Tao of Pauly

Shoe-Stealing Revenge

One of my few pet peeves is people talking during music concerts... either to me or around me. There's nothing more annoying than useless chatter during a musical performance. Do people talk during movies or plays? No... that behavior is not tolerated. But because the music might be loud... that gives some people the idea that they should talk about their boring lives. Can't you wait until the setbreak or when the concert ends? There are 24 hours in a day... why do they chose the middle of a set to talk about so and so's new boyfriend or girlfriend? And why do they do it within earshot of me?

This story on Gawker made me laugh.... Shoe-Stealing Revenge Against Blatherers at Central Park Concert. Someone took the shoe of one chatty girl last night at a free concert in Central Park. That's awesome!!

A few years back at a String Cheese Incident concert at Summerstage in Central Park, I turned around and scolded a young woman yapping on her cellphone, "How long will you be talking on your phone? Because if it's going to be longer than a few more minutes, let me know... because I will move to a spot with a lot less annoying people around me."

She actually apologized and stopped talking.

At an Allman Brothers Band concert at the Beacon Theatre in the mid-1990s, I yelled at one guy because his very drunk girlfriend kept talking to me, in a loud, drunken stupor during the middle of a sizzling Southbound. I grabbed the guy's elbow and begged him to shut up his woman. They switched places, thank God, and the rest of my show was great.

There was a girl I went to school with that we nicknamed Buzz Kill. Anyway, Buzz Kill was not the type of girl you wanted to see a concert with... actually you rarely wanted to do any sort of partying with her. She would get too wasted, lose something like her car keys or purse (pre-cellphones), and destroy any good time or positive vibe that you were having during a concert or at a party. And don't even think about giving her drugs. Some people can't hold their mud... and she's the poster girl for that person. Nothing is worse than having to take care of someone who is too far gone and needs help... but is so fuckin' annoying that you really don't give a rats ass if she OD's in your arms or not.

She's probably married to a Senator in Alabama now with three kids. If you are reading this... you owe me several hours of my precious youth! You killed so many of my buzzes that you need to get me high everyday thru 2008 just to make a dent in reparations.