Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Wednesday's Politco Roundup: Vote for My Daddy, Sock Boy!

Editor's Note: I posted the following entry to my latest project, the new poli-blog, This Side of the Truth. Enjoy.

The Sandy Berger story has gotten plenty of buzz and spin in the last 24 hours. The advisor to John Kerry quickly quit yesterday after the story was leaked. And it's a juicy tale, packed with plenty of drama and action, more similar to a Hollyweird summer blockbuster. Our main character, the former national security advisor to Bubba Clinton, smuggled out classified documents in of all places... his pants and shoes. He stole copies of top secret reports about the botched millennium terror plans. Of course, all of this came to light and after a clueless mistake, poor Sandy Berger is unwillingly caught up in the the mud fight, smack in the middle of an election year.

Who leaked the story? Some are pointing fingers at Republicans. Others are saying the Democrats leaked it. Sure, it's far better to get any dirty laundry out now while potential voters are on vacation or those that are paying attention will probably soon forget about it a few weeks when the next hot story takes center stage.

Jenna Bush waves good-bye to reporters

Sandy Berger, a.k.a. Sock Boy, kept everyone's favorite First Daughter, Jenna Bush, off the front page. Seems that Daddy's Girl was having a fun time joking around with the press corps the other day while out campaigning for the GOP. Her joyous moment was captured by the vultures with digital cameras, only to have her folly posted all over the internet within seconds. I betcha Laura Bush gave her a talking to this morning. But the Bushes can't be too upset. At least one of their twins isn't in rehab right now, sitting in a semi-circle with burnt out rock stars and past-their-prime celebrities discussing their fucked up childhoods. Both Bush twins graduated from college this past Spring. The smart twin went to Yale. The blonde twin hung at UT in Austin, sat on her couch, drank cheap beer, ripped bong hits, and watched Aqua Teen Hunger Force... coincidentally that's the same thing her old man did last weekend at Camp David.

The candidates' daughters are out campaigning and stumping for their fathers. Alexandra Kerry recently called the press "mean". Awwwww. Welcome to the real world, Princess. Too bad we all can't be daughters of billionaires. If you don't like what they say about your old man, who by the way, is almost as charismatic as Al Gore on three hits of Valium... then ask your Mommy to buy you your very own TV station. That way, you can come up with your own news organization that will only broadcast "nice" news stories. And you can use the rest of the air time to show reruns of Sex in the City and Felicity.

I like Jenna. She's not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but she knows how to have a good time. She'd tell you to "Fuck off," if you didn't vote for her father. That's what I love about those Texas girls. Attitude. She's got spunk. Hanging out with Alexandra Kerry seems a tad more exciting than reading the nutritional label on the back of a soup can.

Yeah, it's all bullshit anyway. Jenna's not going to be giving key note speeches any time soon. You'd be lucky to bump into her at your local Hooters trying to get drunk thirty-something java programmers to buy her another pitcher of beer, after she had placed second in a wet T-shirt contest.

Please visit my new poli-blog This Side of the Truth for more posts on politics and the like.

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