Friday, March 05, 2004

Martha Stewart Living... Behind Bars!

Martha Stewart was found guilty this afternoon of one count of conspiracy, two counts of making false statements and one count of obstruction of agency proceedings. She could go to jail for as much as four to five years. Her broker Peter Bacanovic, was also convicted on four counts. Here's a bit:
Her Merrill Lynch stockbroker claimed the sale was based on a pre-existing agreement to unload her stake if the price fell below $60. Prosecutors alleged Ms. Stewart was given a secret tip from Mr Bacanovic that another client, ImClone founder Sam Waksal, was selling his shares.
Her company's stock Martha Stewart Online fell drastically today, down $3.17 (or 22% in value) in heavy volume. (Chart for MSO) Alas, Martha Stewart's net worth drops $85 Million in one afternoon.

Mark Egan wrote a good article called Martha Stewart Fell on Details Obsession - Experts. Here's a bit:
Martha Stewart made millions by being a control freak over the minutiae of the perfect dinner party and decorating the finest house, but that same trait could now land her in jail...
And of course, you must read this Open letter from Martha. Where she says:
I am obviously distressed by the jury's verdict...
Alas, one year ago if I asked you who would be convicted of securites fraud, me or Martha... all of you would have said... me. Well, Martha, best of luck.

My Advice for Martha...
1. Cigarettes are your friend. The more you have, the easier life will be.
2. On your first day in the Big House, beat the shit out the first fish you see.
3. And don't drop the soap.
See you in four to five years.

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