Thursday, October 31, 2002

I had lunch with Jessica in midtown today. She bought me Costa Rican food at one of our favorite midtown eateries... Cosi. Anyhoo, Jessica was all dressed up in costume for Halloween... as a BLONDE!!!!. And it really made me laugh. One of the best costumes I saw all day!!! Although, it was a tough call with a broker from the 35th floor, who came downstairs dressed like a homeless person, long raggy coat, no shoes, and walked up and down all over the trading floor jangling a cup filled with change and harassing evryone that refused to make eye contact with him. I heard he made more money in less than an hour than I do all day... which made me wonder, "What the fuck am I doing here!!"
It's Halloween and I am not wearing a costume today... aside from my suit, which is my costume everyday anyway! Actually today, I am pretending I am a "THEY" agent. I look like an FBI agent today... I have been walking around asking random people for their identification.

Here is a short list of my previous Halloween costumes:
• Spiderman (Age 6)
• CHIPS policeman (Age 7)
• Soldier (Age 8)
• Vampire (Age 9)
• Monster with mask (Age 10)
• Old man (Age 11)
• Bum (Age 12)
• Blues Brother (Age 13)
• Ted Kennedy (Age 20)
• Museum Security Guard (Age 22)
• I wore a Hawaiian Shirt and walked around with a Blow Up Doll (age 24)
• Man in Black (MIB) (Age 25)
• Priest (Age 19, 21, 26, 28)
• Nun (Age 27)
• Man with One Red Shoe (Age 29)

Stephen A. speaks out... on Smack Dealing Cops in Seattle

Here is an e-mail he sent me this Monday:

Yes, speaking of dope, Re: the Henry Miller quote.

Today, an in uniform Seattle policeman was arrested selling heroin on the corner of Broadway (and East Roy I belive), it appers this 2 or 3 yr. veteran of the force was shaking down dealers for the yam yam and giving it to other more friendly dealers. It seems he felt there was nothing wrong with drug dealing on his beat, he just did not want bad drugs to be dealt to people. Well, I can kind of understand that sentiment as a former heroin user of about 30 years ago, but , if I could make one minor suggestion or perhaps ask a question, why did he need to be in uniform and in his car when he was free dealing?

Was this to engender trust to the street addicts that you can trust the man who wears the blue not to sell you bad smack , or if you buy it from this cop he perhaps will look the other way, or if you are a heroin dealer, look out because this Seattle police officer is in the same trade and is expanding his territory and will offer free dime bags to the friendlys... for myself, I think we have enough people selling heroin on the streets we do not need a cop doing it, I admire the desire to see heroin addicts get clean dope, sterile needles and assistance if they choose to get it. But if the cops are gonna start dealing, then just legalize all the drugs and let the people do what they want, beacuse the cops are not doing the job they fell they have to do, put addicts in jail. How about treatment instead? Worked for me.... you can blog this if you want to Paul.

Salukis,
Noonan

P.S. In an update to the cop story, he was shaking down heroin dealers and exchanging the yam-yam for pot! The free enterprise system at work!

Wednesday, October 30, 2002

An e-mail from a stranger...

This is an e-mail I found in my inbox on Monday morning... a fellow contestant from Project Greenlight stumbled upon the Tao and read some of my PGL blogs. I was upset this weekend, and I am much better now, and have begun to move forward regarding Charlie's Goldfish, and this e-mail from Alex Bernstein, someone I never met before was a nudge in the right direction. He felt the need to respond, and I am grateful. So I figure I'd share it with y'all:

Pauly -

Just read your blog about PGL. (I'm probably the thousandth person to
respond to you like this. Found you in the first place, as I was trolling
the net for others doing PGL.) Don't beat yourself up for not making the
top 250. I think criteria for making the top 250 (275 actually) - is
tremendously harsh - and the chance that you can get a solid group of the
lowest common denominator reviewers is a true crapshoot. That being said -
for every utter idiot who didn't grade your scripts fairly - you probably
got at least one fair review that's worth taking into consideration upon
your next project or rewrite.

I know I got a couple decent reviews - and I got some reviews where clearly
I had an idiot that blindly marked poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor, poor
- in every column - irregardless of what the category was (structure,
pacing, etc. etc.). I don't know if you got similar reviews - but there are
certainly people out there who make blind marks like that. And these people
obviously have issues they have to deal with - and can ruin the contest for
everyone.

Personally, I submitted three scripts - and got reviews all over the place.
A few of them were thoughtful with very decent suggestions. But I got my
share of idiots - and they'll capsize you. Of the 12 scripts I read (and I
never got a chance to read yours, btw) - only one made it into the final
275. At least one other I read deserved to. But if you don't get four good
reviewers, it really doesn't matter.

Perhaps there should be more criteria for reviewers? A screening process?
Make everyone review "Casablanca" - (or a "Casablanca" quality script no
one's familiar with?) and people who mark "poor poor poor" - aren't
permissioned to review... I don't know if there's a good answer....

Still, you're not alone in feeling frustrated.

Good luck in the future!

Alex Bernstein


Tuesday, October 29, 2002

"Man does not recognize what a gem he has in woman and that through the experience of truly loving her, of giving himself up to her, he learns his greatest lesson in life." - Henry Miller
Here is an e-mail I got from Jessica. She responded to the e-mail that Dave Simanoff wrote me, and more specifically this line: "I hope others read it and share their thoughts about what your writing as meant to them."

Here is Jessica's response:

I write this as a writer...

Your writing has meant the world to me, given me strength and
inspiration. You told me... that you felt I was imitating you. That
was no accident. I admire you as a writer because you go forth
without fear, and venture with words into places lesser men would
never dare. I have always felt this way about you. Sometimes I
have become depressed reading your work because I felt as though
I might fall terribly short in its shadow. And I still often feel that way.
But instead of hindering me, that self-doubt of mine has pushed me.
Pushed me to write more, write better. Before you were back in my life,
whenever I would write something of which I was the least bit proud, I
would say to myself, 'Would Pauly like this?' You have set the
bar by which I often measure myself as a writer. Thank you for that."

Monday, October 28, 2002

Jessica sent me this quote:

"We (Americans) take to dope, the dope which is worse by far than opium or hashish - I mean the newspapers, the radio, the movies. Real dope gives you the freedom to dream your own dreams; the American kind forces you to swallow the perverted dreams of men whose only ambition is to hold their job regardless of what they are bidden to do." - Henry Miller

Sunday, October 27, 2002

The Tampa Tribune's finest writer Dave Simanoff had this to say: "As far as I'm concerned, Project Greenlight doesn't know what it's missing."

Thanks, Dawg. Read the e-mail he just sent me:

Do not obsess on the mindless words of a moronic reviewer who wouldn't
know good work if it bit him or her on the ass.

Pauly, you've done very impressive work here. I'm not saying it's the
best screenplay ever written in the history of filmmaking, but it's a
damn good effort and you should be nothing but proud. I, for one, am
envious of what you have done.

As a writer, you approach projects with fearlessness and optimism.
You're not afraid to take risks. You're not afraid to experiment. These
traits shine through in all your projects -- writing a screenplay on a
nearly impossible deadline, steering your e-stories through the hands
of so many authors, writing and editing Truckin', and on and on.

I am, quite frankly, jealous. Keep in mind that I'm a reporter: I have
made a career out of writing. And never forget that it was you, Pauly,
you inspired me to jump back into the world of creative writing.

My words aren't intended as puffery: do not let them go to your head.
I'm not trying to prop up your ego. I'm just trying to give you a
little perspective in light of your Project Greenlight disappointment.

I hope you blog this on the Tao, and I hope others read it and share
their thoughts about what your writing has meant to them.

In admiration and appreciation,
Dave
"The story never seems to go anywhere..."

First of all thanks to everyone for their support... during the last few weeks, and in the last day or so. Your kind words and praises of encouragement are keeping me from falling head face into the gutter...

It has been almost 34 hours since I got the bad news from Project Greenlight about my script Charlie's Goldfish. At first, I was surprised because (my ego) told me that Charlie's Goldfish was an average script with potential to make it into the Top 250. I knew Charlie's Goldfish was flawed, but I also felt it was better than last year's winner. Alas, I am shocked and disappointed that I failed to meet my goal and achieve the objective I set out for when I began this project.

Most of you who really know me, know this:

I didn't really enter to "size myself up against America's best screenwriters." FUCK THAT! I entered because I wanted to win the whole thing.

I wanted to win so I could selfishly call up all the assholes and retards who rejected me (professionally and personally) over the years and told me I was a stupid fool for following my dreams and being passionate about my calling as a writer... and I wanted to call them up and say, "Watch HBO the next few weeks," and then follow it up with a sincere: "Fuck you guys!"

And yes, the rejection is humbling and ego shattering and I have been feeling dizzy all morning and I think alot of that has to do with some of the negative reviews people said about Charlie's Goldfish.

"Overall the movie could have used more drama... the story never seems to go anywhere..."

I cannot get this sentence out of my head.

"Overall the movie could have used more drama... the story never seems to go anywhere..."

You see? No matter how many good reviews I get, no matter how many people tell me it was a good script, I cannot help but hear those words rattling around inside my head...

"The story never seems to go anywhere..."

It is true. I failed to tell my story effectively.

Yesterday, I kept making all these excuses:
I wrote the screenplay in one week...
If I got two better reviews perhaps I could have made it...
The audience is just not saavy enough to get my words...
If I had more time to work on it and develop the characters...


In the end, they are all just that... excuses.

The flaws in Charlie's Goldfish are a harsh reflection of myself as a person and are the specific reasons why I am still an unpublished writer. My sadness today reflects my realization of my own hostile truth: I failed to demonstrate my best effort.

Once again I had an opportunity of a lifetime, and I pissed it all away on the story that... "never seems to go anywhere..."

Saturday, October 26, 2002

'Failed Artist' Woody Allen Talks Up European Film, Critical of Hollywood Just the article to blog after finding out of my rejection from PGL. Perhaps I should be going to Europe?

Here's some accurate quips from Woody Allen: "I've always had a very critical attitude to Hollywood. Essentially, it's a place where people spend a huge amount of money and yet make very few, if any, decent films... If I compare U.S. films to the European films I saw as a child, the European ones were so much more original, rich and imaginative, and they really contributed to the development of cinema as an art form... I've never really seen the same thing from Hollywood, which always has one eye focused on entertainment and money..."
Sad News...

My script Charlie's Goldfish was not selected to make it into the Top 250 for Project Greenlight.

Friday, October 25, 2002

I just got this e-mail:

Subj: Your Application as a Condom tester
Date: Friday, October 25, 2002 3:05:32 PM
From: condom_tester@condomi.com
To: mcgruppppppp 

Dear Tenzin McGrupp

Thank you for applying for the position of Condom Tester at condomi UK.
Your application will be processed and you will be contacted within 30 days
if you are chosen by condomi to be one of its Condom Testers.

Thanks

condomi Research & Development
I will find out from PGL in less than 12 hours my fate as a screenwriter in Hollyweird. The suits and Matt & Ben will tell me I am TOP 250 material or not!

At any rate, my job on Wall Street is as stable as Anna Nicole Smith jumping on an old trampoline after she swallowed a handful of horse tranquilizers... and I have to perpare myself to find another job... so I decided to fill out the application for Condom Tester which can be found on the Condomi website. It takes a couple of minutes and they ask a lot of funny and personal questions... I will share some of my answers later...

For now, I'm on the PGL home stretch... my hands are starting to sweat, and I must admit, I have been nervous all afternoon and can't focus on work. I had been fairly cool with finishing all my reviews, and been chill all week, but now, I seriously must say, I'm starting to get anxious and dizzy! I just want this to be over with! OK... 11 hours, 58 minutes and counting....
Blogger had been down all afternoon...
"Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before," Bokonon tells us. "He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way." - Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle"
Brit Speak 101... I was reading my last script to review for PGL and it was written by a Brit, and it takes place in London and I had all these questions about slang and certain words I didn't know, or I couldn't find in my dictionary, so I was dumbfounded about the Queen's English. So I decided to ask my expert on all things British, the one and only Keren. Here is what she wrote back to me:

As for your linguistic issues - I'll do my best:
• When someone has "sussed" something they've worked it out (or figured it out).
• A "ponce" is an idiot.
• "Punters" are customers.
• Something "naff" is something tacky or cheesy (a person can also be naff).
• A "wally" is an idiot or moron - "don't be a wally" is an expression.
• A "prat" is also an idiot.
• While neither "prat" or "ponce" are rude words they're less likely to be used by children as "wally" is. I suppose that "wally" is just a harmless way to call someone an idiot, its almost silly, while the other two are idiot/asshole. Like you might see a guy in a flashy car on a cellphone with a blond on his arm and call him a ponce or a prat but you wouldn't call him a wally. Hope that makes sense.
• Saying that someone is bent is saying that he's gay... "Bent as a nine Bob note" is an expression.

Thursday, October 24, 2002

From my "sources" in California...

"A warning came from FBI headquarters in Washington, with the alert, labeled "law enforcement sensitive," warned of possible attacks Friday against sites in Sacramento and New York City."
Woody Allen Says: 'I Don't Deserve' Top Spanish Prize

Here's a bit: MADRID (Reuters) - U.S. film director Woody Allen said Thursday he did not feel worthy to rank with the likes of the Brazilian soccer team and playwright Arthur Miller in winning one of Spain's most prestigious cultural prizes.
Chechens Seize Moscow Theater, Taking as Many as 600 Hostages One woman has already been killed. The guerrillas had wired themselves and the three-story music hall with explosives and appeared to be preparing for an assault by the police.
Project Greenlight will tell me in 39 hours whether or not Charlie's Goldfish got selected in the Top 250 scripts. Round 1 ends tonigth at Midnight (PCT). I have completed all 4 script reviews and both scene revies. I will blog more later. Keep your fingers crossed!
First of all, when I woke up this morning, it was 35 degrees! The temp is 37 right now, a vast improvement. Man, its WINTER for sure here in the big city (its colder down in lower Manhattan b/c the wind whips off NY harbor.)

ANYWAY.... when I got to Wall Street this morning, at 6:58 am, there were all this EXTRA security & cops and there were all these long lines of people in front of the Wall Street Regency Hotel... it turns out that they are in line b/c AMERICAN IDOL 2 are holding an open casting call/auditions this morning. Because the crowd was too huge, the producers had to give out wristbands to the few people they can see this morning.

All these people want to be famous... I was looking at faces, trying to figure out who might be a good Charlie or Monica for my film.

Anyway, the majority of the lot are a bunch of losers with mediocre talent at best, if u ask me... who gets up this early to stand in line in the freezing cold... just to be humiliated on TV??

Wednesday, October 23, 2002

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall." -Confucius
Jessica comments on the new FOX drama Girls Club, an hour show about three young female lawyers in San Fran, it was created by the guy who came up with Ally McBeal's silly show. Here's what she has to say:

"I've seen the ads and the posters for months, and I only have one thing to say:

FUCK THOSE BITCHES!

Those pretty little whores; I could write a book on how much I hate them. Maybe I will. The new novel will be called: "THOSE FUCKING CUNTS ON GIRLS CLUB."

I'm watching football."
A friend of mine works in Washington and here's what he has to say about the recent Sniper Stuff:

"This dude I work with who is former FBI swears up and down that this isn't al-Qaeda. Says it a random crazy motherfucker. I think I agree. Another theory: this is an al-Qaeda tactic to take all available resources away from other security details, so that al-Q can do something worse. In other words, this could all be a diversionary tactic. That would be ugly."

My take:

Theory 1: After hearing about the most recent rumor of $10 Million in exchange for not killing school kids, leads me to formulate the opinion that the sniper is an American, a white guy middle aged, some military and/or college education, probably divorced, with no kids. Terrorists want death not cash.

Theory 2: It is a diversionary tactic from al-Qaeda and something big is going down in the DC area.

Theory 3: Diversionary tactic from the "powers to be" to keep everyone's attention focused on fear and the sniper, instead of more important issues, like Iraq, the economy, anti-terrorism laws being passed by Congress, mid term elections, etc...

Tuesday, October 22, 2002

Monday's Attack on Internet Largest Ever Read up, hackers only blitzed for about an hour, so no major problems were noticed. However, if they kept it up, shit could have gone crazy. American computer nerds? Unemployed techies? Chinese hackers? Al-Qaeda? The FBI has no clue who did it...

Here's a bit: "The heart of the Internet sustained its largest and most sophisticated attack ever, starting late Monday, according to officials at key online backbone organizations. Around 5:00 p.m. EST, a 'distributed denial of service' (DDOS) attack struck the 13 "root servers" that provide the primary roadmap for almost all Internet..."
"We are always arriving and departing, it is also true that we are eternally anchored. One's destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things." - Henry Miller
The TAO is down, due to some sort of server problems with Blogger. If you are reading this, they must have solved it.
I seem to have caught some sort of flu bug. I have been ill for a good 48 hours now. Not in the mood to blog. More later, I hope.

Sunday, October 20, 2002

I recently saw Manhattan a 1979 Woody Allen film... instead of writing a nice synopsis, here's one I found online at rottentomatoes.com:

"MANHATTAN is Woody Allen's glorious love letter to the city that he was born to make films about. Woody plays Isaac Davis, a twice-divorced TV writer having a relationship with 17-year old Tracy, a high school student played by Mariel Hemingway. Isaac's best friend, Yale (Michael Murphy), is having an affair with Mary (Diane Keaton), a woman whose every word about the arts infuriates Isaac. Meanwhile, Isaac's ex-wife Jill (Meryl Streep) is writing a book that will expose all of his idiosyncrasies and neuroses. But when Yale breaks it off with Mary, Isaac and Mary start an affair that alters the relationships of all the major characters. Gordon Willis's stunning black-and-white photography and the soaring music of George Gershwin help make Woody Allen's brilliant vision of the city he loves one of the best films of the last quarter of the 20th century. Allen delicately balances the line between comedy and satire, drama and pathos. MANHATTAN is a gorgeous, vibrant comedy that explores the changing state of relationships in the New York of the late 1970s, capturing that moment in time with charm, intelligence, and lots of laughs."

And of course, here's one of my favorite lines from Manhattan:

"I was just thinking, there must be something wrong with me because I've never had a relationship with a woman that's lasted longer than the one between Hitler and Eva Braun." - Woody Allen
"My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind." - Albert Einstein
SNL Watch... John McCain is playing a pothead school teacher in some really bad skit... this episode really blows ass chunks the size of spider monkeys.

Saturday, October 19, 2002

I am currently watching Saturday Night Live with host Senator John McCain... so far, 25 minutes in, it sucks ass.
From Dave Simanoff...

I was in a very lowbrow mood today, so I rented "Scooby Doo." It was bad but enjoyable. Of course, I am never going to see a movie again until "Charlie's Goldfish" gets made. Of course, by the time Hollywood gets through with your script, it will be set in outer space and Charlie O'Brien (main character) will be played by Chris Rock.
"Every man has his own destiny: the only imperative is to follow it, to accept it, no matter where it leads him." - Henry Miller

Friday, October 18, 2002

My prediction was wrong, the DOW closed UP... 47 points today.

Here was my early morning prediction: The market has been bullish all week... and I expect today to be a heavy sell off day. My prediction: DOW will be down 136 points by closing bell.

This is why I am the poorest stockbroker on Wall Street.
I have written no less than 5 stories for this month's issue of TRCUKIN'! That's right folks, FIVE stories, although I might ony publish four, we shall see... I have been on a roll ever since I started writing Charlie's Goldfish. The deadline for Truckin' submissions is Sunday, October 20th, and the new issue comes out next Thursday, OCT 24th. Señor has written two stories and Boogie returns with a piece, and Jessica submitted a witty tale as well. And my stories are from all over the place... Jamaica, Vancouver, Amsterdam, Texas... but you must wait and read for yourselves!
Hunter S. Thompson Watch... Read his latest article from ESPN.com... Walking Tall in the Sport of Swine.

Here's a bit: "Dark things happen to spread-bettors who try to focus on baseball and football at the same time, with the action constantly changing and people with separate agendas screaming all around you. It is like trying to play chess and auction off tobacco at the same time. It won't work. The violent rhythms of football are impossible to reconcile with the spastic waltz of baseball. The last time I tried it I lost track of the numbers and got humiliated by my own son. It was horrible."
I haven't done this is a while (I'm also procrastinating at work...) so here it goes, back by popular demand... the 3 Qs...!

Q. Where does Pauly wish he was right now?
A. Sleeping... dreaming of the olden days when he was an unemployed writer...

Q. What SIMPSONS or SEINFELD character best describes Pauly's mood?
A. Ralph Wiggum... "Me fail English! Thats un-possible!"

Q. What is Pauly enjoying right now?
A. The break in the weather... and he also saw a suit fall flat on his ass earlier this morning, spilling his Grande Latte and tearing a nice hole in his crotch area. Pauly always laughs when people fall, especially fat cats in $4000 European tailored suits.
"Question with boldness even the existence of God; because, if there is one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded faith." - Thomas Jefferson
I overslept! I didn't fall asleep until after 3:30 AM and my alarm didn't wake me at 5:30 AM. I awoke from a bad fucked up dream (I was frantically searching for my camera to take a picture of a nuclear reactor explosion or nuclear bomb exploding in the distance... I wanted to capture the mushroom cloud on film... I told you it was fucked up). So I awoke a little after 7:04 AM, and I did the 3S in quick fashion... Shit, Shower & Shave. It was chilly this morning and not raining, and I was cranky for waking up late and not getting enough sleep. BUT... I did write several pages late last night/earlier this morning and I managed to review a Director's Scene from PGL. I have one more scene to review and one more script to review and my assignments for PGL will be complete. I'll write more about that later. But for now, I'm still exhausted and I got a weird look from my boss as I sloshed in, frazzled, at 8:34 AM.

The market has been bullish all week... and I expect today to be a heavy sell off day. My prediction: DOW will be down 136 points by closing bell...
Sometimes it's cool to be an insomniac... if I were sleeping right now, I'd be missing out on Katie Holmes, who is currently on Conan O'Brien as I type this.
"Sacred cows make the tastiest hamburger." - Abbie Hoffman

Thursday, October 17, 2002

I finished reading the third script for PGL. It was funny, a romantic comedy, which I thought was slightly better than the last script I read. This one has a great chance to make it. Cheesy ending, funny jokes, well written.

Here's what I wrote in the review:

Main charcaters were well developed and the supporting characters were extremely interesting. The script was a fast and easy read.

I scored this film an 8 out of 10. And I rated the concept a 9 out of 10.

Words to describe this script: funny, sexy, suspenseful, original, predictable, formulamatic, unique, entertaining.


So far three scripts read and one more to go to finish my required script reading. I also have to review two short films. I hope to finish all this by Monday. Round 1 ends in one week.
Today, right now, I feel a lot like my favorite Jackson Pollock quote: "If I'm so terrific, how come I ain't rich?"
"Man has such a predilection for systems and abstract deductions that he is ready to distort the truth intentionally, he is ready to deny the evidence of his senses only to justify his logic..." - DOSTOYEVSKY
Real World: Paris

MTV has selected Paris as the new locale for seven strangers picked to live in a house. I was thinking I might lie about my age and tryout. Here's what Dave Simanoff said: "Count me in. We'll need 23-year-old names though. You can be Xander, and I'll be Dirk."
"Oh boy... sleep... that's where I'm a Viking!" - Ralph Wiggum
I got 2 Shoutouts on the Daily Dave!
"Freethinkers are those who are willing to use their minds without prejudice and without fearing to understand things that clash with their own customs, privileges, or beliefs. This state of mind is not common, but it is essential for right thinking; where it is absent, discussion is apt to become worse than useless." - Tolstoy
Computer Pulls Even in $1 Million Chess Tourney The German computer Deep Fritz won, and tied some Russian guy in an eight match series.

Wednesday, October 16, 2002

"Everyone takes the limits of his own vision for the limits of the world." - Arthur Schopenhauer
Sniper on the loose, bombs in Bali, bombs soon to be over Baghdad... and Madonna made another terrible movie. Bombs and bullets everywhere...
Blogger has beeb screwy the last 24 hours... but I think the problem is under control. I can now blog again! Anyhooo, it's wet and cold and rainy again, the last day or so was a welcomed break of nice weather, and so this Nor'easter comes raging though bringing high winds and lots of rain. I wish I wore my rain suit today.

Tuesday, October 15, 2002

"Living apart and at peace with myself, I came to realize more vividly the meaning of the doctrine of acceptance. To refrain from giving advice, to refrain from meddling in the affairs of others, to refrain, even though the motives be the highest, from tampering with another's way of life - so simple, yet so difficult for an active spirit. Hands off!" - Henry Miller

Happy Birthday, Derek!


Today is my brother, Derek's B-day.

Monday, October 14, 2002

Happy Birthday, Bruce!


Today is Bruce Cohen's B-day... so best wishes, toughy!
"Remorse... never yield to remorse, but at once tell yourself: remorse would simply mean adding to the first act of stupidity a second." - Nietzsche

Sunday, October 13, 2002

PGL Update...

I just finished my second assignment for PGL. I finished reading and reviewing Script #2, which was so much better than Script #1 (which really really sucked after comparing it to mine and Script #2). I dunno if it's just my mood, or the fact I really hated Script #1, but I gave Script #2 an excellent review. I feel I was too generous for Script #1, so I decided to make up for it by giving Script #2 it's due credit.

Here's what I wrote in my review for Script #2:

Main charcaters were well developed and the supporting characters were extremely interesting. The script was a fast and easy read.

Overall I scored it an 8 out of 10. With a 9 out of 10 for concept.

Words to describe this script: funny, unpredictable, exciting, orginal, unique, entertaining, and "my kind of story".


So far 2 script assignments read & reviewed and 2 more to go. I also have yet to review and watch the 2 director's scenes from that separate contest. Round 1 ends in 11 days.

The script I just read shows promise. I can see why people (meaning Hollywood suits) would want to make this script over mine, it has a wider mass appeal to a greater audience than my script. Oh well. Time will tell. I hope the reviewers out there are as generous as I was. To date, I've given one harsh rejection and one happy thumbs up.



Scripts... for future flicks!

I found a twenty year old treatment based on a short story written by George Lucas for Star Wars, Episode 3: The Fall of the Republic. I assume Lucas has already written the new script and it's hard to tell how much he will use the treatment as a rough draft.

AND, someone sent me this link, it has a partial script for the new Matrix flick: Matrix 2: Reloaded written by the Wachowski Brothers. Again, who is to say if this is the actual script or a rough draft, the shooting script, or just a hoax for PR. Check it out.

Saturday, October 12, 2002

Muslims Prepare for Coca-Cola War... no joke.
"Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television. Choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers.... choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting on the couch watching mind-numbing, spirit crushing game shows, stuffing junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose life.... But why would I want to do a thing like that?  Now I've justified this to myself in all sorts of ways. It wasn't a big deal, just a minor betrayal. Or we'd outgrown each other, you know, that sort of thing. But let's face it, I ripped them off-- my so called mates. But Begbie, I couldn't give a shit about him. And Sick Boy, well he'd done the same to me, if he'd only thought of it first. And Spud, well okay, I felt sorry for Spud --he never hurt anybody. So why did I do it? I could offer a million answers -- all false. The truth is that I'm a bad person. But, that's gonna change -- I'm going to chage. This is the last of that sort of thing. Now I'm cleaning up and I'm moving on, going straight and choosing life. I'm looking forward to it already. I'm gonna be just like you.The job, the family, the fucking big television. The washing machine, the car, the compact disc and electric tin opener, good health, low cholesterol, dental insurance, mortgage, starter home, leisure wear, luggage, three piece suite, DIY, game shows, junk food, children, walks in the park, nine to five, good at golf, washing the car, choice of sweaters, family Christmas, indexed pension, tax exemption clearing gutters, getting by, looking ahead, the day you die." - Renton, Trainspotting
I just got lucky and scored a ticket via TICKETBASTARD to the OTHER ONES concert at MSG in November: Section 102, Row E

Phil, Bobby, Mickey & Billy... but of course it's not a party without the 9 1/2 fingered fat man, Jerry Garcia. I've seen the Other Ones without Phil Lesh and I've seen Phil & Phriends with Bob Weir (last year w/ Senor & Bruce Cohen), but since my last Grateful Dead show (June 16, 1995) I have not seen the four guys play together, so this will be a first. This is a nice consolation to getting shut out of Phish tix!
It's been raining non-stop for a good 30 hours? Is this right? I know we need the rain, but this kinda sucks.

Friday, October 11, 2002

Another wet rainy gray and cold day here in the city. I think once again, we skipped autumn and went from summer to winter.
Here is a mini-review of the recent Tool concert in Seattle on 10.2.02, written by Stephen A.:
"Tool played the Key Arena on Wednesday with a band called Meshuggah opening... Tool comprising Maynard James Keenan (vocals), Danny Carey (drums), Adam Jones (guitar and amazing artwork), Justin Chancellor (bass)... These guys ROCK. I've seen them a couple of times now... I've seen A Perfect Circle (Maynard's side project) and the talent and musicianship is quite startling to me... They played about an hour and a half, and I was hoarse from yelling, screaming and singing along... Too many stoned out people falling down the stairs and such, but I remember that I did that also... the opening act was not a good one, they may want to invest in a better sound man, and the hair twirling went out with bands like Slayer and Poison... but, Tool really blew everyone away and a good time was had by all."
Partial Review of Charlie's Goldfish from my brother, Derek:

"I was only able to read 15 pages of your script today. I had to stop reading it once I got on the # 3 (Express) Train. I had to stand and it was hard to read while holding a wet umbrella and my bag. I was only able to read it while I was on the # 1 (Local) Train... so far so good. I haven't gotten far enough to give you an opinion about the script but what's the deal with... the twins... I couldn't stop laughing when i saw that. Too funny! You were right about there being some typos in the script. I saw some on pages 9, 12, and 13. No big deal though. They do not affect the script in any way and are easy to read and understand... I know that I've only read 15 pages but I keep thinking of a young Timothy Hutton as (main charcater) Charlie O'Brien. I guess I'm a little premature about that assumption since I've only read 15 pages. Also, too bad he's too old now and can't play that character in the movie version!"
I finished reading my first script for PGL. It sucked. Really, it wasn't good and I'm glad that mine will not be the worst script out there. I finished writing the review and answering their review questions. I can't tell you what I read or what it's about just yet. But...

Here are some things I did said:

Main characters were under developed and unrealistic and script was too long and difficult to follow.

Overall I rated it a 5 out of 10, with a 7 out of 10 for plot/story line.

Words to describe the script: unique, flat, confusing, not my type.

This script would make a better novel. It's too dark for the screen.


I have to review 3 more scripts and 2 director's contest scenes by October 24th to complete Round 1 assignments. I'm hoping my reviewers aren't as tough as I was! I'll find out in two weeks.

Thursday, October 10, 2002

"You can observe a lot by just watching." - Yogi Berra
I just got my first assignment from Project Greenlight. I started reading the first of four scripts that I have to review for the contest and in all honesty, it's a bad script that I have to review!! It gives me hope, but makes me more nervous, that the person reviewing mine will think it's just as boring as the one I'm reading. I dunno how I will rate this script. More to come...
"It's very important to have some kind of personal integrity." - Woody Allen
My mood is somber, the air is tense, the street is jittery...

Wednesday, October 09, 2002

"The jellyfish is a poem too... the finest kind of poem. You poke him here, you poke him there, he slithers and slathers, he's dithy and clabberous, he has a colon and intestines, he's vermiform and ubisquishous." - Henry Miller
It's really cold in the office today. Really cold. The icicles on my nipples are scratching my thighs. I think Mr. Morgan is cutting costs and not heating the place until after Jan 1, 2003.
"My favorite thing about masturbation is afterwards... the cuddling part." - Woody Allen

Tuesday, October 08, 2002

3 Questions:

Q. Where does Pauly wish he was?
A. Las Vegas, NV... the poker room at the Mirage to be percise.

Q. What SIMPSONS or SEINFELD character best describes Pauly's mood?
A. Otto the busdriver... he's in a cloudy daze and driving all over the road today.

Q. What is Pauly enjoying right now?
A. Five words: Extra Strength Tylenol Cold Medicine. Pop four of those fuckers, and things get a little groovy.
"I don't know whether you've ever had a woman eat an apple while you were doing it... Well, you can imagine how that affects you." - Henry Miller, Tropic of Capricorn
I let some members of my Writer's Group read the script, Charlie's Goldfish. Here is what Jessica has to say:

"I just finished it. I must confess, I love this screenplay. I didn't expect to love it, and I went into the straight reading trying to be subjective. I tried to remember that the people reading it at PGL neither know you nor love you. It was hard, but I just put myself in it, saw it on the screen.

It's brilliant... a good story with good characters. It's cheesy and feel-goody (especially at the end), but it's got every solid element of a successful screenplay. Submit it. Send it in. DO NOT HESITATE. It is worthy of at least the Top 250, and who knows what else. You have nothing to lose by sending it.

When I first read it, I felt that there was nothing of you really in it, in any aspect. But now I see that you really did put yourself into it. I mean, you poured yourself into this screenplay for 10 days. You sweat and bled into it, and it shows. It's full of love, just like everything you write.

I am, more than ever, terribly and incredibly proud of you. No matter what Affleck and his boys think, with this screenplay, you are successful."


More Project Greenlight Comments...

"Oh! I'm nervous for you! I want you to WIN! However, finishing a screenplay is accomplishment enough!" - Lori "Boogie" Blandford

"Nice job... I used to swallow goldfish as a hobby, but I don't believe they belonged to anybody named Charlie." - Mike "Modeski" Weiner

"Good luck and congrats on getting it finished. I give you a great deal of credit. There is no way I could get creative for 2 pages let alone over 100!! Hopefully we will all get to see you on HBO later in the year!!" - Mike McCarthy

"I believe in McGrupp!!!!!! Did I mention that a fucking monkey bit me and then stole my bannana from my car?" - Señor

Monday, October 07, 2002


"Nothing would be what it is,
Because everything would be what it isn't.
And contrary-wise
what it is, it wouldn't be.
And what it wouldn't be,
it would.
You see?"

- Alice in Wonderland

JP Morgan to Cut 4,000 Jobs

I get this news from the NY Times. I wonder if I will get the ax in three weeks? Here's the article:

"NEW YORK (AP) -- J.P. Morgan Chase & Co. may cut as many as 4,000 jobs in the next few weeks as it deals with fallout from the collapse of telecommunications companies, according to newspaper reports.

Bank officials are currently drafting lists of layoff candidates, with many cuts expected to occur in investment banking departments, The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal reported Monday, citing unnamed company executives.

The affected divisions are likely to lose as much as 25 percent of their staff.

The layoff plan is expected to include employees who specialize in mergers and acquisitions, equity and debt underwriting and private banking. Most of the layoffs are expected to come from J.P. Morgan's offices in New York and Asia.

The bank announced last month that its third quarter results would be lower than expected, partly because of poor trading results and bad loans to telecommunications companies.

J.P Morgan has eliminated 10,000 jobs since its merger with Chase Manhattan Corp. in 2000."

Saturday, October 05, 2002

The two day hiatus is over. I had no desire to write or blog or do anything. I am suffering from exhaustion and anxiety over my screenplay, which in my eyes, is sub-standard. I fucked up. Charlie's Goldfish is a great idea, but an average screenplay that will be made into a boring film that no one will go see, because most people that foolishly fork over $10 to be numbed for 2 hours rarely want to see anything else but the same twenty or so good looking people, wearing nice clothes, with hip snazzy background music, and with lots of explosions, kung fu fights, car chases, and recycled montages of things you've seen before, as well as corporate product placements, tits and ass, and lots of foul humor, like kids fucking pies or slurping up semen. Oh well. Such is life in Hollyweird. I had no time to blog. I had to dedicate some serious time to work the last 48 hours, because I don't get paid just to show up, I'm on commission. And alas, I'm back to working 7 days a week again on the trenches of Wall Street, because it's sad to say that the kid with a half shaved head and half green punky hair and 413 piercings through his face, including a bolt the size of a piano leg thru his nose, the "I wanna be a punk, but I'm just a dork from the Iowa cornfields, so I'm moving to NYC to be a poseur" that works at Starbucks is pulling in more money an hour than I do. What the fuck! That makes me want to shoot off my left foot. Can you tell I'm in a pissy mood? Well I am. No sleep, no money, the war drums slowly beat harder, the Yankees lost again, and it dawned on me that there are more reality based TV shows and game shows these days than ever before, and with the advent of cable TV you would think there would be more jobs for TV writers in America, but this is not the case. I know some of you love the Osbournes (I dig it!) and that awful show Survivor or American Idol, but for one second realize that because of those shows, I do not have a job in Hollywood. I am talented enough, and there are a thousand more talented and funny writers out there who are unemployed, but because there is such fierce competition due to lack of opportunity, the jobs in Hollywood are few and far between. Part conspiracy, the backlash of the Writer's Strike from a few years ago. They refuse to pay decent wages to the people who come up with all these great ideas for shows, sitcoms, and films. Now, every retard who gets kicked in the nuts is all of a sudden a major TV star. There was a time when the media applauded good citizens for doing good work. Now if you beat your kid or confess to a rape ten years later, all of a sudden you have your 20 minute segment on all the talk shows. No wonder why America is so fucked up. So next time you have a chance to watch those shows, just remember that the MAN is sucking you into their domain, and giving you FREE ENTERTAINMENT while they are subliminally brainwashing you into the mindless consumer to buy soda, cars, cat food, tampons, fast food, and see that awful formulated watered down film that Reese Witherspoon is getting $67 Billion dollars to star in, all this by NOT EMPLOYING one of your friends. How are you able to sleep at night?? I hope you can live with yourself after knowing that. It makes me depressed beyond all means of my own personal comprehension that someday books will become as obsolete as the Opera and Classical music. That makes me sad. The future for writers grows dimmer ever day. Thank goodness for Ben Affleck and Matt Damon. I know alot of you hate one or both of them, but if they didn't give back to the artistic community, then there would be no forum for unpublished writers. For that I am grateful for the opportunity to participate in their contest, solely for the benefit of the possibility of breaking into the toughest business in the history of history. Oh well. I guess in the end no one really cares about good literature these days. Kids don't grow up wanting to be the next Shakespeare or Mozart. They wanna be like Justin and Britney clones and Anna Nicole Smith and fuck old guys for billions of dollars, then act like a complete mook for their reality TV show. Lazy retards. Now I understand why certain old people over the age of 65 give me this look like, "I'm outta here. Good luck. You're gonna need it."

That's it, I'm done. Get the fuck outta my office.

Thursday, October 03, 2002

The Tao of Pauly is currently on hiatus. I need to take a day off from writing. Visit The Daily Dave if you are bored.

Wednesday, October 02, 2002

Charlie's Goldfish!


The title of my script is called: Charlie's Goldfish. It is a 111 page screenplay.

The original title is taken from an E-Story that I wrote with Mona LaVigne last month. The only similarities in both projects are the title and the names of two of the characters. Aside from that, there is nothing similar about the screenplay and the E-Story.

OK, the deadline for PGL is tonight at Midnight. I will be notified via e-mail on October 25th at Midnight if I made it into the TOP 250. At that point, Round 2 begins, and I have more stuff to do.

So until then, I have to review 4 other scripts starting Friday or Saturday. So my script will be read at least 4 times by other writers. If I get high marks, I'll make it to the next round. If not, I get the stiff arm from PGL, and re-write the script so I can shoot it next summer.

I also want to keep this project going. I am considering writing Charlie's Goldfish: A Novel. I feel that my ability as a writer was constricted in screenplay format and I can breathe more life into these characters if I have more freedom to explore and not hold back on history and dialouge. OK more to come.

Thanks to everyone for their support, understanding and words of encouragement. And thanks to my brother Derek for the cool birthday present. More to come... I promise.
I just paid the $20 fee (thanks to my brother) to have my script registered at the Writer's Guild of America. The paperwork is almost complete. All I have left is to print up a copy of the script and mail it with a $30 check to the US Copyright Office at the Library of Congress.

Here are some interesting links: WGA Intellectual Property Registration and US Copyright Office.


Ooppppppppps! I fucked up. The final draft of my screenplay was missing 6 crucial pages! It was a very important scene that I left out and I'm lucky I caught the problem this morning before I submitted my script. I just added the missing six pages and now the screenplay is 111 pages in length. OK, so it's about 14.5 hours until deadline, and I decided, fuck it. No more tweaking, I want to get this over with so I just now submitted my entry to Project Greenlight. I paid them the $30 entry fee (thanks to my brother) and I have to finish up the paper work and fees with the WGA and the copyright office at the Library of Congress. OK I am super tired and I'm falling asleep. More to come later.
DEADLINE is about 21 hours from now. It's almost 3 AM and the final draft of my screenplay is complete. So I think. I will crash for a bit, before waking up to re-read it one last time, then I will submit it to PGL. I already started the paperwork for WGA and the copyright stuff at the Library of Congress. The tedious process of protecting the intellectual property of my script is a burden, alas, it needs to be done.

I'm finished, but I don't feel a tremendous sense of elation. Maybe it's because I'm too tired and I rushed a 105 page screenplay and wrote it in about 10 days. Whatever it is, I'm too exhausted to think about it right now. all I want to do is send it off and wait two or three weeks to find out if I make the cut... the elusive TOP 250.

Tuesday, October 01, 2002

40 hours until Project Greenlight DEADLINE!!!!! The second draft is complete, I will rewrite it and have a final/third draft by midnight tonight. I expect to send the script to the Writers Guild of America and the copyright office at the Library of Congress tomorrow morning and finally submit the script to PGL tomorrow afternoon.

My anxiety about the future of the project has been on my mind the last few days. In all honesty, the script is average. It would be an average film, that most of you probbaly wouldn't see. There is no nudity, no sex, no explosions, no car chases, no bullets, no kids fucking pies, no aliens... so the script is pretty much doomed and shall live a very short life in Hollyweird. But I am attached to the characters and I feel the concept and story is a "MILLION DOLLAR IDEA"... that which I would like to write as a novel. All these decisions will be made at the end of the week. Right now I'm focused on finishing the script.