Vegas Update Two

The saga of passed out bloggers continues. Here is more proof:



Nice boxers, Al.

Man, It's 9:27am and I'm still fucked up. My head hurts like Rosie O'Donnell sat on it. I met some of my favorite poker bloggers for the first time. Poker Nerd, Gracie, Joe Speaker, Human Head, the Minnesota bloggers, and one of the Aprils. Good folks.

I watched Heather play Pai Gow poker. I met some of the wives. Derek and I went to check out the Wynn.

We have a kick ass suite at the Plaza and after the drunkin' HORSE games at the MGM Grand (I played with Al and Bill's chips), we returned back to the suite for a late night party. I passed out early, but Derek, Iggy, and the gang played no limit until 9am. I heard Iggy was offending everyone at the table, Fat Guy included, with his brutal anti-semetic remarks.

By the way, Mrs. Cant Hang is passed in my bed!! She has extremely cold feet.



Oh and yes, I saw Felicia knock back a shot of vodka while holding her nose. More blogger hijinks coming soon. Here is a random picture dump:


Pocket aces during RAZZ sucks.


The view from our suite.


The Horseshoe


In front of the Wynn Casino.


Bill's alive!

First Vegas Update

Derek and I arrived in Sin City shortly before 1am. Grubby picked us at the airport. When we got into the Plaza, we bumped into Bill Rini who was playing at a nearby blackjack table. He arrived several hours earlier and had been drinking heavily. He went on a nice run and was cracking me up with his banter with the most unfriendly dealer I ever met. When he hit blackjack, he offered the dealer insurance. She didn't flinch. I couldn't stop laughing.

Anyway, the first casualty in Vegas is Bill! Here's proof.



He's curently passed out in my room as I write this entry. My goal is to post at least six pictures of passed out bloggers. One down, five to go.

On the Road

I haven't slept too much in the past week. I've had too much on my mind. Everyone keeps asking me if "I'm nervous about moving to Vegas." Should I be?

Here's a link to a couple of cool pics of where I'll be working the next two months. The sight of the Rio gets me all fired up. Thanks to Flip Chip for the photo.

Paris is engaged. She was even nice enough to call and "break the news to me." Oh well. I always liked Nicky better. Let's see of Paris' nuptials to Paris will last longer than Nicky and that weird stockbroker.

Deep Throat has been identified. And its an ex-G man like a lot of insiders suspected. I wonder what Tricky Dick would have said?

Law & Order shot a new episode one block from my brother's apartment, right in front of the bodega where I usually buy the newspaper or gatorade. I swear I saw Chris Noth. Is he back or something?

There are 70+ poker bloggers heading to Las Vegas, so CJ made up a handy list of people's arrival info, hotel, and cell phone numbers. I went down my list today and ended up crank calling my fellow bloggers. I spoke in an Hindu accent and pretend to be Janeesh from Party Poker. All the bloggers know that Party Poker outsources their support staff to India, so when you have to contact them you always get someone with an accent. Anyway, Chris Halverson nailed me right away when I tired crank call him.

Yes, I got a new cellphone. It was a fuckin' nightmare. I bought a new one last year after Coventry and the guy ripped me off. I should have gotten a free upgrade but he charged me. I foolishly paid. One month later it wouldn't charge so he had to send it back to the company to get it fixed. He gave me a shitty replacement phone and said it would take 4-6 weeks. At week 5 I walked over to the store and saw that it was empty! He fuckin' skipped town with my new phone. Verizon told me that I was fucked and could come into the store to get a new phone, but definitely not anything better than I was given. I was lazy and pissed so I blew them off. When I realized that I needed a good phone for Las Vegas I decided to get a new one. I was concerned about the reception in a casino because I would need to relay information as quickly as possible. Anyway, the chick wanted to charge me $250 for a new phone and told me I had to wait until August to get that same phone for $50. The phone I would have settled for was out of stock. I was pressed for time so I fuckin' spent the big bucks and got a top shelf phone. That's so rare for me, I'm not one to get "expensive items"... but I figured I could use it as a business expense.

Before I leave, some closing thoughts... I wonder who will be the first blogger to puke? Who will be the first blogger arressted? Who will be the blogger who gets the most lapdances? And how many bottles of SoCo will AlCantHang drink by himeself?

Here are some pictures around NYC that I took in the last week or so. Consider the following picture gallery part of my last entry in New York for a while.














Damn, I'm gonna miss New York. Anyway, see ya. Thanks to everyone for their support and all the good vibes everyone has sent me. Thanks for reading, guys and girls, and I hope you continue reading about my exploits in Vegas. I really could not have gotten this far without all of you. Thanks a bunch. Next time we speak, I'll be in Vegas!

Happy Belated Birthday, Tao of Pauly

Yes, I've been so busy that I forgot. Thanks to Jenna who reminded me that my blog turned three years old last Wednesday! Wow. How about that? Truckin' turns two next month and the Tao of Poker hits the two year mark in August.

Radio Free Pauly

I taped my interview with Sean on Saturday aternoon during the Yankees-Red Sox game for the Lord Admiral Card Club Radio Show and Podcast. If you don't know by now, it's the best podcast dedicated to poker in the universe. It seems like overnight I've become a huge cult figure in Canada. Don Cherry. Brett "The Hitman" Hart. And now... Dr. Pauly.

Sean and Brent are working hard every week to get their podcast done (fo free) so stop by and show your support.

You can download the MP3 of this week's show... Episode 28: Here.
You can download last week's show... Episode 27: Here.

Gracie taped a station ID bit which features a snippet of Phish! It starts at the 9:15 mark. My segment starts at the 17:00 mark of the show and it lasts about 12 minutes. We talked about my prep for Vegas in addition to the recent news about NYC card rooms getting raided. Check it out!

If you want to catch up and listen to previous episodes, please visit their archives over at Brainscat. Stop by their site and download the extra nuggets. Thanks again to Sean and Stacks for having me on.

The Day Before, More Vegas Tips, and Moose Cup 2005

On Monday I played Joanne heads up on Poker Stars for the North American Moose Cup. The final score: Pauly 3, Canada 1. She posted about the bad beat that I put on her in game 1. She slowplayed AA on me for her victory in game 3. For now, the Moose Cup is mine.

Derek and I leave for Vegas tomorrow. I'm ready. Later today I'm gonna get a new cell phone and tonight I'll pack. I have one more article to write before I hit the road. And once, I'm off... I'll be in "Vegas mode."

I do not want to disappoint anyone who is meeting me for the first time, but I want to warn you that I am not as wild and crazy as every thinks I am. For the record, I will not be showing up in Vegas with two nymphomaniac teenage gymnasts (from a Eastern European county that no longer exists), along with an eight-ball of Colombian Snow Flake and a brick of Moroccan hash the size of Herve Villechaize. Believe me, if I had access to those kind of drugs and were able to woo nimble nymphets like that, the last thing I'd be doing would be hanging out in Vegas with a bunch of degenerates gamblers.

OK, I got a positive response from my Tips on Surviving Las Vegas. I'd like to add a few more to the existing list:

11. Food is fuel... If you have the opportunity to eat, do it because you never know when you might never have another chance to get some grub. Last December, I never saw Iggy eat one bite during our last trip. He was on the ciggies and Guinness gambler's diet.

12. Wear comfortable shoes... As a native New Yorker, I walk everywhere and I'm used to trudging along for five or six miles in a day. If you are a lazy fuck who's a slave to their vehicle, then start walking a mile or two everyday to get yor legs in shape. The entrance from the Rio to the actual place where the WSoP is being held is a hike. Plus if you want to walk the Strip, everything appears much closer in the desert.

13. Bring a watch... There are exactly six clocks in the entire city of Las Vegas and you won't see any of them in an actual casino.

14. Keep your gambling bankroll separate from your other cash.

15. $50 bills are bad luck... Don't feel weird about asking to change in your $50 bills. That is one superstition I've been following every since Grubby clued me in.

16. Avoid the slots... Grubby will try to turn you over to the dark side of gambling and get you to hit the slots with him at 3am. Resist the temptation!

17. Don't tell people at your table that you have a poker blog... Please for the love of God, do not tell anyone you're in town for a poker bloggers convention. Keep that shit on the down low. You're in Vegas. It's a surreal place. Make shit up. Pretend you're a fish. I lie to dealers, strippers, cab drivers, and my tablemates all the time when I'm in Vegas.

During my last three trips, I've told random strangers that I was a marine biologist, an aquarium salesman, a trumpet player in a Latin jazz band, a radiologist, and my favorite... that I've just got out of prison. The ladies seem to like that one. Bottom line is this: if you can't successfully lie to the people at your table and if you are unable to convince them that you are in fact an astronaut, then you shouldn't be playing poker in Las Vegas. Go home and fire up Poker Stars instead.

During this trip I intend on telling folks that I'm either a mountain climber (please don't laugh when I start talking about Mount Everest to anyone at my table) and I'm thinking about being the malcontent heir to the "Spork" fortune. A spork is not a fork, but not quite a spoon. One of my fraternity brothers in college used that line to try to pick up girls in bars. He even convinced a few that he had a spork shaped swimming pool. And if I happen to stumble into a strip bar, my cover story will be that I'm the tour manager for a metal band called The Al Cant Hang Experience.

Anyway those are my latest additions to my Vegas tips.

Here are Pauly's Original Top 10 Tips on Surviving Vegas:
1. Cut back on sleep immediately.
2. Sip, don't chug.
3. Water is your friend.
4. Bring a cell phone charger.
5. Take pictures.
6. Ask before you post pictures on the internet.
7. Speak your mind and stay in the moment.
8. Table image is a factor in real life.
9. Don't be Gigli.
10. Never underestimate the importance of a $20 tip.

By the way, if we casted Poker Bloggers in Vegas: The Movie, who would play you? For me it's either Benicio del Toro or John Cusak.

If I had to cast for BG, I'd pick Philip Seymour Hoffman. I know he's going to be wicked pissed about that. But I think Philip Seymour Hoffman is the best actor of our generation. I'd snag Owen Wilson to play Otis and William H. Macy to be Chris Halverson. Rob Lowe would be the perfect G Rob and how could you not cast Vin Diesel to play Bad Blood? If Felicia gets her life story made, Hillary Swank should get to play her. If Tara Reid could pull off an Canadian accent, she could be just right as Joanne. Rounding out the rest of the freaks would be Ted Nugent as Al Cant Hang and The Poker Geek will be played by Wil Wheaton in a cameo. Without a doubt, Chris Rock was born to be Grubby.

For the role of a lifetime, Iggy will be played by... Bea Arthur.