Tao of Pauly

More Senor in Las Vegas Day 2

It's 4:57am. I'm drunk again and blogging.

Senor has a suite at the Luxor. He bribed the girl at the front desk with a big tip and got a free upgrade. I woke up late, slightly hungover and met Senor at the MGM. He already dropped $120 playing Caribbean Stud. He was playing NL in the poker room when I finally arrived. I sat down at a $4/8 table and won about $120. Senor was up $90 at the NL tables when we left. We ate at the Rainforest Cafe nearby. It's spooky in there, but the kids seem to love it. I would have loved to seen what that was like on ahead full of mushrooms. We popped into he sports book to check on a few scores. Senor had money on the Tampa Bay/Kansas City game. Don't ask me why.

Senor wanted to play in a NL tourney so we walked over to the Aladdin during a rare thunderstorm. I called Grubby and he drove over to play. Despite being late, he was added to the alternate list and got in. BJ from Cardplayer was at the Bellagio and he came over to play as well. We had a last longer bet, which Grubby ended up winning. He came in 9th and unfortunately bubbled out. Senor was the first of us busted within the first hour. BJ was out before the break and I managed to get to 22nd place. 65 players in all bought in for $60 and the top 8 places paid. At least Grubby won the last longer bet. You get $2000 in chips and within the first orbit I had $3K. I was eventually blinded out. I had pocket aces with a short stack but wasn't paid off. I was busted when my 7-7 ran into A-J and he rivered a Jack on me.

We headed over to Spearmint Rhino to see the lovely ladies take off their clothes and try to seduce us into foolishly blowing our poker bankrolls in the VIP room. Never go into the VIP. It's a black hole for your money. It's like taking "insurance" in Black Jack. It's a sucker's bet.

By the way, I still have the "stripper scent" all over my clothes. Ah, that's a tantalizing aroma. I've been trying to win enough money at the poker tables to cover my strip club expenses. I only dropped $160 in lap dances tonight. That's 8 "big bets" for all you strip club geeks out there. I got three from Ally. Two from Nicole. One from Heavenly. And I was tag teamed by two lesbians who kissed each other while they took turns grinding on top of me. Yeah it was just another Thursday night in Las Vegas.

Senor fell in love with a feisty stripper named Naya. He was also unimpressed with a half-Chinese and half-Japanese girl (who was oddly enough Canadian) named Keiko. She was nimble and I thought she was fine. Senor wasn't into her as much as I thought he'd be. She lived in Vancouver and we began the first of many conversations about marijuana that I'd have with various strippers. She told me that her sisters grows her own in British Columbia.

Ally commented on my Grateful Dead hat. She was skilled and would rub her butt into my chest. She wore a short plaid skirt and had the Catholic school girl look that always gets me excited. She smelled like peaches.

Nicole was my amour du jour. I called her the triple threat. She had personality. She had a sick body and smelled like the beach. And she gave a stellar lap dance which included some serious grinding. Her skin was smooth and soft to the touch. Both of her nipples were pierced and her ass was so tight that you you could bounce nickels off of it. She hung out with me for a long time and I eventually had to get a couple of dances from her. She definitely makes my Top 25 Strippers of All Time list.

The lesbian teams always get me. I'm such a sucker for threesomes. I guess I've built up such an erotic tolerance for naked women that I actually need two at a time to get off.

By the way, there's nothing more wretching than the emotional rollercoatser I endure when I have to turn down an ugly stripper who wandered by and tried to get me to buy a lap dance. I used to feel sorry for them. Back during our college days, Senor would throw sympathy dollars at the homely strippers.

After the visit to Spearmint Rhino, we headed to Excalibur to shoot craps. Senor doubled up his buy in. He bet the field during my roll. I hit 12 on consecutive throws and he ended up winning enough to cover his lap dance tab for the night. I barely dented mine. I won about $40. My craps winnings didn't even cover the bar tab.

It's technically Friday, which means more hijinks shall ensue. Expect some Pai Gow poker stories along with another adventure to a strip club. Maybe I'll start a series of Las Vegas books and include a stripper volume where I'll compile all my Existentialist Conversations with Strippers. Maybe I'll call it: The Tao of Lap Dances?