Two Trifecta Wheels:

8 (Master David), 11 (The Cliff's Edge), 12 (Borrego), 18 (Tapit) WITH 8/11/12/18 WITH 3 (Lionheart) = $12

Repeat, with Lionheart keyed into Place, with 8/11/12/18 surrounding = $12

With the $26 remaining, take $5 to Win fliers on the following horses: Pollard's Vision, Friends Lake, Borrego, Read The Footnotes, Birdstone

Prices should be pretty healthy on these five, returning $60-$150 if they win.

Bot Genius wrote: "That hooker was my type of girl. Deliciously thick. Yum. And I have a hard time deciding if Aunt Haley is hot or not. Shes got a weird hairline, and semi-mongoloidal features. But somehow, she makes it work..."

Haley's hot for sure... she needs a new hair style, but I think they gave her the bangs to cove rup her HUGE forehead. I have a weakness for cokehead strippers like Homer Simpson has for Duff and jelly donuts. However, I don't think she's as hot as the other chicks.

1. Summer
2. Theresea
3. Marissa
4. Haley
5. Anna
6. Seth's Mom

Ah, Summer... I saw her on Jimmy Kimmel the other night. Wow.

Just on my tastes alone:

1. Anna
2. Summer (gets knocked down a point because my cousin is her doppelganger)
3. Teresa
4. Seth's mom
5. Marissa
6. Julie Cooper
7. Haley

I'd have to wedge Bonnie Somerville (the blonde lawyer hitting on Sandy at the new firm) in there at about #3, right above Teresa. And the hooker from last night, because of the bad hair, would be right about #4 behind Teresa.

She repeatedly sold marijuana, cocaine, acid and hallucinogenic mushrooms to undercover cops, even after being busted for pot possession in New Jersey, prosecutors said.

The budding pusher was so bold, she routinely shorted the narcs — once giving a cop an eighth of an ounce of marijuana and charging him for half an ounce...

Diaco's arrest was the talk of NYU, where students said it was obvious something fishy had been going on in her dorm room. "I was kind of surprised it took until the end of April," said one freshman who lives on her floor. "Today might be the first day in a few months that the entire floor won't smell like pot."

I'll be going on Fox today at 2:30pm to talk about al-Qaeda terrorist Abu Musab al-Zarqawi and U.S. efforts to snag him after a string of terror attacks in Iraq and elsewhere.

Most were shocked to learn that, by age 65, the average American will have watched nine years of television. Looking back on our lives from the rocking chair, do you suppose we'll wonder what grand dreams we might have chased with those hours instead?

A kangaroo named Lulu is to receive a national bravery award after raising the alarm to save an Australian farmer knocked unconscious by a fallen tree branch.

I'm not a tourney report writer. Grubby is good at that. So is Pauly. Me, I'm a trip report writer, which sucks when I've just taken second place in a True Poker multi-table tournament. I didn't take a trip. I sat here for hours while my back turned into a giant monkey fist and I let some chump (actually, he was a helluva player) take first place. Now I'm all jacked up on adrenaline and testosterone. It's almost 2am. I have to get up in five hours for a very important court hearing. And I can't move from this chair.

It's at this point that I quite seriously asked myself, "What would Pauly do?"

Unfortunately, I have no frame of reference. I'm southern (by marriage anyway), he's city. He just went to Vegas, I haven't been in seven months. He would have something interesting to say here. Damn it.

Papa bear was on hand, giving his progeny his blessing. Big John shook hands with the university suits who remembered what a grand time they had in the 1980s, when the Hoyas and their coach were king and pity the visiting sophomore who came into the paint with a meek layup.

But after the sap had dried and the nostalgia had played out, was it awful to inquire: Why this blast from the past?

Really, of all the important college jobs John Thompson, Hall of Famer, could have helped procure for his son, John III, who gave up a very good gig at Princeton, why rebuilding Georgetown?

Pretty damn good movie, even with all the krazy Monty Python pressure-sprayer spurting blood. Tarantino is obviously certifiable, and might possibly have a few issues he's working out on screen. Uma's hotter than a $2 pistol. Daryl Hannah gives me the creeps with that Red Cross eye-patch.

About 700,000 people were arrested in the United States for violating marijuana laws in 2002 (the most recent year for which statistics are available) — more than were arrested for heroin or cocaine. Almost 90 percent of these marijuana arrests were for simple possession, a crime that in most cases is a misdemeanor. But even a misdemeanor conviction can easily lead to time in jail, the suspension of a driver's license, the loss of a job. And in many states possession of an ounce is a felony. Those convicted of a marijuana felony, even if they are disabled, can be prohibited from receiving federal welfare payments or food stamps. Convicted murderers and rapists, however, are still eligible for those benefits.

This year the White House's national antidrug media campaign will spend $170 million, working closely with the nonprofit Partnership for a Drug-Free America. The idea of a "drug-free America" may seem appealing. But it's hard to believe that anyone seriously hopes to achieve that goal in a nation where millions of children are routinely given Ritalin, antidepressants are prescribed to cure shyness, and the pharmaceutical industry aggressively promotes pills to help middle-aged men have sex. Clearly, some recreational drugs are thought to be O.K. Thus it isn't surprising that the Partnership for a Drug-Free America originally received much of its financing from cigarette, alcohol and pharmaceutical companies like Hoffmann-La Roche, Philip Morris, R. J. Reynolds and Anheuser-Busch.

Here's an idea: people who smoke too much marijuana should be treated the same way as people who drink too much alcohol. They need help, not the threat of arrest, imprisonment and unemployment.

More important, denying a relatively safe, potentially useful medicine to patients is irrational and cruel. In 1972 a commission appointed by President Richard Nixon concluded that marijuana should be decriminalized in the United States. The commission's aim was not to encourage the use of marijuana, but to "demythologize it." Although Nixon rejected the commission's findings, they remain no less valid today: "For the vast majority of recreational users," the 2002 Canadian Senate committee found, "cannabis use presents no harmful consequences for physical, psychological or social well-being in either the short or long term."

The current war on marijuana is a monumental waste of money and a source of pointless misery. America's drug warriors, much like its marijuana smokers, seem under the spell of a powerful intoxicant. They are not thinking clearly.

If only it were that easy. I had a bad feeling about the tournament. Why? Because I was in the middle of a horrible nightmare. What's worse? Getting no cards and losing or getting good cards and losing? OK. We're on the same friggin' page here. Let's continue. Ever since I arrived in Vegas, I have never seen so many pairs. Pocket pairs. High ones. The Jerkoffs. The Hiltons. The Dudes. (My nicknames for pocket J-Q-K). And this ain't online poker I'm moaning about (I'm convinced the sites are programmed to give out a higher percentage of better hands than in "real life") and I'm talking about Las Fuckin' Vegas. I was playing live games daily and saw a ridiculous amount of top tier playing hands... so much that I've been able to play much tighter and muck those marginal hands which got me in a slew of trouble. It's easy to fold an A-small when you know a pocket pair is coming soon. I eagerly kissed the illustrious K-Jo good bye especially when I knew the Hilton Sisters are right around the corner. I haven't played KJo in weeks. And that Varkoyni hand... Q-10? See ya! Have fun in Brooklyn with all the other babushkas.

So in Vegas I got hot cards. Sizzling. I had burn marks on my fingers from all the hot cards I got, just like a crackhead developed after firing up too many late afternoon hits off the crackpipe. Ensuing, was a desperate series of beat downs.... like when those baton swinging, water spraying, juiced-up Chicago cops beat up all those hippies en masse at the 1968 Democratic National Convention. It was bloody chaos. Outdrawn. Badbeated. River'd. Smacked down like a redheaded child at a family picnic. Monsters losing to field mice. You get the gist.

And this past weekend on the tables at Party Poker were no better. Al Can't Hang witnessed the carnage, as did many of you.

Exhibit 1a: Sun, 11:17am EST... 4-4 losing to 3-4o. Party Fish called my preflop raise in LP and my reraised me on the flop 2-4-7 after I made my set. When he caught the straight on the river, he wrote in the chat. "Sorry, I thought you were bluffing?"

With a distasteful shake of my head, I kept plodding though the online waters and saw great hand after hand being taken down. It spooked me for sure, and was part of the reason I walked into Ferrari's not feeling so good about my game. But like Woody Allen said...

The NL Tournament Players
Seat 1: Pauly
Seat 2: Austin aka College Boy
Seat 3: Coach
Seat 4: Ugarte
Seat 5: Rick Blaine
Seat 6: Mike 1.0
Seat 7: James
Seat 8: Swish
Seat 9: Mike 2.0
Seat 10: Ferrari

There were four guys named Mike at the game. But I was most happiest that Swish showed up! He moved to DC recently and made the drive just to play and see everyone. That was way cool. The games have lacked a certain... je ne sais quois... since Swish moved. Anyway, everyone got $100 in chips to equal their buy-in. Top 4 places paid: 50%, 25%, 15%, and 10%. $500 to the winner. I was looking to make my money back... at least.

Congrats to the winner: James. He rallied back from next to nothing to beat Ugarte headsup. And good job to Ugarte, who pulled in a second place finish. And yeah, I was impressed with the exploits of College Boy, who was a good sport the entire night, allowing everyone to let his moniker stick. Well College Boy schooled most of us.

The Final Tally:
1. $500 James
2. $250 Ugarte
3. $150 College Boy
4. $100 Ferrari

5. Mike 2.0
6. Mike 1.0
7. Coach
8. Rick Blaine
9. Pauly
10. Swish

Congrats again to the winners and thanks to Ferrari for organizing the event.

Marie showed up to join the side game which was played on Ferrari's coffee table and on his couch. It reminded me of the home games I played back in my college days in Atlanta... at Jerry and Schanzer's apartment. That was when we would have two games going on at once... with upwards of 14 people playing at the dining room table and on the coffee table. The sorortiy girls who lived across the hall were hooked. They played every night with us, yep... every night in the summer of 1994 that we played poker. And yeah Schanzer had a three legged cat to amuse us in between hands. Those were the days, and I might get around to writing up some great stories from games that happened a decade ago this upcoming summer. Good times for sure.

OK, flashback aside, it was fun to get a cash game going. Rick sat on the floor. Marie sat on the edge of the coffee table and Swish opened up the window to get some fresh air into the apartment. And that led to some comic relief. Ferrari has two cats and one of them was attracted to the ledge of the window. Despite plenty of pleas to the "tournament table" about the curious cat, Ferrari insisted that the cats were fine and not to worry about a wide open window. Ferrari lives on the 19th floor, but he was bogged down in the middle of a hand... so we were all still concerned for the cats safety. Swish blurted out, "This is like a Disney flick... That Darn Cat!" To which, Coach could not stop laughing. He was brought to tears over the obscure Disney reference, and Swish showed us why he's missed at the games ever week. And in some morbid way, we all agreed that it would have been kinda cool to see a cat fall 19 stories. Not necessarily Ferrari's cat. That would have been fucked up. But not on our watch, so Swish closed the window and the cat drama ceased.

The Nihilist is the typical tourney player who complains about a bad beat. Accept that short term luck is the most important factor in tourneys. Your AA is a big favorite, but not that big. Suck it up and get ready for the next tourney.

Once again I am in de Nile, and the water smells like every single Egyptian is trying to take a piss on my head. I am a better player than these idiots. One rocket scientist called three bets pre-flop with T3 off only to kick my KK in the head with a runner runner flush. I mean someone's got to be scripting this shit right? Online poker is rigged, and it's rigged to kick me square in the junk whenver I have just gotten over the last time it kicked me in the junk.

I am writing to invite you to join together to witness to and stop a genocide. The genocide is happenng right now in Sudan, as we speak, in the area known as Darfur.  Despite the Sudanese government's trying to cover it up--by blocking press and NGO access (e.g. an Al Jazeera reporter was put in prison last week for trying to report), as well as using as surrogates "private militias" that are government supplied, the word is getting out.  But not enough is being done, not enough world attention is flowing into witness and intervention, and the aid and human rights organizations in the area need money for supplies and transportation and communication.

The janjaweed are no longer simply militias supported by the Sudanese government. These militias work in unison with government troops, with total impunity for their massive crimes. Human Rights Watch has documented dozens of attacks by Arab militias, known as janjaweed, in almost a month of research inside Darfur.

I feel famous like Iggy or Pauly.

In the last three years, Israel has taken out dozens of top Hamas operatives in the West Bank, and it vows to hit more. Following the Yassin and Rantisi executions, a number of Hamas leaders in Gaza went underground, fearing for their lives.

Hamas is further frustrated by successful Israeli efforts to stymie attacks. Specifically, the West Bank security fence has prevented suicide attacks from former Hamas strongholds in the northern West Bank towns of Jenin and Nablus.

Whereas these two towns were once a common launch point for suicide operations in Israel, the new barrier has all but reduced Hamas’ ability to attack from there. According to Israeli intelligence sources, the inability to attack, in addition to the targeted assassinations of a number of Hamas leaders, has actually led recently to a small decline in popularity for Hamas in the West Bank.

U.S. military spokesman Lt. Col. Matthew Beevers said Saturday that Tillman was killed in a firefight at about 7 p.m. on a road near Sperah, about 25 miles southwest of a U.S. base at Khost. After coming under fire, Tillman's patrol got out of their vehicles and gave chase, moving toward the spot of the ambush. Beevers said the fighting was "sustained" and lasted 15-20 minutes.

Other executives complained bitterly that the Department of Homeland Security is making it so hard for legitimate foreigners to get visas to study or work in America that many have given up the age-old dream of coming here. Instead, they are studying in England and other Western European nations, and even China. This is leading to a twofold disaster.

First, one of America's greatest assets — its ability to skim the cream off the first-round intellectual draft choices from around the world and bring them to our shores to innovate — will be diminished, and that in turn will shrink our talent pool. And second, we could lose a whole generation of foreigners who would normally come here to study, and then would take American ideas and American relationships back home. In a decade we will feel that loss in America's standing around the world.

The Players:
Seat 1: Old Japanese Guy
Seat 2: Rich Local = Mr. Big Shot
Seat 3: Crazy British Guy
Seat 4: Young Dorky Kid a.k.a. Unabomber Wannabe
Seat 5: Elderly Black Guy
Seat 6: Old White Guy
Seat 7: Midwestern Tourist
Seat 8: NJ Tourist
Seat 9: Pauly
Seat 10: Local Pro

Binion's looks nice since they reopened the place. I got there early at noon to play in the daily satellites. I came in 4th out of 10 in a single table tournament. $125 was the buy-in. The winner got $1000 in Tournament chips... good towards the next round of the shootout or to use in any 2004 WSoP event. My table was a mixture of a few tourists and Binion's locals, otherwise known as sharks.

04-23-94 Fox Theater, Atlanta, GA

1: Funky Bitch, Rift, Fee-> Peaches en Regalia, Poor Heart, Stash, Esther, Down With Disease, Caravan*, High-Heel Sneakers*

2: Wilson-> Run Like an Antelope, Mound, Sample in a Jar, Sparkle, Ginseng Sullivan**, Harry Hood, You Enjoy Myself-> Keyboard Jam#-> Who by Fire, Golgi Apparatus

E: Freebird

*With Merl Saunders on keyboards.
**Acoustic and without mics.
#With Colonel Bruce Hampton and all of Phish on keyboards.

April 19, 1995 I was driving to work when I turned on my radio in the middle of pleas for donations of blood and where to go. Something bad had happened, but I didn't know what. I thought a gas main must have blown.

When I got to work, I turned on a little tv I had in my office for weather emergencies (I was managing a performing arts facility at the time). I still could not determine what had happened. It wasn't until I got online that the story began to piece together. A car bomb had exploded and destroyed the Murrah Building. People were killed and many injured. As the details and speculation began to mount, shock and disbelief set in. Of course, I, like so many others, immediately blamed "them" - foreign terroists. The shock and disbelief was nothing, though, to the utter outrage I would feel later upon learning that it was one of "our own" who perpetrated this evil.

As the day wore on, I remained glued to the television, radio, internet - anything that would keep me informed. Gradually an overwhelming need to "do something" to help swept over me. I was not alone in that feeling. Thousands of other Oklahomans were feeling the same way. It's what we do. In times of disaster and tragedy we help one another.

Periodically during the reports, a request for needed items at the site would go out. One of the requests was for pillows, blankets, tarps, and umbrellas - bad weather had started to come in. At last - something I could do. I had several umbrellas at the theatre that had been left behind after events and numerous extra pillows and a tarp at my house. I also grabbed every blanket I had and loaded everything in my truck and drove up to the city to the drop-off location, just a few blocks from the site.

The collusion between Iraqi Shi'i and Sunni elements took many by surprise. After all, dominance by the minority Sunnis over the majority, downtrodden Shi'i population has generated mistrust and hatred for almost a century. A recently intercepted memo from al-Qaeda associate Abu Musab al-Zarqawi even revealed plans to exploit this historical friction by prompting internecine conflict between the two communities. While the most recent example of Shi'i-Sunni collusion against U.S. forces in Iraq was brief, the situation will require careful monitoring. A historical precedent of significant Shi'i-Sunni cooperation does exist both in Iraq and in other parts of the region.

4.17.04 Las Vegas, NV
Set I (1:20): Soul Shakedown Party, Halley's Comet > Tweezer, Ginseng Sullivan, Horn, Sample in a Jar, Piper > Frankenstein, David Bowie

Set II (1:35): Meatstick, Pebbles and Marbles > Prince Caspian > Simple, Friday, Ghost, You Enjoy Myself, Tweezer (Meatstick) Reprise***

Encore: Wolfman's Brother, The Squirming Coil

*** Tweezer Reprise had replacemnt lyrics: "Wont You Step Into The Meatstick"

Phish 4.16.04 Las Vegas, NV
Set (1:15): Seven Below, Rock & Roll > Boogie On Reggae Woman, Back on the Train > Possum, Strange Design, Gumbo, Brian & Robert, Taste

Set 2 (1:50): Gotta Jibboo > Twist, Camel Walk, Wilson, HYHU > Love You > HYHU, Waves, Life Boy, Silent in the Morning > The Horse, Loving Cuo

Encore (0:10): Harry Hood

1. Fluffhead
2. Funkify Your Life!
3. Tela
4. Play Fluffhead for us newlyweds.
5. The G-Spot

4.14.04 Las Vegas, NV
Set 1: Buried Alive > AC/DC Bag, Limb by Limb, Moma Dance, Old Home Place, Roggae, Water in the Sky, All of these Dreams, Stash > Timber Ho!

Set 2: 46 Days, Drowned > 2001 > Down with Disease > Free, Scent of a Mule > Girls, Girls, Girls** (Jay-Z cover) > Scent of a Mule, Secret Smile, Crowd Control, Slave to the Traffic Light

Encore: Sneakin' Sally Through the Alley > Vocal Jam

Notes: ** with Jen Hartswick

Phish Summer Tour
June 17 KeySpan Park, Brooklyn, NY
June 18 KeySpan Park, Brooklyn, NY
June 19 Saratoga Performing Arts Center, Saratoga Springs, NY
June 20 Saratoga Performing Arts Center, Saratoga Springs, NY
June 23 Verizon Wireless Music Center, Noblesville, IN (Deer Creek)
June 24 Verizon Wireless Music Center, Noblesville, IN (Deer Creek)
June 25 Alpine Valley, East Troy, WI
June 26 Alpine Valley, East Troy, WI

August 10 Tweeter Center, Mansfield, MA (Great Woods)
August 11 Tweeter Center, Mansfield, MA (Great Woods)
August 12 Tweeter Center, Camden, NJ

1. Her boobs.
2. Her tan.
3. Her dyed blonde hair.

10-31-98 Thomas and Mack Center, Las Vegas, NV

1: Axilla (I), Punch You in the Eye, Roggae, Birds of a Feather, Sneakin' Sally Through the Alley -> Chalk Dust Torture -> Lawn Boy, Mike's Song* -> Frankie Says -> Weekapaug Groove (1:15)

2: Who Loves the Sun, Sweet Jane, Rock and Roll, Cool It Down, New Age, Head Held High, Lonesome Cowboy Bill, I Found a Reason, Train Round the Bend, Oh! Sweet Nuthin' (1:20)

3: Wolfman's Brother** -> Piper -> Ghost (0:55)

E: Sleeping Monkey, Tweezer Reprise (0:09)

Set 2 was the "musical costume", the album "Loaded" by The Velvet Underground. The vocal breakdown for that set is: "Who Loves the Sun" (Trey); "Sweet Jane" (Page); "Rock and Roll" (Page); "Cool It Down" (Trey/Page); "New Age" (Trey); "Head Held High" (Trey); "Lonesome Cowboy Bill" (Fish); "I Found A Reason" (Trey/Mike); "Train Round the Bend" (Mike/Fish); "Oh! Sweet Nuthin'" (Page).

*With "Simple" teases. **With a 15-minute Ambient Jam (remniscent of Lemonwheel Ambient set; possibly including "Lifeboy," "Esther," "Makisupa" teases; with a glowstick war, lots of fog, and Fish on vacuum; ending with a "Ghost" tease). Then followed a 5-minute funk jam (similar to Traffic's "Low Sparks of High-Heeled Boys"; ended with a "Sleeping Monkey" tease) and then a quiet jam before segueing into "Piper." Altogether, more than 22 minutes between "Wolfman's" and "Piper."

11:39pm EST... I called a preflop raise from Coach. I should had known that he had a premium hand, but I suspected he had a marginal hand was raising only because he was on the button. Man... was I wrong. I had J-10 suited so I called. The flop: A-K-Q. Coach had trip Aces. I flopped a Broadway straight. I was properly fucked on the turn like a cheap strung out hooker... when a King fell and Coach made his fullhouse. "Oh the humanity!" as Iggy would scream in a drunken tirade! I suspected superhuman strength when he raised me. I just called and prayed for a miracle on the river. Alas, I was drawing dead. He flipped over his cards... and I was smoked. Aces full of Kings. That whooped my straight. I had just fifty cents left... and felt so.... used and abused and had no money left. I should have chosen a career in porn, sure, I'm still just a piece of meat, but at least I would have gotten off few times.

1. Know exactly how much you're prepared to lose when you sit down. I mean, exactly. It's your "Worst-case Scenario" figure. You don't even have to tell anyone what it is.

2. If you're getting killed at one casino, leave treadmarks and head to another.

3. If you don't like the way other people are playing at the table, or if you're getting a bad vibe from the dealer, just find another table. It's that easy.

4. Pace yourself. You know the old saying, "It's a marathon, not a sprint"? Well, Saturday gambling is like a triathlon. Just make sure you don't pull a Julie Moss.

I picked up the phone, flipped open the top and questioned, "Uh, hell-o?" "Is Chris Rock there?" Chris Rock?! Of course not! That's ridiculous. "No," I replied. I figured the caller's asking for "Chris Rock" must have been some sort of inside joke with a friend of his, but he'd dialed my number instead of his friend's by mistake. I continued, "This is my new cell phone number -- so you've got the wrong number." "Oh," the caller replied, "I must have dialed wrong." We hung up, and I didn't think anything more of it.

In addition to his fourth-inning dinger, Crosby recorded five putouts, including a courageous catch on Magglio Ordonez's third-inning liner, a snag that sent Crosby face-first into the wall in right-center.

"I know it's padded, I know it's safe," he said with a laugh. "I know it's not gonna hurt too much."

Actually, Crosby said, the violent collision felt great, partially because he never knew how it felt to hear 37,484 fans cheering for him, but mostly because he knew how much yesterday meant to Mussina. The righty had failed in four previous chances to reach 200; after giving up three runs in the first inning it looked he would come up short again.

Heard the new album... it's fuckin sick... like disco funky Pink Floyd Zepplin craziness and it's called UNDERMIND... and Scents and Subtle Sounds, Spread It Around and Crowd Control... are on it and lots of super cool new songs.

"Somedays you're the pigeon, and somedays you're the statue." - The Poker Penguin

Arab leaders also have a vital interest in working with the U.S. to quell the turmoil in Iraq and to re-empower the potentially moderate center. As unpleasant as it may be for them to help the Bush team — and as worrisome as free elections in Iraq might be to unelected leaders of the Arab world — having oil-rich Iraq taken over partly by Baathist radicals happy to work with Al Qaeda and partly by Shiite radicals happy to work with Iran will be even worse. It will empower radicals across the Arab region, and freeze the infant reform process there.

In Ireland, where the slogan "Guinness Is Good for You" was born, the stout's medicinal uses are the stuff of legend. Diageo, the U.S. distributor of Guinness, makes no claims about its medical benefits, says spokeswoman Beth Davies from the company's offices in Stamford, Conn. But a visitor to Ireland might hear accounts (most no longer, if ever, true) of Guinness administered to nursing mothers, blood donors, stomach and intestinal post-operative patients and mothers recovering from childbirth.

"Pregnant women and racehorses, one a day," says Michael Foley of Wethersfield, Conn., standing over a pint of Guinness in the subterranean bar at the Irish American Home Society in Glastonbury, Conn.

Tilt Boy: games not over yet bro, we will see the competence level i posses as oppsed to u
Tilt Boy: dont judge me by what u dont know
Iggy: let me guess
Iggy: public schools tilt boy?
Boy Genius: phonics monkey?
Tilt Boy: no, i go to the largest business school in new england
Tilt Boy: didnt know i had to spell words correctly for u morons to read what i write
Tilt Boy: but i be more careful from now on
Tilt Boy: and competence is judge based on a type-o?
Boy Genius: no, it's judgeD based on a typo
Tilt Boy: well i would like to say im pleased to be in a room full of brilliance
Boy Genius: good to see the largest B-school in all of NE can help you identify genius
Tilt Boy: no, someone made a comment about public schools
Iggy: i did!
Boy Genius: i'm the freaking ron popeil of poker
Tilt Boy: IT ISNT A PUBLIC SCHOOL
Iggy: shouldnt you be on a ledge somewhere?
Tilt Boy: wtf is this the spanish inquisition
PaulyMcGrupp: hey tough guy tilt boy, do u go to harvard b-school?
Boy Genius: no one expects the spanish inquisition
Tilt Boy: no, bentley college
PaulyMcGrupp: then stop talkin smack
Iggy: sometimes when i sneeze i pee
Boy Genius: yeah, b-school certainly trains the next wave of independent thought
Tilt Boy: what do you do for a living bro?
Boy Genius: all you need to know is that i like two things
Boy Genius: bubble gum and kicking some a
Boy Genius: and i'm all out of bubble gum

Suddenly I pay a bit more attention to who is at one of my tables. It's none other than Pauly! Wow! I have an almost WPT qualifier gracing my presence at the 50/1 table!

Pauly went down a bit and then showed the table why he belongs at the WPT as he went on a big run. I continued on my good run there and thankfully we weren't in too many pots together...

I'll be on for a blip tonight on the CBS nightly news at 6:30 pm EST. It's pre-recorded, and I'd be surprised if my part was more than 10 secs.

I'm tired. My head hurts. My brain is all foggy. And I don't have a hangover to thank for it. I had a quick drinky after my poker meeting and then home for dinner and the WPT Super Satellite. I was pumped and ready to win. Bellagio here I come.

Ah, crap. I'm not playing, I'm watching Pauly. Living my poker life vicariously through everyone else. I'm better at the rail than at the table.

Watching this tournament was like watching a 12 round heavyweight fight. Pauly kept battling from level to level. Taking some beatings. Getting off the canvas and giving 'em right back. At one point, late in the tourney, he was near the short stack for the whole field and survived some all-in's to get back over the stack average. One early memorable all-in had Pauly's Ace out kicked pre-flop and it looked like the end for our hero. Fate intervened and two pair hit the board and the pot was split.

Alas, my dream of joining the Pauly Poker Posse at the Bellagio will go unfulfilled. He was able to hang on and play his big cards to keep pace but eventually ran out of steam. Even though he didn't make the money, hopefully he'll get some comfort in beating out 300 other players without stellar cards to build his stack with. (Unlike one player who pulled AA and QQ twice in 6 hands).

I'm sure Pauly will have a nice long post-tournament post/rant later today. What really impressed me was the number of railbirds cheering him on. It seemed like every break in the action had another poker blogger wishing him luck. It was very impressive.

In the realm of “let that be a lesson to me,” Pauly did a masterful job of disciplining himself, playing fewer than 10 hands (more like maybe six) into the flop over the course of the hour plus I was watching. Never got baited into making a bad call, and made a couple of real nice laydowns too.

One in particular would have been a severe tilt hand for me. Pauly, in the BB (I think), limped in with what I’m guessing was a K9 or A9. Flop comes 997. Jackpot! A set with a great kicker. Pauly kept it a little too sensible methinks, check/calling his set (I’m only assuming he made a set) to see the turn with about four others. Turn shows a 6, and now we’ve got a whole bunch of straight potential on the board. If memory serves, this is where Pauly check/folded his way out of the hand. Good thing too, as the river provided a T, and any knucklehead with an 8 (yep, there was an 8) had made his straight.

Those are the types of hands that kill me. At least Pauly had the good sense to just call on the flop (again, assuming he was playing at least a set). With four others in the pot, it would make sense to hope something like a 3 or 4 would show up on the turn. A blank like that would hopefully help no one, and would open the door for a set to be bet heavily. Normally, on a flop like that one, I’d have probably went in for a raise, and someone with 8T would have chased. And, of course, hit the straight. And I would have been stinging from the hit.

Good and sensible. That’s our Pauly.

It breaks my heart to see that he finished 12th. Out of 300+, that’s nine places out of the top prize (the trip to the Bellagio and a seat at the WPT Championship Tournament), and six places out of at least having some cash to show for your troubles.

I think I’d rather get knocked out in 74th place by a well-placed trap than finish so tantalizingly close to the money. I’m sure it felt so close that he could taste it.

By the way, just based on the pictures on his site, can anyone just not see Pauly in a logo golf shirt and fancypants baseball cap plastered with the PartyPoker logo? Moneymaker looked like an accountant/Saturday morning golfer because he is an accountant/probable Saturday morning golfer. Is there logo gear for the drunken tortured artist? Has Charles Bukowski ever inspired a line of clothing onto which we could embroider the PartyPoker logo?

I think if Bukowski did inspire a line of clothes, they’d be scratch and sniff and reek of cheap bourbon and stale cigarettes. Maybe they’d have Grr-animal style mix-n-match tags on them too, with pictures of Marlboro Reds, ten dollar whores, and fifths of Ol Grandad. Regardless, I’m not real certain half-century old tattered tweed blazers, shirts that have been so carelessly laundered that the collars lay flat, butterflied across the width of one’s shoulders, and a weather-beaten fedora that looks like it came directly off the corpse of Shirley Povich, really would look appropriate with a logo applied.

Of course, I’m sure that if any of us were given a seat in the WPT Championship on the condition that we play the tournament in a diaper and six inch stripper heels, we’d all just be looking to make sure there were extra safety pins handy all week. Hell, I’d let Kotex put a sandwich board around my neck if they let me play in the tournament. I’m not above shilling.

Monday nights at Signor Ferrari's is some of the best fun I have had playing poker. A few regulars were absent due to the High holidays, so we had several new players join the game which added a different flavor to the already usual mix of gamblers. Overall it was another epic game that lasted until the wee hours in the latest game I ever played at Ferrari's. It was also cool that he had the NCAA Final game in HD TV on in the background.

The Players:

Seat 1: Marie
Seat 2: Coach
Seat 3: Austin **
Seat 4: Signor Ferrari
Seat 5: Christian
Seat 6: James **
Seat 7: Mike **
Seat 8: Diane **
Seat 9: Pauly

What kind of fellow blogger am I? I forgot to mention that Pauly is playing in the WPT Super Satellite tonight at 9pm Eastern (on Party Poker). If you're around, log on and give him support.

Oh yeah, Mrs. CantHang said if Pauly gets a seat in the big game, I can go to Vegas and be part of the Pauly Poker Posse. I'll be the ugly biker type body guard pushing the paparazzi away and making sure Paris (Hilton) has full access.

Anniversaries are awful. You sit there, receive congratulations and stuff like some kind of dog that has done something very clever, except that you haven't done anything clever at all. You were just born a number of years ago the same date as today, and the one who should really get all the nice words is the mother, naturally, who pulled it through (and the doctors who pulled you out:).

"Meh. There's one less Junkie in the world," I said. The truth was, I'd recently lost a dear friend to suicide, and Kurt's death brought back a lot of unresolved sorrow over my own loss.

I didn't know Kurt, and his death didn't greatly impact my life. But I knew his music, and when I came to understand his addiction, and his frustrations with the music industry's efforts to turn him into just another commodity, I felt sad for him, and mourned his loss.

I don't think Kurt Cobain was that great a musician, and I can speak from experience, because even I was able to play along with most of Nevermind, without learning any new chords. But he was an amazing writer, and his real legacy can be seen in garage bands and on record store shelves all over the world. Dave was right: without Kurt Cobain and Nirvana, there would be no Perl Jam, no Soundgarden, no Alice in Chains, and Seattle would just be this mysterious city where it rains a lot.

After several months of intensive investigation, including dozens of taped interviews with Cobain's closest friends and family members, I reached the conclusion that Courtney Love and Michael Dewitt, (the male nanny who lived at the Cobain residence), were involved in a conspiracy that resulted in the murder of Kurt Cobain.

It appears this was not the first attempt on Cobain's life by Courtney Love. It was, however, the first to succeed... Motivated by profit, rather than truth, Courtney Love and her attorney's have taken drastic measures in an effort to keep the public from learning the true facts of this case. In spite of all their hot air, this investigation has received coverage in hundreds of major magazines, television and radio talk shows around the world.

THE OBVIOUS QUESTIONS:

1. If Cobain injected himself with a deliberate heroin overdose, why would he ALSO shoot himself in the head with a shotgun, leaving his baby daughter - the love of his life - with horrific visual images to remember him by? Why not just "go to sleep" on the overdose and never wake up?

2. IF Cobain injected three times a lethal dose of heroin, COULD he then pick up a shotgun and shoot himself? Wouldn't he have been immediately incapacitated?

Based on the heroin, (morphine), blood levels found in Cobain's body, preliminary research indicates Kurt Cobain would have been immediately incapacitated. He could not have picked up that shotgun. He could not have pulled that trigger!

The Money Winners:
1. $100 - Buzzer Beaters (Lanlow)
2. $50 - Inside the Paris Hilton (Pauly 2)
3. $25 - Coach's 4 Corners (Coach)
4. $15 - Sheer Ang Madness (Ang Sheer)
LAST PLACE: $10 - Shaved & Barley Legal

Overall Final Standings:
1 buzzer beaters (d. wallowicz) 1080
2 Inside the Paris Hilton (Pauly 2) 1000
3 Coach's 4corners (Coach) 930
4 Sheer anGmaDNESs (Ang Sheer) 910
5 Capital Jay (Jay Sheer) 900
6 Engel Entry 1 (Jerry) 890
7 Nietzsche's Bikini Babes (Pauly 1) 880
8 My iPOD made My picks (Gil 2) 810
8 PotO gold (Spider) 810
10 Don't Mess With Ugarte (Ugarte) 790
11 Homer's Hard Wood (Derek 2) 770
12 I Hope I Win (Matt H.) 760
13 Stein Entry 2 (Ferrari) 720
14 Chico's Bail Bonds (Derek 1) 710
15 The Brooklyn Embeds (Gil 1) 690
16 Oyster Bay Orangemen (Jowe Moore) 640
17 Come on Last Place (Al Cant Hang 2) 630
18 Sheer JODDMaDNeSs (Jodd) 610
19 Sheer SHeErMAdneSs (Senor) 600
19 Stanford killed me (Al Cant Hang) 600
21 Shaved and Barley Legal (Haley & Jenna) 470

It was a shot that meant nothing to some and everything to others.

When Duke senior Chris Duhon nailed a 38-foot three-point shot off one leg as time expired in the semifinal game against the University of Connecticut on Saturday night, the Blue Devils still lost the game. But to those who wagered on the blue and white, the fortuitous bank shot that made the final score 79-78 meant that the underdogs covered the spread, which was between two and three points.

Those who put money on the Huskies, who had a 12-point run late in the game to take the lead, suddenly had lost their bet. Those who put money on Duke to cover collected their winnings.

With approximately $100 million being bet on March Madness each year in Las Vegas and about $2.5 billion wagered online according to the FBI, the Duhon shot transferred anywhere from $30 million to $100 million from those who bet on UConn to cover the point spread to those who bet on Duke to cover, as estimated by those closely tied to the sports gambling business.

The Satndings:
1 buzzer beaters (d. wallowicz) 920
2 Sheer anGmaDNESs (Ang Sheer) 910
3 Capital Jay (Jay Sheer) 900
4 Engel Entry 1 (Jerry) 890
5 Nietzsche's Bikini Babes (Pauly 1) 880
6 Inside the Paris Hilton (Pauly 2) 840
7 My iPOD made My picks (Gil 2) 810
7 PotO gold (Spider) 810
9 Homer's Hard Wood (Derek) 770
9 Coach's 4corners (Coach) 770
11 I Hope I Win, (Matt Huey) 760
12 Stein Entry (Signor Ferrari) 720
13 Chico's Bail Bonds (Derek) 710
14 The Brooklyn Embeds (Gil 1) 690
15 Oyster Bay Orangemen (J Mooore) 640
16 Come on Last Place (Al Cant Hang 2) 630
16 Don't Mess With Ugarte (Ugarte) 630
18 Sheer JODDMaDNeSs (Jodd Sheer) 610
19 Sheer SHeErMAdneSs (Senor) 610
19 Stanford killed me (Al Cant Hang) 600
21 Shaved and Barely Legal (Haley & Jenna) 470

The action was folded around to me and I limped in, and I mean limped. Now, I had Pauly next to me, and he was down to about $800, and I just KNEW he'd go all in. Of course he did, but I figured that it was worth the kick just to maybe double him up with the Hammer, and maybe, just maybe, even take him out.

Pauly loves Paris Hilton. It's so obvious and pathetic. Why don't you just rename your blog THE TAO OF PARIS

I watched Pauly play in his WPT Satellite. I was trying to play at the same time, but I noticed I was paying more attention to Pauly's table than mine...

I watched Pauly for quite a while, halfway through Level 2 until 5, then I missed 6 and part of 7 (wife time) and came back in time to see him short stacked to the left of a big, aggressive stack. He got bullied around a bit and went all in with KT. I thought he had it until the second A came up. Oh well, it was fun to watch and pull for him...

We got home in enough time to 'sit' at the rail and watch Pauly play in the WPT Bellagio Super Satellite. Unfortunately, by the time I got there, he was already short stacked and hanging on. He survived a couple all-in's but eventually was taken down. 71 out of 322 and players started dropping like flies shortly after. A valiant effort considering he was under T1000 for most of the time I was watching and the average stack was around T3000. Better luck next time Pauly!