picks:
1) Home Runs - OVER
2) First Five Innings O/U 4.5 runs - OVER
3) Total Strikeouts, AL+NL +/- 16.5 - UNDER
4) Team to hit more home runs - AL
5) Team to have more base hits - AL
What can I say? I'm a Yankees fan and I knew Clemens was going to get rocked in the first inning! I think I got this one locked up and lead the series 5-4. I have some good ideas about Week 10... stay tuned.

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Got Coke?

Got any blow, Mary-Kate?

So Ashley is the anorexic twin and Mary-Kate is the cokehead? I wanna know which one to hit on next time I see them. I guess I should say, "Hey man, do you want some cheesecake?" If she says no, then I have to find the other one.

Id you don't know, those Got Milk! ads featuring the Olsen Twins have been pulled due to sensitivity issues! I guess they were worried about all the cokehead jokes that would ensue. Man, if I knew teenaged cokeheads drank milk... I would do it more often.
Which Are You?
"There are two types of people in this world; doctors and patients." - Splading Gray
Well... Spalding had a point. Either you need help or you're giving it. We know I'm Dr. Pauly. Which are you?
Getting Credit for the Hilton Sisters

Hanging with the Hilton Sisters at the Bellagio

CJ over at Up for Poker recently discussed the nicknames for certain starting hands in poker. Some of you know that I refer to QQ as the Hilton Sisters. Anyway... here's what CJ had to say:
Pocket Queens: The Hilton Sisters

As far as I can tell, this is a poker bloggers creation. Pauly has made this nickname more popular through his little contest. This hand has also been more traditionally called "Ladies." And until the recent tiger mauling, it was known as "Sigfried and Roy." I think Paris and Niki will hold this title for at least a little while.
Alas, I must clear the record. I never invented nor coined the phrase. As far as I know, Vince Van Patten, one of the hosts of the World Poker Tour often refers to QQ as the Hilton Sisters in episodes of the WPT on the Travel Channel. I did, however, beat the phrase to a dead horse... and helped boost the nickname during my Hilton Sisters Bounty Contest when I was away on holiday. Congrats to fellow bloggers Chris Halverson and Bad Blood on Poker for winning the contest!

Anyway, thanks to CJ for a great post!!
Poker Night = Rain Night

I swear that everytime I play cards at the Blue Parrot (aka Signor Ferrari's home game) it rains that Monday! Again, I had to walk to the subway in the pouring rain. At least this time, I won a few dollars and it made the walk home somewhat uplifting.

Nothing is more depressing than walking home broke in a down pour, bombarded with that hollow and empty feeling in your gut that all gamblers get nauceous on after they lose a huge anount of money in a gambling session.

I'll post a write up of my poker game to my poker blog sometime tomorrow afternoon.

Monday, July 12, 2004

Early Morning Creativity

I just exercised more personal creativity in the wee hours before 9am than mostly everyone on the planet will engage in during their entire lives. That's an uplifting feeling, knowing that I live to work on Monday mornings. When you love and are passionate about what you do... Monday mornings do not feel like your typical Monday mornings. You lose time. Who else jumped out of bed today at 4:59am and sprinted to their laptop? To quote Tony Robbins, "My Mondays are better than all of your birthdays, Christmases, and New Year's Eves combined."

Sometimes I shiver with the knowledge about the fortunate life I get to lead as a writer. It brings a smile to my face because I know that chaos, uncertainty, and darkness lurk beyond the next corner. Sure I was up before dawn writing my ass off, but that's what I've always wanted to do. That's what I was born to do. I've been working on a few projects and finally had time to take a breather.

Monday's Writing Music List:
1. Phish (The Bomb Factory, Dallas, TX, 5.7.94 II)
2. Django Reinhardt (Djangology, Rome, Italy, 1949)
3. The Grateful Dead (Pembroke Pines, FL, 5.22.77)
4. Medeski, Martin & Wood with Trey Anastasio (The Palace Theatre, Albany, NY, 12.1.00)
5. John Coltrane (Stockholm, Sweden, 1962)

I've got my groove back writing wise after my trip. My distractions are limited. This past week or so, I've been spending countless hours hacking it away on the laptop... so much so that I missed a few events that I really wanted to see like Ugarte's standup gig, a few phone calls, an afternoon Yankees game, a poker tournament on Party Poker, an episode of Dawson's Creek, lunch with a friend in SoHo, drinks with an old high school buddy, and several hours of sleep that I really could use. The time away from the poker tables is the only one I'm regretting since it's one of my sources of income and every hour away from the table is a few dollars I could have earned.
Gambling on the Olympics... Maybe?

If the Olympics aren't cancelled for security reasons, that will give me a rare chance to gamble heavily in the summer. Normally, the only professional sports played in the summer are baseball and woman's professional basketball. Only fools gamble on baseball, and only degenerate gamblers wager on chick hoops. Since I am neither, I am eagerly awaiting the Olympics to arrive so I can throw my money around and gamble on obscure sports like woman's weightlifting and badmition. Gamblers are looking for an edge, and if I get a positive variance in any of the events, like the woman's 100m breakstroke, then I'm all over it! Should make some good side prop bets with Boy Genius.
A Letter to the Editor

Ingrid from Me and Ophelia recently sent me this email regarding my post entitled: Kerry + Edwards = 4 More Years of Bush. Ingrid's comments were too long to post in my comments section, so she sent me this email instead. Enjoy. Here's a bit:
Hey Pauly,

I've just read your briliant political post and wrote a long comment - but it's too long to fit into the comment box, so I am emailing it to you instead.

Pauly I agree with Annie here: you ought to start a talk show - based on this brilliant post. I'm serious. You've got the peoples skills. Half of the US population don't vote and need to be encouraged to understand what is going on and vote. Our futures depend on it. You could get people thinking and talking about all sorts of issues - get them to vote, whether it be for Kerry or Bush - it's important that people vote (especially women - who had to fight to be allowed to vote).

If you have the will, you will find a way to get on air - PBS or cable - or even a radio talk show. Quick Pauly - go for it: phone around some personal managers and agents - get a promo pack put together - do a short promo tape (video or audio) and photos of yourself. You could be on the air in weeks to cover US politics and explain and disucss issues during the run up to the November election.

Your post is excellent. I read a lot of political blogs - it's rare to see someone cut to the chase so succinctly without coming across as aggressive, rude or downright unkind. You have a unique way with words and a personality that could reach a lot of people - especially women (they'll love you!). You could explain the complex world of politics in laymans terms - and get it across in an entertaining and unique way. You've got style and class are full of original ideas and stuff so whatever you do and which ever way you approach and present it, it's bound to get people listening, and thinking.

Issues and politics can be interesting if presented in ways that all of the people can understand. Many people are switching off and away from politics because (in my view) either it's all over the top of the heads or they feel that its a complete waste of time as they feel their voice makes no difference. It is not true. When the votes were counted on the Bush election in Florida - it's easy to see how a few thousand more (or less) could have made a huge difference. Politicians do listen - and its the job of the people they are surrounded by to listen to what people want: public opinion does count for a lot.
I love the idea. Late Nights with Dr. Pauly. I need a sidekick. I'll be looking into this idea for sure. Thanks for writing Ingrid!

Sunday, July 11, 2004

My Top 5 Favorite Seinfeld Secondary Characters...

1. Putty
2. Jackie Chiles
3. J. Peterman
4. Jack Klompus
5. Frank Costanza
Britney, Sex Mad Bride

Britney was my sex mad bride is a must read article about the 55 hour whirlwind marriage of Ms. Spears to childhood friend from Louisana, Jason Alexander. He goes into explicit detail about their lovemaking, Here's a bit:
"That first time we made love in our hotel suite as a married couple was amazing," he said. "It was more special and sensual than before... I'll remember it for the rest of my life. There was more emotion than we had felt, more connection... We didn't really have to strip off because Britney didn't have any underwear on.
She almost makes Courtney Love look as boring as a housewife from Wesport.
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Poker in the Weeds: Updated!

My brother finally added several new posts to his blog: Poker in the Weeds. Check them out. A semi-famous French poker player/blogger (he played in the World Series of Poker this year) marked my brother's site "interesting" out of all the rest of the blogs he listed. How about that? Like Woody Allen, my brother's poker blog is huge in France.

Anyway, my brother blogged his sad story about having his pocket aces (the best hand in poker) beaten by K-Q. It was in a tournament yesterday on Party Poker. I was playing as well and watched some idiot beat my brother, calling a hand he never should be playing. I even berated the guy in the chat saying things like, "Nice move, FISH!!" For you non-poker players, the term fish is a not-so-nice word for a new player. I was wicked pissed, and I wasn't even in that hand!

I think I came in 486th place out of 1194 players.
Kerry and Bush Were My Former Classmates

Same guy? Sons of wealthy rich men. Both educated at Yale. Both completely full of shit. Those dudes remind me of a few guys from college, specifically a few fraternity brothers of mine from Atlanta.

John Kerry was the guy in my fraternity who would call me up at 8:30 pm on a Saturday night and ask me my plans. When I'd tell him I'm going to a bar in the Highlands to drink at Atkins Park or Limerick Junction, he'd tell me to wait for him before I went out. I would, but of course, he was calling around to everyone else and when he found out something "cooler" to do, he'd ditch me (and a slew of other people he made psuedo-plans with), without a call back, and go out with a different group of friends.

George W. Bush was the guy in my fraternity that came over to drink at my table in a bar with three chicks. He'd order food and more cocktails and we'd all have a great, fun time. But before the bill came around, he'd stealthily skip out, ditch me with the fat chick and a $300 bar tab. No wait... that was Bill Clinton!

George W. Bush was really the rich guy in my fraternity who would bring strange people to my room in our house to buy drugs, when he wasn't mooching ciggies, beers, bong hits, and extra slices of pizza. He's the guy who stole porn movies out of your vintage collection. At parties, while hanging out with a bunch of good looking sorority girls, he'd let rip a juicy fart, then blame it on you.

Saturday, July 10, 2004

Happy 40th Courtney

Countrey Love dragged off to Bellvue is a must read story about one woman with a few issues. Here's a bit:
A weeping and cursing Courtney Love was rushed from her SoHo apartment to a hospital wearing a camisole and handcuffs yesterday on her 40th birthday, after telling cops she had an abortion.
You gotta love any story that begins with that opening sentence.
Last 5 Books I Saw People Reading on the Subway...

1. La Nada Cotidana by Zoe Valdes
2. New York City Travel Guide by Fodors
3. The White Lioness: A Mystery by Henning Mankell
4. The Complete Book of Essential Oils and Aromatherapy by Valerie Ann Worwood
5. Nobody's Fool by Richard Russo
Hand History, Game Film, and Living Life Backwards
"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." - Soren Kierkegaard
That's one of my favorite quotes from anyone. Kierkegaard knew his shit. Professional athletes, thanks to modern technology, are able to videotape their performances and sit down with a coach and critique every detail and decision the athlete made during their competition. That's an amazing way to figure out what you did right, also how to learn from your mistakes and gain a better understanding of your opponents. You can replay your low points over and over until you figure out how to correct them.

In poker, specifically online games at Party Poker, you can request detailed synopsis of every hand you play, or in batches of 100. Numerous poker bloggers load their hand histories into software that crunches the numbers for them and breaks down how they are playing in extremely accurate detail. I like to sift through the computer printout hand histories and my own scribbled notes and figure out my mistakes and how I played against different types of players. I'm attempting to become a winning poker player, and that requires many disciplines... one of which is decisive decision making.

I wish life gave me a printout of my daily hand history... or rather, a detailed report of the decisions I made each day. Before I go to bed each night, I could go over my entire day, moment by moment and see where I made mistakes... if I underestimated a situation and skirted around a touchy decision or I made a costly aggressive decision.

I'm a better poker player today after seeing in black and white, the end results of my decisions every day I play online. Some days the analysis gets me high; I did almost everything right and had a winning day. Other times, I thought I made the right choices... but life (insert fate, luck, Buddha, God, etc.) had a different path set for me and I lost due to circumstances outside my control. And then other days, I see mistake after mistake and poor decision making plaguing me the entire day... and those days are when I lacked focus and hade my head up my ass for whatever reason.

When I worked on Wall Street, I had a knack for noticing cycles and trends in stock prices and picking obscure winners. When I look over my hand history from Party Poker each night, I am able to pin point my strengths and weaknesses... and the next day I have a gameplan ready to roll to take advantage of my strengths and plug the holes in my liabilities.

If I could replay all the errors I made each day in my waking life, I'm sure I could spot trends or bad cycles or finally figure out answers to personal problems that have been plaguing me for decades. Unless you're on a 24 hour reality series, it's hard to figure out a detailed analysis of your everyday decision making. You pretty much have to trust the people in your life, the folks around you everyday, to point out your mistakes and weknesses. And you see how many poor decisions those people make every day... so do you really want to put your blind faith in advice and criticism from people who are barely keeping their own lives together by a single piece of fragile thread?

Humans lie all the time. The more poker I play, the more obvious it becomes for me to pick up on when people are lying to me. Computers won't lie to you. After crunching the numbers in my online poker play for about three months, I realized that I played too many marginal hands and didn't put enough faith behind my stronger hands. I quickly adjusted my play, and had the best month of poker ever in my life this past May. I spotted a trend and made the proper adjustments. I reaped the benefits of my improved play when I cashed out part of my poker bankroll to follow Phish.

Again... if I only had a computer program to crunch the numbers for my waking life, I could be told specifically like ... "You worry about things too much beyond your control. You made too many weak decisions in the late afternoon when it boiled down to jeopardizing what people thought of you, and you punked out like a pussy and let public opinion sway how you continued the rest of your journey for that day."

The blogs helps. So does my own personal non-web based journals. I try to keep a majority of my personal life off of my site to maintain a comfortable aura of privacy. I can look back, like Kierkegaard and read in between my lines to decipher my underlying feelings at the time of each entry. Sure it's easy to live life backwards, but the blog is the closest thing I have to a daily hand history. I don't have any software to tell me what I did wrong, but I have some sort of a blueprint to the frame work of my thinking mind during my waking life. Someday I'm going to figure out some of my mistakes and try to be lesser of a burden on all things in my life.
Fantasy Pauly
"Never criticize a man until you've walked a mile in his moccasins." - American Indian Proverb
Some of you have wondered what it would be like to be me for a day, even though everyone knows that the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. Well, you finally have your chance to be me, the poker player, for a day. Well, er... for a few moments.

Now, here's an actual hand that I got on Party Poker yesterday playing in a $25 NL ring game. I just sat down at the table a few minutes before this hand in question. I had no idea what type of players I was up against.

Now, you have to imagine the following said by Shana Hiatt (like in those snippets the WPT cuts to before they break to/return from a commercial):
You're Dr. Pauly in the little blind and you see your favorite hand, the Hilton Sisters (a pair of Queens). Mr. X raises under the gun doubling the big blind. You re-raised to 8x BB and Mr. X just calls. The flop is (Jh 6d 7d). You bet the pot (1/3 of your stack) and Mr. X (his stack is 2x your stack) comes over the top and pushes his stack all-in. You're Dr. Pauly, what do you do?
I'll tell you went went through my head, what I did, and the outcome on Sunday. Those damn Hilton Sisters... the life of Pauly isn't all shits and giggles some nights.

I posted this originally to the Tao of Poker.
Thank You for the Comments

I realized that I have not been very good about responding to the comments left from readers. I wish I had a service that emailed me your kick ass comments, so I could answer them as I get them. In the future, I will try my best efforts to answer and moderate your comments every day. Please don't take it personally if I never answered back. I have more than one site to monitor and sometimes, answering email and comments is the lowest on my list of things to do each day.

If you left any comments in the past week, I responded to most of them. Go back and take a peek. Thanks again for visiting and taking the time to leave your thoughts.

Friday, July 09, 2004

In Search of Schrondinger's Cat

I'm a closet physics nerd

This is one of the books I'm currently reading. In Search of Schrodinger's Cat: Quantum Physics And Reality is written by John Gribbon. That book is blowing my mind. Gribbon helps break down high end quantum physics for the every day person, much like how Thomas Friedman is able to explain the complexity of international globalism and Middle East affairs using witty and understandable examples.

For more information, read a previous post of mine about Schrondinger's Cat.

Here's a good explanation from Philospher Magazine:
The architects of quantum theory, Erwin Schrodinger... devised a simple thought experiment to make plain the absurdity of one of these implications (in quantum physics).

He imagined a closed room, or box, in which was contained a live cat and "a hellish contraption" which consisted of a phial of cyanide and a tiny amount of radioactive substance. The amount is so tiny that maybe within an hour one of the atoms decays, but equally probably none of them decays. If an atom decays then a Geiger counter triggers and via a relay activates a little hammer which breaks the container of cyanide, killing the cat.

In the everyday world, there is a fifty-fifty chance that the cat will be killed, and without looking inside the box we can say, quite happily, that the cat inside is either dead or alive. But, according to quantum theory, neither of the two possibilities open to the radioactive substance, and therefore to the cat, has any reality unless it is observed. The atomic decay has neither happened nor not happened, the cat has neither been killed nor not killed, until we look inside the box to see what has happened. Theorists who accept the standard interpretation of quantum mechanics say that the cat exists in some indeterminate state – a "superposition of states" – neither dead nor alive, until an observer actually looks into the box to see whether the cat is dead or alive.
More to come. Thanks to The Poker Penguin for pointing out the book. I'll write a review when I'm done.