Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Crispy Althea

Los Angeles, CA

Jerry Garcia at the top of his game. Althea circa 1981...


FYI... audio only.

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Talking DFW On Thinking Poker Podcast

Los Angeles, CA

 
It's been a while since I've appeared on a poker podcast. Maybe late 2011? Wow, time flies. I'm semi-retired from the poker scene and declined a few opportunities to appear on various poker pods over the last couple of years. Honestly, whenever I was asked to speak about the hot button topic of the day, I politely declined because I really didn't care (about said topic) and/or lacked anything intelligent to say (that I had not already said or written about on Tao of Poker).

Enter the Thinking Poker Podcast.

The hosts (Andrew Brokos and Nate Meyvis) are a little different. It's not your typical poker podcast. I mean, it is in the true sense of the word because the podcast is strategy-based and Andrew 'foucault' Brokos is a well-known online player. But I knew Andrew and Nate were cool about discussing other things aside from poker, like the dark side of Vegas, which was right up my alley.

Shane was actually the first-ever guest on Thinking Poker. He's been on a couple of times actually and told me it would be a fun experience. And he was right. So glad I did it.

I had not met either host of Thinking Poker in real life (although I watched Andrew play online sessions a few times), but despite the fact we never really knew each other, the conversation flowed smoothly. Nate and Andrew are two smart dudes and it's not everyday that I get a chance to discuss David Foster Wallace. So cool that I got to chat a little bit about one of our favorite authors.

Shane mentioned that he thought it was great I got to talk about Vegas a "drug" and the darkside of Vegas. It really fit into the theme of Lost Vegas, which is all about the search for purity in one of the most impure places on Earth.

Listen to my stint on the Thinking Poker Podcast - Episode 76 - Doctor Pauly McGuire. My segment starts around the 32-minute mark.

Or you can download it here.

Friday, April 25, 2014

Inside Dope: Behind the Scenes Ep. 13 [The 4/20 Show]

Los Angeles, CA

Lucky 13. This is the special 4/20 Day episode that we had recorded on 4/20. We live-streamed the show for our friends but that was more like a rough draft of this episode. Here's the actual edited episode with the audio cleaned up by our kick-ass producer DJ Trent.

So the 4/20 Show? Lots of smoking-infused hijinks. We sampled pre-rolled joints (glimpse into the future of corporate weed cigarettes), took dabs of Brown Sugar, and set off the smoke detector in the process. Shane and I had brief chat about the Gimme Shelter documentary about the Rolling Stones at Altamont, and why Benjo referred to it as a "snuff film." Shane also shared a funny story about losing an ounce of weed and shrooming on Easter at  Roseland Ballroom. I also explained what Easter really is (zombie Jesus) to Shane because he's Jewish. Yeah, lots of religious humor in honor of Easter.

In the Dope Media segment, we selected... Dave Chappelle/Neal Brennan, Don't Look Back (Bob Dylan documentary by D.A. Pennebaker), Seven Ages of Rock documentary (which G-Money recommended to me earlier in the week), and What You Want Is in the Limo: On the Road with Led Zeppelin, Alice Cooper, and the Who in 1973, the Year the Sixties Died and the Modern Rock Star Was Born by Michael Walker.

Here's the setlist...


And listen to Episode 13 - The 4/20 Show...


Download link for Episode 13.

Subscribe to Dope Stories on iTunes.

Website: www.DopeStories.com
Sound Cloud: soundcloud.com/DopeStories
Libsyn: dopestories.libsyn.com
RSS feed: http://dopestories.libsyn.com/rss
Twitter: @DopeStories

Listen to previous shows... Episode 1 , Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5, Episode 6, Episode 7, Episode 8, Episode 9, Episode 10, Episode 11, Episode 12, plus Broke Stories Ep. 1.

Also, here's my other Inside Dope posts, which give you a behind the scenes look at the creation of the first few episodes:
Inside Dope - Ep 2: Philip Seymour Hoffman and 90s Heroin Chic
Inside Dope - Ep 3: Start Up Dot Weed and L.A. Cannabis Cup
Inside Dope - Ep 4: Crack 101
Inside Dope - Ep 5: The Oxy Years
Inside Dope - Ep 6: Tripping in the House I Live In
Inside Dope - Ep 7: Greg Merson (WSOP Champion)
Inside Dope - Ep 8: Dr. Carl Hart
Inside Dope - Ep 9: Media Dope
Inside Dope - Ep 10: Ridin' Dirty
Inside Dope - Ep 11: Sean Azzariti
Inside Dope - Ep 12: International Dope
Thanks for listening. Don't forget to subscribe to Dope Stories on iTunes.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Game of Thrones, Bad Lip Reading

Los Angeles, CA

The Joker sent me this gem. Game of Thrones humor/memes. Love the Tyrion lines the best.

"Listen son, I give you 4 cents each for those vanilla wafers!"

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Writing Music: Clifford Brown, Sonny Rollins, Max Roach Quintet

Los Angeles, CA

I've been on a Clifford Brown kick and found this gem, which is almost 80 minutes worth of complete studio recordings of the quintet featuring Brown, Max Roach, and Sonny Rollins.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Human Agency: Interview and New Album

Los Angeles, CA

My good friend Jonas has been playing drums with Human Agency. They were a duo out of Denver that played electronica music. Human Agency wanted to add a live drummer to their shows, which is how Jonas entered the picture. They have been hard at work on a new album -- The Indigo Hour -- which debuts on May 20th.

Jonas got me in touch with Seamus from Human Agency and I conducted a quick interview, which I posted it over at Coventry Music. Seamus had some great things to say about the direction of the band and the recent phenomena of a mega-star DJs which is essentially a "guy with a laptop" onstage.
"I understand much of the argument many people have with this very recent surge of solo DJs with a single laptop selling out stadiums - and how eye burningly uninspiring it might seem when performed, I really do. I get it. But through the lens of a band like Human Agency, having grown up playing instruments then merging that with digital production thereafter, we spend as much time, if not much more, on our craft and sound. I'm very proud of the talented people who contributed to this record and help perform it on stage. I believe - from start to end - it's melodic, beautiful and inspired." ... click here for more of the interview.
Check out this cool promo video for The Indigo Hour...


Human Agency gave away a free download of their single Grace. Snag it here. Or stream it right now...

Monday, April 21, 2014

Faded Mornings and the Looming Death of Don Draper

Los Angeles, CA


It's been a very long time since I was faded due to marijuana.

Long time.

Seriously. I usually don't get that wasted on just weed and hash. It's sort of like smoking cigarettes for me. I've built up a tolerance and had to scale back consumption, which is why I don't dabble as much. So when I do smoke, it really hits me.

Fade on weed? It must've been four or five years. Maybe more?

I took a trip to Amsterdam with Nicky and we attempted to visit 12 hash bars inside of a 12 hour period. From noon to Midnight. We hit up a new coffeeshop every hour and smoked at least a joint in each spot. By the time we got home... we were spent. I slept like a rock that night, something that's nearly impossible for a chronic insomnia sufferer. But the overabundance of hashish and weed propelled me into the outer cosmos and made me tired enough that I could get a normal night's sleep.

I always slept well in Amsterdam... and that's because of their hash. I always sought out the strongest. Something so heavy that it hit me like a ton of bricks. So when my head hit the pillow... it stayed on the pillow.

Well, Sunday's festivities rivaled that eventful night in Amsterdam. Sunday was Easter Sunday but it happened to fall on the 20th of the month, which is a holy date for stoners everywhere. Universal  holiday.

We wanted to do something special for Dope Stories podcast in honor of 420 Day, so I suggested a live stream. I had zero experience in that department and it was a half-baked idea more than anything else. But Shane wanted to explore that idea and we decided to go for it. We usually record episodes on Tuesday, but decided to record the newest episode on Sunday to coincide with 420 Day. So we essentially added a live camera to the mix and turned it on while we recorded this special episode.

We aim to have sober tapings of Dope Stories, which means no toking during the show. We took a professional approach because we didn't want the show to devolve into a Cheech and Chong sketch or a Seth Rogan movie. But Sunday was a special day. Heck, 4/20 only comes around once a year. So we figured we would indulge on air and have fun with the weed-infused holiday.

I'm sure a lot of our friends expected Dope Stories would be a podcast about smoking weed... which meant they might have been disappointed with the actual product. We're more than a dozen episodes in and getting high on air is obviously not the emphasis.

Well... until 420 Day.

After the show ended, Shane left several treats behind, mostly concentrates or hash -- different forms ranging from "finger" hash to full-melt. Definitely tasty and extremely potent. I nearly fell asleep during Mad Men and by the time the credits rolled, I was already crawling into bed... and this was before 11pm at night.

Yeah, I ran out of gas after a full afternoon hanging out with Shane and then an evening toking hash with Nicky. My brain had reached maximum density. I smoked myself to sleep. And it was a deep slumber. Rare, but welcomed.

I woke up at 5am (to write) and I was so spaced out that I stayed in bed another hour waiting to sober up! Man, that never happens. Rare moment indeed.

I've experienced those crazy booze-drenched nights when I pounded so much that I woke up drunk the next morning (which is problematic because that means the hangover is looming overhead). But one of the best things about marijuana is the lack of a hangover. Sure, you might suffer from a little spaciness the next morning, but that's onlt if you smoking tuff. Compared to someone who tied on a big bender of beer, wine, and/or liquor, you won't have any physical symptoms of being sick... no headaches, no hangovers, no upset stomach, no regrets, nadda. That's one of the major benefits of marijuana vs. booze... zero side effects the morning after. 

However, I had a rare instance when I smoked as much product (the equivalent of what a reggae band consumes in a night) so I was definitely still faded when I woke up. It really took me twice as long to get moving in the morning. While I was still waiting to re-enter Earth's atmosphere, I re-watched Mad Men to make sure I didn't miss anything from the night before.


Yep... I didn't miss anything, but during the initial viewing I was so spaced out that I was convinced that I kept seeing ominous signs that Don Draper was going to die before the season ends.

Between Pete Campbell feeling weird in Los Angeles and spouting off about being in limbo (caught in between life and death) and the actual discussion of a funeral (Sally's roommate's mother died), I was convinced we were getting in-your-face clues to Don Draper's future demise. And these weren't clever red herrings that Mat Weiner had used in the past (teasing Pete Campbell's potential suicide, then deciding to kill off another cast member) to fuck with overzealous viewers, but rather, the heaviness of the hash had gotten my mind stuck in a loop. And that loop spelled doom for Don Draper.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Live Broadcast: Dope Stories on 4/20 Day

Los Angeles, CA

We attempted a live stream of Dope Stories in honor of 4/20 Day.



Video streaming by Ustream

To listen to previous episodes, visit Dope Stories website.

Friday, April 18, 2014

Inside Dope: Behind the Scenes Ep. 12 [International Dope]

Los Angeles, CA

It's not easy being a pothead and trying to score overseas.

Both Shane and I ran into these "how the hell are we gonna score?" issues while traveling on the international poker circuit. We decided to devote an episode to some of our "international" dope stories. And man, we barely touched the tip of the iceberg. I have a feeling we'll devote a couple more future episodes to this topic. Even my lovely girlfriend contributed to this episode with a story that happened in London.

Shane told a couple of crazy stories from the Bahamas, including a gnarly tale with a character named Mack Daddy. Shane also shared the logistics of making a trip from Monte Carlo to Paris with a side trip to Amsterdam.... yep, just to score.

My stories included the time I attended to Big Day Out music festival on Australia's Gold Coast with Schecky and Brandon. Schecky scored us backstage passes through Tool. That's when we met Kate Hudson backstage and I elaborated on how all that went down. I also spoke about a trip to Pusher Street in the Christiania section of Copenhagen, along with a brief story about how I was once accused of being a CIA agent during a business trip to South America.

Here's the setlist...


And listen to Episode 12 - International Dope...


Download link for Episode 12.

Subscribe to Dope Stories on iTunes.

Website: www.DopeStories.com
Sound Cloud: soundcloud.com/DopeStories
Libsyn: dopestories.libsyn.com
RSS feed: http://dopestories.libsyn.com/rss
Twitter: @DopeStories

Listen to previous shows.... Episode 1 , Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5, Episode 6, Episode 7, Episode 8, Episode 9, Episode 10, Episode 11, plus Broke Stories Ep. 1.

Also, here's my other Inside Dope posts, which give you a behind the scenes look at the creation of the first few episodes:
Inside Dope - Ep 2: Philip Seymour Hoffman and 90s Heroin Chic
Inside Dope - Ep 3: Start Up Dot Weed and L.A. Cannabis Cup
Inside Dope - Ep 4: Crack 101
Inside Dope - Ep 5: The Oxy Years
Inside Dope - Ep 6: Tripping in the House I Live In
Inside Dope - Ep 7: Greg Merson (WSOP Champion)
Inside Dope - Ep 8: Dr. Carl Hart
Inside Dope - Ep 9: Media Dope
Inside Dope - Ep 10: Ridin' Dirty
Inside Dope - Ep 11: Sean Azzariti
Thanks for listening. Don't forget to subscribe to Dope Stories on iTunes.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Have A Nice Decade

Los Angeles, CA

In 1995, I vaguely recall PBS airing a documentary about the history of pop music. I think it aired on Sunday evenings spread out over a month or so. It was a 10-hour doc that tried to span the origins of rock music from the late 40s all the way to the mid-1990s.

This was Vol. 8 and the episode about 1970s bands titled Have A Nice Decade and included some great interviews with David Bowie, David Gilmour, Alice Cooper, George Clinton, and Ozzy. The early 70s ushered in the rise of corporate rock, the height of technological innovations in recording, and the peak (or rock bottom) of drug culture. It was a wide-open era of music that branched off into a thousand different genres and sub-genres.

Man oh man... I missed all the subtle and not-so-subtle drug references in this...

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

The Collapse of the American Dream

Los Angeles, CA

This is an animated take on the collapse of the American Dream, which has been re-financed by your credit score.

Monday, April 14, 2014

RIP Michael Ruppert

Los Angeles, CA

Michael Ruppert passed away on Sunday night. Self-inflicted gunshot wound. Apparent suicide.

Although we started Tao of Fear years before we ever saw Collapse documentary, we were certainly influenced by Ruppert, an ex-cop turned investigative journalist. You might have seen him appear on the Joe Rogan Experience. But he was full-blown doom and gloom in Collapse. He really cut through all the bullshit and let you inside his world view, which includes peak oil and how we're living inside a ponzi scheme of a financial system. In short, we're on the brink of collapse. He's not someone who's fear mongering because the collapse is already underway. Just a matter of time before everyone else wakes up and see how fucked we really are.

Here's Ruppert in Collapse...

Friday, April 11, 2014

Good Times: JJ's Black Jesus

Los Angeles, CA

I recently finished reading Jimmie Walker's autobiography Dyn-o-mite! Excellent book with tons of great stories of how Jimmie went from a skinny kid in the Bronx, to working stand-up opening up for Black Pather rallies, to moving out to Los Angeles when he got his own sitcom and hiring an unknown dorky kid from Indiana to help him write jokes. Yeah, that last person was David Letterman. Jimmie had some great dirt on Jay Leno too. General consensus from every comedian that worked in LA in the 70s/80s, is that Leno is a fucking jagoff. Walker goes into some of the sordid details. Now, that's what I want to read from a memoir!

Thank God for YouTube. I did a deep dive of Jimmie Walker stuff and came across a classic episode of Good Times, when JJ causes some controversy when he paints a black Jesus.

Man, this episode would NEVER get across the censors today.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Inside Dope: Behind the Scenes Ep. 11 [Sean Azzariti]

Los Angeles, CA

We had a special guest for Episode 11... Sean Azzariti,a  medicinal marijuana advocate and Iraq War vet who returned home with PTSD after two tours.

I'm friends with Sean and have known him for several years. Our mutual friend Jonas from Denver introduced us and we've been chummy ever since. I really didn't get to know the details of Sean's life when we first met, but I eventually learned about his constant battle with PTSD.

Sean struggled after he was given a heavy cocktail of pharmecutical drugs from different shrinks, but he didn't get any better until he started self-medicating with medicinal marijuana. He's since become an  advocate for using MMJ to treat PTSD. It's not listed as one of the approved ailments, but Sean is fighting for a bill that would add PTSD to that list.

Sean was tapped to become the first person to buy recreational weed. It's a great story, which he tells in this recent episode of Dope Stories. We spoke about a lot off different subjects and it was really one of my favorite episodes to date (up there with Dr. Carl Hart).

When Shane approached me to co-host Dope Stories with him, I mentioned Sean Azzariti as a potential guest. I'm so glay we finally got him in. It was really an enlightening chat.

Here's the setlist...


And listen here...


Download link for Episode 11.

Subscribe to Dope Stories on iTunes.

Website: www.DopeStories.com
Sound Cloud: soundcloud.com/DopeStories
Libsyn: dopestories.libsyn.com
RSS feed: http://dopestories.libsyn.com/rss
Twitter: @DopeStories

***

Listen to previous shows.... Episode 1 , Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5, Episode 6, Episode 7, Episode 8, Episode 9, Episode 10, plus Broke Stories Ep. 1.

Also, here's my other Inside Dope posts, which give you a behind the scenes look at the creation of the first few episodes:
Inside Dope - Ep 2: Philip Seymour Hoffman and 90s Heroin Chic
Inside Dope - Ep 3: Start Up Dot Weed and L.A. Cannabis Cup
Inside Dope - Ep 4: Crack 101
Inside Dope - Ep 5: The Oxy Years
Inside Dope - Ep 6: Tripping in the House I Live In
Inside Dope - Ep 7: Greg Merson (WSOP Champion)
Inside Dope - Ep 8: Dr. Carl Hart
Inside Dope - Ep 9: Media Dope
Inside Dope - Ep 10: Ridin' Dirty
Thanks for listening. Don't forget to subscribe to Dope Stories on iTunes.

Wednesday, April 09, 2014

Rothko Moments [Mad Men]

Los Angeles, CA

During an early episode of Mad Men (middle of Season 2), Bert Cooper purchased a Rothko. He only paid $10,000 for it! In 2014 dollars, that's closer to $75,000, maybe $80,000. Of course, a Rothko of that sort is worth substantially more. A Rothko would fetch a several million today. At least 8 figures. Heck, one Rothko went for $75M at a Sotherby's auction in 2012.

Here's the infamous Rothko scene when a few of the copywriters sneak into their boss's office to take a look at his new painting...


I wrote a couple of things about Mad Men including their drug-related episodes from speed to weed to LSD. Check out...
Speed Men
Pete Campbell's Magical Mystery Tour
Roger in the Sky With Diamonds

Tuesday, April 08, 2014

Writing Music: St. Paul and the Broken Bones

Los Angeles, CA

Love the name of the band. Of course, we share the same name. But I ain't no saint. But sometimes my body is so beat up, it feels like I'm lugging around broken bones.

Close your eyes and you'd think this tune below (Call Me) was recorded in the early 70s. But it's a post-modern, all-white soul band with church origins. The lead singer doesn't look anything like your typical front man. He looks more like the guy sitting in the cubicle next to you. That's why this band fucking rocks. So unassuming.

St. Paul and the Broken Bones is a throwback to 70s soul. They hail from Alabama but they're one of the hottest bands, considering it's neither country nor electronica. They've impressed critics especially prickly unimpressed music bloggers, but you just have to listen to 30 seconds of a live show to realize that you're hooked. It's call soul music for a reason and these guys deliver in an age of watered-down, auto-tuned derivatives of music that used to be cutting edge. Yeah, these guys are the real deal. They cut through all those poppy bullshit and crafted a magnificent album... Half the City.

St. Paul and the Broken Bones unleashed their gritty, southern-fried soul in February. In a short time, they've already made an impressive impression. Grab St. Paul's new album. Only cost $9. Support this band because I want to keep hear them making music over the next decade.

FYI... check out this good interview with St. Paul's frontman Paul Janeway.

Here's a catchy tune Call Me...


And here's a live performance of I'm All Torn Up from last April...


And here's a classic cover...

Monday, April 07, 2014

Silicon Valley - First Episode

Los Angeles, CA

Like a smart drug dealer, HBO is giving away their newest batch of drugs for free... and then they'll jack up the price.

Here is the first episode of Silicon Valley, which debuted last night. It's a new project from Mike Judge (Office Space). I dug it, but some of my techie friends were not impressed.

Watch via HBO's YouTube channel...

Sunday, April 06, 2014

St. Vincent - Lithium

Los Angeles, CA

Kurt Cobain died twenty years ago yesterday. I wrote a little something about that weird anniversary. It really was a super short piece because if I kept going, I could have cranked out 40,000 words about the implications of the death of Cobain (and that doesn't include any conspiracy stuff, which would double the rant to 80K).

Anyway, all of my Hi-hybrid friends (hippies/hipsters aka hippiesters) are going ape shit over St. Vincent's sleepy, yet fuzzy cover of Lithium...

Saturday, April 05, 2014

Early April L.A. Pic Dump

Los Angeles, CA

Here are some images from the last couple of days including a quick trip up to El Matador beach...

Friday, April 04, 2014

Aliens, Y'all

Los Angeles, CA


EXT - ROOFTOP GARDEN - LATE AFTERNOON

Bill Clinton eats his breakfast while glimpsing at porn tumblrs via an iPad. Obama drops a file onto Clinton's breakfast plate.

BILL
What the hell, Barry?

OBAMA
Why didn't you fucking tell me?

BILL
You never asked.

OBAMA
For fuck's sake Bill. Is that... a double dong?

BILL
(Biting down on his knuckles)
Heavenly? Twins too.

OBAMA
Speaking of the heavens, when the fuck were you going to tell me?

BILL
(Resumes eating breakfast and smirking while balancing iPad)
It's not my job. Cheney shoulda filled you in.

OBAMA
You know that smamry fucker Dick. 

BILL
What a jagoff.

OBAMA
Dick doesn't give up anything unless I bring him those cupcakes. 

BILL
I love them cupcakes too. The ones from Beverly Hills.

OBAMA
Sprinkles? That chic joint charges $45 for a cupcake.

BILL
Next time you go, pick up a six-pack for Old Bill.

OBAMA
There's not going to be a next time if this intel is correct.

BILL
(Slowly puts down ipad and sighs)
Barry... you gotta stop listening to those DOOM-tards. 

OBAMA
We're paying Halliburton big bucks to keep tabs on the Greys.

 BILL
You're paying them to tell you spooky ghost stories. 

OBAMA
Look at the projections.

BILL
Don't listen to analysts. It's like little kids sitting around a campfire. Trying to out-do each other by telling the scariest story.

OBAMA
So it's not true?

BILL
Well... it's not as extreme as you think.

OBAMA
The Greys are breeding us for food, Bill. How could you not tell fucking me?

BILL
Hey, what they do is their own business, right? 

OBAMA
Kidnapping American citizens is not part of the deal. That's what New Foundland is for.

BILL
They don't bitch when we use their technology to profit selling phones and flat screens.

OBAMA
Don't you see something morally wr-

BILL
Barry, you're going above your pay grade.

OBAMA
Why do we sit by and let them do whatever they want?

BILL
We all gotta eat.

OBAMA
The Greys are eating humans. We have a moral obligation to the people.

BILL
Barry, enough with the people already. No press here. Just us. 

OBAMA
We have to stop this. It violates the terms of the treaty. The people...

BILL
Fuck the people. I got shit to watch. I got one more day before Ice Queen gets home. I have to finish Game of Thrones. 

OBAMA
How far are you?

BILL
Start of season 3. But I already know about the Red Wedding.

OBAMA
So, Bill... have you ever... ummmm, seen a dragon? 

BILL
Like a real dragon? 

OBAMA
Yeah. Not, one of those albino clones that Putin had.

BILL
Cheney showed me his. Once. Just once.

OBAMA
No fucking way.

BILL
Yeah. Little surly that day. Wasn't pretty sight.

OBAMA
What went down?

BILL
Godzilla blew up a secret service agent. Two staffers too. 

OBAMA
(In Clay Davis voice)
Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

BILL
WHOOOOOOOOSH. Gone in a flash.

OBAMA
Jesus Christ. Their families... what did we end up telling them?

BILL
Oh, Barry, stop being so damn sensitive. You're supposed to coast through your second term, not worrying about fantasy tales like dragons and little grey men. 

OBAMA
I'm so out of the loop. Last guy to know. Frustrating.

BILL
Don't worry about it. Relax. You need to smoke more.

OBAMA
Man, you know... I'd like to. But, I got a mountain of shit on my plate. 

BILL
More the reason to get lit.

OBAMA
And you know the fucking press. 

BILL
Fucking jerkoffs.

OBAMA
They had a bug up my ass the last time I let you aboard Air Force One and you hotboxed the bathroom with two interns.

BILL
(Big smile)
Awesome night. Sweet Willy big milestone. Mile High Club numero 1,000.
(Fumbles in jacket, pulls out a joint and lights it)

OBAMA
I'd like to, but you know my old lady. She gets on my case when I smoke. 

BILL
(Makes whipping sound)

OBAMA
She thinks I get lazy and just want to sit around and watch basketball.

BILL
What's the line in the Kentucky game? 

OBAMA
1 and a half. At least it was.

BILL
I love those Kentucky cheerleaders. My. Kind. Of. Honey. You know the saying, "I get older but they stay the same age."

Thursday, April 03, 2014

Inside Dope: Behind the Scenes of Ep. 010 [Ridin' Dirty]

Los Angeles, CA

I figured at some point we'd have to record an episode with one of us on the road. We were actually lucky that we were both in Los Angeles for the first 9 episodes (10 if you include Broke Stories). But this week, Shane was in Colorado after hitting the road for an impromptu roadtrip (Vegas > New Mexico > Colorado). I was stationed in Los Angeles at the Dope Stories studio with our producer Trent and Shane called into us via Skype. Man, Trent is so fucking skilled as a sound engineer that he cleaned up the audio very well.

Episode 10 focused on the American road and the freedom of being on the road. This episode was story-centric. So if you dig hearing our "dope stories" then this episode is right up your alley.

Shane told his infamous Amtrak story. I won't reveal too much. Listen to yourself. He originally told me this story at the Bellagio in Las Vegas like 6 years ago and it blew me away. That was also the same day I learned about Moth, because Shane framed that story as something he'd love to tell as his first Moth story. It's a doozy.

I told  a couple stories about being a foolish 20-something and trying to smuggle contraband. There's a good tale about mushrooms and using a Jedi mind trick on a security guard on the way to see Phish play Halloween show in Las Vegas (c. 1998). I also had an encounter with a drug dog team on a Kansas highway. Plus, I met Bill Murray while in the middle of a weed deal.

In this week's segment of Dope Media, we touched on a variety of things ranging to the new episode of High Maintenance, Gil Scott-Heron, Murder City book by Charles Bowden, the Tommy Chong documentary about going to prison for selling bongs, the doc film Mistaken for Strangers (directed by the brother of the lead singer of The National), and Shane's affinity for two films: Lost in America and Easy Rider.

Here is the "setlist"...


Listen to episode 010...


Download link for Episode 10.

Subscribe to Dope Stories on iTunes.

Website: www.DopeStories.com
Sound Cloud: soundcloud.com/DopeStories
Libsyn: dopestories.libsyn.com
RSS feed: http://dopestories.libsyn.com/rss
Twitter: @DopeStories

***
Listen to previous shows.... Episode 1 , Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4, Episode 5, Episode 6, Episode 7, Episode 8, Episode 9, plus Broke Stories Ep. 1.

Also, here's my other Inside Dope posts, which give you a behind the scenes look at the creation of the first few episodes:
Inside Dope - Ep 2: Philip Seymour Hoffman and 90s Heroin Chic
Inside Dope - Ep 3: Start Up Dot Weed and L.A. Cannabis Cup
Inside Dope - Ep 4: Crack 101
Inside Dope - Ep 5: The Oxy Years
Inside Dope - Ep 6: Tripping in the House I Live In
Inside Dope - Ep 7: Greg Merson (WSOP Champion)
Inside Dope - Ep 8: Dr. Carl Hart
Inside Dope - Ep 9: Media Dope
Thanks for listening. Don't forget to subscribe to Dope Stories on iTunes.

Wednesday, April 02, 2014

Head Shit

Los Angeles, CA


My uncle was a plumber. He said it was dirty work, hard manual labor, but decent pay in an industry that will never disappear because "people's shit always gets backed up."

You know what type of work you're getting yourself into if you chose the plumbing profession. I spent a summer as a plumber's assistant and I learned first hand that it wasn't pretty. I also learned that pothead plumbers were very resourceful and could turn many parts into smoking devices... pipes, bongs, whatever.

I tried to learn basic plumbing a couple of years ago. I figured I needed a trade to fall back on. The future was grim. If survived a post-apocalypse scenario, then I needed a skill that was necessary to help rebuild. And if the world never blew up, then I still needed to fade technology because the creators of the written word are dinosaurs.

I'm waiting for the day of reckoning when writers are replaced by the machines. Or if the dumbification of American continues (we're in the middle of a controlled demolition of intellect and common fucking sense), then our society will become so fucking illiterate and incapable of original thought that they'll seek out non-cerebral forms of entertainment. Or if the wealth distribution gap continues to grow, that even the few who can read will be so broke that they rather spend what little money they have on something else like food.

**

Think about a lavish meal in one of those snooty eight star eateries or think about your favorite high-end steak joint. So many of us covet that meal, yet a tiny percentage are willing to put in the work or have the necessary skill to make that happen. Everyone wants to take the shortcut, which is why we're now a nation of entitled angleshooters and self-absorbed trolls.

You can't just show up at the restaurant, sit down and have the meal waiting for you. It's not as simple as going to the grocery store or Whole Foods and buying everything there. It doesn't work like that. It takes time. Time to cultivate the ingredients.

And I'm not talking about prepping the meal and cooking it. I'm talking about starting from square one... going out to the slaughterhouse and killing the fucking cow yourself, then butchering it down to find the exact cut of beef you're looking for. Or how about getting on a boat and hauling a fresh catch out of the ocean? Same thing goes every ingredient in the recipe. Grow the damn veggies, harvest them, and bring them into the kitchen. Acquire every spice from the farthest corners of the globe. Milk the cows. Crush the grapes. Wring the chicken's neck with your own hands.

That magnificent meal you dream about? It took years to come together. Do you know how long it takes to fatten up calf? Ever grow your own veggies? Did they last? Or did the critters and bugs destroy your veggies or local wildlife gobble them up for breakfast?

That fancy meal took years to make... and then it's gone in a matter of minutes, and eventually shat out a few hours later.

We've lost sight of how that process really works. Everyone wants the meal, but very few do their own dirty work. But in the end, your culinary pleasure was really the work of hundreds of invisible people who get up at sunrise every day and get their jobs done. Patient toil. Under appreciated. Never thanked.

Enjoy your scallops.

**

I once asked a neuroscientist if he would let his kids play tackle football. He said a quick no, followed up by "I don't even let them ride rollercoasters."

That statement solidified my assertion that being a writer is like riding a rollercoaster. The arduous daily grind seems like harmless fun, yet it is akin to getting knocked in the noggin' one too many times.

Rollercoasters are the core of theme parks and rooted in childhood nostalgia. Fear and adrenaline. A perfect rollercoaster ride is an exhilarating thrill that begins with an anxiety-ridden, creaky, slow ride up to the top before the first terrifying drop, followed by a blur of ups and downs and upside-down swirls. Eventually all that head banging comes at a cost, according to the men and women of science.

Staying on the ride too long will lead to brain damage. I keep telling myself that Bill Hicks mantra about life is really just an amusement park ride, but even something fun can be detrimental to your health if you keep banging on your own coconuts.

Tuesday, April 01, 2014

Introducing... Broke Stories Podcast

Los Angeles, CA


I'm expanding the podcasting empire with Shane. We both got bored with Dope Stories and decided to focus on a topic that's closer to our heart... stories about going broke. Shane has tons of broke stories and I spent most of my life as a starving artist type. It's natural that we gravitated to a new topic. My girlfriend suggested we do a show about the stories surrounding our financial difficulties... and we turned her suggestion into a reality.

Introducing... the debut episode of Broke Stories:
Broke Stories - Episode 1
Time: 56:01
Hosts: Shane and Pauly
Producer: DJ Trent

Description: Shane and Pauly created a new podcast about going broke. Pauly's broke stories include shoplifting CDs in the East Village, meeting a weed dealer at a country club in Atlanta, selling his hair in Seattle, losing a $6,000 bet on a March Madness basketball game, blowing his poker winnings on Phish tour, and getting stiffed by a bookie. Shane's broke stories include winning his first prop bet inside a Bronx diner, panhandling for 25 cents to take a crosstown bus, betting/losing on tennis matches during summer camp in Maine, and taking a wrong turn along the way to a Rainbow Gathering in Montana.
This is the setlist...


Listen to episode 1 here:


Download link for Episode 1.

Subscribe to Broke Stories on iTunes.

Follow @BrokeStories on Twitter.