Tao of Pauly

Project Greenlight Update: Charlie's Goldfish Mini-Reviews

I have decided to blog a few excerpts from the five reviews I had gotten. I will blog the entire reviews later this week. Here you go. Here is what some of the other contestants and reviewers from PGL said about my script, Charlie's Goldfish.

Good Stuff:

"This script was a joy to read! I found this story to be charming,
emotion provoking and sweet! The writer of this script has talent
and needs to continue writing."

"First of all this is far and away the best written screenplay I've
read in this contest. I thought the dialouge was excellent and really
distinguished the characters from each other.... an extremely
well-written, entertaining screenplay... Very good job."

"The writer has a knack for realistic dialogue and has researched or
knows enough to make the characters sound like they have had full
and distinct lives. In addition, the writer has talent as far as writing
goes. Description. A feel of the place."




Bad Comments:

"Overall the movie could have used more drama... the story never
seems to go anywhere..."

"I just think it would be better with some dialouge cut, let the characters
(actors) be simple, forget being wordy... don't give the audience everything...
I think some dialouge could be shorter, let the characters be as simple as
the story. That would let it be more natural,(drop some of the 9-11 talk,
there's really only one place where it felt natural, don't force that issue)"

"A few technical errors, like miss-spells..."

"Most of the characters... were very formulaic. The interaction between
the characters was decent but not all of the dialouge was natural or
realistic or well tailored to character... the messages and morals
throughout the story are heavyhanded. Charlie is the main character and he
seems to me to be the weakest. I saw him as whiney and impotent, and I saw
what his problems were but didn't really identify with the way he was trying
to deal with him. I also don't understand the 9-11 references... Charlie's
character need to be strengthened and the dialogue refined. Especially his.
His problem(s) need to be more defined. We shouldn't have to be told all the
time what the characters are thinking or feeling, we should be able to
discern it from their actions. Leave things for the audience to determine on
there own."