Tao of Pauly

Bathroom Fucking

At 2:17am, while I was taking a shit at Mandalay Bay in the bathroom near the sports book, a couple walked into the stall next to me and started fucking. The bathroom floor was black marble and offered a perfect reflection. So I watched. She wore sandals and her toe nails were painted pink. She moaned and groaned and a few guys at the urinals made jokes. The boyfriend insisted that his girlfriend was just throwing up, especially when a security guard knocked on the stall door a few minutes later.

Just another late Monday night in Las Vegas.

My flight was delayed. It was raining pretty hard upon my arrival. My rental car has California plates and the drive to Grubby's apartment took less than 15 minutes. We grabbed dinner at Green Valley Ranch at a place called Balboa's. It's a 24 hour pizza joint. I got the chips with chili con queso and a pizza with spicy sausage. Our waitress was kinda cute. Here's an actual conversation that went down.

Pauly: Dude, what do you think about our waitress?
Grubby: I don't think she's good looking.
Pauly: I'd still fuck her.
Grubby: Well of course, so would I.

Later on Grubby said our waitress was married. He saw her ring. If I knew that, I wouldn't have given her such a good tip. I wanted to go play poker, so we met up with Bobby Bracelet at Mandalay Bay. We drank at the bar near the sports book and hung out for several hours.

That's it for now. I have to get up in a few hours to head over to the Bellagio for the start of the WPT event.


***** Update *****

6:01pm... I've been getting swarmed with responses over the bathroom incident. One dude walked up to me at the Bellagio and asked me a slew of questions about what went down last night. Here is one email in particular that sums up what a lot of you have been wondering!

Dear Sir:

With regards to your posting on 10/18/05 ("Bathroom Fucking"), I would like some additional details about this event. In speaking about this event with other readers of your blog, I/we have a few queries that I/we was/were hoping you could kindly answer:

1) How much time transpired when you were moving your bowels?
2) Did the party in the stall next to you ("The Couple") climax?
3) Do you know if they were "Clenching" (was he sitting on the toilet with an erect penis while she rode him either facing the wall or facing the stall door)? My friends and I assume that they were having reverse intercourse (commonly referred to as "doggystyle") but we would like a confirmation about this.
4) What sort of jokes were the gentlemen at the urinals making?
5) You mention that the floors gave a sort of reflection. Were you able to see breasts or other intimate body parts?

The answering of these questions would put our collective minds at rest. Please keep up the good work and I look forward to hearing back from you in a timely fashion.

-Warmest Regards,
Brendan

Here's my weak attempt to answer all your questions, Brendan.

1. I was in the bathroom for about 7-10 minutes.

2. I'm prety sure no one came. Not even me. Although I think I popped a half-a-wood during all of this.

3. They were both facing the wall with the toilet. I guess you can say they were standing up and doing it doggie style.

4. One guy joked, "I'm sure she has an empty hole!" Another guy said, "Shotgun anus!" And yet another said, "I hope that's not two guys."

5. I got to see some ass, both the guy and the girl. She wore a jean skirt. She left first and the guy left a few moments afterwards. I managed to leave in between the both of them, so I saw her satnding outside the bathroom. She was shitfaced and kinda looked like Princess Fergie.

I hope that clarifies the situation for all of you.