Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Free Write

Damn, Wil Wheaton almost peed his pants. He found out that his CSI episode will air on March 10th. Check local listings. I've only seen that show once and will watch it for a second and last time in 9 days.

The Poker Geek is one lucky shit. Wil invited Poker Geek to watch him play in at the WPT Invitational in Los Angeles with poker pros and celebrities. Afterwards, the Poker Geek played a cash game with Wil and some celebs. Man, I heard they were a bunch of fish too! Check out his write up. One of my favorite scenes from Ocean's 11 is when Brad Pitt teaches all those stars how to play poker, and they are terrible and pissing away huge sums of cash. Why can't that be me?

I want to devote more time to writing on my main blog. After the practical joke we called the 2004 Presidential election, I found myself with mixed feelings. I was sad because I knew the fix was in a long time ago. How could a President fuck up so badly and get re-elected? Religious right my ass. Good gamblers can smell a fix a mile away. I knew deep down that we we're doomed not because we'd have four more years of the Bush Junta (I could really care less who won, Kerry would have been just as inept), but that so many people in this country are completely blind that they thought they had a honest choice in who runs our country. Furthermore, what is worse is that everyone else in the world hates the shit out of us because they think we are a bunch of fat, new-money trash, gun-totting yahoos who willingly elect the thieves running rampant in DC like a bunch of drunken sailors at 2am in a whorehouse in Bangkok. They are just as naive. Big business is running this country. They are the puppeteers. And for every latte you buy, for every Big Mac you wolf down, for every Marlboro you fire up... you are pissing away your future.

So why was I happy after the election? Because I had a ton of Haliburton stock. Just kidding. I was happy because I didn't have that pressure on me of keeping up my poli blog This Side of the Truth. I'd love to write once or twice a week about all things politico, domestic and worldly. But I never enjoy things that I am supposed to do. Keeping up that blog and having to keep plugged into everything about the election was driving me crazy. I desperately needed to escape to Rhode Island and write a new novel.

Then this weekend, for the first time in years I had a tinge of writer's block. I firmly believe that there is no such thing. Either you are afraid or not. What are you afraid of? Writing badly, of course.

On Saturday morning I kept staring at the computer screen. I was supposed to write a book review on a poker book and I was drawing a big blank. That's is such an uncomfortable feeling. It's like the moment before intercourse and you can't get it up. Depressing. Humiliating. Troublesome. I knew why I couldn't write. For the first time I was writing for someone else and getting a price tag to do so. The words would not be mine in the end. In those instances, I detach myself from the work. Maybe that's why I think it's not as good as the stuff I write for free... for myself. Those words have more meaning and passion behind them.

I am lucky that I get to write on a topic like poker, which is one of my passions right now. I'm getting paid. And all my travels are being covered by my freelance gigs. Miami and two trips to Vegas. How could I complain? If people could write then they would be doing their own stuff. So does that mean I can churn out crap and get away with it? A paid hack. Awesome. But what is crap? Is my shitty half-assed attempt still going to be better than 95% of the other stuff out there? Probably so... but I shouldn't let that get to my head.

I'm over this writer's block. I'm in a mode again where I know that I should just keep on writing. At the end of my day, I keep the best stuff and toss aside the garbage. That shit gets posted here. And over to Truckin'.

I have 10 pieces to write with a Vegas trip for March Madness lingering in the middle of the month. I submitted one last night that I was already paid for. Nine to go and I'm almost done with a fun piece I wrote yesterday on one of my favorite gamblers of all time... Amarillo Slim. I should be working on a review of one of my favorite poker sites and instead I played online poker all morning. I'll get to the writing stuff eventually.

I also have to conjure up a new story for Truckin'. I found a new writer yesterday and I at least four stories, not including me. I just have to set aside a few hours on Friday to whip up a short story. The one I wrote last month, Happy Birthday Gladys, got a lot of buzz. Everyone dug it. I knew that the thing that I wrote up in twenty minutes would be a bigger hit than the piece of work I slaved on for months and months! I know which one I like better and that's all that matters.

That's it. I gave myself twenty minutes to unload onto blogger. I wanted to write more about how the Oscars are fixed too. Maybe tomorrow.

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