Friday, May 14, 2004

Was Fraiser Gay?

I saw parts of the final episode of Fraiser and it was ten times better than the lame Friends finale. Fraiser actually had a message behind his finale... and it was about taking risks and taking steps forward in life. Not too shabby.

OK, before I get hounded about my Fraiser being a homosexual theory... it's not some flip, ignorant generalization. I've put some serious thought, yet comedic thought into this assertion. Fraiser Crane has been in my life for over twenty years. Cheers used to be one of my favorite sitcoms from the 1980s, so I can say that I've gotten to know Fraiser pretty well, and our realtionship has grown over the last two decades. So why do I think he's gay? Let's examine the women in his life... and after two clear cut examples: Diane and Lilith, you will certainly agree with me.

OK, maybe Fraser is bisexual. He goes both ways, but even the bright and witty mind of Dr. Fraiser Crane could unravel his sexual ambiguity, despite all the liquid assistance... the endless beers, vodkas, and lattes.

Why did he fall in love with Diane Chambers? For the reason why Sam "Mayday" Malone bedded her... because she was a lesbian. Sam Malone was the biggest swinging dick in the Boston area. He banged thousands of baseball groupies in cities all over America and Canada. He routinely nailed some of the hottest women that walked into Cheers. So what was he doing trying to court an uptight, Lord Byron quoting, nerd? Because she was a lesbian... and posed a sincere challenge to Sam. After all he was a professional athlete and competition rushed through his blood stream, and and after giving up drinking... he needed some sort of outlet.

Enter Fraiser. A staunch Freudian philospher, you know he's caught up in unearthing the deep sexual longing, and instead of embracing his sexuality, he was caught up in the social mores at the time. Near his intellectual equivalent, Diane posed a challenge to him, at the same time allowing him to share like interests in opera and fine arts. But of course, Diane came to her inner realization... that she was not willing to be a wife and ditched Fraiser at the altar, which led to a slew of bad jokes, and three more years of insobriety, nestled in between Norm and Cliff.

How about Lilith... the ice queen. Fraiser is attracted to manly like women. Now it's hard for me to think that Fraiser was the guy in that twisted relationship. We all know that Lilith fired up the strap on (if Fraiser had any hair, she'd be pulling it out of it's roots while plugging him from behind). I'm shocked that they actually had a child together, and spawned yet another sexually amibguous, snotty nerd. Of course his marriage failed and he went back to Seattle to hang out with his grouchy old man, and his sexually deprived brother, Niles, who coincidentally also married an ice queen, Maris, the west coast version of Lilith.

So Fraiser selected these women because he knew that deep down they would fail. He sabaotged his chances way before he met these women. It was a choice... and he knew what he was doing. He was teh smartest guy in Cheers and supposedly the wisest guy on the Seattle airwaves. How could someone that intelligent make those crucial mistakes in chosing life mates?

Sorry this isn't more clear, I jotted this down in five minutes.

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